I have neighbor problems. I've mentioned a few over the years in here. Two weeks ago, I had my grandson set out a dozen eggs in a place where they get sunlight every day. It's been warm enough that they are probably ready but I'm giving them another week before they become launched rotten bombs.

They are nasty. The neighbor these are for is having battles with a guy across the street. I won't be suspected. I had the same grandson pour fertilizer in his yard behind us in the shape of a penis a few years back. He raised hell about that and called the police blaming another neighbor whose property borders his.

Last week I ordered a gallon jug of neon pink glitter. We dumped it in the road in front of his driveway. It has spread for 2 blocks in both directions leading from his house. He does suspect us of that. I used to grow long beards. My granddaughters made glitter beards sometimes.