Dating as a trucker

Posted by RambleOnRoads@reddit | Truckers | View on Reddit | 90 comments

I’ve been out here on the road long enough to see that dating is next to impossible – like, unless you’re just looking for random occasional hookups, or you’ve already got a serious committed relationship at home, there’s not much time to meet anyone new, and certainly not enough time to build a strong relationship that’s secure enough to survive one of you being gone all the time.

But, what about dating other truckers? Like, the industry is getting pretty co-ed these days and there’s gotta be singles looking for love amongst both the male and female trucking populations. It seems to me that would be the sweet spot – you’d have someone who completely understands the ins and outs of the industry, doesn’t ride your ass about not making it home by a certain time because they get how backhauls/dispatch/traffic/etc can easily fuck your drive time, and doesn’t aim all of their insecurities at you thinking you’ve got someone you’re seeing in every town you go to because they understand that you’ve barely got time to do anything other than your job.

Plus, it stands to reason that if you meet another driver than that means you’ve got at least one lane in common, and if you’re good at trip planning and can make schedules work out, you could likely see each other a lot more often than you’d be able to see someone you’re dating on your home time. Like, sure, it might only be a few times a week/month, but that could still be often enough, right?

Like, would there be any downsides to this? I mean, unless you’re working for a company that micromanages the fuck out of you, as long as you’re not going off route and wasting resources to see one another, I can’t imagine that it’s problematic to see one another during your 14hr clock for lunch, hanging out, having an afternoon delight, etc if it’s not possible to spend a 10 together.

Am I being delusional? Could something like this work? Is finding another truck driver that we’re each equally single, looking for a relationship, and mutually attracted to one another like finding a needle in a haystack? And if so, is it playing with fire in regards to potentially losing your job for dating on company time?

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anotherredditor459@reddit

Honestly that’s what people don’t understand about truckers. Idk where they got the statistic that we are likely to cheat. FALSE. if anything, we’re more likely to get cheated ON. It happened to my uncle and it’s very much in line with my own experience in a way.

As a trucker, I felt like when dating/meeting someone, I felt like they had the upper hand. Like they’re out in the free world and could just meet anyone while I’m always buttfuck knows desolate where.

For the people who think truckers are cheaters, thing again. You don’t fucking know what it’s like.

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Artistic_Bumblebee17@reddit

I think it’s the lot lizards mostly and the fact that he is away and lonely

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StoneyDan2499@reddit

Exactly, how am I going to cheat on the road? Do you think I’m sleeping with lot lizards lol ? Disgusting. Unfortunately jobs like that require a lot of away from home time like military or trucking gets cheated on often. Not saying it will happen to everyone, but it happens.

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Migistat@reddit

I mean tbf I’ve seen it and with the advent of apps it’s not nearly as difficult. Lizards aren’t the only option. Is it hard to have a committed relationship as a trucker? Yes. But let’s not pretend it’s just as difficult for one offs. Also people in the military are notorious for cheating/running off with someone they meet at basic/on base unfortunately. Im not saying at home partners don’t cheat though.

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UniversityNo8574@reddit

Yeah, not to get too dark here but my dad was also a trucker and he had 3 serious relationships cheat on him while he was out on the road and the last was his fiance who he'd just bought a house with. He had a real hard time with all of it and is no longer with us thanks in part to all that. Just sucks because I know he was as loyal as they come.

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Wonderful-Actuary189@reddit

I'm so sorry for your loss and to hear how. :(

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Wonderful-Actuary189@reddit

Some do stop for lizard lots thinking wife will never know. I think its s great idea 💡 looking for other truckers to date. I have an rv and actually tried posting in trucker spot for a date. I think they would be very able to live or travel that way, less likely to cheat not saying it won't happen cause goes both ways. While home or at stop on road. Both think they can justify with absence or think they won't be caught. Honestly they knew what they signed up for. Sucks they have no self control or respect. But with a trucker they know the roads aren't afraid of pulling big loads.( I'm pulling 50 feet) my messages keep getting band or not looked at cause its not driver pertained. Even though im requesting a southern charm driver. I saw a female add requesting someone. She offered to pay their bill for a full year But they had to go on the road with her no phone just her company. Not sure if she found someone. But y'all shouldn't have to pay someone to be with you. I really think it a great idea. Maybe start a chat forum truckers looking to date other truckers while on road. And make it by location usa or etc.

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duckbobtarry@reddit

I've always heard truck drivers getting cheated on, just i knew one that felt like the shit because he had "hoes in different time zones" while he had a baby girl and wife at home.

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Radiant_Swan187@reddit

They probably get that idea from my wife's grandpa. Man had an ENTIRE different family a state away. Then there was my dad who had 5 wives who 2 of he met on the road. So maybe some there, idk. Then theres me with my wife that are nonmonogamous which some might call it consensual cheating lol

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Voxicles@reddit

I met my partner and current co-driver from a post I made here 3 years ago about my sad Thanksgiving dinner on the road. So it’s possible. It can work out well.

She’s around here somewhere… Hi, dear!

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GTOdriver04@reddit

I remember that post! Hell yeah. Happy for you!

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Voxicles@reddit

Thanks! 😊

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RambleOnRoads@reddit (OP)

Hey man, I'm glad it works for you, and I know plenty of folks who's goal it is to be a power couple out here team driving, but that's not for me, at all -- I would go fucking insane if I was stuck in a cab with someone else, romantic partner/love of my life or not. I'm a firm believer in "absence makes the heart grow fonder"

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Voxicles@reddit

Driving teams is tough, no doubt. Getting a good night/day sleep is difficult when your life is pretty much in someone else’s control. But you get used to it. (Rather, I got used to it). I keep the same rules with my girlfriend as I did with my trainees; when the sleeper current is closed, that’s your personal space.

Other romantic couples may do it differently, but this is what works for me. The way we run, we get across the country and back in 4 days and have 3 days off. If I need personal time, I’ve got time to have it.

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Ramzabeo@reddit

Im married so idk, but i did have a co driver when i first began that did have hook ups in a few cities, im not sure how many women go into the industry alone, i know most come with a SO already.

Honestly i think truckers are screwed in that department, if love is a priority to you id suggest getting some money saved up and changing industries, most relationships these days happen through work, and on trucking thats hardly ever going to happen

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kingsnow18@reddit

That's exactly my plan, hopefully by August I would have saved enough to do my masters and never drive an 18 wheeler again.

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Ramzabeo@reddit

You got this man, my plan is a hell of a lot more convulted but i think i'll be able to manage it.

just bought a house last year, I'm planning on working extra hard so i can keep putting all my money into the house, then when its fully paid off i'm going to either retire from trucking completely, or just work 1-2 weeks and take a month off, i wont need any money once the house is paid off.

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kingsnow18@reddit

Damn, how long do you reckon it's going to take? Good luck my brother!

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Ramzabeo@reddit

So i got the house at around 240k, i make 2250 before taxes so i take home around 1700, im my mortage is 2k a month, so every week im putting in an extra 1k, been doing it for a year now

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RoamingNomadSoul@reddit

Man I got girls in every area code yes even Alaska and Hawaii

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RambleOnRoads@reddit (OP)

Gross. Imagine bragging about having people everywhere but nobody to actually come home to. Weird flex to admit you're essentially just a rolling collection of one-night stands, but okay. 👍 like, tell me you’re incapable of building a real relationship without telling me you’re incapable of building a real relationship. 🚩

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Fun-Rebot@reddit

It’s something u do for a year to get to know someone, spend time with on ur days off then go local trucking otr is good for fast cash local is good for lifestyle habits

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RambleOnRoads@reddit (OP)

Nah. I've got no plans on ever going local, it doesn't appeal to me at all. OTR is in my blood, I'm in it for the adventure and constant change of scenery.

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Matlovestruck@reddit

Honestly this makes way more sense than most people think. Two drivers who both understand that a 'good week' means you made it home on time and didn't get screwed on a load have a way better foundation than someone dating a 9 to 5 who can't wrap their head around why you missed dinner again.

The logistics part is actually the fun challenge. If you're both running similar lanes, planning meetups at truck stops becomes like a little game. Grab dinner at the Petro, spend a 10 together when the routes line up. Not traditional dating but it works.

As for finding someone, yeah it's a needle in a haystack, but so is dating anywhere else. At least at a truck stop you already know the other person is okay with the lifestyle.

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true_canadian661@reddit

I met my now wife driving from Ontario to Georgia, I would stop at the truck stop near her place and she would pick me up to go on dates

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Last_Cable4726@reddit

So she was a trucker?

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19lunacrab65@reddit

I'm sure she worked at one of the truck stops. I used to work at a truck stop and every single one of those girls had a truck driver for a boyfriend. So did I. 🤣

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melovemelongtimee@reddit

So you’re saying flirting with truck stop workers I find attractive is the way to go? Most seem to be my age around 40’s.

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MarmotWorldOrder@reddit

I see a healthy mix. Some in their 20s to their 60s.

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melovemelongtimee@reddit

Awesome! I already gave one in mind that actually works where I live. She is always giving me flirting vibes. I would see her on a daily basis when I drove uber. I’m mostly likely going to do regional so that would help

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MarmotWorldOrder@reddit

There's one Love's in Illinois that only seems to be staffed by girls my age. It's always a nice time.

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true_canadian661@reddit

Nope, she is a scientist, we matched on bumble when I drove past and we went on a date the next time I drove down

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scottiethegoonie@reddit

Does she have any scientist friends?

You know, I'm something of a scientist myself.

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BingBongFyourWife@reddit

As a trucker I would never date a trucker

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RambleOnRoads@reddit (OP)

Why not?

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BingBongFyourWife@reddit

Idk man

I have this fantasy in my head that I will leave this job, find a “normal” one, and be able to meet someone “normal” and have a “normal” relationship

I shower once a week bro. I piss in bottles. I hate this job, but it’s the only way I can make enough money to live. Idk what else to do

So in my head, I’m only here temporarily. So I’ve put dating out of my mind. I don’t want to try a relationship again til I’m off the road

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unloader86@reddit

I feel like you just need some help with trip planning here. You should be able to get a shower more than once a week. Assuming you are a driver here in the United States.

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BingBongFyourWife@reddit

It’s a choice thing. My company fuels randomly so I don’t accumulate points or showers anywhere. Ohio turnpike has em for free. Spent $17 this morning for one

It is what it is

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LikwidHappiness@reddit

Bruh. Just ask someone you see fueling at whatever truck stop you're at and I can almost guarantee they'll get you a free shower. I would at least. The few times I've been stuck at a loves over night instead of a pilot and really needed a shower, that's what I have done. Have not been told no yet.

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Heather_Val@reddit

I would gladly give up a shower, unlimited is unlimited.

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Careful_Refuse9224@reddit

Because as a trucker he or she know what they’re capable of getting away with and saw how truckers who were in marriages or relationships could be.

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RambleOnRoads@reddit (OP)

I mean, I guess if you're doing shady shit then it's easy to believe the worst in others - it's why the person cheating on their SO is always accusing their partner of it. Thankfully I'm not out here being a complete fucking tool so it's easy for me to trust that other drivers are also out here just grinding for a paycheck and hoping to meet someone they align with. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Frogspoison@reddit

Possible, sure. Good number of trucker couple team drivers out there as well.

Keep in mind that women truck drivers get a ton of attention from other truck drivers though. And only 13% of CDL holders in the US are men - thats 1 outta 9 more or less.

An app specific for truckers and those who wanna tag-along would be nice.

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Silent-Room-4987@reddit

13% of cdl truckers are men? Is this a typo or have you been to a truck stop lately? Bc i think you meant women. But even then I'd put that 13% closer to 5% imo

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DelawhereRider@reddit

That number is likely because a high percentage of CDL holders in the USA are school bus drivers, the majority of which are women. Most will never drive a truck or even leave their own county, but they hold a Class B CDL (or better).

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WallaWallaby011@reddit

I love backing trailers into tight spots. The harder the more fun! 😂

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Silent-Room-4987@reddit

That makes more sense. I forgot about busses.

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Voxicles@reddit

Truckersonly dot com? 😆

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Pam_P00vey@reddit

I am home daily, but I think my issue in finding someone is I don't like tattoos, smokers, and I like talking politics, not the working hours.

Maybe it's selfish of me, but it is nice if work runs late, I only have to worry about my corgi's needs being met before I head to sleep.

I think if you can meet someone whom you click with in or outside trucking, wont hold your work hours against you.

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AaronTuplin@reddit

I dated a night shift nurse for a while. That worked out for a while, but she got promoted and her hours and days off changed and we couldn't make it work.

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duhrun@reddit

Go gay and park in party row, install cb tune into channel 22, click mic three times, have red interior light on.

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Some-Criticism-6511@reddit

Just finished a hookup from Luvveli and it was exactly right. Matched someone on the same casual level, met up quick and there was no awkwardness, just good chemistry.

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Valhalla_Jester@reddit

Just finished a hookup from Luvveli and it was exactly right. Matched someone on the same casual level, met up quick and there was no awkwardness, just good chemistry.'

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25_Unknown_Devices@reddit

Nah. Idk. The nastiest I’ve ever lived was when I was full time otr after a year in. And that was with my partner riding. We both got so depressed.

Literally the main reason I work locally now. That and food. It took me a full 2 years before I’d touch fast food again.

I don’t think I’ll ever commit to going otr again, let alone trying to date while otr. Just sounds like an insecurity breeding nightmare.

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Player2orNot@reddit

Piss.in.a.bottle.com

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MustangMark83@reddit

Date other drivers? Truckers are 99% men and the 1% that are women are usually lesbian

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GreyGhost878@reddit

It's 11% women now and the majority of the women at my company are straight.

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schiza-clausen@reddit

Find a partner and tell them to get their CDL

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nevrfastalwysfurious@reddit

my thoughts exactly! plus spend time together on hometime :-)

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Alarming_Star_6549@reddit

I got lucky and a fellow driver introduced me to the safety lady at his former employer. We dated for awhile and she kinda moved me in on my weekend resets. It worked out and now we're married. Its not always an easy thing but thats life. And we've both already have kids from former marriages.

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wispyhurr@reddit

I’m a female long haul truck driver and that’s the dream. Would love to find someone like-minded out here who doesn’t want or have kids. There are a few cuties at my company but we don’t cross paths enough.

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MidLifeChanger@reddit

The average age for a female entering trucking is 40. Not saying that is bad--would be fine for me if I were single--but that likely doesn't help younger male drivers wanting to start a family.

https://landline.media/study-reveals-shifting-truck-driver-demographics/

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Tiatake@reddit

My boyfriend and I are both truckers. I’m a gamer on my down time and we met online 10 years ago. He’s always been fascinated with trucking and because I’m also a trainer, he moved up here and I trained him to drive. We work for different companies and I’m a night driver and he’s day hours. It works out because we’re not too terribly young and neither of us are out there trying to get too friendly with anyone. We’re both pretty introverted. When we have time off together we take advantage of it and hang out or go out. It’s usually a couple days every couple weeks. Plus we have portable WiFi and laptops if we want to play together. We usually only play online with each other still after all these years.

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djg253@reddit

My lady is actually a driver as well. We met in our home state, became friends and got to know eachother before we chose to enter a relationship. We work at different companies as of now, but since we are both OTR there is definitely times where we cross paths OTR, or can trip plan our routes to be able to take a 10 together or just get food if we are short on time. We schedule home time around the same time which also gives us a chance to see each other. With both of us being in the same career field, understanding how our career fields are, and the challenges that come with it, it isn't a issue for us because we have that understanding. Communication is also important. Good luck out there and I hope this post can help out in some way. Safe travels Drivers!

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RambleOnRoads@reddit (OP)

Okay, see, this gives me hope, cuz that's pretty much what I'm hoping for. Like, I don't want someone who wants to be a team driving couple, I'm wanting for each of us to maintain our own individual trucking careers and enjoy our paths crossing out on the road and maybe occasionally catch a 34 together.

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djg253@reddit

It can be done driver! My advice is to not rush into a relationship though. Take some time to get to know the person before you decide to make that commitment. You can do it!

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StoneyDan2499@reddit

I think best case scenario would be meeting a trucker girl who wants to team drive. Y’all would never be apart and would both make more as a team. I’d love to do it if I could meet someone. Alternatively, if your company allows passengers you could meet a girl on a dating site who wants to travel with you and is cool with living in the truck. I’m a brand new truck driver but I’ve already thought this over, I’m never dating a girl while I’m out on the road unless she’s with me. To many trust issues.

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RambleOnRoads@reddit (OP)

Sounds like that's what would work best for you. Personally, I'd fucking hate having someone in my truck 24/7 - at least in the real world if you're living together then you can get space from one another by going to another room or heading out somewhere for a bit.

I don't need to have a partner who spends all their time with me in order to trust them or feel secure in the relationship - if they're the type that's found to fuck around on me when I'm not around then I don't need them in my life anyways, and I'm not scared to trust folks cuz I'm a trustworthy person myself, and I trust that I'll be just fucking fine without them in my life.

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lkg469@reddit

meeting might be possible. keeping a long distance relationship might be possible. Try running team and being together 24/7 for a couple weeks. good luck.

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USS_peepee@reddit

My girlfriend and I hit it off at first because I’m a driver and she was a freight broker at the time. Not for me or any of my stuff, but just in general so at least she understood the industry and what I do.

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TRexDriver@reddit

Im a single female truck driver and I have started to talk/ flirt with a freight broker from another company. It's the same way with me. At least we have a little bit to talk about

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corpsebrigade@reddit

Truckers only dot com. Someone with coding knowledge should claim the domain and build on it. I bet it would take off fairly well. Hell you could even make it a paid subscription dating website. Anyway, good luck on your search for love driver. I hope you find your person.

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Islanderwithwings@reddit

Become an owner operator and you'll have all the time and options in the world.

I live the life of a bachelor and free agent. My model is that I'll work 6 months minimum, then spend the rest of the 6 months traveling overseas and live life like a king in cheap countries like Vietnam or Thailand.

I make just a bit 300k a year as an o/o for a private fleet/private shipper. My low risk, low yield investments pay half of my income. And I'm working towards where my investments can finally pay my entire income for the year.

If you're w2 or company employee. You don't have that options. Dating is going to be the biggest time waster. So work towards the goal of making the money first.

My lifestyle is 20yrs in the making. It didn't happen overnight. But what I do see is a majority of young people living life in reverse. Youth is wasted in the young if you subscribe to the idea that you're supposed to be living work life balance in your 20's and 30's.

20's-30's is your income producing years. Don't F it up.

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Blackdogtrucking@reddit

Doing OTR and trying to date, ooof. Possible but rare. Moving to regional or local would be better. Either way good luck to you OP 🙏

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kingsnow18@reddit

I mean, in theory sounds good but I see female truckers once a month in a truck stop and most of the time they're scared of any human interaction (I could imagine because of other weirdos) or they're traveling with their partners. Also, for me personally I don't think I could find my type of woman out here. I would love to be proof wrong but so far no luck.

I've been through 2 breakups while OTR, it's horrible and I don't think I would ever date again while doing this job.

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RambleOnRoads@reddit (OP)

Lol, we could call it "Breaker 69 - a dating app where 'Long Distance' is the default setting." 🤣

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kingsnow18@reddit

Haha I figured, all good

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Kkalemauser@reddit

If you’re a female trucker or a gay man, the trucking world is your oyster.

It’s easier to get into a relationship with a woman and then she decides to get her CDL, than finding a “female trucker”.

That’s why you go local. So you get somewhat of a life.

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shadybays@reddit

I met my current partner in CDL school. It’s possible, but it’s not easy

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19lunacrab65@reddit

I started working at a truck stop back in 1997. There were probably 10 to 12 women that came and went in the 4 years I worked there. Every single one of those women that worked there, had one of the truck drivers that came through to fuel, wait for a load, or had a layover, as a boyfriend. Some ended up marrying them or having children by them. Most of the truck drivers were already married. The TD's had a family in their home town, and where we live. It was easy to do because where I live, is on the border of Mexico and most of the produce comes through our port so, it was their regular route. In 1998 I got my CDL, but my children were too young for me to go OTR. When they were old enough, I started going OTR. I'M 60 now, and I'm still single. I think the reason why is because of the experience of seeing all of these truck drivers being unfaithful to their family, back home. Also, most men are not going to like the idea that their partner is gone for one, two, or 3 weeks at a time. I have never met anybody on the road, that I have spent enough time with, to have a hook up or make a life with. After I drive my 11 hours, all I want to do is put my PJs on and relax. Also, being a solo female truck driver, I'm trying to stay safe out here and not announce to everybody that I am alone. So, in my opinion, the only way this would work out, is if the TD is only gone a couple of days a week, or if they are OTR, would be that they would team drive with their significant other.

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RichCypher@reddit

Otr is the killer of all relationships. If you want to have friends, a so, a family, anything, then going local is the way. I honestly don't know how family people survive otr being away from so and kids for weeks or months at a time. While I was otr I just gave up on dating and focused on work. Started dating again once I went local.

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Medium_Chain_9329@reddit

Broooo just fall in love with your dispatch. Easy.

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skeletons_asshole@reddit

Somehow it worked out for me - started talking to my now gf during training at my first job, I'd visit when I could, and eventually she hopped in the truck with me and we spent a little over 5 months driving all over the place. Now we have a home and a life together and I'm home every weekend, but that's not really enough, so I'm looking for local work.

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Gilgamesh2000000@reddit

If you got game it ain’t difficult to line ‘em up no matter what you do

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TruckerBiscuit@reddit

My girl gets it but she's loved me most of her life so she's highly motivated.

The road gets in a lifer like a sailor loves the sea. She's going to miss you. You're going to miss her. It has to happen, which makes it easier to bear.

IMHO marriage to a trucker is great for two independent people who need space sometimes. Homecoming after time apart is a snugglefest.

A caveat: there's no fucking way in hell I'd be OTR if my kids weren't grown. Nothing is worth missing being a father.

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