Is there any social norm I don't know about when interacting with people in public?

Posted by emeraldism1234@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 21 comments

The title might be vague because I don't know the right way to phrase this question. I am a student from Bangladesh who came to the UK for studies. Why do people in public just somehow ignore each other? Also is there any problem with be looking around and observing people? When I'm on the bus, I don't like to be on my phone all the time and I want to observe how people look like, what they're doing, who is leaving and exiting the bus. Any feedback and advice on this? I searched about this online but the info I found was unclear

[-]

littlebird2446@reddit

Don’t stare at or watch people it’s creepy as hell.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. You chose to come here, follow our societal norms.

[-]

SqueakySquirrel117@reddit

I’m British and like many other British people I like to people watch. I don’t stare but I do watch. I mean, we have Neighbourhood Watch here in the UK, that implies watching, does it not?

Also, sure the OP chose to come here and was kindly asking how to behave. Your comment comes over as rather xenophobic.

[-]

emeraldism1234@reddit (OP)

Yeah I just want to make sure I don't provoke anyone

[-]

SqueakySquirrel117@reddit

Just be you. Being curious about people is good. You’ll be embraced by a lot of people and not by others. I hope you have a positive experience and good luck with your studies

[-]

emeraldism1234@reddit (OP)

thank you

[-]

Neither_Process_7847@reddit

In big cities people like to build a sense of privacy around themselves by avoiding eye contact etc. in public. In smaller places it can be very different with smiling and chatting to passers by. But nobody's going to be offended by someone just looking around them on the bus unless they're actively staring at people.

[-]

emeraldism1234@reddit (OP)

I observe people to see how they interact and react so I can learn how to talk with different types of people in public. It's also to see how people are in person in the UK. I've only seen British people in online media before this so I have quite a bunch of misconceptions. Hence I observe to verify whether those misconceptions are really misconceptions or not

[-]

Unhappy-Philosophy-9@reddit

Where in the UK are you studying? If you’re in London, that’s generally just what London is like.

Without wanting to be offensive, I would be very careful if you’re people watching. Especially in the current climate. Far right groups are on the rise and are looking for any reason to have a go at somebody who doesn’t have white skin.

[-]

emeraldism1234@reddit (OP)

I study at university of Kent in Canterbury

[-]

Namaste_Life@reddit

If you wish to people-watch, use your peripheral vision or just glance around.

[-]

lemonfluff@reddit

As others said, staring or talking to strangers in public is generally seen aa rude, intrusive and creepy here unless done in a very charismatic way.

To people watch, you're better off sitting in a cafe by the window when there are crowds walking by. But if you stare at someone and they make eye contact, look away, definitely don't keep staring.

[-]

OptionalQuality789@reddit

In general, in the uk, people tend to err on the side of minding their own business. I’d say you’re probably coming across as a bit weird to us if you’re observing everyone constantly.

[-]

Euphoric-Society8807@reddit

I think there is a difference between looking around and staring. It's a nuanced fine line you have to find. I don't think you HAVE to have your head down in a phone or whatever. It's ok to observe what's happening around you, as long as you don't fixate on ONE person for too long, and maybe look out the window or straight ahead for the most part. I am not in the UK but in Toronto and it's the same here and likely other North American cities as well. We are using transport to get to places (home, work, events) where we will likely engage with people and talk and be more friendly. Buses and subways are about getting from Point A to Point B without incident, and we don't really want to socialize on them.

[-]

Own-Lecture251@reddit

People like to keep to themselves on public transport when we're squashed together. We think it's a bit intrusive. That's not to say you won't ever find someone who's willing to chat but probably not at the busiest times. Your best bet might to be to strike up conversations with older people during the day. You might also have better luck at the bus stop. Say something about the weather or how late the bus is.

There's nothing wrong with observing what's going on around you or even people watching but no one likes to be stared at so you need to strike a balance watching and staring. Maybe it's just something we Brits learn from childhood and so do it instinctively.

[-]

TragicHeadcount_@reddit

It's generally seen as rude/confrontational/bad manners to stare at others.

And if you are doing that to women, it can also be interpreted as predatory.

If you are set on "observing" people coming and going then use a glance vs stare. Run you're gaze over the area without stopping on anyone specific.

[-]

MrMonkeyman79@reddit

For the most part, people just go about their business in public and aren't especially interested in socialising with passers by.

I'd say if someone was sat on a bus payimg a great deal of attention to what everyone around them was doing and the movement of everyone else on the bus that they'd look decidedly shifty. If you want to people watch on a bus then direct your attention out of the window.

[-]

Apart from that be polite, be courteous, but otherwise ignore everyone.

[-]

Long-Woodpecker-1980@reddit

People don't like you staring at them on the train or bus here. It makes them uncomfortable.

[-]

AutoModerator@reddit

Please help keep AskUK welcoming!

When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!

Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.