Did your grandparents help you pay for college?
Posted by dms2628@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 76 comments
First gen american here and I am just learning how much help some of you all had. People in my circle talk so casually about grandparents paying for vacations, college, gifts for birthdays and holidays their whole life….Damn, ignorance is bliss 🤣. Growing up for me it was the opposite, we had to support our family back in their third world country. Ok, I’ll put the violin away now.
Somethingisshadysir@reddit
My grandparents were long gone, and not wealthy.
FunksGroove@reddit
Half my grandparents were gone before I was born and the other half when I was a baby. I paid for my own college. I did go to a community college first and was able to get a scholarships when I moved on.
rangeghost@reddit
I got gifts for Christmas and money for birthdays (in the $20 range), but I never got anything life-changing.
No college fund, no car, no help with down payments.
Crowedsource@reddit
Same. They paid nothing for any of it. I've been financially independent from my parents since I was 19.
I think my parents (mom and stepdad and dad and stepmom) contributed around $1000 each to the cost of my inexpensive DIY backyard wedding when I was 27.
The only time I ever received a large sum of money from family was when my first husband's family gave us around $50,000 when we got married. We ended up spending a chunk of that on a moving overseas and then 10 years later we ended up getting divorced and whatever was in our savings (after spending a bunch on traveling to visit family when we lived abroad for 7 years and then moving to the US), ended up being split between us.
I've still never been able to buy a house despite being back in the US for 11 years.
I
Salty-Tea6815@reddit
I’m sorry someone had the gall to downvote you just explaining your lived experience. wtf is wrong with ppl on here??!!
MeatPopsicle10@reddit
Just throwing this out there but once I was on Reddit while waiting for my kid to fall asleep in my arms and accidentally downvoted something when I was shifting positions. I was horrified but that’s when I learned you can click it again to change your vote.
(But also there are a lot of assholes in this world.)
Crowedsource@reddit
Don't know... don't care
It's reddit, known to be full of assholes who aren't even aware enough to ask AITA...
puer_mendax_00@reddit
Yes I think this would be the most common answer. Not sure why it’s not an option, haha
kalventure@reddit
Same for me here. $20 at Christmas and birthdays growing up but nothing beyond that
First gen college graduate.
Cromasters@reddit
Yeah I suppose I could have taken the ~$100 I could get from both side for both birthday and Christmas and put them into an account of some sort.
eastern_bird@reddit
Same here. I always received small monetary gifts for birthdays and holidays, but never an amount that anyone would realistically put aside for college, nor was I expected to. So no college savings to speak of. I ended up taking out student loans for everything that wasn't covered by a scholarship. But luckily I was able to pay them off, so overall things turned out all right.
ThoughtsOfYesterday@reddit
This. I don't mean this in anyway as an insult to their generosity. Everything was appreciated. Technically I did get gifts that could have all been saved for school, but the amounts were so small compared to the massive expense it would have been like filling a swimming pool with an eyedropper. 😂
Fly-by-Night-@reddit
Mine helped only by dying at an opportune time so I could use the money she left me to pay off my debt.
Birthday + Xmas presents as kid: very much, but just not in monetary form (beyond the odd $20 here or there)
martapap@reddit
3 of my grandparents were dead more than a decade before I was born. My one grandparent who was alive when I was born died when I was in elementary school. No inheritances. My mom gave me like $100 a semester , if that, and signed my fafsa whenever it was time to be renewed.
Valadrea@reddit
My mom was the youngest of 10, and my dad's parents were both dead before my parents got married. So there was absolutely nothing financial from my maternal grandparents, just happy visits every few years.
BogOBones@reddit
They gave me gifts, but I spent it right away. I went through college on the GI bill. Nobody in my family helped me.
Gabbiani@reddit
Most Americans aren’t that lucky. The ones in college that you meet ARE typically in the % of people who DO have the generational wealth to fall back on.
I was poor AF, and my siblings and I are first gen college graduates. We all had to pay our own way, figure out the system with zero help, and then learn how to navigate a whole different social class system than what we grew up with.
Entitlement and privilege are not really obvious to those who grow up with it, and will not always be something that they ever realize.
GaryNOVA@reddit
No. I did not go to college.
Lawwife78@reddit
No. They were all deceased before I hit high school.
Miz_momo82@reddit
If your grandparents helped pay for college I'd assume you're rich. If you have that money to throw around in old age on retirement you've got to have money.
At most I'd get $100 from my grandparents if it was a milestone occasion. I got no inheritance either, that rich people stuff too.
SomeoneHereIsMissing@reddit
All my grandparents were dead by the time I got to college.
BoredAccountant@reddit
I didn't get anything until after I graduated. Used most of the gifts to pay down my student loan balance.
SchucksAndMucks@reddit
Real question, did anyone have an expectation that your grandparents would help with college? I got cards and gifts from my grandma but she was living off of teacher pension money. This was $20 in cards for birthday for us grandkids money. Not, college tuition money!
TinyRandomLady@reddit
All of my grandparents were dead by the time I graduated high school. My parents did, however put what would be my inheritance from them into a college fund. So yes and no.
red_bird85@reddit
No on the college. Yes on gifts. They bought me my second car after my first car, 1985 Chevy Celebrity - $500 - burgundy - THE RED BIRD) completely shit the bed. They bought me (1996) when I was 17y an 87’ Buick LeSabre - swankyyy.
Spartan04@reddit
She didn’t help pay directly but my grandma did co-sign a student loan for me. So she helped indirectly in a way, though I paid the loan off so she never had to bear any responsibility for it.
Big-Honeydew-961@reddit
Only my maternal grandmother was alive when I went to college and she was disabled and in full-time care by the time I went to college.
Sensitive-Review-712@reddit
My grandma helped in the sense that she left me some money when she died, and that went towards my college. I would have rather had more time with her.
LQNova@reddit
No, my grandparents were all gone before I was born.
janellthegreat@reddit
My grandmother frequently gifted me savings bonds saying they would one day help me buy a house.
Allow me to testify one or two savings bonds a year in the 80s does not help one buy a house in 2026.
Warrior-Cook@reddit
They were one of the co-signers on the loans I'm still paying...so in a way, yea.
kimchiman85@reddit
Nope. My grandparents were all dead by that time. And my parents didn’t pay either. I got enough scholarships and loans to cover half my tuition and I worked my ass off to pay for the other half outta pocket.
I went to a private university by the way. At the time, the tuition was around 20k / year.
Pugets_Sounds@reddit
My scholarships I worked my axx off for paid for college. As a result I was more cautious with what classes I took and I now have zero college loans because I paid them off. Either we cancel this loan forgiving crap or those of us who paid off our loans should get extra money on our refunds when we file taxes.
HopelesslyHuman@reddit
No. They gave me small monetary gifts but like. $10 here, $20 there. Not substantial amounts to save. Pocket money for children, not significant sums to be "invested" or whatever.
slippedintherain@reddit
I did get some small gifts from my grandparents growing up but definitely not enough to pay for college. Two of my grandparents were dead before I graduated high school, and of the two remaining one was a toxic woman who loved to pit her relatives against each other and the other had substance abuse issues so I never expected any help to come from them. My parents took out loans to help pay for my education in addition to my own loans and scholarships.
481126@reddit
I never got any help from anyone. I was out of my parents house right after graduation. My brother got a car and all kinds of help. I got nothing.
My grandparents - one set could have helped but were too cheap and wouldn't have helped me. The other set survived on disability and couldn't help.
missnickypearl@reddit
I paid for college. Just me.
amberlicious35@reddit
Same and still paying for it! Light at the end of the tunnel though, 3 years and we’ll be completely debt free!
usernames_suck_ok@reddit
It was me via Sallie Mae and Citibank and the federal government.
Crowedsource@reddit
Same. I got lots of scholarships, though. And I worked throughout. My parents let me live at home the first year of college and then moved out when I was 19 and I've been financially independent ever since.
brakeb@reddit
Same... What the Navy didn't pay for, I did...
Now, because I am successful, we saved cash for our kid, but she got accepted to SDSU because of her superior grades and she went to community college for her Associates, so it was far cheaper
usernames_suck_ok@reddit
Never had grandparents.
UptownJunk802@reddit
No. They all died before I even hit high school.
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
I got help with my first couple years of tuition. Unfortunately, despite my grandfather having made some plans for us grandkids before he passed, those plans weren't communicated effectively, so it wasn't managed very well. It still helped a lot wkth those first college years. My other 6.5 years of post-secondary I worked through and paid for myself.
Pandoras_Fate@reddit
All I got from my grandparents was emotional abuse
djsynrgy@reddit
What's with this suggestion about Christmas/birthday gifts being "saved for college?"
Grandparents would send like $10, or $20, tops. Multiply that for every pre-college birthday and you've barely got enough for one textbook – maybe a few, if we're counting the Xmas money..
Nah, fam; there was no college fund. Each of my divorced parents apparently decided that was the other parent's responsibility. 🤷🏼♂️
splatooey123@reddit
No grandparents growing up.
GothLillith@reddit
My maternal grandparents didn't help pay for college, but I lived with them during college. This included free food, laundry, no rent, etc. It was massively helpful to me, since I didnt have to worry aboht those incidental expenses. They also gave us gifts for birthdays and most holidays.
My paternal grandparents gave us gifts here and there, but were never really birthday or holiday people, even when my dad was a kid.
Traditional_Entry183@reddit
I paid for college exclusively through student loans. No money from anyone. My family was fairly poor.
I did get money as a birthday gift once I was in my teens. (Like $20 a year)
FoppyRETURNS@reddit
For the upper crust of society, grandparents pay. I'm not upper crust.
LongjumpingJaguar308@reddit
My grandpa paid off everyone's student loans. There were only 5 of us and he was a NASA engineer so he could afford it once he'd mapped out expenses, though he did live 10 years past that or so, he could swing it.
UbiquitousBot@reddit
My college was partially paid by my deceased father's social security benefits. If that counts as a parent helping.
phoenix0r@reddit
No help whatsoever from anyone for college. In fact I had to request emancipation from my parents on my FAFSA thru a counselor referral so I didn’t have to use their tax return. Thank god for that. Even so, I took out $60k in loans for college and paid back every cent myself. Also paid my own way in terms of rent and car etc entirely since turning 18.
Top-Wolverine-8684@reddit
My grandparents gave us small amounts of cash for birthdays. Christmas was gifts, usually something practical my mom told them I needed.
My dad and stepdad both had good careers without college (my mom was a SAHM), so not only did my parents not think it was necessary, but they outright discouraged it, thinking it was a "waste of time". We didn't have college funds, and my grandparents never brought it up. I didn't find out how my parents felt about college until all of my friends were applying and planning to go away to school. When I brought up applications to my parents, my mom said, "umm... you can go to the local Junior college if you want, but that's your decision, and it's up to you to pay for it." They still had this outlook when my kids graduated high school.
My ex-husband's family is the exact opposite. His grandma went to college and was an accountant, and she put money aside for all of her great grandchildren to go to college. My inlaws set up 529's for my kids when they were babies. My parents never once contributed to those, despite my requests to donate to their college fund instead of getting them more toys when they were little. I will never understand why they are so antagonistic towards college.
Possible-Tangelo9344@reddit
No, I qualified for grants to pay for most of it cuz of our low income, I think my dad paid for books one semester when they were more expensive than the grant covered.
OkBaconBurger@reddit
Uncle Sam paid for my college in exchange for my youth. Being a 26 year old freshman is… weird.
strongcoffee2go@reddit
My grandparents did give me gifts and some money growing up but it was nothing that would ever add up to even my first year's books in college. One set of grandparents had plenty of money but they were just super stingy. The other side, my grandma had a good retirement pension but I didn't really expect her to give me extravagant gifts or help pay for college. I made a deal with my dad where he would give me a small amount every year for college and then I made up the rest with work, grants and loans. If you ask him he paid for the entire thing.
beeurd@reddit
No, and I didn't go to college/university.
viridiansoul@reddit
No, I didn't get that kind of support from my grandmother (my grandfather was a POS so I don't count him ever).
My family is poor on both sides. There was no financial support from anywhere. College was paid for through grants (though I was unable to finish due to a car accident).
FAYCSB@reddit
My grandparents gave me gifts but it was more like a $25 gift certificate. Not exactly something you can save for college.
Fianna9@reddit
My grandparents did RESPs for two of my sisters and invested in stocks for me (youngest)
I went to school at a good time so the stocks helped a lot, but it just covered college tuition. Would not have covered Uni and I paid most of my other expenses.
Though for the months I was in school my child support money got sent directly to me
alwaystheocean@reddit
My grandparents were quite well off, and I did get gifts from them from time to time throughout my childhood. No one helped me with college, though.
Immorpher@reddit
3rd gen American here. My grandparents died when I was very young, so I had no gifts from them. My parents were too poor to pay for my college so I didn't finish paying off my college loans until a week ago. For a lot of Americans I know it was the same for them too.
Rombonius@reddit
i'm in the middle here, no, they didnt help pay for college, but they did give money on birthdays, which my parents kept, presumably for college but who knows how much it was (maybe have helped buy some books in the end, lets be serious)
Jr5309@reddit
Heck no. I liked my grandpa, but he spent his money on vacations for him and his second wife.
I worked at UPS, they had tuition reimbursement. Then after I worked there for a year after college, they forgave the small loan I had to take from their employee assistance program.
bcentsale@reddit
My parents grifted and made poor financial decisions, and as a result had no money when it was needed. My grandparents basically raised me and helped me any time I asked, which was rarely because I was ashamed of my parents' shenanigans and fought my whole life not to be lumped in with them. My 100+ grandmother is still cleaning up after my 75yo mother, who I cut out 6 years ago, and it's beyond embarrassing.
pendejo-san@reddit
There’s a naturalness to giving and receiving this kind of help.
It’s a deceptive sort of thing. The American dream is not what it once was.
The land is had in a way it wasn’t 200 yrs ago, and friends help each other.
Starting from square one isn’t the prospect it once was.
SteveEcks@reddit
My parents helped out with college massively.
My grandmother had Alzheimer's and by the time she was diagnosed... it was less than 2 years and she was gone. While she was still alive, they gave me her car.
someguyfromsk@reddit
Unfortunatly no.
My grandparents told all of us they would pay for any post-secondary school their grandchildren wanted to take. All of my older cousins took full advantage of that, I was the 7th grandchild to start my education and I knew I wasn't getting anything. I had watched the struggle my sister had to get money from her, she was just tired of writing checks.
Student loans screwed me over my 2nd year also since my father, who wasn't giving me a fucking dime, made too much money. I was living on pennies my last few months, his advice was to drop out and get a job.
BritOnTheRocks@reddit
They barely had enough money to support themselves! Besides, I only had one grandparent left by the time I was in university and she asked me to help her apply to an assisted living home.
So, no.
Funkopedia@reddit
No, they ded. My parents had me when they were older, also we're refugees.
IceSmiley@reddit
I went on full baseball scholarship but they regularly sent me money I used for just life expenses
bgva@reddit
Grandparents did more than enough for me leading up to, during, and after college so I never really thought about it much. My freshman year, my granddad won a high five-figure lottery jackpot and I was able to get a laptop rom that.
Other than that, scholarships, grants, and student loans covered my education. Especially the student loans. Hi, ~~Sallie Mae~~, ~~Navient~~, Mohela.
AnySultan@reddit
I joined the Army and used GI Bill
de_propjoe@reddit
Multi-gen American here. It might work if the grandparents are rich or only have a couple of grandchildren. But if they’re like me and my wife’s grandparents, they had a dozen or so grandchildren and were definitely not rich. So no.
FaithlessnessThin359@reddit
I paid for college and worked, my parents screamed at me for not giving them my first paycheck. apparently that’s how they do it in the old country. my grandparents were old, if they gave me five bucks and a butterscotch candy, that was a lot.