How do you detach without eliminating?
Posted by stykface@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 43 comments
Curious to hear how fellow Xennials "detach" from things like Social Media and digital work life without fully eliminating it? I have my own approach, it works good for me. Here's mine, would love to hear others!
- Main phone is Android, bought a second phone that's iPhone
- Zero work apps installed.
- Different OS "feels different" while using.
- I have all my contacts in it but only close family/friends have the number.
- I use it and ditch the other phone while on vacations or nights/weekends that I need a break.
- Social Media logged out on all devices but one old phone that lives at home and is Wifi only
- Can't access it other than my extra "MP3 player" phone.
- I don't know my PW's as they're saved only on that phone.
- Acts as a good deterrent for me.
- Reddit has been customized.
- Turned off recommendations, I only see what I've joined, nothing else.
- I regularly reset my algorithms, other than music apps.
Whatchab@reddit
I use my phone (iOS) as a 'utility tool' only. There is nothing on it that could be considered entertainment other than Spotify (and that bloated-ass app is really pissing me off lately) and Libby. This means I have a very low number of apps and only 9 are shown on my home screen.
- I keep my phone in grayscale 100% of the time
- And I have all notifications in all ways, silenced at all times. So no badges, popups, notification center, etc. If I'm awaiting a specific call, I'll put on vibrate. Everything else, if needed, I'll respond back at my convenience.
- I also use my cellular Apple Watch as my primary device about 50% of the time, which has even less stuff so it's really just text, map, reminders, and alarm.
Zero social media. I only ever had FB and IG (well, MySpace, RIP) and I deleted FB in 2013. I deactivated IG in 2019 and prior to that hadn't posted since 2016. I cannot recommend this enough. IMO short form video is absolutely terrible and I am glad I chose not to go down that hole.
For work, I am available on Slack and email when I'm working, and accessed 90% of the time on my work laptop. When I am not working, I am not available. A few times a year I download Slack when I'm expected to be available during emergencies. When that activation is over, I delete Slack from my phone.
All things 'entertainment,' including reddit, are accessed only on my iPad and only on browser. On Reddit I only look at/am shown the communities I subscribe to.
The only streaming I have is Spotify.
I do sort of live under a rock? I'm happy about it, my brain still works as intended. I do notice in some situations where people are discussing some latest trend or show that I am always the one who isn't in the loop.
Anyway, glad to see more people pushing back on smart phones and the constant onslaught of pressure to BE AVAILABLE and follow trends.
Logical-Cherry9395@reddit
MY PEOPLE!
Whatchab@reddit
Yaaaassssss!
bikeonychus@reddit
I have tried setting app timers, and it worked for a few weeks; but then as soon as I'm stressed, I reset the app timers, or find ways around them (like opening social media in a web browser) and spoil my progress. The world in general is very stressful right now, and there's a lot of other things going on in my life, and I guess the doom scrolling is some kind of outlet.
To be honest, I feel like I am constantly about 5 minutes away from throwing my phone away completely, but chicken out because responsibilities.
I am looking for recommendations on what I can do, because I hate being like this.
Logical-Cherry9395@reddit
Have you looked at r/dumbphones ? There are a lot of people on it, me included, who rather than get rid of it completely, just nuked a lot of its capabilities. I'm so much happier since I've done this. Unfortunately for my spouse, I also found myself VERY BORED and looked around the house and went, we need new stuff...and it got expensive.
I'm on Zepbound, as well, so suddenly without food or handheld boredom scrolling, I've got a ton of time I didn't realize I had.
bikeonychus@reddit
Yeah, I did this years ago and loved it. Then I had to have a smart phone for work.
I think when this phone finally breaks, I will do that.
It's not like I even have nothing to do. Yeah, there's housework, but I'm also an avid vegetable gardener, and I practically live on my bike. I think it's the winters that do it - cold, dark, depressing, and social media seems so inviting at that time.
Logical-Cherry9395@reddit
I moved ALL my electronics across the room to my dresser and got a radio alarm clock. That helped with evening pick up and boredom scrolling. Instead, I read a book or watch something. I turned the subtitles off, forcing me to pay attention again...the irony there is I had turned them ON to force me to pay attention, lol. Turns out that only works when you're watching foreign languages.
New_Stats@reddit
Turn your phone off and go do something else. Go out for a walk without your phone and without music or a podcast. You need to relearn how to just be. You did it all the time decades ago, you can do it again. Or if you're feeling lazy just go sit outside on your steps and just sit there, zoning out like how you used to. Or read a book or watch TV or garden or you get the idea
You're addicted to the constant dopamine drip. Break that bad habit with healthy (or healthier) habits
Logical-Cherry9395@reddit
Would you tell an alcoholic just to put down the drink and walk away? It's not that simple.
New_Stats@reddit
It really is that simple.
Just turn the fucking phone off and go do something else
Source - heroin addict who's been clean for over a decade. Don't try to compare being addicted to drugs or alcohol with being addicted to your phone. It's not the same and the only people who would dare do that are people who have no idea what drug and alcohol addiction actually is
Logical-Cherry9395@reddit
And that's the misconception. You agree people are addicted to the dopamine rush their phone creates, but deny it's an addiction. Dopamine addiction...or dopamine chasing...is real. I majored in Anthropology, bioarchaeology, which means I studied the hell out of both human behavior and evolution.
Don't make the assumption someone who knows phones are addictive has no idea with other addictions are like. It is comparative. Addiction is addiction, be it chemical, emotional, or psychological. As a recovering addict, you should know this. Why do you think addicts need to stay away from all vices? I liked vodka a little too much. Enough that I nearly drank myself to death one night. I've been good. Followed the rules about staying away from other vices. I don't gamble. I don't do opioids (I liked those a little too much, too, especially when you chase it with a White Russian). But you know...I got my love for food back. AND BOY DID I!! Everything tasted so good and made me so happy! NOM NOM NOM NOM.
But, that wasn't the only place I transferred to. I was on my phone ALL THE TIME. Food and phone. Phone and food. Chips in one hand, phone in the other. Munch Munch Munch. Ah, yes, and let's not forget energy drinks! Coffee! Espresso with an extra shot! Ooooh, Black Rifle! Caffeine! YAY! These are all safe, right? Not at all addictive? So, I kept caffeine, sought pharmacological help for the food, and set guard rails on my phone so I can't keep using it to chase that dopamine.
Glad you're able to put your phone down and walk away from it. Not everyone is.
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/behavior-disorders/addiction-to-electronic-devices
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12401922/
https://www.addictioncenter.com/behavioral-addictions/phone-addiction/
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
https://www.foodaddicts.org/
https://bermancenteratl.com/transfer-addiction/
https://www.addictioncenter.com/community/addiction-replacement/
bikeonychus@reddit
Yeah, that sounds like the obvious thing to do; but I cannot just turn off my phone, because I have a special needs kid in school, and for those 5 days a week (which is when I have the problem), I have to have my phone on, as the school likes to call me up for every tiny little thing my kid does that is related to kid's disability. We don't have the option of a house phone, or I would have done that already.
I think I'm just going to have to cold turkey it and delete all my apps, and just use the phone as a phone. I don't think there is another way.
FluffySpell@reddit
I bought one of those Brick things. You can select what apps you want it to block and it's a physical little square that has an NFC chip in it or whatever (the same thing the phone uses for tap to pay). You tap your phone on it and it blocks everything you've told it to, and to un-brick it you have to physically get up and tap the phone again. I use this to help keep my ADHD ass focused at work, my office is on one side of the house and I have my brick on the fridge at the complete opposite side of the house.
bikeonychus@reddit
Holy shit, that might actually work for me!
My house is a tall and thin, but on 3 floors, and I have shitty legs, so stairs are enough to make me go 'bollocks to it, I don't need it'. If I put one of those brick things on the top floor, I think that would actually do it.
Thank you! I didn't even know about them!
apt_get@reddit
I deleted all the social media apps off my phone. I still have the accounts, but having to access them on the computer makes it inconvenient enough that my usage is way down. Occasionally on a Friday evening I'll install something like Instagram and scroll for a bit before deleting it again. Gotta keep up on the memes, but knowing that it's not there has basically eliminated picking up my phone to just mindlessly scroll. The first couple weeks it really shocked me how much of a reflex that was anytime a single moment of quiet presented itself. Now I just sit and enjoy it.
eyelers@reddit
Purposely leaving my phone in another room has been weirdly effective for me. If it's not near me, I don't seem to care.
Logical-Cherry9395@reddit
After the 2016 election, I dumped FB on a whim and never looked back. I've never had any other social media other than MySpace. (I don't count reddit because I can only access it t work)
I know this is about people who don't eliminate, but...that just really doesn't work well. It takes an incredible amount of discipline and it's so easy to backslide. I'd tried for years to cut back and I would do well for months, and then I'd start creeping. In the end, I cut my phone's access to Safari and the App Store, and blocked website except my two banks and my insurance company..and Disneyland, which requires a connection to access your tickets/passes. I can still use it on my Mac or PC, but it requires a dedicated, concerted effort to say: Do I really want to get up and log in and sit at my desk? No, no I don't.
Within a week, I also did the same thing to my iPad and then moved all my electronics to my dresser. Same thing, I have to actively decide I want to get out of bed and get my phone or tablet. And no, no I don't.
My take on it ended up being would you tell an alcoholic it's okay as long as they limit their drinking to the hours of (insert time) or one beverage? Social Media and tech are addictions, too.
edasto42@reddit
I use most social media as a promotional tool for struts tic endeavors. Reddit is the only one that gets a little more out of me for now.
I changed my view on it a couple years ago. Partially it was due to the last election cycle and all the bs that arose from social media regarding that. But the breaking point was seeing this young woman who bought some delicious elotes, but had to get a perfect picture of it before she ate it for the gram. She sat there trying to figure out the right angle for the photo, then proceeded to get frustrated over and over because people kept walking by and ‘interfering’ with her picture. Instead of just enjoying the food, she chose to take a photo of an everyday food item to show others that she’s eating elotes and their not (I guess), and in turn frustrating herself because of not getting the perfect picture. I saw that and I just knew that’s not something I need to partake in.
Konnorwolf@reddit
"""Turned off recommendations, I only see what I've joined, nothing else."""
Now, that will be useful! Too many distractions with Reddit.
stykface@reddit (OP)
Yeah I realized it was just algorithm crap that kept popping up. Most of the things were "relative" but then they sneak in those ones that capture your imagination and down the rabbit hole you go. Really helped with distractions.
Konnorwolf@reddit
Much better now. Just keep an eye on ones I follow or look up directly for answers.
mjh8212@reddit
I put down the phone and leave the tv off and read for a few hours a day. I’ve found a phone game I enjoy as well. I’m not on social media much just a few hours at night maybe during the day.
StillhasaWiiU@reddit
..but I did "fully eliminate" its glorious. i text the people i care about directly.
Spartan04@reddit
I use the browser for social media, though I don’t use that much of it. I use Reddit if it counts as social media. I also still use Facebook but pretty much only to participate in a few groups related to hobbies that are on Facebook. I don’t post things outside those groups anymore. By using the browser instead of apps it means that I have more control since I can use content blockers and I have to make the decision to actively check it vs an app with a notification.
As for work I work from home but use a completely separate computer, phone, etc that were provided by my employer. I don’t have any work apps installed on my personal phone. I’ll sometimes access my work Outlook through the web portal in the browser but only for things like checking my work calendar when I’m scheduling an appointment at the doctor’s office or something like that. Otherwise I don’t check work stuff outside of work hours. Honestly even if I had work apps on my phone I wouldn’t be tempted to work outside of work time, but installing them would require enabling MDM and giving our IT the ability to remotely wipe my phone, so no thanks.
FluffySpell@reddit
I have every single notification sound off on my phone except for incoming text messages and our cameras. I turned off push notifications for the social media apps I have. At 8pm it goes into sleep mode and I can only use music or meditation apps.
When I am on social media, I refuse to interact with rage bait or other content I hate. When I see a post I don't like, I use the button to say "not interested" and hopefully that actually does something. As far as for the work part of it, I solve that by not having a single thing related to work (except for the stupid authenticator thing they make us use to log in remotely) on my phone at all. I log off at the end of my day and I stop caring about work until I log in the next day.
bgva@reddit
I think the only thing I really do is deactivate Facebook at least once a month. Other than that I just put down the phone.
Wak3upHicks@reddit
I just deleted everyhting but Reddit, and I'm constantly asking why I'm still here
utti@reddit
New_Stats@reddit
I turn my phone off and read a book or watch TV/a movie. I refuse to be constantly available for anyone or any notification to interrupt my peace. My alone time is mine and mine alone
AYearInOaxaca@reddit
As other people have suggested, I delete apps. But on the iPhone you can also do a thing where if you long-press on an icon you can tell the OS to stop suggesting it surface the app for you. That helps to break the conditioning where without even thinking about it your fingers are navigating to the app to reopen it.
Some platforms I’ve also just abandoned. I deleted my Facebook account years ago and have missed it 0%. Instagram is increasingly dreadful, so that was also easy to give up, although I do need to check it to see what businesses and restaurants have going on where we live. My Twitter account is the same, there’s absolutely no reason to ever log on, I get enough “everything is terrible” just being alive. And I never made a TikTok, it’s so absurdly addictive it felt better just to forgo it completely.
elektrik_noise@reddit
I got rid of IG and FB many years ago. I don't have the Reddit app on my phone and limit myself to just using it on my laptop. I never got on Tiktok, Discord, or Substack. I am on Reddit a bit too much since I'm WFH so taking breaks and reading posts don't have nearly as many barriers of use but I'm working on it.
absentlyric@reddit
I deleted my Facebook, made sure to wait out the time it took for it to be permanently deleted.
Then I made another facebook purely for my neighborhood group page and marketplace, no friends or family.
I don't ever check it, but when I need a local service, like landscaping, roofing, etc, having my neighborhood page has saved me a TON of money, its nice to have if I need some brush or junk from my yard removed, I get a lot of bids, same if I need to buy or sell something, Marketplace is worth it for me, better than Craigslist. Its a necessary evil.
Sufficient_Focus4174@reddit
I just do Reddit for my hobbies and Nextdoor. I eliminated all of the rest years ago and it was a great decision. The less unnecessary noise and people you let into your life, the better life is. I don’t need to know what is going on every second of every day or peoples thoughts on it.
throwawayhbgtop81@reddit
I use this:
https://getbrick.com/
Been able to cut back my usage of all social media...except reddit.
JamesMattDillon@reddit
I access Facebook, Twitter and reddit though the browser. Even on my Kindle Fire, I just use the browser to access them. I only have the necessary apps - banking, Google voice, email in the phone itself
Far-Bumblebee-7216@reddit
I don't do the best job but it's better- I left Twitter shortly after Evil Elmo bought it and Meta apps after the last election so my current social media is BlueSky (where my Twitter people moved) and here (and a few Discord severs that I forget to check) My current job only allows employee phones to have the work apps so when I log off I have a full disconnect.
usernames_suck_ok@reddit
Still have an actual TV with cable. I watch TV like it's the 80s and 90s, and I mean that in pretty much every way.
I also just flatout don't use social media (I never think of Reddit and LinkedIn as social media).
Money_Magnet24@reddit
I’m planning on waking up as a younger version of myself circa 1995 with my current memories intact, so no social media but at least I got books and chat rooms online. I think I’ll be ok. Oh, and I won’t break up with my gf and join the Army, so ya, I got plans. No social media seems plausible.
kombatminipig@reddit
Honestly, detach from most of it was my trick. Got rid of Facebook and Messenger. I use reddit and bsky, but mostly for news and casual reading.
I’m on Signal and Discord if anyone needs to reach me. If there’s an event where I’m wanted they’re free to reach out.
kmmccorm@reddit
I don’t work when I don’t need to. Easier than having 3 phones.
Maleficent-Orchid-04@reddit
I just temporarily uninstall the app. Out of sight, out of mind
scoff-law@reddit
My rule is no social media after 8pm, no exceptions. Now I'm working on being mindful about not using my phone in the middle of another activity like watching a movie or waiting in line.