Do you eat a hamburger with your hands as god intended or with a knife and fork like a psychopath?

Hands for both, always. Cutting a burger with a knife and fork is a cry for help and anyone doing it at a casual restaurant needs to examine their choices. Pizza with a fork is only acceptable if it's legitimately too hot and even then you're on thin ice.

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Lonely-Job484@reddit

Both are contextual.

Few people in most of Italy would eat pizza with their hands, and I wouldn't suggest it for Chicago style deep pizza either. So only really new York style takeaway pizza that hands work for.

Equally, 'burger van' or fast food burgers are generally hands, but anything served on crockery I'd use cutlery.

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

Depends on the burger and where I'm eating

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Opening_Nose_2347@reddit

Yes, we always eat everything with cutlery and we are always polite.

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raccoon-overlord@reddit

Hands for both. If a burger is so big it requires it to be eaten with a knife and fork I'm not ordering it. And if I go to a place where, 'etiquette wise' you should use a knife and fork then I'm not ordering pizza.

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iambeherit@reddit

My wife is on the psycho side. I can't watch. She does it with pizza too.

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Impossible_Disk_43@reddit

If it's one of those big, hefty burgers, I can see why. I've even done it myself out of sheer necessity.

But pizza is an odd one. Does she eat toasties like that too?

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iambeherit@reddit

Ya. Anything. Eats Chinese food with a spoon too.

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Darth-__-Maul@reddit

With a spoon? Like a savage?

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Morteca@reddit

BURN THE WITCH

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mrpeagrub@reddit

I'd only use cutlery if it's a messy one

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EpochRaine@reddit

A burger is supposed to be a hot meat sandwich - this is just a mess thrown on a plate

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mrpeagrub@reddit

It's a burger with chilli how else is it gonna look? Was fantastic tho

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Mr_Blott@reddit

A burger with chilli is just a burger without the structural integrity

You might as well use a brioche bun too and just fucking snort it

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Darth-__-Maul@reddit

You’re killing me man 😂

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mrpeagrub@reddit

Yeah

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EpochRaine@reddit

You're braver than me :)

I've got IBS just looking at the picture!

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JeffSergeant@reddit

Borderline /r/stewhats material

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targetsbots@reddit

Looks like the burgers melted 😂🍔❤️

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Nomis1982@reddit

I'd be refusing to eat that if it was served to me. That's not a burger.

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montyb752@reddit

I use chopsticks, it’s the best of both worlds

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TangoMikeOne@reddit

I'm not a McDonald's chief executive or mayor of New York in the late 2010s, so I use my hands always, ditto takeout pizza (some home cooked pizzas don't have the structural rigidity I like, so I'll cut it up with a knife and fork, but still eat with my hands).

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Slyspy006@reddit

I eat both burgers and pizza with knife and fork. I hate mess, dislike food being stuck in my teeth and am not a savage, unable to use cutlery.

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dlt-cntrl@reddit

The ones I make at home are hands, the burger I had at the pub on Friday was sliding all over the place so knife and fork for the last bits.

Pizza is hands at home, knife and fork when out. It just seems more polite.

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Ok_Aioli3897@reddit

Depends.

The ridiculous burgers that places do sometimes with a knife and fork as otherwise they are too big.

If it's a normal size definitely hands.

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Wolves_arent_we@reddit

Luckily I've got a face like a Scream mask and can pop them in in one go.

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Limp-Archer-7872@reddit

What if you're rob swires in a deadmaus video?

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AdFancy6243@reddit

My tmj pops off like a champagne cork so even a moderate burger is an issue

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TheNinjaPixie@reddit

snake mode activated

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jackgrafter@reddit

I’ve googled it for the team - temporomandibular joint

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Bullet4MyEnemy@reddit

Sounds like something an insect has rather than a human lol

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AdFancy6243@reddit

Sorry yeah i forget it's not a common acronym

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skilless@reddit

Easy solution: I don't order those ridiculous burgers too big to eat with my hands. They always taste like hog slop anyway. My body isn't a garburator.

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ButterscotchTop194@reddit

I refuse to eat those stupid fucking stacks.

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targetsbots@reddit

Split em in half... Two open sandwiches

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ButterscotchTop194@reddit

Yep, and then use a knife & fork.

Or just get a proper burger.

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3a5ty@reddit

Cut in half then eat with hands, not really hard. Can't believe you're upset by a large burger 🤣

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ButterscotchTop194@reddit

Just order two normal burgers

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3a5ty@reddit

Or just learn to eat a big burger and stop crying about it.

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ButterscotchTop194@reddit

I can't believe how upset you are that I don't like tower burgers. It's just personal preference, not an attack on your valour. Eat together burgers if you like, no-one will call you names for it.

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3a5ty@reddit

👍

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targetsbots@reddit

I like a big flat burger. These smash and tower burgers can FRO! I WANNA GRAB IT WITH BOTH HANDS AND NOM NOM NOM!

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Ok_Aioli3897@reddit

I had a smash burger once and it was the driest thing ever

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CraigTheBrewer12@reddit

it was the driest thing ever

Lots of places don’t actually make them properly, or with rubbish quality ingredients so they cover up how dry they are with 19 different sauces so you end up with a sloppy mess that immediately soaks through the bun.

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gyroda@reddit

There's also the middle ground of cutting it in half and then going in with the hands.

I'll also mention another aspect: bun integrity. Sometimes you get the burger and straight away you might as well be fingering the patty with how soaked and useless the bun is.

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rich_b1982@reddit

Usually happens with brioche. Pretzel buns are the way ahead.

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So_Southern@reddit

Same. I want to eat my burger, not wear it

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Matt-J-McCormack@reddit

Those burgers tend to skew towards the pink in the middle abomination… it’s not a steak and I’m sure as shit these people are not grinding mince to order 🤢.

Fuck tall burgers. Especially the undercooked ones.

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Ok_Aioli3897@reddit

I hate the feel of undercooked mince.

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Local_lifter@reddit

Sometimes you have to knock the tower over to make a start.

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Limp-Archer-7872@reddit

I may cut a vertically stupid burger in two.

Wetherspoons don't precut their pizzas, the animals.

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Euphoric_Rough_5245@reddit

Cut my burger in half then eat using hands, a pizza at home I slice into 8 pieces then eat unless I’ve dumped pasta salad on the top then I eat with a knife and fork

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ARobertNotABob@reddit

You want serious replies but include "as god intended", and you also advocate ... nay, invite ... the shaming of others.

I question if the motives are even intended as hilarious.

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HilariousMotives@reddit (OP)

How very dare you.

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Few_House_5201@reddit

Never eat a burger with anything but my hands. If it’s too big then I’ll take some toppings out and maybe eat them with a knife a fork.

Pizza can be knife and fork but only when it’s roo ludicrously thin to be held properly.

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DiskBytes@reddit

I like beefburger, never had one with ham.

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HilariousMotives@reddit (OP)

Fun fact: this week was the 30 year anniversary of Steamed Hams.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/1skwcu6/

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FluffyBunnyFlipFlops@reddit

Knife and fork, you peasant.

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HilariousMotives@reddit (OP)

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dwair@reddit

Generally with burgers, if it's not fast food and served on a plate, I'll dich the bun, scrape off the salad and stuff, and eat it with a knife and fork.

Pizza? Generally with my hands but I honestly don't eat it very often.

If i'm eating with my hands I do generally wash them. I have spent a lot of time in Africa, the Middle East and india / Pakistan where often cutlery isn't provided so well tuned into basic hygiene.

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LambonaHam@reddit

Chopsticks

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SkipsH@reddit

Fair and biased data gathering

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Vampzx@reddit

I use The Heavy Spoon!

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lennythebox@reddit

Im the guy who goes to a restaurant and east a calzone with his hands

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buy_me_a_pint@reddit

I prefer to eat a burger with a knife and fork

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GeekyGamer2022@reddit

That depends on the kind of burger being served.
If it's of normal size and can be easily picked up and eating without the need for rubber gloves and/or a flip-top head, then hands it is.
If it's one of those wanky gastro-pub style monstrosities with a tower of seemingly random fillings all spilling out over the sides and a burger the size and shape of a fucking cricket ball, it's a knife & fork job.

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Azirru@reddit

burger only by hand. pizza tho... depends on the mood, I do use cutlery sometimes, it might sound weird but it makes it a different culinary experience that I sometimes crave

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SnooDonuts6494@reddit

Do you eat steak with your hands as god intended?

It depends, doesn't it?

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Trick_Minute2259@reddit

I hate just cutting into it and chewing up whatever I end up with, or wasting meat rather than gnawing it all off of the gristle and bone. I only eat steak with a knife and fork when I have to for social reasons.

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SinsOfTheAether@reddit

Hands of course, but with a twist. literally. If you flip the burger upside down before eating it, you then have the thicker bread on the bottom and the ensenble is much less likely to disintegrate in your hands while eating

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Untrustworthy__@reddit

I use cutlery for everything pizza, burger, kebab, fish n chips.

My friends make fun of me but at least im civilised.

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hallerz87@reddit

I’ll cut a big burger in half and eat with hands. Pizza always with hands

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feetflatontheground@reddit

Both. Either. It depends. Where are we? How is it served? Are we seated at a table? Are we walking around mingling? What's the occasion?

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hassan_26@reddit

I was once eating chicken wings at Nandos with my hands and the old woman on the next table was staring at me as if I had just murdered her first born son.

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appletinicyclone@reddit

I break it shoddily into quarters and have it that way

But it's not really optimised to fit well if chunky and eaten by hand

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ljr69@reddit

I’ve smash it into my gob and eat as though there’s no tomorrow.

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autobulb@reddit

I will always use hands when given a chance. I'm convinced that eating with your hands makes food taste better. There's a good quote from the book Life of Pi where the protagonist who had grown up in India arrives in a western country after his ordeal:

The first time I went to an Indian restaurant in Canada I used my fingers. The waiter looked at me critically and said, "Fresh off the boat, are you?" I blanched. My fingers, which a second before had been taste buds savouring the food a little ahead of my mouth, became dirty under his gaze. They froze like criminals in the act. I didn't dare lick them. I wiped them guiltily on my napkin. He had no idea how deeply those words wounded me. They were like nails being driven into my flesh. I picked up the knife and fork. I had hardly ever used such implements. My hands trembled. My sambar lost its taste.

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Infamous_Telephone55@reddit

People look at me strangely in McDonald's when I pull out my knife and fork and plate but one has got to have standards, it's what separates us from those uncouth Amerricans.

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UniqueTart6744@reddit

I love a burger but I don’t care for brioche buns, so I take the top bun off and eat it with a knife and fork.

If it’s not a brioche bun, I eat the burger with my hands as god intended.

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Indigo-Waterfall@reddit

Depends on the size of the burger / how willing I am to get messy / how upmarket the setting / company I’m keeping at the time

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endianess@reddit

There is a middle ground. I had a work colleague who cut it in half with a knife and fork and then ate it with his hands. I don't do it but it kind of made some sense.

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Inkblot7001@reddit

Same as I eat cake, sausage rolls and my victim's limbs - knife and fork.

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K-Motorbike-12@reddit

Why don't we have Doofers I will never know.

Went to NZ, used one for the first time, and can't go back. We are living in the stone ages for burger consumption.

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SoggyWotsits@reddit

The only place that called burgers ‘hamburgers’ here is McDonald’s, because they’re American. If we’re talking about their tiny little thing they call a hamburger, I don’t think a knife and fork is necessary!

As for normal burgers, I’ll pick it up if I can get my teeth around it. If it’s one of those gigantic stacked things, I might use a knife and fork and dismantle it before eating it.

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cuppteaguv@reddit

Knife and fork. Ditto with pizza, chicken wings, etc. I don't mind eating with my hands, I just like winding up people like OP when eating in public.

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HilariousMotives@reddit (OP)

I would shake my fist at you if it wouldn't send my burger across the room.

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ContextRules@reddit

I use a knife and fork now simply because "god" intended it otherwise. Id rather be a fucking psychopath than go along with what you want people to do.

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HilariousMotives@reddit (OP)

Well, that told me.

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LadyAristocat@reddit

Hands for both! The only exception with pizza is if it’s at a Pizza Express

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msully89@reddit

Out of curiosity, why that exception?

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blindtig3r@reddit

They are covered in white sauce called the Prince Andrew special.

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LadyAristocat@reddit

No real reason other than just because they always give you cutlery…well that and I tend to get the one with the egg in the middle which would be hard to eat with hands alone

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Snaggl3t00t4@reddit

I use my feet like a good Christian.

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SmurfBiscuits@reddit

Standard burger? Hands.

One of those gourmet motherfuckers that requires skewers to keep the damn thing upright and is swimming in so many sauces it’s dissolving its own bun? Cutlery.

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toady89@reddit

If it's a burger that I'm going to visibly struggle to bite into then I'm going with the knife and fork, similarly if the pizza arrives uncut and is a proper Italian pizza then I'm using cutlery.

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mrpeagrub@reddit

Didn't realise there was so much snobbery over bloody burgers til I read these comments 😂🍔

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Thaddeus_Valentine@reddit

I've always thought people that cut burgers in half were crazy. Then I did it myself for the first time and the fucking ingredients just MAGICALLY stay put in their correct place, as opposed to when I pick the whole burger up and have to constantly fight to keep them all in the bun.

Now I feel like I'm insane too but at least insanity makes sense when you're inside it.

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Miserable-Rub-4053@reddit

Depends if it’s one of those ridiculous “gourmet” burgers that’s so full of ingredients that the bun disintegrates from all the moisture or not, kinda forces my hand at that point!

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1968Bladerunner@reddit

Burger always with hands, same with pizza if eaten on its own.

However, if I'm having pizza with my favourite side, coleslaw, I will knife & fork it all, as I'm going to need the latter for the coleslaw anyway.

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Badger-of-Briarwood@reddit

If I'm sitting down in a normal restaurant I always use a knife and fork for everything apart from soup and dessert. If I'm at a scuzzy fast food hole I might eat with my hands but only because the only cutlery available is plastic.

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Upbeat_Branch_4231@reddit

I use what ever is most convenient. A knife and fork frequently. I reject claims that I am a psychopath, I am actually diagnosed as an empath.

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Scotster123@reddit

Make burgers wider, not taller, and there is no excuse for not using your recently and meticulously washed hands.

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Wild-Individual6876@reddit

My wife eats hers with a knife and fork, explains a lot

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Diomidies@reddit

It definitely depends.

There's a place in Glasgow called Bread Meats Bread (it's so damn good) and they have a burger called the Luther Burger.

"Two caramelised glazed ring doughnuts, toasted and filled with a dry-aged beef cheeseburger and topped with candied bacon, spicy honey mayo and crispy onions. "

While typically I eat burgers with my hands this definitely requires a knife and fork unless you want super sticky fingers!

As for pizza, hands, every time. Some restaurants provide unsliced pizza with a knife and fork but I just cut it into slices and use my hands

.

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Diomidies@reddit

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joyousjoy23@reddit

Love that you backed up your reply with evidence ha, that looks lethally yummy.

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Diomidies@reddit

It really is.

If you're ever in Glasgow (I think there's one in Edinburgh too) it's definitely worth a visit 😋

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Gnomio1@reddit

My teeth don’t meet at the front, making cutting things off like pizza or burgers impossible.

So, knife and fork for pizza. Cut into halves/quarters for burgers.

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BarNo3385@reddit

Context dependent.

At home on the sofa, probably hands for both.

In a restaurant, generally knife and fork with both

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Buddy-Matt@reddit

With both you sometimes have no choice.

Taller but not wider burger aren't fitting in your mouth unless you go at them with the cutlery.

Pizzas where the base isn't structural risk the toppings rolling off.

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G-reeper66@reddit

It depends on who I am with, some people need to be aware I'm a psychopath occasionally

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Agitated-Equal-8162@reddit

If having a sit down meal in a pub/restaurant then I generally use knife and fork as most are so massive it turns into a clusterfuck trying to chomp on it.

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MeghanSOS@reddit

If its from a street vendor then with hands. But if you get a burger from a pub you basically have to use cutlery as their so big and hard to eat with just hands. But I honestly don't mind looking like a psychopath lmao

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Yellow_cupcake_@reddit

Cutlery for both burgers and pizzas, don’t care what anyone says

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VerbingNoun413@reddit

God's intentions were written in the context of ancient times in the 20th century where a hamburger was a patty in between a bun. It's just not applicable to modern nonsense full of bacon slices and onion rings that need to you unhinge your jaw.

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2BearsSoftware@reddit

You can insult me if you want but knife and fork with a pizza or burger makes it a meal.

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kiradax@reddit

Deoends how sloppy it is. For burgers if I can't fit my mouth around it it's getting split in half and becoming 2 open sandwiches which I do eat with a knife & fork. If a pizza is so saucy the cheese slides off when you pick it up it's also a knife & fork job

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Shoddy_Pilot_2737@reddit

Hands

Additionally, I'll put it on the floor and stand on it before I cut it in half.

Additionally, additionally, there is no such thing as a gourmet burger.

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Nevernonethewiser@reddit

In parts of Italy it's normal to eat a pizza with cutlery, so if I'm having something thin and Neapolitan I'll do that. Otherwise it's the old grab and fold for me.

Burgers are a weird one. It's hands all the way, but if it's one of the stupidly big ones some places pride themselves on I'll dismantle it a little bit, maybe cut it in half (which doesn't actually decrease the depth but I suppose it opens up new angles of attack?). I don't then consume it with cutlery, I just try my best.

I'm a fat lad, I've got practice.

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Paperopiero@reddit

I eat pizza with knife and fork, because I'm Italian and not an uncultured brethren

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WhiteDiamondK@reddit

Hamburger… if it is a big artisan hamburger where it’s stacked high, I normally cut it in half to make it manageable and then use my hard. A fast food-style burger is all hands.

Pizza. It depends on the style. American pizza, Pizza Hut, Dominies, Papa Johns etc is pre cut into triangle slices and designed to be eaten by hand.

If you were in Italy and had a real sourdough pizza, or even in the UK in a sourdough pizza joint, and you cut your pizza into trainable to eat by hand, you should have the pizza smacked out of your had immediately.

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Tonybham01@reddit

You ask for serious replies yet you are willing to demonise anyone who doesn’t go along with you and your god.

I seriously hope that your request is ignored.

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memojo1979@reddit

If the burger is too big to hold it without everything falling out, I'd cut it in half to make it easier, but I wouldn't use a knife and fork whilst actually eating it. My Mum (70s) prefers to eat pizza using cutlery, but I think that's a combination of age and location of childhood as she's from the South of England, but my Dad (also 70s) is from the Midlands, and he eats pizza without cutlery, like the rest of us.

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PsychologicalDrone@reddit

If it’s made with a damn brioche bun that falls apart after 10 seconds then knife and fork becomes necessary

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SomeHSomeE@reddit

Usually hands for both. Might use cutlery if either is a bit messy. Not an exciting answer I'm afraid!

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jay-ushhh@reddit

I've ate pizza with a knife and fork before because its just easier, especially depending on how floppy it is and whether I'm wearing white

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Lovecraftian666@reddit

Sometimes you need a knife and fork for a burger if it’s one of these restaurants that serve the huge ones you can’t take a normal bite of without it falling part.

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Wooshsplash@reddit

Can we open this up to the same question about pizzas?

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Educational_Worth906@reddit

I remember back in the Eighties, Pizza Hut used to advertise on TV that it was just like the USA except we eat the pizza with a knife and fork.

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Asuperniceguy2@reddit

If a burger is massive ill cut it in half before picking it up. I eat pizza with my hands but I'll have leftovers with a knife and fork because... I don't know why.

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RecurvedWax@reddit

If you want to bring god into this remember that it gave you free will! What you think is right is wrong to someone else and vice versa. But thinking you're right is what's make you wrong 🤔

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lotsohugginbear34@reddit

depends how easy a burger is to eat, sometimes they’re oversized and insane then i’ll use a knife and fork to deconstruct it into two edible pieces but then i go straight in with my hands

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hhfugrr3@reddit

Depends how big and/or sloppy the burger is. There aren't many burgers i can't get between my jaws but there are some. If they're really sloppy then I'm not interested in my hands being greasy or covered in sauce covered.

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Altruistic_Grocery81@reddit

I’d cut a burger in half then use my hands. I’d never use the cutlery to eat it.

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Dazz316@reddit

What's the purpose of that?

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Altruistic_Grocery81@reddit

Massive burgers tend to fall apart and slide apart?

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Dazz316@reddit

Not always, a good large burger won't be overly greasy and slimey but yeah if it's just slop, big or small, you need cutlery.

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NeitherBag4722@reddit

Went and stayed with family in America and this is how they did - that's good enough for me.

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SmugglersParadise@reddit

This is the way

Easier to eat and dip into a sauce too

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Bowzerthebrowser@reddit

This my my answer, sometime cut it into quatre if it's a monster but always eat with my hands. Tastes better when it's messy

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JeffSergeant@reddit

For massive burgers, i take layers out until I can eat what's left by hand, then eat the spare bits with a knife and fork.

Big burgers should be wide. Not tall.

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kbm79@reddit

When it comes with a mini flag and flag pole to hold it together, then its a knife and fork job. God did not intend the humble burger to require structural reinforcement.

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mcbeef89@reddit

Napoli style pizza has to be knife and fork. Roman or US styles: hands. Tall burger: cut in half then hands. Regular size: straight to hands.

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imtravelingalone@reddit

Cutting the big burgers in half is elite. They are just better this way.

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imtravelingalone@reddit

Well, since you mentioned hand-washing, I will start by saying that my disgusting landlord, and her son, do not wash hers after using the one shared toilet in the house. Before I realised this, I used to get sick quite often. Since I've started wiping everything I touch in the common areas with a anti-bac wipe before I touch it, I don't get sick anymore. I can't wait to move out next week.

Also I'm not a freak so I eat burgers and pizza with my hands. After washing them (hands not burgers).

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Embarrassed_Park2212@reddit

With my hands but I also turn the burger upside down. I don't know why but I always do it.

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BobDude65@reddit

I cut them in half if it’s massive but that’s the furthest I’ll go. Even if it’s not massive I might cut it in half to see the cross section if it’s a nice burger in a restaurant or something.

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lankymjc@reddit

If it’s a big burger (like you get at a nice pub) then I’ll cut it in half. Then it’s hands all the way.

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Dawningrider@reddit

Depends if I'm at a restaurant or a BBQ.

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No-Specialist787@reddit

Yeah, holding the knife like they hold a pen, wankers

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nicetoursmeetewe@reddit

Knife and fork for Pizza,same for big burgers

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ENNLRon@reddit

I don't know if is psychotic, but I eat mine upside down. The top bun is usually thicker than the bottom and a stronger "base" makes eating the burger less messy.

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Shadowmantha69@reddit

Both , cut it in half then pick it up

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CrustyHumdinger@reddit

Depends

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terahurts@reddit

Depends on the burger. If it's going to self-destruct and dump 2 litres of sauce, half a lettuce and assorted onions and gherkins all over my hands, chin, chest and crotch the moment I pick it up, then it's knife and fork all the way. A lukewarm bacon-double-cheese burger that's welded together with cheese slices? Hands.

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TheWhiteCrowUK@reddit

Knife and fork… wife says i’m so French….Well I am French 😭🤣

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Affectionate_You_858@reddit

Both my mam and gf will cut it in to quarters with a knife but then eat with their hands

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qqqqtip@reddit

i eat pretty much everything with a knife and fork

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ThrowawayParsnip5@reddit

I usually pick up my burger and then when it inevitably all starts falling apart/juices and sauces start dripping everywhere/ingredients fall out, I quickly move to fork and knife. I'm 40 and I'm very much at the 'aint nobody got time fo that' stage in my life. If it makes my life easier using cutlery for it, I really couldn't care if people judge me for it!

Mind you, I did hit a new low recently - was in McDonalds and I'd ordered whatever one of their current "new" burgers are, and it was a fucking nightmare to eat, I went through an insane amount of napkins (eventually by the end I had to hold what was remaining of it by napkin just to eat it) but I had a split second of thinking, 'wonder if they might have any plastic cutlery hidden anywhere I could ask for?' and realised immediately after the thought that I was considering eating my McDonalds with fucking cutlery. Sent me off on an existential spiral.

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musicfortea@reddit

Spoon only. Can't stand anything mucky on my hands, and I haven't used a knife/fork in years.

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paulcager@reddit

I put it all in a blender and have burger soup.

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CaptH3inzB3anz@reddit

LOL

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CaptH3inzB3anz@reddit

Burgers, I use my hands. Pizza, a knife and fork.

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Mortiis07@reddit

As a germaphobe I eat as little as possible with my hands

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Michael_of_Derry@reddit

If it's a massive burger and supplied with a steak knife, if will cut it in quarters and then eat the quarters with my hands. Otherwise all the fillings can fall out the back which would be a small tragedy.

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iamezekiel1_14@reddit

Cutlery. Here was my evening meal from Monday. I don't often get a burger out these days (probably a once or twice a month thing) & so far I'd say this was possibly my best one of the year so far

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cheese_bruh@reddit

Only pizza with a knife and fork if I’ve reheated it the next morning and it’s too soggy to hold in your hands

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Beartato4772@reddit

Normally hand but the problem is there's a trend for hamburgers to be taller than my house.

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roma79@reddit

I once saw a man eat a Snickers bar with a knife and fork

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AleGrisci@reddit

He may have dental issues and is restricted from biting. I have similar problems, and my dentist has forbidden me from using my front teeth to bite.

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ChartPimp@reddit

I've got braces so knife and fork for the next 6 months 🥲

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_isolati0n@reddit

I never knew this was a thing and I had braces for 3 years and never followed this rule!

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ChartPimp@reddit

Its only been a month so im being ultra careful!

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FelisCantabrigiensis@reddit

Hamburger: hands unless it's far too sloppy in which case utensils.

Pizza: ditto, but this happens more often than with hamburgers.

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dannylills8@reddit

Most burgers I disassemble and eat separately with my hands no knife and fork involved (weird I know) but pizza is a hands on affair.

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Plot-3A@reddit

I go with hands for both. If it's one of the tower burgers I eat top downwards. No point in showboating with cutlery.

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Sparko_Marco@reddit

Burger hands, pizza I've cooked myself a fork n knife because otherwise I burn the roof of my mouth, take away pizza hands.

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dogsandcigars@reddit

I either eat it all with my hands, or I cut it in half and then eat it with my hands.

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BasisOk4268@reddit

Traditionally pizza is eaten with a knife and fork in Italy just so you know

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Half_of_a_Good_Pen@reddit

If it's got no bun I'll eat it with a knife and fork. And for pizzas I will sometimes eat with a knife and fork if I'm too impatient to wait for it to cool down enough to pick it up with my hands

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CPD1960@reddit

I eat it with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

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GrouchPotato00@reddit

If a burger can’t be eaten with hands then it’s wrong but sadly massive burgers are a thing

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RaymondBumcheese@reddit

With my hands but then I have a big mouth. And I’m completely over the eight inch tall Filthy Whore Burger with Dirty Bitch Fries fad so I do sympathise with anyone who can’t dislocate their jaw like a snake and needs a knife and fork to eat one of the stupid things.

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alphahydra@reddit

I don't use cutlery for a burger if I can possibly help it.

But sometimes in restaurants you get handed one of those towering constructions that's held together with a wooden spike, is about 40% liquid and semi-solid components just ready to flood out the other side at the slightest pressure, and can't possibly fit inside an open human mouth without being broken down into manageable (but not finger-friendly) segments.

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migo_81@reddit

Even if it's too big to take a bite out of, I'm trying to unhinge my jaw like some kind of snake to take that bite

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_isolati0n@reddit

I always cut my burger in half then eat the 2 halves with my hands, unless it's some sloppy monstrosity that all falls apart and gets everywhere, then sometimes have to just resort to cutlery.

I always eat pizza with my hands with the exception of wetherspoons pizzas as they come uncut and I usually just use cutlery for them.

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PM-ME_UR_TINY-TITS@reddit

Hands like a normal rational human being.

Pizza I'll start eating with knife and fork with a restaurant until I get bored of it and return to shovelling it in my mouth at breakneck pace with my hands once more.

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Beneficial-Pitch-430@reddit

If normal then hands.

If the burger is massive or greasy then a knife and fork.

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Crazy-Finding-2436@reddit

Depends on size of burger then I would use cutlery to cut it in half if to big.

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Sea-Still5427@reddit

If I'm sitting down at a table with a proper plate, knife and fork. Takeaways, fast food or outdoors, it's hands.

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Available-Nose-5666@reddit

I use cutlery to eat pizza.

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Jarvisnamesake@reddit

For a burger I use my hands. And I turn it upside down, it’s usually less messy that way.

With a pizza slice, I fold it in half length ways so I can fit it in the dip pot

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Ok-Constant-2683@reddit

I eat beef burgers or chicken burgers

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TrepidatiousTeddi@reddit

Pizza, always use cutlery, I don't like getting the toppings all down my chin. Burgers, I usually use cutlery but it depends. I don't like getting mucky hands though.

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kirwanm86@reddit

I wouldn't say I'm a psycho...I just enjoy making people feel uncomfortable but it all depends on the venue.

If its McDonalds, then it'll be with my hands.

If it is an actual restaurant, then i'll do my best to make people uncomfortable by using a knife and fork.

Its the same with pizza, if its delivered, i'll use my hands. If i'm at a restaurant, then i'll use a knife and fork.

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Altruistic-Medium-23@reddit

If at a pub/restaurant I would use knife and fork but at a fast-food place I’d use my hands

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Whisky_Delta@reddit

My MIL fork and knifes everything and hates eating with her hands. HER mother apparently drilled into her that eating with your hands or on the street was “low class”.

I’m a filthy immigrant though and will attempt to taco-ise nearly any food so we don’t see eye to eye on this.

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VRS38@reddit

Hands, unless it's too big to even fit in my huge gob. Then it's time for a knife and fork.

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tt-23@reddit

I eat bun-less so I have to ask for a knife and fork in McDonald’s.

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FewAnybody2739@reddit

If the burger can't be eaten by holding it and biting it (too big, too drippy or whatever), it's a bad burger. I'd eat with a knife and fork only because I'm hungry, then I'm never going to that place again.

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Perfect_Ending7@reddit

The most delicious and best quality ones I’ve had have been a drippy and sometimes fall apart a little 😋

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ParsnipMammoth1249@reddit

This is one of them questions where you know what OP thinks is the right answer.

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Plus_Pangolin_8924@reddit

Both are always a hands on experience.

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Deep_Pepper_5405@reddit

With ahnds if it is takeaway/fast food. Knife and fork if I'm in a restaurant

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FluidSaint@reddit

As god intended.

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CarrotBusiness6255@reddit

I have never seen a person in my entire life use cutlery for a burger

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EnjoysAGoodRead@reddit

Knife and fork. Can't stand the idea of getting messy fingers while I'm eating. And I only ever eat burgers at bbqs or restaurants (I don't eat fast food) so hands would look weird/be horrible to deal with.

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ArgumentativeNutter@reddit

i won’t use my hands to eat a chocolate bar, sorry for enjoying my dessert

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Icy_Mixture1482@reddit

My sister lived in Italy for a while so she forbade me from eating pizza with my hands.

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Opposite_Funny9958@reddit

Depends on the burger and pizza - pizza in Zizzi’s? Cutlery. MaccyD’s hands.

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craptainbland@reddit

I use my hands for both

But also I may not be the best example because I’ve taken to eating as much as possible with my hands (when I’m on my own I mean)

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Keinix22@reddit

Who calls it a hamburger these days ? 🤣

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KeyJunket1175@reddit

If its a fancy pizza I eat it with knife and fork. If it is just a Dominos or similar garbage I just it eat slice by slice.

Same goes for the burger. Typically if the burger is from a decent place it will be too big to take a bite out of. In those cases the burger typically comes with a knife in the bun.

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darrnl@reddit

Depends how I’m feeling and how girthy the burger is

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NoisyGog@reddit

It depends. Normal burgers, absolutely with my hands, every time.
However. There’s a pub round the corner that does wonderful burgers, but they’re so chaotically massive that trying to eat one with your hands is foolhardy at best, and guaranteed to fail. There’s just too much in them, and there’s no possible way of securing them with your hands (even with my big coal shovels) that makes any sense.

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