ULPT Coworker microwaves fish
Posted by thisismyaccount60@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 39 comments
This guy puts fish in the shared office microwave next to my office at least 3X a week. How do I make it stop? (His workspace is too close to mine for fart spray)
Desperate_Set_7708@reddit
Throw the circuit breaker that powers the microwave. “Guess it’s out of order.”
Turn it on when you or other coworkers need it
razzemmatazz@reddit
It's probably on a GFCI, so just hit the test button to kill the circuit.
SoggyMcChicken@reddit
Just put a “do not use” or “out of order” sign on it like people do for porta potties at festivals.
pnw_sunny@reddit
shrimp in his chair
Liquid_G@reddit
I would start commenting out loud "OH MY GOD what is that smell". Ask other co-workers out loud if they smell that. Keep doing it within earshot of fish-nuker-guy. Maybe he'll get the hint.
huggarn@reddit
I'd yell back "it's my smelly fish". Deal with it.
Liquid_G@reddit
found the fish-nuker.
huggarn@reddit
I hate fish. But even more people who won’t talk directly about issues.
Liquid_G@reddit
this is ulpt. we don't do that here.
IAmTheLizardQueen666@reddit
fish-fuker
Blunt_but_Honest98@reddit
Hmm, you could always spray the microwave with Geosmin - it’s a perfume ingredient. On all food except fish or seafood there’s little to no noticeable effect. On fish and seafood, Geosmin concentrate will make it taste like it came straight out of mud pool.
madsheeter@reddit
How do you know this?
jooooooooooooose@reddit
It's "common" knowledge in fishing community. Its why fish like carp & catfish can taste like dirt. Commonly occurring compound that humans are like 100,000x more sensitive to than sharks are to blood.
I dont think the "it only affects" fish thing is true at all, though. It's just that it commonly is tasted in fish because of how fish are bioaccumulators of their environment. If you do a poor job washing root vegetables you'll taste it then, too.
sonarboku@reddit
!updateme
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sonarboku@reddit
Install a device in the microwave’s power line that allows you to turn off the microwave remotely. Whenever his fish starts cooking; you stop it. Lather, rinse, repeat until he gets the hint?
Key-Candle8141@reddit
While he is at the microwave go poop in his coffee cup
Agerak@reddit
This coffee tastes like shit!
HeilYourself@reddit
Tell him to stop?
LouisePoet@reddit
How unethical of you to suggest this!
MongooseVomit@reddit
Tell him to stop after replacing his fish with a piss disc
Agerak@reddit
Much better!
regularforcesmedic@reddit
Break the microwave.
UntestedMethod@reddit
This is the most reasonable solution. It's even better if you can make it look like the fish guy broke it.
SoylentGreenLantern@reddit
Get over it.
digitalforestmonster@reddit
r/lostredditers
OneVorteXx@reddit
Lol u deserve to be slapped with a fish
DoubleBreastedBerb@reddit
Tape a “This unit has been updated to respond to voice commands” and then listen while he yells “microwave my fish for two minutes” loudly.
First_Shes_Sweet@reddit
Report his ass to HR if he refuses to stop.
xpltvdeleted@reddit
It's been a long time since I worked in an office. But when I did, I brought kedgeree to the office and microwaved it. The very next day there was a sign on the microwave saying 'no fish'.
I didn't know if it was HR or just a colleague who put it there. But I did not microwave curried fish ever again.
BigBoyBoulevard6@reddit
Just casually ask him why he is so inconsiderate towards the entire office. If he acts confused, calmly explain that no one wants to smell microwaved fish for hours afterwards, and no one else chooses to eat such an obnoxious food.
c4pt1n54n0@reddit
Because that's not passive and could incite retaliation. If someone at work called my food obnoxious I'd definitely start messing with them on purpose as well.
PimoCrypto777@reddit
Cut the power cord. Just make sure you unplug it first.
RollyAllDay@reddit
Piss disk on the keyboard
950771dd@reddit
Tape a fish under his desk.
MarcellaMeadow@reddit
Taping a partially opened can of tuna or sardines would be easier. (Not that I have ever done that to a manager that everybody hated who spent most of his time in his isolated corner office)
Ok-Calligrapher-8028@reddit
Maybe your coworker asked for ulpt and was told to start microwaving fish… is he trying to get fired and collect unemployment? What if… he’s trying to mess with YOU!
bigdave41@reddit
You could start putting droplets of fish oil around his desk, on his clothes and other belongings? Then after a while mention that you've heard people who eat fish a lot can start to smell like fish. When he realises everyone avoids him because he stinks of fish, maybe he'll stop eating it?
silentstorm2008@reddit
This is part of anti-RTO strategy. You just got up it and make the office uncomfortable for everyone else too- particularly management