ULPT: landlord is going to tour apartments - how to hide giant fish tank
Posted by caspersmindpalace@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 190 comments
We aren’t renewing our lease, so our landlord is going to start hosting tours for our unit. He’ll give us 24-48 hours notice, but we still have an issue. We have a 75gal fish tank and a large canister filter. We cannot have aquatic animals in the apartment. He’s going to start tours next week.
EonOst@reddit
Remember to stage a smelly "accident" to cover the smell. No way you cannot smell a fish tank.
Best_Market4204@reddit
You're already leaving
Wtf is the landlord going to do? Lol
AmexNomad@reddit
Deposit?
questionablejudgemen@reddit
He’s gonna get upset and not cash your rent checks!
Yeah, who cares, you’re out anyway. If he says anything be like, I’m moving out anyway.
Yaarn@reddit
I've only read the title and I'm laughing at the situation.
bamsurk@reddit
Whatever you do please share a photo because it’s going to look ridiculous
Ok-Calligrapher-8028@reddit
Following
VER-1989@reddit
Same
kawaiian@reddit
Cover with a nice tablecloth, frame a picture of a granny, put a vase that looks like an urn, put some flowers and fairy lights around it
caspersmindpalace@reddit (OP)
Why are you guys all so good at this dammit.
kawaiian@reddit
RIP grandma Bernice 🙏
ohhellopia@reddit
She was built like a tank.
Ashamed_Confusion842@reddit
You made me laugh. Thank you, stranger.
BrainznBodiez@reddit
Leave the light on, so she has a place to go.
conservitiveliberal@reddit
That sounds fishy
michaelcuz@reddit
And smelled like fish
peacenchemicals@reddit
LMAOO legit lol’d
DueCommunication9157@reddit
I burst out laughing. Funniest shit I've read all week .
Caspers_@reddit
Yall gotta stop im dying laughing at this bar
Several_Mousse_9485@reddit
Bernice passed?!
kawaiian@reddit
She seemed like she was getting betta 😞 🐟
_heidin@reddit
Now she's sleeping with the fish 😞
Infamous-Antelope-@reddit
Hhhahahah
caspersmindpalace@reddit (OP)
I cackled in a coffee shop thank you for this
NeedsMoreYellow@reddit
Don't forget the electric fountain so that the water sounds are accounted for.
krn619@reddit
Good idea. I was going to suggest a speaker next to the “urn”. Play ocean and wave sounds. Say grandma loved the beach. 🏖️
petals4u2@reddit
As soon as they knock on the door, unplug it. Fish can last 7 hours or more without it.
CNAHopeful7@reddit
Take my award!! This is great!
kawaiian@reddit
You are too kind, I will put this on the display next to her photo 🙏 💕
SunRemiRoman@reddit
Lmao
18_is_a_teen@reddit
Lmao
GapingBuhhole@reddit
^all that^ + a 40oz, + bullet casings, all alongside the picture of granny to add extra reasoning to not ask questions about Granny.
Or a printed quote like "I got techniques drippin out my butt cheeks. Sleep on my stomach, so I don't fuck up my sheets" ~Gma
xtrenix@reddit
Did you make that up?? Lol this is awesome
GapingBuhhole@reddit
Haha I made up the concept parts up but the quote is from the gem of a song called Ready to Die by Biggie 😂
bukowskisbabushka@reddit
Also put a Bluetooth speaker playing water noises nearby so you dont have to turn off your filter
Throwaway_hoarder_@reddit
I love this idea! Add some fairy lights. Sure it may look a bit weird but don't disturb granny.
Alwayscooking345@reddit
Curtain and cut the lights/filter. But I also wanna know what’s he gonna do if he finds out, evict you!? lol you’re leaving
there_should_be_snow@reddit
Charge them a huge, back-dated fine, and give a shitty reference to any future landlords.
New-Attention1949@reddit
What is the landlord going to do, terminate your lease?
there_should_be_snow@reddit
Charge them a huge, back-dated fine, and give them shitty references to any future landlords maybe?
Wonderful-Victory947@reddit
Don't place any items near it that could get knocked into it. What can he really do to you if it hasn't caused damage? Kicking you out is not in his arsenal at this point.
Mistravels@reddit
You're not renewing the lease.
Who cares?
kefkas@reddit
Maybe the landlord could use it as an excuse to screw OP out of their security deposit.
Mistravels@reddit
True, didn't think of that.
I'm a LL and only keep a SD when it's warranted.
HenriettaCrump@reddit
The only time I kept one is when they decided to work on their motorcycle in the living room and destroyed the carpet.
I had one tenant that left the place so clean I gave her a Cold Stone Creamery gift card to go buy her kids ice cream when I sent her full deposit back.
Mistravels@reddit
I kept my last one.
Assholes cost me 20k in Reno costs. I had to replace every appliance. If I felt I could hurt them further by suing them, I would. But there's no blood to be squeezed out of that rock.
Another property the tenant's replaced the carpet with hardwood without telling me. The house looks better than when I moved out. They'll be getting their full deposit back :)
Money_Ad1068@reddit
My brother took up carpet in a large townhome rental back in the early 2000's. The leasing company forced him to tear it up and reinstall carpet when he moved out.
Mistravels@reddit
Such bullshit.
I had to rent for a little while and really made improvements on the place. I installed shelving, rerouted the dryer lint duct, etc. And I saved the LL from tens of THOUSANDS of dollars in catastrophic flood damage because I was observant and broke into the upstairs apartment to fix a purposefully clogged drain.
He still tried to keep part of my desposit. Fuck you, Ron, and your inherited NYC empire.
Negaface@reddit
We had a tenant work on his engine in the upstairs apartment. Was refurbished before they moved in and had to be refurbished again after.
BoredBSEE@reddit
You're the only one. If you're being honest, I salute you.
mav3r1ck92691@reddit
Every landlord I've ever had has given my deposit back... Maybe take better care of where you live?
Renegade_Squid@reddit
Depends on where you live. Corporate apartments(2); never gotten a security deposit back.
Home owned by a real person(2): gotten my entire deposit back, and the deposit itself was actually much less than the apartments.
Dec8rs8r@reddit
I don't do it either.
jooooooooooooose@reddit
Youre in the minority man
ponzLL@reddit
Does any landlord actually give that back? Seems like they always make up an excuse to keep it anyway.
Ok-Calligrapher-8028@reddit
Omg so true. Dead bushes that i cut down are worth more than $1250?!?!?
Holiday_Bar3967@reddit
not if you claim it first.
caspersmindpalace@reddit (OP)
^ mainly what the other person said but also they’re touring now and we don’t move out until end of July so I didn’t want anything to go wrong against a legal contract
Mistravels@reddit
I'll just say this:
I'm a LL. If there's something that's not "permitted" per the lease, but it becomes a thing later after signing, talk to me. We can usually come to an agreement.
I'd like to believe I am not alone as a LL like that.
Yes I know that's not unethical for the sub. But while I won't take your deposit, a vindictive LL could. In addition to filing for eviction so now that's on your record because technically you've broken the lease and are in violation of it.
There's shit like "no drugs" and smoking weed in the backyard, and then there's "I pray the LL doesn't inspect the property to see how I've OBVIOUSLY broken the lease."
caspersmindpalace@reddit (OP)
I’m not positive what your advice would be at this moment. I mean I totally get it in general, but since we have about a week before tours start, I’m not sure what I would do.
Mistravels@reddit
You don't have many options
1) remove it
2) ride it out, and risk LL backlash
3) attempt to conceal it with boxes
I don't see a 4th option
AdditionalMess6546@reddit
Processing img 97w36peltzvg1...
fasterfester@reddit
TheWackestWoodsman@reddit
If that doesn't work, fuck his dad
namast_eh@reddit
Came here to say this 🙏
rustoeki@reddit
You're a landlord, you've got it covered.
Mistravels@reddit
Lmao k
Stay mad
IAmTheLizardQueen666@reddit
Our lease has a $500 fine for undeclared pets.
Resse811@reddit
And often there are fines per month for pets as well.
PartyDad69@reddit
You’re probably nose blind to it, but landlord will smell it.
Money_Ad1068@reddit
My recommendation is using something cinnamon-based. Two Glade Plug In cinnamon apple air fresheners can conquer most smells.
Holiday_Bar3967@reddit
bake some cookies.
Windy1_714@reddit
Also ground coffee or maybe whole beans? Spread over a cookie sheet, oven on LOW temp. An hour ahead if you have notice & crack the oven door just before arrival. Coffee grounds absorb & neutralize a lot of odor. Plus add that fresh brewed air freshener scent.
Have used them just dry & spread out on a pan in a vehicle. In 24 hours, stink gone. Done the same in an apt. Cookie sheet under bed, couch, wherever. Got rid of some musty / damp smells when I moved in.
Was actually a landlord that shared this trick with me, lol.
sexycanoe@reddit
Fish cookies? Eww....
harveytent@reddit
Wrap it in cardboard and put boxes infront of it. Turn off all electronics when they knock kn the door and just cover it with a sheet. In the end they can’t just demand you uncover stuff. Go to big box hardware store and look for a big box and cover it with that. Make it silent and cover it and they can’t just demand it be uncovered. Just out boxes and shit everywhere so it blends in or cover with sheets but sheets on tons of stuff and say you are covering stuff because of whatever reason.
Money_Ad1068@reddit
This is the most believable idea here. Covered with a sheet and surrounded by a stack of other boxes they won't even look twice.
Electrical_Bunch_173@reddit
You can't hide it and you deserve it. Hopefully he sends out a message to everyone in your state to no accept you as a renter. F UE renters.
ReaperX257@reddit
Just a thought, but, there's a chance he's coming to take pictures of the place so he can list it and start looking for new renters. If you have something that looks off or out of place, like a giant stack of boxes, depending on where it is, he may ask you to move them for a cleaner picture. Be prepared with an excuse why you refuse to move those.
Are you friendly with any neighbors? Maybe you can drain half of the tank (same as when you do your water changes, hopefully) and move the tank to your neighbors house, porch, patio, etc on the day he comes. Get those moving furniture straps and you can easily move the tank with a buddy while someone else moves the stand. If you aren't friendly with anyone, just place it outside somewhere out of the way on the day he comes. If the landlord sees it, say it's the neighbors selling it on marketplace or something.
I think best bet is to move it, not hide it. If you do want to hide it, move it somewhere it won't affect a picture before you hide it. Worse case, he'll see it and charge you a fee for breaking the contract. Good luck!
Tenzipper@reddit
Draining a 75 gallon tank is not a trivial exercise, and half full, plus substrate, it's still going to be 400 pounds, and it would break if you tried to move it like that, tanks aren't strong enough to be moved with water in them, especially large ones.
You either empty it out and move it, or you disguise it.
GraphicDesignMonkey@reddit
Put a big black pentagram cloth on it and turn it into a pagan altar.
Frosty-Reference6660@reddit
No aquatic animals is such a weird rule though? Why?
BadAcidBassDrops@reddit
Potential for severe damage. If the tank breaks and water goes everywhere which does happen, it can be very costly. Even more so in upstairs apartments.
AsleepPride309@reddit
My son dropped his 10 gallon trying to rearrange his room. Biggest. Mess. Ever.
BadAcidBassDrops@reddit
Did anyone survive? My partner over the course of his life lost 2 reef tanks and everything perished because he wasn't home.
Frosty-Reference6660@reddit
That makes sense
Shell-Fire@reddit
Box it up. Make it look like a bunch of boxes against that wall. Make it look like you've started packing up.
caspersmindpalace@reddit (OP)
That what an idea we had too! We will have to shut the filter down and take down the light but that’s v smart. I might just cut cardboard around it haha
billymumfreydownfall@reddit
Slap a FRAGILE sticker on it as well.
kawaiian@reddit
It’s a prestigious award
FelixerOfLife@reddit
If life were a sitcom you could put a tv screen around it and tell him its a screensaver
kawaiian@reddit
Combicon@reddit
Dear Sir stroke Madam,
~~I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of...~~
Fire!
Fire!
Help me!
123 Carrendon Road.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best,
Maurice Moss.
freya_of_milfgaard@reddit
He could have called 0118 999 881 999 119 7253!
Vast_Rest_4988@reddit
r/unexpectedfactorial
soopirV@reddit
Did you have that memorized?
DanCoco@reddit
It's a catchy tune. Only way to remember it really.
Oh one one eight nine nine nine Eight eight one nine niine Nine one one nine seven two five... awkward long pause THREEeeee!
r/unexpecteditcrowd
2003z440@reddit
My ringtone is Moss singing this number
julianAppleby5997@reddit
I want that now
RogueThneed@reddit
My ringtone is the Minions singing Bananaphone, but I would trade off weekly if I could have both.
herbtarleksblazer@reddit
He tried!
StateUnlikely4213@reddit
Back 40 years ago when I was in nursing school, we were not allowed to have microwaves in the dorm. Of course I had a microwave (they were giant back in the day). I put a set of rabbit ears on top and was going to say it was a TV if anybody asked during inspections. Nobody ever did.
Shell-Fire@reddit
Make it fit over the light. Put the filter on a smart plug - I'm drinking the Alexa Kool-Aid - so you can turn it off, or schedule it off, as needed. GL.
No_Address687@reddit
Put the tank on a power strip connected to a clapper. Land lord comes over? Clap off
Queasy-Sentence446@reddit
100% use cardboard boxes. I did that with my giant 36x18x36in frog tank and it worked very well. He didn’t even give it a second glance.
BlackMirror765@reddit
Someone did something similar in the r/aquariums sub. I assume you can search there for it.
SteveDaPirate91@reddit
If you’re wondering why there’s a massive box in the living room.
I’m a bit of a techie with TVs and just love a big rear projection TV. Got it boxed up early to find some movers for it.
Slip on when landlord comes over, off when he’s gone. Ezpz.
Tyzorg@reddit
Keep the filter on and put a boxfan below the tank on low speed to drown out the noise? Depending on how loud your aerator is
18_is_a_teen@reddit
Great idea
LukasLeonard@reddit
This is so genius !!!
ze11ez@reddit
Haha hopefully the fish dont start barking
Shell-Fire@reddit
Thx! Love the popcorn!! 🍿
ohhellopia@reddit
This is what I did. It's a false box that fits around the fishtank. I only have a 5 gallon tank though.
VintageKofta@reddit
No aquatic animals allowed.. but nothing mentioned about a tank with just aquatic plants..
Can you take the fish with you somewhere in a small jar or temp tank while he does the viewings?
chantillylace9@reddit
Lawyer mentality right here!!!! Hahaha
OneTravellingMcDs@reddit
Seaweed grow op.
Sanchez_87_@reddit
Love a good technicality
LukasLeonard@reddit
😂😂
erisod@reddit
Build a packing box wall all around it. Maybe setup a switch so you can easily shut it down for a few minutes. Name it look like where you have all your packed stuff staged to load into a truck.
Ok-Calligrapher-8028@reddit
Can you put a furniture box around it?
slayersofcake@reddit
Microwave popcorn right before they come over.
Ok-Calligrapher-8028@reddit
Burn it too
ExWebics@reddit
Two words…. Service animal !
uppitycrip@reddit
Emotional support would be a better option
Cap-n-Trips@reddit
Diabetes detecting fish?
Ok-Calligrapher-8028@reddit
You could say you have a bleeding disorder and put some sharks in there. They’ll let you know if you’re bleeding!
AdequateSteve@reddit
For anyone suggesting that it doesn’t matter because it never leaked, that might not be the reason they forbid it. 75 gallons of water weighs 625lbs. That much weight on such a small footprint can damage the floor. Some apartment restrict fish tanks to first floor tenants for this exact reason.
Ok-Calligrapher-8028@reddit
I love me some 600 lb life
AquaSquatch@reddit
You're just pet sitting
Ok-Calligrapher-8028@reddit
In college we would pet sit each others beta fish lmao
caspersmindpalace@reddit (OP)
It’s a 75gal with a full setup I’m not sure that would work 😅
The_Pelican1245@reddit
Just have a large dolly or hand truck nearby to sell it.
thisremindsmeofbacon@reddit
Not really how that works lol
The_Pelican1245@reddit
You’re right. They’ll need a few ratchet straps to really sell it.
CreativeAd5332@reddit
"Yeah, my buddy is in Cabo for the next month. He sorta left it at my doorstep before he left, and I didn't want to ruin his vacation by rehoming it while he was gone."
And hope the landlord is not wise to the fact that the tank would weigh about 500lbs.
It's so simple, a complete idiot coukd think it up!
ShhhBees@reddit
Can you leave it with some friends till you move out?
CharmingMechanic2473@reddit
If you are not renewing who cares?
LordofNarwhals@reddit
I can understand not allowing cats/dogs, but why would a fishtank not be allowed? Fish are quiet and won't mess up the floors and furniture.
CanoePickLocks@reddit
Weight or leaks usually
CookieWifeCookieKids@reddit
Make it look like an unopened package ready to be sent to your mom. It’s ilegal to open mail
Scooted112@reddit
I don't know if this will help you or not, but it's a funny story either way.
When I was in uni, my friend had a bike in his dorm room (which was a big no no). They started doing room inspections, where they do an impromptu walkthrough of all the dorm rooms. The guy was out, but his room mate was there and hatches a devious plan.
Roomie turns off the lights, and googles the most embarrassing porn he can think of. They walk in to do the inspection and see a guy sitting in the dark watching some truly vile stuff. The people doing the inspection turn around and gtfo. Missing the bike in plain view.
It's worth a shot!
Successful-Title5403@reddit
The level of quick thinking, that guy definitely got far in life.
Ndtphoto@reddit
Or he just continued to watch vile porn and never left his chair
Successful-Title5403@reddit
On second thought, sounds like he made up a lie after being caught jorking it to the most vile porn known to man... still quick thinking
tilldeathdoiparty@reddit
I have benefited from the scenario a couple of times. Swooped in to buy a full saltwater for dirt cheap.
fouldspasta@reddit
Put a room divider screen in front of it. If they ask why you have a random room divider, say it's where you put your exercise bike or some other large equipment when you aren't using it.
gilly_girl@reddit
"That's just my bondage furniture."
AdditionalMess6546@reddit
"Can I try?"
caspersmindpalace@reddit (OP)
We did that last time actually! We were holding our breath haha. It was really hard to hide the entire thing without making a mess but maybe we can say we are working on selling furniture so that’s why it’s a little unorganized
Balti_Mo@reddit
Tell them you’re just fish sitting for the weekend.
esoteric_vagabond@reddit
Wrap it like a giant present.
Chef_Brah@reddit
Shower curtains to cover it and then put decoratives in front or on top. I know lot of landlords prohibit dishwasher or washing machine due to water leakage issues.
Is your lease ending soon anyway? Main concern would be they dont forfeit your deposit.
Working-on-it12@reddit
Stack boxes around it. A tv box is pretty big. Stack your packing linens on top. Put all of the equipment on a single smart plug.
When the doorbell cameras go off, turn the tank off. If you can put plants by your front door, you can tuck a second camera that points towards the steps and get a second view of approaching people.
girl_from_aus@reddit
What are packing linens?
Working-on-it12@reddit
Towels, blankets, throws, stuff like that. You cover furniture with them so you can stack without scratching. You can also rent them when you get your truck.
Curlypeeps@reddit
Can you move it to someone else's house temporarily?
LoudAcid-@reddit
I cover my terarrium with a nice table cloth or towel, and hide it behind a laundry drying rack filled with underwear (the spicier the bettet!) and put some stuff infront of the rack so it’s hard to get at the teriarum.
458643@reddit
If it fits inside a clothing cabinet, throw dirty laundry over it, chances are they are not goin to touch the laundry
Pit-Viper-13@reddit
So your lease specifically prohibits aquatic animals?
I can say that’s the first I’ve heard of that. I wonder what the story is behind that 🤣
mmmermaiddd@reddit
Fish tanks can leak and cause water damage and mold, plus they’re heavy AF and can damage floors or worse, plus the increased electricity consumption.
Pit-Viper-13@reddit
I’ve seen restrictions on size, like 5 gallon maximum, but never an outright ban.
I can’t say I’ve ever lived in an apartment where electricity was included either, I always paid my own bill.
SerenityPickles@reddit
Ask a trusted friend if you can set the tank up at their place until you move into your new place. Or if you’re friends with a nearby apartment maybe they will let you set it up there for a bit?
exkingzog@reddit
Borrow a tiger and keep it in the room.
horsetooth_mcgee@reddit
Build a false wall
electric_shocks@reddit
He's going to smell it you know.
MaddoxGoodwin@reddit
Table cloth on it and a bunch of pictures and such on it.
primerblack@reddit
Nope, People act like the court is going to give a warrent to subpoena ring camera video over parking tickets. Ain’t happening.
brainhack3r@reddit
Put a dead hooker that's stabbed right next to the fish tank.
This way the guy walks in, sees the dead hooker, and doesn't even focus on the fish tank!
PM_ME_YOUR_MOMS_BONG@reddit
I always put my dead hooker under the mattress and wait for the bell hop and the kids he is babysitting to find it.
Tab0ot_Tab0ot@reddit
Can you share a picture of the final result ??!! I'm dying to see what you choose and how it turns out. Invested 😅😅
CrudBert@reddit
I don’t think you have to allow “tours” while you still live in the property and have paid rent for it. I can’t see how that is required! Just tell him no.
bread-in@reddit
It absolutely should be that way, but yeah unfortunately I think most places they can
ThighCurlContest@reddit
Where I am, and in most places I'm aware of, there's no rule against this at all. Where I live, we have the legal right to enter the property for inspections or showings if we give "reasonable" notice (which is usually interpreted here to mean 24 hours.)
The property manager I worked for was much more courteous about it: we always gave at least 72 hours notice, worked with the existing tenant on timing, and the potential new renter was always fully-vetted, background-checked, and approved to rent before letting him enter an occupied unit (so we could do as few showings as possible.)
However, our lease also basically said "during the last 10 days of your occupancy, we will show the property whenever we want during the day, with or without your permission, but we'll still give you 24 hours notice."
tongsy@reddit
Where I live they can start showing it as soon as you give notice, and they only have to give you "reasonable" notice (this can be less than a day, but they can't just show up). I live in a relatively tenant friendly area (Ontario. Canada). So I wouldn't be surprised if anywhere else they can do the same.
BiggusDickus-@reddit
Yes, landlords can generally show property like this. They just have to give reasonable notice.
TomatoOdd7716@reddit
Landlords have to the right to inspect the premises with notice
jr5nicks@reddit
Don’t cover it at all, what is he gonna do, kick you out? You’re moving and not renewing your lease lol.
Also does your lease say specifically you can’t have a fish tank? That’s a super weird item to be specified in a lease lol
lowkeylye@reddit
First thought was put it on the ground infront of the couch and put cloth around and wood on top and pretend jts a coffee table
Lavaine170@reddit
What's he going to do? Evicy you? You're leaving . He can't touch you. Just leave it visible.
AvailableAd6071@reddit
Some large packing boxes. Cut the back and enough of the sides off to just push it around it. Stack a few on top of each other. Don't turn the light or filter off until they knock on the door. You can push a chair or something against it to prevent anyone looking too close.
hudsoncress@reddit
Throw a blanket over it and refuse to remove it.
TwoSpoonSally@reddit
If you are gonna turn the canister filter off, make sure you have a silent air pump with air stone running in there. You could get an airline splitter and run a sponge filter or two as well.
sailboatfool@reddit
Box it up and label it ammo
Old-Fudge4062@reddit
If you're moving anyways and you've been good tenants I might be tempted to ask in person or on the phone (not text) if he wants you to hide the big ass fishtank your not supposed to have so he can keep pretending he doesn't know about it.
Reptilian_American06@reddit
Place it in the dinning room, cover with a big tablecloth, place your chairs around it.
caspersmindpalace@reddit (OP)
Haha we sadly don’t have one but it would be a funny idea and incredibly short.
DankyCinnablunts@reddit
Coffee table?
Disastrous-Style-461@reddit
Set it up as YouTube Fishing Channel, they won’t notice the fish. Booms and big lighting. Stools and ferns - you could interview them!
I_LAUGH_AT_TYRANNY@reddit
razzemmatazz@reddit
See if a Home Depot wardrobe box would fit over it.
Wrong-Sprinkles-981@reddit
Just cover it with a sheet and lean up some old furniture and boxes against it.this wouldn’t be out of the ordinary as you’re moving anyway