ULPT Request: Stop cars speeding by my house

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Reasonable-Two-7298@reddit

my neighbors put a dog statue by the road. they move it every few weeks...I know it's there, but my gut reaction is always that there's a dog about to run out.

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Cover a doll in ketchup. Put doll in a stroller. Push stroller in front of the speeding car. Scream and cry at them about how they killed your baby. Make it believable. Just when they believe it and it sinks in. Break character. Tell them they are a shitty driver, they are not in control of their vehicle and to slow the F down. Tell them this is their one chance.

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tetheredvoid@reddit

Any woman who tried this would likely be assaulted on the spot.

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vladamyr710@reddit

This would result in an unpredictable reaction.

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fieldsofanfieldroad@reddit

And if that doesn't work, second time do it with their baby

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eml_raleigh@reddit

I read about somebody in the UK who experimented with ways to slow drivers (no hill involved). A plush stuffed cat with a reflective collar had more effect than fake speed camera signs.

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tetheredvoid@reddit

Thank you... This gives me several ideas.

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Active_Elk_4831@reddit

Buy a 30-year-old junker and put it on the street so they have to slow down to go around it

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AnyUnderstanding1879@reddit

4x4 boards randomly in the road at the bottom of the hill

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Tr0z3rSnak3@reddit

Pallets are free

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todudeornote@reddit

Terrible idea. If theirs an accident, their will be an investigation

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iusetoomuchdrano@reddit

There’s and there

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WeatheredGenXer@reddit

gif

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Tr0z3rSnak3@reddit

Not my fault some truck didn't secure their load. Remember what sub we are on?

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Rabid_Dingo@reddit

Rolling Stones - Paint It Black is a great song.

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ScytheVeiper@reddit

Why do you need unethical tips, why not start with more reasonable ones like calling the non-emergency number and reporting that there's a major issue, or posting on community Facebook pages to bring attention to the matter? I swear redditors just want to be nasty as a default

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discoduck007@reddit

I got one of those yellow flag men at a yard sale, I just leave that thing out on the curb like he lives there. I'm 5 houses down from a speed hump and man you'd be surprised how much speed you can pick up in only five houses!

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toomuch1265@reddit

Once again...Caltrops

gif

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MarleysGhost2024@reddit

My dad and some neighbors went out at night and dug big potholes. It worked, and my brother and I started a hubcap collection.

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No-Falcon631@reddit

Yup, a poorly maintained road will encourage people to drive slower.

Maybe some gravel and small but visible rocks.

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standardtissue@reddit

That's my city's strategy and it's brilliant - they save on road repair and cops at the same time !

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New-Geezer@reddit

I knew someone who would use a pickaxe to put in a small trench going across the dirt road in front of his house after the grader would go by. It was enough to breed many more potholes from there.

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Key-Candle8141@reddit

Or large and randomly placed cinderblocks

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Worth-Ease-2386@reddit

That makes it worse.

Five years ago, the new building across the street needed access to the gas main. The builder arranged for a trench across the street as the pipe is on our side.

Now, the trench has subsided, not much to look at, maybe an inch.

Every car that crosses it at speed results in a slap slap noise. Trucks with anything loose are even worse.

Definitely don't do it out front of your house.

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Rabid_Dingo@reddit

I discovered through a leak in an old gas tank, that gasoline gasoline degrades asphalt. Just a tidbit.

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WPW717@reddit

Mannikin ( horizontal ) & lots of ketchup at the top of the hill.

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lynivvinyl@reddit

A guy I know dents the top of people's hoods with his hand as they drive by his house in a 20 mph zone at 50 or 60 miles an hour. But he's a nut job and he's made of calluses.

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SpinachOver640@reddit

He punches cars going 50 mph?

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lynivvinyl@reddit

I don't actually know how fast the car was going but it was freaking flying in a 20 mile an hour zone on a one lane road full of kids and he did this crazy jump punch thing in front of me and dented the guy's Hood. Apparently the teenager who was driving like that never drove fast on that road again in front of him.

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RevBT@reddit

Make a big sign that says "cop on other side" put it out for people to see.

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Mangrove43@reddit

Spike strip

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that_cat_gets_me@reddit

Park on the side of the road. Try to get your neighbors to do the same. Many cities won't install speed bumps anymore. Plenty of information on the Google about that.

The next best thing to do is narrow the road/line of sight. One reason people speed is because they have the room to speed. If you can create a pinch point with parking vehicles on the side of the street, that helps and is more cost effective/quicker results than having to fight the city narrow the road or plant trees.

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Impossible_Volume811@reddit

Put up a fake speed camera and a camera sign. Easy to find on eBay.

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miraculum_one@reddit

and a strobe light

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aspie_electrician@reddit

Strobe light with a motion sensor

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Oldies-But-Goodies@reddit

Strobe light with a motion sensor… and a speaker that plays the DuDU siren sound.

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Wezpa@reddit

ULPT request: how do I disable a fake speed camera making noises and flashing all night keeping me and my children awake?

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Oldies-But-Goodies@reddit

lol fair enough! Although the more ridiculous this thread gets the more I’m loving it. On a more boring note, I vote for simple concrete speed bumps.

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KittyPuperMamaPerson@reddit

Motion detector strobing flood lights. Or, wood planks with nails and screws in them.

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SVTContour@reddit

Are you allowed to park on the street? People will slow down when roads are narrow.

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Zeebird95@reddit

Put up a memorial like a kid died

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idrivehookers@reddit

Put a basketball hoop out front and start throwing balls at cars that are speeding, that's what my neighbor did for years.

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MrMathamagician@reddit

The story I was told once was that throwing rocks at the cars was a very effective tactic.

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aharedd1@reddit

I did this on my peaceful dirt road when I was living in Ecuador. One day my backstreet became the shortcut for every bus on the nearby route, rumbling past way too early in the morning, spewing awful smoke into my apartment. A couple weeks in I went out one night and made a bump a couple inches high and wide. My neighbor came out to help. Wow- So effective! Bam went the buses and high speed drivers. So satisfying. About 2 weeks of that and the buses got the message and vanished.

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MakeoutPoint@reddit

Make that hill 6 inches taller in one spot: get the city to install a speed bump

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Ok-Bit4971@reddit

And watch the spectacular launches!

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Ok-Negotiation-3892@reddit

1) Make your own at night. Bags of asphalt hole filler.

2)Do it at night! 2-a, Make sure no RING camera's are around.

3) Video the action from a well known public area, in the AM, drinking coffee.

Post it.

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spoonybard326@reddit

Or do it in the middle of the day, using a work truck, hard hats, and high vis vests to show passersby you belong there. There’s a new strain of COVID going around so be sure to cover your face.

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Sk8r_2_shredder@reddit

lol r/actlikeyoubelong would find this comment very fitting

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Critical_Duck8154@reddit

My dad really did this when I was a kid. He was a road construction worker and would get mad at how people would fly down the alley behind our house when my little sister and I were playing in the yard. The city wouldn't do anything about it, so one day (with the blessing of the neighbors) he brought home a partial load of asphalt hole filler and put in his own speed bumps in the alley. They lasted a couple years before someone reported it to the city and they fined him and made him take them out. Social media didn't exist then, or else I'm sure he would've loved to post it, because he sure did love watching people hit them 😂.

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JRISPAYAT@reddit

FFS dumb neighbor! Your dad is a good man! Did you ever find out who reported him?

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Critical_Duck8154@reddit

Never found out who reported, but my parents did successfully lobby to have the alley closed to thru traffic the following year. People only used it as a cut thru to avoid driving an extra half block, so closing it didn't disrupt city traffic or anything. They built a big fence at the mid point and then it just became driveway access for the 4 houses adjacent to it.

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SeaUrchinSalad@reddit

Probably some asshole not neighbor that broke their struts

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xredbaron62x@reddit

You can buy speed bumps on Amazon. Ship them to someone else you know

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Rabid_Dingo@reddit

I think I read somewhere that a neighborhood got tired of the same and installed their own speed bumps. I think the large recycled tire composite bumps are available online. Just glue them down one night and wait for the show.

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Rabid_Dingo@reddit

Just checked, Amazon has a 2pack of 7ft bumps for 149 with 8 bolts for installation. 66,000lbs capacity.

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Dull-Classroom-3479@reddit

I have something similar. Live in a 20mph zone on a main road in a town. People RACE past.

My mind turns to homemade caltrops.

But I'd feel bad if I got someone who wasn't speeding (i.e. 90% of the people driving by)

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MC_Cuff_Lnx@reddit

Shit gets left in the road all the time. Nobody saw anybody leave that shit in the road. What happens if the car hits some rocks, or a two-by-four? If you're not able to see what's on the other side perhaps they'll hit it.

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janitor1986@reddit

I understand the reaction but you gotta think about the potentially innocent people in this situation. What about if someone is driving and hits the 2x4 and it flies up and flies through someones windshield and kills them or it causes the driver to crash into a group of kids on the sidewalk. Same scenario with the rocks. We don't have to look 10 steps ahead but we've gotta at least look 2 steps.

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No-Falcon631@reddit

They should drive slower too

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MC_Cuff_Lnx@reddit

I decided to amend my original post after reading your argument. Fair point sir.

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MC_Cuff_Lnx@reddit

Well, that outcome would certainly be unethical.

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8qubit@reddit

So even the guy going the speed limit gets punished?

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kevinh456@reddit

Hell hath no fury like a law abiding citizen scorned

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MC_Cuff_Lnx@reddit

Not necessarily. But yes, group punishment is acceptable. This is r/UnethicalLifeProTips

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Ghrrum@reddit

Glue a flat cardboard box to the road. Nobody goes over a box quickly

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threepot900@reddit

Read a story about a farmer that did that with an old plastic feed sack.

He used to walk his cattle over the road from the field to the milking parlour twice a day , and a bloke who was ‘something in the city’ but had moved to the countryside for the lifestyle used to hammer his Porsche round the lanes and past the farm at great speed.

Several times the farmer asked him to slow down as he passed the farm but the guy just ignored him. The farmer nailed and corner of the sack to the road, and next day the Porsche drove right over it, didn’t slow or swerve, nothing.

Same the next day and the day after that. Friday there was a loud bang as the car sped over the bag and ripped out the sump on the breeze block that had appeared in the sack!

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miraculum_one@reddit

otoh these are people who are going airborne over a blind hill so who knows what they'll do

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FlipMyWigBaby@reddit

Paint a fake speed bump near there. Lots of vids and shorts out there, make sure it uses same patterns as your local area uses. Don’t get caught, don’t admit it to anybody!

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Tiny_Garlic5966@reddit

Buy a bunch of cold patch and make your own speed bump

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JoinedReddit@reddit

1 ton van. Angle iron off-road frame. Comprehensive coverage. Parking a bit away from the curb. Now picture a twin across the street.

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Jonny-Propaganda@reddit

The real answer is park out there. narrowing the road slows the traffic.

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Pumpkin_Pie@reddit

I thought about buying a junker and parking it partially in the road

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Miss_Management@reddit

For awhile there was a police station in my old town that rented radars. Doesn't hurt to ask? It will at least put your street on their radar. You can also bring it up at a local city council meeting.

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RIPdon_sutton@reddit

Old, weathered, cedar fence plank with a few old nails in it. Color kinda blends in to the road. Small profile will make it even harder to see. I have absolutely never ever done this before.

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1braincellorangeboi@reddit

I have absolutely never done this before.

I bet they've done this before.

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Old_Win8422@reddit

Get a sign of a kid chasing a ball. Put that on Aframe barricade on your curb. Wait and listen and occasionally accidentally roll balls into the street

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BikingEngineer@reddit

Bowling balls I assume. For your front yard bowling alley of course.

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1braincellorangeboi@reddit

And then automate it. With a microcontroller and a camera or a mini pc, every time it detects a car in a specific area let a bowling ball cross the road. If it didn't get hit, create a return system under the road! Like a true bowling alley lane!

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prenox@reddit

We have that problem but they are all dirt roads.

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LachoooDaOriginl@reddit

Since this is ulpt id say just put some bricks there, fuckem and their wheels/whatever it hits. Put them far enough that someone doing the speed limit can just go around them but close enough to get reckless assholes a nice repair bill

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PowerfulFly1326@reddit

You can repeatedly report a speed camera (or cop) on Waze and get some to slow down based on that.

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jatineze@reddit

Bright red children's kickball glued to a flat board, placed strategically at the edge line. No one speeds past a children's ball... There might be a kid or dog running toward it.

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baldieforprez@reddit

Get eggshell foam...you know the type that matress use. Cut a single strip one pointy side thick paint red and yellow and glue to the road.

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Arthur_Jam@reddit

Everyone saying install a speed bump - why not just paint one. I saw a video of ppl painting a speed bump and it looked pretty real. Just painted on an angle so it looks real from afar.

If its one specific person or a few ppl you'll start to notice who they are once they know it's fake. Then you can handle how you'd like. I don't like police but this is basically one reason why they exist.

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TNTarantula@reddit

Some sheet plywood with a message painted on: "SPEED CAMERA AHEAD"

Its not illegal, but is untruthful. Cops will only care if there actually is a speed camera (where I live).

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