I'm from LA but right now I'm in New Zealand. Um... I'm neurodivergent and I don't know how to handle relationships. Did I mess up any chances (even for a long-term friendship) I had with this woman? (I miss home btw...)

I (25M) am a dual US-New-Zealand citizen, and I am close friends with a woman, "K" (36F) who lives in my building. I know her because she's affiliated with the university I'm attending right now. I am in love with her, but I need to work past the age gap. I am neurodivergent and she's perfectly healthy but she has a really big fear/phobia of dying/getting killed.

Two days ago, I was walking back home when I ran into K, as she was out running. She was wearing only a spaghetti strap sports bra and her basketball shorts, and it was the first time I’ve seen her without a shirt on so it made me feel extreme feelings in my stomach (also, a tiny bit of the upper part of her buttcrack was visible...). She said hey, and she walked with me back to our building. We got into the elevator with a boy, J, that we’re both acquainted with. J is a 14M high schooler. He grew up around K, and he has in the past mentioned that he has a crush on her because he thinks she looks like a cute anime girl (K is ethnically South Korean and she has a Japanese background).

Unfortunately, the elevator got stuck. It wasn’t a big deal initially, but we ended up getting stuck for more than 1.5 hours. At first, K wasn’t alarmed or anything, but J made physical contact with her bare shoulder and it was startling enough for her to go “oh god”. She just assumed that it was accidental, but she was sweating bullets nonstop after she was touched. Since she was tired from her run, she sat down on the elevator floor, but when she saw J staring down her sports bra, she started crying and said “oh my god please”. She immediately got up and she actually went behind me and she kept one of her arms around me while keeping her other arm crossed around her chest. All of this happened in the first 20 minutes of us getting stuck. She couldn’t stop crying for the rest of the time we were stuck in the elevator, and every time J made a step towards her, she screamed. At one point, while she was still holding onto me, I got disturbed because I thought she was using me as a human shield. Also, she was getting her sweat and tears on my clothes, and the entire elevator smelled like her, so I did get her to stop holding onto me. When I did this, she looked as though I stabbed her in the back.

PS: Just to be fully honest, before K melted down, I did also make a joke about how J and I were fully clothed whereas there was just this cute, nearly-naked woman in the elevator with us. She did laugh when I made this joke though.