Speaking more eloquently

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TheOwlHypothesis@reddit

Try writing.

Seriously. Writing forces you to slow down and organize your thoughts in a coherent way.

The more you practice that skill, the more your inner voice will start to use that machinery and then you can translate that into your vocal practice.

Some people do have this ability naturally, yes. But anyone can learn to speak well.

Ideally you do your writing by hand by the way.

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mr_brobot__@reddit

I love writing and I feel that I’m fairly decent at it. However, I edit and re-edit relentlessly.

When speaking I don’t have this luxury. I feel jammed up and clumsy in my speech.

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choochoopain@reddit

^THIS! I also got back into creative writing and reading recently. I noticed recenrly how much more clearer I'm able to convey concepts in my day-to-day.

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aseradyn@reddit

This this this

And read about technical writing practices. A lot of the strategies used for that also translate to clear spoken communication.

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TheOwlHypothesis@reddit

I got a certification through coursework in college. Outside of that, not sure.

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ecto-2@reddit

Any suggestions for resources about technical writing?

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ghoztz@reddit

Does your org have technical writers? If so, they’d be more than happy to share what they know. We honestly feel pretty invisible and unappreciated most of the time.

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ecto-2@reddit

That’s a good suggestion. I haven’t worked in an org that had technical writers as a specific role. But I hope to someday.

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aseradyn@reddit

Sorry, it's been decades since I studied it. But the great things is that writers like to talk about writing, so I bet you can find something online.

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This. I keep a notebook and pen. I sometimes close my laptop and just focus on a blank page and what I want to fill it with. Without the ability to Google stuff, copy from another source, use AI, etc. it feels a little weird at first. It’s just a bunch of thoughts swirling around your head and have to grab them and wrestle them into sentences and see if they make sense together. Often they don’t. That’s the point. Even if it makes you feel a little stupid, that’s the point. It’s too easy to see other people’s words and ideas and mistake your understanding them for being able to generate your own. Writing forces you to identify the limits of your knowledge. Eventually you flesh out the missing details. The concepts become clearer and more coherent.

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Feeling-Schedule5369@reddit

Does commenting on social media work as writing exercise or does it have to be on a paper?

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haroldjaap@reddit

Well shit. I type my messy thoughts in Claude opus, with too little structure but with all the necessary information there and I receive my thoughts in an organised manner that I can easily verify and refine. But using ai for this will cause me to not learn the necessary skills to speak eloquently because.

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Wide-Pop6050@reddit

Yeahhhhh. You're outsourcing a good learning opportunity

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ThingAboutTown@reddit

That’s an important brain muscle you’re not using! You can ask Claude to interview you about plans instead of just untangling your messy notes - works very well!

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Wassa76@reddit

I’ve always wrote my jumbled thoughts into Word and rewrote them.

Now I just chuck it into AI to reword.

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kareesi@reddit

Forcing myself to slow way down when I speak is super uncomfortable, but it really helps. Try explaining a concept out loud to yourself quickly, and then try explaining the same concept slowly, way slower than feels comfortable.

When I did that I realized it felt way easier to speak coherently and not cram in filler words into my speech, or ramble off on a tangent before my brain caught up with what I was saying.

I’ve also worked a lot on being okay with pauses and lapses before I begin to speak, or in between sentences. It feels awkward/uncomfortable in the moment, but I started to observe others do the same and realized nobody thinks anything of it and in fact it gives others a moment to process.

Get to the Point! by Joel Schwartzberg is a great book on this topic.

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shawntco@reddit

If you're in a situation where you could write down what you're going to say (such as a demo or a stand-up), then do so. Maybe not every word, but at least bullet points. I often write down what I will say in daily stand-ups.

I'll echo the advise to just practice thinking before you speak. Note that a lot of people will use your silence as a reason to start talking. In those cases it's good to say "I need a moment to think this through."

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Factory__Lad@reddit

I think I’ve become more articulate as a result of listening to podcasts where people have thoughtful, erudite discussions

Also read lots of books. Improves your vocabulary

Also make lots of notes on everything, and take every opportunity to do public speaking and prepare slide decks

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CompetitiveFail@reddit

Have any podcasts you recommend?

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Factory__Lad@reddit

It depends what you’re interested in (for me: tech biz, geopolitics) but I keep coming back to Scott Galloway’s various pods, The Rest is Politics, This Week in Startups, and Net Assessment.

The extremely controversial All In is also entertaining, but should be taken with a huge pinch of salt

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CompetitiveFail@reddit

Thank you! I’m always looking for new recommendations.

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Practical-Piglet-933@reddit

It’s mostly not natural—it’s a trainable “thinking out loud” skill, not a knowledge issue.

The people you’re noticing are just slowing down their output: they use structure (problem → approach → detail → example), leave pauses instead of filling space, and avoid explaining everything they know in one go.

You can build it by forcing a simple template in meetings (even mentally) and deliberately speaking \~30% slower—clarity comes from sequencing ideas, not having fewer ideas.

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Odd_Perspective3019@reddit

practice. no one is born with amazing communication skills. They read a lot they talk a lot in front of mirror maybe they were in debate club when they were young or they write a lot either way you can achieve it too you just have to sit spend an hour everyday and speak about a topic out loud, have AI critique it and learn and you get better

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carlemur@reddit

Improv and/or toast masters. Meditation.

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jmking@reddit

Focus on communicating the things that matter to your audience instead of trying to race through an overload of irrelevant information.

Focus on getting to the point. Let the others around you ask questions instead of trying to avoid questions by over-communicating. Questions are good. It means people are paying attention.

Also - this is going to sound dumb, but watch how the good speakers use their hands. Getting used to punctuating your points with hand gestures helps to slow you down. You would look like you were having a seizure if you moved your hands in time with how quickly you're likely used to speaking.

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Sea-Entertainment215@reddit

I’ve been focused on leveling up this skill as well. One popular resource is Think Faster, Talk Smarter book or audiobook. It gives a few structured frameworks for approaching different types of convos.

One of the core lessons is “strive for mediocrity”. Have you noticed that some of the best speakers, when you actually listen to the content of what they’re saying, it’s not that revolutionary. But they just have confidence in what they’re saying and they do it with a captivating manner.

And I liked that lesson as someone who’s overachieving. And also as the person reading this topic you can now get in a vicious cycle of anxiety and perfection so this callout helps pull you out of that rabbit hole before diving in further to additional techniques

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jaktonik@reddit

Ironically the answer is clearly stated in your question - slow down :) The conversation ball has been passed to you, whether in person or in context as a speaker at some type of presentation, and now your pace is the pace and no one can do anything about it. There is no expected pace, every single listener would rather have 3 seconds of silence followed by a smart statement or composed idea than a ramble of unsorted words reflexively dumped upon request

It's also super important to talk to yourself, make time for it. Even if you have a full house you have time in the car after work, just park for 15 minutes and pretend that something you did today needs explaining to an authority (vary the scenario: explain code to a manager, explain your lunch to a cop, etc), and literally explain it out loud - really mean it, get in the headspace, and talk it through. Aside from analyzing recordings, this is the only way to deliberately listen to your cadence, listen to your emotions, and start reviewing yourself honestly while looking for moments in your emotional response that you can respond to differently. It takes several hours of this solo-talk-therapy to turn a result, but this is how I went from atrocious to excellent at communication, no specific resources beyond targeted intentional practice

Slow down, play out "real pretend" conversations, and listen to yourself, you'll be an entirely new communicator within a year

Also I strongly second the tip about writing, especially in the AIge we're in, that's an exceptionally effective way to improve across the board

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remy_porter@reddit

You sorta explained it. They’re methodical. They pause to gather their thoughts, so that their thinking can be organized. It takes practice to slow down and speak with intent. One thing that helps: place the focus on the audience. Pay more attention to them. Read their body language. Anticipate their needs. It helps get out of your head if you’re focusing on other people.

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engineered_academic@reddit

Toastmasters helped me, although YMMV depending on the group you join.

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BuzzAlderaan@reddit

I second this. It’s helped me think through technical concepts in a way to present to people that may not know tech and to work in basic speaking and presentation skills. I think of it like practicing the Feynman technique:

“If you can’t explain something simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

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kaisean@reddit

There's a line from The Office that goes something like, "why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?"

Kevin has a point.

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meevis_kahuna@reddit

I'm subscribed to several public speaking related YouTube channels (Vinh Giang is my favorite - check him out). Here is what comes to mind.

Instead of saying "um" or using filler words, pause. This is surprisingly powerful. It forces you to really think about what you're saying and slow way down.
Stop rambling and get to the point. My framework - your turn is a bottom line sentence, then a sentence of context, then some follow up. After this paragraph you need to pause and let people digest.
Think of your voice as a musical instrument. Its not just about playing the notes but how you play. Try varying your cadence as you speak - pitch and duration of syllables. It grabs people's attention and it's easy. (Think "Hey." vs. "Oh hellooo").

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julmonn@reddit

One tip I’ve given coworkers that have asked me about this, is to improve their vocabulary so that they don’t have over-explain themselves with very verbose language. This might be specific to my company because we don’t speak English natively.

“So that shouldn’t make a difference I don’t think because the broken things are not in that database” vs “That should be inconsequential, the broken records are elsewhere”

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PressureHumble3604@reddit

I have the same issue and at the same time, I had a colleague that spoke eloquently and very fast, he was hard to follow

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UntestedMethod@reddit

Personally I find practice is the main thing. I often practice by talking to myself. I live alone so it's not gonna weird anyone out when I'm reciting a presentation for work or a random personal story I'm remembering. If I have an important meeting or something coming up, I might also talk out loud any thoughts or feelings I want to bring to the discussion.

For more spontaneous explanations, I generally try to follow a pattern of starting by giving context that meets the audience at a point they understand and connect to. Then gradually explain into the more detailed layers.

At any time no matter how prepared or not you're feeling, taking those pauses to collect your next thoughts is essential. It also gives the audience a chance to absorb whatever point you just finished saying.

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DurianDiscriminat3r@reddit

I'm like you, but probably worse. I tend to over explain because I want to make sure the listener has all the context, but that just makes them more confused. What we need to do is practice structure until it becomes automatic. I've been doing that with AI as a coach. It seems to help a lot. And like another comment said, practice writing.

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chavervavvachan@reddit

How add you using AI for coaching, would you mind sharing

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DurianDiscriminat3r@reddit

ChatGPT and Gemini has voice mode. Start by explaining your speech issues, then ask it to do deep research on speech coaching, then ask it to turn it into a reusable LLM coach roleplay prompt for interview, presentation, whatever. Pass the prompt into a new session and use voice mode. I use yoodlii but that requires a subscription.

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ryaaan89@reddit

At this point in my career I’m impressed enough when my coworkers manage to explain something to me without being incredibly pedantic whether it’s a subject I know anything about or not.

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CJKay93@reddit

I have ADHD; I didn't have a choice but to learn to pause and think through it, lest what comes out of my mouth be absolute gibberish.

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utdconsq@reddit

Just popping in to say this is something I am reasonable at, but that you shouldn't feel dishesrtened: most people i know who excel at it practiced. Some of them accidentally practiced, to be fair, but still, it is not natural for many people. Plus 1 for people recommending a method like STAR and also things like toastmasters: get comfortable talking and have a plan about what you will say. Eventually, you end up being able to do it about almost anything and can even bullshit yourself (lol). At that point, you have to learn the opposite...when to shut up!!

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merry_go_byebye@reddit

One exercise is to try and avoid saying "um", "like", and other crutch words.

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ARIZARD@reddit

I am told that I am a pretty good public speaker/explainer. I don’t think I could attribute that skill to any single technique, but a few things have led me to this point.

I used to film myself speaking, a lot, for a previous non-tech job. There was also more formal training involved for that where a facilitator would provide instant feedback on how I presented. I did that for about 2.5 years. Recording myself, reviewing and iterating was the most important part.

In another role, before programming, the company put me through a presentation skills course run by a guy who used to be a news presenter. I kept that instruction booklet to this day.

That also led me to try and understand why we should say certain things and avoid saying other things. Two books come to mind: Never Split the Difference and Crucial Conversations. Really good way to understand how to develop interpersonal skills.

Finally, feedback from peers when they tell me I’m not being direct enough. If you have good coworkers then this becomes a matter of practice.

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Nezrann@reddit

I am oftentimes thanked for my ability to explain not necessarily complex topics, but timely ones, in a way that is confident and informing.

I don't think much about it, and I think that's the secret. I talk a bit slower, I gauge understanding, and I pause when I'm trying to connect my thoughts or find the next one.

My honest advice would just be to try speaking slower, and avoid trying to get to the end of your sentences so quickly.

I think this is a skill, but I also think it isn't one that's particularly hard to adopt as long as you don't have some kind of anxiety disorder.

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olddev-jobhunt@reddit

You've answered your own question:

They’re slow and methodical about the way they speak, they pause to gather thoughts

Now, no bullshit, it's hard to do this on the fly in some random conversation.

But if this is a conversation you know is coming (a project update, an intro to some tech, whatever) then you can prepare. What's the core concept? What's your mental model? What are the skillsets and knowledge bases of the people in the conversation?

You stop and think before the conversation, organize a couple approaches (at least in your head, if not on paper) and go through it slowly and methodically.

The trick is that over time you realize how many of these conversations are the effectively the same - the same systems, the same budget questions, the same trade-off options, etc. And those start to become easier to facilitate over the years.

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SagansCandle@reddit

Would you expect a junior engineer to be able to code as well as you can after 15 years? Unlikely. You've spent 15 years practicing and mastering a skill. You've studied, taken risks, failed and succeeded, pushed through when it wasn't fun.

How much time have you dedicated to learning communication skills? Studied, practiced, and pushed through when it wasn't fun?

Communication start with psychology, and as a neurodivergent, I'd suggest starting with learning theory of mind and body language. Reading someone's body language gives your brain something to do when it wants to race, so you're analyzing their body language instead of running your mouth.

And lastly, learn from those who have mastered the skill you wish to learn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBQ76ZNWH2U

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SagansCandle@reddit

One last thought - attention spans are limited, and increasingly so with the forthcoming generations. Say something because it has meaning. Every word has an impact on the listener - don't give them reason to tune out.

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kareesi@reddit

Forcing myself to slow way down when I speak is super uncomfortable, but it really helps. Try explaining a concept out loud to yourself quickly, and then try explaining the same concept slowly, way slower than feels comfortable.

When I did that I realized it felt way easier to speak coherently and not cram in filler words into my speech, or ramble off on a tangent before my brain caught up with what I was saying.

I’ve also worked a lot on being okay with pauses and lapses before I begin to speak, or in between sentences. It feels awkward/uncomfortable in the moment, but I started to observe others do the same and realized nobody thinks anything of it and in fact it gives others a moment to process.

Get to the Point! by Joel Schwartzberg is a great book on this topic.

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kevin074@reddit

You don’t need to speak fast.

Slow down intentionally and practice that.

There is no magic bullet to slow down but do it and just be uncomfortable to become eventually comfortable

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valadil@reddit

I was running an interview yesterday and asked the candidate a question. He paused and was like “that’s a really good question, how did you spot that so fast?” I appreciated the ego boost but let him in on the secret, “dude, this is the third time I ran this session this week. I already know all the good questions.”

IMO if someone presents something really well, odds are this isn’t the first time they’ve talked through the concept. You’re seeing the final result after they’ve already had a few dress rehearsals to work out the kinks. Don’t compare your first attempt at a topic with their highlight reel. Put yourself in situations where you can explain the same thing over and over so you can iterate on your approach.

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Bricktop72@reddit

Toastmasters is a good place to learn the basic skills.

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ConstructionBoth6461@reddit

Slow down. Pause. See what people do. Embrace discomfort. Listen and synchronize the conversation when it diverges. Practice forgiveness, acceptance, and collaborative, yet critical thinking. Partner with your audience.

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demosthenesss@reddit

Practice and asking for specific feedback.

When you give a demo, how often have you asked for feedback? Give folks up front prompts. "Hey, can you focus on my pacing throughout this demo I'm about to do and let me know if you think parts are rushed/too slow/etc?" types of prompts give you a lot of insights.

You might realize it's all in your head.

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zugzwangister@reddit

I'm told that I speak well. I hate speaking.

I approached it like anything else. Read some books. Identified speakers whom I found engaging. Paid attention to what they did, and most importantly, didn't do.

Here was the hard part. I video recorded myself. Zoom makes this easy now. I meet with myself and record. Watching back is painful.

Gemini does a pretty decent job critiquing, as well. I'll use it these days to get feedback on a presentation I'm practicing.

Stress out. I'm not sure if that's actually helpful, but I'm recounting the steps I follow. 😁

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SquiffSquiff@reddit

Have you heard of the STAR method as used for interviewing to structure your speaking?

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PettyWitch@reddit (OP)

No I haven’t, I’ll look into it. Thank you!