Help-talked to my invalid daddy tonite. He is not receiving his SS check
Posted by Pitiful-Werewolf4173@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 22 comments
Any GenX advice ?
My invalid dad is married to a known skimming money gal. He has not seen his SS check since 2003! I live over 1000 miles away, and unemployed. I have been trying to get to him for a visit Should I confront the women directly?
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RandomObserver13@reddit
You could have your dad add you to his account. Might be difficult if you don’t have a local branch though. Also sounds like they already have a joint account so that may not be possible without setting up a third account. I’d be careful about diving in and throwing around accusations without knowing the full story first though.
SufficientOpening218@reddit
most people get it direct deposit these days, because of this exact situation. he can create an online account at myssa.gov to have it direct deposit into his bank account. then of course, he needs to password protect his phone
APS is always an option, but its a big deal.
Pitiful-Werewolf4173@reddit (OP)
He has his own account, that she has access to, therefore transfers to her account.
UrsaMajor7th@reddit
Makes sense if he's an invalid- she needs access to the money to take care of them. He's in his mid-80s?
SufficientOpening218@reddit
thats is a clear problem. APS go!!
Lemon-Cake-8100@reddit
Nothing like waiting...23 years??!!... to fix a problem! 😂
UrsaMajor7th@reddit
If there was procrastination Olympics, I'd start training tomorrow.
Current-Climate-5856@reddit
New bank account at a different bank?
Pitiful-Werewolf4173@reddit (OP)
He has his account, she has hers. She goes into his and immediately transfers his monthy check to her account
demona2002@reddit
Can he have the money sent to you? You could pay bills or send groceries on his behalf…?
finding_center@reddit
It’s probably direct deposited into their bank account. Is he aware of his bills, finances etc at all? If he doesn’t think he’s getting his social security how does he think his bills are being paid? Does he have other income?
Pitiful-Werewolf4173@reddit (OP)
I asked him what the mortgage was, utilites, and his response was direct and souned resonable. I looked up the property, found an outstanding tax bill. He is my pops, so just advised to get her to sit down and go over household expenses, and divvy up by week to week. This should tell him where his money is going and WHY
Pitiful-Werewolf4173@reddit (OP)
He has his own account. She has her account, knowing all of his account numbers, etc
finding_center@reddit
It is very easy to find out where it’s being deposited. He can call social security and ask and then let them know it needs to go to a different account. (Very easy but probably not fast. Be prepared to sit on hold 😭 )
AnotherTechWonk@reddit
Look up Adult Protective Services in your dad's area, usually a county or city service. Let them know you suspect that your dad's wife is committing some sort of financial abuse to your disabled parent. They should be able to investigate the issue. If they are married, likely she has a right to access his income bud doesn't have a right to neglect him. Confronting her won't fix anything but will let her get her ducks in a row before any investigation happens. Better that her first awareness of what's coming is when they knock on the door to interview the dad.
Pitiful-Werewolf4173@reddit (OP)
That is what I keep in mind. He has no money, at all, not even $10 dollar bill. He cannot walk, but his mind is sharp. I just found out today about his situation. They have been married a long time. Today was the first time he told me.
Puzzleheaded_Use_566@reddit
She’s been married to him for 23 years?
Um, maybe she actually loves him? 23 years is a helluva long game to play.
Techchick_Somewhere@reddit
What? That probably needs a lawyer.
SarniltheRed@reddit
Meth is a helluva drug
MaximumJones@reddit
This sounds like an episode of a reality t.v. show.
Joyous-Volume-67@reddit
2003? Well, if they're married there's very little you're going to be able to do about it. You can absolutely confront her if you like, but if she tells you, he's her husband, and their finances are tied together, that'll most likely be that.