Any other Ladies feel like you don’t recognize yourself anymore?
Posted by GenXerfafo@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 226 comments
56yr old, went through menopause at 50– I look at myself in pictures from the past 6 years or so, and I don’t recognize myself. I feel like clothing styles I used to wear don’t work anymore. My smile has changed, double chin, and I dread being in pictures. I admit I have gained 35 lbs since menopause. I just feel awkward and am trying to love the new version of me. I know I can’t turn back time, and am working on this middle age self esteem issue. Anyone else struggling with this?
Sandman4130@reddit
I’m 55 and my wife is 52. We have been married 30 years. I have never been more attracted to her and cannot get enough of her. She is a certified badass and for some reason she still likes me and I feel like I won the lottery every time I get to even look at her in her her glorious gorgeous badassness.
Whatever it is you Gen X ladies see when you look in the mirror I just hope you also consider what the people who love you the most see too.
BMXTammi@reddit
You are a unicorn. You have a very lucky wife.
Sandman4130@reddit
It would be cool if I could claim that I was especially awesome, but how I feel about my wife is in line with the way most of my good friends think and speak about their wives.
I know it’s not all husbands, but I think it would shock many women how many of the husbands out there adore their wives, think their wives are gorgeous, cannot get enough of their wives’ bodies, literally leer at and and sneak peaks and touches and more because they cannot help it.
All I’m saying is when you ladies look at yourselves, you need to embrace the fact that the people who love you most think you are beautiful and they think that for good reason.
Timely-Youth-9074@reddit
That’s me. At 49, I was still young, got carded etc. At 53, I looked like Mrs Santa Claus.
I’m 56 now and recovered a little-some of the hyper aging came from covid and long covid.
Trying to exercise, colored my greys violet, still holding up.
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
Good on you Timely Youth. I also started coloring my hair different colors and I enjoy that. Gawd, very sorry to hear about the long covid. I have read some about it and it sounds absolutely terrible .
Timely-Youth-9074@reddit
It aged me 20 years :(
FlowerofMountains@reddit
The menopausal weight gain is a pain in the ass!!! There were a lot of life transitions in the last 6 years with little "me" time to care for myself. But being a stubborn kind of girl who refuses to buy an entirely new wardrobe from the weight gain, I broke down and started intermittent fasting and 7 minute daily workouts. I started drinking water regularly & taking my nightly magnesium, and getting a full night's rest, and it's helped A LOT. I'll never be the teeny weeny thing I was in my youth, but as least I've been able to reign the weight gain in and I can recognize myself as compared to maybe 3 years ago.
blackcain@reddit
Men, please make a note to show love and gratitude to your partner as they go through all this.
AustinFlynt@reddit
My husband always talks about how much weight he’s lost, and he flexes all the time. Meanwhile, I can’t lose weight despite doing Orangetheory and not eating poorly. Started HRT last fall and wondering if it’s made me gain weight, but I just don’t know anymore. 😭
blackcain@reddit
I am not the best person to talk about women's health issues but it's worth consulting woman's health specialist to understand your genetics. The right kind of supplements, diet, and life changes might help you activate your metabolism and help you lose weight. I don't believe it is just a matter of diet of exercise. Keep trying variations.
Stay way from ozempic though - I heard that stuff is bad.
AustinFlynt@reddit
Yes, it’s difficult because you can’t look at what helped another woman, do that, and get the same results. It’s all a long process of trial and error.
There are other peptides with fewer side effects, but I’m not ready for that yet. 🥺
blackcain@reddit
Yes indeed. Good luck - I hope you get where you want to be.
GenXerfafo@reddit (OP)
I appreciate the conversation. I have started exercising again— walking— and that helps for sure. The combo of menopause and Covid did a number on me physically and emotionally, as it did for everyone. I am trying really hard to take the perspective of wanting and needing to be healthy for myself and also for my kids who are 23 and 18. I want to be able to be a fun Grandma who can sit on the floor and play. Time to move forward with life for sure— attitude and action.
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
Yeah, why the f*ck did we have go through meno along with covid? Add in that I was post-divorce, and I really hit bottom in 2022. Got diagnosed with major depressive, panic disorder and PTSD. It’s taken a lot of work with my brain to create change and a lot of help along the way but it was a blessing in disguise and probably also caused by years of perfectionism and overworking. But man it sucked big time for a bunch of years there.
FloppyFerrett1@reddit
Well stated✌🏻
sysaphiswaits@reddit
Yes. But not because of menopause. Over the last 6 years I’ve come to realize that my husband is a vulnerable narcissistic. My marriage has been slowly grinding me to dust for years. It was slow, so I didn’t notice.
Menopause is going to double down on that for sure.
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
Oh God, me too. I didnt know this for a very long time. Was married to him for 12 years, it came crashing down on me about 10 years ago. It is so hard to spot and I am still kind of in disbelief that he is this.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Do you mind sharing any details about that? I've long suspected my husband has something like this too, except my daughter called it covert narcissism.
sysaphiswaits@reddit
Since it took years to notice there’s too much to post. But basically every time we have some kind of issue come up in our relationship, when I try to talk I to him about it, he gets upset, or gets sulky about his “trauma” growing up. Sometimes he’ll change something he’s doing. But he never acknowledges why I was upset and never apologizes.
Over the past two years some really horrible things have happened to him that 100% weren’t his fault. Be he got so obvious about how he actually feels about me, I can’t pretend it’s ok anymore.
He literally said “I don’t gaslight you” (I said I didn’t think he did it intentionally.) Not a week later when I told him why I thought something he said was rude, he said “It sounds like you’re having conversations in your head and making things up.” (Which I would describe a thinking.)
That was just the last of the last straws.
Gratefulgirl13@reddit
Oh friend, that’s a horrible place to be. Mine also was having an affair with two different women at the same time (traveling for work my ass). I’ve been out for five years and man did it take a toll, BUT I’m feeling better and frankly look better than I have in years. Sure, I have some loose skin and some well earned wrinkles but theres a new kind of strength and beauty. It might actually be acceptance-whatever it is, I like it. I also LOVE living alone. Best wishes to you, we don’t plan on starting over but sometimes it’s a gift.
QueenLuLuBelle@reddit
Ugh, I was there a couple of years ago. Hang in there.
CampVictorian@reddit
I won’t lie, I have felt insecure about my changing body/face/capabilities, and still do; it’s a scary thing to acknowledge our own mortality, literally staring us down in the mirror. My defense is, honest to god, learning to embrace that same mortality, and living for me- not at the expense of others, but in a way that helps myself and what matters to me. I may be feeling less visible nowadays, but that frees me to say, “Fuck it, let’s be silly, colorful, outspoken, quiet, childlike, Whatever The Fuck I want to be, and enjoy the second half of my life, god willing”. It can be hard to hold this perspective, but I keep on fighting.
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
Yes 100%. Let’s be whoever we wanna be and fuck it whoever says anything about it. We’ve earned this!
FrustratedPassenger@reddit
I look different but I know who I am inside. I didn’t know that when I looked good on the outside.
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
One hundred percent.
Pattycakes1966@reddit
We need to start a genx women’s sub. And a women’s village
dryicequeen@reddit
r/genxwomen
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
Awesome!! Thank you for this!
Pattycakes1966@reddit
😱 how did I not know?
jesuschristjulia@reddit
It’s so weird that I’ve seen a lot of posts like this lately. So many that here’s my response to the last one:
I feel so bad for yall. I’m 51 and definitely an old lady but I like the way I look bc I look like the older women I knew when I was young and hot and knew nothing about life.
When I was a young woman, there were older women in my life that I deeply admired. They were smart, strong and resilient but weren’t afraid to show vulnerability. They didn’t take shit off of people but were disarmingly tender to young women like me. They’d slip me a $50 bill when the knew I was struggling. One paid the deposit on an apartment when I needed to leave my boyfriend and wasn’t yet wise enough to save for a rainy day. They were tough and told me when I was wrong but they were always on my side. They were proud of me and they spoke well of me when I wasn’t around. They’ve all passed now but when I look in the mirror, I see them. And I get to follow in their footsteps and be who they were for me, for the young women (and some men) around me.
I think I look great. I’m not hot like I used to be but I like how I look naked and am excited about my grey hairs. I put a little sunscreen and foundation on in the morning and head off.
Listen ladies, we are the elders. The women younger folks are looking to for role models - every lesson you learned earned a line on your beautiful face. So please, be proud of the things you’ve lived through and the good judgement that comes with learning, even when it’s the hard way. You definitely earned that right. And if you can, change the way young women around will feel about themselves when they get older by bestowing your hard earned wisdom and extra cash upon them. I learned today that those women ensured when I got to their age that I would be able to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the woman looking back, jowls and all.
WhitneyFebreeze@reddit
Totally agree. For some reason I am doing ok with the meno weight gain. Before, I weighed around 115 and was definitely underweight for 5’4. Now I weight about 160 which is more than I weighed with either of my pregnancies! But you know what, for some reason I was blessed with very few body image issues and also secretly wanted to be more curvy like many Black women I admire. Idk why, maybe because I was more like a board and didn’t have much feminine shape. Yes, it’s hard to deal with the rolls over the top of my jeans sometimes, and I do want to lose a few pounds and feel more in shape. But otherwise, I try to look at it as a new adventure and I get to see what living life like this is like. At some point I heard this line asked of a guy: “What can a skinny woman do for you?” Answer: “Absolutely nothing!” Not that we should let what guys want determine how we are, but I met my boyfriend before I gained my weight, and since gaining it he says it’s cool with it. I do have to admit I feel more sexy this way, for some reason.
Anyway, I also agree that we are now the adults. It may have taken us a lot of years to grow up, but now we get to put our mark on the world. Forget whatever rules of society we were taught that don’t help anymore. Let’s be good with ourselves, let’s show everyone that we live outside the box, we are authentic and we are so dope because of that. It will be a huge gift to the next generation.
hugatree2023@reddit
Great comment! You are right!!
peruvianheidi@reddit
I love this. It is our turn to give back. You are a wise one! Thank you.
truebluejackson@reddit
Jesus Christ, Julia 🤣 (oh and sorry if your user name doesn't check out that way, oops)
I am 54. Lost a lot of weight then gained it all back around 49/50. Just now trying to be happy to be me and recognize that if I'm not grateful for today, I won't get what I want tomorrow. I agree with you JCJulia, I am an elder. I have a lot of wisdom and appreciate it when my son and nephews thank me for my insights. I will keep giving, and I will keep taking photos with them, and just be me.
selekta_stjarna@reddit
I'm 51, almost 52. I am struggling with weight gain so I just started working out at the gym. I feel like I could accept myself better if I could get the weight off. Also, exercise gives you dopamine.
titianwasp@reddit
Yes, but in such a good way! Mostly because I am paying attention to myself for the first time in 20ish years without feeling guilty.
I now wash my face nightly and focus on back-sleeping so my skin has gotten better and the wrinkle in my cheek has gone away. My veterinarian told me over and over I look 30 the other day (bless her).
I am able to take the time to cook exactly what I want to eat, and hit the gym regularly so I now weigh what I did in high school and my energy level is higher than it’s been in decades.
I’ve always had baby fine hair, and done my own color - but I am a grown ass woman, dammit, and so started treating myself to salon color and extensions.
My husband and I are having a blast…just us in the house? Shenanigans!
Maybe it’s just perspective…but this age is like being in college again, except with a better income. I can’t wait to see what’s next!
Pug_867-5309@reddit
I love your positivity! More of this, please!
titianwasp@reddit
Everybody’s gonna have those days… But they say optimists live longer, so I am trying.
If I can cheer anybody else on along the way, even better.
JonasSkywalker@reddit
I feel like I am in my Strega Nona body now! I have really struggled with my weight for the past 7-8 years since peri and menopause. Just a fellow traveler here to tell you that I have had those same feelings.
Hksju@reddit
I recognize my mother when I look in the mirror and not myself. Yes, definitely self esteem issues and no answers for you.
emacextrabrut80@reddit
Same for me last July (45f) out of nowhere. I’m a gym rat and have been since 1999. Don’t smoke and I work in Fine and Rare Wine as a career so alcohol was always around. I got on HRT and got on My Fitness Pal again. Dropped 30 pounds. Feel and look amazing and like I did at 35. But I’ve always taken care of my skin (never tan, always sunscreen) and I’ve prioritized sleep and protein. I can’t relate that said but do think lifestyle has been in my favor. Just sharing to negate the trope that getting older automatically means we don’t recognize ourselves. There is a lot we can control. (Can’t wait to see how many downvotes I get.)
TMCze@reddit
With you 100 percent except I don’t drink at as of 2026. Did a 2 hr yoga and cardio yesterday. I’m 54
emacextrabrut80@reddit
Niiiice. Yes I cut back substantially too, just don’t care to have wine as often. Makes a big difference.
BackgroundDeep1986@reddit
The rate at which we show signs of ageing can also be related to genes. I never wore sunscreen as a kid and would tan so much in summer I looked like a different person. I literally lived in the pool, all day, everyday. I’m 52 and don’t have any lines or wrinkles. My mum is in her 70s and has a very smooth face. I guess I must have scored the genetic jackpot in this respect.
emacextrabrut80@reddit
I’m in peri too. Dropped the 30 pounds that arrived seemingly overnight and feel SO much better these days. But what a nightmare. I empathize! And yes it’s genes too. My aunts look great and they’re both in their 70s. Wow, 52 and no lines! Amazing!
EnjoyingTheRide-0606@reddit
Quit sugar and processed foods for good. Post menopausal women can no longer efficiently process floury and sugary foods. It causes insulin resistance and T2Diabetes. Incorporate fasting into your lifestyle. No eating after whatever time works for you, with sustained fasting for 14-18 hours. Then do a long fast of 30 hours every other week.
It’s really not hard once you’re accustomed to it. As well, increasing fat will help joy feel full for longer. You won’t have hunger once your body is fat-adapted. It’s a natural body function and all mammals but humans do it regularly. Feast and famine is a viable way to live. Give it one month! See how you look and feel!
Need_A_Vacation_2022@reddit
Ugh. How about no I won’t.
EnjoyingTheRide-0606@reddit
It’s not too difficult to overcome the hunger. And you’ll feel so much better!! Plus you’ll age healthier allowing for more freedom and choices.
Loyal2afault18@reddit
Completely agree. I would add resistance training. I’ve been lifting heavy weights for over a year at age 57 and I feel amazing.
EnjoyingTheRide-0606@reddit
I’ve been doing this too! Stretching and resistance have made my body nearly pain free! I have a neck problem from auto accidents. It is so much less painful when I am disciplined.
CittaMindful@reddit
Kicking the sugar and processed food habit - as challenging as it can be - results in me having so much more energy.
EnjoyingTheRide-0606@reddit
And all kinds of other benefits like not having tummy troubles, less aches and pains, quality sleep, less allergy symptoms, clearer thinking, and not falling asleep immediately after eating.
TMCze@reddit
Agree 100 percent - add walking and water and you win!
bearphoenix50@reddit
My face is sagging which really bothers me. Other than that my weight has kept my attention. Initially I gained weight but lost 30 pounds due to calorie deficit and walking 8-10k steps every day. What I noticed is that I can’t eat the way I used to, I have to really watch what I eat, restrict bread, rice, pasta and snacks, and stop eating after 6:00 PM. I still feel like myself and keep myself moving. I hate aging. I like to feel young.
TMCze@reddit
Same - intermittent fasting and walking is fantastic - 54 and can still fit into my HS cheerleading uniform
Merrynpippin136@reddit
I like to feel young too. This sucks
seejanecraft@reddit
I caught myself in the reflection of the side mirror of my husband's car over the weekend and i just looked so......old. It's odd because I don't think I look old when I look in the mirror. It was jarring to say the least.
TMCze@reddit
Diet and exercise - Botox
BungenessKrabb@reddit
I have been struggling with the depression this has caused me over the past few years. On top of that, I've gained 50 lbs that I can not budge at all. Not even GLP-1 helped. I can't even look in a mirror anymore.
I still feel like my 25 year old 105 lb self, but every time I see the person I truly am now it's a gut punch. It's making me a shut in. I'm in therapy but my mirror loves to undermine any progress. I'm trying to accept that this is a natural thing and short of surgery there's nothing I can really do about it but I'm still embarrassed & insecure over it.
FloppyFerrett1@reddit
My "uniform" for years has been leggings/sweats & large tshirts. I hate it & myself for falling apart & letting myself go beyond a point I never though l would go. Menopause & deprru have made even daily basics so overwhelming :-/
Late_Homework_2705@reddit
Totally understand but it’s not too late to take care of yourself and make yourself happy. And talk to your dr & a therapist if you aren’t already. It takes a village to raise us!!
AdnorAdnor@reddit
100% on having a care team. Getting late diagnosed ADHD has made perimenopause easier to deal with, thank you Adderall 🤗
FloppyFerrett1@reddit
🙂Yes, thank you!✌🏻
JMR215@reddit
What GLP did you try? Maybe it just wasn't the right one. I thought the same, and I tried Zepbound, and it worked so well for me.
BungenessKrabb@reddit
I tried that Hers stuff. I may try another. I've heard good things about Zepbound. I had scheduled a tummy tuck earlier this year but I chickened out. I have two dogs & one of them refuses to even try going up & down stairs. I have no clue how to navigate that issue for up to 3 months 🤣.
Late_Homework_2705@reddit
Also try walking, especially outside where you can enjoy the scenery. Alone or with a friend. I swear by it for improving mental health plus it will likely get you thinking about and motivated for more exercise and healthier living in general.
BungenessKrabb@reddit
Oh yeah. I have a great deer trail up the hill behind my house. Me & the dogs walk it at least 3x every day. I'm trying to keep moving, even dancing or rowing. I lose 10 lbs within the first couple of weeks then plateau. Then I get discouraged, gain the 10 lbs back in like, 2 days and start the process all over again.
I've been doing this 10lb shuffle for almost 5 years now. I've had damn near everything tested, no health issues but I'm finding no solutions. I may sign on with a personal trainer but I really really don't need any more humiliation.
Late_Homework_2705@reddit
I got a personal trainer a year ago with the intention of working with them for a couple months. But it was so helpful and held me accountable, especially when I was not eating as healthy or when I plateaued or gained back a few pounds, so I am still working out with them and it’s worth every cent.
bernadette1010@reddit
I could have written this exact comment. I am no longer me. Going on vacation in a couple of weeks and all I can think about is how my husband will want to take a ton of pics and I look like a sea hag.
ennuiandapathy@reddit
I’m starting to look like my mother. I console myself by knowing I’m not becoming the bitter, angry, nasty wretch that she was.
I stay active, do things I enjoy, and am doing all of the stuff I put off until ‘someday’.
I still wear my old styles but am moving towards comfort when I buy new things - think octogenarian art teacher.
I don’t care for how I look so I don’t spend a lot of time looking in the mirror or at current pictures. Plus, what I look like doesn’t affect how I live. My double chin doesn’t keep me from gardening, my pudge doesn’t stop me from creating (drawing, painting, knitting, photography), my grey hair doesn’t keep me from traveling, and my wrinkles don’t keep my partner from finding me attractive.
Do I wish I’d aged more gracefully or differently? Am I surprised by how fast it snuck up on me? Yes and yes. Am I struggling to accept the new normal? Also yes.
GenXerfafo@reddit (OP)
I gardened last weekend for 3 hours! The best therapy!
AdnorAdnor@reddit
Yesssss getting away from mirrors, finally setting that bucket of fucks down, getting rid of high heels, and leaning into comfort over shape-wear has been a blessing. I lost my 15 year career as a federal civilian last year and challenged myself to decide what I REALLY want to do with the rest of my meatsuit years. So I started a nonprofit to help feed rural Missourians and launched my coaching business. I’m halfway through building a disc golf course. All three of these things were just ideas a few years ago. With the world flipped upside down these days, I’m glad I’m giving it a go whether anything works or not is beside the point. It’s going after the dream and realizing it’s not the end but the journey that’s the root of current joy. Hard work is hard work, but perspective makes all the difference. Sending love to all you GenXers out there: we still have a reason to play some Rage Against the Machine…or Indigo Girls if you’re into them too 🤗
LDawnBurges@reddit
Same gf, same!🫂💖
Canuck_Noob75@reddit
Splurge a little and see a professional stylist. They can help with finding your new style, clothes makeup, hair, all of it. Have fun! 🤩
Organic-Ad3587@reddit
It’s like how much more face can I get? It just keeps getting bigger…my eyes lost in a sea of WHAT IS THAT? Oh, nevermind, it’s just my face. My face has somehow surpassed the ears and basically goes from eyebrows down to clavicle. Chin? Never heard of her. Toss in some breast cancer, thus a real quick turn around into post menopause and my face has now slid off my skull and is like a gelatinous talking lump. It says things like, wow, when did I become a gelatinous talking lump? I am shocked at how fast I have changed and kinda also shocked at how vain I am! I really wish I could just get over it and move on! It’s a process apparently.
smallwonder25@reddit
I really love your way with words. My face is also sliding into a large gelatinous lump. It’s fucking weird.
Icy-Map9410@reddit
I hear you, it’s depressing. I just happened to see the most recent pictures of Liz Hurley, who will be 61 in June. She looks 31 and perfect. I have no idea how she does it. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. Ruined my entire day😞
Merrynpippin136@reddit
Money is how she does it.
Icy-Map9410@reddit
Definitely agree there.
IndependentlyGreen@reddit
Every decade of life is an opportunity for reinvention. Who I was in my 20s is not who I am in my 50s. Weight gain and getting older are not failures. It means you've lived.
Komaisnotsalty@reddit
Yes, so much so!
I feel like I hit 50 and then walked through a time accelerator. The texture of my hair and nails has changed, my skin is so freaking dry - especially on my calves, I have weird hairs and spots showing up in weird places, my sex drive has increased (I thought it was supposed to decrease? Not that I'm complaining about that one, mind you 😆), and even my personal scent.
And I don't recognize the woman in the mirror either.
Civil_Inspector_5697@reddit
All the time.
frozen_charlotte@reddit
Turned 57 yesterday. My once luxuriously thick and curly hair is thinning dramatically. Oily, yet dry. Limp. A completely different texture and it sheds like a Saint Bernard. Patches of dandruff. Like, what tf is that about? I’ve never had dandruff in my life. What is no longer growing on my head is growing out of my cheeks, chin, neck and occasionally on the top of my big toe (before you ask or suggest…I can’t do HRT because I have a clotting disorder. Not even bio-identicals. I’m fucked). The tweezing never ends. Skin is a completely different texture. Tags/moles/other in fucked up places? Check. New, unexplained body odor of a swamp thing? Check. IBS? Check. Apron belly? Check. Fupa? Check. Pee when I laugh, cough, sneeze? Check. Depression? Check (I mean, geezus, can you blame me?). I could go on and on…
I used to be a hot bitch. Now I’m just a bitch.
Sorry, fellas. I’m taken. Lol.
raisedbypoubelle@reddit
I love oral minoxidil. Between that, laser hair removal and GLP1, I’m feeling more like myself. It’s amazing to see your hair again after a while of seeing thinning. I feel like I look 10 years younger.
Geenpools@reddit
Radical acceptance ladies, all the oil from pimples I had in high school are enabling less wrinkly skin, but my boobs keep growing and it’s NOT pleasant. Triple Ds. Can’t afford boob reduction.
cutie_k_nnj@reddit
As an owner operator of DDDs, I wanted to tell you about this bra. https://a.co/d/06icdxzT. By far one of the most comfortable I have found. For like $20!!
Organic-Ad3587@reddit
Ha! That just gave me a good chuckle! Owner operator! lol As I chuckle away and all of my nearly developed multiple chins wiggle…I need a “chins” bra to hook over my ears.
YukonSunset@reddit
When I got into my 40s I started to question it all. Like what happened to the "hot me"? But nonetheless, I figured it wasn't so bad.
But now I'm in my early 50s and I'm noticing my makeup doesn't go on the same any more. It's one thing that my hair gets droopy. My beautiful hair that used to be so fluffy and easily held a great haircut with minimal effort — is starting to show signs that maybe it's time to stop thinking I can still style it the way I did 15 years ago. But my makeup? Since when did smearing on some foundation become difficult? Since when did applying eyeshadow become something I had to do over and over to mask the drooping lids? It used to be swipe, done. Not anymore. And now I have to draw in my eyebrows, when I never had to.
Mainly, it's all the other things you mentioned. The weight gain that isn't looking like it's evenly distributed. The way my clothes feel on my skin, putting me off from wearing anything smart. So yeah, I'm also feeling like I'm not me anymore.
Fickle-Milk-450@reddit
Yes, exactly the same. Sigh.
goingloopy@reddit
Almost 52. Have actually lost a lot of weight on Mounjaro. However, my skin looks awful. My hair went through a bad patch (probably a combination of weight loss and menopause), but it’s back to normal. I don’t want to stop coloring it because my natural hair makes me look washed out, and now it’s an auburn to purple ombré that makes me happy.
My body is the same odd shape it’s always been, except now my butt is horrifying. It looks like a double chin. My best friend (who has always been fairly thin) assured me that hers is horrible too.
I’m just planning to be eccentric and weird. I’m certainly not planning to take advice on what’s appropriate from people who are half my age. I like to think our generation is going to be cool old people. We should turn nursing homes nocturnal. I have spent my whole life on someone else’s schedule. If I ever get to retire, I’m never getting up before noon.
ShesAVibeKiller@reddit
I love your plan of being eccentric and weird!
Late_Homework_2705@reddit
I’ve actually had a glow up in the last couple years... Once I became an empty nester and focused on myself, my health and happiness, I feel and look so much better.
smookypoo@reddit
Same, empty nester, diet is clean and now very fit and strong, work is good. 54, menopause 47, hrt started 49. I feel great, husband super fit too I’m enjoying him also. Our kids now follow us on Strava very cool. Who would have thought all this in our 50s. Do I look different in the mirror? Yes but I’m 54 I’m not 34 and wouldn’t want to be. 34 year olds have house payments!
dancetildawn94@reddit
I really love this and wish more people would have this attitude, stop complaining about getting older and using it as an excuse to not improve themselves at all.
Late_Homework_2705@reddit
Yes, I love my kid and miss the days when she was little but I am so proud of who she is as a grown up and so happy to have “reclaimed myself.” Though she and I often disagree about what is acceptable behavior for me “at my age.” If you believe we only live once, get busy enjoying life and making the most of it!
AppropriateAmoeba406@reddit
Nice! I’m going to try and channel this energy. Got 2 kids to go. They will be a Jr and a Sr next school year.
Substationzer0@reddit
Got a Ring notification on my phone and picked it up to see who was at the door. I fumbled picking it up and saw this haggard woman on my front porch in a ratty concert tshirt and shorts. I told my boyfriend “don’t open the door! There’s some strange old woman on the porch. Something’s not right”. It was me. I was watching a video of myself coming back in after taking out the trash earlier. I was the scary, old haggard woman that I thought might look a little crazy. It. Was. Me. I scared myself.
RuffyPower@reddit
I'm howling
Need_A_Vacation_2022@reddit
It’s funny because it’s true!!!
Waitinginpensacola@reddit
I identify so much with all of these comments. I’m 48F, and I don’t look like myself anymore. Life these days doesn’t give me much time to exercise, I’m in perimenopause and gaining weight when I’m not eating any more than I used to eat. I just started estrogen patches three weeks ago, and the terrible night sweats are already getting better. I’m thinking about buying a bicycle, I need to find a way to get more active! I’m glad I’m still alive, but it is not easy to look at myself and see an old lady. I want to look and feel as good as I can, naturally. It’s like one day I was still “hot”, the next, I was NOT! 🤣🤣🤣
Familiar-Pianist-682@reddit
Yes. You are not alone.
CittaMindful@reddit
My face is slowly transforming into that of my father at this age. My eyes are slowly starting to droop like his did. My friend took pics of me on an outing a few weeks ago - where the hell did that double chin come from?!?!? And my hairline appears to be slowly moving backwards. I don’t know who the woman in those pics is…
But….. I truly love myself and, in theory, I love my body just as it is. No offence to anyone who has chosen to go the GLP route but Ive long since decided that that is not for me due to potential side effects and not wanting to have ozempic face. The one benefit of some extra weight is that I don’t have many facial wrinkles.
RHCP1031@reddit
💯how I feel and I’m 46, it’s like I forgot how to dress myself. Have gained 15 lbs and feel grumpy and old but inside I feel like a 25-year-old.
Need_A_Vacation_2022@reddit
100000%
CMJ_one@reddit
Yeah I’m 55 and don’t recognize myself. When I was 40, I was in the best shape of my life. After menopause I gained 50 lbs and my body just doesn’t work the way it used to. I know I need to do better with exercise and diet but it’s hard with work and family obligations. I used to love getting pictures with friends now I don’t even want to see myself in the mirror.
pineapple_bandit@reddit
I have never been truly overweight but I gained 25 lbs in 6 months after menopause, and experienced what you are talking about.
I started wegovy 3 months ago and feel much better now. Down 12 lbs with 18 to go. I'm starting to see the boxy midsection that I developed over the past couple years is starting to revert back to an hourglass again.
Fugue_State76@reddit
The boxy midsection is awful. But it's the sagging jowls on my face... and my neck, wtf is all that lose skin on there now ?? It's all just depressing...
hugatree2023@reddit
Yep. HRT is helping some things but my looks are gone and none of the things that have always helped me keep my weight down are working so I’m about to get on peptides. I don’t have hope I’ll look myself again but I am eating as well as I can, I have quit drinking entirely and I’m lifting weights and keeping moving as much as I can. I was pretty my whole life. Now I’m just gonna be strong and look as good as I can for my age. Accepting it with a bit of an attitude!
Secret_Purple7282@reddit
I completely resemble this. I'm still figuring out how to fix it.
Inside i still feel like me and then i see myself.
SaigonPanic@reddit
Same…’then I see myself’. It’s a combination of horror, regret & sadness every time.
Secret_Purple7282@reddit
Well put.
Goodbykyle@reddit
I am with you about the pictures 😱
erinna_nyc@reddit
I’m 51 and have been feeling the effects of perimenopause big time the past 8 months. Waking up every night feeling like a furnace and only getting a couple hours of sleep. My partner never knew what mood he was coming home to, just awful.
I just started HRT plus wegovy and already feeling some relief. If this is an option for you, could be worth a try. I really wish someone encouraged me to do this four years ago
mcchillz@reddit
Every. Damn. Day.
Gloomy-Community-199@reddit
I could have written this! I feel the exact same way.
Livid-Technology-396@reddit
Not sure what you ladies think of yourselves, but I can tell you about my GenX 56 year old wife. She’s been nothing short of amazing in all departments. From a wife, mother, and career woman, she absolutely still rocks my world!
88secret@reddit
I’m an older GenX….went through the Big M in the past couple of years and until then I thought I was aging pretty well. Until I developed the meno-belly practically overnight and everything from the top of my head to my knees slid down my frame 2 inches, except for said belly. I saw a video of myself yesterday at a family birthday party and legit thought I was my 79 year old mother. I appreciate the knowledge, wisdom, and experience life has given me, and I don’t want to be 25 again. But I also don’t want to look like a pregnant grandma.
notade50@reddit
Between early menopause from a hysterectomy, quitting smoking, several courses of steroids, quitting stimulants, some more steroids (for autoimmune disorder), antipsychotics (which also cause weight gain), and a couple of other things, I’ve gained 100lbs in the past 10 years. I know I’ll never be thin again, but if I could just stop packing on the pounds that would be great. I just keep gaining and gaining. I was always the skinny girl that got picked on for being too thin. Now I’m huge. Just a couple of hours ago I caught a glimpse of myself in a full body mirror and I legit did not recognize myself. I’ve come to accept that I’m a big girl now, but I just feel gaining. Sigh.
splenicartery@reddit
I cried at the dmv when I got my license and didn’t recognize the photo. From like 20-50, I didn’t change much. I’m 55 now and this past year has been brutal. I look old and fat. I’m actually embarrassed to be seen by anyone who’s known me a long time.
I’m trying to make healthy choices and find the self-love but it’s a chore. But I’m still trying. It seems like it might just take a while.
At least your post made me feel less alone. Xox
lisep1969@reddit
This is me so much.
I feel like nothing I do makes a difference now. I don’t see myself in the mirror anymore.
splenicartery@reddit
That’s the issue. Nothing we do seems to make a difference. No cream, haircut, outfit, workout, or even regimen seems to make a dent. It’s so demoralizing.
PahzTakesPhotos@reddit
I stopped coloring my hair before the pandemic. In November of 2019, I'd gotten tired of waiting for my roots to grow out and went and got a pixie cut. I've kept the sides/back short on my own with my own clippers ever since. Last Fall, I realized it had been six years, maybe I should let it grow out. I'd always had longer hair (shoulder length and beyond). So, I'm trying. But every time I look at myself, I miss the slightly edgy look of having super-short hair with the long bits on the top. To me, it just looks very grandma-y. And I am a grandma (of one, she's 5), but I preferred the cooler grandma look. I've been going gray since 17, so my hair texture didn't change much. And the mostly salt with a little pepper looks great.
I try not to focus on my body at all. I mostly just make sure my clothing fits properly so I'm comfortable. I just want to be able to walk around without being in too much pain. AND- I have resting fat face, so photos I take of myself look great, but photos other people take of me, I look like the stereotypical old fat lady. (I'm a photographer at our local renaissance faires, so I sometimes get photographed by one of our other official photographers).
I wish I had a solution, but it isn't all bad. Since letting the gray take over, I no longer have to deal with catcalling or unwanted attention at all. I've disappeared into the Crone stage of life and I'm okay with that part.
Twisted_lurker@reddit
My wife had been going grey for decades. She gave up the fight maybe 5 years ago and it looks great.
I enjoy seeing ladies who die their hair blue, green or whatever. Be GenX and go unconventional.
PahzTakesPhotos@reddit
I have used oVertone color on my hair before. It shows up on the gray/white extremely vibrant. And as it washes out, it fades to nice shades till it's gone (not like other dyes that sort of go brassy or very faded-looking). I've had mine blue, teal, red, and purple streaks; not simultaneously, that would be too much work and I'm more of a "slap it on, rinse it out" type than I am for careful color curation.
Ms_not_Mrs0771@reddit
Overtone is the way! It totally washes out nicely doesn’t “stain” white or grey hair and the shades are so fun.
PenguinSpectre@reddit
I use the Overtone silvers on my grey and white hair to deal with brassiness. When I leave it on a little too long, my hair comes out an awesome smoky blue color.
nv-erica@reddit
Yeah. I think mostly I look ok except my bag lady hair. It doesn’t - like - hang down like it used to.
No-County7603@reddit
I am 54 and feel so ugly, I used to be hot. I just feel like my hair has changed and my face. I just feel like I'm a different woman it's confusing as hell.
TheNolaCatLady@reddit
Same here, honey! Body wise, I've still got it going on. I've never been overweight and never had kids, so my physique is great. The problem is I'm starting to show my age in my face. I don't think I look that bad in the mirror, but photos are a whole other story. I look at them and wonder who the fuck is that old lady. I probably scare young men who are staring at my ass and then when I turn around they see that I am a geriatric fuck. 😂
No-County7603@reddit
😂😂😂
canfullofworms@reddit
I think the secret is to never have been hot in the first place.
Realistic-Produce-28@reddit
Yes! You are not alone. I see myself in photos now and I swear I don’t look as bad in real life as I do in the picture. It’s not a weight issue because I’m the same as ever and I photographed better before. The weight is just distributed differently I think.
My face and body are changing and, as I told a friend recently, I look like a middle-aged/old lady. It’s a tough reality and transition to accept.
Curious_Field7953@reddit
55 here. I had cancer 13 years ago and that didn't change me nearly as much as turning 50 did. I lost 80lbs in 3 months and now look like a gaunt Jigsaw.
No-Regular-4281@reddit
🙋🏻♀️ Cried on my birthday yesterday. I don’t look or feel like me. Had a kidney transplant January 25. Im trying
Catskillschick@reddit
Happy belated birthday😇 wishing you health and happiness
Birddog240@reddit
i'm a male fifty one , i get your drift
Tanya7500@reddit
I actually said I don't know who that broad is to my husband and it was me
Outrageous_Plum5348@reddit
I started skincare when my aunt gave me a Clinique bonus gift at 17. I have stayed out of the sun and practiced religious daily skincare since that day so I feel pretty good overall.
DarklyDominatingDocs@reddit
Me. I loathe mirrors now.
Own_Celebration5462@reddit
Oh, of course. 55 here and have gained 20 pounds in the past few years. Thanks, menopause. My clothes fit weird because it’s not evenly distributed and styles don’t look right anymore. I have the look of a tired middle aged woman. The workouts I used to be able to do, like running, feel so impossible. Maybe it’s the extra 20? I’m trying to reverse course with weight training. Some days I think I look fine, but then a photo will come up and eek. Definitely dealing with some self-esteem issues myself.
Solid-Wish-1724@reddit
I could have written this, in fact my post just now is similar! Also 55f and used to work out religiously. The camera has always hated me with a unique fury. Self esteem is in the toilet.
Own_Celebration5462@reddit
It sucks. We work so hard for so long, only for our body to go, nah.
Comfortable_Club9051@reddit
I am still quite pretty and in shape but I don’t like how my figure changed. I need to change things up. My husband doesn’t notice anyway. He is depressed and not taking care of himself and driving me away. Sucks to be him. I’ll be fine.
2PlasticLobsters@reddit
Yes, I especially hate that I developed the same double chin/bullfrog neck as my abusive father. I never wanted to see that face ever again.
But I had a wake-up call a few years ago when I got a cancer diagnosis. It was an early catch at stage zero, fortunately. I had a hysto & some chemo, my scans & blood tests have been clear.
There's nothing like a good close look at your own mortality to put things into perspective. At least I'm still above ground to grimace at the mirror every morning.
BananaBread_2325@reddit
yes!
Professional_Use8237@reddit
If you have access, join a gym and start strength training. It will not only help w the physical changes, but it helps w mental noise. I’m 52 and am dealing w menopausal weight, but damn, I feel so much better and stronger after I throw some iron around. (I’m not a lifelong gym rat, I started a few months ago. I hate getting up early, but I always feel better after I go). If you don’t have access, there are lots of good trainers on line focusing on beginner strength training. Good luck!
Rare_Mistake_6617@reddit
Agree! I had a few false starts to working out regularly to lose some of the weight. However, I would get discouraged not seeing results as quickly as in the past. So I reframed the reason for exercise, not for the visual, but for the health aspects. Now I pick workouts based on activities I enjoy. Hiking? Incline treadmill with weighted vest. Yardwork? Weight training to handle pulling weeds, lugging supplies, etc. Snorkeling? Swimming laps. I figure this way I can enjoy activities more, especially on vacation. Any potential physical glow up is just a bonus.
jitterbugperfume99@reddit
Yes! Was also going to say there are definitely some excellent trainers on YouTube, I have three sets of weights & a kettlebell and it’s made a lot of difference.
ValgalNP@reddit
I was for a while. Then I realized I didn’t want to go down without a fight. Lol. I stopped eating processed foods and started a great strength training program. Got on HRT. Now I feel and look better than I have in years. Probably added some life to my years too. Don’t give up!
Duran518@reddit
All the time!
No-Country6348@reddit
After aging rapidly from cancer treatment, i treated myself to a deep plane facelift. I look and feel so great now.
shooflypie@reddit
I think I'm becoming exactly the person I need to be. I'm ugly, yes, but in the best shape of my life. I live simply and am growing old gratefully.
Apart-Cream-4940@reddit
God yes. I was a cute little twig of a girl. Now I'm the whole tree with a puffy face. I was also considered nice and sweet. Not so much anymore. I'm cynical and sarcastic
Solid-Wish-1724@reddit
Yep. I can't find a style and wear clothes from 10 yrs ago because I can't afford to shop and don't know what or where to anyway. My hair is too long and gray, makes me look old and coupled with a biggish chin, I look like a witch. I was "hot" 20 years and 20 lbs ago. But I have thus far survived breast cancer, so I guess it beats being scattered in the wind.
NaturalProfession922@reddit
58f. We are now in our final transition. Breathe. Appreciate the body and health you still have. You woke up. You win.
Wyde1340@reddit
Yes, I've become a guy...not literally, but that's all I see.
I've always been tomboyish but I had somewhat of a girlish face and at least a hint of hips ...
My hair has decided to look greasy ALL of the time and my teeth are giving up the ghost
I never thought it would bother me, but for the last year, it's been bad. I cry a lot.
I get the added pleasure (and pressure?) of having Stage 4 lung cancer and people saying "Hey, at least you're alive!". Yeah me! (I'm out over 7 years and physically doing well, not sick)
FloppyFerrett1@reddit
<3
Working_Park4342@reddit
I stopped dying my hair about 18 months ago. I am So happy that I did! I have a beautiful mixture of gray, white, and to my surprise, reddish blonde/light brown. It's still fairly long, just above my bra strap, and pretty curly. I wear dresses a lot now. Not 'church dresses', but everyday long-ish dresses that are free flowing, nothing tight around my waist. Like sundresses paired with a sweater.
I am 60, I feel feminine, and I feel at home in my own skin. I dress for myself, I don't wear makeup, I go for walks and I'm me. I love taking hot showers with good smelling soaps, using nice lotions and powders. I live alone and work from home. No family, but good neighbors.
If you don't like what you see in the mirror, change it for YOU. Make yourself feel good on the inside and it will show on the outside.
FloppyFerrett1@reddit
With the jowls & deep nasal/labial folds & no money for filler, there's a limited amount at what the makeup aisle can do :-/
scubagirl44@reddit
My hair has always been an ashy dark blond or dishwater blond. Not attractive. I gave up dying it and it's coming in brown with silver. I'm 52. I don't know why the color changed but it's so much better.
MaximumJones@reddit
Like Stuart Smalley, you just have to practice your daily affirmations. 😁
FloppyFerrett1@reddit
Haha yes 😄✌🏻
Honeybee71@reddit
Yes and I’ll just have to accept it I guess. I almost died a few years ago so I prefer this
Popular-Set-4805@reddit
Menopause at 41 + no HRT - so I guess I'm used to the crone age now at 57. Enjoy being invisible - no sarcasm. I could go to work I'm pajamas and no one would notice!
DazzlingDoofus71@reddit
Fortunately I’ve always been a chubbola so I had that going for me 🌝 but yeh. That Mary Kay Miracle that takes place on my face every morning ain’t working like it used to
coopenda@reddit
Omg the hot flashes
Electronic_Agent_251@reddit
Yep, 51 here and I don’t recognize my face any more. The jowls, the change in hair texture, the coarse curly white hair growing in on my head, a couple of eyebrow hairs trying to become antennas. I’ve been HRT for a couple of years but it may be time to go in for a tune up. Recently added tretinoin to my skin care but I know it won’t help with the jowls.
TeaGlittering1026@reddit
I never had any self esteem to begin with, so nothing is lost.
AlwaysatTechDee@reddit
Are you me from 5 years ago? Lots of therapy and lifting weights helped me reclaim my self esteem. It’s not perfect, but better than before
Ok-Offer-541@reddit
I feel and look old. 😢
eurobeez@reddit
I don’t recognize others lol. I see an old highschool friend pop up and think “holy crap he/she looks like someone grandma/grandpa but in my head I’m still in my 30’s 😅
Significant_Ruin4870@reddit
I don't look the same at 60 (and really who would?), and I just don't care. I don't exist to be decorative for other people and as long as I buy clothes that work for my body now, and I don't resort to sweats for everything, I feel fine about myself. I've had to relinquish a few dresses that I wore when younger because I look like mutton dressed as lamb in them. Bummer but that's life. Now if only the hot flashes would abate.
Pigeonofthesea8@reddit
I am shaped like a Barbapapa or Grimace from McDonald’s now and have a moon face (like fully round, like a pizza or basketball or donut ).
I just have to lose weight that’s it. Meanwhile I got a few cheap, comfortable things from Old Navy to hide what bugs me and got some great lipstick and sunglasses. When I can get sleep I work out
formercotsachick@reddit
I just posted this yesterday in a similar thread:
After many years of not taking care of my skin other than sunscreen when doing outdoor activities, and not wearing makeup, at 55 I've flipped the script. I have a morning and evening multi-step skin routine, and I've started wearing makeup again albeit in a different way than I used to when I was younger (foundation is appalling on me now). It's made me feel a thousand times better about myself, not only in appearance, but just looking at it as self-care instead of a chore.
I also dye my hair vivid colors (currently watermelon red and neon green), dress for the much larger body I have now, and exercise regularly not for weight loss but to increase my stamina, strength and flexibility.
I'm definitely not as attractive as I used to be by a long shot, but I still clean up pretty well with some effort, and most importantly I try to give myself love and grace as I age.
Ribeye_steak_1987@reddit
Yes. Dealt with this exact issue. So when my youngest left for college, I joined Jenny Craig, and lost the 25 pounds I’d put on. Then I hired a personal trainer to help with regaining my strength. Then I addressed my saggy neck and face with a facelift. Something I’m also doing is the pellet hormone therapy. Another thing I did is take a hard look at my skincare routine. With the help of an esthi, I started a medical grade skincare program to handle larger pores and rosacea. Honestly, I feel pretty great and I think I look pretty great.
Take this time to focus on you. Make it your glow up phase.
Intelligent-Mine-868@reddit
I don’t look like the old me at all and that’s okay. Started Mounjaro a year ago and will probably stay on it for another decade or so at a level of 5. Means I can still eat I just don’t obsess about food or binge eat anymore. You have to be careful though as when you’re not hungry you tend to snack and not necessarily nutritious food so I’m making a point to have protein at every meal to combat that drawn tired look and I’m also using micro needling at home products.
We have to really think about taking care of ourselves at this age; weekly face and hair masks, lots of water, some form of exercise (mine is walking but I know I need to do some form of weight training for strength), good nutrition, collagen supplements, wardrobe and beauty refresh. It’s like a second job but if we want to keep the first ones we need to make the effort. Don’t worry about not looking like your old self just try and look the best you can for where you are now and remember you are not your body or your face - not the real you!
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Yep! I'm the same age and menopause absolutely ravaged me.
Started about ten years ago. I was still thin and had normal energy levels, then bam! I suddenly was fatigued and achy every day. I went to all kinds of doctors and did all sorts of tests, and they couldn't find anything wrong so concluded I must have fibromyalgia.
Perimenopause hit a couple years later, and I started gaining weight, then covid hit and I gained more.
Then full blown menopause with the brain fog, and exacerbated ADHD symptoms. I fly off the handle for any tiny thing.
Now I'm forty pounds overweight, and it's completely changed my face. My mouth and eyes are smaller, I can't smile with my teeth, I get patches of eczema I never had before, and little broken blood vessels on my face.
I have big brown age spots on my hands and some on my forehead. And huge moles on my back. I had six skin cancers removed last year. I wear sunscreen every day but between genetics a d sun worship in the 80's, I am paying the price.
My legs used to be one of my best features, but my skin is all crepey now and also has sunspots everywhere there as well.
My whole body is stiff. I try to stretch every morning and it's so painful and not much progress is being made.
I drink tons of water, take vitamins, walk every day after work, and do a lot of swimming in summer. But it's like my metabolism is in a standstill.
HRT hasn't helped. My insurance won't approve GLPs. My doctor then prescribed something that's basically low dose of speed instead and it made my heart rate spike too much, so I had to stop it after two days.
Tinselcat33@reddit
Have you tried an anti-inflammatory diet? Might help some of your symptoms. I’m still overweight and tired, but it is manageable. I’m gluten free and alcohol free.
Striking_Piano2695@reddit
Same. I even quit drinking alcohol over a year ago, and I didn’t lose any weight. I just continued to gain.
I’m hoping to get to the gym after a shoulder surgery in December.
But everything is so painful. I used to do triathlons for crying out loud.
NoFanksYou@reddit
If you are able to lift weights then do it. It’s a game changer.
onions-make-me-cry@reddit
I just don't feel pretty anymore, and haven't for a long time. I'm grateful that I never placed a lot of emphasis on my attractiveness to begin with, but it would be nice if I felt attractive... for me. I don't.
AdnorAdnor@reddit
At 50, I feel invisible to the male gaze (except my partner’s) these days…but my 16 yo daughter isn’t. I hated the ogling back then and feel incensed witnessing it today.
onions-make-me-cry@reddit
I don't miss the ogling. To this day if I accidentally make eye contact a man will flirt with me, but I still don't feel pretty.
Paint-by-numberrs@reddit
Yes! I'll be 51 next month, and I've gained so much weight in the last 3 years. I'm about 40 lbs overweight now. I've always been thin most of my life. I've started wearing elastic waist pants to work. I think I may be in menopause, although it hasn't been a year yet since my last period. I'm definitely in perimenopause, though.
flyingfish_roe@reddit
Nothing I do changes my weight. I gained 20 lbs in a year, I do cardio x4 weekly, cut back on drinking and carbs, nothing works. So my clothes are all baggy and scruffy because I can’t guarantee what size I will be tomorrow. It’s soul crushing, I used to be so well-put together and took pride in my appearance but now my face looks rounder and more like my father, who was a drunk prick. I take comfort in that I smile more than he did, but I have his double chin.
Outrageous_Drag6613@reddit
I’m post menopause. Been there for a while and it sucks.
LuminalDjinn11@reddit
Yes and although I appreciated the changes in no longer caring to such a debilitating extent what other people think about me and my choices, I could not accept not recognizing myself physically. I just did not AGREE.
HRT has been a godsend in that department , although it is a work-in-progress getting the script right. Oh and I found I had Progesterone Intolerance (thanks to r/Menopause) and so did not give up on HRT when I was flooded with formless dread and global terror out of the blue. Ended up taking the oral pill one o the other routes.
Gisselle441@reddit
I would love to get rid of my double chin but since it's genetic I'd have to go under the knife and so far it's not been worth it to me.
wtfiqwm51@reddit
Yes, and I knew this day was gonna come! I wasn't drop dead gorgeous when I was younger but attractive. Now I am fat and not pleasant on the eyes at all. I still picture myself when I was younger and when I look in the mirror I wanna throw up. I now look past myself in the mirror to get my hair or teeth brushed that's it. I lost myself not so long ago but it feels like a lifetime ago as well! I'm somewhere in my body I just don't know where or maybe I am just so tired of myself, she's in hiding. Either way I am blessed for my life and grateful for all that has been provided to me.
Left_Guess@reddit
I’ve gone invisible.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Same 😞
Raythecatass@reddit
59 yr old. I started counting my calories about 2.5 years ago. I lost 31 lbs. My double chin is gone, my knees healed, and I can wear cute jeans again. Will continue counting calories the rest of my life. My mother was overweight most of her life.
Academic_Ad_8229@reddit
Same - turned 50 and completely changed my diet. I had lived my entire life with acid reflux issues. That, coupled with being 30lb overweight, daily hip pain, I needed to do something. I've been eating clean for almost 2 years. I lost the weight, can fit into my clothes again, and just feel better. It's a daily commitment though.
Advanced_Nose_7738@reddit
That's great+ Congrats on that and for keeping your lifestyle change as a permanent thing.
I remember a day way back in 2017 and noticed I was using a different belt buckle notch. Counting calories became my thing and it worked like a charm. The tradeoff is so worth it.
TakitishHoser@reddit
I'm 51 soon. I actually feel quite good about myself. I don't fight aging, never have. I just took decent care of my skin, used a moisturizer that helped my skin feel better, no anti wrinkle stuff.
I've always been a bit camera shy.
About 10 years ago I stopped colouring my hair. I kept my hair long. I don't follow any beautify advice, never have. I march to the beat of my own drum. If I want to paint my toenails blue, I do it etc.
MoonLady17@reddit
I absolutely love my aging body and face. My confidence is higher than it was when I was younger, although I deal with some self-doubt at times. What I’m doing:
Major lifestyle changes. I was fit and active when I was younger but let go of myself in my 40s while working from home and dealing with a lot of health symptoms and chronic fatigue. I had gained 20 pounds and barely had energy.
I made slow changes like 15-30 min of light cardio in the mornings. Then I started doing beginner yoga in the evenings. Later I started doing light weight training and toning videos in the evenings. I started paying attention to what I was eating and what fills me up and what makes me hungrier. I started meal prepping.
In November I joined a gym and started doing group fitness classes 3 x a week (still doing my morning cardio and some exercise at home). I’m doing more significant weight training and feel great.
My weight is almost back down to where I was healthy and comfortable in early adulthood (5 lbs away). The weight loss has been over a period of about a year and a half.
Also I listen to Louise Hay and have read her books. She has one book that addresses self love. I think it’s “You can Heal your Life”.
A big game changer for me was switching from focusing on looks to focusing on how much I appreciate my body (heart beating, lungs for breathing, legs for walking, etc).
Bixiebee23@reddit
I embraced the changes and have gone full grandma core. I have no desire to look younger, but I am having so much fun looking my age or older.
I started getting a lot of attention from adult men when I was 11-12 and it never stopped. So I was actually grateful when finally they finally started leaving me alone. After I was widowed I "let myself go" as far as society believes. But it was just the natural aging process.
I let my hair go gray, I dress in colorful and comfortable clothes and focus far more on not getting "old" (complaining about young people, whining about new music, fashion, refusing to learn new things, living mostly in nostalgia etc...) I spend most of my time with young people now, so I feel very young. And I get to be everyone's mom/grandma, which brings me so much joy.
I get so many complements on my appearance from "the girls and the gays" that I feel very good about how I look now. Wrinkles, goofy neck, weight gain and all.
My dad raised me to believe aging is a gift that should be embraced, it is the getting old you must avoid at all costs.
TakitishHoser@reddit
I am the same way. I would be fully covered clothing wise (not that it should matter what people wear) and have people honking & whistling at me as I walked up the street. I absolutely hated it, it was embarrassing too. I work in customer service, the customers would always hit on me. Again, I hated it.
Finally at about age 45, it all stopped. It was like a sign of relief that I finally had some piece when just walking about.
You're right, aging is a gift. A gift not afforded to all. Many don't make it to even 50 let alone beyond that.
Arielist@reddit
I love this!! Embrace aging, but avoid "getting old." One is a physical reality you must surrender to, the other is a psychological/spiritual choice you have the agency to make every day. ❤️
Mookeebrain@reddit
I totally recognize myself because I am turning into my grandma. She was very overweight and developed heart failure, and that's where I was heading ( hopefully WAS). I am in the process of losing weight. I count my calories each day for about 1200- 1399 calories goal which gives me a moderate weight loss of 1lb a week. I lost 7 lbs so far. It is somewhat difficult because I love to eat, but I do feel better now. Once I get to my goal weight, I will still count my calories, probably at 1600 per day to maintain.
onions-make-me-cry@reddit
Good for you for making your health a priority. I know it's really hard because I've been there myself. But it will pay off in spades.
emryldmyst@reddit
Yes and it fuckin sucks and pisses me off.
Im now dealing with tendons stiffening and shortening
Please.. if you do nothing else... stretch everyday at least once... especially the hips.
I do about five to ten minutes or so in the morning and it has made ALL the difference.
The workouts I know try to do are geared for balance and core strength.
Even though I'm slowly gaining weight my body feels stronger in many ways ..
Academic_Ad_8229@reddit
I need to start stretching - my hips and lower back are so stiff and painful.
emryldmyst@reddit
It doesn't take much or long..
My physical therapist walked me through several stretches for my hips.
So easy and I actually can do them lying down so I do them before I even get up.
Roseliberry@reddit
I would also add: Balance training. How else we gonna escape the nursing home ?
PippinKC@reddit
I've felt like a sexless potato for the last 5 years, just not myself. Finally, after asking for the last few years, gotten on HRT(just recently) and started tirzepatide last December. Down 20 lb and losing still. I'm starting to feel like myself again. I've never been beautiful but my face no longer looks bloated and my wattle is disappearing. I'm not going quietly!
vodeodeo55@reddit
Did I look better at 25? Absolutely. But I feel better now. Yeah, I have a penguin body and a double chin, but I also have peace of mind. I'm comfortable in my own imperfect skin, and that means alot.
TakitishHoser@reddit
You're singing my song.
I take care of myself the best I can, I don't dread getting older. It's going to happen no matter what. It's something I have accepted.
I stopped colouring my hair about 10 years ago. Love my grey hairs. I just continue as always to do my own thing. I've never bought into the lotions etc that are suppose to help with wrinkles etc. I just use a regular lotion to help my skin feel better & go with that. Nothing fancy.
I'm glad you are gracefully aging.
Academic_Ad_8229@reddit
Almost 52 and the body changes I've experienced in the last two years feel more extreme than the ones I exprienced in the last 20 years. Arm skin looks like crepe, age spots on my face are multiplying, completely in gray hair mode, need readers, and the worst of all - hemorrhoids like every other week. I've had to completely transform my nutrition/diet which has made me feel 10 times better, but damn I barely recognize myself in the mirror anymore.
BellaFromSwitzerland@reddit
I’m 10 years behind you so maybe not 100% applicable but right now I’m in really great health mobility-wise so I focus on sports and what I can achieve with my body rather than how I look. Whenever I can work out regularly, I’m immediately in a better state of mind
I also have a good skincare regimen with the right active ingredients
I’m in therapy
I’m about to start using HRT as I’ve done my research and I need it for my brain fog, the hot flashes and all the other issues
Ok_Key_4731@reddit
Women our age struggle to love our bodies. I try to look at it this way. My body grew children, survived puberty, is surviving perimenopause. Alla those are hormone shit shows! It’s a wonderful vessel. And yes our bodies do change as we age. It’s so hard to accept that.
Being active really does help. I have been going to the gym (I have a friend and we go together. We don’t let the other one say “I don’t want to go.”) I go three days a week and do strength training. I do not look like a bodybuilder by any means but I know I’m stronger.
Let’s also remember that for whatever reason, women are supposed to look and act a certain way. We don’t have to subscribe to that!
AdnorAdnor@reddit
Amen to strength training and friends that hold us accountable 🙌
vaughnbee@reddit
I feel this way too - and I’ve been in a spiral since yesterday when I looked at some photos people took of me at my daughter’s school event. I had been feeling kind of good about recently losing a little bit of weight- but I look awful and chubby in every photo.
AdnorAdnor@reddit
It’s interesting to me: my 16 yo daughter saw pictures of the wedding day to her dad and she was like, “you were so young back then!” I’m embracing middle age with a face framing Goldie Hawn haircut and keeping away from mirrors. This meatsuit has carried me this long and from here on I’m just gonna figure out how to keep finding my youthful spark no matter what the wrinkles and sagging neck says :)
crone_Andre3000@reddit
I made the mistake of cutting off my bra strap length hair and now I look like even more of a dude...I feel ya. It's rough.
Meekanado@reddit
I just went through a horrible transformation and am actively working on myself. Moved from a mountain town to a rural Midwest town and gained 70 lbs in the past seven years. Covid started it, and it spiraled from there. Depression and inactivity sucks the life out of you.
Started on Wegovy(it’s way cheaper now), and that plus lifting weights has me down a size in one month. Going slow and steady. I’ll never look like my old self again, so I’m going to love my new self! That perspective has really helped.
miteycasey@reddit
Almost like your hormones changed and you’re a different person.
havanesegirlmom@reddit
Ps - we aren’t Middle Aged
Agitated_Fox_@reddit
I’m 46 and feel this way.
user_name_taken2@reddit
I feel like my figure etc is fine and other than a few wrinkles I don't hate the way I look but my teeth are failing me due to health issues when I was younger. This consumes me and affects everything.
havanesegirlmom@reddit
I spent a small fortune the last few years paying my for divorced broke mother of two years .
Cerrac123@reddit
I had a total hysterectomy about 6 years ago, and definitely had that moment about 3 years ago. I had to take a picture for an ID badge, and it just about broke me. I don’t have any interest in being photographed for any reason anymore. 😕
havanesegirlmom@reddit
Pics are the tough
trUth_b0mbs@reddit
Hit the gym. Not for weight loss (but that does come par with the course) but to feel amazing, strong and build/maintain muscles and bone density.
If you want to do some cosmetic procedures, go for it. Fuck what everyone thinks. If this brings you joy, do it.
Up your skin care. Menopause dries you tf out both inside and out. I had to revamp my skin routine yet again thanks to fluctuating hormones 🤬
nyxblackroot@reddit
Yep. Every single day. I just turned 58 this week. I don't feel 58 most days, but I'm totally stressing out that I have to get a new photo taken at the MVD for a change of address on my driver's license. I actually liked the photo on my current one. Dammit.
NoH8Kate@reddit
100% I am. ❤️ I have no idea what to do.