Do you prefer calls or texts?

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ButteredReality@reddit

Not ironic at all. If you have to spend all day listening to and talking to people on the phone, it makes perfect sense why that would be the last thing you want to do when you're not being paid to do so.

I'm text all the way, and I hate being called.

To me, it's rude. A text message says "here is something I need to tell you/a question I have for you. Of course, read it in your own time, and respond in your own time. Just whenever works for you really. If you don't have time to read the full message you can always start it then come back to it another time.", whereas a call says "I want you to drop whatever you are doing this instant so I can tell you something/ask you a question, regardless of whether it's a good time for you or not. If you don't answer then I may or may not send you a message to let you know why I wanted to talk to you. I might leave a voicemail, requiring you to drop what you're doing to listen to my message whyæich may or may not be coherent and I'll probably be going through a tunnel so if you're lucky you'll hear every third word and still be only 20% sure of why I wanted to talk to you. If I don't send a message or leave a voicemail then fuck you, figure it out for yourself or free up some time to call me back, it's now on you to find out what I wanted to say.".

Not only that but with a message, if I don't understand it the first time, I can just reread it, then ask for clarification if necessary. With a phone call I can't do that and have to ask you to repeat yourself. Sometimes I've had to ask people to repeat themselves multiple times and they then get frustrated with me. Look, it's not my fault you decided to mumble/call me from an active building site/call me from the top of a remote mountain".

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Trotim-@reddit

Mid thirties. Texts. I can read and respond in peace without mishearing, feeling rushed or having to quickly escape the busy area I'm in

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buginarugsnug@reddit

My now-husband and I came to a bit of an impasse when first dating. I have auditory processing disorder so prefer texts. He has dyslexia so prefers calls / voice notes.

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drunkenangel_99@reddit

My custom voicemail message literally says “I’m probably not going to call back, if it’s that important, text me”. 😂

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Kitkat_505@reddit (OP)

Love this 😂

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regulator202@reddit

Calls are easier to actually sort things out but I need a text first to check I'm actually available . Don't appreciate cold calls

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seven_green_toes@reddit

Unsure if its surprising or not how many snowflakes are scared or a ringing phone lol,the future of mankind is doomed.

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nonoanddefinitelyno@reddit

I work for myself so have to be nice to my clienta. One customer who calla me when a 3-line email would do - that's usually at least a 20 min call. Another will email and say "got a couple of things to go thru, let me know when you're available for a Teams meeting today - this could also have been a 3-line email.

So, yeah, texts please.

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wildeaboutoscar@reddit

I hate it if it's a work thing and you are being asked to do something. I need the written version or I will forget or potentially misinterpret what they want which leads to longer wait times. It feels like (probably unintentionally) they are pawning the cognitive effort of the whole thing onto you instead of just the task.

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wildeaboutoscar@reddit

I wonder how much of the reticence to answer the phone comes from growing up with the emergence of text and instant messaging? I am a millennial and I hate talking on the phone. Anecdotally a lot of other people my age do too. I wonder if it's because we never really got as much practice as others because we grew up with texting?

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SnooozeFezt@reddit

Text me or send a voice note. It's very rare that I want a phone call!!

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yolo_snail@reddit

I hate talking, be it in person or on the phone.

I just did a click and collect in Halfords, whilst in the store, instead of asking someone for help finding something.

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seven_green_toes@reddit

How do you cope at work?

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wildeaboutoscar@reddit

It's weird to explain but I think for some people you can compartmentalise a bit. Like your work persona does XYZ and you're then 'playing the part' of that role. When you finish work that role disappears and the energy that you spent maintaining the work persona is zapped out of you, making it harder to maintain. 'Fake it 'til you make it' only goes so far.

It's like masking.

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290Richy@reddit

I'm being paid for it.

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yolo_snail@reddit

Funnily enough, I'm fine talking to customers at work! But talking to someone in normal, daily life, impossible!

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wildeaboutoscar@reddit

I generally won't pick up if someone calls me (unless it's my mum as it's never good news when she calls). I struggle to get my words out coherently over the phone and I find it quite anxiety inducing. I can do it at work now and that's fine when I've psyched myself up for it, but it's just not something I'm going to force upon myself in my personal life at the moment.

I find it much easier to deal with if people leave voicemails, as it makes it more like a text in that I can think about my reply more

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PKblaze@reddit

Texts. If you randomly call me, I am not picking up.

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Kitkat_505@reddit (OP)

I have an instant wave of nausea if I see a call come through

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wildeaboutoscar@reddit

Same, especially if it's my mum. She only calls me when someone has died, may as well change her picture to the grim reaper

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WhoLets1968@reddit

Not a boomer or gen X then?

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PKblaze@reddit

Nah, Awkward cusp of Y and Z

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WhoLets1968@reddit

Yes, we (gen X) grew up without text so the only way to know who was on the phone was to call...but today even I'll not answer my phone if I don't know who's calling...I've lost that 'skill' of simply picking up the phone and calling

If I ring my mates now the first question is what's up...not oh hiz how are you?

How the world has changed..and on this, I'm not sure if it's for the better

Hey ho

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Cal_PCGW@reddit

Yeah I'm Gen X. I've had jobs where I've had to call people, but now, in my old age, I loathe using the phone and find it really hard, mentally, to make calls.

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Quiet_surprise79@reddit

If someone I know randomly calls me I assume it's an emergency because everyone knows I don't like phonecalls

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blacksmithMael@reddit

Calls without any doubt. I loathe texts and messaging like whatsapp with a passion.

I’ve seen what could be a five minute conversation on the phone turn into a three days messaging session. And the amount of words and face things people need to clarify tone via message is frankly uncivilised.

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SeoulGalmegi@reddit

Don't call me unless you're a close friend/family just wanting a chat, or it really is urgent.

Otherwise just message. Please. Haha

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SeoulGalmegi@reddit

Texts.

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Sandy_Bananas@reddit

Txt me. If it’s important il text you to tell you I’ll call you back.

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jestem_julkaaaa@reddit

When it comes to people I know? I'm not bothered

Strangers? Absolutely text, if it's not urgent then I dont see a reason why a stranger should call me

I also hate in general when someone puts an obligation or expectation on me, so whenever a stranger calls me I feel like I have to perform or fulfill an unspoken rule about language. I also despise calling to make an appointment when I can just do it online, way less stressful and I dont have to worry about whether someone will answer or not

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EUskeptik@reddit

Totally agree! 👍

-oo-

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Educational-Angle717@reddit

Text for friends, Phone for family.

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Ok-Advantage3180@reddit

Texts. They allow me to get back to the person when I’m able to and without pressure. If I can’t answer a call straight away, all I can think about for the rest of the day is that I need to try and find the time to call them back and then start worrying about why they were calling

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lewisw1992@reddit

Voice messages on WhatsApp offer the best of both worlds.

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Kitkat_505@reddit (OP)

Nope nope nope. So awkward.

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acceberbex@reddit

Depends entirely on the person. Family can call. Everyone else can message. Family don't need to message before a call as if I'm around, I'll pick up. If not, leave a message or message me either to ask me to call back or outline your reason for calling

I hate work calls even though most are the same but I just prefer to know what it's about and get the details etc loaded before speaking.

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Kitkat_505@reddit (OP)

Me and my family are as bad as each other. We never call. Only message. My parents aren't keen on phone calls either so we much prefer to message or see each other in person.

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-Aqua-Lime-@reddit

If I want to actually chat to someone, definitely calls - I hate trying to have a social conversation over text, it feels so stilted.

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Majestic_Plankton921@reddit

I hate texts. It feels like a load of work having to message people back and forth. I spend ages thinking about the wording and trying to think about how I'm coming across. I'm much prefer have a quick call. I also I feel that I connect better with friends and family on the phone.

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NoodleDoodlesocks@reddit

Text for almost every circumstance.

Call if we need to liaise on something as long as we stick to the point and no chit chat.

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Imaginary_Finger7844@reddit

Text.

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Nandor1262@reddit

Calls I’m extroverted and I can’t be arsed texting all the time. After a call I feel like I’ve caught up with the other person, messaging constantly leaves me this false sense of catching up with the person when actually we’ve not physically spoken in ages.

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InviteAromatic6124@reddit

I hate speaking to people on the phone, so text all the way

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Fine_Analyst_4408@reddit

Calls if I'm making the call, because I have it down to an art to have it done within 30 seconds. I would rather get a text than be called, especially by my sister as she has a personal game where she tries to keep me on the phone for an hour.

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Thomas5020@reddit

Texts.

Calls demand my attention right that second. And there's a very good chance that what you're about to say doesnt demand that level of attention.

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smiley6125@reddit

Don’t mind either but voice notes are an awkward half way house.

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Kitkat_505@reddit (OP)

Ive sent 2 voice notes in my life and I made the mistake of listening back to them and decided, never again.

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Emergency_Mistake_44@reddit

Call. I drive for work so texts can go unnoticed whereas I can talk through my car Bluetooth. Also, it's just quicker? I don't get this "I need time to respond" mentality, do people not have conversations every day since learning how to speak? Just call me and ask the question! Also, what's all this "if it's important they'll send a message" about??? Just answer. You can ascertain within a few seconds if you want to carry on talking or not.

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danielsemaj@reddit

Calls. Hate texting. Although I’m 36 and I find many people under 30 don’t like speaking on the phone.

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elhazelenby@reddit

Texting but I have auditory processing disorder so it's just harder to hear on the phone. I'm useless without speakerphone or headphones on.

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Browneskiii@reddit

I will watch my phone ring multiple times if i have to. If its important, text me what it is, I'm not picking up.

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Klutzy_Award1786@reddit

Text, literally the voicemail on my phone is don't leave a message because I don't listen to them, please message or email me. I will often sit & watch it ring & if someone really actually wants to get in touch they can message... Life is hectic enough without the whole answer me now telephone annoyance

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sapphire-sky-dragon@reddit

My phone has been on permanent silent since I bought it. Ive even turned voicemail off , its a text or email and I dont even like getting those either.

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Chopsticks_Charlie@reddit

I genuinely feel sick whenever my phone rings, they can get to fuck

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Kitkat_505@reddit (OP)

Same. Makes me feel awful.

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seven_green_toes@reddit

Get rid of your phone then?

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Chopsticks_Charlie@reddit

If this device could only receive and send calls fully it would be binned so fast

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International-You-13@reddit

People don't buy phones for the telephone, they buy them for the built in computer with high speed wireless network connection.

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blueroses8000@reddit

Because that’s all a phone does?

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ladybayliving@reddit

Strongly suspect I’m autistic so not sure if that has anything to do with it, but text 100% - calls give me massive anxiety. I even let my work phone ring out sometimes until I can psych myself up to handle a call!

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RowRow1990@reddit

Depends who it is, but i can talk for hours on the phone.

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CrowApprehensive204@reddit

Messenger or Snapchat so I can ignore

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SomeHSomeE@reddit

Text (whatsapp). If someone calls me unexpectedly I assume it's a misdial. If they call again I assume it's an emergency.

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liebackandthinkofeng@reddit

Text. I detest phone calls an FaceTime and can only tolerate them with my mum or my husband. I will only pick up the phone if it’s one of them or I know to expect a call (e.g. from the GP). Otherwise, I let it ring out - if it’s important, they’ll leave a voicemail.

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Kitkat_505@reddit (OP)

I shudder at the thought of face time.

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liebackandthinkofeng@reddit

My husband’s family do a semi-regular FaceTime and I show my face and say hello but I detest the camera being on me. I feel so rude not being as involved as I can, but I just hate it. I hate accidentally talking over other people or saying something just for it to be missed because others are talking. I never know how much or little to say, I never know if they want an honest answer to ‘how are you?’. It’s just too much for my tired and probably overly anxious brain after a long day of work and parenting.

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notfromanywhere234@reddit

Texts always. Calls tend to be longer than necessary in 99% of the cases.

I love intentional communication where people clearly signal what do they want, how do they want it and when they want it. I don't want to know about anybody's private matters unless I ask for that information specifically and in verbal communication people tend to blabber and provide me with TMI.

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DrederickTatumsBum@reddit

You don't want to know about friends and family's private matters?

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notfromanywhere234@reddit

I've used the word "unless" and apart from that, no I don't always want to know what somebody had for breakfast and what movie they've seen in the afternoon.

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piggies1066@reddit

Sometimes having a call is just simpler. You can understand each other without over analysing what a written message means. As a rule of thumb, simple things should just be a quick text or email, but if it's complex it should be confirmed in using both to avoid miscommunication.

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Berkiss_me@reddit

I agree, but I usually drop a “can I call you?” text message first

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piggies1066@reddit

Yes, definitely. Sometimes people are not ready to call i.e., on the loo, in public, at work. Hence why using two modes of communication is best, text to confirm a call, then call and discuss X Y Z, wrap it all up with text to follow up core plans discussed in call.

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Kitkat_505@reddit (OP)

Definitely. If you insist on calling, please give me some warning

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LetsChatLife@reddit

100% texts only!

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1968Bladerunner@reddit

Call only if it's urgent / complex to type out or requires an immediate decision / information exchange, otherwise text so I can take my time answering.

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Polz34@reddit

Does anyone like calls?

Weirdly for personal I prefer text, but at work 100% calls ... I'd much prefer a 5 minute chat over hours of email or teams ping pong!

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Low-Cauliflower-5686@reddit

It's being called and unprepared such as a work situation. Or if I'm on train or on the move when being called.

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cannontd@reddit

“You are being called from a group”

Kills me every time.

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Low-Cauliflower-5686@reddit

Out of the blue teams calls from managers

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StereotypicallBarbie@reddit

Text me… there’s like 5 people I’ll actually answer my personal phone to.

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Postik123@reddit

I'm a text, WhatsApp or email person. Way too much time is wasted with phone calls. Something that can be asked in 2 lines of text seems to take 10 minutes with a phone call.

More often than not someone calls me to ask for something and then I need to make a note of what they want, which means now I'm the one having to do the typing instead of them.

Phone calls are just for lazy people who can't be bothered to type, but don't care that the call is going to interrupt you and take up more of your time.

I also get lots of calls from people when they are driving. Which basically means, "I'm driving and can't do anything else so I'll call you; the fact that you're not driving and are probably busy is inconsequential to me."

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International-You-13@reddit

I hate both, but I hate calls moreso than texts.

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PerfectPeaPlant@reddit

Text. I have ME and talking causes fatigue. Text is slower.

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290Richy@reddit

Text.

If you aren't in my contacts or I'm not expecting a call the I won't pick up, simple as that.

This rule also avoids picking up spam calls too.

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fuckedsince1991@reddit

Depends who? Why? When?

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llynllydaw_999@reddit

Depends what's most efficient. Too many people my work want to send Teams messages which don't achieve anything rather than actually talk to the person to resolve their issue. (Teams messages are very useful of course, but not always.)

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Acceptable-Ant-9231@reddit

This is reddit haha

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blueroses8000@reddit

Do not call me.

Unless it’s an emergency.

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Defiant-Table-9131@reddit

Depends who it is. If its work then a text is preferred so I have time to think. If it's friends or family we often call each other just to chat.

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AEHBlandalorian@reddit

I’m that guy that sends primarily voice messages.

No, I will not apologise.

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zoltan_g@reddit

Doesn't matter, I don't answer either unless it's important 😆

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Dry_Action1734@reddit

For work, a call. People rarely get across the full extent of what they mean with a Teams message or text.

Personal, a text.

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oscarx-ray@reddit

Text for something simple. Call for a conversation.

If I want my mate to tell me what time we're meeting at the pub or my wife to tell me what she wants from the supermarket, then a text is fine.

If my mum wants to tell me about her day or to see how I'm doing, then a call.

If you're not my friend, my mum, or my wife, then I probably don't want to hear from you at all.

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Sneaky_Hint@reddit

Texts. I find it much easier to put my thoughts down in a way I can't with calls.

I don't mind video calls, especially with family and friends, but regular audio calls just because I can only go by tone instead of body language.

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Puzzleheaded-Web1519@reddit

If I get a call I assume it’s a wrong number.

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bahumat42@reddit

Depends what for.

Small talk, updates or jokes texts.

Meaningful conversations, urgent information or something requires negotiation and both people inputting phonecalls.

I don't LIKE phonecalls, despite it being a very present part of my job for over a decade, but I understand and respect the value in them.

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QueefInMyKisser@reddit

Calls are fine but should be scheduled by text, I’m useless at answering unless I’m g forewarned

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Ok-Ship812@reddit

I find unsolicited calls to be a real pain u less it’s family. I’m working with a guy that’s calls ‘as it’s urgent’ and then asks for something that could have been a text message.

I’m tolerating it for now as he is bringing me customers but that will end soon and he’s getting blocked.

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MrReadilyUnready@reddit

If it's something small, a text. If it requires a bunch of back and forth, a call is way easier.

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Drath101@reddit

Texts, but mainly because except my partner if somebody randomly calls me it's almost certainly because someone's died, or gone to hospital, or been in a car crash, or gotten ill, or had a fall. Every phone call that isn't expected is some nonsense

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This_is_Life84@reddit

Texts. If someone I know calls me, I automatically assume it's an emergency/bad news

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EndPsychological2541@reddit

Texts, unless I'm driving, then you're coming the distance of the drive with me.

I used to spend easily 6 hours a day on the phone to my friend... As soon as I'm home though I'm not picking up for all the tea in China.

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AnonymousTimewaster@reddit

Call. I hate texting. Slow and obnoxious and I always forget to respond.

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MF291100@reddit

Texts. If I get a phone call from anyone other than my best friend, mum, or someone from work I’m absolutely not answering.

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FreeBogwoppits@reddit

Phone call. If it's not important enough for you to call me, it's not important enough for me to read a text.

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LaughingAtSalads@reddit

Always prefer calls unless I am on public transport where quiet is needed, or driving. Calls mean I can deal with whatever it is without faffing about, I can clarify or ask for clarification, gauge tone & emotion (if any) more accurately, and have no eyestrain or hand/arm/keyboard nonsense.

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1whoisconcerned@reddit

I work in a call centre. Last thing I want outside of work is another call. Texts please.

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Weary_Bat2456@reddit

Text so I can pretend not to see it.

I prefer in-person conversations over texting and calling, but if not possible then text. I panic when I see, or have to do, a call.

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Aspect-Unusual@reddit

Text, can pretend i've not seen it and deal with it later

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