What is an acceptable amount of time to wait between being offered a cup of tea and tea being given?
Posted by CnocMhairi@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 145 comments
My partner keeps asking if I’d like a cup of tea, half an hour later still no tea. What’s an appropriate length of time to wait before asking about where that tea is?
Euphoric_Rough_5245@reddit
Enough time for the person to go into the kitchen, boil the kettle (and this includes adding water if needed) get the cups/mugs from the cupboard and “stewage” of the teabag then milk added so about 8-10 minutes.
ShadowBannedSkyRu1e@reddit
Up to 5 minutes
FantasticWeasel@reddit
Agree. My husband doesn't drink hot drinks so I just make my own but was at a friend's house recently and when the offered tea hadn't arrived at a reasonable speed my friend asked their partner 'do I have to track you on the app then go and look for my tea in the neighbours gardens??'.
worldturning29@reddit
This.
Cardabella@reddit
A person could die of thirst...
Watchkeys@reddit
Not sure why you're asking Reddit when it's your partner's answer you need. What did they say when you asked them?
OdinForce22@reddit
Reddit is instant access to an agony aunt these days.
Watchkeys@reddit
lol it's not a psychological analysis, it's literally 'Ask the person you need the answer from'. It's the opposite of what an agony aunt would do, really.
Anyway, what was your point? That we're not meant to make helpful suggestions?
OdinForce22@reddit
My point is that people posting these questions about their partner are ridiculous.
What happened to talking to each other?
CnocMhairi@reddit (OP)
I have talked to my partner. We have different views. Hence why I’m here to get a general census. You seem to be under the impression I’ve done this covertly without my partners knowledge, but alas, it was their idea to post here.
It’s not a big issue, it’s just tea. Sometimes, for fun, it’s interesting to see how other people live.
Watchkeys@reddit
Dunno. Good job you're not in charge. imagine where the world would be lol
GrabASnickersHun@reddit
Your response doesn't even make sense.
What has pointing out that partners should talk to each other got to do with someone being in charge?
Watchkeys@reddit
Don't worry if you don't understand. It's really not a problem.
R00ts_Dreamland@reddit
First day on the internet?
Watchkeys@reddit
Aw, little buddy! Thought I was amongst adults, sorry!
Respond_Sometimes@reddit
Maybe their partner is scrolling Reddit instead of making tea and this is a long winded attempt to get them to hurry up.
Inevitable-Debt4312@reddit
In this case - half an hour.
powpow198@reddit
5 minutes
JSSM_@reddit
I have come here to inform anyone reading that my boyfriend sat and read all of the comments to me in a very serious voice... About 20 minutes after I forgot I offered to make tea.
I suppose the answer is 20 minutes...
And if you are Dan reading this, make your own tea ✨
alferret@reddit
After waiting a suitable short amount of time <5 mins get up off your chair, huff and puff a little, ask your partner if they'd like a tea. Be the bigger person, make yourself a tea and them.
Onlyfangz@reddit
In my opinion the offer shouldn't even be made until the kettle is boiling
Pretend_Ad4147@reddit
Ten minutes max
Lost_Impression3028@reddit
5 mins max and I’d say “fuck me, where’s the tea gone” or “can’t hear the kettle”. I joke a lot, but if you can’t be like that with your partner then you’re boring
Former_Elk_7690@reddit
Instantly or doom
Fabulous_Coast_8108@reddit
Painful dilemma there. I'm often awaiting a leaf tea from my good wife after repeated petitions.
PKblaze@reddit
Tbh my partner has ADHD so literally 5 minutes because she probably forgot.
Some_Ad6507@reddit
I can’t help but think of the consent analogy
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34656527?app-referrer=deep-link
gander8622@reddit
"The law is very clear. Sex without consent is rape," said Det Ch Insp Justin Fletcher.
That's quite a change in career from being Mr. Tumble. I wonder what the makaton is for that?
dazed1984@reddit
About 5 minutes, 10 max, why are they asking if they’re literally not about to boil the kettle
WatercressUpset8637@reddit
Omg, I offered my husband a cuppa and hour and a half ago. This just reminded me
kifflington@reddit
10 minutes then, "About that tea - were you just conducting a survey?"
(Sounds like partner is hoping you'll say you'll make it).
Vegetable_River_8553@reddit
Haha love this! Much better than a passive aggressive ‘I’ll go and do the tea then shall I!?’ Can you provide me with solutions to all my annoying interactions? Lol
prjones4@reddit
"Have you gone to China for that tea?!" Also works
misanthreddit@reddit
Best answer to 'where's my tea' I've ever heard.
Additional_Plant_539@reddit
It's very very British
CptCave1@reddit
Oh man I am going to use that in the office this week.
How old, dull and boring I have become.
SpaceWomble64@reddit
Fantastic sarcasm 🙂
ihavetakenthebiscuit@reddit
Known in our household as tea amnesia.
Crunchie64@reddit
Amteasia?
ihavetakenthebiscuit@reddit
That's pretty good! Tea Amnesia has its own theme song at this point though 😄
Crunchie64@reddit
Link to the full version on YouTube or I call BS.
Lyrics posted here at the very minimum.
ihavetakenthebiscuit@reddit
Haha, ironically the lyrics do change a fair bit because i can't remember what they are. It always starts with a chorus of TEA AMNESIA! TEA AMNESIA!
Interesting_Fish309@reddit
5 mins lol dont offer if u ain't going follow through. I say it to my fella on the rare occasions he takes forever. He's actually my tea fairy. Hes so good at keeping my brews topped up haha
DeadBallDescendant@reddit
This is my problem with expensive hotels. They're too posh to give you your own kettle but it can take half an hour (plus a tip) to get a cup of tea to your room.
nickgardia@reddit
5 minutes
Exita@reddit
My wife keeps doing this - offers a drink whilst I’m cooking.
It sometimes turns up before dinner is actually on the table, but not often…
lungbong@reddit
Enough time to do the one other job you were doing when you offered up to a maximum of 10 minutes.
regulator202@reddit
Imo you shouldn't ask the question unless you're within a few mins of starting the process
craigybacha@reddit
1 minute. Any more I'm making it myself.
Responsible-Link5739@reddit
Or pretend to hear something and ask, "Is that the sound of the kettle not boiling"?
Responsible-Link5739@reddit
When you're asked and you've accepted the offer, set a five-minute timer on your phone. When it goes off, say, "Ahhhh, it's the tea-timer" and grin cheeky at partner ..
Ethelred_Unread@reddit
If a tea is offered then preparation should start immediately.
You can ask in increasing levels of passive aggression after a grace period of around 5 minutes.
"How's that tea coming along?"
"Did you make that tea?"
"It would be nice if we had something to drink"
Etc etc
Finally
"I'm spitting feathers here mate, what the actual fuck?"
Responsible-Link5739@reddit
Did we run out of water for the kettle?
Wetkittennoses@reddit
My late gran wouldn’t even wait for one to be offered, she’d just say “I could do with a tea.” 😂
CHISMAY@reddit
Or my personal favourite,..
".............corr my mouths as dry as a nuns cunt" 🤣🤣
ESCF1F2F3F4F3F2F1ESC@reddit
I'd go as far as saying the kettle should already have started boiling before the offer is made, so as to avoid the sort of crushing disappointment OP is experiencing
Ancient-Awareness115@reddit
Someone is splashing the cash by boiling more water than may be needed
theabominablewonder@reddit
“God, I’m a bit parched..“
“Do you need help with that tea?”
“Get in the kitchen and make the tea you daft cow”
Any of those should work
Neat-Cartoonist-9797@reddit
🤣 👏👏👏
ownworstenemy38@reddit
Did you go to fucking China?!?
Lost-Actuary-2395@reddit
Evidently not, otherwise you'd be back with the fucking tea.
Ethelred_Unread@reddit
This is a classic in my house
Quacking_Plums@reddit
“I’m still waiting for that last one”
AEG1610@reddit
Just skip to the end for repeat offenders
jfk9514@reddit
I imagined someone just saying them one after the other as if they gone mad
neonkisa@reddit
I mean... should be don asap imo 😅
TheNorthernBaron@reddit
Depends if they come in and sit down.... instantly. If they are still pottering around I'd give five or ten seconds grace
dismaldunc@reddit
5 mins tops.. tho TBH I am so impatient I just make it myself
CuratorOfNoise@reddit
Depends. Chances are if I like you enough to invite you round, you’ll know my memory is like a sieve, so mocking the lack of tea after 5-10 minutes after I’ve offered it is entirely acceptable unless we’re both doing something which has stopped it.
Superimplicate@reddit
Make dry rasping noises until the situation is resolved.
toonmad@reddit
"Is your kettle broken?"
Banes_Addiction@reddit
Up to 10 minutes. Kettle takes a few minutes to boil, I think optimal steeping time for leaf is about 5 minutes, there will always be a bit of slippage unless you're standing perched over it just waiting for it to be finished.
WebDisasters@reddit
If it’s your partner, then 5 minutes at the very maximum.
If you’re at someone else’s house, then I would ask immediately after you get in the car to drive home.
Dissidant@reddit
Its a cheeky way of asking you to make one
hengehanger@reddit
Well, it takes five minutes to make a cup of tea, so five minutes.
genxerrr@reddit
I think she wants you to make it.
Beggatron14@reddit
So my kids are mental, 6yo boy autistic and adhd, can’t leave your sight when he’s awake, typical 8yo girl too, my partner drinks a cup in the morning and that’s it cause of the day she has. I don’t drink tea or coffee!
So when people are around and it’s after 9am, offering a tea or coffee just does not come into my head, and as my partner doesn’t always have a chance to have one, she doesn’t think about it either. So yeah, as an answer to your question I have no idea!
But I encourage anyone visiting to just ask me cause I will not remember to offer!
Sea-Still5427@reddit
How did they phrase it? It sounds like they could be trying to manipulate you into making them a cup of tea.
LongjumpingLab3092@reddit
How well do you know your partner?
If I offer a cup of tea and it hasn't materialised within 5 minutes, I switched the kettle on and got distracted by something else. Reminder appreciated.
snowdrop0901@reddit
Usually its oops i went on my phone as the kettle was boiling then needed to pee then needed to poop...then just sat on the toilet on the phone for 10 minutes.
Appropriate-Falcon75@reddit
Or the it is brewing and then I got distracted.
I will appreciate the reminder and then probably apologise for forgetting it.
thecatwhisker@reddit
Yeah. Occasionally one of us will offer tea, get distracted etc and no tea is actually made - but seeing as tea does normally appear after the offer this is the point just bring it up like ‘So, about that tea?’
If the tea never appears and that’s standard practice then that’s probably them hoping you’ll be the one to make it and they are actually passive aggressively asking you to make it.
Vegetable_River_8553@reddit
Oh yeah this is me!
Capital-Novel8133@reddit
I recon they are wanting you too make it . They offer so they sound nice but actually they want you to make it.
Braylien@reddit
Fancy a cuppa?
I’d love one!
Walks off and starts making it.
If this doesn’t happen immediately I’m wondering what went wrong.
photism78@reddit
Your partner has ADHD.
CompleteWhittle@reddit
Isn't it Teamentia? I work with old geezers who definitely suffer from teamentia. They will even start to make it, wander off and let it stew for ages until its cold and so strong you could strip pine with it.
Suitable-Tough5877@reddit
I have ADHD but if it's time for a cup of tea, nothing distracts me until the task is completed.
photism78@reddit
I wish I could say the same for me 😂😅
Impossible_Pie4091@reddit
Simple, I'll have one when you have one. This will kill off any further Oh i do loads of things for you and you'll get a cup when they make theirs.
BusyBeeBridgette@reddit
if the tea has not arrived after 5 minutes of being offered. I will pop into the kitchen to see what the hold up is.
JeffSergeant@reddit
They asked of youd like one, not if they'd like you to make you one.
themflyingjaffacakes@reddit
Amteasia, the sudden loss of short term memory associated with placing a teabag in hot water for 2 minutes and only remembering 30 minutes later.
Ok-Middle8656@reddit
30 minutes I’d be filling out the divorce papers.
EntertainmentNo4422@reddit
I don’t even ask my partner. If I’m making one anyway, I just make two!
Redeemed_Mess84@reddit
Is it just to you, or do they do it to visitors?
If it’s to everyone it might just be a concentration thing. Otherwise it might be a passive-aggressive hint.
Altruistic_Ad5444@reddit
I'd say ten minutes sans any big distractions. I often refuse at home on the grounds it's less stressful just to serve myself than to wait ages.
Successful_Movie_723@reddit
Ask if they have got any water. Then they'll remember the tea
Alternative_Map_6531@reddit
T <= 5 + (x * digestives)
Brilliant_Sound_5565@reddit
30mins? Just say it's like a desert on here and they might get the hint, or maybe not
pgnlzbth@reddit
Sometimes (often!) I ask my husband if he’d like a cup of tea, in hopes that he’ll make one 😂 it usually works. Maybe your partner is doing the same?!
newtobitcoin111@reddit
Walk to kitchen and prep 1 minute Kettle to boil 3 minutes Tea to brew 3 minutes Milk/sugar/stir 1 minute Walk back out 1 minute 1 minute miscellaneous
So 10 minutes!
shadowmoses4726@reddit
people usually ask just before they are about to put the kettle on, no point asking if ya aren’t gonna make it😀
Quacking_Plums@reddit
My wife tends to ask after she has already put the kettle on, with just enough water for her drink. 🙄
I always respond with “is that a genuine offer or an offer-not-offer?” and she inevitably grins sheepishly. We’ve been married 20 years and I still love her to bits. 🥰
Martinonfire@reddit
Your partner is asking if you would like a cup of tea, they are not suggesting that they will make you one but rather hinting that you should make yourself a cup of tea and while you are at it make them one.
NotMyUsualChoice@reddit
Lawyer up 🤷
Uncle_Zardoz@reddit
People are being generous. After thirty seconds they get the *look*... if there's thirty more seconds, I'm saying something.
Rubberfootman@reddit
5 minutes, then start making croaky throat noises to indicate how dangerously parched you are.
Crazyblondie11@reddit
I’d say 5 mins, then threaten to withdraw conjugal rights and see whether this helps speeden up the process.
newtobitcoin111@reddit
Kettle to boil 2/3 minutes, tea to brew 3 minutes, a minute to get to the kitchen so about 8 /9 minutes max!
anemoneatnight@reddit
After two minutes, I'd say something like, milk and sugar please/black please/red mug please. Just as a gentle (=passive aggressive) reminder. After 5 mins, it would be 'did you say you were making tea?' After 7 mins, I'd probably make myself a cup while tsking the entire time. If I had to wait half an hour, I would probably have moved on from the entire idea by then
Guiseppe_Martini@reddit
Half an hour is absolutely milking it, I'd say.
Programmer-Severe@reddit
"Do you need a hand with that brew?"
No-Cherry-6678@reddit
The time it takes to boil a kettle and brew said Tea, not ready? Don't ask
zxo-zxo-zxo@reddit
Tea should only be offered during the process of going to a kettle, whether seated and about to stand up, opening a door, leaving a room or sticking your head around a door.
Tea should not be offered during the process of sitting down. Whether walking to a chair or staying sat down.
fluffypuppycorn@reddit
starts eating biscuit
"You know what would go nice with this biscuit?...A cuppa tea"
Gary_BBGames@reddit
I’ll regularly offer tea and then forget what I was going to do. Happy to be reminded as I probably wanted one myself.
Honest_Presence_9619@reddit
It's your partner. Just give him a nudge with your foot and say 'you getting the tea, then?'
This isn't something you need advice about from strangers lmao
migo_81@reddit
With my girlfriend, she could offer and it can be anywhere between 5 mins and 5 hours.
cvde82@reddit
Asking the real questions!!
Glum-Entrepreneur-16@reddit
If homework my wife then Aa few minutes, I’ll check if the kettle is on and if not will tie it on myself and give a reminder. Family or friends get a few more minutes the onto the reminder.
yearsofpractice@reddit
15 minutes. It takes ten minutes from start (confirmation of tea desire) to finish (tea tools tidied away) to make a decent cup of tea. 5 minutes of general faffing is acceptable if making fit someone else.
StrengthForeign3512@reddit
You have about 60 seconds and if I can’t hear the kettle then there will be questions
Orlando22tn@reddit
5mins
Curious_Peter@reddit
depends,
do you have a kettle, or an instant boiling water tap (Quooker)
Kettle - the time it take between a Yes please, and the time it takes to fill, and boil the kettle. The pour water over the tabag let it steep for a couple of mins, then add appropriate milk and get the good biscuit tin out should take no longer than the advert break in the middle of a soap or show (so max 5 - 8 mins)
Quooker - Slightly quicker as not waiting for kettle to boil, so maximum 5 mins.
This assumes, 2 cups straight out the cupboard, teabags are in the container, and a fresh box not needing to be opened.
Haunting_Cell_8876@reddit
"It's ever so dry in here!" Usually does the trick.
Miserable-Ease-3744@reddit
If its your partner, within 10 minutes. If you are being hosted, never
Fresh-Dot5824@reddit
Approximately three minutes thirty seconds give or take a second or two
Tastetherainbow_2016@reddit
After five minutes I’d be like “So is the kettle broken?”
Mammoth-Passion-413@reddit
20 mins after you should have got up and done it yourself imho
LifeProject365@reddit
Depends if they are running round like a blue arsed fly while you sit back with your feet up
theamazingtypo@reddit
10 mins. That's giving them time to stop fannying about and time to make it.
DevonSkittles@reddit
5 minutes, 10 minutes at a stretch if they’re busy. If you offer someone a cup of tea there’s an implied assumption that this will be made promptly
Defiant_Practice5260@reddit
Go with a "Darlin' where's me tea? I'm spittin' feathers over 'ere"
Haveyoushatmyself@reddit
No time to wait at all. Thats enough time for 2 cups.
ahairyhoneymonsta@reddit
Half hour? Time to start packing your stuff
ellemeno_@reddit
“Are you going to Asia to get the tea?” is how my mum indicates she’s been waiting too long (never if I offer - I usually have the kettle on as I offer!).
SpaceWomble64@reddit
Start looking around the room like you’ve lost something. Keep doing it until they ask what you are looking for. “That cup of tea that you were making “.
FewAnybody2739@reddit
If they don't start making it immediately then something's gone wrong. They're basically asking if they should put extra water in the kettle.
Rough-Sprinkles2343@reddit
20 mins and I’ll be asking where’s my te
Immorals1@reddit
To be fair they asked if you'd like one, didn't say they'd make it
Calm_Opportunity_919@reddit
Can't u get up and make tea or say shall make it for us both .. Maybe say where's that tea u offered ?
Calm_Opportunity_919@reddit
There's no given time
blurredlynes@reddit
Depends how long between them entering the kitchen and/or leaving the kitchen without any tea. I'd definitely have poked them sooner than half an hour myself 😂
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