Actual calf testicles pizza.

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shittyfoodporn-ModTeam@reddit

Due to the lack of consent from outside users, please only post your own content or food you've bought from a restaurant, thank you.

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fartew@reddit

If they were sliced the pizza would be ten times more appetizing AND ten times easier to eat. Imagine trying to bite a slice only for one of the testes to fly through the room at mach fuck

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RetPala@reddit

"No, you keep 'em whole. You're gonna wanna know you have a testicle in your mouth"

-every Pizza place

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Yo5935@reddit

Avec une tite giclée quand tu croque dedans.

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fksly@reddit

I don't know how this pizza place does it, but properly prepared they should be boiled in milk first before frying.

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DemonicBoi13@reddit

They're soft and easy to cook so it won't fly off like a piece of hard candy and it won't be raw. But yes, sliced would definitely look more appetizing. It's also a rather high balls to pizza ratio

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fartew@reddit

Ooh ok, I didn't know, I never tried them and for some reason I expected them to be harder, kinda like tomatoes. Still yeah, not a bad idea imho, but could have been executed better

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Gronodonthegreat@reddit

Whaaaaat, you’ve never had the mind to put animal testicles in your mouth eating pizza before?

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waiting4signora@reddit

Someone pls post that last sentence on brandnewsentence it just calls for it

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jeager_YT@reddit

it's for you to know that you've got a testicle in your mouth

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donkeyrocket@reddit

I hate biting into my testicle pizza slice and the whole testicle slides off.

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RaconBang@reddit

I paused to prevent a vom after "mach fuck" and then read the last part

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Psychological-Bee702@reddit

“Testes At Mach Fuck” sounds like an Agoraphobic Nosebleed song title.

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waytooucey@reddit

This is probably one of the most interesting things ever created 😭

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kein_text@reddit

Dude, I didn't even have breakfast yet and I'm pretty sure I just lost my appetite for the day.

Who does something like that?

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Flankdiesel@reddit

I've tried them slices and fried it really wasn't bad

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Various-Salt-7738@reddit

I've heard they're pretty good

I've also heard they squish a lot of juices into your mouth and I'm not sure how much I want ball juice in my mouth

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mattomic@reddit

That's what she said. 😅

I'll let myself out. 🙃

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stiffwan@reddit

I like doing this with egg yolks, I keep the yolk intact as I strip the white from around it, put it in my mouth and pop. I don’t think I want a testicle popping in my mouth

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Not really, someone brought them to this potluck thing and didn't tell anyone what they actually were she called them like a Chicken fried steak.... Most people had some and kinda liked them before her reveal. Some people got kinda mad but it was still a bit funny

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donkeyrocket@reddit

That's pretty fucked to not tell people what you brought and straight up lie.

It'd be one thing if she said it's just "mystery meat" and people could choose to partake but to call it something it's not is wild. And that applies to this even it they were testicles but a different meat or item at all.

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Riaayo@reddit

Some people got kinda mad

As they should. Tricking people into eating something they didn't consent to eat is chickenshit behavior.

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coop_stain@reddit

Yup. Calf fries or Rocky Mountain oysters are actually pretty damn good.

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AreYouAllFrogs@reddit

There are parts of Rocky Mountain oysters that are more tender like liver, but the chewy parts I just can’t do.

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Flowingsun1@reddit

To each their own 🤢

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Pretend_Handle_7639@reddit

They overcook quickly.

I'm more concerned if they didn't remove the membrane

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misterjustice90@reddit

This guy cooks… testes. Cooks testicles

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Pretend_Handle_7639@reddit

The power of watching Chopped lmao

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JigglesTheBiggles@reddit

Leave the membrane alone

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HirokoKueh@reddit

it looks like it's cooked (sauce : I've had chicken testicles before, and they look like this

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sup3r_hero@reddit

Those chickens must have had some impressively huge balls lol

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Music_Phasic@reddit

…You know how cooked testicles look?

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thomstevens420@reddit

This is the most Brazilian shit I’ve ever seen in my life

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anatdias@reddit

Revolting. Thank god for the +18 privacy thingy

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Satorius96@reddit

...where is this served?

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LAneArchie@reddit

I prefer pinapple but people are different i guess

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dEaD-sOiLl@reddit

sum big fat balls right there man. why not cut them up at all? i imagine theres not too many ppl happy to just bite into a fat fuckin nut on the pizza

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EnragedShreader@reddit

And people complain about pineapple…

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Justinc4s3-@reddit

I always get saddened at the thought of the poor creatures that gave their life to be turned into utter shite.

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QueezyF@reddit

You can castrate an animal without killing them

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Justinc4s3-@reddit

Sure sure. Then live their life as steers. Cattle regardless. Giving their life regardless. Thank you though.

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kingoflint282@reddit

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Have had bull testicles before and they were pretty good.

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MassiveBoner911_3@reddit

Oh for fucks sake

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BlackerDoom@reddit

That’s nuts Honestly it’s a load of bull Gotta have lot of balls to eat that

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troglodyte_therapist@reddit

That’s what I’m talking about. Miss me with that phony, imitation calf testicles pizza.

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tomokari21@reddit

For some reason I haven't seen any posts from this sub in a while, and this is the first one I see

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SnooJokes5@reddit

If anything, they're generous! Damn, how much did you pay for this?

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nowwerecooking@reddit

Time to close the app I see.

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OfficialIntelligence@reddit

Yeah but there's people who put pineapple on their pizza, just gross.

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_Miss_Eclipse@reddit

Still better than pineapple

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Ok_Band3086@reddit

why would you put a whole one on each slice of pizza and not just slice the balls like pepperoni.

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Yabbatown@reddit

Pretty solid contender for shittiest meal of the year and we're only in April. Well done, humans

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Individual_Review_51@reddit

This looks pretty old tbh

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Yabbatown@reddit

Yeah i haven't been here long enough to recognize the reposts but that seems to be the consensus

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Individual_Review_51@reddit

Neither have I but the picture looks like from the 2010s

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Yabbatown@reddit

Such shitty times when even people posting their shitty cooking isn't immune from bots and fuckwits trying to get a little internet clout

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ChaoticxSerenity@reddit

humans

Are you sure about that?

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GeorgeFromManagement@reddit

Got it. Making some cock n' tonsil stone ice cream (extra big chunks edition).

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WoopzEh@reddit

Repost.

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kingtacticool@reddit

We seem to be speed running all the shitty things these days....

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redjade42@reddit

this is what happens when you are ok with people putting pineapple on pizza

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SirStocksAlott@reddit

WHY IS IT STILL SO VASCULAR?

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Euphoric_Judge_8761@reddit

Type of shit you would see in resident evil 7

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AsunderXXV@reddit

Don't forget the worms crawling on it!

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Nadia_LaMariposa@reddit

This same picture posted here for the milllionth time...

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sean_incali@reddit

c'mon mang....

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runjcrun1@reddit

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Terrible_Reporter_98@reddit

Wonder what the consistency is on the testicles?

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berkakar@reddit

it's like marshmellow

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berkakar@reddit

billur is real gourmet shit.

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Outside_Natural5914@reddit

Okay….I’m not even fucking around……this is the worst thing I’ve ever seen on this subreddit. I legit thought this was fucking dead puppies on your goddamn pizza

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UnResponsiblish79-@reddit

Straight to fucking jail.

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TheNoctuS_93@reddit

Brazil or US midwest?

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jeager_YT@reddit

calf?!

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KerKic2Ohm@reddit

Thats a Larval Tear 😧

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Spooky_scary_sheri95@reddit

This is the type of pizza the Liver king would eat

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Illustrious-You-1735@reddit

now chew it up well before you swallow it

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Lexail@reddit

That looks like huge maggots. Gross. Well done.

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FungadooFred@reddit

This is nuts!

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tea_consumer_0@reddit

Cursed

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atomik71@reddit

How much protein?

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Fantastic_Trainer365@reddit

r/PizzaCrimes

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currentlyRedacted@reddit

Getting ready for the Testy Festy huh?

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Benedeto123@reddit

The typa shit that the ring would call art

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the_monkeynator@reddit

How does cooked testicles taste tho? Are they like awful or actually kinda yum?

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yourmomsnutsarehuge@reddit

Who puts animal balls in their mouth? Eww

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DeepBig7633@reddit

I think I want to rip my eyes out.

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Werrrnstrom@reddit

/r/pizzacrimes

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Grizzlybear486@reddit

Really hoping those weren't just baked on the pizza as the larger ones might be raw. Could be fixed by proper seasoning, grilling and slicing for even cooking.

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poponachtschnecke@reddit

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Remarkable-Pass-2066@reddit

The balls someone had to make this.

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nobodyhere_357@reddit

About 15 from the look of it

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asicarii@reddit

Totally nuts

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metaglot@reddit

No they didnt have to make this.

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Colforbin_43@reddit

More like the balls someone didn’t have to make this

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noodle-face@reddit

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Zararara@reddit

I'm a Celebrity meal

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banjo-kablooey@reddit

i just got hungy

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ResponsibilityFew938@reddit

That pizza name is a mouthful.

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MissBioRobot@reddit

Nope.

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Few-Echo-6953@reddit

Did they cook it?...

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BackgroundBit8@reddit

Looks like an art project to me personally . Google shows this image floating around since 2022 but no real answer

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drgreenair@reddit

Jesus go fuck yourself that made my gag

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catladywithallergies@reddit

What in the fresh unseasoned hell is this?!

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FeverInHeels@reddit

ugh no

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Best-Introduction-55@reddit

I almost dropped my phone i was so scared 😮😮😮😮😮😮😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️🥱

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ahmtiarrrd@reddit

I'd eat it if they had the common sense and decency to cut it into thin slices first.

/s

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I_Am_Yeti_1@reddit

Baby Rocky Mountain oysters

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AnimeNoodle@reddit

Satans pizza

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HydraulicEarl2@reddit

They call it "Terry Hesticles"

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ContactNo9992@reddit

¿?????¿???¿???¿??¿?¿

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No_Statement440@reddit

This makes bone marrow stuffed crust and tripe pizza seem normal.

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Smooovies@reddit

What in the actual fuck

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VoluptuousBLT@reddit

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ExcellentWolf@reddit

This could have benefited from more flame, as in flamethrower.

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enter5H1KAR1@reddit

Hanged by the neck until dead. No second chance.

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Significant-Gap-5355@reddit

🤮

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MaterialCattle@reddit

Even if I liked testicles, which I dont know, I think I wouldnt like them on a pizza.

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yapper5103@reddit

wtf.

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sindaquil77@reddit

Officer with r/pizzacrimes, this is the culprit!

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Round-Good1179@reddit

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baraklevy@reddit

What are the small balls in the middle? Cow balls?

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UCldNvr@reddit

Hell to the no.

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EustaceChapuys@reddit

This would pmo even if it were chicken breast. Like at least dice em up.

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MonkeyBred@reddit

I could try this if it was decalf.

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etik84@reddit

Ok. No.

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useroftheinternet95@reddit

This feels illegal

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Able_Newspaper8899@reddit

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soad2237@reddit

What are we doing here

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dearvalentina@reddit

Incredible argument for veganism/vegetarianism, actually awful.

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whimsicalsamurai@reddit

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Either_Dream_9748@reddit

God DAYUM😵‍💫

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HIBudzz@reddit

Moo zarella

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Horacolo@reddit

I’m gonna puke

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Illustrious-Bake3878@reddit

Holy balls.

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Wixsteria@reddit

I think this is the worst thing I've seen all year. Good job OP

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_ecksdee@reddit

what a terrible day to have eyes

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Keganator@reddit

I read the title, thought "what do they mean?" and then clicked anyway.

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whiterice_343@reddit

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whiterice_343@reddit

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Hold_My_Fupa@reddit

Someone really bit into a nice cheese pizza and said “you know what this is missing?…some BALLS” lmao

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ArDee0815@reddit

r/pizzacrimes

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Stranger1982@reddit

It's been posted 1250 times a year and thus gets remvoed as a common repost, we want original content.

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Shot-Associate4472@reddit

They could have easily made this much better. Slice the testes into round pepperonis. I think the testes actually taste pretty good alone, sauteed with some garlic and onions.

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