Gather a group of 5-12 year old children and have them write down a list of insults. Whenever there’s a new serial killer going around, instead of giving them a cool nickname, we choose a nickname from the list
Posted by the44thvo1d@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 31 comments
Personally, if I were to put in all of this work to commit a string of murders only to find out I’ve been dubbed “The Poopy Diaper Killer” or “The Stupid Doodoo head of Massachusetts”, I’d just straight up turn myself in
beamerpook@reddit
That's hilarious and crazy enough to work. I'm vain enough that would totally work on me.
herejusttoannoyyou@reddit
You mean if you were a serial killer, right?
right???
beamerpook@reddit
herejusttoannoyyou@reddit
The wimpy pimple face stinker
Casiquire@reddit
As much as I love this and think serial killers would hate it, so would their victims' families. This isn't enough to stop a serial killer, so I'd favor the feelings of the family over annoying the killer
poly_arachnid@reddit
Idk, if someone killed my relatives I think the idea of a humiliating name would hold more appeal than something with gravitas.
I mean "the Kingford Strangler" is legit. It conveys that my family member was murdered by a horrible person cutting off air until they died terrified.
On the other hand the sheer level of anger & humiliation the killer would probably feel every time their "amazing deeds" hit the news & they're called "the chickenturd breath meanie" would be delightful. Every article goes from a trophy they prize, an object that demonstrates how much fear they're putting communities in, to an automatic mockery of them.
Those people do this sort of shit at least partly for ego. They want to be big & impressive, they want to have power over people, and one of the greatest powers you can have over another is life & death. The more feared they are, the more respected they feel, the bigger their egos get. Who is going to hear about "the chickenturd breath meanie" or "the dirty diaper bozo" & think "I want to be feared like that"? If we turn serial killers from "famous terrors" into "disgusting losers" then surely at least a portion of the potential killers will seek out a different method. It won't hold the reaction they want to achieve.
CaitlinSnep@reddit
We have at least one documented case of a serial killer being pissed that the press called him "The Teacup Poisoner" instead of something 'cool'- and that was just a literal description of what he did. Imagine how much worse deliberately humiliating insults would be!
maxsmart01@reddit
But what happens when humiliation fetishists turn to serial murder. We need to be able to tell the difference.
the44thvo1d@reddit (OP)
If you’re getting turned on by being called “The Stupid Idiothead of Missouri” then that is a you problem
GhoulTimePersists@reddit
The Lowkey Mid Strangler
fuck_peeps_not_sheep@reddit
The somewhat competent ripper
Tw1ch1e@reddit
This should be the default for any parent trying to name their kid!
the44thvo1d@reddit (OP)
No, we should still let them pick normal names, like Mark or something, but they have to change it up to make it unique like a username. So the kid has to be named something like xX_m4Rk_Xx or Mark71319
Tw1ch1e@reddit
That’s some r/tradegeigh thinking right there.
VTAffordablePaintbal@reddit
We found Elon Musk's new burner account!
dzaimons-dihh@reddit
The Worse than Epstein Enderman
weirdinchicago@reddit
The poopy breath killer.
Scuzzbag@reddit
What is it with you people and gathering groups of minors?
bluebuns123@reddit
Turn yourself in and admit you’re the doodoo head of Massachusetts ?
reindeermoon@reddit
It's more likely he'd be constantly calling the newspapers to convince them he's not a doodoo head... and then the police can trace the calls and find out who he is.
PointsOfXP@reddit
Imagine having to tell some kid the killer is getting more violent and sadistic since hearing his name
DemiGod9@reddit
The "6-7 Loser" is tearing throughout the pacific northwest
_Internet_Hugs_@reddit
Yeah.... you'd have to stop at around age eight otherwise that list would be filled with expletives. You gotta be able to say it on the news.
ulyssesfiuza@reddit
TaserFace?
XROOR@reddit
Some teacher found a list of insults in some primary school kids desk and many were just awful.
Teacher asks kid if he read some book and he said my Dad says this to me!
druidgaymer@reddit
Some of the names those older kids would come up with would still be cool af
BluelunarStar@reddit
This is a crazy, but still ingenious idea. I’d fully back this!!
Cililians@reddit
The big booger strangler
YellowTonkaTrunk@reddit
I love this idea
capnlatenight@reddit
POV: when the 5-12 year old calls a name to the serial killer's face:
https://youtu.be/0TBlyr7gUBc?t=33&si=dHWFzccUk43dCJ3D
TraditionalTree249@reddit
Honestly if Criminal Minds taught me anything that might work like at least once.