ULPT: how to brick an xps (2017)
Posted by microwavedcrocodil3@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 3 comments
Context: I bought this laptop with permission from my parents (second hand) for about $500 4 years ago. The original seller didn't mention that the CMOS battery was failing among so many other OS issues he didn't mention (yes partially my fault). The laptop is a pain in the ass to use; it takes 5 minutes to boot up, its extremely laggy, the brightness is fixed to 100%, zooming in on a page causes it go black for a few minutes, I have to reinstall windows every month to have somewhat of an OK user-experience, the number keys don't work and so much more bullshit. I have replaced the battery, cleaned it 3-4 times a year, replaced the paste, but given its age and the prior issues, I just can't keep using it, especially since I'll be starting university in the fall.
Now, I'm 18, but my parents are strict. I don't have complete access to my own bank account, and I have to call them or ask for permission when I want to spend money. I have been saving up for a new laptop and I can comfortably afford it, but my parents will not let me since they see me using my extremely uncapable xps and see no issue since I can google things and type on a google doc (they're in their late 60s so I guess the assumption is reasonable). However, knowing them, if my laptop looks like it wont turn on, or something is really broken with it, they'll allow me to buy a new one.
So, I need suggestions that won't trigger a fire. Also, my dad is an electrical engineer (yes I know it's ironic since he "sees" nothing wrong with it unless the situation is dire; i.e. a permanently damaged laptop), so anything that has to do with damaging the hardware is off the table, as well as physical damage like "accidentally" spilling water on it since he'll immediately be able to tell and further ridicule me.
I know my way around MB components and electronics, so please send in any suggestions :)
joshnosh50@reddit
what happens if you just don't clean it? Maybe it will get bad enough by itself.
I assume the fact you've said you've changed the pace means you're comfortable opening up the machine.
In which case you could simply just remove the paste or just dry out with a hot gun so that doesn't work properly.
My personal favourite would probably be to just run a 9 volt battery over it.
Just expose the motherboard and run the battery terminals bear across the back of the board for 10 minutes just shorting everything out you can.
9 volt batteries aren't that powerful and you won't see large sparks or burn marks or anything like that.
But things like the main processor run at 1.2v for example. It's way to much current and you will almost certainly distroy the components internally.
However this may be the perfect opportunity to improve your reasoning abilaties with your parents.
I would put together an actual presentation and ask them for some time to show them.
Show them that you truly understand that point of view and the money shouldn't be spent frivolously. Show them all the effort you've gone to in terms of keeping this thing running well past what most other people would have expected.
Show them the ongoing effort and frustration involved in using the existing machine.
Show them that you understand and appreciate the cost involved witty buying a new machine but that this isn't a frivolous purchase for you and it's something you believe is a worthwhile Investment.
This would also help you understand if your parents are just looking out for you and your money or genuinely just being dicks about it.
rochismoextremo@reddit
You could try updating the bios, if you can, and then shut down the laptop midway. That could brick it
LOSERS_ONLY@reddit
I've been watching this guy on YouTube who specializes in dell laptops. It seems like the easiest way to permanently kill your laptop is to fry the CPU by bypassing the voltage regulators with a wire while the laptop is on and sending battery voltage directly through the CPU. Keep in mind this will junk the motherboard which is pretty much the entire cost of the machine.