Have you ever purchased something, as an adult, that your parent has judged you negatively for? If so, what was/is it?

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IamNATx@reddit

My mother continually judges me for buying grated cheese or shredded lettuce ... even though I am disabled and struggle to grip & use utensils...

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ResidentNo6441@reddit

Well I collect/read/play comics, action figs and TCGs, so yeah…

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Polz34@reddit

For me it's tickets to events. My parents think because I'm 41 (f) now that I should just not like and want to go to Wrestling or Rock shows 🤷‍♀️

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Specialist_Sport4460@reddit

A lot of that generation seem to associate having fun with being a child. A lot of them are also miserable. I wonder if there's some connection?

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Embarrassed_Ad2016@reddit

These are memories she’ll have forever. Some of my most vivid memories are concerts I attended in high school a LONG time ago. I would’ve love either or both of my parents to have gone w me.

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rdxc1a2t@reddit

My Dad surprised me with tickets to a Rammstein show back in the day. I didn't even know the show was happening! And that show awakened a love of live music for me which also lead to me seeing Maiden on pretty much every tour in the last 20 years. You're giving your daughter a real gift!

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missyrainbow12@reddit

My first gig was rem as a 13 year old that my stepdad surprised me with on the morning of the gig, he woke me up, said we had an errand to run, I came down all confused, he showed me two tickets and I had the best ever day . Can't stand the man but it was the best thing he ever did and the bestest ever surprise.

100% know what you mean. When I was 13 I saw the last ever We Will Rock You (I was obsessed and had seen it 12 times maybe 🤣) and Brian May and Roger Taylor came and played and since then I've seen Queen with Adam Lambert maybe 6 or 7 times? Even once at the Hollywood Bowl in LA.

Taking my daughter to see Beast in Black this year, she'll be 8 when we go. It'll be her first metal gig! Our local venue only allows children from 14 for alternative shows, younger for pop bands. I can't wait! Going to see Black Stone Cherry and Bowling for Soup locally before that one.

Mine steals all mine and her dad's CD's (I'm not complaining) and has a growing collection of t-shirts. She looks super cute in them, and we like to do matching.

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NoNewspaper9016@reddit

My dad took me to my first ever concert when I was 8…. It was blink-182 on their 20th anniversary show - June 2012 ish, still to this day one of the best shows and most core memories I have!

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FoxOwnedMyKeyboard@reddit

You sound like an ace parent! The absolute stellar experiences you're giving her and the memories you're creating will awesome.. ❤️💙🩵

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pip_goes_pop@reddit

My mother in law is very "cultured". Likes opera, museums, art galleries, churches etc.

So she is most dismayed that my wife and I go out to comedy gigs, rock concerts, strongman competitions and fun places abroad like the miniature museum in Prague and the chip museum in Bruges.

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AnGof1497@reddit

You missed out on the Currywurst (curried sausage) museum in Berlin.

https://currywurstmuseum.com/

I dream of going there.

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GlamorganTestesWard@reddit

There’s a chip museum in Bruges ? I thought a place could not get better when having lunch and beer in October sunshine in the main square there, but a chip museum !

“Barbara, start the car.”

Thanks for the heads-up ❤️

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pip_goes_pop@reddit

Ha enjoy! The last part of it is eating chips too!

https://frietmuseum-brugge.be/en/home-en/

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My mum is hilarious for this. If you buy anything above the bare minimum you get the whole “that’s expensive, I’d be happy with a black and white tv/2nd hand jumper from primark/static caravan by a petrol station for a holiday” speech.

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Spiderinahumansuit@reddit

For my mum at least, yes. She's capable of some stunning double-think.

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blackberry_sorbet@reddit

God, my mum says this to me all the time. She goes on holiday about 5 times a year with her partner who's loaded. Meanwhile I managed to scrape together for a 4-day solo trip to Italy last year, and she acted like I was living a life of luxury. How does that make sense?

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Dependent_One6034@reddit

My mother bought a smart tv, a few years after they originally came out. It wasn't good pretty sure it was only 512mb. It was really shit, but she paid £200 for it, and because it was knocked down from £1200 that was a big purchase. It broke probably 8 years ago? I did have a look, it wasn't a backlite issue, but I don't really do small electrical work, and know what the tv is worth so meh. but no. She wants it repaired, because it was expensive at some point before she bought it.

She still has the bloody thing.

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damianidris@reddit

Maybe she grew up or was in survival mode for a bit

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UuusernameWith4Us@reddit

Poor for a few years in the 70s so has to be a bitch forever more aye?

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inevitablelizard@reddit

People who watched the Four Yorkshiremen sketch and saw it as an instruction manual instead of comedy.

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jayphelps57@reddit

I spent my very first months wages on a bespoke suit… my Dad was furious and considered it a gross waste of money… but it changed and improved my life forever! No regrets!

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daern2@reddit

I spent my very first months wages on a bespoke suit…

Showing my age but I was 17/18 in my first job, had nothing to spend my money on besides a bit of board and maybe a few pints at the weekend, so I randomly decided to collect DVDs. Would buy like 3+ a week at full price (like £15-£20? Don’t remember exactly) - was a significant chunk of my wage.

Shortly after they instantly became obsolete and worth pennies and then downloading/watching online really took off. Didn’t even watch a lot of them.

I cringe about it now, could’ve easily put away for a mortgage back then but I was never taught to be good with money as my parents never were either.

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Regular_Number5377@reddit

We may be the same person, I did exactly the same and built up a massive DVD collection that has followed me like a bad smell for the rest of my life and is now occupying one wall of my home office.

I wouldn’t stress about it, end of the day when we were that age everyone blew their money on something, it’s just part of suddenly having real money for the first time

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ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel@reddit

You’re right, definitely most people have squandered much in their youth. With the right guidance tho, it’s easily avoidable.

I ended up flogging all mine to music magpie for like 20 quid lol, oh well. At least you still got them.

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AluminiumSandworm@reddit

part of that is cost of living increases

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60s_Child@reddit

As George Best famously said, "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

he was misquoting Mark Twain, from his 1872 book Roughing it

"Part went for liquor, part went for women, and the rest I spent foolishly"

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Dependent_One6034@reddit

I mean, if you aren't nuking your potatoes first before baking then you're doing it wrong.

I can get it crispy on the outside and soft in the inside.

Lightly coat in oil and salt and prick with fork, put on tinfoil for 20 mins on 220, flip, 25 mins on 220, cut in half, salt, and cook inside up on 220 for 5 mins.

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Away-Ad4393@reddit

They save money long term and short term.

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Expensive-Draw-6897@reddit

Also time.

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Dependent_One6034@reddit

To be fair, i'm mid 30s and when the air fryer stuff started (I also remember the halogen oven stuff...) I bought myself a stand alone deep fat fryer. Then she bought an air fryer and it's better. It simply is.

Deep fat fryer is now only used for certain things in a row - because of the oil, so we do a month of sweet treats and then a month of battered fish/meat. Then oil change...

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InternationalRich150@reddit

I have 2 kids, a tefal air fryer and a Ninja double stack air fryer. Couldn't live without them! Even do pizza in the Tefal one!

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Medical-Apple-9333@reddit

I like my air fryer too but to call it my child would be too far I reckon.

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Rigamorph@reddit

🤣🤣

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lewisw1992@reddit

Reddit likes to circlejerk about how amazing air fryers are, but I've never met a single person IRL who recommends them.

Isgortio@reddit

My dad was the same. "You kids and your bloody air fryer, I don't want one of them". My brother bought one and now my dad is always raving about how good it is and how he can cook food quickly and it comes out nicely. Yep, like we've been telling you for years dad...

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Banes_Addiction@reddit

My Dad does this with everything. Microwave, home computer, smartphone, dishwasher. I only won the air fryer war about 2 months ago.

The best bit is he then becomes an evangelist for them and tells everyone else how great they are, only to be met with "yeah, we know, we've had one 5 years".

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kittykat7931@reddit

Mine raves about roast potato’s in it…..

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Banes_Addiction@reddit

I don't usually do them from scratch but I eat a shocking amount of Aunt Bessie's as a side dish now.

Took roast potatoes from being a big time investment to literally 30 seconds to chuck them in and 15 minutes for them to cook while you do other stuff.

It's made OK roasties less effort than pasta or new potatoes.

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Potential-Ordinary-5@reddit

9 in 1 Ninja Multi Cooker is the way forward. Slightly more expensive than an air fryer but it does everything. Steam, bake, pressure cook, air crisp, dehydrate, slow cook, sauté.

FlakeyBeano@reddit

When my mother was small she kept them at home and they nested in a shed. Grandad built a pen and they'd strategically move it around. About 100 or so iirc. There was a large one called grandpa who sired most of them and they breed prolifically so just bare that in mind.

I wish, but I don't have them amymore, one passed away amd it wasn't fair to keep his brother alone, so hes been adopted by a lovely lady with 40 other birds on her land.

He now has a heated coup with a television - i hear he is very keen on frozen on dvd

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Powerful_Balance591@reddit

Sounds like he’s got a good life!

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Leader_Bee@reddit

Yeah totally, I miss them both but he's doing well.

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Most boomers think everyone younger than them is lazy.

For example, my father has eternally deemed my in laws as lazy because they didn’t help clean up after Xmas dinner one year.

I have a system (the kitchen is my domain all day) and I have a dish washer. I also love cooking on Xmas day because it’s the only time each year I get to cook in a relaxed manner without some deadline to hit or miss.

Despite me telling everyone that I’ve got everything covered, my dad said the in-laws were lazy and didn’t get off their “fat arses” all day.

Utterly bizarre.

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yoloswaggins92@reddit

A tattoo at 18, they weren't too pleased as they still believed in the old stigma around them etc.

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Whosaidthat1157@reddit

As an adult, I don’t give a damn about any parental judgment.

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thelaughingman_1991@reddit

Tattoos, lol

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FuckedupUnicorn@reddit

My father doesn’t know I’m heavily tattooed (full sleeves and other bits) I always wear long sleeves when I visit.

I’m 54.

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Gingy2210@reddit

Are you me? I'm 54 too and heavily tattooed. And yes I have to wear long sleeves every time I visit. The best though is my son is a tattoo artist even more tattooed that me, face tats the lot. My father has never said a word when he visits. Something about him being a small business owner and hardworking. The real problem my father has with tattoos? I'm a woman and tattoos don't belong on women.

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FuckedupUnicorn@reddit

Think it’s the same with my father. Women shouldn’t be tattooed, but he has a heart with a dagger through it on his forearm with an ex girlfriend’s name … my mother gave him grief for it for 40 years though tbf

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RebeccaCheeseburger@reddit

I used to do that with my dad (im a woman) as when I just had a couple he used to tut and roll his eyes, so when I got a sleeve and a chest piece I’d wear long sleeved in the summer, and one time I was tipsy and was like, you know what I have tattoos, I know you won’t like them but I have them, I was getting my knuckles done so couldn’t hide it any longer.

He was surprisingly accepting, I don’t think he liked it, but he was fine.

Spiderinahumansuit@reddit

I did see an article recently discussing a paper which confirmed exactly that: when people get wealthier, the first thing they do is buy their time back with stuff like cleaners and gardeners.

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ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel@reddit

And so they should, it’s the smart thing to do since time is the greatest currency we could ever have.

If trickle down economics really worked, there would be way more examples of this. If just cleaners, more of us could afford cleaners, thus giving even more people jobs.

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40something_milf@reddit

It will be the first thing I will budget for once the money is there!

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Bus8082@reddit

I had a cleaner come once and I felt way too awkward with them in my house. The whole set up was also dodgy as shit as they didn’t speak English, cash only, dropped off by a weird man.

My partner has been out of work for 3 years and we are lucky enough that we can still afford to live, but there were quite a lot of cutbacks to the household budget.

She has an interview on Thursday. If she gets the job and the first month looks good, we are going to be having a conversation about getting a cleaner to come in on a weekly basis because neither of us spend anywhere near enough time keeping on top of looking after the house.

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plantsncats128@reddit

As soon as I started earning more money last year, the first thing I said to my husband was "let's get a cleaner".

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folklovermore_@reddit

All my couple friends who have a cleaner say it saved their relationship, and they're not entirely joking.

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oni_666uk@reddit

Spending £7k on my Night Vision Monocular & Thermal imaging monocular. (PVS-14 & PFN Falcon 640+).

My dad thought it was a waste of money when he said I should be buying a new car (my old one I scrapped 3 months ago as it was nearly 10 years old, owned by me for all that time).

He's happy to spend 10s of £1000s or more on Electric Guitars, but my hobbies are pointless.

What he fails to understand is some NV and thermal monocular's don't actually depreciate in value, they can actually stay pretty close to what you originally paid for them and as we've seen in the last few years with various "special operations", they actually increase in value and become a necessity in times of conflict.

Unless he buys another 1963 Fender strat in Sunburst red, its not actually going to increase in value, unless its rare AF.

BTW, my hobbie is night hiking and animal watching/tracking (I don't hunt).

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AndrewHinds67@reddit

Cigars. I like good quality premium cigars that are expensive, yet she asked me "why don't you smoke them smaller ones like Tom Thumbs?". Because they're horrible little shit stick, that's why.

My first car. I bought a 5 year old Vauxhall Cavalier hatchback after passing my driving test. I went to my mother's house and she said "why didn't you get a cheap runabout to get you from A to B?".

I just find it really immature. It's not like we gloat or are frivolous with money, and we work hard and don't ask them for anything.

Why can't people just be happy for others, jfc 🤣

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Breaking-Dad-@reddit

Ok? Isn't the post about the things you pay for that your parents / other people think are extravagant? The point was that it's about priorities. Living modestly in many areas that let you afford the things that people think are extravagant.

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redsquizza@reddit

Oh and we dont do credit cards!

You should, tbf, for the rewards.

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Chlorofom@reddit

Bought a car and house in the same year, got told we “have more money than sense”

I saved for both of those, really hard, I actually sacrificed a lot of disposable income so I could have my own things. I have a job, a wife, children, a car, a home, no debts outside of the mortgage, I’ve paid off my student loans, loans I had to take because I got nothing from my parents when I went to Uni. They’ve already told me I won’t get any inheritance because they’re spending it all before they go.

Oh, and I have two siblings, in their early and late 30s, both still live at home, both still with debts, both with no real career just moving from one job to another when they get bored. And I’m the one with no sense…

I love my parents, but sometimes I think I am who I am in spite of them, not because of them.

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MagicalDragonMum@reddit

Do we have the same Mum? She never spends any money on herself, therefore thinks it's frivolous if I do. Or buy something that isn't in a sale. If I get something new "Is that new?" Me yes or no. "Those are expensive" or "So, how much did that cost?" Or "I wish I could afford that" (she could).

My main guilty pleasure is LEGO, but it is cheaper than a therapist, and that's what I tell her. 😂

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alexotx1@reddit

My mother is the same. Such high expectations of money, it’s got to the point I’ve had to make boundaries now.

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InsaneInTheRAMdrain@reddit

Older generation had it easy they could afford a house and holidays on 1 income.

Also older generation, spending money on self is a sin.

The 2 sides of reddit on boomers clashing.

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skate_2@reddit

Silent Generation were very different to the Boomers

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How much does that set you back for the dee clean every fortnight?

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onlyhalfpolish@reddit

My mum judges me every time I book a holiday. For context, I never went on holiday growing up (like, not even once), so naturally when I turned 18 and got access to the money my Grandma left me in the will, I blew all of it (5 figures) on holidays. No regrets at all.

I’m in my 30s now and still enjoy a holiday (because life is too short). I earn good money, my partner earns good money, we’re homeowners, we’re DINKs. But GOD FORBID I go abroad. HOW DARE I spend my hard earned money on travelling as she spends her retirement doing naff all.

I’ve still not told her we’re going away again next week because, quite frankly, I cannot be arsed with the argument. She’ll see me on Find My Friends next Tuesday at a vineyard in Cape Town and I’ll deal with the consequences then.

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Chipcobandtea@reddit

Private health insurance. My dad thinks I’m queue jumping and people who can’t afford it are dying as a result.

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I thought there was a cost of living crisis, I seem to be living in a different world to all of you , cleaners and concerts and festivals and foreign holidays, I’m lucky to have two meals a day and the heating on

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Weird-Assumption-782@reddit

I knew my mum would judge me for having a cleaner, it took my therapist to remind me I didn't actually have to tell her! 😂

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tooktherhombus@reddit

It took your therapist to remind me I don't have to tell my mum things too. Thank you

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Mavisssss@reddit

Oh, same! I got the judgement from my mum because I bought one bottle of Bailey's to put in my hot chocolate around Xmas and then she thought I was an alcoholic because I was drinking alone (I live by myself). I was only having one shot in the hot chocolate and only one hot chocolate an evening.

I still can't bring myself to keep alcohol in the house, even though I might like to make myself a fancy drink occasionally.

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bluephoenix39@reddit

My mum doesn’t know about 2 of my tattoos because I don’t need the negativity that would come with it

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ch536@reddit

It took me having kids of my own to be like hold on a second, I don't actually need to tell my mum every single detail of my life for her to give me her negative opinion...

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Grommmit@reddit

She’ll give them either way?

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abananatotheleft@reddit

Up until my grandma passed away in her 90s, my mum (in her 70s) would worry about what she would say/think about something.

This is why I pay for a delivery pass for supermarket deliveries. It saves me 3 hours a week of travelling, shopping, paying and packing, loading in the car and driving home again. Plus I'm less likely to be tempted by the crap they put out to catch your eye for impulse buys as I meal plan before deciding what the supermarket is bringing me for the week.

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ice-lollies@reddit

I think it’s a good way for me to think about things I spend my money on.

Agree with the online shopping. I also found it very helpful when my kids were little and had no car.

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TheSecretIsMarmite@reddit

I started online grocery shopping when I was pregnant with my second and couldn't reach into the bottom of the trolley easily (he was a big baby) and havent looked back.

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MathematicianOnly688@reddit

He’s not wrong.

My brothers company has a rule that if they have to travel anywhere that’s more than a 5 minute walk they MUST take a cab.

Sad but ultimately time IS money.

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Kuddkungen@reddit

Information diet is my favourite diet. :P

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TastyKing7411@reddit

On that note, you just reminded me that I made the mistake to tell them I had started with a therapist during the pandemic, it was short, just about 8 months but it really helped me to process things at the moment. They thought I was crazy (hence the therapist) and got so worried about me, and when I told them it was to process things they said stuff like "thats what you have friends for", "just go to the pub", "just tell me", etc. So, I did not tell them when I started with a new therapist last year!

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Ok_Holmes@reddit

This is so relatable. My mum always says, "I didn't need that." Like she doesn't medicate any negative thoughts or emotions she has with alcohol. But I could never say that. 🤣

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LandofGreenGinger62@reddit

SO much this, from Dad & Stepma (now both passed on)... "We lived through World War 2 and we we never had any of this counselling nonsense! You're all just weak-minded!..." etc. etc.

If I was feeling mean, I used to say, "Well just cos you didn't get it doesn't mean you didn't need it..." and the steppie would hit the roof... 😏

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Plastic_Doughnut_911@reddit

My mother once bought me a set of “worry dolls” so I’d bother them not her… 🥺 photo is not the actual set, just a picture from the interwebs… but this is essentially them.

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TwoValuable@reddit

My mum the other day was saying how her cousin's adult children always dump their problems on her when they've got partners for that. She's glad me and my brother don't do that.

I told her I think it's sad we can't tell her when we're having problems whilst all she does is dump her problem's on me and my brother constantly. She got super angry and tried to use the excuse that she doesn't have a partner so she can do it. And I told her maybe she needs a therapist to process all the (admittedly quite traumatic) shit she's gone through the past few years.

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cityfrm@reddit

I have a reverse difficulty with mine. She dumps all her problems on me, even though I'm a disabled single parent with PTSD and she's happily married.

She was babysitting for me for one hour (a rarity) whilst I was having an autism assessment and setting up support for PTSD. She started telling me her problems again on the way to my hosp app, and I had to tell her I couldn't take it on right then as I was preparing for my appointment. She was enraged and shouted, "I'll remember you don't care about your own mother's problems next time you want me to listen to you". Funny thing is, I've never been able to tell her any of my problems. She blamed me for being assaulted by a grown man when I was a teen, and I've never told her anything again. That day, I was setting up treatment for PTSD from domestic abuse and years of court trials, and she hadn't supported me with any of it. Yet there she was, threatening not to listen to my problems because I wouldn't let her complain about her not getting enough inheritance on the way to my appointment 🫠

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Lady-of-Shivershale@reddit

My mother was always 'worried' about me as a child, teen, and young adult. Even when I was fine. So I never tell her when anything is actually wrong because vocalising all that worry just felt like a way to try to control me.

I moved abroad in my early twenties. She ruined our final weeks together because she spent every minute we had going over, 'What if...' situations.

People aren't actually any more likely to come to harm in a foreign country than at home. In fact, your family, friends, and neighbours wish more harm on you than a stranger.

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bornfromanegg@reddit

You have my sympathies.

I wouldn’t use that last argument with her though. It’s absolutely a fact that some countries are safer than others.

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WitchyRedhead86@reddit

Wise therapist. By a certain age, we’re not answerable to them and we don’t need permission to live our own lives.

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I'm sorry, I can't believe the fact that you got an A* in your GCSEs and yet you still can't afford to live in a £750k house in the same street as your parents? Obviously you're a failure and have squandered your opportunities.

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Realistic-River-1941@reddit

TBF I could afford to live in their street. They are up north, I'm in London.

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ledow@reddit

I have to keep telling my parents that their house is worth three quarters of a million (the same value as you said, but they disbelieve it even more if I word it like that).

They don't get it. I've bought three houses in my lifetime, and the last was the cheapest / smallest of them all because, on my own, I simply can't afford it.

And at no point, even earning a good wage and living with someone who also earns a good wage, would we ever have been given a mortgage for three quarters of a million pounds. It just simply wouldn't happen.

"Yeah, but the house across the road sold recently".

"Yes, dad. For half a million. And it has two tiny bedrooms, no garden, no front drive, and it looks like shite. Your house is three huge bedrooms, a massive garden, a front drive with off-street parking, a garage, .... "

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JdotAllan@reddit

After I started going to the gym regularly I began buying protein powders and supplements etc. My mum basically had the opinion I was "buying drugs" and that they "weren't normal things to be buying and taking".

Because she didn't understand it, didn't want to, didn't like the packaging and was very much of the thought process I should "just eat an apple or have a sandwich instead"

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Gulbasaur@reddit

I remember my mother almost accusing me of using steroids because I bought some creatine when I was about 22.

She relented a bit when I pointed out that if you can buy it in Holland & Barrett it probably wasn't steroids.

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ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel@reddit

lol my grandma recently went super funny with me because I take creatine… that I bought from the internet.

I explained that it’s extremely well studied and actually would benefit most people, regardless if you work out or not.

She just sees it as “drugs from the internet”.

Meanwhile my grandad was on about 20 pills a day due to him sitting in a chair for 20 years with an insulin jab in one hand and a Mars bar in the other. While she brings him his 3rd desert of the day.

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Hannah_B92@reddit

I feel ya. I get this with taking collagen and magnesium

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WeirdPinkHair@reddit

A 4 slice toaster. I know, ridiculous right.

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ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel@reddit

You can afford 40k on watch lol I wouldn’t worry about it.

A lot of them do / eventually will appreciate tho. So that could be something to consider next time.

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head_face@reddit

While they are obviously very refined timepieces, having a Rolex isn't really about being able to reliably tell the time.

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simundo86@reddit

I wouldn’t consider it a waste if you could afford a 40k watch at least you can say you had one

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SeveralFishannotaGuy@reddit

My ex’s mum went off on one because we spent ~£10 on a cocktail recipe book, apparently it was “a waste of money” and she would not drop it!

ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel@reddit

A few years ago my mum and younger siblings were hooked on that too.

They used to rush home from work and school and instantly hop on start fishing for rainbow fish or whatever it was lool

She also has never been a gamer other than that period. Candy crush did have a choke hold on her for a couple years tho.

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No-Mark4427@reddit

Honestly devices like these are great for older people who are less mobile, at least get some sort of fun/stimulation and use their brains a bit instead of rotting in a chair. Stuff like Dr Kawashimas Brain Training is good as well for some puzzle action.

My dad is nearly 70 and started playing Minecraft on the computer and it's the primary thing he plays, pretty sure he's been playing the same save/world for the last 5 years.

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Friendly_Win_4523@reddit

Omg this is adorable. Also made me realise how much my dad would like Minecraft!!

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Cheap-Rate-8996@reddit

I have given her Minecraft as well. She said she wasn't keen on it, "I couldn't get past the graphics". She said it made her feel dizzy, lol.

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No-Mark4427@reddit

My GF is the same - I always have to fiddle with the settings on games like that (Field of view, motion blur etc) or she gets motion sick.

When the money arrived in my bank account, I went a bit dizzy. Asked them about it and they were like ‘well, it makes you happy, and life’s too short’. WTF?!? What changed.

Without knowing your parents, I imagine there's a mix of things at play here. The first is that you 'proved yourself'. At 18, gaming might've felt like a risk to them, something that could derail your future.. By 30, you've clearly shown you can earn, function, and still enjoy games. So the fear disappears.

The parent–child dynamic also changes a bit between 18 and 30. Back then, they still saw it as their job to steer you. But now, you're just another adult they care about. That changes how they treat your choices.

But the most likely reason is also the simplest. It does sound to me like they just got a bit older and mellowed out about life in general. It's part of the reason why grandparents are often 'the fun family'. Your perspective on the world changes. As you get older, you start to realise a lot of things you're getting hung up about just... don't matter.

Random_Nobody1991@reddit

My parents were a bit like that (don’t cause issues, but probably aassumed I’d grow out of it) until my sister would go out with someone older than us and they too played video games.

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Bus8082@reddit

Same. I was banned from having any video game as a kid, now I play my switch for hours at a time and no one can stop me.

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walkunafraid7@reddit

Dreamlight Valley is my current unwind game - I was chastised by my mother for buying an expansion pack in January.

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noodledoodledoo@reddit

My dad has always loved to moan at me for being messy (which isn't untrue, I have a lot of stuff and not a lot of storage), even since I moved out. Meanwhile my mum has been picking up his dirty pants from the floor for decades and it's 50/50 whether he'll manage to actually piss inside the toilet...

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Lady-of-Shivershale@reddit

Exactly. I live halfway across the world. My parents know very little about my life. But fuck my dad for making fun of my husband for doing laundry!

As a kid, my dad was the good parent because he was fun and my mum wasn't. Jesus, do we all know why as adults. Most of our dads did nothing at home except make fun of their 'fussy' wives.

chickenandbisket@reddit

I'm a US citizen

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mentaldriver1581@reddit

Oh, so many things I’ve been judged for by my in-laws. Hats off to you and your husband. Disregard what your narcissistic FIL says: it’s just noise.

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Secure-Career-2016@reddit

Same. Cleaner is a good investment for time. We're not here for long, don't spend it cleaning.

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daniluvsuall@reddit

A simple version of the story..

I needed a new car, my old one was bankrupting me in fuel (25mpg!) my dad offered to lend me some money for a car. But, when it came to buying what I want (I was borrowing the money remember) he said no (I wanted a convertible) so I got finance on my own and did it like that.. which was expensive, but I didn't really have much of a choice.

All he did was moan about it, like he had to drive.. not.

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Kelsiersdaggers@reddit

Kinda with your dad on this one. You patched your old car as it was costing you money, then get finance on a convertible? In Britain? Fuck sake.

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daniluvsuall@reddit

What car I wanted is irrelevant. If I’m being leant the money, I get to choose how I spend it. You don’t lend people money then tell them what to do with it.

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Kelsiersdaggers@reddit

You can say it doesn’t matter. But it comes across wrong. Which was probably why your old man told you to do one.

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daniluvsuall@reddit

What’s also missing here is my dad was very controlling and was using this as a way to push what he wanted on me.

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okay let's assume that is the case, although I disagree with that statement - it is a gift with strings attached. The strings are the issue.

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Bus8082@reddit

Opposite to me, I’m very happy with my 2018 ford fiesta and my dad gave me a lecture when it was 6 years old that I should probably get a new one because old cars are bad.

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Clomojo87@reddit

Yeah my mum's like that, I bought a 89 MK2 golf GTI, she hates the loud exhaust and complains she can hear me coming from the next village. Point blank refuses to get in it because 'she likes quiet cars' and keeps banging on about how I should have gotten a modern electric car...

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Lassitude1001@reddit

I'm kinda glad my parents have always been the opposite of that. They wouldn't buy me things, but if I said "I'm going to get this thing, and it costs this amount, but because I'm going to finance it, it will cost extra" they'd buy it outright and I'd pay him the monthly instead. Anything to not pay interest!

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daniluvsuall@reddit

I wish my parents were that minded!

To be fair, they did help me with certain things - but it did make me very independent as an adult.

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OverlordPanther@reddit

Decent shoes. Costly but not designer brand costly. Waste of money apparently. All those costly ones I bought lasted years with loads of use. Cheaper ones, lucky if I got a season out of them. Saved money long term but to them it never negated the so called waste.

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yolo_snail@reddit

Food from the premium ranges in supermarkets.

I'm a sucker for the Taste the Difference range in Sainsbury's. She insists that it's not worth it, I do believe that you can taste the difference.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a cheapskate and buy a lot of the value stuff, but every now and then I like to just buy the decent stuff

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Spiny_Norma_Dog@reddit

My dad told me I was an idiot and wasting money buying fresh produce at Aldi and Lidl! Said I could fill my freezer with frozen fried chicken and other processed foods from Farm Foods for less. Apparently, everything I'd bought was rubbish and should be thrown in the bin.

I was gobsmacked because 1. My dad (and my mum) had been the ones that taught me to cook using fresh ingredients; and 2. He'd had a heart attack due to his poor diet less than a year prior.

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noodledoodledoo@reddit

I bet he doesn't eat frozen farm foods stuff himself either! There's loads of people with this very specific attitude where they think everything is a waste of money, except when they do it of course!

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Lady-of-Shivershale@reddit

I swear that my parents just hate food.

Like, in the eighties there wasn't much variety and appliances were expensive. That began to change in the nineties.

It's not a crime to throw some basil into the salad.

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beardedslav@reddit

“What’s wrong with mild cheddar?”

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dratsaab@reddit

Oh, you mean training cheese?

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Rich_27-@reddit

"Cheese. Sit"

"Stay, stay"

Bog standard cheddar, on council issue white bread, with Lurpak spreadable butter is just liquid sandwich.

It's all you need, nothing more.

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GretalRabbit@reddit

Some people eat food because they have to stay alive rather than to enjoy it (I don't understand these people at all, but my dad and his mum are / were like that!)

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mortstheonlyboyineed@reddit

I always felt bad for my dad. He was definitely a foodie. Loved eating and exploring different foods and flavours. My mum eats to live and salt and pepper are the extent of her experimentation with flavour. She HATED when I was in charge of Christmas dinner! However she will only eated branded foods even if they taste poor compared to an own or independent brand. Processed all the way for her as well. I wouldn't mind but she tries to make anyone who eats normally feel guilty for it. Since my dad passed away and im in charge of her solo shopping its actually sad for me to go around a supermarket. I used to get all sorts of bits knowing my dad would like it all and get some enjoyment from his food but with mum its so damn boring.

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GretalRabbit@reddit

Sounds a lot like my mum and dad- luckily for me my mum did all the cooking when I was growing up, after she died I gradually took over cooking for family events- dad can cook but isn’t interested in anything complicated and there will never be leftovers.

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Wretched_Colin@reddit

I'll bet she would roll her eyes if you either have a tote bag for the shopping, or else pay for a plastic bag when you're there.

ApplicationSouth8844@reddit

I’m with your dad on this one, not because I think anyone is lazy, but because I once hired a cleaner and I don’t think I’ll ever do that again. It was more hassle than what it was worth, and I found myself cleaning just as much in preparation for her to come and clean. Money down the drain, just my experience.

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Rich_27-@reddit

We used to have an Eastern European cleaner who took absolutely ages to do anything.

Bugatti veyron

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Rich_27-@reddit

I have one as well

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qubine@reddit

I deeply appreciate the books in the background.

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Ok_Tomato4687@reddit

Now we must join the owners club

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Ok_Tomato4687@reddit

That is awesome.

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DuncesOfWur@reddit

Taking my kids to the cinema...

"You'll be able to watch that on the TV soon!"

Sorry, but your mum is trashy.

Sad-Nectarine-7855@reddit

The guy who runs my local post office is south Asian and judged the quality of my address labels 😂

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Internal_Tip3975@reddit

😂🤣 Yikesss

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Sad-Nectarine-7855@reddit

Literally fitst time I went in, he scanned it, put it down to type out house number and post code for proof of postage, rubbed the label with the tips of his fingers, looked me square in the eyes, held it up and said "these labels? Very cheap, not good" 😂😂

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Internal_Tip3975@reddit

Only the best can stay here 🤣😂

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damianidris@reddit

That sucks ! How old are you ? I’ve grown and moved away from the community so I don’t experience as much

I love my parents and I'm genuinely in a happy spot with them. All those years of trying to gain their approval, the GOSSIP. Ever since I moved back to India it was constant gossip. I genuinely have reflections, realising I wasted so much of my teenage years being 'good' and in the midst of gossip and rumours. Well, I woke up today and decided not to do that anymore.

A little while ago we put an offer in on a project house that would have taken a lot of work to get liveable but it was a good deal and a 6 bed plus it was about 500 meters from where we live. We own a nice house but do need a bit more space so we put an offer in.

My father in law keeps his vintage car in our garage. Takes up half the storage room and really annoys me but thats another story. This new place doesn't have a garage so he would need to pay to store or sell the car. He started coming up with all sorts of terrible consequences if we bought the house. We would lose £200k in value in the first month, the power bills would be at least 5 times what ours are now, and it went on. This was all despite the fact that my wife, his daughter is head of property law at a good size law firm! In the end there were some things we didn't like on the legals so we didn't take it but wow he went on and on!

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PompousTart@reddit

We would go without food before we go without our cleaner! Apart from getting a clean house, it brings a lot of domestic peace.

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I sometimes buy geeky things, and the same cycle repeats itself when my mum visits. This started the first time I bought a proper, black series lightsaber:

Mum: “what the hell is that? Oh god, how much did that cost?”

Me: “Try it”

Mum: “this is so stupid….”

she switches on the lightsaber and immediately smiles like a kid

“It’s very sad - a waste of time!”

Proceeds to watch brainrot TV all evening

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koalateacow@reddit

My mum complains she never has time to do anything. She watches TV every night from 5pm-10pm. I mean, she's 70 so fair enough but dont complain you dont have time when you spend 5 hours a day watching murder dramas.

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Simbooptendo@reddit

My dad watches sooo much TV

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SkullCowgirl@reddit

When I was 21 I brought myself a £400 (or thereabouts?) laptop. My dad was a bit surprised why I didn't buy myself a nice windows 98 PC...in 2009.

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phatboi23@reddit

my dad was like this.

until he wanted something 3D modelling and 3D printing, then i told him my hourly rates.

i did it for free as i'm not a complete dick but it proved my point.

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Leader_Bee@reddit

I mean, when you look at the price of an RTX 4090 or similar I can begin to agree with him.

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thejadedfalcon@reddit

The thing is, I'm a heavy gamer. My old PC was just unable to keep up with anything even remotely new any more, so I needed to upgrade. In this environment, where hardware costs are spiralling out of control because of the obsessive AI fad.

I spent £7,000 in January for a massive watercooled rig that's going to hopefully last me at least ten years, just like the old one did. I'm still waiting to learn if that was the best financial decision I've ever made or the worst. Are prices going to skyrocket even higher or will they crash tomorrow?

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Leader_Bee@reddit

There's talk about routing computation power throught he cloud, so who knows? Graphics cards might not be a thing in 10 years time.

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thejadedfalcon@reddit

I think that's going to be the worst thing I've ever heard of.

I'm sure it's technically feasible to overcome inherent issues with ping and connection stability, cloud gaming has come a massive way in a few short time period. But it's still potentially a really shit experience from person to person and even from day to day.

But I have absolutely no desire to spend all of my money renting a PC from a megacorp and not being allowed to buy my own rig. It's predatory as hell in its current forms (looking at you, HP), vastly more expensive in the long run and if it becomes the only way to play, rather than just an option, well, I still have an Xbox 360 in the attic and plenty of games to enjoy.

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My father almost disowned me for buying a dishwasher. 'Can you not be arsed to do dishes?' Actually, no, after 20 years of being nagged about dishes every single day when I lived with him. And picking up every other chore in the house as soon as my Mum dies. Same when I got my robot hoover.

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ShowerEmbarrassed512@reddit

I’d really like a robot hoover but our house isn’t the right kind of house for one

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Parfait-Fickle@reddit

I was late to the dishwasher party too, life changing aren’t they. I think it’s my 3rd favourite item I own (car and phone first) that I’ve ever purchased.

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rainbowdrop30@reddit

I tell my partner that my favorite thing about moving in with her is that she owns a dishwasher lol

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ledow@reddit

Same.

My parents don't get it.

For about 10p I can wash all my pots, pans, plates and cutlery for the entire week.

I don't "rinse" anything. I scrape, but don't rinse. I just have never needed to.

The cost is pathetic, both the machine and the tablets, etc. Even the water is heated more efficiently than my electric boiler.

The "stacking" of plates, etc. takes seconds. Especially if you just use the dishwasher as the "dirty plate pile" directly all the time. As soon as I clear up a meal, I just stick the plates in there even if I don't start the machine straight away.

And I can press a button and just walk away. Which is STUPENDOUS value immediately. That's a good hour of my time back.

"Oh, but the plates sometimes don't wash as well" - Oh no! So I... leave that one plate in there, and it gets washed again next time! Argh!

"But you have to buy tablets!" - The savings on water, electricity, soap etc. alone justify that, let alone time and effort.

My ex- and I bought a little tabletop one when I first moved out of the family home, and it was a revelation to me. Even if I did have to take it apart about once every six months to clean it and fix it. Since living alone, I've ALWAYS had a dishwasher. I ordered one in the first week of living alone.

Also, wait until you discover:

Cleaning brushes (e.g. washing up brush, toothbrushes you use for DIY/hobbies, etc.) clean really well in a dishwasher.
Washing out bottles, tins etc. for recycling by just throwing them in the dishwasher.
I have silicone coasters, silicone mats, silicone spoon-holders, all kinds of things, and they all can be dishwashed.
Every now and then I'll pick something up and think "Hold on... could I just dishwash that?" and the answer is almost always "Yes". Yes, I dishwash my knives and scissors. I don't care. They don't go blunt like people claim (and they're cheap so I wouldn't care if they did... resharpening them would STILL take less time than washing them over years).

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LordSolstice@reddit

Honestly I dont get people who are against white appliances.

Washing dishes by hand, drying clothes on the line.

WW2 is over, you dont need to do that shit anymore.

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inevitablelizard@reddit

Drying clothes on a line uses less energy, and your clothes last longer. They're correct on that one.

Don't argue with him.

Ask him to look in the mirror.

Ask him when is the last time he mopped a floor or cleaned the shower.

With your step mum present.

Don't argue. Ask questions.

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Academic_Ad_9260@reddit

My dad hates everything I buy for myself because it's too childish to him

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AE_Phoenix@reddit

Gender affirming healthcare

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Baby8227@reddit

“Alright Jim Royal, when last dod you hoover?” Would have been my answer to him!

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Sea-Breaz@reddit

I feel this OP. My mother and sister judged me lazy for having a cleaner. For context, my parents and sister are hoarders and barely ever clean. They claim they’re too busy (because they work part time). I’ve always worked full time, until I had my children and relocated to another country for my husbands job. We have no childcare support. So we pay for a cleaner, like you, twice monthly so we aren’t spending our weekends cleaning and can drive our kids to their various activities. According to my mother, who regularly dumped us on my grandmother, and my sister, who now dumps her kids on my mother every weekend, told me i was lazy (as if I don’t clean my house at all in between). I’m now no contact. And the peace is bliss!

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unchartedfour@reddit

Oh my dad thinks everything I buy is dumb. But he really hates if I get a tattoo. I’m in my fkn 40s. I have made good choices in life and happy, married. I wish he’d look at all the positives in my life rather than try to look for negative. And my tattoos are usually something about a place I just traveled to, as a reminder of what was important on a trip. Not all places, but really special ones.

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Training-Assistant79@reddit

Joined the Navy at 16, hated it and left after basic training.

It really gave me doubts but I still went ahead and bought a cocker spaniel boy pup. He is my absolute best friend. I wouldn’t be me without him these last few years. He’s so funny. Keeps me accountable and I’m still never in because we are always out walking!

I didn't purchase it persay but I got a suitable car via PIP to suit my husbands disability. He struggles to pull himself up from a low car and he needed doors that opened extra wide. She went mad coz I could have got a small car so she could use it too.

A soft toy Rudolph who plays Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer while his nose flashes in time. I was an adult when I bought him; I just thought he'd be a cute thing to have as a Christmas decoration. My mum absolutely went for me - "you wasted money on that? It's a child's toy! Honestly, Batty..."

I still have him and get him out every year. He still plays the tune, but quietly, and his nose is getting dim, but he is about 38 years old with the original batteries (they're sewn inside). I still love him, but he always reminds me with a jolt of Mum's reaction. It still smarts.

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Forsaken_Hat4607@reddit

That sounds so cute! I would love to have a Rudolph like that for Christmas. I do have a little ghost with light up eyes that I like to put out around Halloween.

I’m sorry your mum reacted like that… my partner and I are both adults but we like to buy each other the Jellycat little stuffed toy vegetables sometimes, and they make a cute decoration for our flat all in a basket together. His mum thinks it’s childish of us, but I think life would be a lot less bright if we never let ourselves care about things that are small joys.

I think the other reply to your comment is probably right that if you didn’t want to try replacing the batteries yourself, a seamstress or tailor could probably do it pretty easily!

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jflb96@reddit

It sounds like the sort of thing where either you love it or you don’t live with it. I’m sorry there’s such a memory attached to him.

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DragonToothGarden@reddit

Another one has joined fhe club, so glad you're also having fun.

Some parents, esp those from certain cultures where females are subsets, ma,e that attitude even more difficult to deal with. I'd rather ride, pay for and accept the risks than never live my passion and end up like my mother.

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DingoBingoWimbo@reddit

Literally! Yeah, I kinda got a bike on a whim, my friend and I decided to do the CBT one day. Mum was totally against it, and I realised I found motorcycling really scary. For some reason I can't accept being ruled by things tho, be that other people or my fears. Now I find it fun 🤭

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DragonToothGarden@reddit

I also a,ways had a very healthy level of fear. When I didn't leave mysel room for error during club racing, stupid, expensive things happened.

Scariest moments were the race starts in Novice 600cc class. 40 guys in thejr 20s, mostly with too much testosterone and maybe one other woman along with me. Most of us clueless, just waiting for a pileup.

Despite her raging and cutting me off, she secretely admitted that her lifelong dream was to ride a Harley and learn to play drums. I told her go do it, you have the money, all sorts of classes easily available for both, Harleys weren't my thing but I 2anted her to actually live her dreams.

"No. I can't. husband would be too upset. And when you really love someone you do what makes them happy. Which mean sif you really loved us as parents then you'd stop this nonsense."

I at the moment only have one tattoo (would like more it's just narrowing down ideas, finding artists, money etc) which I got a few years ago in my late 20s.

My dad seemed somewhat fine with it when I said I was getting one (not approving but I think that 'well i can't stop you') and then it was my eldest brother who was freaking out over it. I decided I wanted a crow and my brother for some reason was acting as if this was akin to tattooing a pentagram on my forehead and that it would freak people out because crows are 'bad omens'. When I'm like pretty sure 95 percent of people would just be like 'Oh a bird' and no joke we got in like a three day long 'argument' over this.

He was also convinced I would get 'addicted' to tattoos because apparently he had a late friend who was like that and it's like... ok but I'm not your friend? I'm a very different person I've broadly been a fairly level headed and fairly sensible person so you'd think that would work in my favour but apparently not.

And then after I got it he was like 'Oh that's not actually bad'

A cat figurine, looked cool in the shop so I bought it. My dad had given me an allowance because I was looking after my little sister so much. But when I came home with the cat and new Incubus CD he flipped out, told me he expected my 14 year old ass to be saving it.

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BPD-93@reddit

Video games. 32 and a mother. My Mum thinks I should have grown out of this by now. I don't think I ever will.

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No-Translator5443@reddit

Tools and then my dad will used them it’s kinda funny

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yourefunny@reddit

I had a cleaner and gardener growing up and my Mum was a STAHM! Ha! She became such close friends with our cleaner, Val, that she basically became like a second Mum to my Mum ha! I have pretty much had a cleaner since I left Uni. Admittedly I lived in Asia where everyone had a 'maid'. One of them over the years, Yo, used to make me curries and other food every week. An absolute legend!

Excellent_Dot_5084@reddit

Many lava lamps 😭

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Excellent_Dot_5084@reddit

Many lava lamps 😭

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Actual-Audience8165@reddit

Two rescue dogs.

But now they love them.

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markymark0123@reddit

I imagine my mom is silently judging me for buying Pokémon cards at 36 years old.

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trekmystars@reddit

Organic milk. Until I showed them it lasted longer so it made more sense for someone living alone.

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StrawberryDry1344@reddit

My dogs....they have been a lifesaver for me literally and my mental health. Every single time I talk about money my mother asks me if I regret getting them? Even though im just talking about general bills going up etc, I havent had any big bills for them yet. But she goes on. I dont spend money on myself other than my pets so I feel justified.

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bettyswollocks22@reddit

You’ll never regret having a cleaner!

When I went back to work after 2 consecutive years of maternity leave and only living on one income (my husband’s), the first thing I wanted to spend my salary on was a cleaner.

You enjoy your spare time. Life’s too short for cleaning.

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madcow87_@reddit

My dad was a biker all through my childhood but sold his last bike when I was in my 20s. When I turned 30 I finally got my bike license and rocked up at his house on a bike. He was not amused.

Initially he was furious with worry tbh but within a week he was furious that he didn't have a bike. It's been 8 years and I'm still waiting for him to buy one.

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RevolutionaryLaw4140@reddit

Having a cleaner can be an investment as the energy you save from not cleaning, and the energy you get from having a clean house, can be used to help you maintain your better paid job, or move up to an even better paid job. Sounds like your dad has issues.

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_hariarchy_@reddit

Apart from the sports car I bought, not a whole lot. My parents are a bit esoteric themselves, so they don’t care much about what I buy as long as I can afford it.

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commissarcainrecaff@reddit

Oh dear Lord: all the damn time.

Every single thing they 'can't see the point of" is a waste of money and pointless....regardless of the joy it brings me or my family.

And double whammy- my religious fundamentalist teetotal vegan in-laws are the same but turned up to 11...

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Mavisssss@reddit

Your in-laws sound intense. My mum is the most frugal person I have ever met and I feel that I'm always judging myself by her standards. She didn't even use bin liners until recently and just cleaned out the bin every time. Everything is secondhand and eco friendly. I'm just a regular person and can't really live up to all of it.

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Icy_Place_5785@reddit

Religious fundamentalist and vegan …

So you have a cleaner in twice a month, and your dad has a cleaner in every day?

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BackupThunder16@reddit

Thankfully no, I'm young but I never lived with my father and he's always been very open about his finances just like I have, we're both skint lmao.

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Cha_r_ley@reddit

My friend gave me some judgement years ago because I bought a Macbook Air. She said I could have bought a much cheaper Windows laptop.

I said yeah, I could have, but I specifically wanted something much more portable than my previous laptop (this was in 2011, they were generally much chonkier and heavier back then), and I’d already had two Windows laptops, which just hadn’t lasted well and had both become painfully slow within 2-5 years. I blogged and wrote a lot back then, so I just wanted a quick, portable tool for doing that on the go, and the 11”Macbook Air was a good fit for that need. I replaced it about 18 months ago with another Macbook Air, but only because it aged out of compatibility with MacOS updates* - it was still as speedy as ever for me to use.

I pointed out that a girl we worked with paid some extortionate amount for a Louis Vuitton or Michael Kors or whatever handbag, and she didn’t react this way to that purchase, because she ALSO likes designer handbags. Sometimes we just like certain versions of certain products, and as long as my bills get paid on time, it doesn’t really matter what I spend my money on.

*Yes that part DOES annoy me, but it is what it is.

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Latte-Addict@reddit

Not a football fan at all, I couldn't spot one teams colour from another but, many years ago, I bought a winter jacket that was apparently in support of Rangers FC. My Dad was a Celtic FC fan and went absolutely fucking ballistic, I got the full 'Dont you come in this house with that thing on'.

Sorry Dad.

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step_up_to_punchy@reddit

Legit, A Nintendo Switch. My stepmom nagged about it for like a week straight. About how it wasn’t a responsible thing to buy with my First Tax return. Just shut up! My dad thought it was cool. :)

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Da5ren@reddit

Nice hotels. Paying a little bit extra for a bigger room or just for a bit fancier a hotel. My family always mock me for it, “you’ll never be in the room” etc. but it really does make a difference to my holiday I think.

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My mum was awful for that, just generally you always felt guilty for buying yourself things. It took the pleasure out of it and as I got older it didn’t change any. Weird thing she was a spender.

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boba_toes@reddit

my mum called me 'lazy' for taking my car (which is a big-ish SUV) to the car wash to be detailed every couple of months.

How it's lazy? You earned that cash, you're spending it on something what makes your life easier.

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MintyCoolness@reddit

I also hire a cleaner every week bc my autism makes it hard for me to do housework. That's not laziness, that's pragmatism.

And I think that people who can't/won't take our word for it

Like, if you're unable/unwilling to smth, pay someone a fair wage to do it for you\~

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EUskeptik@reddit

My grandmother invested in an insurance policy that matured a few months before my 18th. It came as a complete surprise and I was very grateful that she had put scarce funds aside for me. She said I could spend it on whatever I wanted. We were close as she had brought me up for most of my childhood, my mother being incapable for medical reasons.

I was in my final year at school and had a Saturday job in the city centre. I had already accepted an offer from the local university which was poorly located for public transport. So I thought hard and decided to buy a small motorcycle for commuting, a Honda 50 ‘Cub’. It seemed to make a lot of sense.

However my mother and grandmother were horrified. My mother was particularly scathing. By then I was living with her and my stepfather. She wanted to ban the motorcycle but my stepfather persuaded her not to.

Her dire warnings about safety almost came true in my first week of motorcycle ownership. I was in traffic behind a delivery lorry that reversed without warning and squashed my Honda, writing it off.

So it was back on the bus to and from school, a journey of an hour and a half each way, and to my Saturday job in the city centre.

The insurance paid out and I immediately bought another Honda Cub. This time the family saw my logic and came round to the idea. They still worried about my safety but no longer criticised my judgement.

-oo-

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Theviolette13@reddit

Honestly? Any time I buy something of higher quality that may cost a little more because “you can buy a cheaper version”

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An at home IPL system (laser hair removal for those not in the know). £400 in the January sales on my Very account for a top rated one, paid off in 3 payments.

Mum was convinced I'd give up after a few goes because "they're not very good".

Mum and sis are fair haired, barely ever need to shave etc. I got my Dad's dark and hairy genes and can get like Bigfoot on minoxidil without regular grooming, especially on certain medications. IPL works much better on dark hair.

Went on holiday with the folks a couple of years back. Didn't have to shave once. Mum commented on how my moustache wasn't visible even in the bright sun.

IPL Mum. Only need a top up every few months now. Would've cost a fortune going to a salon for it.

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Key_Drawer_3581@reddit

That is pretty lazy.

Now let me enjoy my automatic coffee machine, robo vac, and automated lighting in insular peace.

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Naive-Vehicle-6845@reddit

I'm debating buying myself a hobby horse at 35 just for messing around in the garden because I'm too poor for a real horse. I can feel the judgment from my parents even before I do it. That's the only thing standing between me and Earl:

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iamsheena@reddit

Anything. 'Must be nice' is such a triggering phrase lol.

But on the cleaner: I cleaned houses for maybe 9 months and told myself if ever I had the money, I'd be hiring a cleaner. Convinced my partner to get one in this summer and after starting off with a not great experience, found someone great to come in every other Friday as well.

No need to play life on hard mode if you don't have to. Now I feel better about gardening and keeping up other things if I also have time to relax.

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BatsWaller@reddit

Piercings. People seem to think that once you’re over 40, you should stop wanting to adorn your lugs with lovely bits of gold and silver.

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JGZ1@reddit

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Digital_Palpitation@reddit

I'm American but live in Yorkshire, my parents are still in California...

So for a start my student visa/student loan debt to come here, the next student visa, and any other money I've spent to be here.

Any concerts or events I go to, because they don't believe I can afford it (I make shit money for the UK, I make like... Illegal wages for California. They are incapable of understanding relative costs of living and/or that tickets to gigs aren't $3,000 here even with scalper nonsense)

Any international travel that isn't to LAX. They (mainly mom) also don't believe that my job literally HAVE to give me time off, like as an actual LAW. And that that's been true no matter how bad/casual the job is. If I tell my mom I have time off she asks if I shouldn't save the days for when I'm ill.

My pets. same logic as above really, something that ties me to the UK and they're convinced I'm like one bad day away from being homeless.

Collectible stuff animals, records, anything childish or redundant really bothers my mom. She used to throw out/donate our toys without asking when we were kids, so the last time she complained my brother told her that his giant asparagus with eyes was still less than an hour of therapy for his "trust issues" and she hasn't brought that one up for a couple months now.

Dad generally doesn't care what else I buy, mom likes to complain when I spend literally any money on anything, but also worries I'll get depressed if I tell her I didn't do much over the weekend.

Yep I have no kids, no partner, very well paid job so why the fuck not.

So you can afford it. I truly dont understand people who judge you for "wasting your money" on expensive things, when you can afford them. How's that a waste of money? Thats literally what you have money and a well paid job for lol

Yeah, buying a Porsche is probably a waste of money if you're on minimum wage lol but if you're well off, why should you deny yourself a car or house you want, if you can comfortably afford it? It makes no sense.

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kanben@reddit

My image of a Porsche driver is somebody who just loves driving and is generally a good driver, with the exception of the recent SUV style Porsches

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Low_Relationship2434@reddit

An EV.

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amoozzz@reddit

My son has a JellyCat Teddy we call ‘money for old rope’ because my FIL complained when we bought it in a gift store.

He also told my husband he shouldn’t have ‘let me’ buy a £40 light fitting for our nursery when we were decorating because there was nothing working with the old one. It was yellowed plastic and from the 1980s.

There is an extensive list of things 😂

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Fickle_Acanthaceae17@reddit

How much does that cost please? To have a cleaner deep clean your home?

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PaddedValls@reddit (OP)

We are £25 an hour and she doesn't doddle or anything.

In, gets the job done right and back out again.

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GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit

I just don't understand people who have cleaners.

I mean, how do you trust them, for a start?

I just couldn't.

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peppermint_aero@reddit

You can be home when they're working, if that helps.

Do you really never have any other professionals in your house? Builders? Electricians?

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GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit

I watch them like a hawk!!

I've been burgled twice, I can't help it.

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peppermint_aero@reddit

I'm sorry that happened. That's not ok and you have the right to feel safe.

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LifeProject365@reddit

Everything I buy. Squat machine for my gym, 5 robots that clean and mow are the latest he disapproves of and no doubt he’ll disapprove of my laptop upgrade too

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jaffster123@reddit

I remember my Mum judging me when I first invested in Bitcoin (when it was £150 per BTC). I was an adult, I had moved out by that point and she told me to "stop wasting your money on internet scams".

A year later she also invested.

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TopAd1846@reddit

Cleaner as well, but more so because my parents didnt actually show me how to clean and organise properly, so work in progress with my cleaner. That and online shopping instead of going to asda or whatever is also lazy apparently

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sleepyvimto@reddit

My dad and stepmum are comfortably retired (no stellar careers, just great pensions and interest rates) and I would say they go on holiday 4-5 times a year and spend upwards of £100 a week in the pub. ANY non-essential purchase of mine (pair of trainers, a jacket, dinner out) gets a "have you ever thought that's why you don't have any money?"

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InternationalSpray75@reddit

Pretty much everything I’ve ever bought. Every time I go away one of them sucks their breath in before asking why I’d want to go there?. From the people who financially screwed their own lives and can’t afford to travel even if they wanted to.

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rolywatts@reddit

A house. A car.

House- “See I told you it was too much work. You should have listened to me.” Every. Single. Visit.

Car- “Is that thing still running. I don’t know why you bought it.” Every. Single. Visit.

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PiesPiesAndPies@reddit

A tattoo

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Goldf_sh4@reddit

The patriarchy loves to shame women for hiring a cleaner. God forbid a woman have a day off. There are far stupider things to spend money on.

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Hopefully about to buy a house for first time. My mother definitely is judging me hard, because I am choosing to buy a new build semi-D in a less desirable county vs building a big detached house in our home county. When realistically I am just happy to afford something decent in this current housing climate that won't completely cripple me finacially, I hope. Also if I could afford a detached believe me I would.

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throwawaythrowawee@reddit

I wonder if anyone else here has parents that endlessly bring their old stuff round to offload on you

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Rich_27-@reddit

Yes,

Straight in the bin

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Sjuk86@reddit

Pets and not kids, "think how much pets will cost you!"...oh yeah because kids are free.

PC I need for work.

any food in our cupboards that arent salad...even though they are insanely unhealthy.

Steam pretty much always has a sale on, so I hope he uses them!

I did but some race track DLC for my racing SIM for an upcoming league race full price, but otherwise I haven't paid full price for a game on Steam for absolutely years! Probably not since The Orange Box.

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RuaRuaRua81@reddit

My son only buys a Steam game while it's on offer

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Sburns85@reddit

My mum thought me and the girlfriend buying garden lights were a stupid purchase. Even though everyone who’s seen them says they are brilliant

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Hellchild400@reddit

Everytime I buy things that are classed as enrichment for my cats. My mum sees it as money directed away from the kids even though they're spoilt rotten....I don't think the discounted 25p cat milk I got is going to make much difference......

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thatguyalex2018@reddit

Everything?

I remember (18 years ago) moving home from Australia after doing a graduate degree and getting screamed at for buying a cell phone and being told that it was "a family decision"...I was 32 at the time. You can't make stuff like that up.

The life I actually lead and the one my parents think I lead is completely different.

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readytocomply13@reddit

Pens. Acrylic markers. They still make fun of me 😂 it’s not in a horrible way; we have a joke about it

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Dark-Faery@reddit

Everything! "Why did you pay that much, you could have had a cheaper brand for so much more. What do you need that for? You've always been far too frivolous, just look at how you wasted money in your early 20s"... I'm 55 now ffs, so I doubt it will change. I don't tell her when I buy stuff now. She tries to do the same with my 22 year old daughter and wonders why daughter has little to do with her controlling ass. She doesn't understand boundaries either and thinks she should know every tiny detail. She even moans if my daughter visits her friends because train fare!

Sorry, didn't mean to go off 😂

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loverofthebeautyful@reddit

My tattoos. My parents are from a generation that didn't have them. They have said 'why do you want that?" or the classic "what about when you are old?"

I have tried INCESSANTLY to get this into my mother's head.

"I don't NEED a wheelchair!!!" - okay but... shut up a second and listen... if you keep NOT using a wheelchair, then you'll need one. And be in more pain. Use one PURELY to reduce the strain and keep you ACTUALLY WALKING for longer, eh?

Additionally, nobody cares. You're not claiming you're disabled. You're just using it to help yourself. And you're EIGHTY YEARS OLD, nobody gives a damn about you using a wheelchair, nobody's surprised, nobody's looking, nobody's judging you for it!

Also: I don't want to spend every family outing waiting for you to catch up, being exhausted, in pain, etc. when we could wheel you to where we want to go and then you can get up and walk about like normal, without slowing us down, and enjoy the thing we've gone to see. Think of other people, too. I would far rather push you there in a wheelchair so we can all enjoy it, and you have a place to ALWAYS sit down if you need to, than going everywhere at half a mile per hour, having to constantly stop-start, you not making it there, we can't go on ahead and leave you without feeling guilty, you have nowhere to sit down and rest, and by the time we get to the interesting bit it's either closed, time to turn around and head back, or you can't walk around any more to enjoy it.

It's an AID, not a disabled gatekeeping device. You can use any aid you like. Nobody's pretending you've got a blue-badge, nobody's parking in the disabled bays, but look... we can wheel you across the car park and save your legs 500m of walking, so why would you want to walk that? Personally, I'd be happy for someone to do that for me and I have NO disabilities at all.

I managed to get this into my wife's head (she was disabled too) and got here to reduce the strain/damage at every opportunity and it worked out great. I even convinced my girlfriend's mother (who only spoke Italian) of the same when she came to visit (and she loved being fussed!). But my mum just can't get it.

Every journey where you've lessened the strain on your joints, hips, whatever, is another journey you can make under your own steam in the future.

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Noctemme@reddit

It’s sad she’s judging you for getting a stick you need, but she’ll have to change her tune when she needs one herself!

Don’t forget jojoba oil for moisturising those lobes

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mu5tbetheone@reddit

A dog, my mother got the arse on that I bought a puppy because she thought the meant I wouldn't be able to look after their cat when my parents went on holiday! Never in my life have I seen a dog and cat play so well together.

My dad, God rest his soul, disapproved of literally anything I hadn’t consulted him on first. He was a man of his generation and simply believed I was a girl and therefore incapable of making informed decisions without him. He also liked a lot of influence in our lives. It sounds ominous, but it came from a place of love and never wanting us to be scammed or not getting the bang for our buck.

Unfortunately, this included basically snubbing anything I decided to do or buy once I reached 21 and stopped really asking for his advice so much because I could see what he was doing.

Holidays - he’d never had a passport, never wanted one, why would he waste money travelling when he could watch nature docs on the telly?

Car - oh, you bought a modern car with safety features? What’s wrong with the 1992 Rover I bought you to learn to drive in? These new things with the computers will break within a fortnight, you’ll be sorry.

Marriage - What do you want to do that for, what a waste of money… What do you mean, of course I’m walking you down the aisle, you won’t get down there all by yourself. You should put the money towards a house (we’d been saving for both and were already in the process of buying said house when we got married).

Honeymoon - what do you want to go abroad for? What’s wrong with the Isle of Wight, you should go there if you have to go somewhere.

House - it’s got a lot of stairs and it’s quite far from your mum, you shouldn’t leave her on her own at this age (she lives a 15 minute walk away).

An actual quote also - “Perhaps if you didn’t spend so much money on handbags and earrings, you’d have much more in the bank and wouldn’t have to ask”. Reader, I’ve never bought a handbag in my life. The only one I ever had was the one he got his Secretary to buy me for my 21st birthday, and I also never buy earrings, mainly because he used to get me a pair every Christmas and I’ve never needed to.

Despite all this, I miss the bigger terribly.

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0ttoChriek@reddit

A couple of weeks ago, my dad was helping me with some DIY, and muttered about "always buying the most expensive brands," when he looked at an adjustable wrench.

I don't even remember buying it, but if I did, it would have involved going to B&Q and grabbing one that was somewhere in the middle of the price range.

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ledow@reddit

I get the opposite.

Dad's big on his tools (he was an engineer for decades, fair enough).

My stuff is always the cheapest shite going. If I work out that something I'm using is really crap... I buy something better. Otherwise... well... it worked just fine, thanks.

In the last four years, I moved into a house and did a ton of DIY on it of all kinds. And the only thing that happened is that my cheap £10 Rolson drill blew up when I tried to drill a 36cm diameter hole through brick with it (not really surprising, is it?). So what did I do? Borrowed Dad and his SDS drill, cut the hole, and then bought another £10 drill. I mean... it's been working fine for years, it's only because I got silly with it that it blew up. If I need to do that job again (I won't), then I'll borrow a proper drill again. Because why would I pay for an expensive tool that I'm never going to use again?

But if my £10 set of screwdrivers aren't any good (how?), and my next £10 set of screwdrivers I identify the same fundamental weakness in, then I'll likely buy a £30 set of screwdrivers that seem to be immune to that flaw.

I think I've spent about £300-400 on tools in the last 4 years, and that's basically from having NONE. Almost entirely, they've been absolutely fine for everything I've needed to do. No injuries. No damage. No other replacements. No failures. Even the above was only because I abused the damn thing and knew it was a £10 drill and didn't care if it died.

Give me a £500 drill and I'll find a way to mess it up, for sure.

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phatboi23@reddit

My stuff is always the cheapest shite going.

yup, i'll buy a cheap tool for a 1 off job, if i break it or need it more than that? i'll look into a better one.

Bought a makeup item (concealer). A thing I use every day for work. It was £7 and the last one I bought lasted 6 months, but I'd run out. "Now PERSONALLY I'd be more careful using all my limited money on makeup when you've got so much already."

The best one though, was a few years ago before I moved out while I was still at uni. I bought a very nice printer for printing or art pieces and stickers for an upcoming show. £400. And cutting machine (cricut) for cutting them out. Which I got on sale for £200. My parents were absolutely livid that I spent my own money on this. When I showed them my art on a holographic vinyl sticker and told them I would sell them for £3 each at an upcoming art market. They laughed in my face. I said if I sold 10 they'd have to concede that I knew what I was doing and that this was an investment. I sold 40 at my first show, and did 4 shows before the end of uni. Between those stickers and other stuff I made on it, I completely earned the money back on both machines and all the vinyl sticker paper I bought too. My parents still passive aggressively make comments on the printer claiming that I could have got one "just as good" for a lot cheaper, and that it must have been "friends who are also weirdos" that bought my stuff. Jokes on them, I have no friends.

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amanset@reddit

Video games. Apparently it means I haven’t grown up.

The relevance of me being a games developer seems lost on them.

I genuinely feel they don’t think I have a ‘real job’.

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mvg222@reddit

Tarot deck

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TheTinman369@reddit

Sounds a bit like my dad. He is negative about absolutely everything unless it was his idea.

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Confident_Dig_7834@reddit

One of those veggie chopper things. Where you can peel the onion then whack it in and it’s diced. Use it for all my veg I need to dice.

Saves me so much time as I do all my meal prep on a weekend as work full time and don’t have the time in the week.

Apparently it’s lazy and should just chop all by hand 😆

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RuaRuaRua81@reddit

Eclipse jeans, they and xworx jeans were sooo popular. My mum told me they were a waste of money and I should buy something decent that will last like Levi's. But I insisted and spent all my hard earned paper round money on a pair of black eclipse jeans which went all washed out after the first wash and basically looked shit. Everyone ditched eclipse and xworx jeans and was wearing Levi's a few months later...

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Serious_Escape_5438@reddit

My dad was like that about using a tumble dryer even though the weather was ok (I had a toddler and work and didn't have time to hang out the clothes during the day) and yeah, he has never touched a washing machine I don't think.

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ledow@reddit

I live in a TINY house. I have a washer-dryer and my parents didn't flip out, but they don't understand it.

I put ALL my clothes in (I don't separate colours, etc.). All I have to do is check the pockets. Then I throw in a tablet, press a button and about 5 hours later (I really don't care, I'm not in any rush!) it beeps and I have clean, dry clothes.

I don't iron them, I just take them out, MAYBE fold my posh work trousers so they are flat (I tend to fold them and then tuck them in the middle of the rest of the still-toasty-warm laundry to "press" them a little, but they don't even need that), put them in a basket and put them back in the bedroom.

"But they go wrong more than separate ones" - well, I've never had one gone wrong and I've been using them for about 10 years now.

"But the sun is out" - Good-o. I can sit outside and enjoy it while my washing is drying in the machine (I literally don't have enough outside space to hang things out, so I haven't even bothered with a washing line, and I would hate pinning stuff out).

"But it's a waste of electricity" - I have solar panels. So in a way... the sun IS drying my clothes...

"But you need to iron them" - clearly not.

etc. etc.

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throwawaythrowawee@reddit

I remember my mum going mental at me when I was a teenager (90s) because I used some birthday money to buy a Jethro Tull album on vinyl (Stand Up). I thought it was really cool as when you open it the sort of pop up in the centre. I still have it now!

My mum is just so judgemental. She loves shopping and is always buying stuff that is cheap but is therefore always getting rid of stuff. I buy far fewer items which are individually a bit more expensive, but what I do buy I like and I keep, which makes more sense to me.

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imselfinnit@reddit

A smoky cologne that I like: "oOoOh YoU dO tReAt YoUrSeLF wElL, dOn'T yOu"

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jonsnorr@reddit

Tattoos

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Magpie213@reddit

Spending ANY money on ANYTHING I wanted.

Cause if I had money - according to my parents; I should have put it all in the bank and NEVER touched it.

When I lived with them and I did go shopping - my mother would go through my bags as soon as I got home and make me show/explain to her each individual item, demand to know the price and then scream at me for spending MY money in the first place.

Guess who never got any pocket money as a kid?

They still scoffed at anything I bought in my own house.

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SasiBan@reddit

Piercings, my parents hate that I spend money on those.

Then I got a dog, which was apparently a stupid idea even though he's improved my mental health no end and means that I walk milessss every day after work.

I bought a classic American car, which was a waste of money and something I'd have no time to restore. Until my Dad drove it, loved it and went home to buy himself a 1950s Ford Fairlane.

My F2 sidecar, I should have stuck to classics because they're cheaper! Only they aren't, because they relentlessly break down and my F2 has been endlessly reliable... the list goes on 🤦‍♀️

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cal42m@reddit

My father in law grumbled that my nice little weekend car was sitting to rot on the drive and I should get it fixed up. I promptly reminded him that I would have done but we had to lend the money to him so until that’s repaid the car has to wait. At least he had the decency to shut up and look guilty. He’s not mentioned the car since.

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Queerysneery@reddit

Any video games. My parents view them as pointless and a waste of time and money. Books though, they respect. It’s like a hierarchy of art you can consume to have fun as a hobby and books on the top, followed TV and film that they like (BBC shows). Towards the bottom are “kids” TV and film (fantasy or comedy shows and anything animated), and video games at the bottom. So in their eyes purchasing books is a good, mature, and healthy thing to do, purchasing video games is “throwing my money away”.

I was on a call with my mum late on a weeknight not long ago telling her I was so stressed from work and so tired and burnt out and her response was to tell me to make sure I get out of the house on the weekend and not waste it playing video games.

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throwawaythrowawee@reddit

I haven’t told my mum I’ve started using a cleaner because she’s so judgemental

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im-yxz@reddit

i like the grapes that are £2.60 because they're crunchier and she went literally insane at me for spending 60p more because 'the £2 ones are as good' like my mother in christ you have your £2 ones and i'll have my £2.60 ones!

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culturerush@reddit

My parents still criticise everything I buy for myself for entertainment (I am in my late 30s with my own house) saying its a waste of money

They spend thousands upon thousands on a rapidly expanding collection of bikes.

I don't judge their hobby (I think a road bike and mountain bike is enough you don't need more than that but that's my opinion) and what they spend on it because I'm not into it but every hobby I have they don't get is still a stupid waste of money

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Old_Man_Benny@reddit

Anything slightly expensive we buy, the fucking boomers in my family comment on. My dad smokes 40 a day at God knows what that costs and my aunt and uncle have just sold their second home in France because they can’t travel anymore. But if we buy anything, we are frivolous. I have no problem telling them they’re full of shit and out of touch with reality.

Sometimes I feel like taking their Daily Mail, leaving it in the freezer for a few hours, and sticking it where the sun doesn’t shine. However by the time it’s frozen, they have drunk all my wine and eaten my BBQ and fucked off home.

Don’t get me started on Xmas, who pays for that? Well, muggins here, because I’ve got four kids, so I need to host it every goddamn year. Last year my inlaws didn’t even bring a bottle of fucking wine. They both left pissed, had to get my son to drive them home, and expected me to pick them up at 8am on Boxing Day to get their car that didn’t fucking happen someone must have unplugged the house phone (not my first rodeo)

Knowing my luck, they’ll leave it all to the fucking dogs’ home as well.

Every time the phone rings, I brace myself for criticism, unpaid favours, and someone asking why I haven’t been to visit in the last 2 days! Cause your always asleep when I visit!

This post might have triggered me !!

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Working-Sherbet8676@reddit

Not my parents but my grandmother was quite disappointed in my husband and me for using a landscaping company to completely remodel our garden.

Could have done it ourselves, apparently. Yeah, Grandma, I’m a dab hand at laying patio tiles /s

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PeachImpressive319@reddit

Lego. My mother hated me buying it, and convinced my entire family to never even contribute a single penny towards it, ever. Even three years after her death , they refuse to buy or contribute. It’s my hobby, and I love it. I don’t know why they’re so adamant in their stance on this.

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AnxiousCouch@reddit

Yes, I have 3 dwarf rabbits that live inside in my front room. (Litter trays etc cleaned daily, obviously). But every time my parents come round they act disgusted they're indoors and will make passive aggressive comments and how much money I could save if I didn't have them.

vcandthemeltdowns@reddit

Dang - was it worth it to embarrass the person enough to make them delete the comment.
"you're using the word jealous wrong". Come on. Sure maybe historically thats the case but look it up in any major dictionary and it's absolutely correct use. Top definition from Merriam Webster for Jealous:

: feeling or showing jealousy: such as

a : feeling or showing an unhappy or angry desire to have what someone else has

The way words are used changes. "Awful" used to mean full of awe - worthy of respect. Over time it completely flipped to mean something very bad. Should people go around correcting the modern use of the word awful? It's like posh trolling.

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Queefmaster69000@reddit

Come on, it's not posh trolling to advise someone to say what they mean, rather what they've heard.

Jealously and entitled are words that get banded around a lot incorrectly and it's a bit silly.

The evolution of the word awful is probably over a century, the misuse of the word jealous is pretty current, and it's not an evolution, it's using the incorrect word that's adjacent to the correct one.

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CollThom@reddit

Jealousy: a feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something or someone that you want

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NeverendingStory3339@reddit

To clarify for anyone confused, envy is wanting something you don’t have. Jealousy is wanting to keep something you already have.

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rice_fish_and_eggs@reddit

Jelously means both though, op was correct to use it in this context.

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HomeworkInevitable99@reddit

I agree!

It is my pet peeve that people use the words jealousy and envy when they don't like someone's opinion.

When a man found a parking ticket on his expensive car, he said it was given by someone who was jealous.

When someone criticised a John Cleese performance, Cleese said it was because they were envious.

Mine was a cat. I mean I got him for free as he was a stray but they resented him so hard. I live like 200 miles from them so it wasn't like they had anything to do with said cat either! I was distraught when he was put to sleep 2 years later. They were delighted.

I would totally get a cleaner if I could afford one though - that's my life goal! I hate cleaning.

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WastedYouth39@reddit

G80 BMW M3 touring… dad loved it, mum hated it

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Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

Nice. Love a fast estate.

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WastedYouth39@reddit

Yeah its a keeper, still the comments from my Mum… what if you loose your job, what if you crash it, how expensive is the insurance??? Mum i am 39 and moved out when i was 19… let me cut the apron strings!!

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ProfCupcake@reddit

what if you loose your job, what if you crash it,

I typically follow these with further things like,

"Ooh, or what if it gets stolen? What if aliens abduct me while I'm driving it? What if it gains sentience and rebels against its human masters? WHAT IF, MOTHER?!"

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Glittering-Wall2557@reddit

Lots of things…paying for a personal trainer, going out for food and drinks, holidays and travel…

When I first started working, and was living in a house share and saving towards a house, it was “it’s your money, you’ve earned it” but now I’m on a higher salary and I’ve got a mortgage, I’m judged for not going without nice things like holidays to get the mortgage paid off faster like my parents did. And I’m constantly told to pay more money into my pension so I can retire sooner (I work in the NHS).

I’m earning a comfortable enough living that I can balance doing nice things and sensible things but I’m also acutely aware that the future isn’t guaranteed as much as you hope to get there, so I’ll always prioritise nice things. Whereas I’ve watched my parents not do a single nice thing for themselves in years despite being more than able to afford it (they haven’t been on holiday in at least a decade despite having paid off their mortgage long before that).

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Particular_Dig1548@reddit

Block evening classes for various hobbies I want to try. Especially if it's art or cooking related

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Minimum_Definition75@reddit

My Dad, motorbike, a bigger motorbike, 6 horses, a Defender, every house I’ve ever bought.

That said apart from a lot of moaning and “I told you so’s” he still helped.

Taught me mechanics, helped me with land maintenance and stable construction.

I miss him a lot.

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Darwen85@reddit

Pokemon stuff Computer games Lego An expensive watch Tickets to things that are, according to my parents, aimed at kids (star wars convention etc) Predator mask

You get the point.

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Icy_Place_5785@reddit

Which watch?

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Darwen85@reddit

Tudor black bay 58

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Icy_Place_5785@reddit

Phenomenal choice!

I have my eye on the 54 ;)

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RuaRuaRua81@reddit

My mum's the opposite. She taught me to gaslight from a very young age - for example, she'd buy a new top and hang it in the wardrobe. If my dad noticed it and asked if it was new, she tell him she's had it for ages and he's seen her wear it loads of times. Always baffled me though, especially as my dad wouldn't mind if she had treated herself 😂

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Faithful_jewel@reddit

I just bought a retired Lego set for £225+buyer protection+postage. My dad, who I got it delivered to, was astounded I spent that much on Lego

I told him about the more expensive sets and how this one was an absolute steal as it was £220 when it came out etc etc etc just to keep him quiet

Fortunately I'm lucky in that he's only joking but he's very much a "how much can one banana cost?" kind of guy nowadays

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zerotrace@reddit

Modular or something older?

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Those are fantastic!

Screw exes trying to gatekeep hobbies. They can all get in the bin

I'm in the process of moving my bedroom over so my "new" computer room will have Kallax units and shelves. I don't have many of the massive sets so the cubes should hold my botanicals, then Roberta and the Gate and Ex-Roberta (the Rex skeleton) can all go on top. I'm eyeing up the new Trike skeleton and jeep though 🥲 I have a mortgage! I can't keep buying Lego!

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zerotrace@reddit

Screw exes trying to gatekeep hobbies. They can all get in the bin

100% the lot of them !

I was beyond lucky and got some free red Kallax's recently that I'm sharing with the roomie - So much LEGO on display now :3

omg the new Jeep set looks so good! I got the little set with Dennis when that was out and it's displayed on top of one of the IKEA/LEGO containers that were available for a while.

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Faithful_jewel@reddit

I need another trip to IKEA to get more vases so I should probably eye up the Kallax(es?) in person while I'm there. Could do with getting rid of my old wardrobe and dresser first though

I'll also need to start locking one of the cats out. She enjoys chewing on plastic so the end of my Ideas skeletons have teeth marks 🤦🏻‍♀️

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zerotrace@reddit

If any of the stuff you're getting rid of is IKEA, they'll buy it back off you; money towards newness <3

Oh no, poor skelly!

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Faithful_jewel@reddit

I didn't know they did that! I got rid of a bookcase not long ago 😭 the stuff I have is Argos but I might see if my friend wants it for his rental flat. He does enough stuff for me, freebies for him 😂

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zerotrace@reddit

Good luck! And that's what friends are for!

Holidays (MIL)

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carboncopy404@reddit

How much do you pay for your cleaning, OP?

When I was an adult but lived at home, my Mum would get mad at me for buying shower products (like shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, body scrub) because it was too excessive (like I would have more than one shower gel or shampoo). One day I came home from work and she had lined up all my shower products on the stairs and was sitting on the stairs above them and told me I have to get rid of some and that this was an 'intervention'. I did have a good few products but nothing excessive - my hair was very damaged and I was trying to improve the condition of it so I tried a couple of different things. I didn't get it because there was plenty of room for it and I was using my own money to buy the stuff.

(For example, I probably had two shampoos and conditioners each, one purple shampoo as I used it for my blonde hair, two or three shower gels for different scents and two shower scrubs again for different scents)

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onebadlion@reddit

Guitars. They just can’t understand why anyone would need more than one and think dropping thousands on them is a dumb financial decision, which isn’t entirely inaccurate to be fair to them

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Jin-shei@reddit

I love my cleaner. No more domestic cleaning related arguments and I just... Bliss.

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Bubble2905@reddit

Holidays and eating out, although in fairness I’ve cut back a good amount since Covid and having children. It’s almost like how dare I do something enjoyable outside of work and sleep!

Only recently has I experienced this but not Dad's fault really - beginnings of dementia and cannot understand that the prices are not what they were in the 1950s anymore. So not so much buying for us but disbelief at us buying stuff for him...

The main person who blames me for spending my cash on crap I do not need - is me...

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Mad_as_alice@reddit

Puppet birds for my son, he’s autistic and likes them and 20+ is not too many

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Shoddy-Reply-7217@reddit

I can buy what I like, as long as I don't swear.

Cue my dad "People who swear have a limited vocabulary."

Ad infinitum...

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Proud_Durian6956@reddit

My Lego collection

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redlady1991@reddit

I miss having a cleaner, we used to get one for 3 hours every fortnight. What a beautiful luxury! We also used to send our washing out to be done. It'd be delivered the next week folded and clean, they'd then take the new bag of dirty washing.

Since having twins 18 months ago, and me staying at home for the kids - our income is less forgiving for things like that. That said the 2 things we have got that I absolutely ADORE:

Robot Hoover (we call him Vlad the Inhaler) Robot Lawnmower (Larry)

You enjoy your cleaner, and sod anyone who says anything otherwise

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Doctordelayus@reddit

Unusual pets, which is weird considering unusual pets is theme in my family

Multiple different cousins have had unusual pets from stick insects to crested geckos, had an uncle who even had piranhas, but as soon as I get isopods and a Vinegaroon, it’s all “what purpose do they serve?”, “what’s the fun in it?”, “stupid little creatures”

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Emergency_Mistake_44@reddit

Is "everything" an acceptable answer?

Highlights include holidays, tattoos, the car I drive, events I go to. None of which are even particularly expensive to the average person. And then there's day to day things. Treat myself to a new £30 kettle because my old one was knackered? "Why didn't you just get one from Asda for £6"

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Jay-Ren213@reddit

My grandmother on my mums side said that me and my partner were lazy and we weren’t truly ourselves putting in the work taking care/cleaning our house like her because we had all those fancy things that are doing it for us and I do wonder does she understand that even with them we still have to do the work it’s not like they do everything and we don’t move a finger 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😂 I love her but comments like this are just too much.

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hhhanns@reddit

Absolutely everything honestly.

My dad can't comprehend that things are expensive. I earn a decent wage (£50k or thereabouts) but he hasn't had a mortgage for at least a decade or two, and hasn't bought anything since about 1974. If I say I can't afford something this month because I'm putting money aside for something else, he goes on a big lecture about how I must be bad with money because I should be raking it in by now.

A few years ago we were moving, and we ended up renting a storage unit as we saw an absolutely perfect sofa for £550. It was an ex showhome model, curved/l shaped green velvet dream that seats about 8 people comfortably, and was a perfect fit for the massive new living room. We'd had our current sofa for 8 years and got it for 20 beans on gumtree, so it didn't feel like too much of a splurge. The unit worked out about £15 for the 2 months we needed it and meant we could finish up the floors and sanding and painting without dirtying the new sofa.

My dad kept telling me this was a huge waste of money, there would be other sofas, you can just go to DFS and get whatever sofa you want, what's so special about this one? He looked like he was going to vomit when I told him it was still on the sofology website for £2700. "Can you not just get a normal sofa for £150?" No, father. No you cannot.

He complimented a pair of jeans I had on recently, I thanked him and told him about how excited I was to get them on sale for £46. He spent 20 solid minutes yelling at me for being irresponsible because Asda do jeans for £8.

We had a leak in our flat roof over the front door in December, got it all fixed up within a day for £700. We'd had a few rough quotes nearly triple this so I was pretty pleased. My dad told me he had a blowtorch I could have borrowed and I need to stop being so precious about getting up a ladder.

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caroline0409@reddit

Not that they would ever dare to say to my face.

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tinned_spaghetti@reddit

Taking my vehicle to the car wash instead of doing it myself. I live in a flat, have no outdoor tap and only have on street parking. Meanwhile they're farmers, have a hose and a pressure washer at hand. I felt guilty for ages but now I don't care anymore.

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Adrian69702016@reddit

There are people who criticise the choices I make, and from time to time that may include employing a cleaner. However I haven't got the spare time or energy to clean for myself. Best plan is to just ignore the critics.

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Groundbreaking-End92@reddit

My mum regularly makes comments about the number of football shirts I wear.

They're comfy and I look nice!

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My mother judges me for buying almost everything.

Motion sensor lights for the laundry cupboard? Waste of money. Nice pram bag which is both practical and looks nice? Waste of money. New car seat for the new baby? Waste of money, just use the old (now out of date) one. Buying a certain cereal when there was still an open packet of bran flakes, waste of money.

Basically anything that brings us joy is classed as a waste of money.

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Difficult-Researcher@reddit

Getting AC in my top floor flat when “it’s only hot for a week in summer”. No dad it’s always hot here! Insulation and lack of windows facing each other so heat doesn’t dissipate. It’s 12° outside but currently 21° inside :/

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nastyleak@reddit

Travelling. “Haven’t you been to all of the places?”

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dave_bird@reddit

I’m pretty sure the main reason most people don’t buy an automatic car is because their old man will take the piss out of them for it.

UuusernameWith4Us@reddit

A half day deep clean every weekend does sound both expensive and unnecessary TBH.

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My mum thinks that almost everything I buy is expensive and that I am spending too much money as her brain seems to still be stuck on the late 90s / early millennium pricing. I will often spend more money on higher quality items that will last longer, which she disapproves of as they are "too expensive" when I could get a budget version for less. (By expensive, I mean going to M&S instead of Primark. Or buying the slightly nicer Habitat bed sheets which will last me years)

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edgeofsanity76@reddit

I bought a pair of Technics 1200s and a mixer because I wanted to relive my youth.

I fucking love it and my Dad thinks I should grow up. I'm nearly 50.

Tattoo’s

My parent isn’t a fan of them

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srogijogi@reddit

Well, anything what doesn't fit in their vision what is ok to buy. Since the age difference between most people and their parents is quite big, parents' and children's visions are completely different. Another common issue is parents who are trying to force and micromanage their children into their (not their children) dreams and goals.

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anti-sugar_dependant@reddit

My parent liked to judge me for buying myself fancy soap. My parent doesn't get to see me any more.

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SaintBridgetsBath@reddit

Christmas crackers!

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Horsey_McHorse@reddit

For me it's a new bike. It's always been a second hand, car boot sale bike because a bike shouldn't cost more than £20/£30 most. Something goes wrong you learnt to fix it. That's my dad's motto. However my last bike I've fixed it more times than I can be bothered with. I love riding and go long distances, so got myself an electric bike. Still second hand but had it properly serviced, registered etc. He'd know it's a new bike sooner or later so had to bring it up, but I said it cost £100 .. I know .. but even that was a shock followed by why do you need it, you're becoming lazy.. the usual spiel. Make more than he ever did and I still can't have nice things

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Voltalox@reddit

My father, who is a bit of a prick to be fair, called my wife and I "lazy bastards" because we pay for a cleaner to come and give the house a deep clean every 2 weeks.

Buying the branded item instead of Lidls own brand.

The best thing about having a cleaner (or anyone who you can outsource a house job to) is you're paying someone local and putting into the local economy.

My friend has a cleaner, a lady who does all her holiday ironing, a bloke who jet washes her driveway (seasonally) and her wheelie bins (once a month), and a handyman who is always doing odd jobs for her. I think it's brilliant.

I mentioned to my mum I'm considering getting a cleaner depending on money when I go back to work after maternity leave and she called me lazy! The irony of her being paid to do my brother's cleaning isn't lost on me.

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fatfartypants15@reddit

Villa holidays. My stepfather slated us for taking our children away to European islands and staying in a villa, which he thought was excessively expensive. Funny how his solo world cruises with first class air travel that cost more than our entire holiday for four, are perfectly ok though.

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0800happydude@reddit

My Dad thought I was a mug for buying Bitcoin. If I still had that Bitcoin now it would now be worth slightly more than our family home.

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Demo_Bec@reddit

Little things, constantly. Any expenditure is a waste of money especially on anything that we "could do ourselves" such as decorating, gardening, cleaning etc. I might be able to do it but a) I can't be bothered, b) I can afford it and c) honestly, professionals do it better.

A few years ago I was running my own little cleaning company.

About 80% of my clients were either families or people with executive function issues.

It was far far less about me doing the cleaning per sec, much more about taking away a stress causing task.

So instead of my client's mum coming over to clean and wash up, she comes over and they sort out their wardrobe, or re pot the plants, or any of a thousand things that let them bond rather than get annoyed at each other.

For the families, an occasional cleaner is much cheaper and less intrusive than couples therapy or divorce 🤣

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nosajn@reddit

I bought an old car recently and my mum was very judgemental about it.

All like "why do you need 5 old cars? Why can't you just buy a modern one?"

Not very supportive at all.

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Rich_27-@reddit

I get this.

My hobbies are messing around with cars and motorbikes.

Constantly " why do you have that old banger, why not get something newer?"

Well it doesn't need plugging into a computer if it goes wrong and I can fix it on the drive with a Halfords socket set and a mug of tea.

I was in my element on Saturday welding an exhaust while the FIL and BIL went to watch the football, how much did those tickets cost???

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Ok-Humor-5672@reddit

Warhammer

I have two kids, a very decent stable job, a mortgage

Why do you care if I want to spend my time painting little plastic toys haha

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Icy-Belt-8519@reddit

Just tattoos 😂

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jasminenice@reddit

They did not approve of my Alfa Romeo splurge.

Got a boring fucking Peugeot now because more spacious for the kids and all that, but I bloody loved that car. Can't believe I sold it.

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trjk87@reddit

Good on you. If you can afford it and it gives your life a net positive then fuck what anyone else thinks

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TwoValuable@reddit

Pretty much anything that I or my brother buy my mum has a comment on how we paid too much or it's not needed.

My brother's car on a good finance deal that he uses for a 65 mile each way commute to work or has to get a train and coach? £210 is far too expensive he should have got a £2K run around. The £4 French lavender I bought in B&Q because I wanted it? You can get cheaper plants elsewhere. The £1 pair of jeans from a carboot that actually fit and mean I'm not buying new clothes whilst dealing with a post partum weight loss journey? Do you really need more clothes. That one actually gobsmacked me as she knows I've really struggled with my weight and style since having my son, so I've only been buying second hand whilst trying to shift the weight. The jeans are super comfy too and a single pound!

She calmed down a bit recently after I told her she was the poster child for buy cheap buy twice.

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Solid-Rise-8717@reddit

My dad once called me a “stupid cunt” for not buying a Fiat Multipla. I had two kids and he said it’d be nice for them both to sit in the front.

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Chris-TT@reddit

He sounds jealous to me. We wouldn't be without a cleaner either. If you can afford it, it's worth it.

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Solskinn-Theola@reddit

My pets. I'm 42, chronically ill and a single parent to a teen. I've got cats, rabbits and chickens. My pets get me out in the garden, give me a routine and bring me comfort on my high pain days. They've improved my mobility and mental health. But she lectured me like I'm a child when I got the chickens and rabbits even though the caring and cost of them don't impact her at all. She calls the cats her grandchildren and has a clear favourite. I rescued all of my rabbits. One had never seen outside or grass, and was stuck in pets at home for a year and the others were going to be breed for meat and pelts. (She actually paid for these as an early Christmas present 🙃) And the chickens? Well she never turns down the excess eggs...

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NoWatch3354@reddit

What do you value more, your money or your time?

Yeah, fuck this. A cleaner is 100% worth it. Quite frankly it should be a cultural norm that we have cleaners. I miss mine so much, however I had a career change in which the household income took a hit. In the coming years, I have every intention of getting a cleaner again.

My parents judged me a bit for buying myself expensive boots. However, I took Sam Vimes boots theory literally.

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PynkPatterned@reddit

Not a purchase but taking a risk and changing jobs when I had a stable job and nice team. I’ve now doubled my salary, got loads of experience and gained confidence. In the meantime, my old team and job went through a massive restructure, people left anyway.

My Mum and Dad couldn't understand why you'd want to change something if it's fine, not realising that change will happen to you anyway.

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rdxc1a2t@reddit

When I first started earning I started buying a lot of films. I'd always loved films but had limited access to them as a kid because I didn't get much pocket money and my parents maybe rented a film or took me to the cinema once or twice a year so when I suddenly had cash it only made sense to start purchasing all these films I'd always wanted to see. I was soon spending a couple of hundred pounds a month on films (about 10% of my paycheque) which my mum decried. I just pointed out that most people have something they spend too much money on, by normal standards, and this was my thing and she soon came to understand. I still love films and I still love my discs and most of the ones I bought back then were sold and funded purchases on the later formats.

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-toril-@reddit

Therapy, pets, university, jobs that are “difficult” such as working with foster children, wanting to be a foster parent.

He doesn’t want BAD things for me, he just has what he thinks is ideal. If he had it his way, I’d never get married or have children til I’m well in my thirties, and would just work an easy but decent paying job while travelling the world. He thinks pets and commitments will drag me down and I will regret my life with my meaningless education when I should just be working and enjoying the world. But I am enjoying the world, just how I want to enjoy it. I also still have travelled a good few places, but I suppose he thinks more would be better.

Therapy

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Safe-Professional556@reddit

My dad used to make a huge fuss about me buying a mid range graphics card for my PC. Right up until he started using more high end graphics creation software and he needed one too... Then it was "I never said that..."

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Familiar-Woodpecker5@reddit

A dishwasher, it’s lazy apparently 🙄

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PynkPatterned@reddit

Going out for food.

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MaltedMilkBiscuits10@reddit

It's the other way around for me.

My father in law went on a 30 min rant about how years ago he was paying under £1 a gallon of petrol and it's ridiculous it's costing him this for this journey, that for that journey.

All this was occuring sat there at the pub drinking £7 pints then had the audacity to question why I'm not drinking. For the 9 pints he drank and doesn't remember the night, that's 500 miles worth of fuel that would last me a month.

He spends probably £100 a week on alcohol yet is the first to say you don't need this, don't need that, moans about the cost of living.

TheRiddlerTHFC@reddit

I don't tell my parents what I'm spending money on. Frankly its none of their business.

With regards to cleaner, its the old adage time is money.

I'd much rather pay someone to clean my house

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DebaucheV5@reddit

Tattoos, my parents really hate them. It actually makes me kinda sad - when I first got tattooed, my mum had recurring nightmares where some villain was using a knife to carve into my flesh. It lasted for a few months.

Ultimately you have to become your own person, and when your parents are being kinda irrational you just have to deal with it and move on together. But I was sad that it upset her that much

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SFSpex1980@reddit

Lego Transformer sets.

Mum just shakes her head at me. Although to be fair, so does the wife. And the kids.

Similar to you, OP. I pay for a gardener to come once a month to every 6 weeks to do some weeding.

My dad would make comments about it being lazy, but he’s retired and has my mum doing ALL of the grocery shopping, cooking, washing, and the cleaning. He’s not the one with a full time senior job (anymore) and doing a masters on the side. I also live alone, so all the things that he can rely on my mum for all fall to me to do.

If outsourcing just one of those makes my life more tolerable by taking one burden away, then what’s the big deal? Not having to get my hands dirty and freeing up time to actually enjoy some pockets of time is money well spent in my books.

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ValenciaHadley@reddit

Anything expensive. If I can I'd rather fork out for good quality but expensive so it last longer. Me and mum still debate whether or not my snow boots were a good purchase because they cost £90.

Ironically the only car I’ve ever bought that he’s liked is a 2 seater sporty one. He didn’t ever seem to approve of any of my more practical, sensible purchases I’d had previously.

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vipros42@reddit

My dad has squandered so much money on unnecessarily changing cars and boats that he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

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te7037@reddit

My mom moaned at me for not being too flashy!

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te7037@reddit

Ex-mom moaned at me for buying new clothes.

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Iwantedalbino@reddit

I had some money from selling my flat so wanted to take the family on a big holiday.

We blew dad’s typical budget out of the water (he’s tight not broke). To the extent that I actually prepared a slide pack to take them through the decision making process to get him on board.

He grumbled and grumbled and grumbled. Now he can’t stop telling everyone what a fantastic time he had and what a great hotel it was.

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Excellent-Abies-259@reddit

It's not lazy. It's abuse of financial inequality.

It's just above paying sum1 to wipe your arse for you.

No judgment tho. I once paid a girl to finger herself for a fiver.

Turned out it was cgi.

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Ecstatic_Effective42@reddit

My Mum got annoyed at me for buying an air fryer after I'd upgraded the hob and oven. She can't understand why I'd go to the expense of a new oven and then get an air fryer to effectively replace it.

I tried to explain that I now have options and the air fryer cooks 'differently' to the oven.

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No-Department-4561@reddit

Fancy lunches (“Why not just make your own sandwiches and take them to work”)

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Classic Boomer mentality. Call you lazy for allocating money to something that you don't want to do and have it done properly yet never does it themselves

I've got a cleaner once a week because honestly. My time is worth more to me than money at this point and I'd rather spend that time with my family

--

But to answer your original question. Not really. I reckon the closest thing to it would be when I bought an electric car. My in-laws saw it as "weird and unnecessary" (at the time).

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