Is the word “Mate” a unisex form of address?

[-]

Worldly_Wafer_6635@reddit

Worked in restaurants for years if appropriate the safe terms I would go for, that I would say are gender neutral are:-

Singular - Pal

Group - Guys

[-]

Illustrious_Tap_6605@reddit

Yeah they are unisex to me. mate, bro, my guy and my man are all things I’ve used for both genders

[-]

Traditional-Leg-1122@reddit

Men call men mate.

Women call women mate.

Men and women can call each other mate but usually they would actually be mates.

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

Well that's bonkers. Mate just means friend. Why would it be for men only, unless you're saying you can't imagine having a female friend. In which case consider my eyebrows raised

[-]

CraftyPancake@reddit

just sounds odd when its said to a woman 🤷‍♂️

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

Nope. Might wanna reflect on why you think that

[-]

Well, I don't think that can be the reason. Because if your problem with the word "mate" was that it's not "proper English", you'd say you don't like that word full stop, not that it sounds odd when said to a woman.

[-]

CraftyPancake@reddit

it does sound odd 🤷🏼‍♂️

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

As I've said, I'd encourage you to do some introspection and figure out why that is.

[-]

CraftyPancake@reddit

omg, it's just being polite.

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

Keep going, you're nearly there

[-]

CraftyPancake@reddit

Not sure what baggage you’re carrying around trying to place on other people

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

Ok

[-]

Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

No it isn't mate

[-]

TrashbatLondon@reddit

Sorry that you don’t have mates

[-]

Sad-Razzmatazz8047@reddit

Not all use it. But I have actual female mates who call me mate all the time

[-]

tetlee@reddit

To add to that list, I call my dog mate

[-]

Swansboy@reddit

Yea its a unisex term for someone you don't know. Its mush in Swansea, but in Welsh Valleys myther, RCT, Torfein.

[-]

Fean0r_@reddit

My best mate's family all call each other mate and I find that really weird.

[-]

Disastrous-Emu2013@reddit

Yeah it’s universal I’m also female And use it

[-]

Logical_Flounder6455@reddit

Its pretty much everywhere. Im in the north east and its isnt gender specific here either, nor anywhere else I've been. Except maybe whitby

[-]

ABChow000@reddit

North west too, pretty much most of the UK.

“ You okay mate “ to a guy, or a woman of the same age.

“ You alright love “ to an elder woman

[-]

kernowgringo@reddit

Cornwall, I use it for everyone, helps mask how bad I am at remembering names

[-]

Hepzibah87@reddit

Same here, moved from PZ to the midlands and blokes got funny at being called mate 😅

[-]

Rocky-bar@reddit

Where's PZ?

[-]

Hepzibah87@reddit

Penzance

[-]

Snoo63@reddit

All I know about that place is that pirates were there, and now there's a sleeper train I think?

[-]

78Anonymous@reddit

a person in a local store calls everyone 'doll' .. I cringe every time

[-]

Dedward5@reddit

What about old ladies that call men “bird”

[-]

Disastrous-Emu2013@reddit

Yessss! Haha I also use darling as gender neutral because I’ve got the memory of a sieve

[-]

Zealousideal_Pop3121@reddit

Yup. Se London here and I mate everyone

[-]

JustAnotherFEDev@reddit

I'm Northern, it's universal here, too. I use it a lot, it's just a nice universal greeting that means I see us all as equal, I guess.

[-]

Theres3ofMe@reddit

Scouser female here, deffo not just a South East London thing 😀👍

[-]

TheLadyTaxiDriver@reddit (OP)

I’m in south west

[-]

Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

I'm in Bristol and always used it for everyone

[-]

-The-Superb-Owl-@reddit

Manchester here - unisex and use commonly

[-]

tomwaitsgoatee@reddit

Chester here and I call everyone mate

[-]

W00GA@reddit

i get emotional when a female calls me mate.

its feels like an unexpected pat on the back.

dunno why

[-]

PrimalTripping@reddit

Calling people mate absolutely isn’t a London thing

[-]

Disastrous-Emu2013@reddit

Ok, it was a suggestion, not a fact

[-]

PrimalTripping@reddit

Was just pointing out it was wrong. Reading back it was more aggressive than I meant it to be

[-]

L0st1nspac3withp1ut0@reddit

Same - although I’ve had the same with men, I used to have to do video calls for work (I work in a male dominated industry, with mostly male buyers) when I would answer they would obviously be used to men answering they’d automatically say “hello mate” before the video connected, then the video would connect and some of the men would apologise and say something like “oh sorry love” lol.

[-]

Downtown-BT-83@reddit

Same here & I’m from SE London.

[-]

Hyperion2023@reddit

Same, London and I’ll use it to more or less everyone

[-]

Interview-Kitchen@reddit

From Yorkshire and it's used for anyone though a few older people would say "love"

[-]

hhfugrr3@reddit

Definitely feels unisex now. When I was young, mate was exclusively for men - I don't remember even hearing a woman say it and they wouldn't be called mate. All of the terms used to address women back then feel very dated now and I rarely hear them anymore.

[-]

GreenLion777@reddit

Bang on observation, i agree. Never used to be used by females, but now it is, by some. As a guy, very rarely get called mate by a lassie, but yeah it does happen now

[-]

Sad-Razzmatazz8047@reddit

It’s for sure a relative new (20 years?) language option for women. I remember when it began to become a thing as at first it did kind of confuse me when I first heard my female friends using it. Totally normal now

[-]

leah_amelia@reddit

Personally, I don’t like being called ‘mate’ being trans. Feels very masculine-coded to me. Maybe it’s more of a issue though

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

I also buy my weed from a female lady woman and not once have ever called her anything than mate hahaha. I dont think ive ever actually addressed her by her name and its been 6 years 😅

[-]

Woollen53@reddit

I'm a female lady woman, everytime my postie delivers my prescription he calls me bud. It always stands out to me bcoz of what is in the package lol

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

Bahahaha postie knows!!!

[-]

Previous_Pie_9918@reddit

I like female lady woman better than mate.

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

Dont we all but ive not got the appropriate parts 🫩

[-]

Happy_Chief@reddit

Mate and dude and pal are unisex in my opinion.

[-]

exbritinsuomi@reddit

Mate can be, dude is not

[-]

Idontunderstandmost@reddit

Dude and pal are defo male! I’d be a bit weirded out as a woman if someone called me dude 🤣

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

Absolutely not. Dude and guy are both synonyms for man/male person. They can be, and often are, used for women but they're far from unisex.

Mate and pal are synonyms for friend. Friends can be men or women. In no way are they gendered terms

[-]

Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

Hah I call girls "dude" if I know them. I hope they don't find it weird😂

[-]

Idontunderstandmost@reddit

Yeah. If you’re their friend and they know you I’m sure it makes sense in context don’t worry lol

[-]

TankFoster@reddit

I call my wee girl pal and my wee boy mate. I don't call either of them dude though.

Makes you think.

[-]

Idontunderstandmost@reddit

The UK has many, many accents dialects and little cute words - it’s nice to hear how everyone is different on this thread.

[-]

Time_Entertainer_319@reddit

PAL isn’t male but dude is

[-]

Idontunderstandmost@reddit

I wouldn’t be offended as a woman to be called pal, as a Yorkshire resident, I’d be weirded out. 🤷‍♀️

If you wanna call people pal, that’s fine. I’m just giving my experience of how we talk where I am from.

[-]

Happy_Chief@reddit

Nah dude, its all loosey goosey, ylnow?

[-]

Idontunderstandmost@reddit

Haha. I do know and I suppose sometimes it makes sense … just unusual, I guess. I’d say “love”.

[-]

Happy_Chief@reddit

I've seen people reprimanded by HR for "love" being misogynistic - so I steer clear. Not worth the hassle.

[-]

Idontunderstandmost@reddit

Well, I wouldn’t use “love” in the office - I’d use it in a bar or a taxi or something like that. Op asked about being a taxi driver, right?

[-]

oojiflip@reddit

Guys too

[-]

glasgowgeg@reddit

Context dependant.

"How many guys have you had sex with?" is not gender neutral.

[-]

Jack1ngton@reddit

I met a guy last week who calls his elderly mum mate. Was weird

[-]

hdhxuxufxufufiffif@reddit

Was he Latvian? I believe the Latvian for mum is mate.

[-]

Unhappy_Storm_40@reddit

Better than calling your elderly mate mum.

[-]

qqqqtip@reddit

my mum calls me bro

[-]

Rastapopolos-III@reddit

dueling banjos intensifies

[-]

Hyperion2023@reddit

I get ‘maaaate’ and occasionally ‘bruh’ off my kids (one aged 5, one aged 15). Wonder if this will stop but I hope it don’t

[-]

c0tch@reddit

My mum calls me mate, it sometimes feels weird

[-]

Happy_Chief@reddit

I have reffered to my mother as "Bossman" before. No judgement to that guy

[-]

Jack1ngton@reddit

Assumedly your mother also drives a taxi or works at a kebab shop yeah?

[-]

Happy_Chief@reddit

Not quite, though she does run a tight ship at the local off-license (aka her drinks cabinet).

[-]

Dutch_Slim@reddit

In reverse, my parents (well my mum’s passed but my dad is 82) call me and my kids “mate”. I wouldn’t call my dad that, but I do other elderly friends/family.

[-]

Mission_Yesterday_96@reddit

Hahaha. Quite sweet if I imagine it

[-]

Time-Mode-9@reddit

Bro pretty much is these days, too.

[-]

Think_Bullets@reddit

Mate I got to tell you about the banging sex I had with these 3 hot dudes...

Still sure it's unisex?

[-]

Time_Entertainer_319@reddit

Dude isn’t unisex.

[-]

Bacon4Lyf@reddit

I’d add guys plural to that, but not guy singular

[-]

shivilization_7@reddit

But do you fuck dudes? J/k

[-]

Happy_Chief@reddit

Buy me a drink, let's find out?

[-]

shivilization_7@reddit

Just one drink? This isn’t going to work out

[-]

Happy_Chief@reddit

Buy me 2 drinks, let's find out?

[-]

jazzyl2025@reddit

What about chief?

[-]

Happy_Chief@reddit

Chief is unisex for sure, though not a common one for me to use.

[-]

PrincessStephanieR@reddit

As a woman I don’t like being called ‘mate’ or ‘bro’ or anything like that. Some may feel different but it’s not for me.

[-]

Pristine_Ad5598@reddit

Mate, love, lovely, chief, boss are all ungendered to me - everyone differs though! x

[-]

gray_fox_jaeger@reddit

Bradley Walsh frequently calls female contestants on The Chase "mate". As for a more personal example, I heard my driving instructor calls his wife "mate" on a phone call once or twice.

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

My husband and I call each other mate. We are mates, why wouldn't we? Be a bit sad if you got married to someone who wasn't your mate wouldn't it?

[-]

Sea-Climate6841@reddit

I called my ex-wife ‘mate’ once…she lost her shit at me and went mental! Apparently (and clearly), mates we were not!

[-]

FriendlyGrab3217@reddit

Mate, dude and guys are all unisex in the hands of most people.

[-]

DrNuclearSlav@reddit

You say dude and guy are unisex, but would you fuck a dude or a guy?

(Disclaimer: this test only works if you are a straight man).

[-]

FriendlyGrab3217@reddit

If this person I'm referring to as dude has a vagina? Yes.

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

Would you ever refer to a woman as a dude or a guy in the third person though?

"She's a guy who.."

[-]

OkDifficulty3834@reddit

I wouldn’t say hi mate to a woman

[-]

beernon@reddit

I wouldn’t either. What on earth are all these responses that say it’s ‘universal’?

[-]

BeatificBanana@reddit

All those responses are from people who understand that women are people to and that it's possible to be friends with women just like you can be with men.

[-]

ScouselandBlue@reddit

Most people are not you. Hope that helps!

[-]

juice4meplease@reddit

Only girl to ever call me mate was a butch lesbian, was weird!

[-]

KEW95@reddit

Yes, with the exception of knowing someone doesn’t like it or may be sensitive to it (eg. trans women). Then it’s on a case-by-case basis.

[-]

notanadultyadult@reddit

I (female) personally think it’s more of a male address. The coaches in my gym call everyone ‘mate’ and it irks me a little bit. Not in an “I’m gonna say anything about it way” but just that I don’t like being called mate lol.

[-]

TheEnglishNorwegian@reddit

Yes, mate is unisex. More controversially, dude is also unisex and I will die on that hill.

[-]

crankyandhangry@reddit

"Lads" is equally unisex.

[-]

OddPerspective9833@reddit

What does that make dudette?

[-]

amandacheekychops@reddit

An abomination which I like to pretend doesn't exist. 😂

[-]

ClumsyandLost@reddit

It's unisex but some men may worry about being too informal with a woman they don't know that's so why they apologise.

[-]

WoodpeckerNo770@reddit

For lower class people maybe... I always found it scummy to refer to women as "mate"

[-]

A_Literal_Fruit_5369@reddit

As a woman I use mate, man, my guy and dude all as unisex terms

[-]

Wonder_Shrimp@reddit

I consider it unisex but some people don't

I used to work in a proper, old-style locals pubs. The kind of place where the same 15 people come in most days and i know all their orders. Most of the gents used to call me 'Love' or 'Darling' and that was fine. There was one guy who used to always call me 'Mate' and it prompted an entertaining berate one afternoon when the old Guiness-drinker declared

"You can't call her that! She's a young lady!"

And the Cider drinker just shrugged and continued to call me by his own preferred honorific.

I had no issue with any of it, as the tonearm intention from all of them was that of pleasant friendliness

[-]

No_Pea-1@reddit

Female and hate being called mate. It's for men in my opinion.

[-]

TotallyNotGwempeck@reddit

What do you want to be called instead?

[-]

WhatsThePlanPhil95@reddit

I find it rather unpleasant when I'm called it. It's quite a laddish term

[-]

TotallyNotGwempeck@reddit

What do you want to be called instead?

[-]

PotatoOld9579@reddit

It’s universal

[-]

SpudFire@reddit

I'd say it's gender-neutral but others see it as male-specific.

Personally I'd automatically use it with female friends but not strangers, whereas I'd use it for both with men. No idea why!

[-]

SweetUpstairs6011@reddit

At this point, I call everyone mate/bro/man, regardless of gender.

[-]

just_no_one_here@reddit

You're overthinking it it's a casual form of address.

[-]

nickmasonsdrumstick@reddit

Aye i call males and females mate.

[-]

No_Candle2537@reddit

I feel like it's been slowly becoming less gendered, and we're just in the stage where some people still perceive it as a masculine term while others don't.

Personlly I'm Team Unisex

[-]

CarpetGripperRod@reddit

Personlly I'm Team Unisex

Same with "guy", I suppose? But what about "pal"... that still seems a little blokey, no?

[-]

No_Candle2537@reddit

I think they're all somewhere on that scale - I use guy, dude, pal etc neutrally. But I've heard people get into heated discussions about it too.

I think it'll be interesting to see how the connotations will change over the next 30 years or so.

[-]

Dennyisthepisslord@reddit

Mate/guys/love/duck/ all unisex

[-]

_-poindexter-_@reddit

You wouldnt usually hear a man call another man love unless they were gay or taking the piss. Thats been my experience anyway.

[-]

Dennyisthepisslord@reddit

Nope not the case whatsoever. It's an older generation northern thing for sure.

[-]

CarpetGripperRod@reddit

Even in Worcs, "love" is a thing, so not specifically northern. Rarely, but not uncommon, is "cock", "cocker" or "shags", though I think that's more Staffs?

Still waiting to be called "Petal".

[-]

bogloid@reddit

Yeah this is right

[-]

Fun-Brush5136@reddit

I've had old bus drivers in Leeds call me love (I'm male)

[-]

Extension-Truth@reddit

‘Mates’ just friendly, it’s not deep.

[-]

Key_Milk_9222@reddit

Mate means friend, it's unisex.

[-]

UniqueTart6744@reddit

Mate and pal are both unisex in my experience.

[-]

Lolabird2112@reddit

I’m a woman in London and I use all of those interchangeably regardless of gender

[-]

_FreddieLovesDelilah@reddit

I don’t think the word mate has ever been gendered.

[-]

dawngarda@reddit

My mum (52) calls everyone mate - female friends, male friends, and her kids too.

[-]

MidasToad@reddit

'Mate' is unisex, but informal.

When approaching someone you don't know, an informal introduction is more acceptable if you are the same gender.

The male passengers might be apologising to you due to the unwritten rule that they should be greeting women with more respect/less familiarity.

[-]

amandacheekychops@reddit

I'm female, mid-forties.

Mate, dude - to be used for male or female, but I only use these terms for people who are actually my friends and probably close ones at that. "Dude" in particular I tend to use for my dearest friends.

I use "guys" for everyone. Male groups, female groups, mixed groups. Then did a course at work about sexual discrimination or something similar which didn't outright say that was a bad term to use but encouraged using gender neutral terms instead.

If a man uses "mate" with me I tend to view it as being treated as an equal in whatever we're discussing, I mean on a platonic level. I can't really explain it.

I would never call anyone love, sweetheart, duck, hun, babe etc. I don't know if it's just not my generation for the first two or if I'm just not that girly. I rarely use "girls" or "ladies" when talking to all-female groups, I've never really thought about it and don't know why.

[-]

Traditional-Leg-1122@reddit

Just to throw a spanner in the works, where would the exclamation of “mate!” fit in?

When used at the start of a sentence instead of the end, it is not specifically directed at the person you’re talking to but you’re kind of still addressing them as mate.

[-]

NITSIRK@reddit

Definitely unisex in the West Country. I have prosopagnosia so it comes in very handy 😂

[-]

EasyCheesecake1@reddit

Anyone can call someone mate regardless of gender, although it is more commonly used between men but in my experience more men tend to like putting something like mate, pal, brother, gentlemen, guys etc on the end of a greeting or question.

[-]

Haunted_Entity@reddit

I use "mate", "dude" and "guys" interchangeably. Its just a friendly thing and has nothing to do with gender.

Ive a bunch of female friends and a bunch of male friends, and they all basically do the same thing.

[-]

One-Staff5504@reddit

No. If a woman calls me “mate” i find it very condescending. Like me calling a woman “babe”

[-]

Justan0therthrow4way@reddit

It’s unisex.

Guys probably apologise because everyone gets offended over everything these days and they don’t want to offend someone.

[-]

Czubeczek@reddit

You can say guys as well even when womans are involved ;)

[-]

lifetypo10@reddit

As a woman, a lot of men call me mate. Generally I find it's men who are in relationships that do it more than single guys, it makes me laugh but I guess they use it as a subtle boundary that means they're not interested in me. I used to hate getting called mate but I don't mind it so much now.

[-]

Objective_Highway_36@reddit

It's universal, but sometimes your customers had assumed you would be a man, so apologised. I bet at least one said "sorry mate"

[-]

TheLadyTaxiDriver@reddit (OP)

Just yesterday I picked up 2 guys and one of them while getting in the car said “I didn’t expect to see you”.

[-]

cursed_cucumbers@reddit

Welcome to working in a male dominated job. It brings out the bias in people. I'm not offended by it, I find it funny more than anything. I've had some very interesting comments from a certain generation.

[-]

Rowanx3@reddit

Ive got a ‘unisex’ (predominately male) name, and im a chef. My favourite thing about job searching is the surprise on their face when I’m a woman

[-]

AnonymousTimewaster@reddit

To be fair it's very rare to see a female cab driver. I don't think I've ever seen one and I've taken a lot of taxis in a lot of places. I don't think it's necessarily to do with bias, it's just unusual.

[-]

Lazy-Objective-1630@reddit

"Hey mate! Oh shit sorry dude.... I mean pal.... Oh fuck I do apologize bro.... I mean yooo! My man! I suck at this."

[-]

ClericalRogue@reddit

Unisex. I call everyone mate, and im happy to be called mate back. Never had anyone apologise for saying it.

[-]

ec265@reddit

Yes mate

[-]

ExultentPisces@reddit

Yes and no.

”Mate“ is near universal when addressing men. But is a bit more specific when men are addressing women. As a man, I typically use “mate” only for women I’m already acquainted with. Whereas I’ll call pretty much any bloke “mate”.

That’s in my experience anyway, maybe it’s different for others?

[-]

Nandor1262@reddit

It’s a term I find confusing.

When I was 17 one of the hottest girls at my Sixth Form gave my head at a party she hosted. A week or so later she invited me over to hers to watch a film, she said I could pick the DVD and she’d get the snacks. I cycled over her parents were out, we went up to her bed to watch the film and she called me ‘mate’.

I was like “guess she’s just not into me” watched the film and left 😂

[-]

Secure_Music_6062@reddit

perhaps to her disappointment but now you'll never know!

[-]

Nandor1262@reddit

It was to her disappointment. She got drunk a summer later and was like “You ate all my grapes and left. Why didn’t you kiss me?” I had a gf from uni by that point though

[-]

Secure_Music_6062@reddit

D'Oh!

[-]

SnooHabits8484@reddit

Genuinely nothing on this earth is more oblivious than a teenage boy with dodgy self-esteem (ie 95% of them). Persisted til about 23-24 for me.

[-]

Nandor1262@reddit

Too right. I had another friend I fancied massively at the time insist that we share a bed at her party because “I was the only guy she could trust”. There were other empty beds, I was like “that’s so nice of her to trust me I won’t let her down” and built a wall of pillows between us to give her privacy

We remained good friends but she told me a few years ago “oh yeah I was trying to fuck you, I literally got naked in the room and you looked away to give me privacy, you were oblivious”

[-]

Agreeable_Lynx5321@reddit

You can call women mate but personally as a woman I don’t enjoy being called it.

[-]

Tennonboy@reddit

Put a sign in the Taxi "Please call me BITCH at all times" they will stop calling you mate and even have a smile on their face

. Post on here to say how many had the balls to do it! 😵‍💫

[-]

bounderboy@reddit

Was in a bar last week and an old guy referred to a lady as mate - she is trans and identifies female - and with my Reddit reaction head on was getting angry on her behalf - but then 2mins later he was calling another woman mate as well - it was just his vernacular and no malice meant at all

[-]

sophietheadventurer@reddit

hello lady mate

[-]

ControversyCaution2@reddit

North east England it’s used more specifically at men

I know in liverpool it’s used to refer to everyone

Depends on area

[-]

87catmama@reddit

My son (2 nearly 3) has taken to calling myself and my husband mate. So I guess it's pretty unisex for him!

[-]

txteva@reddit

Used to be male but does seem to be more unisex.

[-]

TSC-99@reddit

Mate means friend

[-]

UKAOKyay@reddit

Dunno mate.

[-]

Geezer-McGeezer@reddit

Yes it is Mate.

[-]

celem83@reddit

Regional. Seen it in London, seen it from south africans, seen it from aussies

[-]

Upbeat-Metal-5087@reddit

I usually say Bert for all but maids for ladies and tecci for fellas if am being polite

[-]

Few_Scientist5381@reddit

Universal freindly Hello, I use it with everyone, unless you have anoyed me, then I use the term Pal.

[-]

Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

Bristol and yeah we use for everyone

[-]

Sevennationarmy69@reddit

I use it for everyone

[-]

Silver_Sun174@reddit

From the north here 100% universal, anyone and I mean anyone can be called mate, younger, older, male, female, very much universal

[-]

bradclark2001@reddit

Idk I think if you're friendly with the woman, yes definitely

[-]

ceehred@reddit

I tend to use mate for the blokes (hate bruv, bro & brah), but sometimes use matey for the females. I do also love to use petal for the ladies I know well, though few I know are particularly delicate :-D

Did use to use lady a lot, but it gets some frowns and double-looks nowadays. Reluctant to use ma'am.

[-]

Top-Cat-a@reddit

Some women have become increasingly sensitive to forms of address that are targeted at women, so "Mate" has beome more unisex to cover this

[-]

Skydance1975@reddit

When I first started being called mate by male friends, I thought they did it to make clear I'm in the friend zone, lol!

[-]

NoGloryForEngland@reddit

I just call everyone 'flower' now to avoid an awkward situation.

[-]

WritingSubstantial79@reddit

It can be used with women but it doesn’t quite sit right when I say it. That said, I have an all female marketing team that work for me and when referring to them as a group I always call them guys so go figure!🤷🏻‍♂️

[-]

M3NN0X@reddit

I live in Newcastle and everyone is mate, regardless of their gender

[-]

78Anonymous@reddit

West Mids .. yeah, universal .. anyone can be 'mate'

[-]

MiserableSympathy230@reddit

Must…resist….Fake Taxi jokes!!

[-]

Fioreborn@reddit

It is in my city (south coast)

Everyone is mate.

[-]

Clothes_Chair_Ghost@reddit

Mate is basically saying “friend” so yes it’s gender neutral. As is dude, and if social media has anything to say about it so does “bro”

[-]

Simbooptendo@reddit

Depends how hard she is

[-]

Necrospire@reddit

Bud or mate as I'm a fossil and don't want to offend anyone as you can never tell if it's a the, them, or something new, bud or mate are universal IMO.

[-]

Andries89@reddit

It's all good mate

[-]

Wrong_Duty7043@reddit

Yeah I use mate and love as unisex.

[-]

SharkByte1993@reddit

I feel like mate is more of a man to man thing. But it certainly can be unisex

[-]

ceciem2100@reddit

I'm 44/f I hate being called love or dear by a male, I much prefer mate. I certainly call my male friends and female friends mate.

[-]

eralcilrahc@reddit

Yes, Newcastle

[-]

Aggressive-Dealer-21@reddit

My friend called a woman mate, she wasn't happy about it and said he shouldn't misgender people. He told her it's a neutral term, and she said it isn't then he said something that I will hold on to forever.

"Just because you're offended, doesn't make you right" 🤣

[-]

Drea_44@reddit

I use it for anyone who is friendly and I don't know their name.

[-]

jimmywhereareya@reddit

I'm a 60 year old woman, if you call me mate... You can fuck right off you ignorant #@7

[-]

chicken_nugget94@reddit

Yes and no, I would call a man I don't remotely know mate when addressing him, I only call women 'mate' if I'm actually friends with them

[-]

Wraithei_@reddit

Yeh mates universal, often say the same for dude. In your case id probably address you as Drive though 😅

[-]

WhatYouLeaveBehind@reddit

Do girls not have mates?

[-]

llamasncheese@reddit

As your experience suggests, its different for different people. For some men they only use it for other men, and for some its universal. Its just how different people talk.

If were being technical about it though, the word mate is an informal way of saying friend, and is not gender specific unlike "guys" which technically is a group of men, but again, is used differently by different people, and for some they just use it to mean a group of people men or women or mixed.

[-]

bekcy@reddit

It feels a bit wrong to be called mate, even though it's not offensive. Had a customer call me 'mate' and then 'sweetheart' immediately after, which was amusing.

[-]

JasonStonier@reddit

Unisex. I call everyone mate. Female and male colleagues are mate/boss/chief depending on mood. Apart from our head of purchasing - she pointed out that she wasn’t my boss and would prefer if I called her ‘bosslady’ or ‘ma’am’.

Mate is most definitely unisex.

[-]

BTZ-25@reddit

Its used in the same manner as Pal or Buddy. Men use these terms more than women so I can see why it may be confusing.

[-]

SMYLTY@reddit

I call both men and women mate in work. I don't say it to a trans colleague, I use their chosen name.

[-]

SweetieDollFae@reddit

Mate literally means 'friend', that's its definition, so yes it's entirely ungendered

[-]

SimpleManc88@reddit

No. I’d never call a woman mate and I’d apologise if I did because I’d assumed you were a dude lol.

[-]

No_Economy6175@reddit

I’m a woman and I don’t mind mate but draw the line at bro or bruh 🤣 tbh mate is a guy trying to non-sexualise the interaction. No issue in the circumstance you described at all 🙏

[-]

fotfddtodairsizr@reddit

It can be used for everyone. However some men wouldn’t call a woman mate (even though there is nothing wrong with it), but that’s why sometimes they say sorry, because they would have chosen a different word if they knew your gender from the get go. I guess to be more polite

[-]

_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_@reddit

I don’t feel mate is gendered. But I’m an Aussie import, so… maybe that’s why.

[-]

killit@reddit

Depends on the person, some do, some don't.

Don't over think it.

[-]

thx1138a@reddit

We had a mobile mechanic who habitually called my wife “mate”. She really liked this about him.

[-]

TapeDeckSlick@reddit

I say cheers mate to male bus drivers and just cheers or thanks have a nice day to female ones if that's any help

[-]

Derbadian@reddit

I give bus drivers of any sex or gender a “Cheers Drive”

[-]

cursed_cucumbers@reddit

BA BYE DRIVA

[-]

IsOkay_No@reddit

I don’t use mate but I call my wife and sister “bruv” or “bro” sometimes

[-]

Flashy-Cucumber-3794@reddit

I call my wife 'mate' when I want to wind her up.

[-]

SituationMundane5452@reddit

I think it’s unisex, however some males might associate the word mate with “mating” which has has sexual references and that’s why they apologise

[-]

Idontunderstandmost@reddit

I’m Yorkshire female and would find it a bit odd to be called mate as a woman, but I’d accept it 🤷‍♀️

Usually it would be”love” (for men and women!)

[-]

Decard_Pain@reddit

Being from Yorkshire I use mate and love for pretty much everyone, sex doesn't matter, a lot of the time its usually age.

[-]

shadowmoses4726@reddit

i’m in my 20s, also from yorkshire. i’ve been called “mate” my guys around my age, older guys usually say “love” or something along those lines

[-]

Decard_Pain@reddit

Yea I'm in my 40s and have caught myself calling younger men love.

[-]

MercuryJellyfish@reddit

I hang around in a very mixed social group. "Mate" has become a very unisex term of address, and it especially seems to be used to indicate the your intent is entirely platonic.

[-]

FancyAd3942@reddit

Yeah it’s pretty unisex. Personally a stranger under the age of like 60 or a male calling me love or dear is a bit eek😅

[-]

G0d0fZ0mb13@reddit

I feel like etymologically, it's a gender-neutral word, but sociallly it's usually used between men.

[-]

shrtshnks@reddit

For the hundredth time, yes.

[-]

newtonbase@reddit

I worked with a guy who called his wife mate which felt wrong.

[-]

jamesy505@reddit

I've never called a female friend mate ever. No its not universal.

[-]

Astroradical@reddit

It's slightly gendered, but pretty normal to use for women.

I'd say taxi drivers call me 'love' or 'hen' half the time, and 'mate' or 'pal' half the time. I reckon they're just being polite, since some women prefer not to be called 'love'.

[-]

jayjones35@reddit

Hello mate, is basically short for “hello friend” in Liverpool, we also say dear and lovely as well specially the older generation.

I say love all the time, it’s basically a gender specific to women but means the same as “hello mate” the male version of “hello love” is “hello lad” in Liverpool.

[-]

HotCommunication1696@reddit

It’s not a term I use with women I don’t know but acquaintances will get called mate, it’s a term of endearment in my view

My wife and I call each other mate all the time too (Although I suppose it applies in the literal sense here)

[-]

Secure_Music_6062@reddit

It's definitely morphed into a unisex term recently. I use it for both male / female / non binary etc, it is an inclusive term, like 'my friend'

[-]

Dazzling-Ad6085@reddit

I call everybody mate, make, female , dog, cat

[-]

NightBusToGiro@reddit

Do you not wanna be mates or something?

[-]

Mean_Emergency_6536@reddit

it's absolutely unisex, but i find some women do get a bit upset when men call women mate.

[-]

Mjukplister@reddit

Im one of those women 😂

[-]

Illustrious-Milk6518@reddit

I’m a woman who likes to be called mate, and call all my female friends mate too lol. It’s just a friendly term

[-]

Dutch_Slim@reddit

But why? Asking as a woman (but in my circles anyone of any sex/age is “mate” so to me it’s very normal).

[-]

underwater-sunlight@reddit

It has become more common. The older generation may still get away with calling women things like love, sweetheart, darling and it comes across as innocent but I think anyone under 60, it probably comes across as a bit creepy

[-]

LadyInAllPower@reddit

For some people definitely. Others only use it for men

[-]

Intrepid-Hornet@reddit

I'd say unisex but slightly more masculine? I use it for everyone, but I'm very androgynous and a big giveaway that someone (especially a man) is reading as a man is how often he calls me 'mate' - once or twice could go either way, once a sentence means he thinks I'm a man

(with the caveat that that's been true in southwest England and South Wales and probably isn't the same everywhere)

[-]

Previous_Pie_9918@reddit

Mate = showing you they'll treat you the same as any other male taxi driver, trying to show you the respect your position is owed (driving them home, you're in charge)

Love/darling/etc = probably just trying to be friendly. It's a general term of affection and shows they appreciate you (but recognise you're a woman doing a traditionally male job). It's meant well. (Unless there are other actual sexually aggressive behaviours) it is meant well on it's own.

I'm sure you do know this already, but for a male, being picked up by a female can be slightly alarming because they feel it puts them in a position where they could be accused of something.

So generally a man saying hello in any nice way "Alright darling/hello love/alright mate" is probably just a genuinely meant nice greeting.

[-]

KLAHR17@reddit

My stepdad calls my mum mate and I think it’s the oddest thing for a spouse to call you

[-]

Petcai@reddit

I've always used 'mate' to men and 'love' to women, but sometimes you use the wrong one and then it depends on the situation and mood whether you apologise or just blank-face it like 'Yeah, I meant to say that'.

[-]

Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit

I use it for all genders and I am a female

[-]

GinBitch@reddit

Originally from the South East. I call my daughter mate.

[-]

ActionBirbie@reddit

Yes, in my experience. I've never met a lady who has taken particular umbrage at it. They're more likely to think about it in terms of it being quite working class, first of all.

[-]

PianoMiddle346@reddit

Mate is unisex all over the country but some blokes tend to only call other blokes mate. If they accidentally called a woman mate, they would apologise. I have seen this a few amusing times.

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

It is universal, but I also apologise if I say "hello mate" to a female taxi driver. I only get taxis when im on the piss lol so its always late and tbh I dont expect a female taxi driver in the middle of town at 2am picking god knows who up haha

[-]

fickle_tartan@reddit

It is universal, but I also apologise if I say "hello mate" to a female taxi driver.

If it's universal then what are you apologising for?

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

Also like ive just read on another comment, id never call a woman who i wasn't friends with mate

[-]

fickle_tartan@reddit

So it's not universal then?

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

Wow youre a stickler for detail aren't you haha. I guess not. How would you describe it?

[-]

fickle_tartan@reddit

How would you describe it?

Not as universal, because a lot of people still act like it's rude to call a woman "mate", and I wish it wasn't like that.

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

That's fair enough. I dont feel its rude, just don't want to upset anyone. Ive known enough people getting triggered by small things that id rather just not upset anyone!

[-]

fickle_tartan@reddit

I hate to break it to you but you're also maybe going to upset some of us women who find it gross when people feel they have to speak to us differently to our colleagues just because we're women.

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

Ok mate sorry. Bloody hell lol.

[-]

fickle_tartan@reddit

You don't have to apologise to me, I'm just saying if your concern is upsetting someone because of gendered language, it's probably safer to just not use it if you're not sure

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

Im only not using one word and apologising to taxi drivers. I work in care and work pretty much exclusively with women (service users exempt obv) and i call everyone "mate". Chill haha

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

Cos im an awkward person anyway and its a gut reaction, also wouldn't want a lady to take it as an insult that they look man-ish when they clearly dont. On top of that just you know being British, if youre not sure just say sorry, itll usually be ok haha

[-]

fickle_tartan@reddit

also wouldn't want a lady to take it as an insult that they look man-ish when they clearly dont.

But if it's "universal" as you say it is, they wouldn't think that?

Unless of course you apologise to them for mistaking them for a man...

[-]

InvestAuggers@reddit

Aye, yes

[-]

Effective-Design2378@reddit

I think it depends, feels more gendered to me personally though. I wouldn’t call a woman mate, and I find it cringey when a woman calls me mate.

[-]

Wrong_Adhesiveness87@reddit

Being from the Antipodes, I use mate for everyone.

[-]

Mina_U290@reddit

I drove a taxi for nearly 10 years from 1992 to 2001. Exactly the same.

Hello mate oh sorry love. 😂 Can't believe they still expect drivers to be only men.

My females friends were calling each other mate at about that time as well and didn't think anything of it.

[-]

YoungGazz@reddit

Yes mate 👍

[-]

Tetsuo1981@reddit

Mate is like Dude. Everything and everyone is Mate or Dude to me

[-]

-LargeHardOnCollider@reddit

Yeah this is the take I most agree with as a 35m from London, it's just a universal geeting

[-]

True-Register-9403@reddit

I think it's changed over the years, so probably depends on the age of the person saying it.

20 odd years ago dude and mate we're things you'd only say to a man. Similar with "guys".

I don't think I would really use mate with any stranger now, whereas years ago it was just a thing I would use if I didn't know a person's name.

I would use mate & dude with both males and females that I knew well now though.

Weird - my usage had definitely changed and I hadn't realised that until just now...

[-]

LibraryTime11011011@reddit

I use both mate and guys are non-gender-specific.

[-]

Soo_anyways@reddit

I say "Bro"

[-]

Veinmire@reddit

For me it feels more gendered with women I don't know.

Like for example I forgot my bus driver was a woman the other week and felt a bit rude after saying "thanks mate" when getting off.

If she's actually my mate that's one thing but if a woman dropped something I wouldn't go "hey mate" and expect her to turn around. I might go with love (though I try not to sound patronising when that slips out), or just "hellooo, excuse me".

[-]

Downtown-BT-83@reddit

Don’t worry mate, it’s definitely universal.

[-]

dazed1984@reddit

I consider it universal.

[-]

himit@reddit

It feels unisex to me in Australia but not here in London 🤷

[-]

CaledoniaGaming@reddit

I think it can be unisex. I always considered it a guy to guy thing, but a guy I used to work with used to call women mate. I suppose mate just means friend, so can be unisex.

[-]

RoutineCloud5993@reddit

I've met people who call everyone mate, and I've also met women who didn't like it when that happens.

[-]

BadgerAndBiscuit@reddit

Just not ‘bruh’ please

[-]

BungadinRidesAgain@reddit

It is universal, but now that I think about it, I never call a woman I don't know that well 'mate', like I would a bloke. Friends who are women, for sure, but to strangers I just don't.

[-]

Plenty_Suspect_3446@reddit

I wouldn't consider mate a unisex form of address.

[-]

AsleepEbb7578@reddit

It does feel a bit wrong to say it to a woman, though I tend to stay away from "dear", "love", "duck" and other such terms since it feels like an old person thing to say.

[-]

fickle_tartan@reddit

One time someone at my old job called me mate, heard my voice in response and evidently realised I'm a woman and stumbl d out a "sorry love"

So stupid cause a) if he hadn't said anything I wouldn't have even known he thought I was a man and b) "love" is literally worse

[-]

One_Million_Beers@reddit

If they are pretty it’s always darling

[-]

usernameinmail@reddit

I'd say unisex and don't care to be called "love". Agree with other comment about dude being unisex too

[-]

geniusgravity@reddit

Don't worry about it mate....oh, sorry. Seriously I don't ever recall having a female taxi driver, but I don't think I'd ever break from "Alright mate, been busy tonight?" And then saying nothing.

[-]

DiskBytes@reddit

I'd say, 'oh, I say, hello treacle'.

[-]

CaterpillarFalse3592@reddit

As a taxi driver, surely you are worldly enough to know this better than reddit?

[-]

Ana_Phases@reddit

My best friend and I are both female identifying.

We both call each other ‘mate’ repeatedly.

[-]

themcsame@reddit

I think it just depends on where they're from for the most part, likely with a hint of the person themselves as well.

For some, it's just men, for some, it's more of a blanket statement for men but only female friends (or even just certain ones), and for some, it's both men and women.

[-]

When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!

Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.