Men, how often (if ever) are you approached?
Posted by vaynehelsing@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 838 comments
Following on from a similar thread for the ladies.
For the men here, have you ever been approached yourself? I feel like in the UK we’re all so terrified of being "creepy" or "bothersome" that we just stare at our meal deals in silence. What’s your experience?
alann72@reddit
Never approached now, I’m married, old, out of shape, lack of confidence (old). But in my twenties it certainly happened three times that I can remember, I mean I even slept with one of them, multiple times, but it never occurred that she actually liked me rather than just a casual shag.
Looking back now I wonder how much different life would have been. Oh well.
Sway_RL@reddit
Never in a romantic way.
I got pulled over by the police once and that was nice
Fuck_Up_5937@reddit
Yeah, they always stop me for a blow, take me back to their place. Not sure it's worth the driving ban though
InnisNeal@reddit
Think they want you mate
Over-Language2599@reddit
Once that I'm aware of, by my current partner. But that was more of a campaign rather than an approach.
gazchap@reddit
I'm picturing the anger-less Rimmer from the Polymorph episode of Red Dwarf. Were they wearing a "Give Quiche A Chance" T-shirt?
Harry_Lime_and_Soda@reddit
We'll get some placards made but really need to rethink the acronym...
ApprehensiveCoach546@reddit
I was approached a couple of weeks ago by a woman on her holidays here (London, Camden to be specific) and who was clearly looking to hook up. I went with it because, well why not.
But it’s rare, unless I’m in a scenario where it’s ’easy’ to approach me (eg if my band has just played a show).
incognitoarmadill0@reddit
Occasionally, usually the married ones in difficult or abusive relationships.. I politely decline.
SleeperCell65@reddit
When I worked as a doorman probably every other busy shift, now I work alone in the countryside it's less common. Most aggressively recently it's from cashiers, twice in the last couple of months, compliments and banter.
BortVanderBoert@reddit
When i go out on the town and get drunk among other drunk people it’s not that uncommon. I’ve been out drinking with my pals and all of a sudden a random woman hands me a piece of paper with her number on.
quitebizzare@reddit
When I was younger but never from people I was attracted to 🤔. Now I reckon I could live the rest of my life without anyone approaching me - even casual interactions
Palablues@reddit
6 times by men. Once by a lady.
I would have a much better love life if I was gay. Oh well.
BreloomGang@reddit
Not once, women have never shown any interest in me and it makes me really sad some days
StartAccomplished702@reddit
Would anyone be interested? Young girl - Can provide videos of what I do in them….
Email luciewilliamsxo@yahoo.com
👅👀
Affectionate_Eye1502@reddit
I was approached by a girl when I was in college (UK) when I was 16. Literally never again. I have noticed more eye contact from women since hitting the gym. BUT. I am 39, married with kids so can't do shit about it. The same 16 year old that approached me in college reached out again a year ago. Weird. She is also married. TF. Not interested. Not then and certainly not now. Literally married the first woman who I fell in love with. It was very easy to make me fall in love. All you had to do was talk to me for more than 5 minutes.
There are times when I feel like I should have slept around more. Especially as life is particularly sexless and I am extraordinarily horny as I make gains in the gym. Now I only get approached by men which is creepy asf. Particularly in beaches, gym, sauna (not that type of saunas guys calm down) etc. Feel like its a waste of lil buddy down there, as I have never slept with anyone who could accomodate the full 8 inches. FML.
HappyHits@reddit
Approached once, turns out she was trying to scam
mankytoes@reddit
I love those few seconds when a pretty girl in a bar aporoaches, before she reveals she's on promotions.
a_young_gallant@reddit
of this is an entire industry in touristy cities in Europe - hot young women reel naive foreign men into bars, where they get gouge with overpriced drinks.
Boy_JC@reddit
Hi there big boy {yes!}
You want 3 jäger bombs for a fiver? {ah no, but yes please}
PatchcordAdams@reddit
Me and a mate got approached by two very nice French girls once. Chatted for about 10mins. We thought we were absolutely in. Asked if we want to come with them to a bar for drinks. Hell yes we did.
Somehow managed to lose them in there.
Suddenly realised we’d been absolutely bamboozled.
No-Butterscotch-1385@reddit
Met a stunner in a club once felt like a champ. Bought her a cocktail got one for myself. Went toilet and when I came back drinks had disappeared along with rhe stunner. She was probably the friendly club ghost.
mesonofgib@reddit
I had something like this once. Before marriage, I was out with my wife (then-girlfriend) and her friend in one of the fancy London clubs my wife's friend likes to frequent. At some point I lean over to my wife and say "I don't know what to do; this woman is hitting on me" at which point my wife and her friend laugh and point out that "In a place like this, half the women are prostitutes". I was both relieved and a little deflated.
ukslim@reddit
You've just reminded me of the only time I can remember being approached. Perhaps.
I was in my mid 30s, just getting used to being single after a 15+ year relationship, and my parents had come to visit so I was in town with them. I was sat on a bench on the high street, with my dad, while my mum looked in a shop.
And the charity chuggers were in town. And then rather nice looking girl sat next to me, and struck up a conversation. I don't remember how she started it. But because she had her chugger badge and stuff, I gave my standard no-thank-you-chugger answers, and she said "Oh no, I'm on my break now, I just thought you looked nice and fancied a chat".
So we had a chat, and I think in a world where my dad hadn't been right there, it could have led to a "what are you doing later". But on the other hand, even in my 30s I could easily have misread the signs.
Anyway. In my 50s with a wedding ring now, and I think that's the only time I might have been approached.
InsaneNutter@reddit
I'm always suspicious of anyone who stops me in public, usually they want money. Or very occasionally directions.
I don't remember ever been "approached" with romantic intentions though.
Evening-Tomatillo-47@reddit
Yeah, anyone that approaches me wants something. The question is is it work related or am I in trouble
hitanthrope@reddit
I literally have no idea. Utterly oblivious. My female friends have occasionally told me that some woman was flirting with me but I never pick up on it.
Never had a relationship start this way, but I also don’t really do it. I’m a giant and people get nervous when I approach them. Relationships (none to many really) either internet or intros through friends.
Fresh_Will_1913@reddit
29M 6'2 and don't have that much trouble getting dates off the apps, so the face card doesn't decline.
Have literally never been approached by a girl.
washyourgoddamnrice@reddit
Never in my whole life unfortunately
bobsyourdaughter@reddit
Once, and it was a dare.
Fat_Man_Mondo@reddit
Probably twice in my lifetime (I’m late 30’s). I’m engaged and getting married next year now so makes no odds these days to me anyway.
Emergency_Sugar99@reddit
about once a decade
PrestigiousUnion5593@reddit
0
urgentassistance@reddit
None yet, I would be initially suspicious if it were to happen.
hailst0rm@reddit
I would say never but I’m captain oblivious. I’d probably twig a week later.
Witty-Usual4624@reddit
Never the last time i was approached was probably more then 13 years ago.
Scruffy_Angel@reddit
Only once. Unfortunately I was already on a date lol
DirkDigg79@reddit
I remember school prom I took my girl mate who was extra large and while dancing pinched the prettiest girls ass who i had gone out with younger but she had since gone on to world class status
Nothing happened and I resigned my fate to taking the rhino back to the hotel room. We were only 16 so was only a snog in the dark but the door flew open and my mate walked in to with gorgeous girl and her friend in tow. There was a long pause then an exit.
Never seen her again
LeastFox8059@reddit
All the time. Store detectives mostly.
onetimeuselong@reddit
Over 20 years 🤔
Bum pinched once at school.
Too dumb to notice on a bus once at a uni residential week. Caught up like 4 months later.
Nightclubbing at uni three times, maybe four or five but the other two times were weird… one girl put her leg on my shoulder at the bar to show off flexibility… but also was showing off a Virgin Mary photo in her wallet. Weird vibe.
Fancy awards ball at uni once.
Via tinder a dozen times or so. I got to be foreign and exotic once.
Working in the hospital once… maybe twice.
At the gym twice.
There’s probably been more but I’m pretty oblivious.
No I’m not particularly good looking either.
-Rhymenocerous-@reddit
Not very often since my wife put a ring on it.
Even then it takes me about 3-5 business days to realise someone was hitting on me.
(Hence why my wife proposed I think)
WealthMain2987@reddit
Mate you are fast. I normally notice about 2 workings weeks after.
DownrightDrewski@reddit
Damn, and here's me normally taking years.
incognito-mode69420@reddit
Maaaaaaate, I’ll be sitting there and all of a sudden I get a flashback from 10+ years ago where someone has said something that was flirting and I’m present day like “Holy shit, oh noooooooo”
DownrightDrewski@reddit
I've had so many of those moments in my life - I was apparently "hot" at one point in my 20s but grew up fat so no self esteem or confidence.
DirkDigg79@reddit
Honestly I think it's more charming and endearing to have low self esteem makes people more human. Nothing worse than people full if themselves
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I’ve been fat, thin, slim, toned, tanned, no hair, a peacock haircut, my style changes every 4-5 years. I don’t do it on purpose, it just happens.
I am old now, I look young. I could get female attention and do nothing with it, from a very young age. I’d start a conversation with a woman in Yates that my mate could never do, and then I’d walk off. My mate would get frustrated at me and say “ you are in there, what the hell are you doing”?
He’d say “ she likes you. Go and talk to here”. So I’d go and chat to a different one. I was stubborn and like doing things on my own. I’ve been really stupid with how I’ve approached dating. I wouldn’t change any of it but I do now realise, who I am as a human and as a grown man.
Artificial-Brain@reddit
Yep and it's always haunting af lol
IntravenusDiMilo_Tap@reddit
Yep, girl i knew at school saw me in the pub and said to her friend 'oh my god, there's
IntravenusDiMilo_Tap, i used to fancy him' being a bloke of 19 or so, I majored on the words 'used to' and didn't want to embarrass myself further. 10 years later I bumped into her sister who said she [the girl] was married but remembered only too well when I blanked her in the pub after making it obvious she [her sister] was interested.
Odd_Sir4792@reddit
A girl I knew from work kissed me in the pub once and I thought "why on earth is she doing that, she doesn't fancy me??"
30 minutes later I thought "hang on a sec...?!?". but at that point she'd gone home in tears.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I’ve got many different stories like this. Not picking up on the fact that women liked me, has been a curse for me.
RygasChaplain@reddit
Fully paid up member of that club right here
Odd_Sir4792@reddit
It's especially good because I also often thought that women did like me when they absolutely didn't.
I'm essentially wrong both ways all the time. Cursed indeed.
twirling_daemon@reddit
I’m so sorry, but I actually cackled at this and startled the cat 🤣🤣🤣
Odd_Sir4792@reddit
😂😂 Sorry about the cat and thanks for the award!
CartoonistNo9@reddit
Relatable
SpamJavelin00@reddit
Making it obvious ?? Muttering to her friend on other side of a pub is ‘making it obvious ‘ is it ?
CartoonistNo9@reddit
Unless her ankles are behind her ears I’m always reluctant to assume flirting.
Scared_Cricket3265@reddit
Scrap that if you are in a yoga class.
SpamJavelin00@reddit
Nah, no need . No woman bens over to make her balloon knot wink at you unless she’s up for it !! Yoga or no yoga
SpamJavelin00@reddit
Legs akimbo like the hands of a clock at quarter to three , is my green light .
bornfromanegg@reddit
Middle ground, mate. Middle ground.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
If a 58 year old woman, randomly smiles at me, does she fancy me? She might just being nice to me and I an ok with that.
SpamJavelin00@reddit
Now we see the problem ! If any man acted on any of the non-existent ‘signals ‘ described here , he would promptly find himself on a sex offenders register !!
bornfromanegg@reddit
Why does she have to be 58?
Shut_YourMouth@reddit
and the fact she said ‘used to’, so I would assume that she does not like me anymore
IntravenusDiMilo_Tap@reddit
Exactly what my insecure mind was telling me!!
SnooHabits8484@reddit
In Woman Language, yes
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I once had a woman who couldn’t make it more obvious for me, if I tired. I was showing off to my mate that I used to work with and I said “ here’s how you talk to random, good looking women”.
I approached here and said “ do I know you, I am sure that I was talking do you last week”? It was a pure lie, snd must of fancied me. She openly told me that she was single and I didn’t even ask her. She kept looking in mirror but I didn’t know as 20 year old, that it was a coincidence thing. My mate who was a few year olds me “ she’s nervous and you’re being a tit”.
Anyway I wasn’t the most confident 20 year old, I could char shit with the best of them but I didn’t believe the things that I said. I spoke to a very different woman who I ended up talking home but nothing happened, as I had work in about 3 hours but it did the week after.
Imagine seeing the stunning woman that I didn’t understand and I was with a different one, in a random taxi office. There is a lot more to this story and I might one day tell the rest in a stand up show but I didn’t understand social hints or why a woman would try her best to get close to me, out of nowhere.
I was terrible at picking up on flirting or even doing it, until I got a lot older. A different woman in the same club told me, “ one day, you’ll grow into your looks”, I wasn’t very happy but I had a baby face, so I now know what she means. I still look a lot younger than I am.
bornfromanegg@reddit
I don’t think she meant you had a baby face.
twirling_daemon@reddit
If it helps, I’m a woman who’s only interested in other women and I’m in my mid 40’s
If I heard someone say they ‘used to’ fancy me I’d 100% assume it was absolutely in the past 😂
Don’t think the issue there is on your end friend!
sixsik6@reddit
This is the correct response
Agreeable_Archer_210@reddit
Hahaha - I was really into a girl at university that i assumed didn’t like me, and one night she got bored of waiting for me, snuck into my room and climbed into bed with, and I was still thinking “Well she probably has the wrong room, this is going to be embarrassing for her.”
DaddyRAS@reddit
Almost the same, 30+ years ago. She'd been dumped by my house mate and was sad so we had a chat in my room. She got into my bed and got undressed under the covers and complained about being cold. So I gave her a t-shirt. A Prince tour t-shirt. And then I got into bed because I was tired and went to sleep. She left the next morning and I never got the t-shirt back. I say I was being decent and not breaking the trust of a vulnerable girl (and not wanting to back stab my house mate, not that we were particularly good friends). And I probably was. But I was also a dumb ass who couldn't read the signs.
Slow-Objective9707@reddit
Sign of the times?
Grandmaster-Glitch@reddit
Deserves a lot more this mate 👏
Electronic-Stop-1261@reddit
When Doves Cry?
DaddyRAS@reddit
Diamonds & Pearls I think
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I’ve had a woman flirt with me at my mates engagement party. It caused world war 3, as she was goof looking and the women there, didn’t get that it was me that she liked.
I had to stop a few fights and I did nothing wrong. I ended up taking her home in a taxi, as it was the right thing to do and she was very keen for that to happen. She had a lovely house but then I find out she’s got a partner, who’s working away. He thanked me, and then went upstairs for a wee.
I come out of the bathroom and she’s getting undressed. I was originally going to go through with it, but then I stopped. She was a swinger and her fella was fine with it. I didn’t know this and I left.
Different_Host7883@reddit
That's quite quick, I was texting a girl once and she was talking abt being single and she said when she turned 35 if we were both still single we should get together and get married, I was kinda just playing along and agreed then ahe goes "what if I told you my 35th birthday is tomorrow", I'm so smart that I replied with "? You're younger than me". That took me a few years to figure out.
Octoboy1@reddit
About 15 years ago a girl texted me saying shes home alone and bored. I replied something like "aw thats a shame why don't you do [hobby]" and she replied "yeah maybe"
10 years later, I hadn't seen or thought about this girl in years, im going to bed, suddenly it hits me, I'm wide awake now, bolt up right in bed. She wanted me to go over....
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
My friend that I mentioned above would always say to women “ Do you want to come back to mine for a drink”? He said “ that takes the sigma, out of what you both want to happen”.
It used to work a lot for him but he’s not a happy man/grown man. Nobody used to teach you this but I am glad that I didn’t know the rules to dating, as I would have been a nightmare.
I dressed well, I was scared of a random conversation from a young age. I was terrible at doing the easy bit.
bornfromanegg@reddit
I think you mean stigma
artfuldodger128@reddit
Indeed. I thought 'sigma' is some alpha men lingo. 😆
VMS_UK@reddit
Reminds me of OFAH when trigger goes for a weekend away on his own
Appropriate-Divide64@reddit
Oh. Yeah a girl I kind of liked when I was kind of single (long story) asked me if I was doing anything that weekend. I said I didn't really have any plans and asked what she was up to. She said she also didn't have any plans. Then there was an awkward silence.
I was supposed to make plans wasn't I?
bornfromanegg@reddit
Probably one of you was.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I’ve only learnt that long txts are the world’s worst thing to do, with women. I no longer do it and I don’t double txt, as if it’s too long in one, don’t bother.
Appropriate-Divide64@reddit
I'm a man and double length texts are straight up psychopath behaviour. Don't do it. 😂
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I don’t, anymore. I’ve a lot to say and I’ll openly say “ I ain’t txting, I’ll ring you, as it’s easier”. I refuse to be anyone’s bored cure.
I’ve learnt anything and everything the way but I am good with.
bornfromanegg@reddit
If your texts are like this I’d say that’s probably a good thing.
Remote_Atmosphere993@reddit
Yes.
turdbuster78@reddit
Key into keyhole my friend
incognito-mode69420@reddit
🤣🤣🤣 exact same scenario except I started giving her suggestions of things she could do with her friends or alone 🤣
Potential-Ad-6552@reddit
I was texting a girl years back whilst she was on a night out so a little drunk, joking round with her saying she will only complain like all the other girls. To which she replied "youd be moaning if I were there now" completely over my head i replied "no i wouldn't"...... Read it on first glance as she was saying id complain about her being there 🤦♂️ah you win some you lose some.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I had a woman message me on insta and say “ what are you up to” I told her and met her. Then I had a drink with her, as she sang brilliantly in a pub and I took her home in a taxi and nothing happened.
I actually liked her and I totally messed it up. Life is all about learning from things like this.
escapingfromelba@reddit
That's glacial speed of processing. Impressive.
Over-Language2599@reddit
2 weeks? 2 WEEKS? Not 2 years then? Golly you're fast.
karlware@reddit
Sometimes decades for me. You mean when I was 15 and that girl invited me around to play computer games while she lay on the bed watching me play....oh?!
Over-Language2599@reddit
Yes decades for me to but was reluctant to be the first to admit it.
karlware@reddit
I think its charming. Im talking about ZX Spectrum games as well.
IntravenusDiMilo_Tap@reddit
ha ha, what game was it? We are so literal
karlware@reddit
Strong memory of showing her how good i was at Daley Thomsons Decathlon.
Just makes it worse, doesnt it?. 'Look at my fingers go! How dextorous i am!'
IntravenusDiMilo_Tap@reddit
Lol, unfortunately the spectrum didn't come with a 🕹️
Not_A_Toaster_0000@reddit
"Well, takes 10 minutes to load the next game, I guess we'll just sit here in silence as there's nothing else we could do with the time"
Minionherder@reddit
Alright show off, I was stuck with a C16+4 on a black and white TV.
DrSinnott@reddit
Around 3 or 4 months ago, a situation popped into my head from 2001. It was then I realised, I effed up
Lopsided_Rooster6819@reddit
Yup, try not to think back, it will only frustrate you !
WealthMain2987@reddit
Holy crap is that what that was? I thought she just wanted to play golden eye
Uk-guys2@reddit
3 working weeks is the minimum.
19nineties@reddit
I’m still not sure if my wife likes me
SnooHabits8484@reddit
In fairness mine does not make it simple to work that out at any given time.
Agreeable_Archer_210@reddit
Hard agree. I still assume there has been some terrible admin error.
SmugglersParadise@reddit
I look back 10 years later and think "they might have actually been interested in me"
878Vikings@reddit
I'm very much in love my my wife, she's amazing. But to this day I'm annoyed that I missed that a friend at school was hitting on me 35 years ago.
-Rhymenocerous-@reddit
I hope your wife never reads that matey
878Vikings@reddit
No regrets at all, I'm living my best life. Just mild but long term annoyance that someone (anyone) was hitting on me and I missed it.
MoSuarez@reddit
I love “business days” here…. Like your radar processor shuts down at weekends …:
-Rhymenocerous-@reddit
Damn straight. Weekend = not a thought upstairs for 2 days 😂
Mean-Aside1970@reddit
just when I think I can't make it obvious enough to him, I read these comments and realise some men just need a liiiiiiittle bit more time to understand a woman is flirting with them lmao
-Rhymenocerous-@reddit
Men need a very direct approach a lot of the time.
Women rely on subtle cues (from my experience) which we as men are dogshit at reading or delivering.
SpecialStreamCannon@reddit
Girl in high school asked me to touch her butt cause she "had been doing squats and was toned af now".
I was just like "Huh. Your butt is firm... well, see ya!"
A couple of years later I am like, "Wait a second..."
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I was at college doing a roofing, apprenticeship. I had the grad cheerleader of the local football team, speaking to me, as I went to school with one of the girls at the table.
Heather the cheerleader was a stunner, she still is, 20 years later. The girl that I knew said “ do you have your sister socks on”? I should have just said “ yeh I do” the lads at the table in my class said @ go over, we can’t and you’ve got an in”. I didn’t and the lesson that I learnt wasn’t the right one.
I said to the lads that I’ll never wear rubbish, Donny socks, or cheap ones again. That wasn’t the life lesson but you live and buy expensive socks in vain.
I’ll stop commenting but I could mention another 10 crazy stories, just on me fumbling female advances. It could be worse, I could have had, zero female attention.
surfrider0007@reddit
Same! 😂
james_james1@reddit
Look at this player showing off his rizz.
Fragrant-Reserve4832@reddit
See I would honestly say I have received a lot more interest since putting on a wedding ring.
Akash_nu@reddit
In my case it was the mother in law who actually proposed! 😂
GeneralExisting3978@reddit
Your mother in law asked to marry you or asked on behalf of her daughter?
Akash_nu@reddit
What do you think?!
ZaphodG@reddit
Where did she put this ring?
Artistic_Western_623@reddit
I have legitimately gone 'oh!' 29 years later.
Little_Order3606@reddit
I'm 44. Straight male. Never had a relationship. Guarantee you I've never ever been approached in any capacity whatsoever. And no, I didn't miss any signs or whatever, however they would have been sent.
Impressive-Pie-5464@reddit
During my 20s and 30s I was asked out by a woman at work and once out in a bar during a live music gig, was only talking to her openly at a large table and she asked for my number and wether im comming back next week. As ive now got older (late 40s) and shaved my head bald I found alot of younger girls in their 20s have gravitated towards me to talk, quite strange!
EdinburghBob@reddit
I never have
PotentialPigFucker@reddit
Never
Suspicious-Cap6826@reddit
For me it always happens when you’re not single , it’s like they can sniff you out. When you’re single … tumbleweed , soon as you’e in a relationship you get attention!
AppointmentEast1290@reddit
5-10 times in my entire life, but I rarely realise at the time...
MangelBallbag@reddit
Many times by one person. Years ago in my early 20's I was sexually harassed by a middle aged manager of a bereavement processing team. As were many of the other young guys I worked with.
Of course I didn't report it because I was unaware that men could be sexually harassed at the time.
Among much unwanted touching and comments. I remember I volunteered to work late for toil to keep something on track and she overheard and said something to the effect of "Maybe I'll stay too and you can bend me over the desk" gross, she was twice my age and not attractive.
Everyone hated going over there because you knew she was gonna be all up on you "accidentally" touching your arse or something.
Other than that never, I'm an average looking guy with a dad bod.
Original-Material301@reddit
I don't think I've ever been hit on AND registered the fact that I've been hit on in the same interaction. Usually figure it out a few days later when I'm in the shower lol.
Pretty oblivious back in the day.
Lee_1337@reddit
Once every 4 months or so, or every 2nd or 3rd time i finish a set with the band.
Music works
psychmancer@reddit
Before meeting my wife literally never
Think-Guidance5340@reddit
I have a rule that i will never approach girls in a club and usually just being myself get me attentions(more or less everytime im there) but i also strictly go to alt/metal clubs and i look like the average alt guy with tatts etc. in a normal environment i rarely get approached more than once or twice every few months so i guess right place at the right time plays a HUGE role
DanielH1979@reddit
Not very often, but nice when it happens, even if it's never going to lead to anything
PsychologySpecific16@reddit
Never. Well that isn't strictly true a man once approached me and in fairness I was drinking in a gay bar 😂
No women have ever approached me. If I didn't approach women i'd have never found my wife which was the best thing to ever happen to me.
There is a lesson somewhere in that.
zen1892@reddit
Used to happen quite often in my late teens and early twenties but not so much anymore (I’m 44 now). I also rarely leave the house anymore except for work or the gym which I’m sure doesn’t help.
JammyNinja69@reddit
An au pair once left me her number when I was working at the local library
Western-Win3676@reddit
Probably a half dozen times in my middle age life. Every time was in my 20s.
H0B0FASSI0N@reddit
Once directly when a neighbour stuck her tongue in my mouth out the blue while my wife was in the kitchen, but once a co-worker flashed me and that was supposed to be an approach it went straight over my head, I was trying to set a friend up and the girl we were talking to asked me if I wanted to go to the toilet also went over my head and my first date with my wife she put on the least amount of clothes possible for a night out and I advised she put warmer clothes on massive swing and a miss on my part but she took control on the way home when she dragged me to a quiet spot and I didn't have a clue until both out trousers were down. There could be more but I really don't know.
MaxMouseOCX@reddit
Some drunk woman with her friends slapped my ass and told me I have a great ass as I walked passed.
Was a bit odd, but honestly - I rode that high for a little while.
Rosehiphedgerow@reddit
It's funny how both genders react. A lot of women would probably respond with strong discomfort if that happened to them by a drunk man.
MaxMouseOCX@reddit
Absolutely, but I choose to ignore that because I liked it 🤣
If you've found yourself in this sort of conversation "yea, but what if the woman that slapped your ass was ugly as fuck" - yea, I still wouldn't have given a shit.
This is probably a really bad point of view on my part, but the difference is feeling threatened, I didn't feel threatened so... I dunno, I don't want to be outraged at it, because I'm just not?
blueroses8000@reddit
This is what a lot of men don’t understand. A woman or a group of women walking behind a man late at night isn’t going to make him fear for his life and start frantically thinking of ways to protect himself.
MaxMouseOCX@reddit
No, I understand it completely, and I absolutely fucking hate it... But I know there is exactly nothing I can do about it.
I've even accidentally frightened a woman late at night walking through a small wooded area, like what the fuck do I do? We're both going the same direction, if I just over take her (because I'm tall and walk faster normally), she will be scared, if I hang back and walk slower than her that's weird as shit and she will be scared.
So, I just stopped... Which, is fucking weird and made her speed up, it's only happened the once by pure chance but I felt absolutely awful about it. What the fuck do you do when you're absolutely not a threat, someone defaults to assuming you are (because that's just a safer position to take), and any action you take makes it worse 🤣
a_petch@reddit
Could phone someone and talk loudly on the phone, obviously resist saying key words like rape, murder and abduction. If no-one picks up, just act like you're phoning someone but clearly talking to yourself
RedditButAnonymous@reddit
Youve got me cracking up with the idea of resisting saying anything suspicious
"Y'alright mate? Just about to murder some poor woman in the woods, how are ya? Oh fuck wait no-"
a_petch@reddit
It would be the typical thoughts in your head of trying not to say something but inevitably leading to you blurting something out 🤣
Aromatic_Tourist4676@reddit
You speak and tell her what you’re thinking and explain that you’ll hang back
MaxMouseOCX@reddit
And... Say what?
Aromatic_Tourist4676@reddit
Just to let you know, I’m walking home, I’m going to hang back here to let you go ahead… I don’t know, you’d have to see what came naturally to you, I just think sometimes that saying something can break that fear factor… dunno, it’s tricky
Arabatta@reddit
From a woman’s perspective who does sometimes cut through the woods on the way home at night (yes stupid I know), just overtaking and carry on walking away in front seems to spook me the least. At least having you in eyesight distanced in front I know you’re not likely after me :)
MaxMouseOCX@reddit
Hopefully I don't find myself in that situation again, I get it... Being a woman, dark and all that shit, most of us would rather help or just say "hi" than do anything weird... I think? I hope... I can only speak for myself I guess.
But we can't do shit in that situation, I'm not measuring my experience up to yours, because fearing for your life is obviously worse, but I felt like shit when I'd frightened her by existing and walking home in the same direction she was - if I'd gotten closer it'd have made it worse maybe, if I'd have said absolutely anything that'd have made it worse.
So I took the path of least resistance - I just stopped.
Matchaparrot@reddit
Don't take it personally. She is trying to keep herself safe as you say and she likely has trauma. You did the right thing in this situation
blueroses8000@reddit
Yes I was replying to you as a man that is acknowledging and understanding it.
Even though you will have freaked her out no matter what you did, the fact that you had awareness about it and tried to minimise it as much as possible makes a big difference and if every man did that then it will reduce how often women will unnecessarily feel scared.
You did the best option btw. Personally for me I think I’d actually like it if the man just said something and acknowledged all this and said I’ll hang back to make you feel safe, but I know that could be extremely weird in the moment, many men would find it hard to say and many women might get more freaked out by that.
ArmWildFrill@reddit
Worst first date for men they can imagine: told they don't like you and you're ugly
Worst first date for women they can imagine: you are raped and murdered.
Content-Yogurt-4859@reddit
You're right, of course, but there have been female serial killers and some women do kill men, but a man's probably as likely to win the lottery as meet a grizzly end on a first date.
Yelloow_eoJ@reddit
Don't bring grizzlies into this, that's a whole other question
Exile56678@reddit
I'm picking the bear
user_460@reddit
Vs 100 angry squirrels?
Content-Yogurt-4859@reddit
Who got to the bag of cocaine first?
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
Rose West, comes to mind.
Single-Position-4194@reddit
No, this is true.
Tall_Opportunity_521@reddit
Sure didnt take long for this to turn into a thread about women... did it?
blueroses8000@reddit
Is the whole post about women now because of these two comments? And do you want to reply to the original comment made by a man instead of to my reply to him bringing it up first?
Also is it your first time participating on Reddit and experiencing discussions going off on tangents?
Tall_Opportunity_521@reddit
No, its not my first time on reddit. Which is why Im pointing it out, cos every time the same happens the other way, all you people do is fucking moan about how "this is a thread for women. If you wanna talk about men, make your own threads!!!!!!" and every single fucking time, THIS happens.
blueroses8000@reddit
And who is “you people”.
When does the same happen the other way round, when does the subject of women approaching men and scaring them happen?
Let me ask you again, why are you replying to me acting aggressive instead of the MAN who brought this subject up? It’s extremely telling.
You seem really unhinged right now and making a spectacle of yourself.
tinned_peaches@reddit
What if a big scary meathead man slapped your arse?
MaxMouseOCX@reddit
See, that's actually happened a LOT more times than a woman has done it...
What if? Nothing, shits funny; but again a big guy doesn't particularly threaten me either.
... I've never had my ass slapped in such a way that I felt threatened though, and I'm not really even sure what that would look like?
Tl;dr: more guys have slapped my ass than women, yes they're straight as far as I know (so am I) - no fucks given so far.
tinned_peaches@reddit
It’s not too bad in a nightclub because you kind of expect it to some extent. It’s when you’re on public transport or alone together it gets scary but I don’t think that was the theme of the og question.
eerst@reddit
A lot? Mate... All.
Holiday-Ad-270@reddit
Exactly! Something that's a given no-no to do to a woman especially as a stranger!
FranzFerdinand51@reddit
Also, “strong discomfort” is a hilarious way of saying screaming at the top of their lungs and calling the police.
360Saturn@reddit
I'd think partly due to the size & strength differential
If it was a woman that towered a foot over you with huge hands the bloke might feel differently
Rosehiphedgerow@reddit
I wonder if this is true... judging by how many men I see saying they want a big muscle mommy or big goth gf to crush them 👀 lmao
WonderfulNecessary81@reddit
Keep going
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
China the professional body builder, who’s also working in a dentist, who I meet and chatted to, comes to mind.
I’ll honestly talk to anyone and then walk away, without ask a female out. I am my own worst enemy.
The_Bravinator@reddit
Look at the romance/romantasy media market. Women fantasise about that too...in fiction. Very different when it's a safe fantasy VS when it's actually a threat to your physical safety.
QuaintHeadspace@reddit
Don't threaten me with a good time
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I once meet a 6.3ft woman in Revaluation De Cuba in Manchester. I am the same height as her. Her mates “ Fanny blocked her tho. Telling me she’d gone home, as I asked what’d she was”.
It was a woman on a night out who I heard that say to her other mate that. I used to go out a lot and now I don’t. My mate told me not to approach a hen do, as you’ve got to entertain them all. You’ve also got to be careful of a few of them lying you, as I found out the hard way.
Altruistic_Dare6085@reddit
I mean, it isn't super common, but I do know someone who deliberately sought out unsavoury attention from adults when she was a teenage girl because of how lonely she was and how low her self-esteem was. Obviously as an adult her view of the situation was "holy shit that was really dangerous, why did none of the adults in my life notice what was happening and intervene?".
I think "any attention, even creepy negative attention, is better than no attention" is something that's associated more with loneliness and with low self-esteem than with gender. Part of the problem is society is very weird about how it talks about sexual harrassment in gendered ways that are very different, which makes it look like there are more universal differences in reaction than there actually are, I think?
When it comes to women there is a strong victim blaming tendency, where not looking like a "perfect victim" leads to getting attacked or told you deserved what happened. So there is this unspoken pressure to just not talk about more complicated emotional reactions to sexual harrassment, because "I was in a bad place so I didn't entirely hate getting attention even if it was through harrassment" risks getting read as "so that means it wasn't harrassment and you were asking for it", or even worse "see, women like it when I grope them so I'll just keep doing that". So "messier" situations/reactions just don't get talked about publically.
And with men the problem is that there's this unspoken pressure that acts like women can never commit sexual violence against men, and that if a man is victimised by a woman or admits to feeling afraid of/violated by a woman he's acting in an unmanly way and should be mocked. So with guys the reverse is happening, where stories about men being sexually harrassed and had a strong wholly negative response to that aren't really getting discussed publically either. That also has the knock-on effect of some men just not recognising what happened to them "counts" as harrassment. I think women tend to be slightly better at recognising those situations for what they are due to the combination of being more at risk of harrassment, and also growing up with this toxic pressure where it's seen as their responsibility to avoid a threatening situation by doing the "right thing". Sorry I ended up writing a much longer answer than I intended.
Matchaparrot@reddit
Brilliant answer, this is so true both victim blaming with woman and denial and accusations of being soft with men.
I've been abused by both men and women, I got all kinds of victim blaming.
He was just flirting and I should be grateful he gave me attention.
She was just jealous of you
I should just ignore it.
You must've been accidentally flirting with them
You need to tell her to fuck off more strongly
You must've been annoying
"You're of an age where people start looking for partners, you should be careful" (these people were ten years older than me)
Why didn't you fight back and punch them
And my personal favourite after telling someone I'd been abused by both men and women -
"Not all men"
5im0n5ay5@reddit
I think it's more a question of who the slapper is rather than who is slapped...
TheRobotPikachu@reddit
Maybe it's different for me as an AMAB with gender identity issues, but one time I got touched on my bum by someone working in a charity shop, and I avoided that place for about a month or two hoping that she would stop working after a while. I still take a moment to look around whenever I enter just to make sure.
RobertTheSpruce@reddit
So jealous right now.
MaxMouseOCX@reddit
Recon I'd get away with a tshirt that says "casual sexual harassment welcome" or is that pushing it a bit? 🤣
RobertTheSpruce@reddit
I recon you'd make a fortune selling them.
Homebrew_in_a_Shed@reddit
Some sober woman slapped my ass in the supermarket. During covid, so I had a mask on . She thought I was her boyfriend. I laughed, she was mortified.
JoshAGould@reddit
My brother did that to a man getting changed in the swimming pool when we were younger (he was like 4/5 iirc).
From what I remember all parties involved took it well, but he never lived that one down.
veryblocky@reddit
That’s quite funny
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I was in Liverpool in the beetles bar and I was leaving, a good looking woman bumped into me on purpose, so I said “ you nearly took me out with your big arse but that’s ok”. So wanted me to stay and it was her way of doing it.
I was leaving and my phone was dying, which I needed to ring my mate. I am stupid I know. I left and never seen her again. I pulled in the next club and kissed two women, getting one of there numbers but I kissed 2 woman and they were part of the same group.
Only I could do that and I didn’t know it, before doing it. I’ve done crazy things and I am happy in my self celibate state, as I do crazy things, left to my own devices and around drunk women.
MaroonJam@reddit
Fuck yeah enjoy the ride. I bet you do have an amazing ass!
D0ntEatPaper@reddit
.... Pics or it didn't happen (of dat ass)
luffyuk@reddit
Reverse sexes and reread this exchange.
MaroonJam@reddit
Would never happen as thats 2 women and a compliment
-tekeli-li@reddit
Well, you got sexually assaulted. You've admitted you just liked it and so gave it a pass, but that says a lot in itself. Not necessarily about you, more than where men are stuck at it with this sort of thing in general.
murrzeak@reddit
I would too
Revolutionary_Pierre@reddit
"back that big, bodacious, beautiful butt in here tuts!" 😏
Ngl I'd have rode that high too
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
I've never seen you but can confirm, you got a great arse mate x
MaxMouseOCX@reddit
I'll take it, cheers!
Akko101@reddit
Donkeys are pretty cool to be fair. Though not sure it deserved a slap.
adamfirth146@reddit
The closest was when me and my then gf (now wife) were at the gym and I was using a leg machine (cant remember which exactly) and a random bloke wearing a top with the local rugby club on came up to me to give me advice about working out legs, told me he was very impressed with how strong my legs are, I should do rugby and then left.
Definitely don't think he was chatting me up but a random bloke complimenting me in front of my mrs gave me a huge confidence boost, especially when he was massive himself.
giantthanks@reddit
The comments on this are funny to me. They all realise too late that they were being approached, and there are two camps - those who laugh about it, and those who are upset.
But the truth is about you. You don't take every approach you get. You didn't pick up on her approach for a reason ... Perhaps you weren't into her enough to be looking for signs and stuff, perhaps you were seeing someone else - or pursuing someone else, and you closed yourself off? It's not an opportunity you missed (it's probably a bullet dodged). Maybe your guardian angel saved you from sliding doors life changing bad events?
On a positive note. I have found out like so many men, of such missed chances. And that is something I like to remind myself about when I'm feeling down because it shows that you don't know the bigger picture. There are probably people out there who fancy you from afar. People who envy you, admire you, copy you. You could easily be an unconscious influencer!
Think also about the maths... Men realise too late about the handful of times they've been approached. They are not remembering all of these events, merely some. What they recall is the tip of the iceberg. And of all the times they've been approached in any way, is the tip of another iceberg... Those who wanted to approach, but held themselves back.
That means that throughout your life you have been considered in a very appreciative and positive way by a great many people! How wonderful is that? You blindly wander about totally oblivious to it all!
And, you know what? It's still going on right now. It is. It must be. It's guaranteed and you still remain as unconvinced and feel as unworthy as you always have ..!
geth1962@reddit
I've been approached a few times and each time I thought they were taking the piss. I did recently get checked out by a much younger woman. I'm 64 next month, but I've been told I look a lot younger. My partner thought the way I went red was hilarious
Smidday90@reddit
I was in a pub for my leaving do and a woman kept flirting with me, told her I had a gf and she would grab my hair and stuff the more drunk she got.
AndrewHinds67@reddit
I was approached online by a woman back in 2014. I'm in the UK, she is American. We've had a long distance relationship that's lasted 12 years and yes, we have met and even lived together while she's visited the UK.
A woman approached me at RIAT campsite in 2022 when I was putting my tent up. She was in her 70s so I wasn't interested, but I hung out with her and her daughter for the weekend and added them as friends on Facebook.
Apart from that, I never get a second look or even a first.
extraaveragedude@reddit
Every single time I go out for a ride on my bike, exclusively by men. Never been approached by a woman that's a stranger to me in any situation.
LionOfVienna91@reddit
Apparently often, but I never notice and just think they’re being friendly. My partner pointed this out and said I’m completely blind to it. Maybe a man thing
Chemical-Lettuce2497@reddit
In day to day life? Never
In the pub? Fairly often
Which is terrible, because I'm not at the pub to meet anyone generally.
Urist_Macnme@reddit
Actually. Quite a bit. Being able to sing and play the guitar quite well seems to help a lot. Otherwise I’d get no interests.
Mr_Emile_heskey@reddit
I chose to be a bass player. My other bands members have loads of girls talking to me but I end up with some old bloke asking about my tuning lol.
beanstarvedbeast@reddit
Drummer here, by the time I pack up everyone forgets we even played.
Qyro@reddit
It's either that or comments about the bass itself. Had one guy complement my tone once.
Urist_Macnme@reddit
Standard or….?
Mr_Emile_heskey@reddit
Drop e most of the time
Own_Translator7008@reddit
Drop E is the resonant frequency of human ovaries, you've already impregnated your female fans and they leave early in a dignified silence.
nihility24@reddit
Hahaha can’t imagine what would happen if he played in drop D !
SnooHesitations6727@reddit
Flats?
JackofBlades0125@reddit
As eddie murphy once said “All you’ve got to do is sing!”
sawn-off-snotgun@reddit
Or Bill Withers said. “Boy, you sure do get better looking when you get a hit record"
Esoteric_Prurience@reddit
I play keyboards and theremin. You get the girls - I get middle aged IT guys flock to me.
I should have learned guitar...
Wolfdreama@reddit
Honestly, I am absolutely facinated by the theremin so I would absolutely have approached you haha.
Esoteric_Prurience@reddit
I noticed you are a mod of the very town in which I live. I'll find a pub and put on a theremin night! I might struggle though. Theremin busking on the square?
Wolfdreama@reddit
haha that sounds awesome!
twillett@reddit
Been playing guitar once or twice a week at a local bar since July 2024 and this has never happened to me once lol. I guarantee you that you are not an average looking guy.
Interesting_Lime1120@reddit
What genre do you play? Heavy metalcore doesnt seem to have the same effect unfortunately.
Urist_Macnme@reddit
Do my own songs mostly about my own neuroses. All straight from my heart, so quite broken. Just me and an acoustic, I would say a kind of progressive jazz folk rock.
Old_Crow_5646@reddit
Women: "I can fix him!"
elmo298@reddit
Wow, his rendition of wonderwall was so heartfelt!
Wolfdreama@reddit
I'm surprised. Plenty of women into that at Download etc.
Old_Crow_5646@reddit
Women like a man who has good fingering technique. A tale as old as time.
jimmery@reddit
Public displays of confidence & competance are universally attractive.
Joeboy@reddit
Transferable skills.
cleb9200@reddit
Ha ha yes this true. Until I joined my first band in the 90s girls never looked at me twice. Then at 19 I joined a band and was like oh damn why did I wait til I was 19
Lopsided_Pain4744@reddit
I’m fairly good looking and sing and play the guitar and fucking nothing happens. I reckon you’re better than you think maestro!
Routine_Ad1823@reddit
Casanova Lament
ChelseaMourning@reddit
Can confirm that guitars are a pussy magnet.
Source: Am a former groupie
Joeboy@reddit
I've played guitar in bands on and off since the '90s, never once got romantically approached at a gig.
FudgeVillas@reddit
I look like I live under a bridge, but can confirm this.
lokodiz@reddit
But can you play Under the Bridge??
fergie@reddit
Can confirm. Basically the main reason that bands exist.
BeachTheHam13@reddit
A damning insight into how fickle society is
Queeflet@reddit
No, he just picked the right starting class. Bards get all the women.
Urist_Macnme@reddit
Those poor poor wizards.
furexfurex@reddit
How is being more interested in someone who shows passion and skill in something rather than purely physical appearance proof that we are fickle lol
Civil-Koala-8899@reddit
Yeah I don't get that take at all. It's also a good conversation starter, it's easier to go up to a guy and say 'hey I liked your music' than just be like 'hey I think you're hot'
Urist_Macnme@reddit
Nah man. It’s just looks aren’t the only thing that a woman can find attractive.
Nirnroot_Enjoyer@reddit
Even in my 18 to mid-20s years, where I was single and sociable, I'm not sure I was ever aware of being approached.
But I am also quite introverted, and lake the social awareness to have recognised it.
My best success was via FB DMs and then tinder..
DogDrools@reddit
Never once approached by a woman. Other than sex workers.
EverybodySayin@reddit
Twice in my adult life. But it's been far more common for women to try to catch my eye and smile at me as if to invite me to approach. I don't most of the time just in case they're being polite, I just smile back and then look away 😅
Ok-Yogurtcloset3467@reddit
Its almost always an invitation for you to chat to them. Rarely pure politeness if eye contact (with a smile) is made more than once.
Mean-Aside1970@reddit
as a woman I can confirm that is definitely an invitation to go over and chat
Mystery_Worker4268@reddit
Not one single time in 33 years.
_Xemplar@reddit
Every few days pretty much.
tonimutiny@reddit
More so after being engaged and married. Perhaps its the security and air of confidence I breathe in knowing I have the woman of my dreams at home, waiting for me.
Most memorable time was after I got engaged and I was at the pub with my best mate. We were chatting and waiting for another friend and a girl approached asking for a lighter as me and my friend continued conversation. She turned to my friend and asked him what he was on about. Then she whispered something to him. Suddenly she turned to me and repeated aloud "I think you're fit". I giggled and told her I was engaged. She retorted she always seemed to approach taken men. My friend and I chortled and he said "it must feel good" and I'll admit, it did.
feed_the_gooat@reddit
When I was 16, I was very stubborn. I somehow managed to be dating the hottest girl in our year at school and we were at home in my bedroom. I was playing football manager on my computer (Duh). She said don’t play computer games and to encourage me not to, she undressed completely and just stood there. To my 16 year old self, I felt like I didn’t want to be told what to do and carried on playing the game really just because she had told me not to.
I’m 37 now and I still think about this moment. Not only because it was a missed opportunity, but more importantly because she was so shy and I know how much it must have taken to do this. It’s legitimately one of my biggest regrets in life because she was a beautiful person inside and out and I made her feel stupid and unwanted.
pastyMorrisDancers@reddit
Once in my life, ever. And I’m mid-40’s now
HistoricalCold4299@reddit
I've been approached on nights out. Not frequently, but it happened sometimes during my uni days.
In day to day life, honestly, almost never. Weird, because I feel like I've grown into my looks a bit more now, and have more mass on me from working out.
Apparently I'm good-looking, but I find that so hard to believe based on how little attention (read: basically zero) I get in real life.
UsedExamination4149@reddit
Very rarely by women. More often although still seldom by gay men. Unfortunately, I’m straight.
lostintimeforver@reddit
Used to only happen in nightclubs in my youth. Was the only way I'd get with a girl because I was too timid myself.
Nowadays, it doesn't really happen like an approach. Some girls are probably just being friendly and smile.
Hot-Narwhal1885@reddit
Yes once, about 15 years ago a gorgeous woman walked right up to me and looked me in the eyes with a smile on her face. Not sure what happened next the shock made me black out, she might have been asking for directions.
veryblocky@reddit
Literally never
Primary-Ad-3480@reddit
I get approached a lot on dating apps my bumble seems to be booming at the moment.
In person though like in a bar or club ooooo perhaps once a decade haha.
Even being set up by friends just doesn't happen as a man culturally it's on you it seems
docju@reddit
Where it was 100% certain that’s what was happening? Never.
Where I had suspicions or late realisations? A couple of times. Once I was reading in a coffee shop in December, and this woman came up to me and said she really liked my Christmas jumper. I said “thank you, I got it from Next” and went back to my book. I didn’t realise until later that this might have been an approach but to be honest I just don’t know.
Maylian81@reddit
I remember as a lets say 16 year old I was visiting my mum's boyfriend to play some games over the LAN.
He was training as a nurse and lived in a house share. A female housemate of his was home and whilst I was waiting for my go we chatted and I offered to tidy her room, which she was very happy to accept.
So I tidied up her room and she asked me which underwear set of hers I preferred (getting changed in front of me). I told her which and finished tidying the room and went to play (I think Command and Conquer: Red Alert). I didn't realise until I went home that this may have been an opportunity....
Porticulus@reddit
Dude... Red Alert. Well fun game!
Tu2d2d@reddit
I did this in my mid-20s. I worked a closing shift with a colleague. She was insistent on showing me her newest tattoo on her ass before we closed up. She stripped to her thong after closing, to show me her cheeks. I complimented the tattoo and said it wouldn't look right on my skin tone, and walked off to switch the rest of the lights off...
...sometimes I wonder if i'm autistic.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
You are and I am also. You can read the 7-8 crazy stories that I wrote above. I’ve worked with people in a professional manner who also are and I am lucky that I a funny, when I want to be and good at making friends.
I am very good at masking until I ain’t.
Cow_Launcher@reddit
To be fair, 16 is a pretty awkward time. You're becoming an adult, (and might even be the size of one) but you're likely dangerously under-equipped to deal with that sort of interaction.
I can't help wondering what went through her head after you left though!
Maylian81@reddit
Yeah, every once in a while I kick myself for being that oblivious.
Kooky-Surround-3350@reddit
Mate, you were literally still a child. In fact it's pretty dodgy she was behaving like that.
I'd be retrospectively kicking myself too though tbf (I know because pretty much exact same thing happened to me at 17).
docju@reddit
Yeah I really wanted to ask how old she was because I’d expect his mum’s boyfriend’s housemate to be a fair bit older- sounds like OP himself did nothing wrong though
docju@reddit
Haha why did you offer to tidy her room?
Maylian81@reddit
A combination of being bored, but also being neurodiverse with a hint of OCD, especially at that age I liked tidying and organising stuff.
121daysofsodom@reddit
14 years later, about to bite into a muffin:
"Hang on, was she flirting with me?"
Incitatus_For_Office@reddit
T'ose women were in da nip!!
Porticulus@reddit
To often by men (I'm not gay, but apparently I look like a buff gay Tom Cruise... I still don't know how to take that) and not often enough by women! And the women that do are either too young or a good bit older. Maybe one day I'll get lucky.
Iamthefirestartaa@reddit
A women walked into subway as I was ordering a sandwich and grabbed my balls. Does that count ? :s
Salty-Shelter-6847@reddit
never been approached or had anyone show any interest
Conman2205@reddit
Never once in my life. Have flirted but never once been asked out on a date or anything like that.
It has always been me who has had to make the first move without fail if I wanted any chance of going on a date.
I don’t think I fall into the conventionally attractive male appearance as I am on the shorter side (though still taller than most average height women) and quite slim so have my work cut out for me a lot.
That being said in line with your post, I rarely approach women in that way for fear of being labelled as creepy or a nuisance. It’s almost as though you are socially expected to use a dating app now rather than ask out a woman in person.
MattB256@reddit
With hair and in my early/mid 20s? Quite a few times, around 10
Bald and approaching 30? Never
PatchworkMann@reddit
Usually never, i was attractive as a teen up through my early 20s, as ive hit mid 20s and gained some fat and started to look more my age i get catcalled by girls from taxis and hit on at bars by women eyeing me up to "make sure no woman was coming down from the smoking area behind me after 10 minutes"
Id say like once a week-two weeks
WonderfulNecessary81@reddit
Once, in the late 90s, a girl thought I was in the army because I was wearing some fashionable army style shirt. Yep that was it, that was the one time I was ever approached. I still crack open a beer and reminisce on the anniversary.
SpiderSixer@reddit
My boyfriend says he is semi frequently approached by other people that start to flirt with him before he says he's taken xD
I have never been approached lmao. But to be fair, I never go out
Anansi-the-Spider@reddit
Yes very flattering when I was younger and single but in my late forties a drunk student in her mid twenties got far to close for comfort and I had to take evasive actions
audigex@reddit
In bars and clubs, maybe 20-30 times
Outside of that, a handful of times
This was about 10-20 years ago when I was younger, though - I feel like it’s become rarer nowadays even for younger folk (for me personally I assume the baby I’m carrying indicates I’m probably taken even if my partner isn’t with me…)
GrantandPhil@reddit
I did a few times working in Germany. I used to walk home through a red light area after work and the prostitutes would sometimes go right up to you and hit on you. It's weird being hit on as a guy, even if they look sexy you recoil. I didn't like it.
EyeAware3519@reddit
March 11th 1998. 9:16 PM. Weatherspoon's Cheltenham.
A random lady said I had nice eyes.
She was about 20 years older than me and could barely stand up but I still think about it.
Academic-Chocolate57@reddit
Bank house or moon under the water?
Aretisa@reddit
username checkout
Drakhn@reddit
But how come nobody can spell Wetherspoon correctly?
121daysofsodom@reddit
It's a terrible spell of wether.
CorpusCalossum@reddit
Weather or not they can spell Whetherspoons is irrelevant if they can't whether the storm
jack_watson97@reddit
My wife was the leading force between us getting together. Before that ive been 'approached' in clubs by 2 women that I went home with, but not by sober women wanting to go on a proper date or anything
FrostyScene1930@reddit
I'm 43, it really depends on my mindset, am I feel good in my body, in my mind, am I receptive?... Last few years I would say about 3-5 times a year, it comes and go.
bertiebasit@reddit
Men will rarely get approached…women will tend to hover around them if they are interested
Frosty_Leg4438@reddit
I get approached by ladies the whole time but am gay and have a theory…
When I was younger I used to get ID’d a lot, even when quite a bit older. and think, because I was worried about being ID’d I gave off a subconscious vibe that stores picked up on.
I think it’s something similar here, by not being interested in women, I give off some sort of subconscious signal that, paradoxically, makes it easier/more desirable for them to flirt?
Prestigious_Elk353@reddit
same with me and dogs. i don’t like them particularly, have no interest in petting me. but it a room full of people who’d love a cuddle they’ll come and sit next to me.
Frosty_Leg4438@reddit
Interestingly that’s actually a known phenomenon with cats!
Cats take staring as a threat. Socially cats are supposed to dip their heads and look away when they meet to show they’re not exerting dominance/fighting.
This doesn’t translate well with humans.
If you like a cat and stare at it, it will take it as a threat and typically walk away (as you’re bigger).
If you don’t like them and look away in disgust etc, it will take it as a friendly sign of non-dominance and approach you.
mrman08@reddit
TIL I am a cat. I try to avoid eye contact wherever possible.
No_Camp_7@reddit
I don’t like cats and I experience exactly this. I experience this a fair bit with all wild animals too.
Ok-Blackberry-3534@reddit
I'm imagining some sort of Snow White scenario where bluebird and rabbits follow you around.
No_Camp_7@reddit
Balanced out by this one time I walked past a London fox and it started growling loudly at me.
Demonthief27@reddit
Better than it screaming
PrimaryFace_733@reddit
Yep. I have a really bad cat allergy and they never leave me alone lol
Over-Language2599@reddit
In the end I gave in, and started liking dogs.
Does get awkward if the dog starts trotting along with me, and not the owner who is walking away in the opposite direction.
Matchaparrot@reddit
I'm lesbian and have the same problem 😢 it's always men who approach me it gets annoying. I'd like a girl to approach me for once rather than me always having to do it
jakedaboiii@reddit
Doubt all that very much - if you're gay and clearly gay then women aren't approaching you to hit on you.
Majority of guys, like 99.9% are going about their day not going after a girl - they aren't being approached.
The case of girls not approaching isn't because there aren't attractive guys, it's coz it's scary approaching someone, and girls generally don't need to resort to such tactics as they have a larger pool of mates that are already into them.
And you probably got ID'd a lot because you look young
Frosty_Leg4438@reddit
No, originally I got ID’d because I looked (and was) young, but it persisted into my 30s and I’m entirely sure it’s because it had now become a “thing” (it was in the back of my mind whenever I bought alcohol), hence giving off subconscious signals of some sort the store would equate to the signals underage people gave.
I also don’t think I “look gay”.
Not meaning to be mean, but that’s a famous survivor bias thing, the vast majority of us look like regular people.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I am not doxing myself but I look 10-12 years younger then I am actually am.
jakedaboiii@reddit
Fair enough, I just don't believe that girls are approaching you all because you're not looking for them.
Honey-Badger@reddit
I wonder if that related to the theory that men get hit on more when they're wearing a wedding ring.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
My ex boss used to say “ I’ve had more sex as a married man, than I ever did as a single one. As women love what they can’t have”.
He was a serial cheat and I don’t agree with it, at all but some people do it regardless. Women have kissed me on nights out and I’ve asked if they are single and they say no.
Now I could have asked first but I was young and normally drunk.
UuusernameWith4Us@reddit
Confidence is attractive. Men who are nervous/insecure/shy/"pick me" around women are less attractive than ones who are aloof or disinterested because those traits come across as confident.
Unlucky-Public-2947@reddit
It’s not just about what you look like specifically it’s sometimes about what you don’t look like, and with a lot of men that’s a desperate / player scanning the room mentally ranking the females on scales of availability, getability and attractiveness.
txe4@reddit
100% this.
Deeply and profoundly uninterested in them is the most attractive to random ladies.
ExtravagentLasagne@reddit
The only reason me and my now wife are married, is because 13 years ago she turned round to me while we were drunk and said "are you going to kiss me or not" 😂
mrman08@reddit
Never knowingly. I can say that with confidence.
KeiZera_w0w@reddit
Honestly, it depends a lot on where you are, what time it is and who you hang around/what you're wearing.
I'm a gym bro, and when I go for runs in the heat, I'll sometimes take my shirt off - and since I run through residential neighbourhoods, I've been stopped a handful of times by girls hanging out near their or their friends' houses.
What surprised me is that most of my experiences have actually been quite rude/gross, with the girls even complaining when I say "sorry, I have a girlfriend", or just acting like it isn't a big deal. When I was at college it was almost every day, probably because most guys in Sixth Form don't train.
It's definitely not a daily occurrence but often enough to have several stories from the last 2 years. It slows down a lot once you aren't around teenagers constantly.
XharKhan@reddit
Never have been, im 50.
I are obviously, a right fucking minger 🤭.
If my wife takes her glasses off, she cant see the end of her own nose...thats how im married I guess 🤫
Ok-Zookeepergame-698@reddit
How would your average man know the answer to this question. We are all clueless.
RobertTheSpruce@reddit
I don't even acknowledge that women ever approach men. I don't believe that it's a thing.
NewEntrepreneur3620@reddit
What does it mean if in my mid forties, twice in the last few years, an attractive woman has engaged me in conversation at a party and we've talked, holding eye contact for what seems like forever, excluding anyone around us and they have laid their hands on my chest and thighs at various points, have I missed something...🤣
krypto-pscyho-chimp@reddit
Women approach men? Really?
Ok-Literature473@reddit
lol
Significant-Bed375@reddit
0 except for cold calls
Rhinoceraptor37@reddit
I was harassed as a teenager by an older woman in her late 30's/early 40's at a bus stop. I was a certain type and clearly she was hammered and decided my look was what she wanted. I was pestered, groped (touching my face, my chest, running her hands up the inside of my thought and stroking my dick through my jeans) and invited back to hers to fuck her. All of which I politely declined (it was just me and her at the bus stop) and being Sunday hours I walked to the next stop, which she followed me. Eventually I wandered off and managed to lose her, missing an additional bus and waiting 2 hours for another.
It made me feel really uncomfortable that she wouldn't take no for an answer. It's not every woman, but that day it was a woman, thankfully nothing happened, I could have gone back and probably caught a kicking off her husband/partner or worst case scenario caught a rape charge when she regretted it the next day. It definitely was an eye-opener.
I now teach my daughter how to act if that happens to her and have taught her martial arts to get her point across/defend herself should she need to.
I used to get a fair amount of attention in my late teens/early twenties as I was into rock/metal and had that long hair attitude style
Nowadays, I still think I've got it, but my hairs fallen out and I don't have the physique I once did, so no, I don't get approached. At all.
BigPais@reddit
Got approached by a young lady who not only commented on my tattoos but gently traced them with her finger. Looked me square in the eyes and said "I really want you" and kissed me on the cheek and gave me her number. We had a chat but I will not be contacting her. I'm 48 and she is 23! far too young. If she was 10yrs older I'd have gone further.
Darth-__-Maul@reddit
It happens so little that I’d honestly be a bit confused if it did. Like are you trying to get free drinks or something?
I had a woman slap my ass in a club once and when I told her not to do it again she told the bouncer I did it to her and got me kicked out lol.
Witty_Difficulty1697@reddit
No, never. Stares now and then. But a direct obvious approach, no, never.
spinners_888@reddit
I'm straight.
A couple of times by girls at crappy nightclubs in my uni days who grabbed my waist, then fondled and pinched my bum. I didn't like it whatsoever and I gave back dirty looks even though one of them winked back at me. If I was drunk I would been frisky and chased the girls.
I've been hit on a few times in gay clubs and gay men. One guy tried to kiss me but I was so surprised I almost fell backwards; had a stalker at one particular nightclub; I've been fondled few times front & rear. I feel this is partly my fault as I'm more confident chatting to blokes (casual chit chat) whereas in a nightclub setting I feel like I'm being a sex pest chatting to women.
Other-Wonder-633@reddit
I carry several shitty sticks every time I go outside.
PaulyIDS@reddit
I was walking my dog the other day, a women looked at me 3 times (I’ve still got it I thought) she was pushing her daughter on a swing. As I got closer she gave me one last look before moving her bag and pushchair away from my direction….she thought I was too going to mug her.
kipha01@reddit
Never, I am married but neither my wife nor I wear our rings because they need resizing.
Ok_Raspberry4814@reddit
It’s happened a few times, but it’s never wanted and never goes well.
Comfortable-Place237@reddit
Been approached once in my life which actually led to a few dates but didn’t go further than that.
I am an attractive guy who tends to appear quite approachable. Girls don’t approach or initiate anything in my experience, I wish they would more often to level the playing field a bit because it is exhausting being a guy in the dating game.
CartoonistNo9@reddit
Hardly ever. A few years ago I was on a night out, went for a smoke. An attractive girl started talking to me, introduced me and my mate to her pal/colleague. She touched my arm/shoulder a few times, “I like your shirt”, “you’re funny”. Told me that they both work for the same oil company in the Middle East but they we’re stopping over in my town for 2 days on the way out there and they’ve got a hotel nearby, they don’t really know their way around and wanted to find somewhere cool etc etc. And I was like “right well enjoy the rest of your visit” and went back inside. I nearly punched myself in the balls the next again morning when I replayed the scenario and that girl standing there wondering what more she could’ve said or done.
JoniDeadpool@reddit
Never. I've been out shopping and my mate said "She was flirting with you" and I always just think people are being polite/nice. My autism has me like that.
But I'm not everyone's cup of tea Long hair, long beard, dad bod, bright blue eyes. I look like a Nord.
Psychological-Fox97@reddit
Remember that year when Iceland had the volcano go off and all the flights got fucked up? So yeah then.
Phnix21@reddit
Never, but I'm kinda ugly anyway.
Most_Life_1612@reddit
Loads of times! Usually the woman in question will come up to me, and say 'excuse me, can me and my friends have this table?' but an approach is an approach insofar as it involves motion towards.
Of course, it means I have to find somewhere else to sit, which can be awkward as Hell ..
Kickkickkarl@reddit
Depends upon your age I guess
Figgzyvan@reddit
Never. I must have ‘married’ written on my face.
kernowjim@reddit
Never.
Oldfart_karateka@reddit
So rarely that I would be very, very suspicious if it ever happened
ok2888@reddit
For the whole of my first year of university, I was convinced that girls showing interest in me was some sort of attempt to mock me since nothing like that had ever happened to me before.
So I would mostly ignore it or sometimes even got annoyed at them since I basically thought they were trying to bully me. Eventually I gained a reputation and girls stopped trying, and told their friends not to bother as well. That was how I left uni still a virgin.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I even had my friend offer up his ex, so I could sleep with my first woman at 16. She fancied me and he wasn’t a pimp. I said no, he was disappointed in me, as was she.
Getting John wicked and excommunicado, by all the women in a university, is a whole different level of cock blocking yourself. Even having female friends helps you with other women, in any other social situation, unless they openly fancy you.
It’s a good job that I am funny and can be charming when I went to be, or I’d of been the 40 year old virgin, in real life. I put zero effort into dating and I still do but it works more as an adult in having zero expectations in a random conversation.
I used to work in a phone shop and this really attractive woman used to come in. I chatted to her a few times, and eventually I said to her, “ you only come in to chat to me”. She openly turned around and said “ yeh I do”.
I did nothing, I didn’t ask for her number to take her out or anything. I did the hard part and fumbled in a way that’s disrespectful to the human race. I can’t be too serious for too long, as it bores me. I also refuse to use emojis.
ok2888@reddit
I did actually have a fair few female friends at uni, as my fear only extended to women who found me attractive. Unfortunately, they all seemed to do the classic thing of not telling me if someone they knew found me attractive until years later if at all.
Just a few weeks ago one of my best friends told me that her friend who I met 6 years ago apparently told her point blank that she wanted to sleep with me, something she for some reason just didn't tell me at the time.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I had a lesbian friend who I had no problems with fancying me or not, so she openly sat me to with women, which was nice but not want I needed or even wanted.
I like to earn things myself, or the attention of someone. Woman have openly told me they liked me and I still did nothing. I am a vibe guy and I loved the Yorkshire woman who I got to say “ you know nothing John Snow”. She had an amazing personality but wasn’t single.
Her boyfriend wanted to kill me but I was only talking to her. Vibes over, “ putting it on a plate for me”.
Oldfart_karateka@reddit
Once on a night out a mate told me one of the girls we knew wanted me to walk her home, so I did, gave her a hug on the doorstep then walked back to the pub, only for my mate to say "What are you doing back here?" Misread that one totally! 🤣
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I am so glad that it’s not just me.
dantes_b1tch@reddit
I agree. Would be super suspicious to the point I would think they were trying to con me or something
Aretisa@reddit
why? assuming you have interacted for a bit and there is some spark, good conversation...
dantes_b1tch@reddit
That's different where there is already a level of interaction, but if you appeared in front of me out of the blue and started flirting with me, I'd be confused.
Aretisa@reddit
yeah ok, I would also find that weird
Cyan_Oceans@reddit
I had a woman hit on me at like 11pm at a pizza hut (which is the only time ive ever gone in the past 2 years). I was impressed she shot her shot but she wasn't my type and a little tipsy. She seemed nice enough but it was the only time someone in London has hit on me.
SoOutThere@reddit
Never, I don't look like a person.
lan0028456@reddit
2 times by gay men, 3 times by churchman...
Wessex-90@reddit
Never (36 year old and single).
Far-Cloud4407@reddit
Very rarely… probably 2-3 times a year
Payne_by_name@reddit
Ridiculously rare. You become so conditioned to being utterly invisible in a bar or club, that if a woman does actually see you you assume it's because you have done something wrong or she is looking at someone behind you.
IamFilthyCasual@reddit
I don’t think I’ve ever been approached by a girl in my life (31yo) other than when they need something
HeyGuysHowWasJail@reddit
I was asked out a couple of months ago. It was the first time in my life it has happened. I'm 38.
Yes, I am still feeling good even tho I am happy in a committed relationship
lordrothermere@reddit
Pretty much tried to be as desirable as possible and let the women do their thing. This was my solution to precisely the fear of coming across as creepy or giving unwanted attention. That kicked in circa 1988/89; has never left me.
It went pretty well. No notes.
Rilkal@reddit
By women? Never.
One time we were at a cafe by the beach and the most gorgeous man i've ever seen rocked up on a bicycle and sat on the wall outside, he literally looked like the diet coke guy. Over the next 20 mins I saw about 4/5 women see him, bite their lips and go to ask for his number.
I've never been so jealous of a man before
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I’ve noticed the lip biting by women as I walk past them and do nothing, as a single man. Usually I am 20 or 15 years older than them, but as I’ve said above, I don’t look it.
Woman my own age, usually haven’t she’s very well. A 25 year old or 27 year old is what I am currently looking for, on the dating market. Old enough to have lived a big but not young enough, for me to spoil all the joys of life for them.
Born_Price6063@reddit
I’m calling bullshit, I’ve seen some ridiculously handsome men, none of them pulling girls at a rate of 5 in 20 min. I’m not seeing it sorry.
Rilkal@reddit
I shit you not, he was very pretty. Light tan, longish sun bleached hair, completely waxed and in good shape and no shirt on
I've never seen anything like it.
Tasty-Explanation503@reddit
Only chances of it happening are a A lister or a footballer, even then I would be skeptical
KebabMonster001@reddit
When younger, after a night out with friends, a girl would sometimes say “would you like to come in for a coffee?”
No! I didn’t want a coffee at that time of night.
It took years for me to understand exactly what that invitation meant.
NB: I am short an hardly the person I thought girls were interested in at that time.
…. The amount of possibilities i passed over, Purely because I thought less of myself, as a short chap….
criminalsunrise@reddit
In my 50ish years on this planet, I don’t believe I’ve ever been approached by either men or women. I’m happily married now, but I don’t recall it ever happening.
samfitnessthrowaway@reddit
Interestingly I'm approached quite a lot by straight women in gay clubs, I'm straight but none of my friends are so on the once or twice a year occasion I go out past 9pm (I'm 40 now) it's usually to gay bars. I guess either the location gives less threatening vibes or some people just want to flirt without the 'danger' that it'll go further.
In the street? Never by women, but as a relatively buff guy (with an average face) I get hit on a fair amount by men.
In both cases they blatantly ignore the ring.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I asked my cousin, who I hadn’t seen for years at my grans funeral, where she went out, she said “ the gay village”. She was training to be a teacher and wore goth make up and crazy high boots, I doubt she could go to school and teach 5 year olds, looking that but it is, what it is.
She said that she went to the gay village, as she felt a lot more safer, as she wasn’t being hit on every 2 minutes. Which is fair enough.
Sexy-Koala-Glasgow@reddit
They don’t ignore the ring! The ring is like a red flag to a bull!
Scasne@reddit
Does someone wanting a picture cos she thought I looked like netflix's Jeffrey Dahmer?
tinned_peaches@reddit
Yeah he’s hot
Scasne@reddit
Dunno i kinda find it a bit disturbing because of the guy he's portraying.
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
3 times by men , twice by ladies
Pink_Flash@reddit
Well look at you, everyone wants a piece. 😂
ScottyDug@reddit
Timescale was 44 years
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
Over 19 years. My girlfriend however several times a week but she’s a stunner and in her 20s
SnooHesitations6727@reddit
She’s in her twenties but hit you 20 years ago
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
Im 37 she’s 25 we met 3.5 years ago
nihility24@reddit
Bless you bro, this gives me hope 🥲(I’m 37)
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
Of course there is you will meet someone great - you just need to be patient and go about it the right way
nihility24@reddit
Thank you Tall_Stick5608
xxxxxxxxxooxxxxxxxxx@reddit
Back of the net
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
I’ve done well, she’s awesome
IntravenusDiMilo_Tap@reddit
Sleeping with girls half your age is great as long as you are over the age of 32, before that, people are rude about you.
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
In this case although she was 22 when I first met her, she was very independent and was far more mature in many regards even compared to myself.
IntravenusDiMilo_Tap@reddit
I'm only joking, it's a result!!! The joke being that society's attitude to us chaps sleeping with girls half our age changes dramatically once you get to the age of 32!!!
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
When older women date younger men in their 20s they are cougars, when men do it, they are on the Epstein list.
It’s my own joke, before anyone try’s to cancel a man that doesn’t have a picture of me on the internet, in the last 10 years. You’ll have a job doing that one.
I’d love to do real life comedy and I’d be pushing the boundaries of what socially acceptable but that’s good comedy. If you break through and make people money, nobody cares and nor do they cancel you.
DaddyRAS@reddit
So less than a lifetime!
UuusernameWith4Us@reddit
Stop showing off
Tall_Stick5608@reddit
Haha, that’s not many
mrsniffmagooch@reddit
If I think back over the years, I’ve probably been hit on more by men than women!
Extension_Ad4492@reddit
Well with a name like that…
phatboi23@reddit
make that a 4th man,
hello sailor! :P
LamhDhearg@reddit
How are you defining approached? In a nightclub where a group of girls dances near you and give you the eyes? Yes loads but it would have been a strange place to be eating a meal deal.
Having someone come up and chat in a bar on a night out? A few times but an order of magnitude lower than the previous example, again no meal deal.
While actually eating a meal deal? Never but then I wouldn't have approached someone just sitting having their lunch either, so I think that might be part of the issue.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I once chatted to and got the number of a woman eating an apple, in an indie bar. She unfortunately had the same name as my mother but she was super cool.
“ she was not like, anybody else. Her own options and not modelled by the outside world”
your_mum_95@reddit
"yes loads but it would have been a strange place to be eating a meal deal" was so unexpected i exhaled a little too hard through my nose and my coworker asked if im okay.
El_Bastardo_Grande@reddit
Probably not romantically, but other random men will try to have a conversation with me in the gym or at the pub, then after a bit of small talk they might just use it as an opportunity to psychologically and emotionally bare themselves, which is way worse.
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
I’ve had this problem a lot in my life, people will open up to me, sober or drunk. Sometimes it’s best to say “ that’s way too much information for me”, in a stern but fair way”
I’ve learnt this lesson the hard way and used to solve everyone else’s problems, before my own. I no longer do that and I am lot happier.
Emergency-Ad-5379@reddit
I know it's not your responsibility but they sound lonely
Bastrato@reddit
Quite a lot when I was young as I was a good looking lad, fashionable and I have a bit of presence.
bighairynipples79@reddit
I look like someone put some hair on a potato so it's a 'no' from me
Forbidden_Cheese1@reddit
Never. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed it happen to somebody else either for that matter.
IntrepidMaybe8579@reddit
Handful of times but 90% of the time its the well known infamous dirty girls or someones random obese wife asking for my number at a traffic stop while im working on tarmac 😂 lets just say whoever’s approached me is certainly not new at it and is pretty much as wide open and publicly available as the local library… and they even let homeless in too
NewHorror357@reddit
It’s never happened. 42 years old.
Skinnybet@reddit
I once had to tell my sister that the nice guy who had just been talking to her was actually interested. She had no idea. So it’s not just guys.
Asuperniceguy2@reddit
I've never been approached before, I'm 32 if that matters and am definitely a weird looking guy.
behemuffin@reddit
I got heavily hit on in my local pub just last night. That said, it's the first time that's ever happened to me, or at least happened blatantly enough for me to notice!
I was chatting to an old boy I know while waiting to be served, a woman on a barstool the other side of him leaned over and said "I love your look, what's your name?" We exchanged first names, she reached out for a handshake and then pulled me in for a kiss. I recoiled a bit and she asked "can I kiss your cheek?" At that point I was so taken aback that I let her, but then made a point of picking up the conversation with Old Boy rather than talk to her.
On one level I was flattered, but I also wish I'd said no to the cheek kiss, because I felt a bit railroaded into it. I wish I'd been quicker to enforce a boundary.
For context, I'm not single, my (female) partner was there and, outside of my relationship with her (love of my life) I'm generally more attracted to men anyway. Younger me might have been over the moon to be hit on so blatantly, but I feel ambivalent at best about this. She wasn't unattractive and I have no doubt a night of sweaty monkey sex was on the cards for the right taker, but... I don't know, I guess I have more self respect than I credit myself with 😂
behemuffin@reddit
Also, just to note, she wasn't noticeably hammered. I can only assume she was just out on a mission to get some.
WasThatInappropriate@reddit
Varies wildly by night (and how recently I've had a haircut, and how well fitting my shirt is) - Ive had spells where several nights in a row I'm invisible, I've had nights where 5 have approached me in one night. I'd say the most common is 1 per night out.
Emotional_Butterf1y@reddit
No so often now I’m in my 70s, bald head bad beer belly. If I had a 40 or 30 year old I wouldn’t say no, as long as it didn’t have a willy
Last-University-4779@reddit
Beautiful girl at one of our training days asked for my number on the way back, we go on our first date tomorrow. Was in long term relationship previously so new to all this.
banananey@reddit
More than I probably realise.
Lister_RD_169@reddit
Maybe about a dozen times in my entire twenties.
And none in 30s.
Ordinary_Drummer_956@reddit
Occasionally but I'm married
bobaboo42@reddit
About 10-15 times a year, but I don't go places such as bars very often where it's more likely.
I'm age 42, senior director in a large corp and clearly a gym bunny for reference. In fact I've had some very persistent women in the last 2 years alas I'm happily married (but flattered).
lolploxzomg@reddit
Never happened to me, lol.
xcixjames@reddit
Never. But then i've approached women and gotten really eager responses. The onus is on men to make the first move generally speaking
matt_wales86@reddit
Shouldn't be though
xcixjames@reddit
Eh i dont mind it so much. I've taken to giving my number to them quietly and letting them decide. Balls in their court then with no pressure
LopsidedReflection44@reddit
I get approached by women more than men, I have a husband 😂
ATSOAS87@reddit
A lot more than I realise according to my girlfriend.
BigJDizzleMaNizzles@reddit
Lol, literally never.
ozplissken@reddit
Depends on my weight which fluctuates. If I lose a bit of weight I get much more female attention and if I put some on it goes a bit quiet. Now this could also be all psychological in that I'm more confident when I lose weight and feel good.
Zealousideal-Yam3169@reddit
In highschool there was couple of girls that asked me out.
Once I was playing world of warcraft in my room and one of my brothers friends came trying to chat to me but I was doing Gnomergan. I only realised she was flirting with me about 3 years later.
One time in a club.
That's about it. I'm 36 now.
Plenty_Suspect_3446@reddit
Rarely and when it happens I'm usually unaware and it takes a friend to point it out to me.
alfa_omega@reddit
Literally never.
BenchClamp@reddit
When I was in my 20s / early 30s - all the time. I was good looking (had done modelling) and would often get hit on when out - often by other guy’s girlfriends. Got married at 32 and after that rarely - as I’m often with my wife and I don’t hide the fact I’m happily married and have kids.
BenchClamp@reddit
Also got grabbed, groped, ass-pinched a lot. Generally was ok as I wasn’t physically threatened. But in hindsight some of it was straight out SA.
No_Charge_8845@reddit
Why would women approach men? We live in a patriarchy and men have positioned themselves as the ones who 'choose' the opposite sex. As much as men whine about it, our society evolved so that men are the ones who make the first move because it benefitted you. Women are the ones who are 'picked' by men. Men are the ones who propose also. Seeing a woman approach a man or propose a man would be 'weird', because subconsciously society hasn't moved on from the era where women are property - just decoration for your lives.
Ergo, even in the modern era it would make no sense to approach you. If we approached you how you'd like us to, then you'd use us even more. Perhaps not you personally, although anyone whining about being viewed as a creep is automatically sus, but men as a whole. You'd see that woman as easy. There is a huge disincentive to approach men and make the first move and it's all your own fault. And don't go arguing that this wouldn't be the case - go on any subreddit for women and you'll see women discussing their real experiences of trying that.
And no woman thinks you're creepy just for approaching her. We find men creepy because the only ones who are confident enough to approach are womanisers who just want casual sex. We find being approached to be creepy because the men who do it are objectively creeps.
Feminism is literally just about cutting through the bullshit. It is so tiring having to type out what should be common sense.
Le-mal-aim3@reddit
34M here, not originally from the UK (South European). I get approached a fair bit especially at pubs or nights out. My housemate who often comes out with me will always tell our friends "I don't know how he does it". Nor do I, I'm just sitting really.
Careful_Adeptness799@reddit
About 4 times in my life 🤦♂️
Hollywood-is-DOA@reddit
As a man, I get women trying to be close to me and smiling at me. It’s strange when I get 60 year olds doing it, as I look young but I ain’t.
It’s a blessing that I look so young. Woman rarely start the conversation first but I am lucky in not being shy, at all. I gladly start a conversation about anything, if I want to speak.
Now looks only get you so far, as a man or a woman. I’ve walked away from random conversations with stunningly beautiful women( I don’t care what trolls on here, do or don’t say, as I am a grown man, so it’s not the school playground), as they had nothing interesting to say.
So i will openly approach a woman but I don’t do it, to get a number or a date. I go into any conversation, with zero expectations.
Uk-guys2@reddit
I could not tell you, I have zero aware ness for that stuff lmao.
NorthernNiceGuy@reddit
I’m 42 and I’ve only ever been approached once in my life and that was back when I was about 21 and in a nightclub. Was really stupid as we had a great conversation, seemed to get on really well and then she told me she went to a uni about 25 miles away… and for some reason, I had a mental block and totally forgot that I could drive! And that was that.
Glovesonmyfeet55@reddit
Semi regularly for eye contact, but rarely go out due to leg pain. It happened today at Westfield a lady walking her little dog approached, I think because I’ve reached 50 years and I still have all my hair and no double chin? I dunno, I never ask for a number though just a nice chat
Available-Spray2576@reddit
I've been arrested by a policewoman if that counts.
Altruistic_Turn_7214@reddit
I’m a male model so it’s part of the job, I’ve never had anyone harass me as such, usually I assume it’s done for fun or as a jokey thing
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
I'll let you know if it ever happens.
jc456_@reddit
Was catcalled by two women in a car coming from the opposite direction, while I was walking.
The traffic suddenly came almost to a stand still, so as I walked by it felt pretty awkward.
julemeister@reddit
Loads in the Philippines, all want a husband.
John-en-dash@reddit
I genuingly cant tell whether its friendship or hitting on me. Huge hugs, inviting me for dinner, letting me stay over (separate rooms), kisses xx after texting? I always thought it was hitting on me but I seem perhaps to misinterpreted. All different women. Oh recently got chatting in a supermarket. Kept bumping into each other and enjoying it. But I didnt pursue it - too chicken.
Deep_Banana_6521@reddit
I get approached quite often, usually by people I don't want to. Sometimes people I enjoy speaking to.
A dude in his late 50s stopped me in the supermarket to tell me he liked my T-shirt (it was a Mastodon T-shirt).
nunsreversereverse@reddit
The only times-
Once after first starting to go clubbing, nice girl just starts grinding against and kissing me, then went out a few times after. So I thought this is great and would happen every time I went clubbing, which it obviously didn't..
I did have a very drunk and toothless friend who was bothering a girl and she latched onto me to escape him. I got chucked out of the club that night by the bouncer too (by mistake). Went out a few times after too.
Another was a friend's sister, invited me out, she was all over me throughout the night, so thinking i'm definitely in here. Then in taxi queue, she disappears for a few minutes. Next thing I hear a commotion and see her getting put in a police van for fighting with someone and the night is over 🙃
Luna-Lux-@reddit
Literally never
Deep_Banana_6521@reddit
at 37, I have been approached 0 times. At least none I was aware of.
Fast-Drummer5757@reddit
Back in the day nearly every time I went clubbing, these days not so much.
FeDUpGraduate87@reddit
I'm 38 and never as an adult has a woman shown the least bit interest in me.
Aggressive-Dealer-21@reddit
Once, I married her 😂
Confident_Many5900@reddit
When i was younger often. In my 40s I become aware that women are interested but they never approach. The best I've got is very direct queues I miraculously and stressfully picked up. But actual requests, no.
Subcat001@reddit
What do you mean by approached?
When I used to frequent pubs and clubs regularly I'd encounter drunk women, usually much older, that would grope you as you walked past. Occasionally they would chat you up and try and entice you back to theirs. Once I was grabbed and pulled on to the dance floor by a woman and then snogged by a woman. Afterwards I did drop the " do you come here often" line.
There are over instances in the work place or via a hobby where I've been approached. But these weren't complete strangers.
Ultimate_os@reddit
Yes, a couple of times in bars and pubs. I found it so hilarious that anyone would find me even slightly attractive I had to leave. 😅
plumsp@reddit
Woman here - do guys want to be approached?
Icy_Reply_7830@reddit
Judging by the responses, I think yes but unless you say “I really want you to fuck me”, it will go over their heads anyway
Honey-Badger@reddit
Yeah a fair few times in my late teens and 20s. Not so much since I got older and spend less time in bars and the like.
Severus_1987@reddit
I think once directly and didn’t even realise. A lady asked if she could sit with me at my table when I was alone and I politely offered her the whole table and left…
A few other times I was flirted with rather than a direct approach and didn’t notice until later.
Luckily i am married though - I made the approach to my eventual wife
Einhert@reddit
I was in the gym squatting 160kg for reps and my current girlfriend approached asking how much I was doing.
We had instant chemistry and hit it off and she asked for my number.
EatingCoooolo@reddit
An old lady in Granada just said “si, por favor” as she walked past me and my wife can’t stop laughing.
Does that count?
Commercial-Lab-4754@reddit
I worked as a manager for a restaurant for 10 years. I was asked once for my number, I said sorry I’m married but I was so excited. I went to the kitchen and rang my wife and told her she said, "Well done."
JustNoGuy_@reddit
In my 36 years of life, never. I don't expect that to change in the next 36 years.
Luckystar60@reddit
Never, thankfully but then I don't exactly leave that often
rhyithan@reddit
Almost never. And I generally assume women dont want to be bothered when out with their mates. Fun state of affairs
Saltysockies@reddit
In my youth all the time. I don't think it was because I was handsome but due to having big curly hair.
Even when I was being hit on I rarely noticed.
One girl got so annoyed she basically pinned me against a wall for a snog
TomasNavarro@reddit
Don't think I ever have, unless it counts at school where some girls would dare each other to ask me out
blazecranium@reddit
I don’t recall ever being approached. If I have been, it’s been too subtle for me to notice.
Historical_Panda9701@reddit
I had someone come up to me on the tube once and say "I don't normally do this but can I have your number". I told her I was very flattered but that I was in a relationship and then she scurried off the train. Not sure if it was her stop or not.
Had I been single I would have said "sure" and seen where it went.
I can't think of another time I've been explicitly approached now I think about it.
wheres_my_ballot@reddit
Once, in a bar. She came up to ask me a question, then introduced herself. We were having a nice conversation, when my single friends noticed and basically swarmed her, killing the vibe. Still pisses me off to this day.
Traditional-Treat613@reddit
When I was in my 20s and early 30s quite a lot, mainly in bars and clubs. As I've grown older girls will try to make obvious attempts to show that they are interested rather than approaching me. Obviously I am useless at reading signals like most men so only realise after the fact.
A few of my favourites... Last night of uni the girl I really fancied invited herself back to mine. I told her no as I needed to be up early in the morning (it was 3am). Drinking with a group of girls, mate was buying champagne. Told one she'd have to pay towards it. She asked how much. I said 10p. She said "how about if I just get off with you instead". I replied with, "but that is only worth 7p". My brother said he had his head in his hands. She was hot.
To be honest I think approaching is more rare these days as people go out less.
Worldly_Client_7614@reddit
By gay men, it happened so often it became a drinking game rule amongst me and my friends
By women, only twice. One ended in a ten year relationship, the other i said no due to poor mental health on my end and i didn't want to waste her time
LukeLikesReddit@reddit
I am incredibly introverted however due to my height and looks I seem to get comments a lot of time as opposed to my peers which have commented on it despite them being vastly more outgoing than I. I also look a lot younger than I actually am. I joke with my wife that whilst I may have won the genetic lottery I am absolutely fucking useless with it lol.
Forgetful8nine@reddit
I think a couple of times as a teenager. But I was completely oblivious and didn't realise until I was talking to someone about how I was pretty sure nobody had ever had a crush on me, but that I had received a few compliments.
Anyway...after sharing more details, I was called an idiot because they were being ridiculously obvious about it.
The one who called me out on it realised how stupidly blind I can be and, well, she made it so obvious that even I couldn't miss it. That was 10 years ago (July 9th). We're married now (6 years).
GeorgeN95X1@reddit
Once in my life lol
lambdaburst@reddit
Twice and I'm 40. And I think that's above average.
Federal-Mortgage7490@reddit
Had an American girl once say to me in a bar " So, wanna get jiggy with it tonight?" I didn't know what that meant and asked her what it means🤣 "oh it was just a joke" she laughed awkwardly. What a dickhead! Every time I think of that I shake my head in disgust.
ZebraSandwich4Lyf@reddit
As far as I'm aware, never. Although tbh even if it has happened I wouldn't realise it because I have the flirting sense of a loaf of bread.
JRCSalter@reddit
Not once in my 41 years on this earth.
cubicle_door@reddit
I'm newly single and just getting out in the world for the first time in a long time and it's been frequent enough luckily. OK I'm blessed with being 6ft5 which I'm sure helps but what I've been doing is having a few beer in the house, decide to get out of the house to try break monotony and escape spiral of depression, go in to one of the bars in town I know will have live music on. I love a bit of live music in pretty much every form so I go out with no expectations other than to see the music and everything else is a bonus.
I position myself close to the band just off to the side of the dance floor. In the 5 weeks I've been doing this (mostly once a week a couple twice a week) I've been approach by four different women. They've opened the interaction so I didn't feel creepy because literally I'm there enjoying the music but if I catch their eye I won't complain! Three of those I sealed the deal to various degrees one wasn't really my type but had a bit of a laugh and let her down gently.
I dont expect it will always be like this but its been great confidence boost and gave me more optimism for the future after being in a long relationship during which I felt completely unwanted.
Esexboy101101@reddit
When I was about 18/19 I was sitting in a Local bar in Hackney one afternoon having a pint with a Mate (this was when 3pm closing was a thing).
At around Closing Time a very Old Woman (about 60, but to me at that time ancient!) approached me and said are you coming home with me or do you have to go home to Mummy.
I said I've gotta go home to Mummy my dinner will be ready soon!
No wonder I turned Gay!
Joober81@reddit
Never
BrokenAlfaRomeo@reddit
Once that I'm aware of about 15 years ago at a field party, she was very drunk so I didn't really engage. We're married now.
watermelonicec@reddit
I’ve been meaning to ask this for sometime- do men like being approached? I’m in my mid-20s, brown, bit anxious. But wouldn’t mind asking men out, except I don’t know how. Just walk up to them in a pub and say they look nice?
Kooky-Surround-3350@reddit
I think you should have learnt two things from this thread.
Yes. Yes they do. They really really appreciate it on so many levels.
They will, however, be utterly oblivious to it until several years later when one night at 3am they awaken bolt upright with the realisation of what they fumbled a decade previous.
So, my advice, if you do, be gentle, we scare easily, but also be really really clear in your intentions. Like spell it out like you're explaining something to a dog. And still don't be too surprised/disappointed if we still dont get it.
Keeeeeech@reddit
It's wise to be wary of women making it clear they're available to you, tbh.
Tall_Opportunity_521@reddit
I used to get approached all the time by women, but then I turned 18 and they stopped...
Seriously, older women are dirty as fuck at touching young boys. Even my own fucking aunt had some "oh if I was a few years younger...." moments. I was 13, she was 45...
Odd-Paint3883@reddit
1992
South_Leek_5730@reddit
I've had phases, so in my younger days up to about 25 a lot but as you are both young that was the thing back then. Then up to mid to late 30s nothing. Now it's quite often again but lessons from the past were learnt. It only becomes an issue when it becomes persistent and they can't take the hint. I don't go out very often so it's not a problem. I wouldn't mind but I'm not anything special just easy going and approachable I guess.
SpamJavelin00@reddit
Yes that’s true - saying hello to anyone now would get you put onto an offenders register !!
EvziJnr@reddit
Genuinely everytime i go out i get attention. Last weekend was a engaged woman. I kept saying she was married and she kept replying technically im not… Also had an older lady saying she wishes she was 20 years younger.
You_moron04@reddit
Never. Bisexual man in his 20s. Never been approached by either gender. Been out plenty.
Nada. At this point I’ve decided my career is at least going to be consistent and will actually give me attention lol
OkPosition20@reddit
Fairly often, not sure why, maybe I look approachable
Junglist08@reddit
32 years old and have never, ever been approached by a female in my life.
TheRobotPikachu@reddit
Quite a few times, and judging by this post probably a bit more than average. Usually it's pretty fine, they show interest but I don't reciprocate because I'm less so. In the gay scene so it's mostly men with some women. Been asked for my Instagram and Snapchat, one guy even gave me his number on a piece of paper.
Then again, there are also the creeps that don't back off until I make a fuss, but fortunately they're less common (though uncomfortably still too many).
caldawggy13@reddit
I used to manage a late night bar when I was 23-26, lots of industry and people in their 20s. It's true, you are instantly more attractive behind a bar and in charge of alcohol. Fun years!
ealwhale@reddit
Anyone have the link to the ladies thread?
dweedman@reddit
By beggars on the street asking for money? Daily
Women? Never
Hara-Kiri@reddit
Reasonably frequently when I used to go out a lot. Not now I rarely go out and am in bed by 11 when I do.
12-7_Apocalypse@reddit
What a coincidence, I was approached just this morning in the gym. She wanted to know how many sets I had left so she could do her routine. I think it still counts.
HiddenSynner@reddit
Almost ever, when it does happen I always think I am being set up in some way.
bindmedown2@reddit
Not very often but it happens every now and then at music events. It's a shame my brain just isn't wired to recognize the signals 😔 ....3 weeks later... 'Ohhhhhh! '. 🤣🤣
TradingNoob05@reddit
Never, not even once 😂
PurrPaul@reddit
Not even once. :(
Both-Silver-8783@reddit
Went into a kitchen in a friend’s house, a woman I’d never seen before was frying sausages on the hob. She took the frying pan off the heat and told me “My body is my own” then grabbed me by the bollocks. When all I wanted was a beer from the fridge.
Responsible_Drive380@reddit
Never! Not once in my whole life - I'm 46. But I'm no oil painting 🙂 Met my wife at uni at some discussion forum, we just got chatting in the group and she said we should meet for coffee sometime. For a split second I wondered if that was a euphemism. It wasn't!
callumh6@reddit
Last time I was approached (I think) was about a year ago. I was in Australia for work, and a group of us were at a bar in Sydney. Whilst waiting at a bar, a woman started chatting to me. Looking back, I feel like she was throwing feelers out there to see if I would respond. But even if I had realised, my wife was also at the bar, so wouldn't have mattered.
Honestly, since being married, I've not been in a ton of situations where I would have been approached anyway.
Scarred_fish@reddit
Pretty regularly. It's something that has definitely increased over the last 10-15 years.
And before anyone says anything, I'm an overweight middle aged man with a beard.
Unemployable-Sunfish@reddit
Never.
Also fuck Tesco.
3rdLion@reddit
I’m tall, in shape and good looking so I’m approached quite often in social settings. Most women are subtle but some can be very direct. I also notice I get stared at a lot, with a lot of double or triple takes and it’s something I’ve recognised more as I’ve got older (I’m 30). I’ve had a lot sex and relationships with objectively beautiful women. Very rarely have I initiated these interactions though because I’m actually quite shy and surprisingly unconfident unless I’m familiar with the person or setting.
I realise I’m very lucky and it’s not the reality of most men. It does have its disadvantages too, though. I also realise how wanky this was to type out.
Mediocreanaold@reddit
I don't think it is. As you say, you've only started learning the rule book as you got older. I was the same. And it's largely because you feel like an absolute melt answering these questions, so people don't do it.
My advice to guys who know they're notably good looking (and if you are, you won't have to ask how you know) - not just with women, but in general - is different to everyone else. You need to know the pitfalls and how to navigate them, as well as how to maximise the advantages they give you.
Enough-Ad3818@reddit
Once by a guy. We were in a gay bar, to be fair, so it wasn't a huge surprise.
Outside of that. Never. When women say they sick of being harassed, I can't really get my head around it. I've never been approached, and I have been complimented once in my whole life (and that was because they liked my Vans). I'm 43, and this discussion has really made me realise that I must be pretty invisible.
strawbebbymilkshake@reddit
You can’t get your head around why regular unwanted advances from strangers while you’re trying to live your life, and the threat of him being a nutter (who is already likely stronger than you) when you say no is bad? What’s difficult to get your head around?
I think men who are jealous of women in this context think the equivalent for them is supermodels approaching them. Women aren’t being harassed by well-groomed gentlemen
Enough-Ad3818@reddit
No, sorry, I probably didn't explain it well.
I meant I can't get my head around that even being a thing. People coming to talk to you unrequested is clearly and obviously annoying and probably scary, but I can't fathom that even happening. I can't imagine a scenario where that would happen to me, or how I would react.
It's something us men will likely never ever encounter, so it's hard for us to try and relate to women's struggles in that regard.
I would probably just assume a woman coming to talk to me, unsolicited, would be mistaken and think I was someone else!
Admirable_Editor_388@reddit
Even before I was married, I can't recall a time a woman has ever approached me.
itsableeder@reddit
When I'm out with female friends I get approached by women quite regularly, and if I'm out in the gay village or queer spaces I get approached by men regularly.
When I'm out with my partner not so much, because we're very obviously together. And if I'm out on my own I become very unapproachable because I have resting autism face, as a side effect of being autistic.
ArimuRyan@reddit
Couple times by men, not once ever by a woman
BaldPleaser@reddit
Never have I genuinely been approached. But I guess there’s always a first time.
Tu2d2d@reddit
2 or 3 times a year. It helps I work in a female dominated field, so probably more opportunity for women to see I'm safe and normal before they approach me.
A few years ago, I was walking through town and a Polish girl stopped me, I took out my ear phones and she just wanted to say how well I dressed. I was so taken back, I didn't know what to say and fumbled a thank you whilst she smiled and walked away. It made my week and I still think about her to this day.
I don't think she was hitting on me at all, she was just complimenting my outfit. It would be great if I could pass on the compliment to others - but it would come across creepy if men did it.
Crafty_Scar_4988@reddit
Depends on the country. Sometimes a fair bit
the_Athereon@reddit
Never. Not once.
MagicCoat@reddit
In the last 2 weeks at my charity shop jobive had girls compliment my outfits. Basically never before that. I dont know how to respond further than a nice thank you because I dont want to assume theyre hitting on me, theres also the fact I look quite queer (deliberately, I am, but I still like girls) and I wonder if they feel safer complimenting me because of that
CBeeft@reddit
Never
MrZer0x@reddit
Once by a now ex gf, I was in the smoking area of a nightclub and I had a blackeye at the time as I had been in a charity boxing match a few weeks prior. She said 'omg what happened to your face' I pointed at my mate who I had boxed saying he did it and she replied asking to buy me a drink.
NobDeRiro@reddit
Very rarely
mcallisterw@reddit
Never. I do have female friends who have approached men, and men who have been approached, but it's incredibly rare.
Its a shame that this is a universally accepted gender role thing, in that it's as accepted by progressives as much as it is by conservatives because I'm pretty bad at approaching women myself and if I ever want to be in a relationship it's on me to get better at it.
If anything the straight couples I know where the woman was the initiator are better suited for each other.
For generations men have had to learn how to 'play the game' even if they don't want to because it's like being in sales, you gotta put on a bit of a show and this has encouraged a culture of dishonesty among those men who lean into it and relish the fact they're good at something their 'competition' struggles with and sort of views misleading women about their personality and their intentions as a right they have in return for being expected to make the move.
Fantastic_Back3191@reddit
Last time was 1990 on the Isle of Arran when a local lass sidled up to me and said, "I'm steaming but do you fancy a snog?"
Appropriate-Divide64@reddit
Once and I thought it was a joke or prank. I'm still not sure
AnonymousTimewaster@reddit
I dont think ive ever been approached
Much-Individual970@reddit
The square root of fuck all
Old_Administration51@reddit
Fuck all^(0)
New_Line4049@reddit
Once. She approached to ask me to get out of the way so she could reach the cereal in Tescos
ThierryMercury@reddit
Every relationship I've ever had was because I was approached. My wife proposed to me.
hyper-casual@reddit
When I was single and still used Instagram I got quite a few DMs from women I knew that were a bit flirty and I did end up going on a date with a few of them off the back of it.
In person, I mainly just get approached by married older women at the gym. They'll make comments about 'how strong' I am and that I should train them sometime.
I'm bisexual, but only been approached by a guy twice in my life outside of dating apps. I don't look very 'bi' or 'gay' though so that's probably why.
Revolutionary_Pierre@reddit
Actually quite a fair bit. I exude decency and sexusl confidence. What I really am is good at recognising my childhood trauma and not making it everyone else problem with a half sense of self actualization, but no personality disorder attached. It also helps that I'm attractive and drive a nice car I suppose 🤷
RokosBallsack@reddit
I go out maybe once a month. Every other month I will have at least one woman approach me. Had one of those fake lips, fake hair girls repeatedly sexually assault me a few months ago. She kept groping m’diq despite me asking her too stop. I probably would have been game if she wasn’t so handsy and could respect basic consent.
uggyy@reddit
I'm older and single and not for a long time. I think I give off I'm in a relationship vibe or just ugly.
Pockysocks@reddit
Never.
I think maybe once in the past 5 years but I'm not sure if they were just being polite or friendly.
Far_Kaleidoscope_102@reddit
I have women compliment my hair a lot, Funnily enough yesterday a store assistant was going out of her way to be seen by me whilst I was contracted to carry out works in store, she was attractive but It was actually pretty cringe.
Different store but same company, another female worker approached me to tell me a colleague thought I have a lovely bum.
It doesn’t bother me at all but the double standards are mental, if I told said woman my colleague thought she had a nice bum I would have lost the contract and my job and probably a visit from the police for sexual harassment.
Vivid_Way_1125@reddit
When I was single, it was fairly often (more than once per month). Women do it differently to men though. Women will navigate their way into you or otherwise make it really easy and obvious for you to say hello, they will then make conversation really easy and enjoyable.
Calm-Homework3161@reddit
Once that I noticed (we're married now).
About a dozen times that, when it was too late, I thought "Hang on - was she..... Dammit!"
pooflaps50@reddit
I’m shy so outside of drunken nightclub situations I never approached women.
But when I was younger and relatively attractive it happened a handful of times. And if they were attractive and I took interest in them they always turned out to be batshit crazy.
Rule of thumb I’ve come to work by if a gorgeous young woman comes onto you out of nowhere proceed very carefully.
Dry-Clock-8934@reddit
When I was single more or less never, now I’m married a multiple times a year. Its a mystery to me
MerchantofDoom@reddit
I was always top of the plops (the worst) at reading the room.
All I will say is that it is only creepy if the intention come across as creepy. Take it as a compliment and be nice overall is the message. It can take a huge amount of effort to speak to someone, but they might be the best person you have never met. Most people are just nice, and it costs nothing to be nice back!
My mate spent weeks debating whether or not to speak to a beautiful girl on the Boots makeup counter. He eventually did, and they have been married over 20 years with 2 kids! She hadn’t even noticed him before that!
Never_trust_dolphins@reddit
Only when I look and smell terrible, last time I hadn't slept in three days and got sent home for being generally useless in that state.
A woman followed me for a bit then stopped me and asked for my Facebook, got a message that night but I never got back to her.
Happens maybe once every five years or so.
barnshaw292@reddit
I got approached in a club not so long ago, got my hopes up, sadly it was to ask me if I was selling any drugs,
BigIgg98@reddit
Yes by two people at once actually, though they both had knives and wanted me to go down an alley with them.
DaToasta@reddit
Depends how much i get out of the house and in the zone at a party. Its rare someone will be direct enough for me to notice though as im very social and will be trying to talk to everyone. Noticint signals usually turns me to stressi spaghetti
PennyBunPudding@reddit
In the last ten years, I think once. With another one being indirect.
I mostly got hit on between 18-20 a lot with 50+ women. In my experience at least it isn't just men that target younger people
Bantabury97@reddit
Never unless I'm in the way or it's a student at work asking for help or a friend.
_Rookwood_@reddit
I have had plenty of women strike up conversation in bars with me. Absolutely nothing in the realm of daylight and sobriety. I think beer goggles on the ladies tips me into a slightly more attractive category and with the setting they are more outgoing. And often I'm a few beers in so appear far more relaxed and confident than I usually am. I'm not particularly good looking and all these times happened in the darkest bars in my city 😅
ThisIsWhatLifeIs@reddit
From my mid 20s until early 30s, quite a lot.
Now that I basically work from home and pop in to Lidl with oversized trampy joggers and jumper whilst holding a screaming kid or two, none lmao
According-Can-729@reddit
1 time, I now have a fiancée and a second baby on the way.
AwkwardTie9427@reddit
Never experienced it in public.. but when I visited my female customers homes I sometimes got the impression I was getting hit on, with the occasional touch and flirty behaviour. I was really close to it once with one married woman. Had no idea at the time, but it became obvious when they cancelled me after a few years of loyalty. It happened after a very close face to face long drawn out conversation, you could see in her eyes she wanted me. Looking back, it tempts me to take myself back in time and redo it all over. But why risk it? I think women are afraid to flirt with men because they generally don't want to be rushed into anything intimate so soon. Hormones can play like crazy in women's brains, so they might think "damn, he looks good", then snap out of it not long after. So it may be just as well we do react politely without compromise, because people change.. and if they do change, you don't want to be charged for anything you'd never do.
Forward_Bad_1353@reddit
Never in my life.
chadgalaxy@reddit
When I was younger and in a lot better shape and better looking than I am now, I used to get approached occasionally by women. Fumbled it almost every time of course, but it did happen.
No I'm older, bit out of shape, hairline receding etc it happens once every couple of years but nowhere near as regularly. Weirdly I do still get approached by men if I go to LGBT spots, had 4 different guys approach me in a club before xmas. Don't know why I still seem to be appealing to guys but not women.
middleagedfatbloke@reddit
Nope, I've filed that away under not happening.
Intrepidmajosdfh@reddit
Without alcohol, a complete cold approach, and directly (e.g. asking for number / social media / making a direct comment about my appearance), probably 5-10x per year. I work from home 4x per week and I'm not always out during the weekend.
Indirectly? A fair bit more. For example, the last woman I dated apologised to me at the gym for taking clips off a bar prior to me using it. That was her way of starting a conversation.
In the USA the number skyrockets - I have no idea how lads over there are struggling with women.
With alcohol? Hundreds. Sometimes to absurd levels.
What I would say to most guys, is that if you're notably above average looking and you think there's a vibe, then there probably is.
JamarcusFoReal@reddit
Once. And I married her. God I was desperate.
WiggyDiggyPooPoo@reddit
Once a girl came upto me outside a club, she said she saw me inside and wanted to talk. Then she said "Are you with anyone?"
"Yeah my mates are over there" I said lol
Luckily she saw through my stupidity and we went out for a couple months, stayed friends for a while after that.
HighlandMedicoo@reddit
Almost Never so Id be suspicious if somebody did approach
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
I can say from personal experience that most men are not out there "staring at their meal deals in silence".
Agreeable_Archer_210@reddit
I suffered from really low esteem and would basically never think anyone was hitting on me ever, or realise ages after the event. I was also mortified of the idea of being a pain -misreading something as a come-on and being shot down and feeling like a massive fucking creep. People would literally have to tell me and then I still normally wouldn't believe them. One girl got several of her friends to very obviously sound me out and I just thought "Well they can't mean she likes me, she is miles out of my league". She had to basically throw herself at me to get me to realise. We ended up going out for 7 years.
I'm old and married now so not an issue any more.
I was friends with a guy who was drop-dead gorgeous. 6' 4", dark hair, sky-blue eyes. Semi-professional athlete and model, and really personable - chatty and interested in everyone. It was quite something to be around him to see women hit on him all the time as it is not something you see that often that way around. Tragically for someone who seemed to have it all, he had severe mental health issues and ended up in an extremely toxic relationship that eventually drove him to take his own life.
poliver1988@reddit
twice
burntso@reddit
Never been approached
CraigL8@reddit
Never. My wife thinks I beat women off with a stick.
TantrumZentrum@reddit
I get lots of compliments by women, but almost never get approached. I think there's a difference and as I'm married to a woman, hang out with women, and generally don't appear interested, women assume that I'm gay because I don't wear a ring. Fuck knows...
PartisanPlaymaker@reddit
Never. Not as an adult. Once when some girl was drunk asking for a threesome.
GreaseMonkey3008@reddit
Never. At least I don't think so. I usually don't pick up on hints and assume they're just being friendly.
TheRimz@reddit
I turned 40 recently. Have never been approached
Mundane_Tap7037@reddit
When I'm working in security almost a handful of times a night. Outside of that in my personal life maybe 3 or 4 times in the past 15 years.
nogeologyhere@reddit
Literally never happened.
Additional-Lion6969@reddit
It could happen daily for all I know Im that unaware, my wife pretty much flashed me to get my attention, she'd apparently been dropping hints for weeks & I'd failed to notice
Avionykx@reddit
It happened once at work when I was about 19. In the past 21 years? never.
snavej1@reddit
Can't even have a meal deal. Diabetes.
nightwing1979@reddit
I've been approached by women twice and a guy once.
The women seemed really lovely, and took me telling them that I was flattered but gay quite well.
The man was in a bar in NY and I thought it was a random compliment so just said thank you, you're very handsome too and went back to my Martini with the husband just staring at me like I'd thrown out a lottery ticket and still didn't realise til the next day
RegretEasy8846@reddit
I’ve had some creepy encounters for sure, one was an ophthalmologist, in the dark, well over the comfort boundaries, the fact I remember it not 20yr odd later. Another was an assessor at work who I sat next to on a bench, I was about 22-23 at the time so naive, she was a lot older and just sort of sunbathed with her head in my lap. Trying to eat my butty and not get aroused. 😂😂
Ill-Appointment6494@reddit
Probably once every three years. Which for guys, is a hell of a lot.
Sage-Freke-@reddit
I saw that thread. It’s enough to make you shudder.
In terms of being approached myself, it’s only ever been in clubs / bars a couple of times when I used to go to those places and once when I was on the street at uni (when we were also both drunk). Every other time I seem to get ignored or women don’t really want to strike up a conversation with me. Completely different if I’m with my partner though. I’m not surprised when reading the other thread. There are a lot of weirdos out there!
Engineers_on_film@reddit
Never
jamaicancarioca@reddit
Twice in the past 2 years
shanep1991@reddit
Once when I was 20 by a much older man at a gay bar, to put that into perspective, I'm 34
exigenesis@reddit
Infrequently but it has happened throughout the years. Most recently I was on the tube coming home from a concert, one of the last few as I was heading to one of the outlying stations when 5 women (mid to late 40s I'd estimate, same as me) got on having obviously been on a bit of a boozy night out.
They were very flirty and suggestive, despite me multiple times saying I was flattered but very happily married. Pretty certain that situation could have gone many different ways.
Proper-Television856@reddit
I wouldn't say it happens often but most of my partners approached me, and when I'm in a relationship, other women seem to throw themselves at me, people want what they can't have I guess.
I've also had several women make incredibly creepy advances on me, like the one girl who lied and said she knew my friend (he had no idea who she was) and then started trying to put her arm around mine.
Or the girl who insisted I was going home with her despite me telling her all night it wasn't going to happen, she waited until I was too drunk to think and then tried to drag me out of the house party back to her place.... Another girl stopped her then proceeded to force herself on me too.
There's nothing wrong with approaching people as long as you're respectful, just don't be a creep.
BigGingerTed@reddit
On the ladies thread there was a big warning about deleting contributions from men. Why isn't the same on here about deleting contributions from women? Seems a bit one sided from the mods...
epicmindwarp@reddit
There isn't one? Link.
freenEZsteve@reddit
Midwestern US but I have lived for a time when I was younger in southern California, the only time that a woman had approached me had been when I was younger and she made it clear that she expected to get paid for her time.
I am hideously ugly though and I suppose that I come off somehow as a creepy guy, I guess. It's fine, it used to be disappointing but now it's just what is.
MiserableSympathy230@reddit
So I’ll just leave humbleness by the side and say I’m a pretty good looking guy. I honestly don’t think I’m that great, but I’ve had enough experience with women to get the message.
I’ve been approached 4 times. Thrice by girls under 18 (I look young for my age, and I’m 5”4) to which they immediately got informed that I was old enough to be their dad.
And once by Louisa Lytton. I’ve told the story before, so if anyone wants to hear it, I’ll tell it.
ADM_ShadowStalker@reddit
Literally once by a drunk woman at a nightclub I worked at briefly some 17 years ago.
Suspicious_Hotel_908@reddit
Women in nightclubs would remove my glasses from my face and put them on their face and start dancing. No. Don't ever do that.
bobby_szw@reddit
Never, not once in 43 year life
cypowolf@reddit
Yes sort of...i play guitar so I get a lot of interest when I play gigs or network but im also introverted and the first guy to leave the venue after a show. I guess that adds a mystery factor to it. That is what ive been told at least.
I've had the odd smile of attraction a few times but im not a mind reader and i don't want to come off as a creep either...so that's as far as that goes.
But approached in the sense that a woman comes up to me and admits her attractions/asks me out/drops subtle hints and expects me to pick it up?....nope. its all just sort of happened through general interactions and the guitar wow factor...although that seems to lose its power the older I get.
horridbloke@reddit
Last time was nearly a year ago in a bar. The lady had a tongue piercing and told me she'd just got out of prison for killing someone. It didn't go.anywhere.
W51976@reddit
When I was single, almost never lol.
DrSalvador1996@reddit
When I was at uni yeah, both guys and girls
TotallyFineWithIt@reddit
Was standing in a taxi queue at 3am and this girl comes up, stands next to me and says, 'So, where am I staying tonight?'. She stayed at mine.
siliconsandwich@reddit
The only time I ever know I’m being approached is when other women point it out to me afterwards.
Conscious_Gur7659@reddit
Out and about I get alot of attention from drunk girls. But sober seem more shy.
Working in schools (I'm not a teacher myself) almost every day I will get flirting and comments from female teachers. Have had some crazy encounters at end of year parties.
Spent some time in the US and on every night out I was HARASSED by women. Lewd jokes, groping, cat calls. No joke, even physically fighting over me.
It was too much, I definitely prefer English women's approach.
Cherrytree374@reddit
I am now mid 40s, a little bit chunkier and normally accompanied by my wife and two surly teenage daughters... So not often at all these days.
Used to be fairly often when I was younger (my wife approached me). I was short, average looking (still a little bit chunky, but less so than today) but I was relaxed, friendly and made girls laugh, which seemed to work.
I definitely wouldn't want to be dating today. I don't think my approach of striking up a conversation in pubs, and hoping that they stayed chatting and laughed at my jokes would be well received today... And I don't have the looks to be an online dating success 😉
mahler_1@reddit
Older married bi guy here too. I used to be able to tell and several good experiences then about 14 years ago I met a gay guy keen on a m/m monogamous relationship and I haven't looked back.
Zubi_Q@reddit
Honestly? Never!
When I have, it's always been a prank 😭
pihb666@reddit
Bums occasionally ask me for money.
McFizzleKicks@reddit
Since I became “just someone dad” literally never. Wasn’t infrequent when I was young and went to pubs and clubs. It’s quite depressing actually.
tannercolin@reddit
I'm in my thirties and it has never happened.
bluemoon191@reddit
One time in a pub after a Prince tribute act had finished. She was drunk and her husband gently ushered her out the door. Apparently she does it quite often.
cypowolf@reddit
Never approached but I have got that seductive smile a few times but ive never done anything about it for two reasons:
1 - I don't want to be labelled as a creep
2 - I may have misread the smile (see #1)
BasisOk4268@reddit
In my life I’ve had 8 women (yes I keep track) approach me to say some variation of ‘are you single, my friend wants your number’. I’ve been with my partner for all those past 17 years so have never acted on any advances, but it’s nice to know you’re attractive enough.
Ferocious-Muppet@reddit
Now I'm imagining you with a secret folder containing bar grapths, ratings, and pie charts sellotaped to the back of your wardrobe.
BasisOk4268@reddit
😂😂 furiously agitating my wife about how I have options
reptile199127@reddit
Never
lessthandave89@reddit
The only time people have come looking for me is when I owed money
Born_Price6063@reddit
I’m a 7, maybe 7.9 on a good day when I fix up.
i have been approached once in my entire life.
Early_Retirement_007@reddit
What's chatGPT saying?
beernon@reddit
Same. I match quite a lot on dating apps and get compliments but I’ve never been approached.
Born_Price6063@reddit
same, I get a few matches a year and I’ve been called handsome and tall most my life so I know I’m not repulsive.
women have certainly dropped clues thati probably never picked up on most of the time.
but for being approached, just once, in a nightclub, on drugs, by a girl I’d seen around a few times.
beernon@reddit
Perhaps we’re quite unapproachable
Born_Price6063@reddit
Still slaying Bitches my bruddah, the game is the game 😂🙊
Fredpillow1995@reddit
Maybe 2-3 times a week, but almost never by girls I am interested in.
You know if you open a chocolate bar and your kid walks up to you clearly because they want chocolate, girls tend to do that. In a sort of "I'm here, acknowledge me" sort of way. I find it very uncomfortable so I usually just smile and walk off.
I don't think I'm particularly attractive, I am fairly tall, but other than that I'm bang average to be honest.
Glittering_Box4815@reddit
As a man, every single day. My husband approaches me every day trying to chat me up. Still works...
Ok-Blackberry-3534@reddit
That guy has mad game.
Smeeble09@reddit
I have never once been approached, but luckily found an amazing woman who I married so no longer matters.
purpleduckduckgoose@reddit
Occasionally. I do work in retail which has massively upped the occurrences of it though. I do wish people would use their eyes and brains a little bit first however.
DeifniteProfessional@reddit
Once. We dated for a year then she sucked someone else's dick for weed (she didn't even smoke), then he bought me a pint to apologise and I never saw him again. Weird
tanderson596@reddit
This is the best story on the whole thread.
InsaneNutter@reddit
Did he look like Jay from the Inbetweeners?
DeifniteProfessional@reddit
Looked a bit more like Simon oddly enough
Careful_Mammoth_6808@reddit
A few times over the years, by a mix of men and women. (I'm a guy). Being married and wearing a ring didn't really seem to make any difference either way surprisingly,
geefochs@reddit
I'm below average height, pushing 50 and bald so I don't get a lot of hassle from the ladies.
However, last year I was at a gig and I was told by a drunk woman that I was very good looking and it freaked me out. It was truly unwelcome attention and it did provide a small and yet very brief insight to what it must be like to be a woman who is out minding her business and just wanting to have a fun night with friends.
Blazured@reddit
About once or twice a month from chicks if I go to a bar and at least once on the weekend. Maybe 3 times if I wear my fake wedding ring. And like all the time if I go to a gay bar.
8Ace8Ace@reddit
By women? Never. By homeless people, mormons and lunatics? Rather a lot.
IamCaptainHandsome@reddit
I've had women drop bombshell sized hints that they're interested then leave it for me to do the approach, but it's rare a woman asks me out directly.
However I do get checked out fairly often. Women aren't as subtle as most people would think.
GAdvance@reddit
On nights in bars out of I'm being sociable, I'd say half of them.
In all other situations never.
Usually it's not overtly about a sexual or romantic certainty but about feeling you out and a level of curiosity for you that could lead there. It's very rare someone just goes up and just wants sexual attention, generally thst approach isn't going to lead anywhere anyway, it's flattering, but it's not sexy to me at least.
OstravaBro@reddit
Im 44. It's never happened once.
Big-Cartographer-556@reddit
I'm 6'3", work out 4-5x a week, decent head of hair, have a good job in central London, dress half decent, am quite social through work and otherwise.
In my 40 years of life...never once.
Though my wife did have to physically take my phone from my hand, put her number in it to make her intentions clear 15 years ago. So my obliviousness probably has something to do with this.
Disastrous-Place-846@reddit
Never, but I life a very anti social life of driving a lorry and playing video games so that's my own downfall I guess.
TicketStraight3196@reddit
I am no model by any stretch but I don't think im a bad looking guy. Honestly I am never approached. Ever. Even thinking back over the last 10 years, its hard to think of a situation where a girl may have been hitting on me. Maybe once or twice.
markusparkus75@reddit
I can count the times on one hand. I’ve probably been approached by more men than women. The last time I was approached by a woman I was so suspicious of what she really wanted it put her off.
Last-Appointment9300@reddit
1999, was the last time I noticed, it was by someone of the same sex. Disappointing for someone that is straight
EasilyExiledDinosaur@reddit
Very very rarely. In my entire life living in the UK i think it happened perhaps 5 times. And 3/5 times I rejected them because they seemed to be way below my standards.
K-Motorbike-12@reddit
What this being approached you talk of? It's real?
FitSolution2882@reddit
On nights out, considerably more after I was in a relationship. Guessing because I wasn't trying like my single friends were. Was quite fascinating really
Joeboy@reddit
By strangers, with overt romantic / sexual intent? That'd be never I think. I've had women I didn't know be friendly towards me, and I've been flirtatiously approached by chuggers, scammers and sex workers, but I don't think I've ever been "approached" in the sense you mean.
Agitated_Ad_6774@reddit
Daily by women (usually either begging for money or trying to sell knock off shit)
ServerLost@reddit
A gorgeous woman in a pub once asked if she could kiss me as part of a scavenger hunt, did, realised the next day i probably should have followed up on that enquiry. Kicked myself about it repeatedly for the next few months.
PotentialRatio1321@reddit
Between 0 and 3 depending on how strict your definition is
Anxious_Voice_9384@reddit
If you mean just in general, a fair amount. I go out to bars/ clubs every couple of weeks and probably get approached a couple of times on a night out.
Excluding nights out though, not that often. I feel like it's quite uncommon to approach someone outside of a social setting - I wouldn't do it personally.
Only_Tip9560@reddit
When I was younger I was approached a handful of times, but this was 20 years ago.
I know I am not attractive enough to get spontaneous attention from women just like most men aren't and I am happily married so don't care.
MrPogoUK@reddit
At least five times where they’ve had definite sexual intent; two where I ended up spending the night with them and three where they resorted to explicitly stating what they were after when I failed to act on the signals (but turned them down as I was in a relationship). Could potentially be a lot more where nothing came of it due to me either fumbling the opportunity or not being interested/available, but equally everyone in the latter group may have just been making conversation!
UKdanny08765@reddit
I’ve never been approached by a woman in my life. Granted I’m not exactly the best looking guy in the word but I’m not exactly a cave troll either.
dantes_b1tch@reddit
Likewise mate. I'm more like a little garden gnome without facial hair
UKdanny08765@reddit
😂 the ladies should be queueing up for us!
dantes_b1tch@reddit
I know mate, I don't get it. We sound like a great catch 😁
UKdanny08765@reddit
Some ladies have no taste 😂
TNTiger_@reddit
Twice. Second time was my now long time partner. First time I froze, became uncomfortable, she groped me, and my lack of positive reaction made her angry. She screamed, then cried, and I got kicked from the party.
Follows-Jesus@reddit
Not in a long time and I could not be happier about it lol
Imwaymoreflythanyou@reddit
I’m not sure there’d ever be a reason for a woman to approach me ?
SuperExstatic@reddit
When I was younger and good shape fairly often , the last couple of years with a weight gain its not at all
Iamthe0c3an2@reddit
By men, but I’m also a 5’4” short Filipino so I get it.
Ironically my partner is a 5’11 white british with dyed pink hair so she gets hit on by gay people too.
smackdealer1@reddit
So my ex flatmate blatantly asked me one day if I wanted to fuck.
I've been approached a couple of times while on a night out but usually I'm too drunk by that point. (Guys like to feel safe too, one was mega creepy).
Oh an once when I was a teenager in highschool.
So not alot fam.
Minky_Dave_the_Giant@reddit
Well, did you?
smackdealer1@reddit
Obviously. I felt very flattered too.
TerryWagwan_@reddit
eroticdiscourse@reddit
Never
Maylian81@reddit
No idea if it's being approached or not. I'm quite often approached and complimented on my dress sense, and in fact last week a woman approached my wife and complimented my outfit to her, like I didn't exist.
I also often have women smile at me, which when it happens normally elicits me checking I've not got something on my face. We got a puppy last year and when I walk him on my own I find in general people approach me / puppy a lot.
Years ago when I was slimmer, I did get approached quite often. At the time I'd be confused what was happening, but afterwards it was always a nice confidence boost. With the exception of my now wife, I never tried to take advantage of being approached, probably because of low self esteem and neurodivergence.
SermoLupiAdAnglos@reddit
It happened to me twice in my entire life.
Once was a gay guy (i am not gay).
The other time was one of the bridal party members at my cousin's 3 day long wedding. One of the best things that ever happened to me.
Outside of that, I genuinely don't think anyone has ever complimented me (at least not on my appearance) in person, even women I was dating haha.
Born2Rune@reddit
Never, was too nerdy back then and too nerdy now. If I ever had someone flirt with me, I didnt realise it.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit
27M. Never. I'm invisible. Being short, ginger, skinny doesn't help.
Leader_Bee@reddit
Literally never.
TheNathanNS@reddit
Never.
Conscious-Ball8373@reddit
When I was in my late 20s, my neighbour who was nearly 90 grabbed my bum, shook it and said, "Phwoooarrrr, they don't make 'em loike tha' any more!" (She was from Bristol).
Does that count?
Doctordelayus@reddit
Never, not even an exaggeration
smushs88@reddit
I think I was last year, but genuinely unless you are holding up a sign saying you’re approaching me in that way, I doubt I’d even notice.
Curly1109@reddit
When I was younger, a few times lol (teens to early twenties). Am extremely shy so nothing came of it
Sorry_Information749@reddit
What are we calling an approach here? If we mean in a completely sober setting where they gave you a number or asked for yours think thats only happened once on 40 od years for me. But then not sure I can recall ever doing that myself.
In a bar/nightclub or festival it's a different story often people get chatting to you sometimes they're flirting and sometimes not its complicated.
Bifanarama@reddit
Only the once. Her exact words were "£2 for half an hour?" so you can imagine how long ago that was.
Somewhere around Soho, if I recall. And no, I didn't take her up on it.
alphahydra@reddit
Never. And I've never approached anyone.
I met my long-term partner in the pub, but it just started out of normal emergent conversation with people sitting nearby, not any sort of move or approach.
Lee-Malone@reddit
Same as me, alphahydra. First wife and I met as co-workers. After we divorced ten years later, I got into a LTR through a dating agency (this was before the internet). After that collapsed, I met my now wife in an internet chat room.
I couldn't approach, I'm not that confident.
D3FINNIT@reddit
Like 3 times in 43 years of life
JasonStonier@reddit
I get approached all the time, but almost exclusively by gay men. I'm not gay. But people simply assume I am.
My stock response is "hey, I'm flattered, but I'm not gay. I have an actual lady wife" and the usual response is "what? You're not gay? Are you sure? Like, really sure?"
To be fair, even my gay friends say I have gay vibes, despite being pretty deep into this 25 year het marriage, so...
sleepyprojectionist@reddit
Without the assistance of beer goggles - never.
If a woman approaches me on the street it’s because she is trying to recruit for a cult, collect money for charity, or to get me to change my energy supplier.
I must have a look of expectation about me because on several occasions when women have approached to ask for directions or compliment me on a piece of clothing they have made it very clear upfront that they were NOT flirting.
Of course it doesn’t really help that I’m now middle-aged, fat, balding, and chock-full of arthritis. I’m not exactly what one would call a catch.
Toast_505@reddit
Hard to really quantify as married and very unavailable and don’t really dwell or think about it when it does happen, but I’d say it’s around 2 or 3 times per year. Which is not loads. But always surprises me how often it happens! I think once would surprise me. Always in a social setting in a pub/bar after a few works. The smoking area is the key I think. This is where it happens more often than not
Decard_Pain@reddit
These days very rarely, 15 years ago every so often.
Probably under 50 times in my life.
WhatsThePlanPhil95@reddit
Well, I find Indian and black girls give me the most compliments, they tend to like the fact I have green eyes and brown skin
DiskBytes@reddit
That thread was interesting. A moderator had to say, "any comments beginning with as a man, will be removed".
Nothing like a bit of misandry on a Friday.
strawbebbymilkshake@reddit
You were not oppressed or hated on because you were asked to let women answer a question directed at them. God forbid men don’t talk over us.
DiskBytes@reddit
You can't tell someone that they are not oppressed, that literally is oppression.
strawbebbymilkshake@reddit
“When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”
I think this applies well to your complaint. Not being permitted to speak over people is not oppression.
UnacceptableUse@reddit
Are you saying this thread is misandry or the last thread having that message on it was misandry?
DiskBytes@reddit
Google "definition of misandry".
UnacceptableUse@reddit
Hatred or prejudice against men - which doesn't answer my question. Do you mean this thread or the pinned comment?
ahoneybadger3@reddit
A fair few times when I was younger. Not often in the last 10 years though.
Worst I had was when I was working in a callcentre and my manager asked if I could stay back an hour to man the lines.
Said aye thinking there'd be a bunch of us handling all of the UK's PayPal calls but no, just me and this manager.
She decided to spend the house call listening next to me which I was fuming inside thinking we could clear these calls a lot quicker if there were two of us.
Then she started running her foot up my leg and at the time I'm talking to some 80 year old about her birthday. I assumed my manager thought my leg was the chair leg and without making it awkward just moved my leg out of the way so she knew.
After the call ended she said I could just go home and not finish the rest of the overtime. Mint, early finish.
Next shift and I was pulled into a disciplinary meeting for logging into the systems 1 minute too late a few weeks prior. I ended up just walking out of the job.
Wasn't until I brought it up with some mates that I realised how stupid I'd been. I was single at the time and she was quite fit, definitely wouldn't have said no if she'd made it a little bit more obvious.
ALarkAscending@reddit
I have been approached. Usually by women that already know me or spent a bit of time with me even if we were meeting for the first time. And with the benefit of hindsight I have realised there were more approaches and interest than I was aware of at the time.
I'm not sure why. I think I am average looking, although I am genuinely interested in other people and I can be good company in the right circumstances.
I am married now and older so I get approached less but it has still happened. I love my wife so I politely let them know I'm not available.
LungHeadZ@reddit
I had an elderly lady telling me 'beauty before age' as she let me pass her in the bread isle. I didn't realise until I got home that she paid me a compliment.
I was mid 20's at the time. Probably wouldn't have worked out anyway. We picked different breads.
Tasty-Explanation503@reddit
Just doesn't happen really, only the top 1% of guys get approached if we are being honest, maybe even less.
I'm not counting in clubs or bars either when people have had plenty to drink, sober it just doesn't happen.
howitzer1@reddit
I can count on one hand. And all bar one of those I only realised at a minimum the next day.
Welshguy78@reddit
I was once groped and had my bits grabbed by a 60 something old drunk woman in a pub. Does sexual assault count? Apart from that, never.
YQB123@reddit
Maybe once.
After speaking to most women I can get them interested. Either by my accent, personality, ability to make them laugh, or some other shite.
The only time it happened I was working in a takeaway shop about 20 years old?
She said she was new to the area (moved from another city) and didn't know anyone. My co-workers told me to give her my number, but she never called.
I learnt afterwards that you're supposed to take the woman's number, but sadly, that never went anywhere.
It's the same with Apps. I won't get many matches, but because I know how to type, talk, be engaging, etc. the women I do match with are interested. But I'm not typically gonna make anyone turn their heads from the get-go.
Lee-Malone@reddit
Never in my entire 50 year adult life have I been approached.
Not that I would expect to be, I don't consider myself to be any more than a 5.
ThereAndFapAgain2@reddit
Never anymore since I'm over 30, but in my teens and 20s fairly often. I used to go clubbing a lot so would be approached all the time by girls.
GlumAd9856@reddit
I'm 43 and I don't think a woman has ever approached me romantically.
Not that I would have realised!
EvilTaffyapple@reddit
I’ve never been one to approach women.
Every woman I’ve ever dated (and now married, including my wife) has approached me and made the first move.
I was so useless I never made a move. It also sounds better when I told everyone they jumped me!
someguyontheweb99@reddit
Once I was 17ish she was easily if her 40s I’d guess
esgoore@reddit
Several times by men, a few times from women. Only ever been whilst out and about don’t go to clubs or bars, etc.
HerpaDerpaDumDum@reddit
A few times in my life from other men. Never by a woman. I'd like it if women approached me.
UnableSale260@reddit
I’ve been approached by women a few times, but I’m never expecting it so it catches me off guard and I end up stumbling over my words. Even in social places like the pub, I often don’t realise they’re flirting with me until afterwards. Honestly, it just doesn’t feel like something most people expect to happen in public anymore.
buttnuggetmaster@reddit
Maybe around 5 times in my life. Always in clubs. Haven't been clubbing for about 9 years. Thank god I'm spoken for now.
MaverickFegan@reddit
Not in a long time, 4 times as an adult, mainly men. A bald older man complemented me, a drunk farmer tried to pinch my bum, and a good looking bar tender gave me a wink. There was a woman who chatted me up when I was a bartender, so a 25% success rate isn’t so bad.
OkTechnician4610@reddit
A fair few Yrs ago my hubby got approached by someone where he was working at the time. He was in early 30’s at the time. Took him a while to notice I think he asked me about it and what I thought the woman meant. She was quite persistent apparently she knew he was married. He was asking me what to do about it. I told him to tell her he wasnt into women. 😀
Necessary_Money_9757@reddit
Do you mean approached by someone looking for a romantic partner, or for everyday things like being asked for directions?
I've never been approached by someone romantically or asked out. I was close friends with my partner for a long time before I realised we should be in a relationship, so I asked them out, they said yes and that was that.
I only really get approached for everyday things when someone has to, for example "please could you move out the way?", "does this train stop at Newport?"
Derfel60@reddit
3 times by women and once by a bloke in 29 years.
piernut@reddit
I wouldn't say "approached," but since I got fit, men of a certain age seem quite friendly with me at the gym and often make me feel like they're staring at me. One older gentleman complimented me on my physique.
Not very keen on it, I am autistic and would prefer not to interact with anyone, plus I am straight, but I also have cripplingly low self-esteem, so I will take whatever ego boost I can get.
One woman has become chatty with me as well. Still not keen on that.
I sometimes think some women are looking at me, but then I get paranoid that they think I am staring at them. 😂
Barbells_and_Bugs@reddit
In Australia in my mid-20's when I was bartending and surfing all day every day, pretty regularly.
Here in the UK, not once. Ever. Apart from one guy slapping my butt in a nightclub when I was leathered-up dressed as Kahl Drogo at halloween.
Crayon_Casserole@reddit
Younger me, a few times. Older me - yes, quite often now.
It's flattering, but weird.
westy1980@reddit
In 45 years. Never.
plz_be_nice_im_sad@reddit
I am very handsome and clean and smell nice, but never.
So maybe I’m not?
ARK_Redeemer@reddit
Not a single time. And I'm too worried about being seen as creepy to ever approach anyone else.
dan_in_his_own_way@reddit
I have never once been approached by anyone or chatted up in my life. 😂 Luckily, I hit the jackpot and me and my partner were friends first and have been together for almost 14 years. Granted, it'd be nice to chatted or something for a confidence boost or to feel nice about yourself. Nothing more.
dantes_b1tch@reddit
Not once in 42 years.
TofuSkins@reddit
Not often, mostly in clubs. A woman asked me and my friend for a threesome once.
Been chatted up in a shop once by a guy. And I've had guys stop their car a couple of times to chat to me which was creepy.
And someone tried it on on the bus once, but I think he might have been trying to hate crime me.
Upbeat-Fish-3348@reddit
I'm 29 and have never once been approached and I don't approach anyone else because I'm ugly as fuck.
sixe6throwaway@reddit
I do not get approached by people unless they ask for something off the top shelf in Tesco.
Entire-Sentence-9379@reddit
I asked out a guy from my theatre group last year (we are both straight F and M) and we actually went out to dinner. I ruined it by having too much to drink from a shocking case of nerves. Never mind!
DumCrescoSpero@reddit
I think I've been approached maybe once in my life.
TerryWagwan_@reddit
never and I like it that way
MrFLHDI@reddit
Once that I can remember, by mistake, she was on a first date and asked “are you ….”
Correct-Ad-6605@reddit
All the time. Had one literally clinging onto my legs in Tesco the other day. Didn't matter that she thought i was stealing the last T-bone out of her basket, i found it flattering. Went home and had a wank about it.
HellPresidenti@reddit
Last time inwas approached by a woman was 9 years ago and I ended up marrying her. Got divorced two and a half years ago. Not been approached since but I don't drink and don't go out much so that definitely doesnt help.
Done the online dating thing and women are shocked I'm never approached in person. Only compliments i get are from other guys for either my beard, or lifting a lot at the gym.
kreemy_kurds@reddit
Turns out more often than I realise according to my wife and friends, sometimes I notice sometimes I don't
DaveSinghSwitch@reddit
5 / 6 times. For some reason I only attract the crazy ones and it's not the good looking crazy. The ones that clearly look like they are on drugs and would start a fight with you.
hhfugrr3@reddit
Maybe 3 or 4 times in my life.
JabbaTheHuttsCock@reddit
Dogs in the park always seem to approach me for some reason. Might be the dog biscuits. Who knows. Humans though, never
Snaggl3t00t4@reddit
When I was a young man all I had to do was smile.
MidnightRambler87@reddit
Never.
Got hit with an ugly tree’s root, branches and any other associated ephemera since birth.
Upbeat_Branch_4231@reddit
Same here.
Upbeat_Branch_4231@reddit
I have never been approached by a woman. A few times by men when I was younger.
DLTBB2@reddit
Just blokes making the odd comment about my body.
JabbaTheHuttsCock@reddit
Nice Latissimus dorsi mate!
nemetonomega@reddit
Having seen you profile I can totally understand why. I certainly would 😆
Overlord_Bumblebee@reddit
I have always been the approachee, by men and women but am far too thick too have picked up on it. My wife was more direct. Had women hit on me in front of her and she'd be like what was that but she legitamitely had to explain it to me. I am/was, apparently, oblivious.
Two_bears_Hi_fiving@reddit
When I was single... Very rarely, when I got into relationships it would be common almost as if I have off a different scent or pheromone, now I'm married and have a ring visibly on my finger, all the time. I always just shut them down but many women (not all obviously) seem to see taking on a married man as a challenge it seems.
bonjajr@reddit
Yeah quite a few times in bars etc. usually a group of women and one would come over and ask for number etc or if I’m single.
Bobabator@reddit
In 25 years something like 5 times (Im not even sure its that much) a woman has approached me, I ruined it each time by opening my mouth or doing something unattractive lol.
In almost all of them it was only clear afterwards what was happening, only one time I knew she was keen.
Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit
I get approached so often I have to take a shitty stick out with me to beat them off with
EdgeOk2154@reddit
I’m in the uk too . All you have to Do these days is think and you get in the shit
EdgeOk2154@reddit
Thanks for the downvotes people but with all the control here in the uk you know I’m right 😉
EdgeOk2154@reddit
But to answer the question yes I’ve been approached a few times in life but very rarely. Me as a guy I’ve never approached anyone
AnxiousTerminator@reddit
Wtf are you on about?
EdgeOk2154@reddit
Everyone in the uk is terrified of being creepy so you have to do is think and people think You’re creepy
AnxiousTerminator@reddit
That simply isn't true. There is a huge problem with violence and sexual offences perpetrated against women by men. If more men worried about being perceived as creepy and managed their behaviour with that in mind then we would see much less of this offending. It's very easy not to be thought of as creepy by simply not harassing women and accepting 'no' without stalking and assaulting them.
EdgeOk2154@reddit
I’m not actually talking about any form of assault on women or harassment. I’m talking about life in general . These things to happen women in every country it’s the way of the world and it’s not good . But here in the uk all a guy at times has to do is look at woman wrong and he’s a creep .
AskUK-ModTeam@reddit
A top level comment (one that is not a reply) should be a good faith and genuine attempt to answer the question.
404pbnotfound@reddit
Couple times a year at best
One_Complex6429@reddit
No idea if this counts, but some guys tried to kidnap my brother when he was on his way home from work.as a 40 year old not a kid. He punched the ne of the I'm the nose as he tried to drag him into a van and hoiked himself over a high wall to escape.
Frosty_Leg4438@reddit
We men are not subtle in our flirting ways…
One_Complex6429@reddit
No, you should have just fluttered your eye lids
Own-Lecture251@reddit
Did anything come of it? Even just one date?
One_Complex6429@reddit
😂, I don't think so. I think they got a shock.
Ok-Can-2170@reddit
I struggle with social anxiety but I force my self to go out, Never had a Gf, I had girls approaching me and have long eye contact with me but I m God s lonely man
month ago one girl approached me while watching a gig she said " you are one of the most handsome men she ever saw" stood there frozen didn't know what to say gave her a hug and left
WeezyNetwork@reddit
When I was younger, quite a few times.
Asked on dates by men (most typically when I was working in hotels), FOH, boh, restaurant management, waiting staff.
Accosted by women in the same positions!
Straight as I am, declined all the male offers.
Told the gropey women to fook off, flirted with everyone else but never crossed any lines.
Married for 32 years now.
malin7@reddit
Used to be pretty often when I was younger and going out every weekend
Now once in a while at work or the gym, I suppose I must look approachable for some reason
CrimpsShootsandRuns@reddit
It might've happened when I was younger but I was too stupid to realise. Apart from that, my wife made the first move on me, and since then I've had 2 women and 1 guy approach me. Both in the last few years since I started beefing up.
thecrius@reddit
Never. But I am a big dude.
However, I once complimented a fellow man because of smooth he parked is car and he was genuinely confused for a moment thinking I was joking.
WestleyMc@reddit
The most by far was when DJing.. orders of magnitude more than when just ‘out’ but still not as much as you might think.
To this day i occasionally think about the time an attractive blonde chatted me up on a bench at a festival, but i didn’t realise until she walked off. my mate gave me a ‘wtf, obviously!’ when i said ‘oh maybe she was flirting!?’ Spent the rest of the festival trying to spot her.. I could not.
TheAdamena@reddit
It's never happened.
TrackNinetyOne@reddit
Quite often either at the gym or work, I wouldn't say women are afraid of being creepy or bothersome, but I do find it funny the creative and not so subtle ways they'll probe for answers during a normal conversation, never sure if they realise how obvious it is
The other way around though I 100% would feel creepy or bothersome approaching someone!
F1nut92@reddit
Not once in my 34 years, heck I feel people barely like me, never mind romantically as well.
Kvark33@reddit
Once in a nightclub, since then never.
xPhilip@reddit
More now that I’ve lost weight.
theModge@reddit
It happened once!
Admittedly I didn't realise at the time, but hey that was 20 years ago and I've been happily married for the last 10 to someone else.
R3NEGXDE@reddit
Only once in my entire life
mellonians@reddit
Apparently quite often according to my wife. I have never noticed though!
flightguy07@reddit
3 times by men, never by a women. Sadly, I am not gay.
KiwiShmiwi@reddit
Sadly? If you’re that sad about it I’m sure you can make it work, we all believe in you ✨
Fit-Bedroom-7645@reddit
Quite often, but it's almost always because of my beard. And it's 90% blokes. And it's usually a casual comment across a room or as walking past, rather than a full approach. Although some do want to come and have a chat.
rtrs_bastiat@reddit
Once. That was 15 years ago now in a socially appropriate setting.
Nathanial1289@reddit
I'm 36 now and been with my partner for 15 years. In my entire life, I've been approached 3 times.....
Once at school when I was like 14. Another time at university at 19. Once at work at 20.
Each one I screwed up badly and it never turned into a full on relationship. Genuinely at one point thought I was going to die a virgin as I had little to no game. Could quite easily talk to women but had no idea how to take it to another step and if they through themselves at me, I just got nervous and screwed it up. One person gave and later told she thought I must have been gay.
UnacceptableUse@reddit
Never except in school where it was for a dare
Gary_BBGames@reddit
Once, but it was by a woman for her gay male friend. I managed to actually date the woman for a few months.
MrTubek@reddit
Once, I was approached once! She's my wife now ❤️😂
Own-Lecture251@reddit
Dave? Dave?
MrTubek@reddit
Close, Damian
dirty-salsa@reddit
Age 32.
In person once for sure, maybe a couple more (never know if people are friendly or flirting).
Online about three times by women and about five by men.
Electrical_Flower757@reddit
Regularly when I was younger but it becomes increasingly unlikely with each passing year in my experience.
Atompunk78@reddit
By women in a sexual/romantic way? I think twice
Sudden_Hovercraft_56@reddit
once. But my wife (girlfriend at the time) was with me and wasn't happy about it.
Funny thing is I didn't even realize I was "being approached" untill my gf pointed it out. So the lesson here is, some guys are actually so clueless they don't even know, so you (and I) have probably been "approached" a lot more times than we actually realize!.
Own-Lecture251@reddit
I'm too old to be approached now (probably). Some blokes in a car beeped at me when I was out for a run in the Downs in Bristol years ago. One bit of the Downs is or was a gay pick up area.
HAMforPastry@reddit
It's only ever happened on nights out when groups of drunk women want to make fun of my looks.
Other than that never
when_music_hits@reddit
I got approached at a dance in Brighton, should've been a compliment but a) I'm not gay b) I was with my wife c) the guy was clearly cruising for whatever he could get annnd d) this particular dance was a rasta dance, quite alot like church really,
Got approached by a woman in a petrol station of all places, too.
Ralphisinthehouse@reddit
Lots of times, but not because I was particularly good-looking, it's because back in the 1990s, that was the only way people introduced each other.
Since I turned probably about 35, it's not happened since. And I was definitely doing more of the approaching than the being approached back in the day as well. Back then it was just normal.
I don't know why it's now creepy for somebody to come and talk to you. I mean, people can be creepy, but being approached shouldn't be creepy.
HankHippopopolous@reddit
I think 4 times in my life. Twice when I was single and twice when I wasn’t.
Once in a club. She made a beeline for me we did end up hooking up.
Once on the street. She was incredibly beautiful but I was kind of flustered and felt like this must be some kind of scam. Made my excuses and left. Whenever this question pops up I still wonder about this one and if I blew a great chance.
Twice more when I wasn’t single and so nothing could ever happen there.
INFERNOdll@reddit
never, ha
LARRYVOND13@reddit
It's not common but it happens.
Been really weirded out twice, made me remember that being a creep isn't gender specific.
Wishmaster891@reddit
a couple of times in my early 20s but it was more of a case of a couple of girls being like "oooh your well fit" bla bla bla sarcastiscally. The second time it happened i got into a chat about marvel films i think, an uncomfortable situation made slightly less so.
SlightlyIncandescent@reddit
Like most men I'm so oblivious to it that I don't see it at the time and realise 5 years later. Looking back there were a couple of times.
Basically I think the idea of sexual or romantic intentions being clear from the first interaction are very risky but if you approach in a more friendly way its still OK. Ideally in a social setting rather than when they are busy at work/gym etc. but I think there's a way to pull that off too in the right circumstances.
BlackJackKetchum@reddit
As Mary Shelley put it all those centuries ago, ‘when a man seduces a woman, it should be called a left handed marriage’. If not her, then someone else, and words to that effect.
I’ve had men try it on - unmistakably - whereas women are rather more subtle, aren’t they?
Steppy20@reddit
Three times - by guys. Admittedly it took me a moment to realise one of them was coming onto me because he was being quite a bit more subtle than the others.
Never by a lady.
Kapika96@reddit
Literally never.
TieDyePandas@reddit
Literally never by women, Men it's happened a few times over the years.
MMH1111@reddit
When I was younger and even more handsome, a visitor from the USA to whom I'd been chatting asked if I was gay. 'Errrrr no.' And that was it.
No woman has ever approached me and I can't say I blame them.
yorkspirate@reddit
Quite a few times over the years but it takes circa 18months to realise it 🤦♂️🤦♂️
In my early 20's when out all the time my then missus found it hilarious I'd no idea I was being flirted with or hit on
Rich6-0-6@reddit
Into my 20s it was still very much a case of my friends nudging me and going "She's flirting with you" or her telling her friend who'd tell my mate who'd tell me. It's a wonder that I am now happily married 😂
If I go out without my wife now it's with a crowd who are very much not strong on eye contact or talking to strangers.
Groxy_@reddit
Never lol, I've had one compliment from a women in my life while I was at uni.
TurbulentEffect99@reddit
A couple of times. In or outside a nightclub/bar. Not since I was in my 20s though. Would welcome being approached more.
Leotardleotard@reddit
I’m in my late 40’s and it still happens. Not as much as it did in my 20’s and 30’s but every few months I’ll be out and somebody will attempt to chat me up.
I flash my wedding ring though and that normally puts paid to it.
nemetonomega@reddit
A few times. But only ever in gay bars, and usually when accompanied by my husband.
Never understood why some women feel the need to hit on men they know will not be interested in them.
SubZerox27@reddit
Never
Tightropewalker0404@reddit
People hit on my boyfriend all the time lmao
ohnoyoudontlikeme@reddit
Never.
DrH1983@reddit
Approached romantically/sexually? I think it happened twice in my really 20s when I was more interesting and less of a sad old bloke
Haven't been approached at all in the last 20 years.
WhalingSmithers00@reddit
If you ever run into a hen do where they've invited all their aunties and their mum's friends then god help you.
121daysofsodom@reddit
Once. She thought I was someone else.
UniquePotato@reddit
Once face to face - I worked in a nightclub, and she was a regular. and once (genuine) on a dating app.
I probably have missed several subtle hints
LostHumanFishPerson@reddit
I had a random hot period when I was 27 when I was approached a few times. I even got the friend coming over once “my friend thinks you’re gorgeous and would like your number”.
I’ve grown ugly since because not a sniff of this in the last 7 years
Intrepid_Bearz@reddit
I’ve been hit on a few times. Mostly by women and I don’t swing that way 😩 I did have a guy in Leeds shove his hand down my shirt and feel around then say “there’s a bear in there!” and then try to snog me, which was weird. One chap on the Tube from Victoria to Tattenham Corner started hitting on me and really put a lot of effort in to it. So much that he suddenly looked panicked and said he’d missed his stop. I think he was hoping I’d let him come home with me… nope.
prussian_princess@reddit
By women? Maybe twice. Same night, and neither of which I took seriously. I also (maybe) had a chance to approach a cutie but chickened out.
Available_Heart_6694@reddit
As soon as Women find out im gay, suddenly im very approachable.
Targettio@reddit
Never. At least not in a direct sense. I have women come up to speak to me in social settings, but never with obvious flirtatious intent.
There might have been a few times where it was intended, but I missed it. Who knows.
MissingLink101@reddit
Only when going to gay bars/clubs with my friends (I'm straight).
Happens a fair amount and is quite flattering considering it wouldn't normally happen, interestingly seemed to increase when I got married...
NagromNitsuj@reddit
When I was 16 I would get catcalled everyday. Oh sorry, wrong thread.
Pink_Flash@reddit
3 times I can remember in 20 years? 😂
Oddly enough I had my air con serviced last week and I dont know if the guy was simply being friendly or if he was hitting on me. I didnt want to make anything of it since he was working in my home.
atsevoN@reddit
Only once, asked for my number and said I was pretty, but I was 26 and she was 20 so I said no
InvestigatorSoft3606@reddit
By women? About 3 times ever - all in bars / clubs & quite drunken - all approaches successful by the way - im obviously not very picky!
By men? Far more, and far creepier.
Objective_Mousse7216@reddit
Never in my long life
majorassburger@reddit
3 or 4 times that I can unequivocally say they wanted it. A lot more that in hindsight are obvious but at the time I didn’t realise. Facepalm.
TapeDeckSlick@reddit
Couple of times throughout my 20's not so much now I'm past 30, then again I much prefer not going out on the weekends anymore.
JPK12794@reddit
By guys maybe twice, by women never.
iffyClyro@reddit
A few times in person. Does sliding into the DMs also count?
Double_Field9835@reddit
It's happened twice in my life.
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