Sometimes I hate myself

Posted by Outlaw_Trucker@reddit | Truckers | View on Reddit | 75 comments

My dumb butt had a coffee sitting on the step to the top bunk which is also the counter top in my intertrashional. I stepped up to grab some vanilla from the top bunk because this is where I store my food stuff. I heard the cup hit the bunk and knew immediately what I had done. Thankfully I'm on my reset and have time to do laundry but jfc what a stupid thing to do. This is another reason I hate the way intertrashionals are set up too.

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curryshotzz@reddit

Not me thinking you couldn't hold your pee any longer and your bladder gave up :O

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supernova-juice@reddit

I was afraid it was just body stains from not bathing or washing the sheets in ages 😂 I'm so sorry for you but also relieved

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Riiakess@reddit

All those gnarly stains in those grungy mattresses? Turns out it was just coffee all along!

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supernova-juice@reddit

That's what the boys in college told me and it was a lie!

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DDESTRUCTOTRON@reddit

I ~~shitted and pissed all over myself~~ spilled coffee too sometimes

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MidnightMachinist87@reddit

Ah the coffee fragrance that lasts for weeks.

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LordHeadcheez@reddit

I once had a Dr. Pepper explode on me when I opened it, it got EVERYWHERE!

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curlyfat@reddit

“Coffee.” Nice coverup!

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NixAName@reddit

Man I get coffee every now and then.

Especially if I eat too much curry. I coffee everywhere.

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

🤣

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WallaWallaby011@reddit

I haven't pissed the bed since I was 4... Hell I don't remember pissing the bed at all! 😂

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United_News3779@reddit

I mean... technically it could have been coffee a few hours ago lol

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NativeDaemoN@reddit

That's what I said. Lmao

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JalocTheGreat@reddit

Thought that was piss lol

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MountainGoat1017@reddit

Man I need a pillow like that mf

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EmotionalBar2533@reddit

Don't lie, that's poo

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

Damn, truck stop tacos!

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HeywoodJaBlowMe123@reddit

I’m so glad you said it’s coffee. I almost uninstalled reddit for the day.

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Nitropotamus@reddit

Of course it was coffee. The lot lizard drank the coffee then proceeded to shit and piss all over op and his bedding.

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Mistermeena@reddit

They charge extra for that...uh...so ive heard

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Particular_Care6055@reddit

Dangit, now I need more cash

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sensefuldrivel@reddit

Poopman come I

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twenafeesh@reddit

And OP leads his description with "my dumb butt." What a roller coaster of emotions.

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

Lmao I didn't even think of that! 🤣

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JankyMark@reddit

Lls that’s hilarious 😂😂😂

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Sea-Frosting-8157@reddit

Totally

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RoadRatzzz@reddit

I was holding my breath

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Over_Competition_837@reddit

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

🤣 I know! When I took the pic I was like that looks like it could totally be a bad taco night too!

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Crafty_Theme7968@reddit

Seeing this is the truck sub I thought that was diarrhea lol

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HighwayStar71@reddit

Those roller dogs can hit you at the most inconvenient times.

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HighwayStar71@reddit

I forget what shitty truck with which shitty cabinets with a shitty handle that wouldn't stay closed on bumpy highways but I ended my day to find a box of tomato and red pepper soup had fallen out of the cupboard, hit the floor of the sleeper, and split open spilling tomato soup all over the floor of the sleeper. To say I was unhappy would be understating it.

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No-Anteater5184@reddit

Been there done that lol

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Ok_Inside4922@reddit

I did that once except the coffee cup tipped over with freshly brewed hot coffee spilling all over my feet. Burned the living shit out of my right foot! I couldn't wear a regular shoe for a month! I banned keurigs in my truck after that 😂

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itsaheem@reddit

sometimes the coffee explodes, it happens to everyone don't let it ruin your day 👍👍

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roberttheiii@reddit

fair warning I am a four wheeler but zojirushi coffee containers are worth it. dump gas station coffee into. lid is super well sealed. only disadvantage is that that it is too well insulated so may need babying to cool.

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Savagemac356@reddit

It’s piss

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LeeeeroooyJEnKINSS@reddit

"it's not pee it's squirt"

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dhabs@reddit

That’s more like “it’s not fart it’s shart”

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AstlerFox93@reddit

If you were vonna put that vanilla in the coffee i won't feel very sorry hahaha

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

Nah, lol. Vanilla in coffee I'm not sure would be very good unless you added a load of sugar. I was making cinnamon rolls and having my morning coffee.

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AstlerFox93@reddit

So i feel sorry for you bro. Otherwise it would have been yust your coffee comitting suicide over the humiliation 🤣

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consoulinc@reddit

Damn someone got the Hershey squirts 😭

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BigDaddydanpri@reddit

Spill proof Zojurushi thermos FTW. Keeps coffee hot for a LONG time, so drink it slower and it lasts longer.

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

The really dumb part of it is th a t my cup is spill proof ...... when the lid is put on. I was wanting it to cool faster this morning, though, so I had the top off 🤦‍♂️. On a side note, I love Zojirushi products. I have their 6 cup induction rice cooker and it makes perfect rice.

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BocieQ_7@reddit

I was frying some meat on the pan and i just chilled on the passenger seat, i then put my feet on the floor and i realized something was wrong, i felt the floor is wet. So yeah, the oil bottle flipped over and i didn't notice, almost 1l of oil spilled on the floor, there are covers here so it all soaked in too, so trust me brother, you're not the only dumbass nor is that the worst thing that ever happened haha

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1Stack_Mack@reddit

I was initially excited for the story, but was quickly disappointed. Anticlimactic 😔

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nekaiser@reddit

You peed on it

You peed on it didn’t you lil piss boy

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

You caught me. I secretly wanted to out my pee fetish.

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Junior-Credit2685@reddit

I feel your pain!! I did this with RED Gatorade yesterday! Looked like something died. Had to air-dry the sheets before I could go to sleep!

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chico-dust@reddit

Ahhh okay cause see all I saw before clicking on the thread was what looked like a piss jug explosion and your lack of hydration.

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ThePontiacBandit24@reddit

When I first saw this, I thought you trusted the fart.

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Dry_Ad2341@reddit

It's better than my dog turning quick and smacked an almost full cherry slush on my bed, those stains were permenant but at least it smelled good for a little bit and didn't look like like the Taco Bells revenge.

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96fordman03@reddit

On the plus side .... We've all been there, done that.

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play2grow@reddit

I invite you to consider reflecting on how you learned self-hate. (Probably emotional and rooted in childhood) How does it serve you as an adult? What could you do or say that would serve you better lead to my ease and joy in your life journey?

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

Psychiatrist is that you? Geez, you don't have to stalk me on reddit to give me therapy sessions.

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Oliverhavingabadtime@reddit

Dude I was on a 10hr break and I fumbled a like 44 ounce cup of blackberry lemonade all over my bed. (I grabbed it in a way that made the lid pop off) It was all over my freaking electric blanket, I was so bummed 😔

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codekb@reddit

I thought you had really bad night terrors or couldn’t hold your bladder.

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Remarkable_Corgi4016@reddit

If it makes you feel better, I dropped an entire stick of butter on my bed without realizing it when I was putting away my groceries. It was the middle of summer and I ended a 14 hour shift only to find a completely empty butter wrapper and a giant grease stain on my brand new memory foam mattress. I had to buy a new bed 😭

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homucifer666@reddit

Did that with a missing chocolate bar. Couldn't figure out where it had got to...until I felt the warm smear after I woke up.

Thankfully it smelt nice and I have a mattress protector. Threw the sheets in the laundry bag, put on new ones, changed clothes and wiped the chocolate off myself.

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YukonDude64@reddit

As “warm smears” go you could have done worse 🤷‍♂️

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

🤣

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

Oh christ, that is bad 😂. When I started reading I thought you were going to say you didn't notice because you were so tired and slept on it. That would have been a fun morning.

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MCryptoWars@reddit

Top bunk converted into a hospital bed 👀!

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arrynyo@reddit

At least it's gonna smell good. Unless the coffee was trash then I feel sorry for you 😭

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

It actually did smell pretty good. Was the "Cowboy Coffee" from Hucks. It has a kind of berry aroma to it. Kind of hard to describe but it smells pretty nice.

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Unable_Anywhere2983@reddit

I was so relived to see coffee omg.

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sicksixgamer@reddit

Thank god it was just coffee. I was about to mute this sub for a while.

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BDS_707@reddit

Different scenario but it might make you feel better. When I was just 18, I started working for USPS as a mail handler. I was carpooling with my dad and would take my breaks in his truck cuz I didn’t talk much at the time. I had been drinking coffee from my thermos cup to keep me warm. He a 97 Ranger that was manual and I hadn’t fully learned/understood how to drive it yet. Anyway I got cold and wanted to run the heater so I started the truck up. Unfortunately for me it was in gear and immediately started to roll forward. I frantically slid over and applied the brakes, but in that moment my coffee which was in my lap spilled all over my crotch and the truck. Worst part was the girls had been flirting with SAW THE WHOLE thing. I had to work my remaining 6 hours with stains all over my crotch. Also my dad’s truck only stopped cuz it rolled into a sign and then a tree.

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terrydennis1234@reddit

Gross

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit (OP)

It's just coffee. A mess, yes. Gross? Not really.

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