Weird captain or FO stories
Posted by Flightyler@reddit | flying | View on Reddit | 378 comments
What’s the weirdest thing a CA or FO has done? Weird habits? I’ve been lucky and haven’t had anyone too crazy. A common one is calling “speed” every single time we hit a gust and them suddenly pumping the yoke around like it owes them money the last 500’ of a landing for absolutely no reason. I’ve also had a captain go “No. Not confirmed. I don’t like it that way do it the other way.” When I put the initial fix behind us on a visual approach instead of putting a tail on it when we were on a base turn well inside of the fix.
Sugar_Cane_320@reddit
Some dipshit capt at XJT told me that altitude restrictions on a STAR that had a between (like cross this fix between 12,000-15,000), you had to be level at the appropriate odd/even altitude for direction you are flying.
slickjamtaw@reddit
How else you would have separation in case someone is flying the reverse STAR? Check mate.
PRISONER_709@reddit
Fucking RATS
Sunsplitcloud@reddit
new term for the SID. I wouldn't put it past some of the dumbfuckery I've seen from the FAA...
PRISONER_709@reddit
Real Americans Take off Shortcut
AccurateIsland4352@reddit
Underrated comment
ywgflyer@reddit
The only time I have ever seen something approximating this is in mountainous terrain where the route in is the same as the route out -- but when it's like that, you aren't allowed to depart IFR until the guy arriving is down and clear, so it's a moot point, you won't get cleared that procedure so you'll never meet the guy flying the opposite way.
Elcapitano2u@reddit
There were some doozies at XJT
This-cant-be-wright@reddit
Came for the XJT stories. Happy find Jetlink representing.
Sugar_Cane_320@reddit
Where 3 cups???
I was there for 3 years and IAH based. Characters I tell ya! But enjoyed my time
Bravodelta13@reddit
Flying 767 freighters in the supplemental world, allegedly. This was several years ago, but had a jumpseater that had previously worked with him on several rotations. Sounds like he hasn’t changed.
This-cant-be-wright@reddit
He's riding off into the sunset with Moped Boy.
Tall_Sherbert7375@reddit
It’s amazing sometimes hearing stuff like this how these pilots got passed their IFR checkride
atooraya@reddit
I had a long ass discussion with my regional captain about OAT. ATC asked us for OAT. He gave them TAT instead of SAT while we were at 250kts at 7000’. He didn’t understand how the TAT works affect a 172 vs a jet.
DankVectorz@reddit
Is this why I sometimes get icing reports with temp above freezing?
ConditionLevers1050@reddit
Probably, though it's technically possible to get icing at static air temperatures as high as 10 C. I don’t recall ever encountering icing above freezing personally though.
UnreasoningOptimism@reddit
Yep ask him if it's total or static. Static is what we want for icing pireps.
hawker1172@reddit
Yeah it’s pilots who don’t meet the knowledge standard for their certificates. Call them out on it next time and make them feel dumb.
hawker1172@reddit
This lack of basic knowledge of that is incredibly common
Tall_Sherbert7375@reddit
What did he think the TAT and SAT were displaying when they’re different numbers? I’ve had a captain do this same thing as well. Do they just completely ignore the SAT indication? Makes no sense to me.
rckid13@reddit
Tell that to the VNAV planes since VNAV doesn't do anything close to that.
r361k@reddit
Haha this is the wildest take I've read in a long time.
I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS@reddit
Lol how often are people flying opposite directions on a STAR?
Haunting_Prompt@reddit
Never! If the constraint is a window then any altitude from bottom to top is protected.
bahenbihen69@reddit
My favorite so far was an instructor before our sim telling us if the FDs are off on both sides an ILS is no longer a precision approach. Yes, a TRI/TRE.
aftcg@reddit
Omg I flew with that guy!
flightist@reddit
That one feels somewhat like asking the new CFI to go check the frammis jammer on a 152.
Bunslow@reddit
"raspberry.... only one man would dare give me the raspberry!"
usernametaken78523@reddit
Lmao, surpringly that's not the worst of BS some people pull out their ass.
kd_butterballs@reddit
Haven’t heard that one before
Flightyler@reddit (OP)
I’m honestly not surprised with some of the made up stuff I’ve heard captains regurgitate
changgerz@reddit
almost every 9E pilot knows of a certain DTW captain with some odd habits, such as carrying around bags filled with every scrap of trash he had accumulated over the length of the trip
Intelligent_Rub_8566@reddit
I have so many stories from flying with him. i didn’t know the bags were filled with trash at first. Lectured me for 10 straight minutes during cruise/descent on how I needed to get my son baptized pronto. Then saw our landing weight was 69000something and said “ah, my favorite number!” And proceeded to tell 3 straight minutes of blowjob jokes. I was so shocked by the transition from infant baptism to 69 jokes that I missed us busting an altitude restriction. Fortunately ATC was too busy griping at a Mexican biz jet to notice/care.
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
The funny thing is there's a PSA guy who did something similar. This career really is like the same eight people.
Go_Loud762@reddit
There was a PSA capt who kept every single piece of paperwork for every flight. Organized it and filed it away for "just in case."
militaryrat155@reddit
Seems like the AMEs are really bad at screening for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder lmao
hogdriver@reddit
This guy might be at United now.
nfw9001@reddit
That takes me back
Sir_Lovablefoot@reddit
Had a ca stress about having a tail strike on like 6 different landing we did together, constantly interfering with the controls during landing and takeoff and running the checklist a second time on his own.
hope_i_no_get_banned@reddit
That's so annoying. I can't stand people like this. Why do they enjoy being on a list that people don't like to fly with?
Sir_Lovablefoot@reddit
My company doesn’t have said lists lmao. And of course i was paired to fly with him for almost 3 months straight
scotshie@reddit
Over the ocean one night, 2 AM and we’re both kind of zoned out. The captain suddenly asks me “Why can’t we get there?”
Startled, I then look at him and say “What do you mean?” He points at a full moon rising over the water and says again “Why can’t we get there?”
I’m confused and say “The moon? Well, we’ve been there with the moon landings, right?” He responds (still staring intently at the moon) “No, why can’t we just get there. Like right now. Us.”
Now I get a little nervous but try to explain about things like orbital escape velocity, the fact that our engines need fuel and air to operate, and so on.
After my explanations, he says “Hmmm. I guess that makes sense.” We don’t speak again for a few hours until the approach briefing. He was a weird dude.
wizard_hermite@reddit
Funniest one in here so far
jetdriver13@reddit
I think bro was just fucking delirious at 2am hahahaha
TheReaped@reddit
Ah yeah, got a few good ones from this guy. This is my favorite.
We were descending into a very southern texas airport, and passing through about 9k, he gets very excited. He happened to remember there was a Golden Corral in town. Before I even realize what's he's on about, he calls up the flight attendant. She is a confused because she has just got the 10k ding, but he asks "you ever been to THE golden carol?!" Confused, she answers "uh no?" ... "Well you're about to lose your Golden Carral virginity!" And hangs up. I just give an awkward laugh and smile and we land.
Fast forward to the restaurant (who's going to pass up a free meal?), and he is getting like one of everything. Instead of getting a bowl of broccoli cheddar and chicken noodle soup, he just puts them in the same bowl and mixes them together. He just absolutely destroys several plates.
The flight attendant gives me a look, I give her a "yep, this is him" kinda nod and smile. The rest of the trip is just as weird.
Disallow0382@reddit
Is it Corral, Carol, or Carral my guy? Please invite me next time. I need to save my Per Diem.
ApprehensiveVirus217@reddit
This reeks of BRO or MFE
clburton24@reddit
Did you figure out what was so special about that one location?
DirkChesney@reddit
Idk why but this one has me absolutely dying laughing
Cxopilot@reddit
Flew with a guy who was a Jesus freak. But not in the way of trying to convert you. Now I’m a Christian but: I don’t hyper focus on the end times. This guy could not help but talk about how literally every aspect of society as a sign that the end times were near. Social media. The government, the relationships ( not the straight kind) the tv shows, the movies every aspect. And he was armament I better get my affairs in order for when the end times come. I didn’t piss during flight for the entire 3 day. Held that in until I got on the ground because I didn’t trust his mental state.
the_clarinet_squid@reddit
Bro I’m a christian too he’s not wrong
pfc_6ixgodconsumer@reddit
Also weird occupation choice given his disposition. If the rapture hits he’s not going to be able to sort out his affairs if he’s at FL360.
Frothyleet@reddit
He probably wants to get to heaven first and figures he's got a good chance of having a few thousand feet advantage on everyone else
rckid13@reddit
I flew with an FO who WAS trying to convert people. It was a pretty annoying trip.
Cxopilot@reddit
It wasn’t from the Mormon Air Force was it
rckid13@reddit
It was but this guy wasn't Mormon. I think he was Jehovah's Witness.
FrankThePilot@reddit
Was this guy also known for bringing around a garbage bag to collect recycling from the airport? If so, we flew with the same guy.
Cxopilot@reddit
No this guy is probably the only pilot that taxis slow at my airline if you catch my drift
fender8421@reddit
That's when you piss yourself in the cockpit and blame Satan
toraai117@reddit
Gave a flight review to a guy who wouldn’t stop talking about how the great reset was coming and you have to be ready to go to the bank and turn in all your money for some new currency and a bunch of other crazy shit I don’t remember. Dude was 100% serious.
Cxopilot@reddit
Sounds like that guy and the guy I flew with are in the same cult
toraai117@reddit
That’s what I was thinking lol
Fake_Pilot@reddit
Flew with a captain while on probation. He was we showing me on his company ipad all the pictures of his new house, his plane, and his cars. He then came across a video of his wife topless in his plane while doing aerobatics, and played it for me. He said "this is a great demonstration of g forces".
the_clarinet_squid@reddit
Category A B C or D??
Phospherus2@reddit
Legend
Big_Spicy_Tuna69@reddit
I worked the ramp at a smaller class D, dude (135 captain) goes out to preflight right as his pax are showing up. I head out to go grab his chocks and cones and see this growing puddle behind the plane. I go over to check it out and make sure it's not a fuel leak, and this guy is hanging a piss right out in the open as his pax are walking out onto the ramp. I don't know if they saw him or not (I mean, how could you not?) but they didn't say anything.
the_clarinet_squid@reddit
Legend
Weasel474@reddit
Gotta mark which jet is yours in case maintenance tries to come take it.
Then_Bar8757@reddit
Pheromes
changgerz@reddit
sometimes you just gotta exercise your captains authority
Frothyleet@reddit
sky law is very clear on this
Rictor_Scale@reddit
Capt Randy Quaid?
Bunslow@reddit
well something was leaking...
jetstrea87@reddit
F.O shitted on his pants during climb out of SJO airport.
Flightyler@reddit (OP)
ON his pants?
jetstrea87@reddit
He was seated, before the flight Customs K-9 shitted on the aircraft too, right on the entrance of the cabin
BigBadPanda@reddit
He shows up with a paper grocery bag. Climbing through ten, he pulls out Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies and a half gallon of milk. He proceeds to picnic on cookies until they’re gone (he was kind enough to offer me some). At cruise, he’s sitting on the sun, and proceeds to cat nap for the next hour. 10/10. Would fly with again.
the_clarinet_squid@reddit
Bro that sounds like a dream CA not weird
kiwi_love777@reddit
I had a captain tell me about putting his testosterone gel on his taint.
He then put his heel up and pointed to where the taint is…
I’m a woman and this was a male LCA at my airline.
He then asked to see a photo of my husband and invited us for a “couples getaway” with him and his wife…
Found out later he was a swinger.
Frothyleet@reddit
It's adorable that someone had to explain what his invitation meant
kiwi_love777@reddit
Thank you.
Yeah my friend goes “did he ask to see a photo of your husband”
“….yeah?”
“Yeah he’s a swinger- he was seeing if your husband was his wife’s type”
😳OMG
roehnin@reddit
I don't work in aerospace but where I do work this would be an HR conversation.
kiwi_love777@reddit
Ooo that’s NOTHING compared to what guys talk about- I’ve heard it allll.
One guy was just an asshole about it, but I’m an FO and he’s a Captain- no way they’ll take my word over his.
But that’s ok since everyone at the company hates him anyway.
MaizePractical4163@reddit
Did you go?
OptimisticMartian@reddit
I mean, I think there were some early signs that showed up before 'later'? LOL
Punkrawk78@reddit
Well, did you go? 🤣
kiwi_love777@reddit
O god no! I told another captain buddy of mine and he’s warned me! 🤣
HornetsnHomebrew@reddit
Someday soon I’ll fly with somebody and the saving thought will be, “this guy has not addressed his taint in any way. It could be worse.”
Many thanks for humor and perspective.
ljthefa@reddit
Your current airline because your Types say we work at the same place and I really REALLY hope this was at a past job
kiwi_love777@reddit
It was!
Unlucky-Telephone-85@reddit
😳 careful shaking hands with that guy….
jeevacation_gmail@reddit
Free testosterone boost
kiwi_love777@reddit
🤣 totally harmless dude.
Just hilarious on a line check to hear about a taint.
Unlucky-Telephone-85@reddit
I’m thinking more about where that hand has been…..applying that gel…lol
LTZheavy@reddit
It's stories like this that really make my day, I'll be chuckling hanging drywall in the garage all evening now. Thanks!
noprkingonthednceflr@reddit
Mmmmmm Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies. Memories unlocked 😋
FanMysterious432@reddit
Indeed!
blindpilot02@reddit
Make s’mores with fudge striped cookies instead of graham crackers…🤌
DatBeigeBoy@reddit
Could he complete the elevator portion of the flight control check?
BigBadPanda@reddit
He was thin, which makes the experience more funny to me.
DatBeigeBoy@reddit
Bro was just built different
HLSparta@reddit
Did the trim wheel happen to be more nose up than usual?
poser765@reddit
This is definitely not a flying related story but something that strikes me as marvelous a feat as your tale…
I once showed up to a DnD game I found through a local looking for group fb page. Dungeon master sat down and pulled out 6 20oz bottles of Diet Pepsi. I thought he was a champ for bringing us all beverages. Nope. This absolute beast drank all six of them over a three hour game. Didn’t not pee once that I saw.
Oregon-Pilot@reddit
he's something superior to humankind
BigBadPanda@reddit
I felt like Jim, realizing he doesn’t have what it takes to hang with Florida Stanley.
Guysmiley777@reddit
That wasn't a cat nap, that was a diabetic coma. Respect.
hypnotoad23@reddit
I need to know who his AME is
MadeForThisOnePostt@reddit
This has to be an advertisement or something for keeblers cookies 😭
OnionDart@reddit
Man knows what he likes. Respect.
Guysmiley777@reddit
Cue the photo of the CRJ FO eating a Great Value brand cheddar block like an energy bar as an in-flight snack.
PM-ME-YOUR-PROPWASH@reddit
Had a captain that would eat an entire head of lettuce, like an apple. No dressing.
trimix4work@reddit
Was he a manatee?
Sure-Permission-9693@reddit
So not a CA but there's a guy on instagram, he's a trash man and eats whole heads of lettuce almost daily, calls them trash salads. Bounces them off the side of the truck before going to town, he at least throws dressing and such on there😂
illegalavocado@reddit
I flew with a guy that ate bell peppers like apples, also kiwis with the skin on too.
PM-ME-YOUR-PROPWASH@reddit
I actually really like the sweet mini bell peppers raw!
illegalavocado@reddit
I do too! Just usually cut them up first.
kdegraaf@reddit
There's a special place in hell for anyone who eats crunchy food in front of someone who literally cannot escape or stick earplugs in.
EnthusiasmHuman6413@reddit
I’d take it over a can of Tuna
a_provo_yakker@reddit
Yeah man at frontier, my buddies in a certain base all had flown with this dude who would bring the smelliest canned fish and crack it open at some point during the turn.
HornetsnHomebrew@reddit
One of my first shipboard roommates used to eat sardines and smoked oysters in the stateroom, which is 0.96 the volume of a phone booth. My man, you either have to share or GTFO with that stuff.
GuaranteeUnhappy3342@reddit
Sounds bad but I had a captain that would bring a package of hot dogs and eat them straight out of the package. Sometimes take two days to eat a pack. Also lived at the YMCA. Not a joke! Overall a nice guy and a good pilot and captain but a warm day and open hot dogs.
Memories of cans of Vienna sausages exploding in cars as you open them on long desert car trips!
EnthusiasmHuman6413@reddit
Man I used to remove the Vienna sausages with a toothpick one by one and dip them in barbecue sauce. Real high society stuff.
CessnaBandit@reddit
That's some big "what ya gonna do" energy
Longwaytofall@reddit
Hot mic on no doubt.
EnthusiasmHuman6413@reddit
Freakshow
0621Hertz@reddit
you gotta eat the lettuce
roehnin@reddit
is that not how it is supposed to be eaten ... I do same.
rckid13@reddit
I know pilots who have eaten the cheese at F Street Station in ANC.
surefirepigeon@reddit
I don’t know any pilots who haven’t.
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
Lmao I'm like 80% sure I know who that is.
Could I also bring up rail spikes if I wanted to mention the same guy?
cincocerodos@reddit
Amazing that "rail spike guy" could get any weirder if this is the same bit of regional lore I'm thinking of. Is there a black Patagonia jacket involved?
Twarrior913@reddit
Ol’ rail spike guy.
LookoutBel0w@reddit
Now that’s a dusty story
f1racer328@reddit
That’s the same guy? wtf!!
hoppertn@reddit
Two redditors find each other, now kiss. 😘
Working_Football1586@reddit
Flew with a guy that carried frozen slices of Costco pizza in his bag. If he couldn’t find free food to eat he would heat one up. If he found something free he would refreeze them at night for another day. He was making captains pay. Im not sure he even paid for the pizza slices.
changgerz@reddit
wait was this done unironically?
That_Soup4445@reddit
Working with spray crews hours away from stores doing 100-115 hours a week I lived off of block cheese and summer sausage. Just raw doggin bites right off the 1lb sticks
ywgflyer@reddit
Ricky, where the fuck's my pepperoni?!
skydive17@reddit
Dude I’ve been looking for that picture but I can’t find it anywhere!
fender8421@reddit
That's even better than the skydiving instructor I watched pull a whole-ass burrito out of nowhere in a Caravan
Ruepic@reddit
Would be me tbh, I use to work at a food broker that specializes in cheese, it was a good time.
UnhingedCorgi@reddit
Just reading this gave me gas
Guysmiley777@reddit
It made me feel bad for the hotel cleaning staff because you know when the time came it was gonna be on like donkey kong.
I mean it probably WAS a cost effective source of calories for someone on a keto style diet but just something about teeth marks in a block of Walmart cheese is forever seared into my brain.
gravity-f1ghter@reddit
The what now?
Flightyler@reddit (OP)
That’s how I felt when we had the cheese trays
hellozim@reddit
My first IOE at a regional captain asked me if I knew what an FFDO was I said yes. He then tells me if anything happens he will take care of it and I’ll become single pilot. I told him sir I have about 40hrs of sim time if anything happens he should just shoot me as I’m the bigger threat. He did not think I was funny.
Maple-Mayhem@reddit
I'm gonna remember that I think it's hilarious 😄
one-each-pilot@reddit
If he had to “go to work” it should take all of five seconds, then he could jump right back in the seat. How’d these cats get through selection?
Frothyleet@reddit
Uh obviously you don't understand the threats he has trained against. What if ISIS bought every seat on the flight? Captain John Wick could be stuck in the back for the next 45 minutes taking down tangos, you'll need to handle things on your own.
trimix4work@reddit
Plus patching holes in the fuselage.
Don't forget that part
Rafikis_Ass@reddit
My IOE at SWA- CKAM “Ohh we have a FFDO (jumpseafter)!” FA A “HA, Fat Frustrated Obnoxious and Divorced!” IOE CKAM “Hahahahahahhaha“ Jumpseater (overweight) “Yea I’m divorced too”
greghamwaffle@reddit
Similarly had the IOE CA who was an FFDO say “if I have to go to work, taps holster, you’re gonna be landing at SFO single pilot.” I had 20 hours in the jet. Like bruh.
cfijay@reddit
Go to work 😂 cause son, I’ve had a knife pulled me for last time!
ps2sunvalley@reddit
Excellent comeback
Maple-Mayhem@reddit
I'm gonna remember that I think it's hilarious 😄
Unfair-Bison-3946@reddit
I had a captain that was asleep before TOC and I was to wake him up at the FAF everytime.
sweller55@reddit
Is this person the highest paid employee at OO by chance?
changgerz@reddit
sorry
Headoutdaplane@reddit
I mean.....you could have let him sleep until the door opened....
Unfair-Bison-3946@reddit
No tiller on the right side
Askacfi23@reddit
Work for Atlas. One of the Dead headers was a senior Captain. Mind you im new to Miami base, the company called it Miami Mafia, and I understood then why. Four pilots including myself, one mechanic and two deadheads, 7 Souls on board. I was the relief guy, so after locking up the doors, I verified everyone on board. Took off, after cruise i came to the back to sleep. Now we are 1 person short. Not in the bunks, not in the lav, no where to be seen. Im losing my shit because the other two said he went downstairs and never came back up. Thinking he passed out due to a possible oxygen issue i grabbed a portable oxygen bottle and went downstairs. Plane wasn’t fully loaded so MOTHERFUCKER BUILT A FUCKING HAMMOCK BETWEEN TWO PALLETS AND WAS BLASTING MUSIC ON HIS BLUETOOTH SPEAKER. HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THE o2 problem. Like yeah totally normal to be in the cargo bay
militaryrat155@reddit
It’s common for Air Force loadmasters to do the hammock thing on long haul flights on the C-17 an C-5. I’ve seen it many times while catching a ride
Clearly hasn’t caught on much in the civilian cargo world 😭
clburton24@reddit
Absolute legend. Are there any regs or company rules against this?
Askacfi23@reddit
Main deck cargo hold is well pressurized but we have to carry a portable o2 going down there in case of a rapid d. Funny thing is he had a o2 bottle next to him. Wasn’t his first rodeo
clburton24@reddit
This is a dumb question, but if its cargo, how would you know if it depressurized while in the cargo area?
Askacfi23@reddit
So the main deck, which is right below the upper deck of the 747 is well pressurized. We load hazardous materials there in case of fire it’s easily depressurizated to suck the oxygen and all that scientific stuff
clburton24@reddit
Is there a warning if youre back there?
Askacfi23@reddit
On the 747-8 yes not on the 400s
IAmMDM@reddit
I imagine your ears will notify you very clearly about rapid decompression
clburton24@reddit
Fucking duh. Im an idiot lol
TxtC27@reddit
So, did you adopt the hammock method yourself?
Oxygen_Converter@reddit
Must have been former military. I've slept on pallets, in vehicles, and in hammocks in our cargo bay.
illegalavocado@reddit
Seen that many a time in the back of a herc. Lots of places to attach hammocks to as well.
setthrustpositive@reddit
Weird FO. Earmuff Dave.
Dude was a retired (dont know if forcibly) UA captain.
Went everywhere wearing a green headset like the ones used for cutting down trees.
Racist, sexist, and would complain about any music, even to passengers.
Diet was weird too. No plastic containers. But would eat tuna from a pouch with his fingers, then wash his fingers in black coffee, then pour the tuna juice in the coffee after eating, then drink it.
We had a trip from TEB to Rochester MN. There's only one reason to go there. The passenger put sweet-n-low in their coffee. Dave, next to them, grabbed the coffee from their hands and told them that's why they have cancer.
Eventually was on every captains no-fly list and was terminated. Left for another BE400 operator. Called my CP for manuals and checklists.
militaryrat155@reddit
After reading this, and the whole thread, it almost seems like undiagnosed autism is requirement to make it in this career lmao
changgerz@reddit
i need to be checked into a mental hospital just from reading this
setthrustpositive@reddit
Although he did have a VERY used water bottle.
He'd wash it out, then squish it a few times to release the plastics then empty and refill.
pilot-dude-67@reddit
Flew a repo with a CA that was a Holocaust denier, Sandy Hook shooting denier, misogynist, and probably racist. Longest flight of my life consisting of me saying “Wow that’s crazy” about 50 times.
He no longer works at our airline. Looked him up recently and found a mugshot for domestic violence.
Some quotes from our flight:
• “Hitler wasn’t actually such a bad guy” • “The Jews controlled the media and made it seem like more Jews died in the camps” • “The gas chambers [during the Holocaust] were actually used to stop Typhus outbreaks” • “Rush Limbaugh was the greatest political voice we had. Now all we have left is Alex Jones” • “Sandy Hook MIGHT have happened, but it was an inside job” • “Jews are evil, their religion says they can eat non-Jews”
thewizbizman@reddit
God we all have autism 😭💀
Frosty-Brain-2199@reddit
Please don’t tell the FAA
rckid13@reddit
They know. Just don't tell them we all have ADHD too. They don't like that part.
Frosty-Brain-2199@reddit
I was also sad once many many years ago
prng_@reddit
Had a captain pulling the yoke as pm because he felt my rotation was too slow on a B738. When asked about it he lectured me that I almost caused us a tailstrike because of slow rotation so he had to intervene
ywgflyer@reddit
Hold on, what?
Does this guy know how to fly an airplane, at all?
prng_@reddit
Actually I find that quite fascinating: flew with him a handful of times and beside that situation everything related to flying was perfectly fine. He had been flying for 20 years and I had not logged 1000 hours yet
SunnyPlays02@reddit
Wait what? You were the FO of a Boeing 737-800 BEFORE hitting 1000 hours? Man I'm tryna be like you lol
prng_@reddit
:-) i guess you are american. I took the MPL route
SunnyPlays02@reddit
Oh hahaha that's awesome man. Definitely jealous - very beginner level CFI
MBayMan94804@reddit
I’m not a pilot, but I’m pretty good at trig, and that doesn’t math at all.
shaun3000@reddit
Um….. you’re supposed to rotate slow in an 800 specifically to prevent a tail strike.
prng_@reddit
Indeed!
shaun3000@reddit
Fun fact: depending on your FMC configuration, there is a takeoff pitch report buried in there somewhere that tells you exactly how your rotation speed was compared to the ideal.
ljthefa@reddit
We get a printout at the Air Line, I'm pretty consistent at 2.25°/sec
shaun3000@reddit
Of course you do. 🫡 🧑✈️ 😜
Proton_Energy_Pill@reddit
When I was a 747 F.O I flew with a few weird Captains but there was only one that I really had trouble with, and I thought he was extremely dangerous and told the office that I refused to fly with him anymore.
He made no attempt to follow our SOP's and I had no real idea what he was doing too much of the time. And apparently he thought all that was my fault.
He could physically fly the plane okay but everything else was a disaster waiting to happen.
AIMIF@reddit
Guy was telling me a story about how he was really into photography and lighting effects recently. Goes big into detail about smoke and laser refraction, camera aperture, exposure, the whole nine yards. He’s very into it and it’s a long flight and I’m bored so more than happy to indulge as he seems like a cool guy.
He explains how he drew inspiration from the Pink Floyd dark side of the moon album cover for this pet project. Finally gets through all of the explaining, asks if I would like to see the final product. I’ve just sat through 15 minutes of explanation, so I’m absolutely seeing this.
The “moon” and focal point of everything we’ve been building up to are just full on nudes of this guy’s wife. No warning at all, just surprise nudes
NitroDragonAnvil@reddit
Flown with that guy as well and got the same story
hope_i_no_get_banned@reddit
You must be my coworker! I heard a lot about this guy, but never met him or flew with him. I heard he got let go for that...
AIMIF@reddit
I don’t know for sure, but there are dozens of us at the company with a similar story
Kein-Deutsc@reddit
Nothing boring about the PC24 I imagine
Mrs_Fagina@reddit
That seems like an invitation. Just testing the waters with a sort of “my wife and I like your vibe” feel
poser765@reddit
lol Jesus what an absolute legend
CATIIIDUAL@reddit
Once flying on A320, I repeated ATC instructions by saying “tracking direct xxx.” The captain who was an old ass got pissed and told me what do I mean by tracking because we are flying a heading and then turned on track mode on the FCU and shouted at me “this is track.” I honestly didn’t know what to say.
DanThePilot_Mann@reddit
Taking their hand off the thrust levers below 50feet on the landing (both on yoke). Makes me very uncomfy
UnhingedCorgi@reddit
Pretty sure I do this and I thought it was fairly common although now I’m not so sure
DanThePilot_Mann@reddit
It’s basic airmanship to not do this, i have held students back from soloing due to this habit.
UnhingedCorgi@reddit
Yea I’m not talking about a 172. If it was so bad, I’m sure someone over the past 10 years of 121 and 135 flying would have said something
scul86@reddit
it's bad in a 172, and it's terrible in a 121/135 jet.
DanThePilot_Mann@reddit
What do ya do when i call a go around at 5 feet and both hands are over there jockeying the yoke? Sure you can move it back, but there’s already a delay in spool up, and reaction, why add more delay in finding the levers? If ya need both hands on the yoke, youre out of trim, if youre out of trim (by my company’s standard) youre unstable.
UnhingedCorgi@reddit
It’s a negligible delay. No instructor or captain has mentioned it. The second hand helps a lot with finessing input on heavier control surfaces even when it’s in trim.
Might be an aircraft specific thing too, I started using two back when I flew a Navajo (company insisted on it) and haven’t gone back.
f1racer328@reddit
Dude go to the gym if you need more than one hand to land the 737. That’s a pretty messed up and selfish thing to do.
UnhingedCorgi@reddit
It’s not about needing, it’s nice having a little extra touch.
f1racer328@reddit
Good luck explaining that reasoning when the FAA and NTSB are going after your certificates.
When a passenger buys a ticket they expect their pilots to be trained to their companies SOP, and I promise you it doesn’t say to remove your hands off the thrust levers and use both hands in the landing flare.
You’re also probably invaliding your landing data since you’re not getting on the thrust reversers quickly enough.
Hopefully you’re just shit posting.
UnhingedCorgi@reddit
Haha I’ve gained certificates using a two handed flare. Both with the FAA and company in-house training many times. No instructors, captains, examiners, or anyone has even mentioned it.
ywgflyer@reddit
Yeah, if you grab the levers the correct way and manage to find the TOGA switch on the first stab. No guarantees, especially if you're in heavy turbulence or unexpected crazy windshear and there is a big startle factor. It sure would suck to try to ram them up and only catch one, now you have a huge thrust asymmetry at 10 feet above ground with your airspeed low and you are in DEEP shit.
UnhingedCorgi@reddit
I think you’re overestimating how difficult that is to do, it’s not. But either way when we’re getting rocked I’ll keep one hand on TOGA for longer, all the way if need be.
poser765@reddit
I won’t tell you you’re wrong but I’ve worked for 5 airlines and in nine of them can I think of a single check or sum instructor that wouldn’t shit a brick if you pulled your hand off the thrust levers n the flair.
UnhingedCorgi@reddit
You sure about that?
poser765@reddit
Yes.
F1shermanIvan@reddit
What the hell, stop doing that.
Oregon-Pilot@reddit
what the
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
I have so many questions
Captian_Sidepipe@reddit
Yeah I’ve seen this so many times too, so stupid. Even seen it when it’s gusty and no ones hands were on the throttle for the last 50 feet.
hawker1172@reddit
If you need 2 hands to fly the yoke there’s a problem
bean327@reddit
autothrottle?
DanThePilot_Mann@reddit
Nope, CRJ
bean327@reddit
yeah that's not good
irishluck949@reddit
CL65 flair suggests no
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
My former carrier's village idiot was a real interesting one...
Allegedly pissed into a plastic bag in the flight deck because the cabin was on lockdown due to a medical emergency.
Lectured an FO the entire way home about being a real man because he didn't start the APU at exactly the right time.
Clipped nails in flight.
Ate sauerkraut in flight, then drank leftover sauerkraut juice.
Made openly racist remarks about a nearby group at dinner clearly within earshot on the overnight.
Wrote up completely routine caution lights because he had the memory of a goldfish (737 has a lot of orange lights, but after 20+ years you should know which ones are normal for certain times on the ground).
Big_Assignment5949@reddit
Wait, I like coming in F40. What don't I know?
doctor--whom@reddit
in anything other than a 700? or also in an 8/9/9ER or max.....
Big_Assignment5949@reddit
My line runs 9ER and 8 so thats what I do it on. I see the comment about tighter margins and the tendency to get behind all the drag and drop it in. Or set the mains down then the nose slams.
If the captain is landing it though, that doesn't really bother me I guess. They're supposed to know how to fly the plane. If they slam it, it was their landing. If its below speed, we'll wave off.
doctor--whom@reddit
Whats your technique for avoiding the roll instability at flaps 40?
I don't mind the drag or pitch attitude change but what I find annoying about flaps 40 is how it literally seems to change the aileron input necessary for wings level. But maybe I'm imagining all that.
BezosBussy69@reddit
40 in the -800 at least has a much higher likelihood of landing hard or inducing dutch roll during the approach. It's just annoying because as PM you're watching tighter margins and wondering if the guy is gonna put your teeth through your tongue at touchdown.
changgerz@reddit
i flew with a guy who i think must have been former navy because every single landing was flaps 40 brakes 2 and he would slam that thing on like it was a carrier landing. like bro the runway is 2 miles long and our gate is all the way at the end is that really necessary?
also he wore a maga hat on the plane during boarding with the fd door open every leg
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
MAGA hat during boarding is a pro standards call, make fun of me for that if you want. Fuck every part of that.
rckid13@reddit
I would do the same for a maga hat or a harris hat. It's not the right place for politics and if you're standing there while boarding you are representing politics to paying customers that the company probably isn't ok with
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
Correct.
changgerz@reddit
yeah i should have but you know at that point nothing is changing that guy. plus he was like a couple months from retirement anyway
rckid13@reddit
I've had more than one FO cancel the caution after seeing some number of lights other than three after recall on a single engine taxi. Fortunately I caught it each time and told them to press it again and see what was wrong.
Ornery-Ad-2248@reddit
Who’s gonna post the republic FO/FA vid of getting his hog air started
Ember17595@reddit
That was Mesa
Ember17595@reddit
What’s funny was the dudes girlfriend was also a FA but she wasn’t the one. Video was sent to her and she gave to management rest is history.
PM_ME_YOUR_PITOTTUBE@reddit
That video is legendary
ResponsibilityOld164@reddit
Someone posted it once, I later looked for it because I mentioned it to someone else, could never find it
ReconKiller050@reddit
Flew with a CA at a previous company that would haul a bag full of his trash from the entire trip around. Never wanted to go down the rabbit hole of why
ResponsibilityOld164@reddit
second time this guy was mentioned in this thread
ReconKiller050@reddit
Wow just looked up the other comment and I don't even think its the same guy. I don't know if I'm intrigued or appalled there is more than one guy doing this
ResponsibilityOld164@reddit
as someone else also said it really is the same 8 people
warbirdrr@reddit
CA discussed how the Apollo missions were impossible due to the Van Ryan Radiation belt, that aliens do visit us and recharge their vessels in clouds for interstellar travel, and then proceeds to obliterate the flight deck with essential oils to help him sleep at the overnight.
0/10.
No-Celebration8588@reddit
Had a CA tell me that push back tugs had to be heavier than the planes they were pushing. So I asked him, a tug pushing back a 747 is almost 1 million pounds? He gave me an emphatic yes.
100zr@reddit
That is funny. I guess to push my little GA aircraft into the hangar by hand, I must weigh at least 2,000 lbs!
rockingsiddi@reddit
Jeez how’d you pass your medical with that weight
Reallyveryrandom@reddit
The engine pushing my car forward has to be heavier than…. the car+engine???
🤔
changgerz@reddit
i have a weight watchers referral code for you
JT8D-80@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
itsirk09@reddit
Nothing will make you more idiotic, than being confidently incorrect. Almost unbelievable story, thank you for sharing :D
CptnMike596@reddit
Ima dude flying with a much younger and better looking female First Officer. One hour into our first flight of the trip together she’s feeling good vibes with the completely normal conversation we have been having and turns to me and asks: “so do you want to see pictures of my beaver?” Ever the gentleman to never say no to a lady, I promptly said “yes I do!” So we spent the next 10 minutes looking at some incredible photos of the Beaver on floats that she flies on her other gig.
She also thought she was hilarious with how she introduced the photos.
So did I. 😂 Good trip.
xdarq@reddit
We had a captain at OO who wrote up an FO for choosing not to eat out so he could save his per diem, got in trouble for calling a flight attendant a harlot, lost his check airman status for being an insufferable prick, earned the name Captain Dustbuster because he would carry a tiny vacuum with him to clean the cockpit, spent the entire flight on every leg making sightseeing announcements like we were on the Disney Jungle Cruise, and best of all, couldn’t fly for shit. He eventually got forced to retire because he failed too many sims after being on special tracking for a while.
BigBadPanda@reddit
Id rather fly with him than that guy who put his bible on the center pedestal.
Frothyleet@reddit
OK, emergency declared, let's hit the checklists. Start with 1 corinthians!!!
CarminSanDiego@reddit
Oh please don’t tell me this is true. I’m already dreading flying with racist boomer captains
rckid13@reddit
The ONLY person in my career to try to hand me religious material in flight was a junior FO who was probably younger than me. Jehovas witness I'm pretty sure but I was kind of ignoring him and didn't read whatever he handed me.
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
Those guys are retiring and dying off pretty quick. It's mostly just weirdos now.
cincocerodos@reddit
There's plenty of younger guys filling those shoes, sadly.
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
True, but I'd argue the numbers are still thinning.
ljthefa@reddit
We're all weirdos, especially the ones that don't think they are, in fact they're the biggest weirdos
CessnaBandit@reddit
"ever seen a grown man naked?"
xdarq@reddit
You mean Book of Mormon
BigBadPanda@reddit
No, born again COS based. Id rather fly with a Mormon.
velosnow@reddit
Bruce?! Can’t remember the name but oh that dude was special and most likely a lifer.
MiniTab@reddit
Definitely had a few weirdos in COS. I started a trip there the day what’s his name went on the murder spree… The rampers were telling us about a “no show” CA, and we thought that was so strange. Then later that day the CA I was with showed me a news story about him being on the run.
rckid13@reddit
There were two of those in ord. Both super senior but the one I immediately thought of was never a check airman.
xdarq@reddit
The guy I'm talking about was LAX based.
shaun3000@reddit
How does someone go from being a check airman to failing so many check rides that they get fired???
rckid13@reddit
At OO there were a bunch of really old Brasilia captains who had been on the Brasilia for 30 years and had never flown a jet. When they got rid of the Brasilia they were all forced to transition. I think for all of them the company let them try both the CRJ and ERJ which was very generous. If they failed both they were told to retire or he fired. There was not really another option.
I flew with multiple people who this happened to. Most were pretty odd but I honestly don't remember any of them being terrible pilots. I don't know why they had so many issues. The worst two captains I flew with transitioned just fine.
kiwi_love777@reddit
O thank goodness they forced him to retire.
You know he’d just make up stuff on those “tours”.
Guy was cray. Once he just said “o we’re flying over xyz town- home of the worlds biggest cheese wheel!”
Brought a little brush and told me about how he couldn’t bring his vacuum anymore because he was reported.
Rictor_Scale@reddit
The dustbuster idea is one of those toss-up insane or genius boss moves.
DatBeigeBoy@reddit
I’ve heard tales of this man.
MinimumMammoth9920@reddit
Haha. I’ve heard of this dude
MiniTab@reddit
Oh Geeze. When was that?
When I was a OO new hire on the Bro, I was flying with a guy that was fairly notorious (former crop duster). He failed training on the CRJ a few times, so he was stuck permanently on the Bro.
Anyway, one day we had a JetBlue jumpseater, and he was telling her how he was pissed that we didn’t furlough pilots (circa 2010), as it meant he had to take a pay cut when they reduced monthly guarantee to keep everyone on property.
Another time (same guy), I was landing in PDX on a windy day. Right after touchdown, he yelled at me for having the wrong crosswind controls. He proceeded to grab the yoke and twist it the other way, and damn near made us go off the runway. Then he said “Oh, sorry you were right!” Wtf?!
I didn’t know any better back then, but goddamn. Sure wish I would I did… He was a real piece of work.
xdarq@reddit
This was in 2020. The guy was a 30-35 year CA at the time. Former Bro LCA. Good chance you’ve heard of him. JJ.
CessnaBandit@reddit
lmao love how you ended with couldn't fly for shit. I don't mind the cockpit cleaner, some of them are a bit greasy
poser765@reddit
Anybody else reading this to see if you’re being mentioned?
slay1224@reddit
Yeah I’m kind of disappointed, I need to up my game.
rckid13@reddit
That's mostly why I'm here. But reading through this thread I've found multiple captains in here who I've flown with and I can confirm that the stories posted about them are true.
poser765@reddit
Nice. I don’t think I’ve flown with any of them, but definitely a number of stories here I’ve heard before.
HornetsnHomebrew@reddit
I never slurp when I drink the sauerkraut juice.
Worried-Specialist-4@reddit
CA consistently pointing out the “great tits” on female passengers boarding. “Sir, I have my own and I couldn’t care less.”
Frothyleet@reddit
lmao fast forward to that guy with his drinking buddies, "all the feminists SAY they want equal treatment but let me tell you about my day..."
landingKSEA@reddit
Nothing too crazy yet. Flew a trip with an older captain recently who was dating the FA (similar age) and he monitored the PA the entire flight. Every time she made an announcement he started smiling and giggling. Cute I guess.
usernametaken78523@reddit
At least she was the same age. You'd be surprised how many old geezer captains act as sugar daddies to the young FAs straight out of high school
TraxenT-TR@reddit
37 year age gap will definitely work out just as good as the last 3 divorces.
Go_Loud762@reddit
The food stories reminded me of a UA captain I overheard on the hotel van to IAD.
That capt was bragging to his FO about the cheap dinner he had the previous night. Across the parking lot was a gas station that had a meal deal: 2 hotdogs and a Coke for $5.
roehnin@reddit
to be fair that's a pretty good deal
condor120@reddit
Flat earther at my regional. Guy was nuts
IAmMDM@reddit
Seriously, a flat earther pilot? How do: navigation, flying from US to Europe via Greenland, flying to Japan via Alaska, magnetic north vs true north, etc etc, compute with being a flat earther?
Such-Entrepreneur663@reddit
Why are these guys everywhere
Lopsided_Camera_4908@reddit
Daughter said captain told her she was really too pretty to be a pilot - she should at the very least try to not to look pretty🙄
Grand-Jacket-8782@reddit
Had a 60+ year old captain I flew with a long time ago that had obsessions that would rotate with each month. You name it. Motorcycles, watches, guns, classic cars, silver, gold, credit card perks, rare bottles of whiskey, to name a few. Once the month was over, he was onto his next hobby. He was super nice, overall, and had some hilarious stories from “back in the day”. He would get absolutely plastered on rot-gut whiskey almost every night to keep him from drinking the expensive stuff. I still wonder how he’s doing, these days, if he’s even still alive.
Chappietime@reddit
In my 135 days, we had a guy delay a flight for 4+ hours because of high headwinds. Oh, and I once flew with a guy that would fly 100+ miles out of his way to avoid a headwind. Like he would fly straight south 100 extra miles so that he didn’t have a direct headwind. Still had a 50-60% headwind though.
MikeOfAllPeople@reddit
See this is why Foreflight is good, so you can show people why this is mathematically stupid.
llamachef@reddit
Military, it was his bunk time, so he goes back, closes the door, few minutes later comes out dressed up in a robe with round glasses and an electric candle and slippers, all Ebeneezer Scrooge meeting the 3 ghost style. He did other strange things on the jet and out bases and all too.
Airline, Houston based captain with his spurs and Texas belt buckle and dip spent the whole red eye from Guatemala to Newark telling me how the Roman Empire is the basis for all modern civilization
Such-Entrepreneur663@reddit
I actually would just love to fly with both of those
llamachef@reddit
C-5 flying meant you could bring pretty much however much you wanted as long as you had the muscle to carry it
JumboTrijet@reddit
I was a new-hire FO in a DC-3 in the mid nineties. We were flying through heavy rain and it was leaking around the overhead escape hatch on the CA and he was the pilot flying. He asked me to take the controls for a couple of minutes. He gets up to go to the back and returns. He sits down, opens an umbrella and says “I got it”.
rckid13@reddit
That just sounds like good problem solving.
sell_out69@reddit
Had a CA told me how TWA 800 was a false flag attack but when it was clear the NTSB wasn't going to play ball the US Government had to do commit another attack: 9/11.
rckid13@reddit
My base has a guy who is known to believe just about every conspiracy theory. 9/11 are his favorite ones to talk about. He's also into Qanon stuff.
aftcg@reddit
Way back in the real XJT days this goofy af CA decided to buy a wee put put scooter while on a RON somewhere in MX.
rckid13@reddit
I had a flight attendant who bought a 70 inch TV on an Oregon layover because Oregon has no sales tax. He made sure the back row was empty on the flight home and he strapped it into the seats.
This-cant-be-wright@reddit
Wooooo. Moped Boy made the cut. Ha ha.
Working_Football1586@reddit
Ever seen someone eat yogurt with the end of a banana
Neither-Way-4889@reddit
Ever seen a grown man naked?
Aggressive_Let2085@reddit
Ever been to a Turkish prison?
fallingfaster345@reddit
NGL I saw someone do this literally two days ago. Maybe it was the same guy haha
usernametaken78523@reddit
I'm a CA and I've been an FO.
CA who micromanage. They usually and aren't confident in their abilities to fly the plane. They are projecting something in the past when they constantly micromanage. Putting hand on gear lever when not asked, telling you to do something one way, these things.
FOs who try to "run the show" or have an attitude problem.
rckid13@reddit
The worst right seat captains are the super senior ones who could have upgraded years ago too. They will tell you all about how they love their top 10 in base quality of life while trying to micromanage the captain. Just upgrade if you want to run the show.
RedAirRook@reddit
When I was a DC-10 engineer (mid 1990s) I flew with a captain who, when we got to cruise altitude on our first leg, placed a green, cartoony-looking frog doll onto the throttles, facing us.
A little while later, the FO reached out to slightly trim the N1s, and the captain slapped his hand and said, "Nobody touches Froggy!"
That damned frog was on the throttles on every single leg, and nobody touched Froggy. I still have no idea what that was all about.
Ramrod489@reddit
This is giving real Hedley Lamar (Blazing Saddles) vibes.
FRQLTGCCICCGCA@reddit
I flew with an FO who was terrified of solar radiation and would do anything to minimize the amount of the flight that was above FL180. He’d climb superrrrr slow up to cruise and then begin the descent as soon as he could.
If you’re that concerned about solar radiation, being an airline pilot is probably not for you.
Ramrod489@reddit
Flew with a CA who was super worried about this; he called our very confused dispatcher asking about it after checking some random website for a solar radiation forecast.
Grand-Apartment-546@reddit
Guy would go out to each line guy at small dinky airports and ask them if they were from the area. If they said yes, he’d then ask if their mom went to college around there. If the line guy got this far then the captain would proceed to explain how he went to school at the same college as the guy’s mom. Eventually telling the line guys that he used to date their mom back in the day
Dude was a pathological liar. Wild time
Ramrod489@reddit
“…wait, how old are you?”
A_Squid_A_Dog@reddit
Flew with a dude who was using a 90 degree metal straightedge to perfectly square the paper atis and such. He later told me that Dubai was a good place to live because of their excellent surveillance network that allowed them to execute their criminals quickly. Also he pans for gold on his FAI and ANC overnights.
DirkChesney@reddit
At my very jet job ever I had the guy to my left eat cottage cheese straight from the container. No spoon. Just slurped it down. He was an odd duck but a great pilot
ItsReallyLebron@reddit
Holy shit these are quite some stories in this thread…. Wtf😭
GrynaiTaip@reddit
Way too many dudes who don't really seem to know how to fly a plane.
EliteEthos@reddit
Land in the Hudson.
GrynaiTaip@reddit
Was it smooth?
F1shermanIvan@reddit
I didn’t witness it, but my FO and I found a toenail in the cockpit a few weeks ago.
I don’t even wanna know.
Working_Football1586@reddit
If you run out of Zyn sometimes you gotta improvise
bearscare20@reddit
I am a FA but during a bathroom break I was up front and the FO and I didn't say a word to each other which is fine. He pulled out a pair of nail clippers and started clipping his nails, letting them fall into his seat (yes he had a gray bag right next to him he could've used). So it was complete silence except for clip...clip.....clip...clip
fallingfaster345@reddit
Holy hell, what is wrong with that guy? I hope you called professional standards.
vanillanuttapped@reddit
So that's where I left it!
Bunslow@reddit
honestly i can think of far worse things to find than a solitary toenail
usernametaken78523@reddit
I'm going to put the blame on overnight MX just to make you feel better.
F1shermanIvan@reddit
I don’t know if that helps haha
Asieloth@reddit
Had this happen before. But only found one. I have a colleague at another base who found like a whole collection of toe/fingernails. I'm trying to imagine how one must feel to just bust out clippers and run a whole Mani/Pedi in the flight deck while your horrified colleague sits next to you.
Tall_Sherbert7375@reddit
Lack of crew meals
ananajakq@reddit
I’m a female pilot you should hear some of the shit I have seen these old guys do. Unreal. To name a few: Capt Showing me a slideshow on his iPad of the various Brazilian hookers he’s gotten. Telling me stories of “orgies” he’s had on layover I’ve had a captain show me a photo of his wife in underwear I’ve had a captain ask if we could hook up on the layover.
Wish I was joking. these are all very much real. It was specifically only done by the 60+ crowd. I’m in my 30s
Rilex1@reddit
flew with an fo who took a shit for 10 minutes during boarding. he said it was a bloodbath. i didn’t inquire further.
prex10@reddit
All the DCA 756 FOs know about the CA that clips his toe nails and is like 50% into dementia
TheSi11iestGoose@reddit
Buddy of mine once told the tale of a CA at his old regional, back in the good ole days, who would take a trash bag and collect soda cans from the trash cans in the airport to go recycle for a few cents. I thought he was joking until he showed me pictures.
Go_Loud762@reddit
Whew! Read through all of it and didn't recognize myself. At least not yet.
person-person-son@reddit
Flew a 17 hour “unforeseen circumstances” day with my least favourite CA. Afterwards we get to the hotel and he wants to have beers. I elected to go to bed.
The next day he reams me out, telling me that having drinks with him and the FA is an important part of the job and that being antisocial isn’t a good look.
What a dork
Phospherus2@reddit
A captain told me his entire life story unannounced for the entire flight. Would get into weird details too like who is daughter is sleeping with, his wife's strange habits, where he likes to buy certain groceries. I kid you not I might have said like 4 words the entire time. Dude just went.
fallingfaster345@reddit
I bet the trip went by fast though! I’ll take family gossip over political rantings any day. Sounds like your guy didn’t have anyone to talk to in his personal life though, which is kind of sad if true.
FlydirectMoxie@reddit
Flying for a non sked pax outfit. Captain carefully carves a hole in the styrofoam bottom of his box lunch, then through the bottom bun of a sandwich, and puts his junk through it all, covers it with the bun then summons the #1 and ceremoniously removes the top bun and says “do you expect me to eat this?” I think the engineer fainted, #1 fortunately responded, “only if you’re hungry.”
elijahcookiemuhamad@reddit
I know of a captain that pushes standard through 18000 with his bare foot
fallingfaster345@reddit
Barfffffff
Adlerson@reddit
Long time ago, in the before times, I flew with an OLD Captain in my 135 days. For some reason he and I got along very well. But I was the ONLY one he got along with. The company, line crew, hotel staff, passengers.. Picked a fight with everyone. Was fired once, they hired him back because the company sucked so bad they couldn't get people to fly for them.
Had a typical type A personality pax show up mid summer in south east Florida. He comes over to us and the first words out of his mouth are 'I have two words for you; No bumps'. Captain looks around at the sky, TC as far as the eye can see, then looks back at the pax and goes 'Do you have eyes?'.
Another time we were about to get to the hotel shuttle to head to the airport, I pass one of the hotel staff in the hallway. Poor guy is rushing past me, holding a light bulb, sweating. I hear him knocking on a door behind me, then my captain's voice call out 'Never mind!'. Turns out he thought a light bulb was burned out in the room, so he called and yelled at the front desk, read them the riot act. But what had actually happened was he just hadn't found the right light switch..
I will say this about the man though: He was a good pilot, and after one of our first flights together in the shuttle on the way to the hotel he said something that has stuck with me ever since; 'If you see me make a mistake please speak up. I may not like hearing it, and I may not always react well to it, but in flying it's about what's right, not who's right'. And that's a thing I've tried to take with me for the rest of my career.
fallingfaster345@reddit
“Do you have eyes” killed me. He’s just saying out loud what we’re all thinking!
dakk33@reddit
Flew a few trips with a CA that I’m pretty sure had a crush on me. (He’s a dude, and I’m a dude..) he would get noticeably upset when I didn’t wanna have dinner together or do other activities together and would get jealous if I hung out with any of the other crew and not him or even if I invited him it would be quite clear that he wanted it to just be he and I. Outside of that he was a really cool guy and a great pilot but and never made it weird and was all business in the cockpit but as soon as we stepped out of the airport all bets were off
slay1224@reddit
Had a captain pull out his binder full of printed off porno pictures. Early 2000’s, laptops and online porn were around. Otherwise he was a nice guy.
kiwi_love777@reddit
My girlfriend flew with him- she’d bust out playgirls when she was his FO.
He stopped brining porn on their trips.
ljthefa@reddit
I fucking love this
Significant-Pen-2274@reddit
Had a 5-day with a CA a few years ago who was normal enough for the first 4 days until he started launching into his various conspiracy theories. He made a point of saying "I'm not anti-Semitic", but then launched into a whole dissertation on how Jews are responsible for most of the world's problems and how Hitler was misunderstood. Imagine being a USAF officer and believing that the moon landing was faked. Longest two legs of my life.
Zero_Abides@reddit
We had an older CA at a USAir regional back in the 2000s that would explain to his FOs that he is not from Earth.
rockingsiddi@reddit
Very senior man on the left seat, however highly eccentric. Carried a big bag of lollipops. Used to offer it to all the kids on the plane. However one day when I was flying with him on the jumpseat and a trainee on the right seat, the bag fell down scattering all the candy. I bent down to collect it to return but he shrieked and made sure I don’t touch a single candy (maybe he was afraid I would grab one for myself). Then he throws all of them in his bag and gave me the dirty look. I didn’t bother saying anything.
PilotBurner44@reddit
Had a captain who was an Uber conspiracy theorist. I thought it would be fun to play along and go down the rabbit hole. Turns out the dude thinks space is fake, there is a firmament, satellites are a hoax (even though we were navigating with them), and that NASA is a government test to see if they can program humans.
But wait, there's more. While he talked about the usual conspiracies like COVID, vaccines, the antarctic, and the other run of the mill stuff, he pulled out a freaking magazine that said "Why Hitler is right" with a flattering image of Hitler in civilian clothes on the front cover. Mildly alarmed, I asked what that was about, and he told me all about how Hitler was actually a good guy and everything bad he did was propaganda backed by the big banks that were trying to take over the world and Hitler was trying to stop them. He actually liked the Jews, and they liked being in their camps, where they had a jolly old time with swimming pools, games, and they willingly went to other camps after theirs was shut down by allied forces. They marched themselves, with no supplies, to join another camp. Supposedly the guards weren't even guards, they were caretakers. Obviously the ovens and gas chambers were made up propaganda by the evil west.
Oh, and this dude, who flies for a major airline, is an FFDO.
Gold-Speaker4057@reddit
Long time ago..a friend was FO on a Braniff 27, while taxing he changed the secondary freq on the #1 radio…….the Capt came to a stop, set the brakes, motioned overhead, told the FO not to touch anything on HIS side, those were the days.
Oregon-Pilot@reddit
Flew with a very well educated, smart Polish captain who had another career as an IT guy. First leg was a transcon redeye, and that was actually very interesting because he taught me a lot about networks and internet security, etc in layman's terms. He also was sharing a lot of old school knowledge about block altitude flying and we even did some of it for shits and giggles, which was good refresher for stuff I hadn't really thought about since IR training.
Unfortunately, the interesting stuff turned into less interesting stuff as our trip progressed and by the time we were on go-home day, I was just begging for him to stop talking. It gets tiring having to nod your head "yep....yeah...oh wow....huh..." for hours on end. The worst part was that the day that I got home, I forgot I had left a request on my trip trade thing and right as I was at my local grocery store gearing up for the next 5-6 days off, I got a notification that a trip trade that matched my parameters had fired, and in just 2 days, I would be back on the road with the same guy again.
landcruiser33@reddit
The non stop talkers make it excruciating.
737driver12@reddit
A Captain trimmed their fingernails in the flight deck
CL350S@reddit
Hmm, let’s see:
Every meal was about 3000 calories. Would bring all kinds of food with him, such as the gallon size container of planters peanuts, a family size bag of ruffles potato chips, etc. Additionally he’d drag around 2-3 day old food he’d picked up “just in case.”
CONSTANTLY forgot shit either in the plane or the hotel that we’d have to turn around and retrieve.
Brought a Bluetooth speaker with him that he’d put on the glare shield just blasting terrible music while on the ground.
Said “I’m not much to look at, but I’m a hell of a pilot” right before landing in a crosswind without even an attempt at any correction for it.
Every action was motivated to find a way to get out of doing work. “Let’s just do XYZ so we can take a break” was a regular statement. Wouldn’t do the shit he was supposed to be doing until I had to tell him to, and would then say nobody had ever told him that before.
He’s in my notes as “the man with a chair for an ass”
EnvironmentalAct5612@reddit
Had a captain a week or two ago pull the parking brake on touchdown instead of putting the flaps up
Headoutdaplane@reddit
That caught your attention!
I was on the fire department for my small town. We got a call for an airplane crash at the airport. It was the local commuter in a 1900. They were on rollout from landing at the captain called for flaps up, the fo pulled up the gear. Problem except almost exactly in the middle of the runway lengthwise was a big bump. The plane hit the bump hard enough for the gear to come off the squat switch and retract the gear.
I was talking to the passengers as they got off and almost to a person they were like. What a great Captain kept it right on the center line.....
_Abe_Froman_SKOC@reddit
Used to fly with a guy on a test program that I only ever saw eat cold Dinty-Moore stew straight from the can. He also drank at least four monsters a shift.
He ended up quitting, cashing out his 401k, selling his house, and moving in with his ex-wife and her new husband. We did not ask any follow-ups.
Vincent-the-great@reddit
Was on ft with his naked gf during boarding and he “allegedly” jacked off in the lav on a 2hr sit.
OnionDart@reddit
Hey Vinny? That you? We had a great trip that week! Thanks for sharing!
Vincent-the-great@reddit
😭😭
grollol@reddit
Definitely the captains that ask to use there USB-sticks or nose spray to vape during flight...
ywgflyer@reddit
We had a new hire on probation do this in the forward lav in flight. Not sure if they actually fired him over it but if not, he came damn close. If you can't go a few hours without hitting the ol' douche flute, you have a problem.
FyrPilot86@reddit
CA who enjoyed golf with her flight attendant BFF’s so much more than I could ever imagine.
Zealousideal_Ad_821@reddit
Sitting in the Jetbridge talking to my coworker a YX captain steps out of the plane does the hands on hips, legs spread, lean back stretch and makes a weird comment about the weather I don’t remember.
He then gave us a 10 minute rundown on why loves flying to Kansas City because he loves BBQ and the scenery?!??, and that he has a friend that lives in a nearby town that he always stops in when he drives his motorcycle cross country.
We then had a disagreement on whether or not MCI was a hub for AA (it’s not) but he was fully convinced it was. Better than a A-hole demanding cap but it was an interesting experience.
rFlyingTower@reddit
This is a copy of the original post body for posterity:
What’s the weirdest thing a CA or FO has done? Weird habits? I’ve been lucky and haven’t had anyone too crazy. A common one is calling “speed” every single time we hit a gust and them suddenly pumping the yoke around like it owes them money the last 500’ of a landing for absolutely no reason. I’ve also had a captain go “No. Not confirmed. I don’t like it that way do it the other way.” When I put the initial fix behind us on a visual approach instead of putting a tail on it when we were on a base turn well inside of the fix.
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