ULPT Request: someone keeps hitting my car
Posted by Character-Town7929@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 72 comments
To be fair, my car is a piece of shit and I'm getting rid of it soon. It's scratched, dented, and very obviously in disrepair. But the person who parks in front of me on the street reverses until their trailer hitch is touching the license plate, and then reverses some more, presumably so they may park their very large vehicle without blocking someone else's driveway, as they do not own the unit they are parking in front of. My license plate frame is now cracked and the plate itself has a very large dent in it.
It does not matter how far back or forward I park the car, when I wake up the parking configuration is always the same: my poor, abused car is teabagged by their trailer hitch.
I don't want to confront this person face-to-face, as they regularly scream at the other occupants of the home loudly enough that both their screaming and female crying/pleading can be heard from down the road, throw things around (also loudly enough to be heard from outside), and generally do not seem very stable. I don't know wtf is going on with them, but I have a feeling that I should stay far away from it if at all possible. So. What to do?
Verified_source_@reddit
If there’s no cameras, slash 3 of their tires
jim_br@reddit
Put red Loctite on one lug nut first.
DoallthenKnit2relax@reddit
Krazy Glue the windshield wipers to the glass. 🤣
BumpkinByTheWater@reddit
At least 2 so it has to be towed
Bratchan@reddit
Camera... file police report, got to get some balls and also call police on them for any screaming and crying... BUT if you don't want to do that route at all
Make their car the piece of shit and pour fox piss into the vent.
Get acrylic paint and mix with dish soap and write on the window, STOP BEATING YOUR GIRLFRIEND WE ALL KNOW
Jerryrig a pool noodle to your car where it keeps getting hit, bonus if you make it say dumbasses hit the noodle
DoallthenKnit2relax@reddit
And if there's not a locking gas cap, pour some Karo Light corn syrup in the gas tank...it'll stall a distance away, if it starts, and will be out of commission for some time.
redprawns@reddit
This doesn't work. But sodium silicate in the oil does
SVTContour@reddit
Water is less expensive
DoallthenKnit2relax@reddit
And less expensive to fix.
iH8MotherTeresa@reddit
A good virus doesn't kill its host.
DoallthenKnit2relax@reddit
What are you talking about?
iH8MotherTeresa@reddit
I dunno why someone would downvotes you for asking lol
I'm saying is if op really wants to fuck the guy, drain his wallet. Sure, a huge one time cost is troublesome. But this is death by a thousand cuts, my friend.
The_best_is_yet@reddit
agreed. neither OP nore trailer hitch guy are a host or a virus
BeeFree66@reddit
Oh, now, we can't have cheap fixes!
Character-Town7929@reddit (OP)
Dumbasses hit this pool noodle is fucking hilarious, thank you
BAT123456789@reddit
If they don't have a car that is capable of being moved, then they can't hit your car.
LordOfTheBifrost@reddit
Steal the trailer hitch.
UnsympatheticMeercat@reddit
May i reccomend a piss disk
Opposite-Shower1190@reddit
Tape over the license plate would work too and it’s a little quicker to do
SeriousMonkey2019@reddit
Wait for a very rainy day then open their windows in a manner fitting this sub.
Beck943@reddit
It sounds like a domestic violence situation, and the next time you hear them fighting, call the police.
Not unethical, but necessary.
zamfire@reddit
Honestly this post sounds super fake anyway. I've noticed this trend from posters on here with over the top dramatic people who are highly confrontational and OP is too scared to do anything. Then people suggest things and they always have a reason it won't work.
This guy says their car is damaged often no matter how far away they park but is the damage getting worse each time? Or is it the same damage? And if OP isn't out there watching what if it happened at the store or something?
Character-Town7929@reddit (OP)
Late but I'm absolutely positive that this particular damage was from this guy. One day the plate is fine, the next it's cracked right where the trailer hitch is touching it. The prime suspect is clear
zamfire@reddit
I will give you the benefit of the doubt then
Character-Town7929@reddit (OP)
Yeah, this is a good idea regardless. Thanks for knocking some sense into me 👍
SalisburyWitch@reddit
Camera, car alarm, and police report. While it’s causing very little damage, it technically is striking your car.
xsmp@reddit
Maybe rig a booby trap that activates from being hit...a loud airhorn, or something.
Healthy_Candle_4545@reddit
Yeah something that would scare the shit out of them!
Fun-Machine7907@reddit
If they don't have a ball in, put a lock through the trailer hitch hole. Preferably something that'll stand up to bolt cutters.
Healthy_Candle_4545@reddit
Love this for them
The_best_is_yet@reddit
nice
diogenes_shadow@reddit
Piece of cheap window glass. Tape it over the plate. When he doesn't see it, he shatters it.
Pile of glass on the road but I bet he thinks twice next time
Healthy_Candle_4545@reddit
Why would he think twice about breaking a piece of glass that he probably doesn’t even know is there or is broken? I want to upvote but I’m not understanding the logic
iH8MotherTeresa@reddit
Tire valve stems hate electricians dikes. There are four on a car and one spare. Depending on how fucky you want to get, that info may become a thorn in your neighbour's side for quite some time.
A friend also told me a tory of a neighbour whose wifi was hacked while thieves stole their car. There is no video from their home security to catch the bastards.
katzohki@reddit
Schrader valve tool
iH8MotherTeresa@reddit
Less prevalent but certainly as effective lol
stankyranch@reddit
Is this a piss disc thread? This feels like a piss disc thread.
katzohki@reddit
They all are
SeriouslySlyGuy@reddit
Idkw I thought of piss disc golf, but I did
stankyranch@reddit
Ha! I mean if you are good enough at it, it would be a good way to sling a piss disc in there without being picked up by a doobell camera. Might take some practice...
Electrical_Parfait64@reddit
Call the police the next time they’re raging. Mention there is a woman crying and you’re concerned for her. He probably won’t react well and if you’re lucky he’ll end up in jail. You can also take him to small claims court about the repeated denting. Take a few days worth of pictures and videos
ideapit@reddit
Rubber solvent on tires.
IronNia@reddit
I SAW A GREAT VIDEO. Put small stone in the tire valve holder. So when you screw it on, the stone will push on the pin and slowly release the air.
saladasswhore@reddit
no cameras? glue razor blades under the car handles
bobby5557@reddit
Take pictures. You now have evidence of car damage done by them.
Teweview@reddit
Install a locking gas cap.
snoops-spoons@reddit
Just wait till you see it touching again and call the cops. He won't do it ever again. Don't say anything to anyone just call. They will go knock on the door and find the owner and tell them you saw him do it and it looks intentional. I wouldn't mention any previous times....
callsitlikeiseenit@reddit
👍🏻 It is property damage which is illegal.
OriginalIronDan@reddit
Everywhere that I’ve lived, the license plate technically belongs to the state. That would mean that he is damaging state property.
Responsible-Cow5828@reddit
Park in the space he currently occupies.
partycanstartnow@reddit
I like this. Not an ULPT but would certainly stop the hitch from cracking the license frame further.
hownownetcow@reddit
Every time their hitch touches your plate, let air out of the front, curb side, tire.
Abystract-ism@reddit
Zip tie a rubber chicken onto the trailer hitch. It’ll make a weird noise when they back up into you.
HyperactivePandah@reddit
You wake up, his trailer hitch is against your broken, bent license plate and plate holder.
Take pictures and sue him.
zLampShade@reddit
Judge:
"How do we know he did those damages?"
HyperactivePandah@reddit
waves arms wildly
richempire@reddit
I don’t know what teabags means in this context but I’m assuming it means to hit, if so I would call the cop as he’s hitting your car and not leaving any information. You don’t want to get a new car with this ass hole around because he won’t stop hitting it. The problem might be against you, not your car.
PixieStyx8@reddit
Teabagging is a form of trolling/humiliating used most often in FPS video games where the player goes over to another player they've just killed and squats over their head rapidly in succession, like the first player's testicles are a tea bag that they are dipping in water. OP is likening the trailer hitch bashing their car to this action
richempire@reddit
I see.
Campandfish1@reddit
Move your car, take the hitch out and deliver it to them through their rear window
Sure_Acanthaceae_348@reddit
Angle grinder.
PhilMeUpBaby@reddit
Oh, he's got a short temper?
Remove the rear licence plate.
Add some anti-police stickers.
Or, just get some tools and remove the trailer hitch.
schirmyver@reddit
There are so many ULPT options and if you browse this sub you will see lots of them...
I do agree though that if you think this is a case of DV, someone needs to call the police.
superpoongoon@reddit
Fox urine is oddly specific
schirmyver@reddit
It's just that it is available at gardening centers to put around flowers to keep the rabbits away, and it really stinks.
EmperorGeek@reddit
And oddly available.
bionicallyironic@reddit
And oddly smelly.
Freshouttapatience@reddit
Fox urine is oddly rancid I hear.
bionicallyironic@reddit
Get a white balloon and fill it with a mix of tempera paint in a neon color and water. Attach the balloon to your license plate (white balloon so it blends in) and when he backs into your car, he gets a neon paint job. If you use tempera paints, they’re water soluble and will come off.
HyperactivePandah@reddit
Piss spike in the gas tank
ozzy_thedog@reddit
Absolutely take the trailer hitch as a first step. If he keeps hitting your car you can return it through his window.
Exaveus@reddit
There are laws in some states regarding use of a trailer hitch without towing something.
You'd be doing him a favor by taking it off and throwing it under his truck that way he doesnt get fined.