Is the depiction of the labour and delivery waiting room on films actually accurate?
Posted by Paxos100@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 217 comments
Random question but… When someone is having a baby in an American film or sitcom the whole family seem to arrive at the hospital the same time as the labouring woman and wait hours and hours for the baby to arrive. Does this actually happen?! Like in Friends when they all hang around in the hospital for days. It’s totally not like that in the UK and, being a midwife, I’ve always been intrigued!
ScubaCC@reddit
Hospitals seem to be phasing out the labor/delivery waiting rooms. There are other places in the hospital to wait, but they don’t want people sitting right outside the L&D unit doors.
andmewithoutmytowel@reddit
When my son was born, my MIL flew in, and she stayed for about 15 hours while my son was being born (26 hours total). When my daughter was born, my mom dropped my wife at the hospital, I came from work, my mom didn't even have time to get parked before my daughter was born. Literally the attending examined my wife, and said "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that there's no time for an epidural. The good news is that this baby is going to be born in the next 15 minutes."
10 minutes later I was holding my daughter right as we were told my mom was waiting outside.
TheKiddIncident@reddit
It's really up to you. My wife didn't want a ton of people lurking about watching her like she was in a zoo. So, it was only me and her mother there at her request.
After the baby was born, family came to visit in the hospital and meet the baby.
RRR-Mimi-3611@reddit
I’m surprised by the number of comments mentioning separate rooms for labor, delivery and recovery. In my area, unless it’s a Caesarean section it’s all done in one room. They aren’t moving you all over the place. It’s a rather large room with a bed for the partner too who usually stays the whole time
AuroraLorraine522@reddit
Not for me, but definitely for a lot of people. It’s obviously much easier when the family lives nearby.
I’ve never seen that episode of Friends, but that definitely sounds unrealistic. Idk how it is in the UK, but unless you’re close to delivery, the hospital is going to send you home. The only reason they’d keep someone in L&D for days is if things aren’t progressing well or there are complications. Even after delivery, they’re sending you home after two days. (I was kept for 3 because of my blood pressure due to preeclampsia)
I gave birth in a military hospital and they tried to send me home because I didn’t “seem like I was in enough pain” to be in active labor. They agreed to humor me and give me an exam when they discovered I was 7cm dilated and my contractions were back to back.
My husband was deployed and my family was hundreds of miles away. Plus I didn’t want anyone in the delivery room with me if my husband couldn’t be there. My MIL happened to be in town (I was about a week early) so she was with me until it was time to deliver. She was in the waiting room for maybe an hour. I didn’t want other family or friends to visit until the next day. So even if they had tried to be there, the staff would have turned them away.
AmishAngst@reddit
I don't know what it's like post-COVID, but yeah - I remember when my cousin was born and waiting for quite a few hours in the waiting room with my mom, grandma, and my aunt's parents and siblings.
cameronpark89@reddit
lol it’s not that dramatic. it’s quiet and boring for the most part. you might hear some yells or screams if someone is having contractions. i had to have a natural birth so i screamed a lot and had no voice for 3 days.
purplepeopleeater333@reddit
My mom and mother in law stayed in the hospital the whole time but in and out of my room. I didn’t want to labor with everyone in the room.
My husband stayed with me in the room.
My friends and family arrived after
ClearAndPure@reddit
Sometimes, but usually only really close family members. Typically you’ll have more people come after the baby is born.
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
When I had my first one, the only one who was there was my husband. And that was only in the labor room, he didn't come into delivery. His MIL kept everyone else from coming by pointing out this was my first baby and first babies usually take the longest to show up. Good call on her part, I was in labor for almost 20 hours.
He called them as soon as they wheeled me into delivery, and they were there within about 10 minutes. Total wait time for them from the time they arrived to the time the nurses brought me and our daughter out was I think about 30 minutes. They were taking bets in the delivery room about whether it was a boy or a girl.
mellowmarsII@reddit
I had severe hyperemesis the last 34 weeks of my 40-week pregnancy; & the last thing baby & I wanted/needed when my water broke was any stimulation beyond med pros & my husband’s necessary presence.
But my husband was 50% Tejano.
My white mother-in-law was BFF with one of his 9 aunts; so, naturally, she & her BFF were there in my labor/delivery room… & the other 8 aunts… & the matriarch of 16: my husband’s precious grandma, Angelita (I could never refuse)… & there was my older sister-in-law & her son/my nephew; & my younger sis-in-law my older-sis-in law babysat b/c she was same age as my nephew…
PsychoFaerie@reddit
I would have kicked all of them out.. I could NOT handle having more than my husband and maybe my mom or MIL in the room. (Also nurses have no problem kicking people out for you)
Joel_feila@reddit
Fun fact average Labor tome for your first bby is 12 to 24 hours
rockninja2@reddit
Interesting way to call your mother
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
I did not notice that. It's been corrected. Thanks!
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
My first baby came in 8 hours and my aunties were fake mad at me!
ATLien_3000@reddit
We don't have labour and delivery in the US. They might in Canada, I guess.
HooksNHaunts@reddit
For me it was just my mom, gf, and myself. When it came to delivery they only wanted me in there with her along with a team of nurses and the doctor.
The delivery room had a bed and a few machines but it was more like a hotel room than a hospital.
Baby was not allowed to leave the ward and you had to buzz in at the door then walk past all the employees to get back to the rooms.
Mandatory 3 day stay. I was allowed to leave but the baby and mother were confined to the room.
IAmBaconsaur@reddit
When my parent's first grandchild was born, we did wait at the hospital for hours until they were born, but I think COVID has killed that off.
Adept_Carpet@reddit
Yeah this was a recent change, but my mother in law waited for the better part of 24 hours in the general area of the hospital when ours came.
For a long time, babies in the nursery were put on public display as a way of cheering up the often very depressed people around a hospital.
SunshineBLim@reddit
My daughter (born 2008) and son (born 2008), were in my room. But the nurses offered to take them to the nursery, and feed them for a few hours overnight so I could rest. I let them. I had both by c-section and I was exhausted.
Dave_A480@reddit
That ended when they stopped taking the newborns away from mom to keep them in a nursery & started having mother-and-baby private-room recovery as the norm...
The current 'way' is that baby goes with mom to the recovery room & stays there for 24hrs, then gets discharged home...
Only NICU babies go to a nursery, and then only as-long-as required to get them healthy enough to go in-with-mom in the recovery room (or to go home if mom has been discharged)...
jvc1011@reddit
I don’t even know many people who have stayed 24 hours. A lot of women and babies are discharged the same day now.
OrganicHistorian2576@reddit
I can just remember seeing babies in the nursery as a kid. I’m 50. I don’t know when that ended.
Dave_A480@reddit
They stopped putting babies into nurseries altogether... Baby stays with mom from birth through discharge (24hrs later) unless too sick for that (then NICU).
CobandCoffee@reddit
When my son was born 6 months ago they told us we had the option of sending him to the nursery any time we wanted a break during the hospital stay. We didn't end up doing so and he stayed in the room with us. They did have one of those nurseries with the big glass window like you see on TV but it was empty the entire time we were there.
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
My nephew was (briefly) in the nursery at the hospital while they checked him over. This was in 2018. My brother was in there with him. He was born via c-section which I suppose might have had something to do with it.
OrganicHistorian2576@reddit
I know they stopped. I just don’t know exactly when or if it was gradual or what. My brother was born in ‘84 at an Air Force hospital and was in the room (a quad, my Lord) with Mom for the whole time.
Things can change fast. My dad wasn’t allowed in when I was born. He was for said brother.
ArtificialSatellites@reddit
Definitely gradual, my brother was born in 1994 and I remember my dad picking me up to look through the nursery window at him.
jvc1011@reddit
I remember riding bikes to a local hospital with a cousin so we could look at the cute new babies. It was easy enough and considered a harmless and cute activity in the 1980s.
BearsLoveToulouse@reddit
I gave birth before and during Covid. Even before Covid it seemed that the hospital was discouraging people from coming to the hospital and waiting. Their waiting room was very small and during the tour the guide said we could just call and text after the baby was born. Every hospital is different and I know there is some cultural/regional differences
SuperNefariousness11@reddit
When my Granddaughter had her 1st, total count was 10. We show up.
Ginger630@reddit
Sometimes that happens. For my sister, my parents and her in-laws waited for hours. So when I had my kids, I told them I’d call when the baby was here. I didn’t want anyone waiting around. That made me anxious.
TheOtherElbieKay@reddit
No. I told everyone that I would not allow waiting room warriors.
Also the drama around water breaking is only one way it can play out.
iowanaquarist@reddit
Depends on the family and how trashy they are. The classy thing is to wait until you are invited, if at all. The parents are overwhelmed and exhausted and don't need a crowd.
Zippered_Nana@reddit
Everything is so variable from one area of the U.S. to another. People have different attitudes towards extended family in general from one area to another, not just pertaining to childbirth.
We also have such a fragmented health system. From one hospital to another there are different policies.
Here’s a lovely custom I’ve never heard of anywhere else: a few notes of Brahm’s Lullaby every time a baby is delivered! My teenage son had scoliosis surgery in a Catholic hospital because a well-regarded surgeon had his practice there. Every so often (less than once an hour) a few notes would play very quietly over all the loudspeakers. With all the irritating noises in hospitals, and sadness and worries, it was very sweet to hear those little bells now and then with happy news. (Just mentioning it was a Catholic hospital because the nurse told me that it was due to the Catholic values about family that they celebrated new life so publicly. Obviously plenty of other people do too!)
Outrageous_Cow8409@reddit
With my first yes! My mom, my dad, my sister, and my in-laws were all in the waiting room but they hadn't been there for hours. My husband called them when I was about to start pushing. My mom and sister had been there for hours though.
My second was born in 2024 and after Covid our birthing hospital had changed the rules and didn't let people hang out in the waiting room. And you only got one support person to come back to your room with me so we didn't have anyone there for her birth.
Zippered_Nana@reddit
It’s unusual. Hospitals have gotten pretty strict about who is where when. Extra people just get in the way, bring germs, make noise, cause security issues since we are a stupid country that lets any old person carry a gun around.
On TV women don’t labor for 30 hours and have emergency C sections, or babies who need emergency treatment, or stuff like that, actual medical stuff.
boilerbitch@reddit
my aunt loves to tell the story of sleeping on a waiting room couch waiting for me to arrive
CyanCitrine@reddit
Sometimes, and I think it's cultural. my family never did this but my husband's family did. He for example was in the hospital on Christmas Eve with everyone else waiting for his cousin to have her baby. His cousin! On Christmas Eve! And it wasn't even a cousin he LIKED.
I wouldn't be in the hospital on Christmas Eve waiting for my favorite sibling to have a baby. I'll see that baby when it's out.
IntentionAromatic523@reddit
To me, birth is absolutely gross. I couldn’t imagine letting people see me in that condition let alone in delivery! I was embarrassed my husband was in there.
Certain-Monitor5304@reddit
It absolutely is, especially if you vomit, poop and pee while pushing.
IntentionAromatic523@reddit
Yes!!!! It’s just horrible! I delivered twins that were 8 lbs each. The delivery was horrible!!!
tcrhs@reddit
Usually only closest family and friends wait in the waiting room.
martlet1@reddit
Still happens.
sparkledotcom@reddit
IME people are only in the waiting room if something bad is happening and the doctor has to kick everyone out of the patient’s room.
Salmoninthewell@reddit
Oh, yes, before Covid, it definitely happened, especially for first time parents and young parents.
One time I admitted a mom for an induction and she had something like 10 people with her, half of them under the age of 13 (not her own kids). I looked around and was like, “Uh, this could take 48-72 hours, so you all might want to go home and get some sleep.”
CherryCool000@reddit
Oh my god this would stress me out so much. It’s not common at all where I live, even before Covid most women only had their partner and maaaybe their mom. Sometimes relatives would visit the hospital after the baby was born but that stopped during Covid and now most people just wait until the baby is at home.
clap_yo_hands@reddit
100% in my experience. When my sister, cousins and niece had their babies the whole family arrived at the hospital to await the arrival while they were actively in labor and we got to see and hold the baby almost immediately afterwards. When I had my first child in 2018 my family came and hung out in the hospital and held the baby and brought gifts. After covid the hospitals started limiting to one “support person” even when I had my second child in 2024 I could only have one support person with me in l&d. It’s a different world.
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
One support person would have been so tough for me. My husband is great but sometimes I want to punch him in the face. These are times I turn to my mom, until I need to squeeze somebody's hand really hard. I'd have cried the whole time.
Salmoninthewell@reddit
Yeah, we used to have an unlimited visitors policy (except the OR of course), and after Covid kept it at a 2-person max.
Now I’ll see people have 6-8 people out in the waiting room and they just cycle in and out of the labor room like they’re working shifts.
ninja_9@reddit
I'm starting to think I got really lucky with my induction. We arrived at the hospital around 8am and baby was born at 10:33 pm that night.
Salmoninthewell@reddit
Yeah, that is pretty quick if it was your first labor!
ninja_9@reddit
Yep, the first and only. One time was enough for me 😂
diversalarums@reddit
My friend was like that. First kid, an hour and 45 minutes. Second kid, 45 minutes. Third pregnancy, her OB told her he wanted her to camp in front of the hospital entrance for at least the last 4 weeks of her pregnancy, lol.
Better-Delay@reddit
I know we did. The first, wife's water broke at 130, baby delivered by 330. The second had her due date appointment, and the doc goes "no contractions? Let's check dilation anywany....and we're rolling you to the delivery room" 15 minutes later second was here.
DruncleMuncle@reddit
Depends on the family. When my wife & I had kids, we would let people know we were going into labor, but requested no one arrive until we notified them.
Great-Ad-632@reddit
Reading this as a Brit… honestly makes me sick to think of having that many people waiting for me to give birth. Could not think of anything worse
Cavecity-outlaw@reddit
This happens with every single birth in my family. Extended family is in the waiting room for the entire process.
What’s the cultural expectation in the UK?
PvtDipwad@reddit
In my family we just text when it seems like baby is about to come. That way people don't spend hours at the hospital and when they get there it's usually straight to meeting baby.
ketamineburner@reddit
Yes, this is my experience as a mother and a friend.
Where do people wait in the UK if not a waiting room?
Paxos100@reddit (OP)
They don’t wait anywhere; they would just be at home oblivious. You just go in to have the baby on your own (with your one birth partner), then afterwards you ring everyone to say baby has arrived. They would then arrange to come meet them over the next few days depending on how close they are to you
ketamineburner@reddit
That is interesting. I haven't had a baby since social media became prevalent, but I imagine its even easier now to gather everyone.
To clarify, all these people aren't in the delivery room, just the waiting room.
urfriendflicka@reddit
When my sister had her baby, she was induced and knew it would take a long time. My parents and I hung out with her to keep her company and popped into the waiting room when she needed space. Her husband was also there.
I get anxious in small rooms that are crowded, so when I had my daughter 11 days later, just my parents came and my father popped in and out as needed. When I ended up having a c- section, my mother came in with me and my father waited in the waiting room. The rest of my family and friends waited to tickle in the next day. I'm pretty sure they coordinated so that there weren't too many there at once.
cara1888@reddit
A lot of families do. My family is one of them every time one of my cousins had a baby pretty much everyone went. That being said I thought it was too personal of a thing for everyone to show up. I never went and just waited to see the baby when they got home.
I don't have kids but if I ever do I don't want any visitors until after I'm home. That's why I never went because i personally don't want that and feel like it's an invasion of privacy. To me the idea of having people in and out while going through the pain active labor and then everyone going in to see me immediately after pushing a human out makes me uncomfortable. I would rather have it just be me and my partner no one else.
When my first cousin had her baby it never crossed my mind to go to the hospital when they told us she was in labor. I was genuinely shocked when I found out everyone went. Then when my other cousins had their babies I continued to wait to see them. I do it now so if I ever have a baby they can't be offended when I tell them I don't want anyone there. Because then if they do say anything I can tell them that I never liked the idea and gave them space out of respect for them and ask for the same respect back.
Dawner444@reddit
My family had been in the waiting room for my children’s birth, but only my husband and twin were with me during the birth. Same thing when my sister had her two, but we only went to the hospital after my brother’s son was delivered.
CartoonChibiBlogger@reddit
From what I saw in my birthing video, it wasn’t very chaotic like you would see in a medical drama. My mom couldn’t take anesthesia due to an allergic reaction, so it was painful for her but the only dramatic thing that happened was I did not cry for a while. The doctors had to remove something from my lungs and then I cried like a banshee.
BittenBeads@reddit
I guess it depends on what you're friends/family are like. When my older sister had her first child, there was a whole stream of people visiting her while she was in labour. You had to be 16 to go in though, unless you were immediate family.
When that sister's bestie went into labour at her own surprise baby shower, most of the party followed her to the hospital. So, yeah, come to think of it, pre-'rona you'd hang out at the hospital waiting for a baby to come out, and depending on how close you were to the mother, you'd go into the labour room to offer distraction and ice chips.
kmosiman@reddit
Mostly Hollywood outdated BS.
As a father of 2:
Child 1: pre Covid
Labor started, went to hospital, got sent home, got called back, drugs to make it speed up........lots of crap..........24 hours later......C section!.........they prep her. call me in. Cut her open, get baby out, sew back up, go to room, transfer rooms? IDK I'd been up for too long by then.
At some point later, it was OK for family to visit, but we had a say in it.
Child 2: Semi-during-COVID
Pregnant wife gets COVID, fuck you, she's ours now, monitoring, monitoring, 1 week later released.
Actual scheduled delivery date? Screw everyone else, that is not happening.
TV US childbirth: baby comes, in a nursery with other babies, big window, looks cute.
Actual US childbirth: your child NEVER leaves the room* and you don't have the TV type stuff.
*our second was a little premature and got sent to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) for a test. That is the ONLY time that one of our 2 children was out of our sight during the process. Old school US childbirth wasn't like that. They'd leave your baby in the nurse's care.
Bluemonogi@reddit
When I was in labor my husband and my parents were at the hospital most of the day with me.
A few family members stopped by briefly during the day but did not stay. Most family visited the day after the birth or when we went home.
Relevant-Emu5782@reddit
For me, no. I would not want my parents, or my in-laws, around me at such a personal time. Labor was 52 hours, and then I went home 24 hours after she was born. Family came to visit a few days later after we were settled.
SukunasStan@reddit
Post-covid, a lot of hospitals let you have only 1 to 2 support people in labor and delivery then more can visit once you've been transferred to the maternity ward.
lfxlPassionz@reddit
Often, yeah. My father (who was usually a horrible person) would even buy everyone pizza and bring it to the waiting room. He worked as a pizza delivery person and they let him buy it cheap.
Everyone would wait in the waiting room and the hospital would have a say in who gets to go in the room. Usually only certain types of relatives and only if the person giving birth is ok with them coming into the room.
Although it's less people nowadays than it would've been in the past.
Ok-Zebra8851@reddit
It used to be more like that, decades ago.
Brilliant_End_5459@reddit
When my eldest was born the waiting room really was a Friends type situation. Family and friends showed up and literally waited for the baby to be born. I was one of only two people laboring on the floor that day and the waiting room was full with people waiting for my daughter to make her appearance. After she was born everyone took turns coming to see us in the delivery room. I only realized later that the copious amounts of blood had not been cleaned up off the floor before they let people come see us. That may or may not have scarred some of the then preteens in our families. It was lovely to have so much love and support.
WhichWitch9402@reddit
the hospital I worked at did not have a waiting room. You might be able to wait in the lobby, but after 8 pm all visitors had to leave. There were no waiting rooms on units except ICU. Those patients could have one visitor at a time every hour for ten minutes around the clock.
frisky_husky@reddit
Usually just the dad. When I was born, my mom was in labor for 23 hours (which she has never let me forget, nor should she), so in between when my mom went into labor and when I was actually born, my maternal grandparents had (with no particular haste) driven up from where they lived a few hours away.
When my younger sister was born, she was only in labor for like 90 minutes. My other grandmother was 'on call' to drive my mom to the hospital because she was past due, it was less than a week after 9/11, and my dad was working 14-hour days from a literal bunker, since he was part of the committee coordinating disaster response in New York. This meant that he was also almost entirely unreachable. He found out about the birth of his second child VIA EMAIL from my uncle (who was a doctor in a different unit of the hospital), because there was no cell service in the bunker and outside calls were being filtered. My mom and the midwife were alone in the delivery room, while my grandmother and uncle were in his office frantically trying to contact my dad by any means possible.
kayakkkkk@reddit
Yes. The whole family comes.
juniperwool@reddit
It depends off the woman-delivering-the-baby's preference. I only had my husband there the entire time, but I'm a more private person.
Western_Nebula9624@reddit
I hady last baby 18 years ago and no one even suggested that anyone would wait in the waiting room. I'm positive that there was a waiting room near L&D but I never saw anyone there.
TrainingLow9079@reddit
Labors in real life often take longer than the ones on TV
tn00bz@reddit
The father's usually do, sometimes friends and family do. My mother-in-law was in the room with us while the baby was born. My parents and father-in-law stayed outside.
English1412@reddit
I need make friends of american and kingdom united too Australian .😅
shaitanthegreat@reddit
Often. Except Coneheads. That one’s a little fiction.
JulesInIllinois@reddit
Yes. They usually only let one or two ppl (guests) in the hospital room. So, the family ends up stuck in the hall and waiting areas of the hospital. I took the kids out for cake & ice cream when my sister was delivering. We came back the following morning because it took so long.
Most families are smart enough to wait until the baby is actually born and the mom has had a bit of rest.
pastrymom@reddit
Yes. My in laws and parents waited in the waiting room when they prepped me for surgery.
The whole time I was in labor, I had to listen to my mother in law say she didn’t want my brother in law to miss it…. Like I had any control or I wanted him in there.
And yes, I’m from the US with white redneck in laws.
maybecaturday@reddit
No one was allowed to visit us at the hospital except my sister and her SO, because they brought me sushi and watched my house/dogs while we were there lol. Everyone else had to wait til we were home and had a chance to recover for a sec. I just wasn’t ready for people yet. I was awake for nearly 2.5 days straight by the time I delivered, and we didn’t utilize the nursery so I hardly slept again with trying to make sure she was breathing and trying to breastfeed.
In retrospect I wish I’d have sent her to the nursery just for a couple hours to sleep, or let a trusted family member come hang out with her for a bit (dad had never held a baby before ours, so he needed a lot of help in the beginning). I think that level of exhaustion is part of what kickstarted my low supply.
iheartwestwing@reddit
No
ShesGotaChicken2Ride@reddit
The mother gets to decide who is in the delivery room, up to a certain amount of people. Obviously you can’t have 10 family members in there plus doctors and nurses. If it’s a c-section I think only one person is allowed due to risk of infection and whatever else. In the waiting room, yes, people may arrive and wait. And yes, it’s pretty typical for grandparents (of baby) to arrive and wait, but not necessarily the whole family.
EMamaS@reddit
My mom was with us the entire L&D for my first child, and my husband's parents came to the hospital, probably like 7-8hrs before he was born? But all 3 of them were in the actual room with us, not in the waiting room, which is NOT typical, at least not the ILs. But I adore mine, and i'm much closer to my MIL than my own mom. i'd invited them to visit when my epidural had finally taken, and then once it stopped working and my labor went a little sideways, and just didn't really notice or care that they were there. They were respectful and stayed up by my head most of the time, except when they were helping run buckets of puke to the bathroom because I threw up most of my L&D. Plus, it was a teaching hospital, so there were a ton of people in there all the time anyway. My FIL still calls it a holy experience, lol.
But they were the only ones there, for either birth, anyone else waited until after the birth to come. My second was a planned c-section, so it was just me and spouse, but my mom (who was living with us at the time) and my ILs took my toddler out to breakfast and the park until we called after I was out of the recovery room. We had wanted our son to be the first one to meet his sister, and we didn't call anyone else until after that happened.
Theobroma1000@reddit
When my sister was in labor with the first grandchild on both sides, we all hung out at the hospital visiting and waiting. Great memory- my dad and I ran across the street to get Chicago Red Hots ( hot dogs) for everyone but my sister, who couldn't eat. My mom and dad, my sister's husband, his parents-- all eating hot dogs while my sister was in labor.
The nurse shooed us all out and told my sister "Any time you want, press the call button and I'll tell everyone to leave and give you some peace." She said no! I want everybody around!! So we all came back in with our hot dogs. 😁
That kid is forty now. Sheesh.
TipsyBaker_@reddit
We specifically didn't notify anyone because I didn't want his overbearing mother and sister trying to crash my labor.
Unfortunately we forgot his aunt worked in a different department and let them know I'd been admitted but baby was already born by then.
MakeStupidHurtAgain@reddit
Not usually. Usually just the other parent and maybe some soon to be proud grandparents. Also, absent any complications, you’re not usually admitted to the hospital until you’re well into contactions. Which obviously can still be hours, but…
Also, in most hospitals there are restrictions on the number and length of outside visits.
OceanPoet87@reddit
We went in for my wife's 38 or 39 week check up and they told her that because her vitals were high she would have to walk across the street to the hospital and be admitted. She ordered a hamburger or something for lunch after being admitted and soon after they wanted to induce her but then had to wait until the next morning as a result of lunch.
She had a c section the next day.
RedhotGuard21@reddit
With my first in 2016 that hospital had 5 guest passes per room. I had baby’s dad, my mom, my grandma and my brother all there. Was kicking everyone out for birth except dad and my mom. Thank goodness that one turned into a rushed C-section. Which for the first hour back in your room the only allowed 1 person
Second 2023 that hospital only allowed 2 support people but anyone could visit during visiting hours. My mom was so mad when I told her I wanted only my husband there. That one ended up a scheduled C-section
No-Fix-614@reddit
Not really, most hospitals limit who can be there and people aren’t camping out for days, movies just exaggerate it for drama and convenience.
PartyCat78@reddit
Most portrayals of medicine / hospitals are not very accurate.
Sharontoo@reddit
Here in my part of the US, a normal vaginal delivery happens in a spacious birthing room. The mom’s partner and maybe another friend or family member is there. Or not. Whatever she wants. She then goes into a regular hospital room on the ward with the baby for 1-2 nights.
Cant-think-of-a-nam@reddit
With me it was us and her mom. No one waited around and gave us our space for like a week
Maurice_Foot@reddit
I was a military medic, assisted in several births (US local military hospital, between wars). It’s very much routine procedures on the medical personnel side.
But then it was pretty easy to tell ahead of time if there were going to be a chance of difficult births. Those moms-to-be were sent over the to the local city hospital. Was nice having just healthy moms.
False-Cookie3379@reddit
In my experience, I really depends on how quiet and respectful your family is mixed with how cool the nurses are. With my oldest, there was around 8 people in the room, we were quiet and playing cards and not causing any issues. There was only supposed to be 2 people, but they didn’t mind. I guess it was a slow birthing day that day.
SabresBills69@reddit
labor is unpredictable in how long it takes.
if you have family in town and they are notified they could come and gather. your mothers likely will just for support in the post childbirth consulting
Special-Reindeer-178@reddit
Direct family and friends will come at admission, but most dont stay around. Husband or bf obviously will stay the entire time, and usually just sends a mass text to the direct family after it finally happens
Apprehensive-Ant2141@reddit
First babies typically take a lot longer to be delivered. I had my parents and my mother-in-law and grandmother mother-in-law at the hospital, but then everybody else came at the end after he was born.
Apprehensive-Ant2141@reddit
Stupid speech to text
FishingWorth3068@reddit
When I had my first my mom and mil were sitting at the picnic table outside. It was a scheduled c section so they only waited like an hour and a half
n00bdragon@reddit
When my daughter was born I spent almost 20 hours in the room. We did have close family members drop by for a few minutes to drop off food and necessities but they didn't hang around or anything. They did not remain at the hospital with us.
geekychica@reddit
When I had my first (pre-covid), both sets of new grandparents came and waited in the hospital. We went in at about midnight, and didn’t call them until morning so they wouldn’t be driving on no sleep.
Crafty_String_954@reddit
Yes I've always find that word in American films. Here's in Ireland is mostly just the father or a birthing partner. Likely they won't tell anyone till after the birth
mwcdem@reddit
I (40F) don’t know anyone who’s ever done that. At the hospital where I gave birth, the ward is locked and only patients and birthing partners can go in. So you can wait at the hospital but it’ll be downstairs in a small lobby, nowhere near where the birth is happening, and no one is popping out to give updates. No nurseries to look at rows of babies anymore, either!
ionmoon@reddit
Well. Back in the 80s and 90s it happened. Not for everyone but it was common enough.
After Covid not at all.
SkyBerry924@reddit
My grandparents got to the hospital before my mom so when she was in labor with me lol
maggy_boi_x@reddit
When my sister went into labor, I was at work on a night shift and was instructed by my mother to stay at work and get some sleep, then to call her when I was awake the following day, so while my sister was in labor, yes, my brother in law and mother were with her all night. She gave birth to my niece, who will turn 4 this summer. My first words to my niece were "Hello there, you must be Winter. I'm your Uncle Trey, it's nice to finally put a face to the name!"
Dave_A480@reddit
Before the norm was for dad to be in the room with mom, that's how it was.
Now, both parents are typically in the room... Any older siblings (unless we are talking teens) are left with a sitter or a relative (do not want 2-6yo kids running loose in the delivery area)....
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
When my sister had her third, her toddler twins and my preschooler son hung out until their bedtime. They were told the baby couldn't come until they went to sleep. They were like "oh ok, santa type activities" and went home without a fuss.
Dave_A480@reddit
We left our first with the family who normally watched him while my wife worked....
For our third (wife was no longer working) we left the first two with a family from her church...
We are now done.
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
Three sounds like a perfect number. Hope everybody's well!
OrcaFins@reddit
Remember: tv shows and movies do things for the story or to be funny.
mckenzie_keith@reddit
Usually they tell you to come to the hospital when your water breaks. The duration of labor varies quite a bit. But labor does not last for days. They would do a C-section at some point.
The mother may stay in the hospital for a few nights after giving birth. It depends on the health of the mother and the baby.
Some people give birth at home and don't even go to the hospital.
Salmoninthewell@reddit
Oh, no, some people are “laboring” for days. Especially inductions, first-time moms, someone whose membranes rupture too early, and people that refuse a c-section. Once had a patient whose water was broken for 52 hours before she finally agreed to a section.
mckenzie_keith@reddit
OK, so sometimes it does last for more than 24 hours. But it sounds like, based on your experience at least, 54 hours is unusually long. So could we say most of the time it does not last long enough to be called "days?"
Salmoninthewell@reddit
That’s just 52 hours after the water broke. Not 54 hours from admission.
mckenzie_keith@reddit
I thought the standard advice in a healthy pregnancy was to stay at home until water breaks, then go to the hospital. No?
Salmoninthewell@reddit
Not if there is an indication for an induction. And many of the OBs I work with cite the ARRIVE trial in recommending elective induction at 39 weeks.
Any-Concentrate-1922@reddit
It depends on the family.
My sister told everyone except her husband to stay away until they called (after the baby was born).
Grouchy-Stand-4570@reddit
Depends on what you want and the hospital. For me it was the doctors and nurses and my husband. No one else
Brighter_Days_Ahead4@reddit
No this is TV/movie nonsense.
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
It makes sense for tv, so you can show characters talking, but I absolutely had lots of family with me. Someone said their folks were tailgating, someone else said their extended family had a party at home while they waited for news. You could make a Friends episode from any of those scenarios.
CoffeeChocolateBoth@reddit
I had planned C-section. We told no one! After my surgery, my then-husband called family and friends. They came around the next day.
CoffeeChocolateBoth@reddit
Every woman and her birthing experience is different. I've never known whole families and friends though to sit in the waiting room waiting for the birth! I sat with my sister in law, her husband couldn't be bothered with any of their childrens birth. He is still a dick!
RowdySpirit@reddit
We have one friend who wanted everyone there. She went into labor around 2am and we all trudged to the hospital and sat for over 12 hours just waiting. Her birth partner came out every hour or so to update us. It was exhausting. Luckily, her other pregnancies went faster. But the experience made me decide I didn't want anyone in the waiting room when I was in labor. I didn't want my husband having to divide his time between me and the family in the waiting room.
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
When my son was born, my whole family visited thru the day. They didn't plan to wait until the birth. The waiting room isn't all that comfortable, and you could only have 5 people in the room at a time. So people rotated in and out. And everybody got mad at me for having the baby at 4pm, right when they were leaving work. Right after birth is the worst time to visit. Anybody who didn't come the morning before came the morning after. I was discharged in 48 hours.
IntentionAromatic523@reddit
Absolutely not.
rangeghost@reddit
Sometimes?
Like, when my brother had his first kid, I went with my parents and waited with them at the hospital.
I didn't technically need to be there, but still went in support.
evaj95@reddit
Pretty much. I was about 4 when my cousin was born and I remember waiting allll day in the hospital for him to be born.
MissMarionMac@reddit
When I was born, it was only my dad with my mom in the hospital. I have two older sisters, who were 10 and 13 when I was born, and my parents had arranged beforehand for family friends who had kids that my sisters were also friends with to come and pick up my sisters and take them to their house to stay while my parents were at the hospital. I was born at 9:50pm, and my dad called the friends' house (landline, '90s-style!) to tell my sisters that they had a baby sister. (My parents didn't want to know in advance if I was a boy or girl.) And then my sisters got to have a sleepover with their friends!
And the next day, my dad went and picked up my sisters from the friends' house and brought them to the hospital to meet me.
I know my parents would have called my grandparents and aunts and uncles and friends and everything, but I don't know if they did that right away or the next morning. My Grandma (my dad's mother), who I'm named after, lived about a 4 hour drive away at the time, and she came to stay with us once I'd been born. She's there in all the photos of me being brought home from the hospital and into the house for the first time.
My oldest sister had her son when I was 15 (she was 29; it was fine; this is what happens when there's more than a decade age gap between siblings). She had a homebirth, on purpose. (At the time, she and her then-husband lived within a mile of a top-rated hospital with elite maternity and NICU departments. She said she never would have chosen to have a homebirth if they were further away from such a good hospital. Yes, she's crunchy, but she's not insane. That baby got all his vaccines on schedule.)
She wanted to have our mom with her. She also had a midwife.
Her water broke on a Wednesday, but she wasn't having contractions yet. She didn't start having contractions for another day. And through all of this, I was going to school and to choir rehearsal and walking the dog and doing my homework. It was surreal.
I had to leave the house by 6:50am to catch my bus to school.
On Friday morning, two full days after her water broke, I was getting ready for school. It was just me and my dad in the house (and the dog) because my mom was with my sister.
I was resigning myself to heading off to another day of school without knowing anything. I was dressed and was double-checking my backpack, getting ready to head downstairs to put on my shoes and my coat and go out to the bus stop.
And then the phone rang. And my dad and I looked at each other, and neither of us said anything, but I could tell we were both thinking, ok this is it.
I don't even remember which one of us answered the phone, but someone did, and it was my mom telling us that the baby had been born about two minutes earlier, and it was a boy. I immediately started crying. I could hear him crying in the background. They didn't find out beforehand whether it was a boy or girl, but they had told us what names they were planning to use for each. So as soon as I heard it was a boy, I started saying "hi [name]!!" over and over.
And then I had to go out to the bus stop and go to school like it was a normal fucking day!!!
My sister and her then-husband lived about a ten minute walk from my school, so after school I didn't get on the bus to go home, I walked to their apartment (in the pouring rain). I stopped at a little shop on the way and bought my sister a bunch of gourmet chocolate bars.
And then I met my baby nephew!!
Anyway, that kid is 18 now.
gsxr@reddit
Yes. Depends on the family/friends and culture. When my wife and I had our two kids, there was a 12 hour period where we had 15-20 people in the waiting room. I was shuffling news out to them as I could.
We had a family member that was giving birth, her first. And the parking lot had 20-30 people with coolers just waiting. Security from the hospital came over and gave us a pretty big WTF?!? we explained it, offered them a drink, and they left us alone.
DryRecommendation795@reddit
Yeah, depends on the family and also, maybe generational or regional? In my family, labor and delivery is a pretty personal event, and only the pregnant woman and her husband are there at the hospital with the nurses and docs. The rest of the fam may visit the hospital after the baby is born, or wait until the mom/dad/baby are home and ready for visitors. I understand the current trend is for parents and in-laws and siblings to attend labor & delivery, and that sounds horrible to me! I guess I’m just old school.
shelwood46@reddit
Yeah, my family never had the tradition of going to the hospital, I was gobsmacked to find out that was real. I was born in 1965, at 5am, my mother barely made it to a delivery room (I believe those were the days when the dad sat in the waiting room, although it was after the time when women were routinely knocked out during delievery). They called relatives, but no one came to see me till they were back home days later.
Rheumatitude@reddit
I appreciate a family that tailgates in honor of the next generation. My family would do that but at home. Like, one relative goes into labor and a massive party breaks out at their home, or the grandparents home.
gsxr@reddit
There was a separate party for when the baby came home. And there are parties not at the hospital.
DeLaRey@reddit
Pre covid, that was much more common. Now, at least in the hospital where my kids were born, you’re restricted to two visitors at a time. The nurse told me the waiting room looked like a night club it was so packed and they were old have security problems at the end of vi sad citing hours every night.
Phoenix_Court@reddit
It's becoming less common, probably due to COVID (but I'm just assuming), but yes it does happen. It's usually only immediate family though. When my neice was born my parents and my siblings all sat in the waiting room and then after she arrived we took turns going back to visit for a couple minutes.
Salmoninthewell@reddit
It can take days during an induction.
Phoenix_Court@reddit
Yes? That's why I specified that you don't wait at the hospital for days, you wait until it's crunch time and go in then. You may wait a few hours, but if it doesn't yet look like "it's going to be today" you don't leave for the hospital yet.
Salmoninthewell@reddit
Oh, you meant the visitors don’t wait for days. Well, in my experience, they often do. Many people don’t know how long it can take and are so worried about missing something important that they sit around through the long boring part too.
Phoenix_Court@reddit
Oh gosh! I could never. Like, I totally get the sentiment but unless it was, I don't even know, my daughter???, giving birth - I'm waiting at home. I need to sleep in my own bed. Call me when she's 6cm or something lol.
Secret_Word4108@reddit
Thats how it happened for my parents generation (they're now in their late fifties). For my generation, no. But we're having covid and post covid babies. Idk if that affects it, or just am overall culture change (boundaries with grandparents and aunts and uncles are in right now).
nomadschomad@reddit
It happens, but I wouldn't say it's typical. Much more normal is for 1-2 people (e.g. husband and mom of the person giving birth) to be in the L&D room or waiting area and other family members to visit several-to-48 hours after birth, in the recovery/PPD room, not the actual L&D room.
The big crowds in the waiting room tend to happen when new mom&dad aren't communicating clearly to family. Some family members hear "She's having the baby" and just head to the hospital. That's much different than dad-to-be saying "Might be in labor. No need to come to hospital. We'll let you know if there are big updates and when we'll be ready for visitors." Related: some families simply don't have boundaries.
North_Artichoke_6721@reddit
I had my husband and both my parents in the room with me. My brother, his wife, and my close friend came to the hospital later that night to visit and see the baby.
Imaginary_Ladder_917@reddit
I have three children and only ever had my husband there. Everyone else knew to wait until they got a phone call. There was no way I wanted everybody around. I have a decent relationship with my parents, but I just didn’t think they needed to be there, and my mother-in-law isn’t the type to intrude.
amyloudspeakers@reddit
In my and close friends experience they won’t even let you in at the hospital unless your contractions are super close. They don’t want you laboring for hours there either. There’s also a limit to how many visitors you get, especially since Covid.
Nancy6651@reddit
This happened with our first grandchild, and we even drove our daughter to the hospital since son-in-law wasn't home yet, and met us at the hospital.
When our second grandchild came, we had our first grandchild, as well as daughter's 2 dogs at our house. We had to wait until the next day to take our grandson to see his mom, dad, and new sister. When daughter was released with her child, we were asked to bring our grandson home, but keep the dogs for a while.
_Internet_Hugs_@reddit
The hospital where I had my youngest had just remodeled to make the waiting room less comfortable. They discourage people from camping out. You were allowed two people to be with you during delivery (this was changed to one during Covid) and then they asked that you tell any other visitors to wait at home while you were delivering. When I asked why the nurse told me there'd been an incident where two families got in a fight.
Great_Chipmunk4357@reddit
So you saw an episode on friends and think that’s typical American life? Do you think Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow are typical American girls? Do you think there are bars in New York with big sofas in them that only the cast members sit on?
Serious-Mongoose-387@reddit
when my wife was in labor i was the only one there. i don’t think it even occurred to us to tell anyone else we were at the hospital.
Pear_tickle@reddit
I had a rough pregnancy and spent way too many times sitting in the l&d for complications. There were always huge families doing marathon waits. It was my worst nightmare. I couldn’t imagine the pressure on a woman knowing all those people are out there waiting, bored, and tired.
Glad-Isopod5718@reddit
When my sister had her first (who is now in their first year of university), a bunch of us came: me, our dad, her husband's parents and sibling (and I think sibling's spouse?), and we were there in the waiting room for hours. They had a little room just for the labor and delivery area; it was our group and one other.
Sister's husband (the father) was in the room with her the whole time as the main support person, and his mother/her mother-in-law was also in there most of the time as the backup support person. (There were various reason she chose her MIL over our actual mother, which are not important for this topic.)
During lulls in the proceedings, the rest of us could go in and visit her for a few minutes, one at a time. Once the baby was born, they had to take her (the baby) from the delivery room to somewhere else for checks, and on the way back, when she was all cleaned up and swaddled, they came by the waiting room with her in the little cart, and paused so we could all have a look.
The other two, the rest of us stayed home until my sister was settled in a regular room and ready for visitors.
So yes, it happens, and hospitals are prepared for a mother in labor to come with a whole entourage, but it's not universal.
inbigtreble30@reddit
I was with my sister when her son was born, but that was an unusual situation for our family.
ChainWise6768@reddit
Something that is pretty distinct for Americans is that we expect our births to happen according to a schedule. Pregnant women will often schedule the day of birth way in advance and use medicine to delay or rush the birth as needed. My daughter started arriving right around midnight, so we called the hospital and told them we wanted to come in and they said "oh, your doctor doesn't get here until 8:00 so you have plenty of time." Once the mom was dilated to the point where we had to go in, they slowed the delivery so that it would still happen at 9:00 as scheduled.
One thing that is TV fiction, though, is that nobody is allowed in the delivery room except the parents. Also, as far as I know we don't have nurseries anymore - the baby stays with the mother.
panicnarwhal@reddit
i had my oldest pre covid, and there were so many friends and family members on the waiting room of the hospital - and while i was in labor, the people in the room with me cycled between my boyfriend, my sister, my boyfriend’s mom, and some friends
that hospital didn’t have too many rules around the labor/delivery room, because i was in many delivery rooms there pre covid. it’s probably not as lax now, but idk because no one i know has delivered in that hospital for a few years - they’ve gone to different hospitals, and i had my other babies at home, so the experience is obviously different with that.
Great_Chipmunk4357@reddit
Yes. Absolutely everything you see in American movies and TV is absolutely accurate. They don’t even use actors. They just film scenes from everyday life.
Just like in the English series “Midsomer Murders,” I devoutly believe that the typical English village has several murders a year, and very brutal ones at that. Every vicar in the Church of England is a raving religious fanatic, and every married man and woman is having an extra-marital affair.
JennyPaints@reddit
Depends on the family and the subculture of the family. When I had mine, my husband was in the delivery room with me. Mom brought him lunch, but didn’t stay at the hospital. No one waited in the lobby. We called my parents after the babies were born and we were settled in our room. Then my parents visited ( in the case of our second child they brought our daughter who they had kept for us) and brought pizza. If my husband’s parents had lived closer, they would have come then too. Instead they flew in a couple days later.
I’m in the mountain west, and I would call this normal, except that some Hispanic families have the pattern you described, and some mostly new age white families invite the whole extended family into the delivery room. Our family and most of the people I know don’t do either of those things. But I’m sure they happen.
The hospitals let the mother decide who visits and when. The doctor may limit the number of people in the delivery room.
gunterrae@reddit
When my daughter was born in 1994, my mom and my sister came while I was laboring, and my father in law was there for a little while. But they were in the room with us (we were fine with it, they would leave when it got time to push) but as far as people just sitting around in the waiting room? I have never done that, and no one did that when I was pregnant.
Ok-Concert-6475@reddit
When my daughter was born 18 years ago, my husband was in the delivery room and my mom was in the waiting room.
Always_Reading_1990@reddit
Yeah, some families are like this for sure. It is probably less common now after COVID though.
Flolita115@reddit
Yes, I texted my mom wen I went into labor at 4am thinking she’d see it wen she got up later as a nice surprise and she was at the hospital even before I got there
HermioneMarch@reddit
Only my husband went to the hospital with me. The grandparents arrived after the baby was born. I did not need a crowd in there.
These-Ad5332@reddit
Just did this in February. Got the call at 4am, drove 2 hours to the hospital. Waited with 5 other people (all immediate family) for 10 more hours. We watched movies, got lunch in the cafeteria, etc.
I also plan to fly out a few weeks before my best friend has her baby so I can be there for her too.
EngineeringRegret@reddit
I assume it still happens occasionally.
I had my first baby a little over a week ago. I had an epidural + pitocin, so my husband and I were kinda just chilling while my body did it's thing. I commented to him how silly waiting in the waiting room seemed to me, but perhaps made more sense pre-cell phones.
Later in the evening, my husband called our parents to let them know that the baby would likely be born in the very late evening or early the next morning, so don't wait up. That's when my dad told us that he'd been in the waiting room for an hour just watching a softball game but hadn't told us since he didn't want to pressure us. We went ahead and invited him to come chat with us, and he stepped out for anything that would expose me. He went back to the waiting room for the hour I pushed, came back to congratulate me, then went home because it was after midnight.
My mom passed 2 years ago, so it was sweet of him to just show up.
dgmilo8085@reddit
Let me preface that I am an idiot. But for my son's birth, we had family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters) all in the waiting room, and I had multiple friends come as well. My wife's labor lasted 26 hours, so she was "thrilled" that we had so many people hanging out playing card games and drinking while she was in labor.
PacSan300@reddit
Nope, not in my experience. For the two experiences I remember the most, they only allowed very few family members during the delivery.
When my sister was born, they only allowed my maternal grandparents in the room to accompany my mom, while my dad and I waited in the waiting room for many hours, although we were allowed to visit at times. My mom made this arrangement.
When my daughter was born, Covid was still very ongoing, and restrictions were strictly in place. Only me and my wife’s mom were allowed in, and no one else at any other time during the delivery.
Bake_knit_plant@reddit
My daughter, in 2005, gave birth to my grandson. He was a miracle baby because she had already had one baby that lived only 34 hours and then had numerous numerous miscarriages to the point where basically she was pregnant for near a decade. She was also a VBAC so that added some worries.
They induced her, and we basically had a family reunion at the hospital. She was in a birthing suite, and there was nobody else on that end of the hospital, so we got away with a little more than normally. I believe the total people that were at that hospital in the day and a half that she labored was 28.
I know that when she gave birth I was at the bed with her on one side and her husband on the other, along with my 14-year-old niece and my daughter's MIL.
At the other end of The suite -( it was kind of an L shape) the baby's godfather and godmother were there, her father-in-law, (who was a deacon in their Church and, if all went badly again, would be able to baptize the baby right there) two aunts, four uncles, my mother, who just brought her new guy to meet the family. We are in Ohio and he met her working in Yellowstone, and the timing was that that was the weekend they came home.
It was a great time for everybody to hang out. I doubt seriously there was any time at all that there weren't at least 10 people in the birthing suite. But like I said, she was an extreme case and the hospital and her midwife, the OBGYN and her doula pretty much gave her anything she wanted!
gutclutterminor@reddit
8 kids born between me and my 2 sisters. The father was in the delivery room. No other family present until after the baby was born. That's the only factual experience I have. Friends is not indicative of any American reality.
sparkbooking@reddit
Over 20 years ago when my sister gave birth to my niece yeah. We hung out in the waiting room wandered the hospital halls, went to the cafeteria and hung out in her room while we waited for her to deliver. Once the baby was delivered we all got to look at her hug my sister then bounced. So Hours before maybe 30 minutes after.
This would have been in the late 90’s early 2000’s. No idea what it’s like now. Probably not like it was.
jvc1011@reddit
I think you’ve gotten a lot of answers, but I’ll just add that midwives are pretty rare here. I know someone who qualified and just couldn’t get any patients. I also know two women who gave birth with a midwife, but only one got a CNM (licensed midwife). Insurance varies wildly as to the circumstances under which they will pay for one, and only a few hospitals and birth centers employ any.
I wish they were more common.
figsslave@reddit
My wife would have killed me if anyone was there but me 😂
InannasPocket@reddit
Well I deliberately didn't tell any family other than my husband I was in labor to prevent this (though actually both my MIL and mom figured it out, as my waters broke at a family Christmas party ... tried to keep quiet about it and all the men were clueless but the women knew lol).
I don't think it's super common but it does happen - though some hospitals restrict it. I think more common these days is people having to field 8 million texts about the progress if they tell everyone!
rawbface@reddit
We had this Pandemic thing a while back that changed everything... Maybe you remember it?
I had kids before and after 2020, and the experience was WAY different in each case.
Donald_J_Duck65@reddit
I dont know of anyone that has done this or had this done. You cant believe sitcoms
Mysterious_Luck4674@reddit
I’ve never known anyone to wait at the hospital while someone else’s child is born. Everyone I know that has had a baby has only had themself and their co-parent at the hospital for the delivery, and called people to give them the news after. I have definitely visited people in the hospital later that day or the next day, when mom is feeling ok and everyone is cleaned up a bit and rested. But I don’t know anyone who has ever been in the waiting room while the mom is in labor.
Gordita_Chele@reddit
None of my friends had family in the waiting room while laboring, before or after COVID. Anyone they wanted in the delivery room with them would be in the room (usually just a partner and sometimes a doula, a couple had their mom or sister in the delivery room too). Anyone they wanted to see the baby after it was born would be told when they could come by after the birth. My first was a midwife-assisted home birth. I had planned for just my husband to be in the room with me while my parents waited in other parts of the house, but at the last minute, I didn’t really care and told my parents they could come in the room during the delivery as long as they stayed out of the way and didn’t say anything. My second was born in a hospital during the height of the pandemic, so only my husband was allowed. No visitors at all. I’m a little sad big brother wasn’t allowed to come meet her at the hospital after she was born. I just feel like that would have been a special moment. But it is what it is.
MaverickLurker@reddit
American father of 2 here - this is very common. Close family members will be in touch with the expecting mother throughout her labor. Oftentimes husband is there with the expecting mother texting family members updates. Hospitals now recommend that expecting mothers begin the labor process at home, and tell them to travel to the hospital when contractions are a certain distance apart. That way, when they arrive at the hospital, they know that the baby is close to being born.
Especially for the first baby, the expecting grandparents will likely be waiting to meet the baby. My in-laws were at the hospital at 3:00 a.m. to greet my first kiddo. My parents left at midnight and came back first thing the next morning. It's not uncommon for siblings of the mother to be there as well to meet their niece or nephew. Close friends may also be in the loop.
ApprehensiveHead1571@reddit
For god sakes. Nothing on tv sitcoms is based on reality. They are entertainment! This is the reason Trump got elected. Americans don’t know the difference between make believe tv shows and the real world! Btw America- The Apprentice was not real.
clearliquidclearjar@reddit
Depends on your family. I'm from a large family and we'll have the whole gang out waiting through the entire labor at the hospital or home - wherever the birth is happening. Common in certain cultures, be it certain ethnic backgrounds or US subcultures (hippies practically tailgate for births). I've done it for both family and friends, when that was appropriate. Did you know you can get pizza delievered to a hospital parking garage?
as1126@reddit
I just became a grandfather and I can assure that I did nothing but wait in the hospital all day for the baby to arrive. 10/10 would recommend grand-parenting.
NeonPlutonium@reddit
Yes. We waited at the hospital for the birth of our first grandchild…
cybertruckboat@reddit
My aunt had her two children, her sister, and her husband in the room.
It's up to the mom and the location. It varies.
Inside_Ad9026@reddit
Not for any birth in my family. Or any friends of mine that I know. Even before Covid. I was about to say that it was just for TV but apparently a LOT of people did this. Which is totally surprising to me.
Bottdavid@reddit
Not for my wife and I. We gave specific instructions to our families to NOT be there right at delivery but at least wait until we gave the ok. I want to say it was about 24 hours after she gave birth before the first family members were meeting our daughter and seeing my wife and I.
Genepoolperfect@reddit
I had to keep my labor a secret from everyone to prevent them from showing up at the hospital. Damn good thing I did too. I labored for 32hrs. 0 stars. Do not recommend. (2nd kid I labored for 10. Much better experience.)
DigitalMonsoon@reddit
My wife is an OB/GYN here so I can provide some insight.
Generally there is a waiting area for extended family to hangout in while the partner, or whomever the mother wants, is back in the labor rooms with her. Yes some people stay for the entire labor course but it can take a long time, especially for first time mothers so usually the family shows up when the mother first goes into labor and then come back a few hours later when the baby is born.
From my understanding the UK wards are pretty barebones compared to the delivery suites most US hospitals use. We have large private labor rooms with pullout couches or chairs, and full bathroom often with a shower. We usually actively encourage the partner to stay with the wife during labor and recovery.
The waiting room scenes you see on sitcoms like Friends is largely a Hollywood trope used to keep the cast in one place for the plot, though it does occasionally happen in real life, especially with families who have traveled long distances and have nowhere else to wait.
westo4@reddit
I think it's totally a cultural thing. People of different backgrounds have different traditions.
kae0603@reddit
My family did that for me!! It was wonderful!!! For my first, My MIL and her sister drove through the night, 8 hours, to see us! She didn’t arrive until after the birth but they came! And yes stayed at our apartment with us for a week! So helpful!!! She took care of me while I took care of the baby. She helped me learn how to cut those tiny finger nails! For all 3 of my kids I had family there waiting and visiting with me when I wanted company. For my 3rd my 5 year old drew me a picture of a horse giving birth. It’s in her baby book! Having family around was fantastic! They were not all in delivery. Just my husband and my sister.
Background-Cod-7035@reddit
Like absolutely everything in America, it’s random. See other tv and movies and you’ll see family coming later. In AskAnAmerican people think our media is representative, but only watch a portion of our media. And most of our media is made by rich white people whereas a huge percentage of us aren’t white.
Shoddy-Secretary-712@reddit
When my SIL had my nephew, there were a bunch of people there. I went after worked, but she was close. I wasn't there all day.
When I had my daughter, my husband, mom, MIL were there the whole time. SIL visited before baby was born, on her way to work. I had family that wanted to be waiting, like my grandma, but was told not to, she didn't completely listen and came to the hospital after baby was born.
ecce_hobo@reddit
My mom waited at my house, otherwise she would’ve been sitting in the waiting room for like 20 hours
RikkiLostMyNumber@reddit
Our first child was delivered by scheduled c-section so yes, there were probably a dozen people waiting for him to show up. Fortunately, they liked him.
oswin13@reddit
Not where I live, between security and the price of parking!
shammy_dammy@reddit
Before COVID, yes. I had people in the waiting room pretty much the whole time. I know my mother in law left for three hours to go teach her morning courses and then came back.
CleverGirlRawr@reddit
When my mom had my brother a lot of us were in the waiting room! When I had my first they weren’t there but came to the hospital when she was born (my mom and my grandma were in the delivery room though).
No-Butterscotch-8469@reddit
I gave birth this year and my hospital did not have a waiting room. The only place visitors could hang out was the cafeteria. None of the women giving birth had any guests until they were transferred to the recovery room and visitor hours there were limited.
BananaMapleIceCream@reddit
It was just my husband and I. I absolutely didn’t want my in-laws hanging around while I was delivering.
ChapStick_Hoe@reddit
I had both my kids pre covid and absolutely didn't have this experience. My mom was pretty much like "text me when he's born and I'll come say hi." lol I would never imagine asking or wanting a large group of people waiting around for me to give birth. It was just my husband and me and then we called family after. Both our parents and one of my siblings came to visit at the hospital and more came to our home later.
Alarming_Bar7107@reddit
Sometimes. There were a lot of random extended family members in the waiting room when I was in labor. I've always thought it's odd. Why not wait at home?
Master_Structure3870@reddit
This happened for my brother’s birth! Only my dad and aunt could be with my mom in the delivery room but full extended family was in the waiting room for hours. (But probably not the entire length of the labor)
shwh1963@reddit
No one I know had any family waiting in the hospital.
kcasper@reddit
Depends on the family. Hospitals are setup for the family to wait far away from the delivery room. It usually doesn't happen. Most people have lives, share the good news over texting, etc. It is more normal for people to stop in to see the baby for a few minutes.
minidog8@reddit
It really depends on the family. For example, my coworker’s sister was giving birth and their parents were therebexuase they dont work, but my coworker had work so they didnt go to the hospital until after the baby was born.
TCFNationalBank@reddit
My hospital only allowed two guests in the L&D room, once we were moved to the postpartum floor it was up to 4 guests at a time and only during visiting hours (other parent could stay overnight).
Other hospitals may allow more guests, I suppose, but in real life I would only expect the parents and maybe grandparents to visit in the hospital in the immediate hours/days following the delivery.
Obviously for a show that centers around a group of Friends, the titular Friends will visit in the hospital even if that isn't how it would play out in real social dynamics.
Certain-Monitor5304@reddit
Sometimes...It was just my husband and myself for all our children ls births. We wanted our privacy. For many of the people I know within my generation mid 80s to 90, with children, it was just the parents.
AFewForLeftyToo@reddit
Late 30’s, kids in elementary school. We wouldn’t have dreamed of having anyone in the actual room with us during labor. Waiting at the hospital, sure (grandparents wanting to see new grandkid). But not a chance they’re coming in the room lol.
ElleAnn42@reddit
Because of some high profile newborn abductions that happened in the US several decades ago, the labor and delivery floor of many hospitals is completely locked down. I don’t remember even seeing a waiting room at either hospital where I had my kids.
Broad_Tie9383@reddit
God, I hope not in other places here. My mom took me to the hospital with the first one, because she was around and she watched my kid for the second one. You get visitors, but these days the husband is usually there in the room, grabbing you ice and stuff like that. My doctor told him "make yourself useful and grab a leg" during active labor. With the c-sections, they usually suit up and sit by your head with a discrete curtain blocking the surgery.
Civil_Dragonfruit_34@reddit
It used to be but not since COVID. Some families definitely used to do that though, I think moms were grateful to have an excuse to stop it and it's mostly not a thing anymore. You might still have family come visit the next day to see the baby or something though.
LeilLikeNeil@reddit
It's not super common in my experience, usually the rest of the family just waits at home for word from mom and dad. Hospitals do have waiting areas, but some have policies on how long/what hours you're allowed to hang out there.
procrastinatorsuprem@reddit
It seems quicker than my experiences.