[-]

Dolphin_Spotter@reddit

I'm out of the office. I will be back on (date). Your email has been deleted. If it is important, please resend after my return.

[-]

StandWellBack_@reddit

Our old ops manager signed off every email with just 'right then.'

No name. Somehow it always felt like a bollocking.

[-]

Zavodskoy@reddit

Coworker of mine had annual leave at the same time as our boss a couple of weeks ago.

Her OTO auto reply was "I'm out of the office on annual leave, I'll be back on the 23rd of March. For any urgent business please contact (Managers name) who wont reply because she's also on annual leave."

[-]

Cuznatch@reddit

I worked somewhere where 4 tiers of hierarchy accidentally had a chain of Out of offices, with the fourth being a director that oversaw about 500 staff across the country, who didnt name anyone on his put of office because at his level he wouldn't usually need to. The lowest was a team leader who would get emails from students. There were a few complaints about that one...

[-]

Zavodskoy@reddit

10/10

[-]

BlueHoopedMoose@reddit

I do this - says in my auto reply if the email is important then book a meeting with me for when I'm back.

When I get back I ctrl + a then delete my inbox.

[-]

Independent-Tax-3699@reddit

My brother did exactly this. Apparently there were 0 issues and funnily enough no one resent their emails when he was back.

[-]

MrPogoUK@reddit

An old boss of mine didn’t announce he was doing it, but on his return from leave would just delete everything and say “if it’s important they’ll chase me up about it”.

[-]

Longjumping_Deal6289@reddit

I do this. When I return from holiday, after a quick scan for anything sent as urgent in the last few days, I take all the emails, pop them in a folder called 'Holiday' and assume people will chase me for anything that's important. I delete them all after a month. If I don't do this, it takes me a week to clear the backlog alongside my regular work and other emails, and I'm on the back foot for weeks.

I'm a sales director in publishing, 2 levels removed from the MD.

[-]

emmaturechild13@reddit

I just got back from maternity leave and did exactly this because there’s no way in hell I’m reading over 13 months worth of emails

[-]

Glittering_Sunrise12@reddit

This definitely falls into “working smarter not harder” 👏🏼

[-]

SoylentDave@reddit

I'm at a similar level and I've got a 'not quite as good as this' approach which I think I will now upgrade to the 'Holiday' folder because it's a great idea.

(and I agree, anything really important someone will either speak to me or email me again - the same is true of emails sent when I'm not on holiday to be fair, all of which risk ending up in the void of my inbox)

[-]

Firthy2002@reddit

As far as I'm concerned, anything requiring a degree of urgency should involve a more direct engagement as a first step (IM/call), with an email to clarify.

[-]

PhysicsForeign1634@reddit

Who sends an email that's not important?

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slb609@reddit

Almost everyone.

[-]

KiwiNo2638@reddit

Not my manager, but the manager of a team I worked with a lot. He also often didn't turn his OOO on when he was away. He was open about his ctrl-A, delete habits.

[-]

bornfromanegg@reddit

“He also often didn't turn his OOO on when he was away” and “He was open about his shift-ctrl-A, delete habits.” are two sentences that do not go together.

[-]

KiwiNo2638@reddit

*should not go together

[-]

newtonbase@reddit

My wife's aunt would move them all into a folder for a week and if nobody followed up she hit delete.

[-]

Willsagain2@reddit

Yep., except I'd stick the whole lot in one sub folder, and if chased up I can fish out the relevant email(s). Delete the entire sub folder in a month or three.

[-]

Winston_Carbuncle@reddit

What kind of business was this

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HashDefTrueFalse@reddit

I work in tech and I've pretty much always just checked emails twice a day - in the morning and around lunch time. I've never really hurried to reply either. If it was urgent surely I'd get someone turning up at my desk or a phone call at the very least. It makes zero sense whatsoever to send an email and then never chase via other more immediate means if it's important and/or urgent.

It's amazing how many "important" and "urgent" emails you find in your inbox that you never answered. They miraculously figured it out all on their own. I've come to the conclusion that whilst some emails can obviously be important, it's also often just a tool that lazy/incompetent people use to quietly get others to do their work for them.

[-]

Winston_Carbuncle@reddit

In all honesty they probably didn't read beyond the date he's back. I certainly don't but then I have an incredibly short attention span generally let alone for work related tasks

[-]

Cuznatch@reddit

I did this once. Had a public facing (but named) email address that consistently got unsolicited enquiries. I was off for 4 weeks, 3 of which I was in China and Hong Kong for.

I set my OoO to say pretty much what you've said, I was out of office for a month, with no access to my inbox while away. If your enquiry is urgent, please contact X, or email again after x date (the Thursday after I was back on the Monday), as i would be deleting all emails upon my return.

I did set up a handful of filters, so emails from my boss, my programme's key funders, the head of, and a few others all got filtered to a folder, but true to my word, when I got back I deleted about 3500 emails without a care in the world. It felt beautiful, and took about 8 minutes for the numbers on my inbox to catch up.

[-]

nickllhill@reddit

I did this. Empty emailbox and worked a treat

[-]

lost_send_berries@reddit

My grandboss has done this, with 200 people in his team, there's no way he's catching up on emails.

It was phrased a bit politer though.

[-]

glitterstateofmind@reddit

I’m gonna have to steal the term “grandboss”. Much better than “my boss’s boss”!

[-]

Baked_Crinklies@reddit

I've been junior enough to have a Great-great-grandboss.

[-]

SnooHabits8484@reddit

in the civil service I had a great-great-great-great-grandboss. I didn’t manage anyone but in that job I could feasibly have still been grandboss to an admin assistant.

[-]

slinkysoft@reddit

Our service manager did this

[-]

JLAshbourne@reddit

I had a boss who used to get back from a couple of weeks off and just hit delete all to get back to an empty inbox. With no message sent out saying this had happened, he was just letting people decide whether it was worth following up.

[-]

CaptainMikul@reddit

I had a boss who respected HER boss for doing this.

I didn't dare try myself.

[-]

ConsciouslyIncomplet@reddit

Errr…..That’s my standard out of office…..

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Unhappy-Training-878@reddit

Haha I think this is totally reasonable! I am on mat leave and put my OOO as... this account is not being monitored. If you specifically require me please contact again after X date". Lovely opportunity to clear allll my emails once I'm back and start from zero haha

[-]

literate_giraffe@reddit

I greatly enjoyed deleting 5000+ emails when I returned from mat leave, very satisfying!

[-]

Unhappy-Training-878@reddit

Oo yes it's something I'm looking forward to about returning

[-]

Independent-Tax-3699@reddit

Automate that shit lol

[-]

luckeratron@reddit

I did this for my paternity leave, with an extra mailbox for urgent enquiries. But that was 6 months off so I thought it was justified.

[-]

trippykitsy@reddit

Hahaha that's diabolical

[-]

TheNorthernMunky@reddit

One of my bosses does this, it’s genius.

[-]

Elegant_Plantain1733@reddit

I've seen it, and that was at a major bank. At least he's honest - a lot of people say they will respond then don't.

[-]

michalakos@reddit

That’s my OOO every time I go away for more than a week but a little more politely worded.

“I am away until [date]. Please reach out to [colleague names] if it’s something urgent, otherwise please reach out to me again after the [date]”

I get a lot of email alerts because of my job that need actioning immediately but when I am away my colleagues deal with them. So when I am away for too long my inbox gets flooded with those alerts and it takes ages to go through everything. So I just ask people to resend so I don’t have to spend 3 days going through emails.

[-]

Appropriate_Trader@reddit

That’s basically my summer holiday out of office message.

If it’s urgent please take it up with Phil McCrakin. Otherwise schedule a short meeting or resend after this date. I don’t plan to spend my first week back sifting through emails. Thanks for understanding.

[-]

TheMujo@reddit

I set my signature to

TheMujo
-----
Lover, Poet, Acrobat.

Until I got told off. TBH I thought it was the lyrics to The Pink Panther but I mis-remembered.

[-]

bored_toronto@reddit

Gentleman | Scholar | Acrobat

[-]

TheMujo@reddit

Is what it should've been

[-]

55caesar23@reddit

Don’t. Hesitate to contact me.

[-]

No_Communication1689@reddit

Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast

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bored_toronto@reddit

What a guy!

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

Back when I was a systems programmer (job titles were sexy back then) on mainframes as part of a legacy COBOL team I had the following in my signature for months before I was asked to remove it.

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense." - E.W. Dijkstra

[-]

JobAnxious2005@reddit

Use a language to tell how old you are 😂

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bored_toronto@reddit

PASCAL and ALGOL where mentioned when I was looking into A-Level Computer Studies.

[-]

BeardedBaldMan@reddit

If we're going down that route. I once had to teach myself enough fortran from a mildewed book in order to fix a leap year bug in an accounting program.

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Dolphin_Spotter@reddit

I learned raw 8 bit hex machine code for the 6502.

[-]

zzkj@reddit

Pfft, tiny instruction set, try 68000 😆

[-]

slb609@reddit

Had to draw out the 68000 architecture as part of a final exam in a course in 3rd year (Scotland, so not final year). IIRC there was also a 6700 architecture. While we were standing outside the room waiting, we discussed the fact that the lecturer had the previous year asked for a 67000 and no-one knew what to do.

Imagine our surprise when we were asked to draw a 6800.

Dude - you had one job.

[-]

DameKumquat@reddit

I see your Fortran and raised you programming in APL...

[-]

BeardedBaldMan@reddit

That's impressive, I've only heard anecdotes about it and how hard it was.

[-]

DameKumquat@reddit

I got dumped on because I happened to have a APL keyboard on my desk. I didn't get far as the only resource was a bloke who knew it. He wasn't good at explaining, but he was good at just doing it for me...

[-]

BeardedBaldMan@reddit

For those wondering how bad apl is

fib←{⍵≤2:1 ⋄ (∇⍵-1)+∇⍵-2}¨1+⍳16 (⊃(,/{⍵, ', '}¨fib)),'...'

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No_Ring_3348@reddit

(⊃(,/{⍵, ', '}¨fib)),'...'

Is that separating each number with commas then concatenating an ellipsis at the end? What a horrible language lol

[-]

lilphoenixgirl95@reddit

Kinda fancy looking though

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JobAnxious2005@reddit

All I can hear is ‘Rich in IT contractor’ 😂

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GoldenGolgis@reddit

A load of old COBOLrs

[-]

Foreign_Impress6535@reddit

I tried learning COBOL in college. I prefer Vogon poetry.

[-]

DoctorOctagonapus@reddit

COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

[-]

slb609@reddit

Ahahahahahahaha

I love this. If only you knew. It runs almost every major banking system in the world. It also runs a lot of medical accounting systems and other financial institutions.

It’s not going anywhere. Yet.

Source: COBOL programmer.

[-]

Not_Sugden@reddit

wishing you luck in your tepid bath

u/not_sugden

(some will get this)

[-]

heyitsed2@reddit

"suck a dick dumb shits" is probably the worst I could get away with, but I only have 3 colleagues and we're all quite immature.

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Tattycakes@reddit

Where tf do you work that you can put that on your email lol

[-]

Qwsdxcbjking@reddit

I've gotten away with a "fuck you kindly, name" to my boss before. His, in response was "I'd prefer it rough, name"

[-]

heyitsed2@reddit

In a brewery with a bunch of sardonic alcoholics...

[-]

pajamakitten@reddit

Do you work on a very famous TV show?

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heyitsed2@reddit

Don't act like you don't know

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GreatBeast-93-93-93@reddit

Back in the 90's...

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Kudosnotkang@reddit

I’ve need known to drop a moist regards , it rarely goes unnoticed but it’s yet to get me fired

[-]

Qwsdxcbjking@reddit

"moist, succulent, juicy regards"

[-]

levezvosskinnyfists7@reddit

You are, as always, a vigorous pigeon

[-]

tt-23@reddit

CU Next Team meeting,

[-]

insanityarise@reddit

cuntm

[-]

tt-23@reddit

The Cuntm Menace

[-]

calmbabe@reddit

Obsessed

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Teawillfixit@reddit

Brilliant!

[-]

No_Blackberry6291@reddit

Ha ha this is good !

[-]

attackoftheplops@reddit

“I await your soft song on the coming wind”

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Awaiyawa@reddit

I would laugh for days after seeing this on an email

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Fast_Apple_2237@reddit

Not a sign off, but I started every group work email with "Hi everybody" for five years before someone cottoned on.

[-]

raytotayto@reddit

?

[-]

Fast_Apple_2237@reddit

It's a Simpson reference

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jinglesan@reddit

Just increase the signoff size slightly each day until somebody says something. I reckon this will happen at 36 points

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Bonsuella_Banana@reddit

Not the same but related. My sign off is just 'Best, Bon', as in not my full name but a nickname. My full name then sat further down in the email signature. In an old work email, it was first name.last name format, ie bonsuella.banana@company.com. Someone constantly responded to me as 'Hi Bananna' (kinda like my surname but turned into an actual name) so every time they did it, I increased the font size of my first name at the end of my emails. It took weeks for them to notice - it was size 48 and I turned it red when they finally realised.

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BlodeuweddPorffor@reddit

Why do they do this? I have the same issue, but my first name is very common, my surname is uncommon. Why would you think the uncommon name is my first name?!?!

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Bonsuella_Banana@reddit

Honestly I don't know, even if you can't tell which is first name and last name in an email, just read the name I've signed off with?!? Current work email is weird because it's the first few letters of each ie bonban@ which stops people getting confused with first name/last name but still.... These people just need to read properly haha

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BlodeuweddPorffor@reddit

I think I'll be taking your suggestion and increasing the font size in my signature every time they use the wrong name

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No_Atmosphere1852@reddit

I always open the reply with their surname, which usually works quite quickly.

Although I am a month into opening one set of emails with "Hi Kemp" and seeing no change.

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slb609@reddit

My company is first.last@, with the auto signature part that you actually see in the inbox as last, first, (department).

We have a LOT of Indian staff - both onshore and off. The mailbox creation staff (or the people filling in the forms) aren’t always rigorous about this, so It’s a fucking nightmare because you can’t actually tell which is the first name. The whole “take my father’s name as my last name” means all names are plausible first names. I’d been speaking about a new team member called Mohammed for ages when she finally spoke up at a meeting and I realised that was her last name.

Rips my fucking knitting.

[-]

punkpearlspoetry@reddit

This is the best thing I’ve read all day 😂😂😂😂😂🤝

[-]

dogslogic@reddit

[-]

jinglesan@reddit

Just increase the signoff size slightly each day until somebody says something. I reckon this will happen at 36 points

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Slight_Horse9673@reddit

Possibly.

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GoldenGolgis@reddit

This made me laugh far too much!

[-]

jinglesan@reddit

Just increase the signoff size slightly each day until somebody says something. I reckon this will happen at 36 points

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thingsliveundermybed@reddit

Someone actually wrote to Ask a Manager about a young'un in their office who signed off emails with "Stay gold," from that book The Outsiders. I liked it!

Personally I'd try "Glory to the Emperor."

[-]

Tashing_on@reddit

My brother in law used to sign off by saying “much enjoyment” at work, as far as I know he got away with it

[-]

SnooBooks1853@reddit

I apparently suffer from thinking the G is where the T is on my keyboard and have had to change, "Kind Regards" on my sign off for a lot longer than I'd care to admit.

[-]

thebigfil@reddit

Kind regerts

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Additional_Egg_6685@reddit

I wasn’t paying attention when I set mine up about 7 years ago so my email signature started with kind retards for about 3 weeks before it was kindly pointed out to me. Thankfully people recognised that the T button was right above the g button.

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MumbleSnix@reddit

I’m have sent more than one email with this sign off!

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ThronesOfAnarchy@reddit

I once managed a "good afterboob" and "kind retards" in the same email 😬 that was the day I added "Kind regards" to my name signature

A coworker once sent an email addressed to a supplier with the word "County" in their name spelled "Cunty".

Luckily good relationships were had on all sides and many laughs shated

[-]

JohnLennonsNotDead@reddit

“I’ll get back to you in a sex”

[-]

phatboi23@reddit

and many laughs shated

lmao

[-]

ThronesOfAnarchy@reddit

Fml

[-]

ImThatBitchNoodles@reddit

I had a dyslexic supervisor, he'd often make spelling mistakes. He left a note for me once that read "Please cunt the bedsheets and order more if needed."

[-]

_Cridders_@reddit

I had a friend who emailed, "If you put in regular orders, we can look at setting up some discocunts"

Best typo ever 😂

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phatboi23@reddit

"Please cunt the bedsheets and order more if needed."

that where you give them a good kicking and order more for the ones that don't survive said kicking?

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PipalaShone@reddit

Have nearly done this many times, when my nails are a little too long they hit the T instead of the G when I'm typing. Never actually sent, but I've changed my signature to include "Kind regards" so I don't have to type it each time; if I want a different sign off I can change it.

Went through a period of apologising for delays by saying I had been rather busty recently.I can't explain this one by keyboard layout.... I mean, I have got quite a chest but it's not something I ever mentioned on an email so it wasn't autocorrect either! Worked in a very "lad" culture at the time so got some interesting responses.

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Certain-Donut-9175@reddit

I once sent an email to very senior management of my organisation and a nearby acute hospital's senior management team stating we needed an urgent meeting because I had just had a phone call to tell me said hospitals "maternity services were shit". Shut. They were shut. They were also shit though, in my defence.

[-]

h00dman@reddit

This reminds me of the worst typo I ever sent in a work message.

It was on Microsoft Teams, and one of the young interns sent me a message asking for help understanding a report I'd released.

I was a bit busy so I replied "Sure, just give me a sec."

...

Take another look at your keyboard and take note of the character that is 1 letter to the left of "c".

After I'd finished apologising she thankfully replied with a lol emoji, but that was a scary few moments.

[-]

Equal-Individual-744@reddit

In a terrible moment that haunts me still, I once told a colleague in a teams message that I wouldn't be able to do something until the next week because I was 'too busty'. He was nice about it but clearly also mortified.

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PipalaShone@reddit

"Thankfully" my situation was in a time (2000s) and an environment (recruitment) that I thought it was funny, too. I was slightly worried about complaining that my low filing cabinet squeaked and the MD made a joke about me having "sticky drawers' though. I was 22, he was 45.

These days I am older, better informed, and more senior (in hospitality), and I protect our staff like a rabid dog.

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Mysterious_Hippo327@reddit

Haha I did something every similar when I responded to a lady called Mrs Dickens, but managed to swap the s for the letter to the right, which happens to be a D. Never heard back 😬

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Tape_Badger@reddit

One of my work colleagues CCd me in on an email in which she'd addressed the 'cuntstomer team'

Thankfully, they took it well.

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_ChiefBrody@reddit

Mine was King Regards at an old job for a long time, no where near as bad as yours haha

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kishmishari@reddit

I've done both in one. King retards. I was following up after an interview

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_ChiefBrody@reddit

Royal Tards for short? You win!

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Derezzed87@reddit

I'm a fast typer, but when I sign off an email with "kind regards", i suddenly turn into a pensioner who has never used a keyboard before.

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JLAshbourne@reddit

I had “king regards” for a while. Like I was Henry VIII giving them the nod I guess.

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Unable-Object-8469@reddit

kind retards hahahahaha this is so funny

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No-Round6844@reddit

I consider quite progressive and you consider changing it back

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dreamieux@reddit

i needed the laugh i just laughed

[-]

hallerz87@reddit

Oh man, that's really funny

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JohnLennonsNotDead@reddit

Yours Hornily

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HumanBe-in@reddit

Not unhinged but I've always thought 'live long and prosper' an excellent sign off. Im too chicken to do it though as I am surrounded by humourless prats and am already the 'weird one'.

[-]

ARobertNotABob@reddit

I got pulled up for ending my emails with "toodles".

Yeah, I know, I'm an animal, right?

[-]

wardyms@reddit

Kind Reggy Gees

[-]

pajamakitten@reddit

Getting a strong platty jubes vibes from that.

[-]

Serenaa12@reddit

Platty jubes had me cracking so hard when it came out.

We started making a list and we have nashy nums, savvy b, menty b, Jackie p, Tommy k.

[-]

rositree@reddit

Another realisation that I'm old, but the only one of these I know is the mental breakdown. Can I get a translation please?

Savage bitch? Jacket potato? Not even a guess for nashy nums tho

[-]

merryandpips@reddit

A few more I’ve heard on the street: Genny lec Panny d Cozzie livs Latty flow

[-]

SeverusSnape__@reddit

I use Chatty Gee to refer to the LLM.

[-]

Serenaa12@reddit

National Insurance number (yeah don’t ask), Sauvignon Blanc, jacket potato

[-]

ExcitementKooky418@reddit

I love/hate those. Find them hilarious in a silly way, but as with 'hollybobs' anyone using them unironically goes on the list

[-]

LRedditor15@reddit

I loved the panny d.

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TululaDaydream@reddit

Statey funes a few months later too

[-]

jty314@reddit

Can't forget cozzy livs as well :)

[-]

SunAndStratocasters@reddit

A gen Z approved approach

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TheDevilsButtNuggets@reddit

You mean Genny Zees right?

[-]

_Brooder_@reddit (OP)

"I hope this email finds you before I do"

[-]

vulva85@reddit

Accidentally sent 'Kind Retards' to a colleague, it has now become standard procedure.

[-]

Western-Caregiver897@reddit

Tepid regards, Baz

[-]

ExcitementKooky418@reddit

You must be from the neutral planet

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SunAndStratocasters@reddit

Fabulous

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ExcitementKooky418@reddit

Not quite a sign off, but I usually START emails with 'I hope this email finds you well' and amuse myself by thinking about putting a comma after the 'you'

For a sign off

If you have any further questions, please do ~~not~~ hesitate to contact us.

[-]

Certain-Donut-9175@reddit

After a very frustrating back and forth with our training and education department in my old job who had lost all my mandatory training records and were suggesting I redo the whole lot (weeks of work) I sent a bit of a howler stating I would not be doing that and signed it "Yours faithlessly". Nobody ever called me on it, which I was a little disappointed about to be honest. I left not long afterwards, awful organisation to work for, and at that point I had well and truly had enough of their incompetence and bullying and didn't give a shit if I got into trouble.

[-]

Rhubarb-Eater@reddit

When my brother was at Cambridge, a professor he really didn’t like had a few lines from Dante’s Inferno, in the original 14th century Italian, as his email signature. He knew that’s what it was because it said so underneath. So when my brother sent him an email, he put at the bottom of his in the identical style:

I eat my peas with honey I’ve done it all my life It makes the peas taste funny But it keeps them on the knife

[-]

Crazy_Cauliflower_74@reddit

The Lannister's Send Their Regards.

I had it for about a month before anyone noticed.

[-]

Aware_Ad_431@reddit

I know someone who signed corporate mails with ‘Bright Blessings’ which need a little unhinged in an energy company

[-]

Kind-Mathematician18@reddit

Bright blessings is common among pagans, as is blessed be.

[-]

Aware_Ad_431@reddit

I’d be uncomfortable with any kind of blessing from any faith in a work email.

[-]

AdnyPls@reddit

Rind Kegards,

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FloofyRaptor@reddit

An old colleague and I used to sign off with "Under his eye" because we both watched the Handmaid's tale and the department head could be micromanagy.

A manager I have currently (she's my boss's boss) absolutely loves Star Wars so we write "May the force be with you".

I did once work with a doctor who went by Dick. If you annoyed him instead of signing off "Regards, Dick" he would sign off "Regards, DICK".

[-]

cursed_cucumbers@reddit

May the Lord Open. I'm watching Handmaid's Tale for the 2nd time and I'm seeing worrying similarities to the current state of the world. It makes me sad and I have to occasionally switch to watch something mindless and trivial.

[-]

suddle@reddit

There’s a new show in the same universe, The Testaments. So far, it’s really good.

[-]

scarletohairy@reddit

Now I wish my name was Dick. Or Cunt.

[-]

DoctorOctagonapus@reddit

How long before someone responds to that Star Wars one with "And also with you"

[-]

Spiritual_Edge_1831@reddit

Under his eye 😂

[-]

Jayatthemoment@reddit

Were that my name, I would remove the comma and put it in italics.

[-]

windfall21@reddit

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER and then your initials

[-]

MrsTheBo@reddit

Wow that’s brutal. I may have cause to use it today!

[-]

sailormikey@reddit

Worked with a guy who replaced the company motto on his signature. First time round he replaced it with “luctor et submergo”. Second time round “arbei macht frei”. Neither lost him his job!

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hidingbehindyoursofa@reddit

I often accidentally type Retards, John at the end of an email to someone who is being a dick.

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anyavailible@reddit

This works: Regardless and irrespective,

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Doineann@reddit

“In this case not so kind regards” was one a colleague of mine received

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FlippedHope@reddit

That's one to remember!

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Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit

‘Sent from my cushion fort ‘

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cursed_cucumbers@reddit

And if on holiday abroad "Sent from My Sunlounger"

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smartief1@reddit

Love this, might try it

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LobCatchPassThrow@reddit

“Warm regards” escalated to “hot regards” and finally “infernal regards” before we knocked it off in the office.

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cursed_cucumbers@reddit

Dying hahahaha that is so fucking funny

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smartief1@reddit

Lukewarm regards? Tepid regards?

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Pencilstrangler@reddit

Frozen regards

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Cheese_Dinosaur@reddit

I used ‘warmly’ for a while. It’s a bit ick.

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ceehred@reddit

After being instructed to include our pronouns in our email signatures (he/him, etc.) a few decided to make up their own: sir/master, lord/god, ninja/ninjas, etc.

The trend didn't last long (Haigh-Arrrr!)....

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CHISMAY@reddit

"please refrain from doing these acts, I am liable in this situation and I don't need months and months of being in court for fighting a murder charge again"

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Aggressive_Way4519@reddit

“What is one thing you love about living in the UK that tourists usually don't notice?”

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dirty-salsa@reddit

This feels like a chance to plug this thing I do (mostly for my own amusement but I also upload them on Insta for my friends) where I write weird signatures every Friday to the umbrella and recruiter who do my payroll. It’s less risky as it’s not a direct colleague so I feel it is weird enough for a small buzz but no huge jeopardy. Only got called out once because one joke ‘crossed the line’.

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amulchinock@reddit

Love you, bye!

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Overall-Habit5284@reddit

When I was leaving my old job, I took annual leave before my last 'official' day. I set my out-of-office to:

"I am now gone forever. Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast."

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Sad_Breakfast_5596@reddit

I’m more of an email opener type of guy.

Hi NAME,

I hope this email finds you before I do.

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kalendral_42@reddit

‘For those of you about to rock, we salute you’

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Snuggleworthy@reddit

For Karl!

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CuntVonCunt@reddit

It entirely depends on who I'd be emailing

Within my team, I reckon I could get away with just about anything that isn't directly threatening and/or offensive

I did have a colleague that was on leave recently and their OOO response was "I'm on leave so I won't see your email until I get back. If it's urgent, go outside and shout really loud - if I don't hear you, I'll respond to your email when I get back" which I enjoyed

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KezzaJones@reddit

This is great

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ThatNiceDrShipman@reddit

I one misspelled 'regards' in my email signoff, with a 't' instead of a 'g', and nobody complained l

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deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]

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AutoModerator@reddit

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Mekazabiht-Rusti@reddit

Kind Retards,

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George_Salt@reddit

With all the respect due,

GS

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DoctorOctagonapus@reddit

Found Lemony Snicket's account

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McGubbins@reddit

I'm seriously tempted to put 'DILLIGAF' into my email signature, as a nod to the legendary Bill Bailey.

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jtothemofudging@reddit

Kevin Bloody Wilson?

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JackXDark@reddit

There are a few professional certification type things that include letters that I'm entitled to put after my name, like MCIM FRSA and shit like that. I generally don't bother, but I'm now tempted to start doing so, and add DGAF.

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knots_cycle@reddit

“Stay fresh cheese bags”

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AnotherLeda@reddit

Chef Excellence Approved

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Mane_UK@reddit

Boomshanka

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OverAddition3724@reddit

Go Fuck Yourself, San Diego.

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Duochan_Maxwell@reddit

Lukewarm regards

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Few-Rich9356@reddit

Does this work better if your name is Luke?

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LukeyC224@reddit

Yes

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Grouchy_Medium9033@reddit

Please hesitate to contact me

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OnlyProblems@reddit

Been laughing at big juicy regards for the past 10 minutes. Holy hell.

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AbsoluteMince@reddit

"Yours Lustfully"

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James20985@reddit

Used to have "everybody wants to be a special hedgehog" in Latin on my email for about 6 years.

No one questioned it, several very senior people said it looked good but didnt ask what it meant.

Worked in government.

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WingingItSince87@reddit

I like “reluctant regards”

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Rossco1874@reddit

Not email sign off but we had a manager who insisted on a handover at the end of every day..often this was blank with no issues.

We started to add random works in white text at the bottom that was never noticed it was quite amusing seeing what colleagues had signed off the document with.

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ChoakIsland@reddit

I almost Fwd an email including the customer and asked someone to 'help fix this customers account'.

But account missed the CO.

Saved before I hit send.

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ScottishExile@reddit

When I worked for a utility company, a lad in the operational call centre signed off an e-mail to a colleague, with several executive stakeholders in the chain, as Ops-Timus Prime.

He later got sacked for falling asleep at his desk watching films on his laptop. Customers complained they heard him snoring when their call connected.

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Interceptor@reddit

Not really outrageous, but I set mine to read, "love you" for a while, just to see what would happen.

Got a few love you too's back surprisingly.

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Miss_Type@reddit

Aw, this is so lovely. Love you.

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Interceptor@reddit

Haha, it's probably not what the CEO was expecting but no one seemed to mind.

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pajamakitten@reddit

"This person has a kind heart. I should promote them."

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Interceptor@reddit

That's definitely how corporate life works ;)

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Nice-Rack-XxX@reddit

I changed my colleague’s autocorrect to change “Regards,” to “Love you,”.

This was back in the day when Outlook would wait until you click Send before spell checking too.

He didn’t notice for 3 weeks.

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TheDaemonette@reddit

I once got slightly bored during a work trip about 7 or 8 years ago and wrote an out of office response like a mission log that had me going to various parts of the world, investigating a cat plot to take over the planet and establish a shadow government. So, everywhere I went, I wrote a page on my investigations around local landmarks and encounters with cats who were clearly following me and trying to interfere with my investigations. I did it over half a dozen work trips at around a once per month frequency and the reply got sent to anyone within the company who even copied me on an email. I started to get a bit 'alliterative' in my last one and referred to the plot of the 'pernicious pussies' before my boss told me that although he found them funny, he could imagine how some higher up managers probably would not appreciate them. I stopped after that but I was later told that some people would send me random emails just to read if I had an OOO response turned on to get the next chapter.

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smartief1@reddit

I did similar in the early days of the first COVID lock down. Sometimes it was an uplifting quote, sometimes a cocktail recipe, or a cake recipe, a yoga position, or just a story about trying to teach my kids, work, shop socially distanced etc.

By mid change them every few days. I was trying to be a bright spot when everyone was stressed and worried (I work in healthcare) I was getting emails from so many different people from loads of different organisations who just wanted to see if there was a new one, and who I didn't know or work with.

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decloked@reddit

This is mild, but the majority of management have "Sent from my iPhone", for obvious reasons. I've had "Sent from my StarTAC" for ages, nobody has questioned it.

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GuybrushFunkwood@reddit

“So long and thanks for all the fish”

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811545b2-4ff7-4041@reddit

This is a mandatory way of signing off your last email in a job before moving on elsewhere

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limedifficult@reddit

Which I left my job in Baghdad after 2.5 years, I ended my goodbye email to my colleagues and much disliked boss with exactly that. I was already in a hotel room in Amman when I sent it so they couldn’t do much.

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B0bbaDobba@reddit

Saw that once, was very impressed.

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Rumhampolicy@reddit

See you next Tuesday?

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Brilliant_Bowler_994@reddit

I know head teacher of a massive school that signs off his emails with 'Master of Minds'

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Interesting-Star9700@reddit

I once sent an email (to a rep of someone with a level of fame) which ended with "Apologies for any incontinence".

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sanehamster@reddit

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER

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Ellajt@reddit

My middle aged engineer husband signs off his emails ‘team Jacob’

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Altruistic_Hawk7061@reddit

I have done this for years and my cakes are very moist

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ElJayEm80@reddit

Opening: I hope this email finds you in a well. Closing: Peace out mic drop

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capcrunch217@reddit

I work for a developer as a director and am very close to my site team who live up to the reputation of typical contractors. I could probably sign off with any form of expletive and they would retort back in kind. I don’t because standards, but I enjoy knowing that I have that relationship with them.

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Nandor1262@reddit

One of my mates had a colleague who was a prick. He left his computer unlocked and my friend changed his email footer from his name followed by (MEng) to (MInge).

He was using it for quite some time before anyone noticed

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Conscious-Ball8373@reddit

I didn't get away with it, but I once had an automatic signature generator that appended a random quote to each email. Unfortunately, when I was emailing HR about whether I'd been paid correctly, it selected Groucho Marx: "A child of five could understand this. Someone fetch me a child of five."

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alicatpow@reddit

Just to help you guys narrow judge where the line is - I asked my manager a few years back if I could sign off "cowabunga dudes," and she said "absolutely not, are you mad?" so ...

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bogyoofficial@reddit

Wishing you the day you deserve

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tt-23@reddit

This is perfect

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powelly@reddit

Not intentional but I once saw someone sign of retards instead of regards....

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stoufferthecat@reddit

For the love of all that is holy,

Stouffer

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sock_cooker@reddit

Respect due Stouffer

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slothliketendencies@reddit

My colleague puts something really on the line every time.

Usually something like 'kindest, warmest, fuzziest regards'

As far as I'm aware no one ever said anything.

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AllThatIHaveDone@reddit

It needs to be almost funny but not offensive, like Catch you on the rebound,

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sock_cooker@reddit

Was it Ian Paisley?

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JeffSergeant@reddit

Communidee

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nozzle83@reddit

Was he Glaswegian? Bit of a Rangers football phrase that might have greater implications if used in that city.

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CactusCastrator@reddit

I usually end mine with "yours reluctantly" and nobody has ever flagged it.

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Happily-Incorrect@reddit

GFY San Diego

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coomzee@reddit

No regards

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anabsentfriend@reddit

Regardless

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FragrantCow2645@reddit

No regards, or the alarmingly possible “kind retards”

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TravellingPineapple@reddit

I had a union rep who would sign off emails with “Strength and honour, comrades”

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mattay22@reddit

Not quite signoff but I had suplex city as my location beneath it

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limedifficult@reddit

In my early 20s I was a logistics person for a very technical nonprofit during the Iraq war. I was based in Baghdad surrounded by extremely brilliant people who could barely tie their own shoelaces and it was an unspoken part of my job to ensure they didn’t fuck up their lives too much. A few months before I left, I began signing my emails, “cat herder in chief.”

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Rude_Conversation618@reddit

When I was dismissed from a job I knew that they would take forever to actually delete me from the system ( there were people who had been gone 18 months still on the OT roster )

So my out of office was “Hello there, I will be out of the office … indefinitely”

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mmoonbelly@reddit

In the old glory days of consulting, older colleagues used to sign off with weather reports from wherever the f*ck they’d ended up on the client’s account.

“Best regards from a sultry Sulawesi…”.

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Equal-Individual-744@reddit

Someone I have to email semi-regularly at work does not his organisation's corporate template for signatures, like absolutely else in this kind of role, but instead has his name in very large letters, each one a different colour of the rainbow. I like this because it isn't actively inappropriate but it conveys clearly and correctly that he's a bit unhinged.

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Kaurblimey@reddit

Someone once signed off Retards instead of Regards. I was like wow, finally some honest feedback!

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KiwiNo2638@reddit

My leaving email signed off with "see you next time". A bit late for getting sacked as they'd already laid me off

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_hariarchy_@reddit

At my old job, I signed off with “mic drop”. Which was fine until it went to my boss’ boss, who didn’t appreciate it as much.

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opticchaos89@reddit

Pumpkins and penguins

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intotheneonlights@reddit

Someone I used to work with used to sign off with BWTx - which translates to best wishes T[om] x

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Teawillfixit@reddit

My internal sign off at the moment is "barely surviving, and assuredly not thriving, teawillfixit"

Just need to make sure I delete it if replying to the HoD.

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StairliftForGlokta@reddit

I would love to have the courage to use Spike Milligan's signoff, 'Love, light and peace', I think it's lovely, but these days it maybe sounds a bit too much like a motivational quote that you see in many homes, usually on fake distressed grey driftwood, next to a gigantic wall clock.

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Teawillfixit@reddit

A cringe as this is I used to work somewhere that we all signed "in love and solidarity"

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Yung_Cheebzy@reddit

“May the seed of your loins flourish in the belly of your woman”

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Budget_Horror_350@reddit

Yes! Boom shanka!!

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Venoxulous@reddit

I hit my boss with king retards once, genuinely unintended, my phone knows what words I type i guess...

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No-Round6844@reddit

“Safe blud”

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Distinct-Lion4658@reddit

Best retards.

The letter "t" is right next to "g" on the keyboard and nobody can prove it wasn't a simple typo

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affordable_firepower@reddit

I meant to end an email with a plain 'regards'

But I mis-typed.

Retards,

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thorn312@reddit

I used to always set my out of office to something stupid in my last job.

Some I used were

If you urgently need me, please hesitate to contact me

Xoxo Gossip Girl

AGGRESSIVE AIRHORN SOUNDS

YEET

Contact me on pain of death

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Dimac99@reddit

I like the first one, plausible deniability defence!

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thorn312@reddit

Definitely. I should add that I knew pretty much everyone in that place who would likely have emailed me and got on with all of them so it was always taken as light hearted. I wouldn't get away with it here for the most part.

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WinoBagLady@reddit

Tepid wishes

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anonoaw@reddit

After I handed in my 3 month notice at my last job, I started signing off all my emails with xoxo gossip girl

If anyone noticed they didn’t say anything 😂

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minnis93@reddit

After I handed in my notice I changed my signature to have a disclaimer at the bottom saying "my last working day is 15th March. If your email is urgent, please contact another member of the team. For all other enquiries, please wait until 16th March."

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Radioactive_Shrimp@reddit

I applied for a position in international sales, huge clients, the works. But I’m stupid so I sent it from a trash mail ”Thelizardking@…..”

Not the same thing, but I was called to an interview!

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DependentRounders934@reddit

Isnt it quite difficult to fire people in the uk

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Happy_Chief@reddit

Unless they have less than 2 years service, they can be fired for no reason, or conduct is considered "gross misconduct".

For example signing an email off with

"Eat shit and die." Would result in immediate firing without notice.

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EvilTaffyapple@reddit

None of this is right. There is a process.

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Select-Blood-1778@reddit

Best sign off so far!

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

"Eat shit and die." Would result in immediate firing without notice.

I don't know. There's a lot of factors I'd consider and if it were someone who until now had been a reasonable person I'd take it as a sign of stress rather than malice.

They'd get a talking to, but that talking to would also include a bit about how they felt and if they needed to talk to a professional

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Happy_Chief@reddit

Looool, you're actually right.

How about "Eat shit and die, you racist slur ?"

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

Realistically they'd need a fair bit to save them in that situation, probably as much as being sectioned or hospitalised. Depending on how widely it was disseminated not doing something could create a hostile atmosphere in the wider team

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TH1CCARUS@reddit

Bizarre Email sign-off. 10/10

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EyeAware3519@reddit

Firing people for being bad at their job is almost impossible if they've been there more than 2 years. Failing to adhere to policies in the company handbook, piece of piss.

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JobAnxious2005@reddit

Let me introduce you to the PIP 😂

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Browbeaten9922@reddit

Yah what's this person talking about. Really easy to put someone on a random pip, have them fail and dismiss

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Independent-Tax-3699@reddit

When I was fairly new in IT as a young tech support person I changed my email signature to “Chief Technology Officer”, no one noticed for months.

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Active-Strawberry-37@reddit

Thanks, regards and don’t make me come over there

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Nevernonethewiser@reddit

I have, on a greater number of emails that one, signed off an email with "Yours".

To: whomever@place.ext

[My grievance, succinctly].

I look forward to this being resolved.

Yours, [Nevernonethewiser]

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Flaramon@reddit

Sincerely, Claude 4.7

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Low-Captain1721@reddit

If it's my resignation email then just (up) 'Yours' will generally suffice (unless I'm considering legal action then you have to be more careful with language 😃

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OddControl2476@reddit

References aren't a thing in your line of work?

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Low-Captain1721@reddit

Whenever I've ever left jobs either refs have already been taken up by next employer & I have a contract or I've seriously fallen out with them and wouldn't get a reference anyway (this has only happened twice)

I'm early forties at mid level & references have only been taken up approx 1 in 3 jobs anyway.

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Happy_Chief@reddit

References arent really a thing anywhere.

These days, they just say "Person X worked here from Y to Z, in the position of Job Title, they had X number of sick leave instances"

[-]

And

“ goodbye tigress”

[-]

_Brooder_@reddit (OP)

Goodbye tigress gave me a good laugh

[-]

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