At what age gap do Americans start seeing a relationship as weird or problematic?
Posted by Sea_Raisin_7632@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 130 comments
I’m Spanish, and something happened that got me thinking about cultural differences.
I’m 27, and I once showed interest in a Brazilian girl who was 18. She called me a “pedophile,” even though she’s legally an adult. That really surprised me.
I’ve also noticed that some Americans seem uncomfortable with relationships between adults when there’s a bigger age gap.
So I’m curious: is this just a minority opinion, or do a lot of Americans actually see age gaps like 27 and 18 as wrong or creepy, even when both are adults?
Is this more of a cultural thing depending on the country?
catswithbatsandhats@reddit
An age gap matters to most people when there's an imbalance of power, a huge difference in life experience, or the possibility of abuse.
If someone is only 18-20 years old they are barely an adult and in most cases are not very experienced or don't have the means take take care of themselves. A 25+ year old has a power imbalance in most situations involving someone under 21. A 30 year old and a 50 year old are probably compatible, a 30 year old and an 80 year old brings up concerns that there could be elder abuse going on.
It's really about the consequences of the age gap and not the gap itself.
Sea_Raisin_7632@reddit (OP)
But that’s actually a good thing, because the younger one learns from the older one.
Brazilian women from Rio Grande do Sul, and from São Paulo where The Weeknd had his show in Brazil, are extremely beautiful, they’re surreal.
In Mexico I also hooked up with a 19-year-old girl there, life is like that, light and free. Latinas and European women have the same level of beauty, but Latinas are more militant.
This 18-year-old girl from Brazil who rejected me is clueless.
holymacaroley@reddit
Gross.
Sea_Raisin_7632@reddit (OP)
Disgust because I’m praising Latin culture?
shelwood46@reddit
If you are saying all Latin men are predators, then you are the racist, bud.
Baroque_Hologram@reddit
Thinking teenagers are hot isn’t culture my dude. Go to therapy for your porn addiction.
Baroque_Hologram@reddit
It gets worse
shelwood46@reddit
No, that is not a good thing, That is why people think you are a creep.
salbrown@reddit
This comment is creepy as fuck man. The fact that you don’t want a woman who can stand on equal ground with you is kind of telling.
Sea_Raisin_7632@reddit (OP)
Are you bothered by me saying that Latina women are beautiful? Am I the one who’s prejudiced or crazy? You’re the ones being prejudiced.
Help1Ted@reddit
This! This is exactly why it’s looked down upon. You’ve answered your own question. Grooming is what you’ve described here.
manicpixidreamgirl04@reddit
There are situations where it's great for an 18 year old to learn from a 27 year old : As family members, as coworkers, as platonic friends. But romantic partners should see each other as equals.
Pernicious_Possum@reddit
No, it’s not. A romantic partner isn’t there to teach a younger partner. That’s called grooming. You’re just a small man that can only handle a woman he can manipulate
anneofgraygardens@reddit
The fact that you want to "teach" your partner is really creepy. You should be on an equal level with your partner. But given how you talk about women in this comment, I'm not surprised this is how you think.
gretschocaster@reddit
Good lord man
catswithbatsandhats@reddit
I wasn't thinking you're a creep just because you hit on a 18 year old but this whole comment is a red flag
slopgus@reddit
You sound obnoxious
nakedonmygoat@reddit
This is the answer. I hope OP reads it.
shelwood46@reddit
It depends on the age of the younger person, and also the relationship dynamic. A 27-year-old dating an 18-year-old is nearly always seen as problematic. Someone who is almost 30 should not have much in common with someone who may still be in high school.
Baroque_Hologram@reddit
Did you think lowering your age from 27 to 29 from your earlier posts would make a difference in opinions?
From_Ice_To_Salt@reddit
Large age gaps are only okay when the younger person is over 25 and has a fully developed brain. (The pre-frontal cortex, which is responsible for making decisions, is the last part of the brain to finish developing around age 25.)
18 year olds may be legally adults, but they are literally still growing. There's no magic transformation that happens on 18th birthdays making children suddenly wise and mature and experienced in life. Focusing on the legality only is gross.
Otherwise-OhWell@reddit
Half your age plus 7 is the minimum acceptable age gap.
Baroque_Hologram@reddit
Being nearly 30 and wanting to date someone fresh out of high school is weird, dawg
Plus_Carpenter_5579@reddit
Today's younger people seem to not know that 18 is an adult.
steviehatillo@reddit
You don’t wake up on your 18th birthday a whole different person. An 18 year old is closer in maturity to a 16 year old than they are to a 30 year old. Yes they’re an adult but like most things, there’s nuance involved and people shouldn’t act like it’s black and white.
Plus_Carpenter_5579@reddit
I started college at age 16. This was in the 80s when the drinking age went from 18 to 19 to 21, right ahead of me. 18 can vote, and be drafted. Adult. Drinking age was raised to save lives, not so a 27 year old man could not pick up an 18 year old in a bar. ...I did kinda turn down an 18 year old when I was 24. Because of her age. What was I thinking?
JudgeWhoOverrules@reddit
The universal rule is half your age plus 7 years
quitealargeorangecat@reddit
Except if you’re under 25. I’m 21 and I wouldn’t date a 17 year old!
DosZappos@reddit
I think 21 (in America) is a big barrier. I remember being 21 and trying to date a girl who was 20 and her not being able to go out to bars was a bigger deal than anything else
Mediocre_Length_9526@reddit
So if u are 20 it’s alright to date a 17?
Gabbiani@reddit
I think in that in-between stage it depends a lot on the people involved.
There is a 3 year gap between myself and my husband- but we met in HS and were friends before we dated. (Started dating when I was like 16.5)
I was also genuinely more mature for my age than others around me because I was already working as many hours as I could manage and was responsible for covering the bulk of my own expenses while also giving money to my parents. I also have an older brother who is barely younger than him so it didn’t seem as odd to have a relationship with someone effectively my older brother’s age.
My now husband was a bit less mature, but still was a pretty good guy and a massive dork. He was actively working and starting community college and honestly had zero rizz nor interest in finding other girls to woo.
Now, we did have a few breaks here and there in our relationship but we ended up deciding that we still wanted to date the other person.
We also knew that we were young and our goals might not always sync so we decided to have a long trial period / engagement between when we moved in together (I was 20) and when we got married (25). (I did end up calling off our engagement for a while too, and we got counseling together to work through some things)
Now I’m 42, we have 2 kids and we have built a nice little life for our family.
My parents had an 11 year gap between them and my mom was still kinda young when they got married within a year after meeting (she was mid 20s).
Would I want my child dating a senior when they are a sophomore in HS… ehhhhh it’s not my favorite idea - but like I said, every person is a bit different.
spintool1995@reddit
Yes
DosZappos@reddit
Technically illegal but way less weird than 27-18
Mediocre_Length_9526@reddit
To me it depends on the situation. They could have been dating when the 20 was 17 and the 17 was 14. High school sweethearts type.
I personally wouldn’t but I wouldn’t be bothered by 2 people making that choice
Cache-Cow@reddit
Barney Stinson rule
EngineVarious5244@reddit
It was totally around before that, though.
werduvfaith@reddit
That's not a rule, it's something someone made up.
DosZappos@reddit
Sorta like every rule ever
Upstairs_Barnacle322@reddit
Anything that is more than 10 years it should be illegal in any place of the world in my opinion
Potential-Leg-9300@reddit
Half your age plus 7.
protossaccount@reddit
This is a good gauge. I’m divorced and I’m about to be 42. I don’t think anyone below 28 is a good idea for me. I’m also at the age where women 30+ are stupid hot because I can relate to them more.
kea1981@reddit
I'm a woman about to be 35, and I genuinely can't understand how any of my peers would want to date someone who's 25. Like, under 30 at all seems sketch to some degree.
elenchusis@reddit
And if you have to do the math to see if she qualifies, better to just move on.
CROBBY2@reddit
This is always the answer. 20-17, 30-22, 40-27, 50-32. All of the work.
TheDadThatGrills@reddit
This should be the globally accepted standard
CollenOHallahan@reddit
I was going to answer the older you get, the more acceptable the gap. But that equation accounts for that.
Firefly_Magic@reddit
The half +7 rule accounts for that
Cache-Cow@reddit
The Barney Stinson rule.
Drew707@reddit
This only really applies when you are over a certain age. When I was 20 I was dating someone 19, and the moment I turned 21, logistics became a nightmare. Not to mention the rule as followed would've been a bit sus.
Northman86@reddit
unless your rich, or poor, in which case 18.
Drew707@reddit
Or if you are Leonardo DiCaprio, 27.
Northman86@reddit
probably has more to do with him never learning to be an adult, and women not putting up with it even his wealth.
nisgodRN@reddit
The only correct answer
OldFoolOldSkool@reddit
Correct
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
This is the answer.
1ceknownas@reddit
There's a maturity and life stage aspect to it as well.
At 18, most American people are still living with their parents or have freshly moved out to go to college. They are freshly out of high school. They may not have ever had a serious relationship. A good portion of them have never had sex. They're adults, but usually quite immature.
By 27, most Americans will have had nearly a decade in the workforce or have graduated from college and have been working for a few years. They've likely been through at least one long-term relationship. Many of them live alone or with roommates. They may have lived with a ronantic partner for some time.
We consider it a red flag because 18-year-olds tend not to recognize toxic or abusive behavior early on. They may think it's normal for a romantic partner to be controlling, to track them through GPS, to demand a lot of attention or 'respect', to be treated poorly as long as their partner apologizes because 'relationships take work.' 18-year-olds tend not to have much money compared to someone older, so they may be more likely to rely on an older person for financial support
Also, what does someone in their late 20s have in common with a brand new adult? We ask why they can't date someone their own age? Are people their own age wise to their antics?
So, it isn't that age gap relationships never work out. I wouldn't blink twice at someone 42 dating someone 33.
But there's, realistically, a certain type of man who hangs around or is extra friendly with young women, dates them for a few months or a couple of years, uses them for sex and an ego trip, acts like a psycho, then dumps them for someone younger. And they do this repeatedly until they knock someone up or just get too old to attract the age of women they like.
So, we tell young women to watch out for those guys because they act perfectly nice and respectful until they don't, and you can't tell who's a creep and who isn't by just looking at them.
Also, just date women your own age, dude.
wehobrad@reddit
It's legal and people over 18 should be able to date anyone they want. However they are in different stages in life and probably have very little in common.
MsPandaLady@reddit
So its not just age gap for us but also how old are you guys. A 9 year gap isn't by itself bad. If you were 36 and she was 27 then it would be more acceptable but to American you are basically "plucking" them out right at HS.
To be honest, as someone who dated guys well over what I should have when I was that age, guys that I dated fell into two camps. Either they were really immature and didn't have their life together(like an 18 year) or they preferred 18 year old because they were easier to control.
At 27 you should be at a different point in your life than an 18 year old in such a way that dating an 18 year old is more of a bother because of how immature and how not together their life is.
Verandah_Santa@reddit
It’s April, so if she’s 18 this time of year she is IN high school!
hotlettucediahrrea@reddit
I work with sex offenders. While I don’t think you fit the definition of a pedophile, I do believe that particular age gap is predatory, and I’d love to know what do you think you could possibly have in common with an 18 year old, or how the innate power differential between two people ages 18 and 27 would be healthy in a romantic relationship.
Most young adults do a lot of changing and maturing between 16-25. I’d say in that time period an age gap of more than 3-4 years (depending on where you both are in that range) is not appropriate. I’ll also point out that there’s a difference between sexual deviancy (like pedophilia) and sexually inappropriate behavior. For example, it would not be considered sexually deviant for a 27 year old adult to be physically attracted to a 17 year old, but it is still sexually inappropriate and predatory.
As we get older, the age gap matters less and less - a 25 year old and 35 year old is a large gap (IMO), but there’s likely been enough adult life experience for the 25 year old to navigate the relationship successfully. For a couple who is 30 and 40, respectively, the age gap is less relevant and the power dynamic between those ages is pretty equal.
I think many cultures like to pretend that age gaps, particularly for young girls and women, is normal and acceptable, but it’s really not. I would encourage you to think about how you were at 18 - minimal adult life experience, capacity for critical thinking and social awareness, etc., and compare that to how you are at 27. It’s a completely different world between those two age groups.
Bluemonogi@reddit
The younger one of the people is and the bigger the age gap the ickier it is seen. An 18 year old with someone older than them by more than 6years is probably where people’s comfort level starts to get tested.
A 30 year old dating a 40 or 50 year old may not cause any comment at all even though it is a bigger age gap.
If you have grown kids and you are trying to date or marry someone close to your kid’s age it is kind of seen as icky.
An 80 year old dating a 30 year old probably makes one of them look predatory.
Life-Food5188@reddit
for OP’s actual question: 18 and 27 is not great! two years ago this person was a child and you were 25. it’s not the 9 year gap that’s the problem, it’s the fact that this person is 18.
in general, power imbalance + the chance for abuse/grooming is the big reason large age gap stuff is frowned upon. if someone is 36 and dates a 29 year old, they’re at similar life stages, they’re both adults, etc. no one really cares.
now if someone is 42 and dates a 19 year old, while legal, we tend to think the older person has more money, power, life experience and so on, so we worry the younger person is being taken advantage of. fair or not.
Verandah_Santa@reddit
It’s not the age gap, it’s the fact that you are a grown ass man and she is a LITERAL TEENAGE GIRL.
You are almost definitely in totally different phases of your lives. She is in high school and you are old enough to have a college degree and salary job for several years. Your friends are (probably) nearly 30 and hers are IN HIGH SCHOOL!
Are you technically a pedophile based on being interested in that 18 year old high school student? Not by the literal definition of pedophilia, but the fact that you are romantically interested in a teenager is definitely inappropriate and considering the fact that a few months ago she was “not legal” it’s impossible to believe that you would have drawn a hard line and NOT been interested in her just because of some law that says she “isn’t a legal adult”. Nobody’s sexual attractions are influenced by legal documents, so a grown ass man being into teenaged girls is disgusting and predatory no matter what laws are on the books.
VentusHermetis@reddit
That girl was crazy. I think most people irl wouldn't care, but reddit has really weird opinions on this topic.
AbortDatShit@reddit
Americans aren't a monolith. I have zero problems with a 27 year old dating an 18 year old. Other Americans might balk at that
Lightningtow123@reddit
Age is like minimum wage. If you get paid minimum wage/a 27yo dates an 18yo, you know the only reason they don't go lower is because they're legally not allowed to
spintool1995@reddit
Well, they are legally allowed to in 25 states.
AbortDatShit@reddit
That's fine with me, they're still both adults
quitealargeorangecat@reddit
There’s a huge power imbalance there.
AbortDatShit@reddit
Don't care, they're both adults
UbeKatsu_711@reddit
18 is a recently graduated high schooler who has barely learned anything about adulting. Yes it’s creepy
UnicornPencils@reddit
Even worse, they wouldn't necessarily be graduated, they could easily be a current high schooler.
At least in the US, a lot of students turn 18 at some point during their last year of high school. It will vary by age cutoff dates in every district and stuff like that, but that's the more common scenario.
KTeacherWhat@reddit
Or someone still in high school. Which is even more creepy.
manicpixidreamgirl04@reddit
This sub is about the US, so most of us can't speak for what's acceptable in Brazil. In English, we use a 7 continent model, and the collective term for North and South America is 'The Americas'. 'America' refers to the United States of America.
But a relationship between a 27 year old and an 18 year old would be seen as weird here too.
0utlaw-t0rn@reddit
It’s really about life stages.
High school, college, young adult, settled adult, retiree. As long as you’re within that same stage it’s usually fine.
Ok_Dog_4059@reddit
10 years is probably less of the problem in your situation than the idea that she only just became legal. Especially if she had only just turned 18 she could feel like she is still basically a high-school kid and is being hit on by an adult.
I could be way off but 18 -27 feels like a bigger gap than say 25 - 34.
My wife and I are only 5 years apart but thinking about 13 and 18 or her getting her license at 16 when I was already 21 makes even a few years feel huge
Mayor_of_BBQ@reddit
18 and 27 is creepy
27 and 36 is not
this may be skewed to ask americans because in spain it’s not uncommon for a 27yr old man to still live with his mommy
skaliton@reddit
OP generally there isn't age difference specific rule.
Let's look at where the 2 of you are in life. At 27 you are done with college, likely over the 'party life' or aging out of it, maybe you are early in your career. She is likely in high school or just starting college.
the 9 year gap matters now because of the difference in stages of life. If you were 36 and she was 27 no one would find it abnormal in the slightest
HorseFeathersFur@reddit
Yes it’s considered kind of gross being that you are in completely different stages of life and maturity at those ages. The brain stem does not stop developing until around the age of 25. Basically you are dating a teenager who has just gotten out of high school. What on earth would you have in common with her?
eirissazun@reddit
They're often even thinking 18 and 22 is "concerning". So yes.
EngineVarious5244@reddit
In English, we don't usually use "think" in the progressive like this bc it's considered a "stative verb," meaning it describes a state rather than an action. You'll hear "She's thinking..." or "I'm thinking..." but this is colloquial and usually describes making a choice between options.
And you seem pretty confident about what you know about other people's culture to be answering for us lmao. Are you basing this off Reddit? Bc it's a known Reddit/social media/Gen Z thing that people are weird about lol. Probably bc, like the guy down thread said, Redditors are the people who wore capes to high school.
turingtestx@reddit
18 year olds are still in high school dude, yeah it's legal but why on earth would you want to date an immature teenager
PJASchultz@reddit
Half + 7 is the creepy/not creepy line.
Remote_Ocelot9600@reddit
My late wife was slightly older than me.
Two consenting adults and all that. The issue becomes if they knew the other before 18, sought out someone young to manipulate them, etc. Otherwise, as long as everyone is kind, loving and good to each other, be happy!
squidkyd@reddit
There's a difference between what's legal, and what's normal/appropriate. In America, at least, a 27 year old is in a completely different stage of life than an 18 year old.
An 18 year old may still be in high school or may have just finished. They have significantly less life experience. They can't legally drink yet. Their brain isn't fully developed. Therefore, the chance of them being taken advantage of is much greater.
Meanwhile, typically a 27 year old has been in the workforce for at least 5 years, has an extra decade of adult experiences to learn from, has a much more developed brain, and in most cases is significantly more mature.
I'm 29, and while I like a lot of people in their late teens and early twenties, their immaturity is evident, and for me, at least, is not attractive.
I usually assume when I see age gaps that big that either the relationship is a tad predatory, or alternatively, the 27 year old is in a state of arrested development and emotionally immature so that a teenager feels more like an equal peer to them.
That fades of course, the older you get. For instance I don't look twice at a 30 year old and 40 year old starting a relationship, or even a 50 year old dating a 75 year old. It's mostly about brain development. Same reason a 14 year old dating an 18 year old would get side eyed, but not a 28 year old dating a 32 year old.
Penguin_Life_Now@reddit
It depends, though I am in my 50's and have noticed that age gaps that were generally acceptable when I was younger are no longer seen as socially acceptable today. For example when I was in high school in the mid 1980's it was somewhat common for 16 and 17 year old girls to have boyfriends that were 20-25 years old.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Yup. Were we more mature than today's teens you think? I feel like we grew up faster for sure.
DharmaCub@reddit
And segregation was common when my dad was a kid, but it's definitely not acceptable today.
No_Information_8973@reddit
I graduated in 81 and it was the same for us. No one thought it was a big deal at that time.
Firefly_Magic@reddit
The age matters the closer to being a minor. The older both people are, the more the age gap doesn’t matter. 1/2 your age + 7 is a good reference tool.
dr_stre@reddit
Others have covered it. I just want to note might if you knew the girl was 18 when you made your advance, that’s weird. There is a world of difference between a 27 year old and an 18 year old.
JohnHenryMillerTime@reddit
The US is very generationally segregated. Middle school is distinct from high school. High School is distinct from college. College is distinct from post-college. There is a lot weird with is, it moralizes education and denigrates blue collar work in a way that German (and much of Europe but I've got a limited perspective) doesn't. As primarily a USian, the German view of 21 year olds banging 14 year olds and that was not only acceptable but laudable was not in line with my values.
I do think the general trend of making age distinct relationships suss is a good thing. Like, I knew a lot of girls in American HS who would date "really mature guys" who live in really shitty apartments with matrasses on the floor above a shitty bar as "deeply adult".
Like most intersectional things it is a whole ball of wax. What is and is not acceptable is going to be a squishy ball that varies from country to country. Us has a narrower range until you hit your 20s and 30s.
FunImprovement166@reddit
This is Reddit. The people here were the people in high school who wore capes to class. No sense in asking relationship focused questions here.
quitealargeorangecat@reddit
Most reasonable people would think that someone almost in their 30s shouldn’t be dating someone that could still be in high school.
quitealargeorangecat@reddit
Most reasonable people would think that someone almost in their 30s shouldn’t be dating someone that was very recently a minor.
AgreeableCommission7@reddit
It so various, some people dont care other think anything beyond a 5 year difference is gross.
DepthPuzzleheaded494@reddit
At 27 what are you doing trying to pick up an 18 year old, nah that is weird.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Wasn't when I was 18, but I suppose things have changed.
throwraW2@reddit
Def weird. I remember when I was 25 I went out with a 22 year old new grad and realized how that’s just too young for me now. Just stages of life are way off. Pedo isn’t appropriate , but def weird.
Aggressive_Power_471@reddit
I never went more than 6 years younger and 8 years older. Anything else seemed wrong to me.
protossaccount@reddit
It’s who you match up with maturity wise. If you’re 27 and you’re into an 18 year old I bet it’s not her intelligence that drew you in. I’m not hating on 18 year olds, I’m questioning someone 27 that thinks they are on the small level. Sounds like the 27th at old doesn’t know themself very well (no hate, I got married to the wrong person at 28, cuz I was a fool).
DharmaCub@reddit
Yes, hitting on an 18 year old at 27 is creepy.
Ok_Art4661@reddit
18 to death. Americans are dumb it doesn't matter
Phoenix_Court@reddit
There's no hard and fast rule, different Americans will give you a different number. Generally speaking, the older the younger party is, the less problem people have with it.
The issue comes from two places.
1) was the younger party a minor when the couple met? That is a major no-no here. If you meet someone who is a minor and then wait for them to become an adult, that is seen as grooming.
2) stage of life and power imbalance. A 27 year old doesn't have anything in common with an 18 year old. Mentally, developmentally, socially, anything. A guy nearing 30 who is going after a young girl would pretty much be seen as "what's wrong with him, why don't women his own age want to date him?". It would be assumed he is a creeper who is trying to take advantage of her youth and naivity.
A 20 year old and 45 year old are both adults, but are in totally different stages of life so their relationship is very weird. There's often a power imbalance or even some level of grooming because young adults are still impressionable even after turning 18. Whereas someone 50 and someone 65 theres no real power imbalance and they're often in similar stages of life, so that age gap isn't seen as weird usually.
Help1Ted@reddit
If you were 47 and she was 38 no one would bat an eye. So it’s not necessarily the age gap. At 18 most people still aren’t quite as sure about life.
Mindfullysolo@reddit
If your bar is “legally an adult” you might want to reassess what you are looking for. This seems predatory, I don’t think it’s cultural.
Lucky_Republic_9701@reddit
Anywhere above the age of consent depending on the state is fine don’t let these people tell you there are rules
Ok_Caterpillar2010@reddit
I think the exact number of years matters less and less as you get older. There's a developmental difference between an 18-year-old and a 27-year-old -- brain development, life experience, often education -- that isn't there between a 40-year-old and a 49-year-old.
It's not so much the age gap as the experience and development gap.
werduvfaith@reddit
As long as both are adults, it's none of anyone else's business.
Some users on Reddit have an unhealthy obsession with trying to dictate who OTHER PEOPLE dare.
Angry_GorillaBS@reddit
On Reddit everything is problematic. You're 3 hours older, how dare you.
In actuality, most don't care, nor should they.
Exciting-Pie7802@reddit
It's changed in the past 25-30 years. When I was 19-20 I dated a 40 year old, 48 year old, and my husband I met when I was 21 and he was 36. This was late 90s. My mom was the one who set me up with the 48 year old, she had no issues with it. Thinking back I now know all of the men were creeps, and my ex husband was a piece of work.
HumbleLife69@reddit
Ok Epstein
No-Performer-6621@reddit
I think it kinda depends on the stage of life each person is in and not necessarily age.
Example: a 64 year-old dating a 50 year-old wouldn’t be too weird. They’d both have years of experience, financial independence, have an equal power dynamic in the relationship, and be in a similar chapter of life.
18 to 27 is a bit different. The 18 year-old has had very little to no adult life experience compared to a 27 year-old. Finances, level of education, and power dynamic would presumably be skewed between the individuals. Plus, the idea of “barely legal” is also taboo (less than a year ago, dating the now 18 year-old would have been inappropriate/illegal), so you’ve got that too.
DojaViking@reddit
I occasionally get flak for my relationship as well. My girlfriend's 28, I'm 42. So if you go by the half your age plus seven, she's barely making it. But we're happier than most couples and have no issues.
Individual_Check_442@reddit
I don’t consider it wrong or creepy, but sometimes older men seek out younger women because they think they’ll be easier to dominate. Certainly not a “perophile”. Let’s say if I was the father of an 18F that you were dating I’d have some concerns but I’d give you a chance!
cappotto-marrone@reddit
Well, fortunately she clearly signaled she was too immature for a relationship.
My husband I have a 10 year age difference. I was 24 and he was 34 when we married 43+ years ago.
StyleConnect7820@reddit
Half his age of 34 equals 17 plus 7 equals…24. QED
twaggle@reddit
Is weird because once you’re 27 the majority of people see an 18 year old as a high schooler.
Exact_Friendship_502@reddit
Creeping on 18 year olds is pedo behavior.
Are they technically legal? Sure.
You could also drink a scotch at 3 years, but anyone worth a damn wouldn’t touch it until it was twelve.
Dave_A480@reddit
The younger generations - especially very-online people - get freaked out over anything more than a year...
Most of the rest of us think they are nucking-futs, and the rule 'should be' '18 or older is an adult, at that point it's your call'.
Also note that I am happily married to a woman 2 yrs older than myself, and not looking to chase 18yo ass.
bgdv378@reddit
More than 10 years.
little_runner_boy@reddit
It depends. Some stick to a few years (like 5 or so) others see no problem as long as both are 18+
Stressed_C@reddit
27 and 18 is creepy no matter where you are
IngenuityExpress4067@reddit
It depends on stage of life. There is less of a difference at 54 and 44 than 28 and 18.
Fun-Yellow-6576@reddit
Yes, a 27 y/o man wanting to date an 18 y/o girl is concerning AF! 27 y/o men should date women no more than 2-3 years younger than them.
Apprehensive_Emu7973@reddit
It is viewed as creepy because age gaps this big in this age range typically mean the two people have a big difference in life experience, which can be used to take advantage of the younger person.
Beneficial_Layer2583@reddit
It’s not so much about the gap, it’s about the age of the younger person.
30 year old dating a 50 year old? Idgaf.
27 and 18? Yeah that’s fucking disgusting. That’s a high schooler.
shammy_dammy@reddit
It's on the edge for me. Especially with an 18 year old. Legally an adult, yes, sure. Otherwise...eh. I do kind of wonder what you did/said to get that blunt a response from her but it sounds like she made her stance very clear.
22ndCenturyHippy@reddit
Bruh in highschool you were looked at as a pedophile for dating only 1 grade below but thats a small town of 30k for ya
utilityscarf@reddit
18 vs 27 would be concerning anywhere