Daycab drivers what do you do if you shit your pants

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Xx_Frosty@reddit

I just let loose in the trailer. The dock workers will sweep it anyway

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vlkzig@reddit

You gotta shit your pants at least once to claim the truck

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Pitiful-MobileGamer@reddit

Don't shit your pants.

Stop, anywhere. Local popo is just going to think you're on delivery, put the park anywhere lights on and go take care of business before business takes care of you.

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I wish I could still just turn on the park anywhere lights. Takes special equipment to load or unload me. Suppose I could pretend I was looking for a fabricator and got lost. But that won't fly with a lot of the cops in NOLA.

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Shingo__@reddit

Could always just say you needed to take a phone call but obviously didn’t want to do it while driving, so you pulled over.

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ZipTieTechnicianOne@reddit

Cant stop commerce. Cant stop me from using the terlet either.

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falardeau03@reddit

Since everyone else is giving joke answers and despite this being a somewhat bone question...

Phrasing was "if you shit your pants", as in, already have, not "think you might" or "are about to"... I've never dealt with this situation personally, but have travelled a shitton (ha) for both fun and profit.

So... assuming civilization is nearby, pull over, find a restroom, decontaminate, combat-loss the undergear, buy replacements, and presumably do the same with your pants although depending on the situation they might be salvageable. A truly dedicated and/or poverty-stricken individual might retain either or both until they can be deconned in turn, but you'll need a way to manage scent and containment.

If civilization is not nearby, then basically the same procedure, minus the restroom, and at the mercy of whatever supplies you did or did not bring.

In an ideal world, you have shit tickets, paper towel or napkins, hand sanitizer, a change of clothes, etc.

In a cruel world, you have none of that shit (ha), in which case you wanna hope there's vegetation nearby and you know how to differentiate poison ivy or whatever.

In an emergency, foolscap/looseleaf, printer paper, or receipts etc. (depending on material) can also be crumpled and uncrumpled repeatedly. This process won't exactly make them Cottonelle®️ soft, nor absorbent, but it will make them a hell of a lot more pliable and therefore better suited to the field-expedient wipe than a lot of other options. You can get ~8-12 wipes out of a standard A4 / 8½×11" sheet if you tear and fold it correctly.

If you truly have nothing remotely useful of your own supply for the purpose, then if you have a sharp object you can cut strips off a garment. Said garment, or what's left of it, can also go between you and the seat to avoid embarrassing explanations later.

There's also the upholstery, though good luck explaining that. You may also be able to cannibalize some part of your cargo. Again explanations and risks versus outcomes.

If the situation is explosive, you'll want Immodium as soon as you can get it. Follow the instructions and do not double up doses. An auxiliary episode at the side of the road, even if it's gotta be in full view of other motorists, is better than harming your body.

Not shitting your pants, as many others in the thread have said, is always the best option, but I assume you're asking for a reason. Besides, they're all acting like it somehow magically couldn't be them. Everybody gotta plan until they get punched in the mouth by the Shit Fairy.

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nekaiser@reddit

It’s not hard to keep your pants unshat. You have to be at least 18 to drive a truck, that’s plenty of time to learn what your body needs. If shitting your pants is a serious issue for you, you don’t have the mental faculties to be driving a truck anyway.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that food poisoning and the like are excuses either. We all know what Taco Bell is. You know what gamble you took when you ate it. Hell, I take fiber gummies and have not shit my pants. It’s not that hard to know where you are and where the next throne is. That’s all it takes.

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No_Ocelot4019@reddit

Is this like a legit thing?? Ive been on the road for a few years with a hiatus to food service in the middle (hated it every second I hated it mostly the company foodservice delivery guys... hats off to you) and have never shit my pants I stopped doing that around age 4? Go to the bathroom more often guys like holy hell if you got diarrhea take some pepto or tums and roll on (ibs excluded my little cousin has that I understand its quite the burden)

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Snappypants9@reddit

I have not done this but I always carry a complete set of extra clothes - it doesn’t take much room and I figure it is worth the hassle.

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MacandMandy69@reddit

Don’t let it get to that point, and always, always have a travel bag with toiletries, fresh change of drawers, and a change of clothes.

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J_cam202@reddit

Real truckers shit their pants to make sure they aren’t late getting to the customer. I wear size medium.

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devilinblue22@reddit

I wear extra-large just in case it has to happen more than once.

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Baconated-Coffee@reddit

Real truckers don't wear pants

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HighwayStar71@reddit

Real truckers don't wear ~~pants~~ panties. Fixed it for you.

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WallaWallaby011@reddit

This girl does! 🙃😂

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Desperate_Fee_808@reddit

Respect to the women

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HighwayStar71@reddit

That's not what I really meant. Sit in backed up traffic with the CB on and you'll know what I'm talking about.

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WallaWallaby011@reddit

Everybody keeps telling me I need to get a CB. Maybe I should? 🤔

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HighwayStar71@reddit

Not as many people use them anymore but it can really help prevent you from getting stuck in a big backup or driving into bad road conditions if a driver warns everyone, or vice versa. Sometimes, you can check in with a CB. I like having one but I spent the last two years driving without one because it was broken. I didn't miss it that much but I wished I had one several times.

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december151791@reddit

Real truckers don't shit

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supernova-juice@reddit

Real truckers don't

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25_Unknown_Devices@reddit

That’s called constipation!!

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Baconated-Coffee@reddit

That explains why most drivers are full of shit

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DemonicPsycho13@reddit

Make it the company’s problem

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xur_ntte@reddit

I'm local I give a damn about being on time lol I'm going home

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CarPatient@reddit

It depends...

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Natste1s4real@reddit

35 years, never shit my pants.

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post_mah_bone@reddit

The secret is you don't ever wear pants

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Natste1s4real@reddit

You figured me out! Thank you so much for the wonderful laugh.

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highlyelevated_207@reddit

I always kept an emergency bag with a few socks, boxers, toilet paper and a few other cosmetics plus ramen and water bottles in the truck just in case.

I did have my own truck though, no slip seating when I was local.

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post_mah_bone@reddit

Cut a hole in your pants and sit on a bedpan. Just slip the contents into the nearest bucket at the next Loves.

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AdventurousAbility30@reddit

Buy a bed pan. Line it with a plastic bag & puppy pad, then just slip it under you and go. Buy the Walmart brand Rascal and Friends baby wipes, and some Odoban for cleanup, and you won't even need to leave your truck if it's the middle of winter/a storm. It's not glamorous, but it's much more discreet than popping a squat outside of the truck.

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AaronTuplin@reddit

I carry unscented baby wipes to wipe my hands with, but I guess in a pinch you could probably use those on your butt.

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Cardinal_350@reddit

In 25+ years and millions of miles I've never shit inside my truck and never will. Anyone that does is a fucking animal

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WallaWallaby011@reddit

I know of some people with bad IBS and they only get a ten second or so warning before their body makes them go, they can't control it... Though, if I had that problem I probably wouldn't choose the trucking industry. I don't know how you'd make that work.

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AaronTuplin@reddit

That guy should work at a toilet paper factory in quality control

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Yz-Guy@reddit

Thats me. Been in the industry for 15 years. They make medicine that helps this a ton. On it, I have like1 or 2 movements a day. And I have all the time in the world to react. Off of it, I get sometimes about 25 seconds from feeling fine to shitting my pants. And this can occur 3, 4, 5 times a day. Etc. Its a miserable experience and i dont wish it on anyone.

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PrivatePilot9@reddit

30+ years here and same same.

Not once in my life, either.

Now, I’ve had to take a few emergency dumps in the forest on an off ramp or on ramp or whatever over those decades because of unexpected GI upset or whatever, but never once shit my pants in my adult life, much less driving career.

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trucksarekewl@reddit

Bro i felt the same until I damn near had a um...major accident. Had to let it go into a bag while parked on the shoulder lol. I literally had no other option

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droptozro@reddit

I day cab driver 8-11 hours per day and work unloading trailers on RTs and U-boats. I usually don't go the bathroom during the day cause I don't eat til I get home. Solves the problem most of the time. First meal isn't usually til 12pm-3pm during the week.

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Slough-House_75@reddit

Now the stories where you didn’t make it!

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Responsible_Web5514@reddit

I carry emergency underwear and shorts

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Petemarsh54@reddit

After I got hit with a virus I thought I kicked and trusted the wrong fart, I had to use the change of clothes and baby wipes I keep in my backpack, stopped at a tractor supply and cleaned up and changed

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TemporaryOk9310@reddit

Shitting in the woods

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onedarkhorsee@reddit

Yep been there

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Lpgasman1@reddit

Make a gap between the cab and tires for a reason go on the side of the road

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librarydirective@reddit

I carry toilet paper in my truck. But my most important rule is always a backup pair of shorts, workshirt, and socks. And yes it has come in handy…

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bigolchimneypipe@reddit

Don't forget the 5 gallon "trash" bucket with extra trash bags

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CarPatient@reddit

Don't forget the wipes... It takes lots of wipes to get it out of your boots.

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_PeacefulGhost_@reddit

Lay my back against a fuel tank and let ‘er rip

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TruckerDono@reddit

What do you mean if

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briggswag@reddit

Get into a decent shit schedule so I have to poop roughly the time I get home everyday, but also have customers that have bathrooms so I never end up in that situation

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AutumnBrooks2021@reddit

If you’re running local, you should bring a bag of extra clothes in case it’s raining and you get soaked or get sick or etc. Expect the unexpected.

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ScallyWag-Idiot@reddit

Try again tomorrow

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phunny-words@reddit

I keep a 5 gallon bucket with cleaning supplies along with heavy duty trash bags that can and has served as an emergency shitter.

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HighwayStar71@reddit

In a day cab?

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tidyshark12@reddit

Wipe it up, change underwear and pants. Preferably, you would stop long before you get to this point... but, ive had diarrhea before. Ik how that works... especially before you know you have diarrhea and think you can trust that fart 😅

I always keep immodium and pepto with me for this reason, too. Any antidiarrheal will work, but immodium is the best imo. If my stomach feels weird or making some strange noises, I take a swig of the pepto.

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Timmy98789@reddit

Change the driving diaper, duh.

/s

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ios_static@reddit

Use the bathroom before work and don’t eat food that make you shit yourself. But for a rare emergency, as soon as you feel it coming I find my closest McDonald’s, or Wawa, they always have a bathroom

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supernova-juice@reddit

And McDonald's usually has stalls that allow actual privacy, speaking as a dasher who uses a lot of restaurant bathrooms

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Boltentoke@reddit

If the shitter is in the same area as the pisser and not in its own stall, that is not a multi person bathroom

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supernova-juice@reddit

Well, I'm mostly familiar with the women's room, and McDonald's has stalls that don't have gaps. I was only trying to help.

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P3asantGamer@reddit

Don't eat food that you're not sure if it will give you the bubble gut or not.
Know all the good spots to pull over on your route.
Don't eat foods that'll give you bubble gut.

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corpsebrigade@reddit

If your turds are small enough you can always shit in a pringles can.

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Outlaw_Trucker@reddit

That's not just rando shit there. You've actually done this! 🤣

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Trappin4DaSport@reddit

why are you shitting your pants as a grown adult lets start there 😂

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supernova-juice@reddit

I did this once when I worked at Kmart. I didn't even know i was going to fart. I stiffened up so quick... I genuinely considered just walking out and not saying anything and never coming back. I had to ride the bus home, sitting at a weird angle, in a seat that already smelled like piss. It was a very long day.

I'm really sorry for you, man. That sucks.

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Euphoric-Highlight-5@reddit

There's a reason they call it slip seat

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wizoneaia@reddit

?

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chico-dust@reddit

Drive back to base, park it, don't tell anyone, not my problem anymore.

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czina123@reddit

I’ve never shit my pants but if it’s that bad I’d just call and tell them I have to go home. This ain’t over the road I can just go home sick

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TwoToadsKick@reddit

Drill hole in chair, drill hole below hole through cab floor and shit on street whilst driving.

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ThePr0fessi0nal@reddit

I have a little white bucket, Walmart plastic bags and toilet paper. My girlfriend would also bring me clean clothes anywhere I went but if she wasn't there I would keep clean clothes in my backpack.

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Dorito-Bureeto@reddit

I had a few people I know back in the day pull over on a empty road and go under their trailer. Had the tp roll with them and everything when it was an emergency

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gale_force@reddit

I shake it down into my socks and then wash my feet at the next stop.

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tinkdatank@reddit

I don't shit my pants, if it's that desperate I do a sort of wall sit against the guardrail on a leftward bend so my truck blocks me and there's nothing behind me but trees and let it go there. I drive at night so I have the cover of night to help with that.

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izzy8o8@reddit

One time I woke up after a night of eating them pilot hot wings. Lemme tell you I found a bucket and window wipes so fast you would’ve thought I was a navy seal looking for bin Laden

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melovemelongtimee@reddit

Just got a tip that I haven’t used. Pull over on the side of the road. Use the back tandem tires. You should be able to sit on them and take a shit without anyone seeing you

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TheRiftsplitter@reddit

Keep a poop bucket with a couple bags and baby wipes. Throw the bag away when you fuel up.

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ZorosonD@reddit

If you're shitting yourself as an adult, are you sure you're responsible enough to be driving?

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SirKevin_Xx@reddit

Wake up early enough to get it all out at home.

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duckbobtarry@reddit

Make sure to invest in a Shit-Jug™️ (wider mouth model compared to piss jugs) for next time.

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Stunning_Sentence_40@reddit

Ummm what …….., I’ll find a gas station and if nothing around there is always a hand full of towels and the woods

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bananslickarn@reddit

By not pooping on the job, my bowel is scheduled for when I get home usually and its never been an issue knock on wood

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FloppyTacoflaps@reddit

Is pants shitting a major concern for you?

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95blackz26@reddit

Never trust a fart.

But also carry toilet paper or paper towels. You know something to wipe with. But yeah it's also best not to shit your pants

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Bad-fathertrucker@reddit

I try not to but I also keep a spare pair of pants and undies just in case.