Has anyone joined a church to help school places?
Posted by BigFaithlessness618@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 68 comments
Me and my wife have started to discuss school places for our 1 year old. One of the front runners is a Church of England school that she works in, it's a very good school in the nice bit of town and having to not organise pick up and drop offs would mean less childcare expenses.
Unfortunately staff members children do not get priority and we live a 20 minute drive away so unlikely to get selected based on catchments.
Our only real chance is joining the local parish, now neither me or my wife have any belief in god and would likely raise our daughter the same. I am "Catholic" and went to a Catholic primary school and attended church every Sunday till secondary school more for my grandmother than my parents, they weren't religious and never believed. I still have fond memories of church parties ect.
My wife is against it, she thinks it's dishonest and weird. I kinda agree, I would have no intention of going if it wasn't for our schooling but also think you just have to do what's best for your child. I've also read it's quite common practice though.
Has anyone done it? What are your thoughts? Any church goer have experienced the influx?
Rubberfootman@reddit
They know what you’re doing.
Also, if you send your child to a school a 20 minutes drive away, you’ll be forever driving your child to school-friend’s houses.
barejokez@reddit
Yeah the church leaders can surely spot these families a mile off - showing up with 2 year old kids and disappearing as soon as school places are announced. I know several families who did it, quite shamelessly. And while I am not religious it did feel rather distasteful to me...
It's worth remarking that the commitment is more than it sounds. It isn't enough to just show up to church once a week and sit at the back reading Reddit on your phone. You have to do enough to be "known" at the church, so that when the reverend gets the list of people applying, he recognises yours and ticks the box.
It's also worth remarking that there are limits on church places also and if everyone is pulling the same trick (which they will be if it's the best school in the area) then going to church and running the bake sale may still not be enough. That would be even more annoying!
Personally, it might be worth OP's wife having a word with her boss to see if there are strings that can be pulled by them? Because the alternative might be that she takes a job at a more local school that does have a staff policy and she can manage childcare more easily...
Lost_Repeat_725@reddit
If it’s state school there will (or should) be no strings to pull. Schools have to admit by published admission criteria, strictly in order. Schools who don’t follow that criteria will get caught out if there’s an appeal, which can easily lead to them needing to take the child who lost out on a place even if they don’t technically have room for them.
They do have flexibility over what that criteria is, for example my local primary will give priority for Pupil Premium Pupils before anyone else is considered, upto 8/60 places, even if they’re not in catchment, after that the remaining PP applicants get ranked by other criteria/distance alongside anyone else. That’s not a criteria at a lot of schools, but you have to publish it before people apply.
The same school also has a staff criteria, the full order is something like:
Children in care, upto 8 pupil premium, children in catchment with siblings, other children in catchment, children of staff out of catchment, all other children.
So they do get some priority but not over kids who live in catchment.
barejokez@reddit
you're right, but they could consider changing the criteria to assist staff?
Lost_Repeat_725@reddit
If it’s an academy then they can give priority to children of staff who have worked there for 2+ years. If it’s LA run then it’s usually down to council policy, which they will not get changed for on teacher in one school if they don’t already allow it. It’s not a benefit to the council, if a child in catchment loses out on a place then the council may have to pay for their transport to the next nearest school.
If it is an academy then prioritising children of staff who are out of catchment over other children out of catchment will be acceptable to most people. But realistically getting the head teacher and governors to agree to change criteria to give priority to staff children from out of catchment over children in catchment will be hard, and I imagine a lot of parents would kick off.
We’ve got children of staff given priority over out of area kids, but if they gave them priority over kids in catchment there would be parents raising hell as there’s a shortage of places already in some years (other years they do take out of catchment), the local Facebook group would be a nightmare and given previous local issues I imagine the local paper would be getting involved. Any staff member who had a child in the school would probably be assumed to have unfairly gained it even if they did live nearby and honestly I wouldn’t be shocked if teachers and their kids ended up with minor issues or unhelpful comments from parents. It would just be a mess. No school needs that bad press, and relations with parents and general support from parents in some schools is already not great, so on the whole if I was the head I would not be attempting to change policy for one staff member.
Caveman1214@reddit
My primary school was 15/20 minutes away. Wouldn’t have traded it for the world
BreqsCousin@reddit
Yes unless you live very rurally there's surely a closer school that is good enough?
akrabat@reddit
Back in the 1970s my mother went to the local church so that I could get into the local CofE primary school.
We're now in 2026 and she's the oldest continuous member at that church. Unexpectedly, she found a community that worked for her.
Low-Ad580@reddit
As a regularly church goer, this infuriates me. We can spot you a mile off though, at a certain time of year, we start seeing people with young children that never come and they're gone again as soon as school places are given. Our vicar makes a point of not signing for them as it is cheating the system. Demand for some schools is so high, so it would be nice if we could all do it fairly. Also, I am a teacher at a CofE primary and we have some children who are incredibly rude and defiant when it comes to going to church events through the year because they have no respect for it. I get it's not for everyone but please do your kid a favour if you're not raising them in the church and don't force them into a CofE school when there are so many other options.
Worried-Penalty8744@reddit
Is it a selective CofE school or do the local authority do admissions? Because if it’s the second then the fact you go to church won’t make a difference as the LA will just go on their usual criteria. Selective CofE are quite rare too I think? I’ve never encountered one but seen a fair few catholic ones around.
Even selective schools don’t always admit people out of catchment if there are enough people in catchment though. So you’re still at a risk of not getting a place anyway.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
We have 100% got the rules right my wife works there and has been the teacher rep on the board historically. Priority is.
They recently went from two form entry to one. So now even people who live on the same road of the school aren't getting places.
PrimeWolf101@reddit
Personally I don't see a moral issue, provided you are respectful of the community when participating in church events. Your beliefs are for you alone and many reverends are open to the idea that a church is a community hub that brings people together regardless of belief.
Ultimately, it's a school funded by the UK government and I personally think that schools admission shouldn't be based on religious networking. They know what they are doing, you attending church to get your child into their school is the system working exactly as they intend. They get the opportunity to potentially convert your child to their belief system.
Altruistic_Cress_700@reddit
You should be able to get the info from the Admissions policy or the school office. How many children were outside category 1.
From what you say it's almost none, or something like 60% Cat 1, and the rest Cat 2 and the odd Cat 3. There will be an EHCP override too. Above Cat 1.
Assuming this is the case, then do the Church. The because having your wife at the school will be a massive practical benefit. And also it will get you all involved in the school.
You'll probably find that it isn't a chore and you'll end up involved in the school through your multiple connections.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
I kinda felt that.
The husband of one of the teachers was my best man, we already volunteered at summer fair, bonfire, school disco.
I even did after-school chess lessons to help start their chess club as I play chess semi competitively. ( I was once 2100).
Altruistic_Cress_700@reddit
Well there you go. How would you feel having to put all that effort into a different school if your child(s) went there. It's just not going to happen.
Sounds like your connections to the school are already strong and you are looking for validation for the obvious approach.
Is it immortal? Maybe a bit, but it's not black and white and we all know that the school would much rather have an involved family that is 'sort of' CofE than an un involved one that goes to church every week.
Expensive-Draw-6897@reddit
The priest and clergy will know exactly what you are doing unless you can back it up with experience of going to RC chapel.
It doesn't sound like it's worth it for a different primary school. A lot of parent blame the schools if their child is struggling at school but truth is that you can't polish a turd.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
What is RC chapel?
danamlowe@reddit
Roman Catholic.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
I've done nothing religious since I was confirmed.
Expensive-Draw-6897@reddit
I didn't that part of your intro. I think it would be ok then if you want to go but forcing it on your wife and kids is a different story.
Historical_Heron4801@reddit
My son goes to our local Catholic school. They have final say over who gets in but you do not have to be catholic. I do not go to church, not have I pretended to be catholic.
I do, however, volunteer regularly at the school/events/trips. We are very much part of school life. My son is not a believer, but is respectful during worship times and treats RE as interesting moral discussion points.
notreallysure3@reddit
I agree with your wife it’s dishonest. But also have a think about what message it sends to your kids. If you do go to church to try and get into the school, it’s my understanding that your child will both need to be baptised and that you would need to attend regularly. Your child with therefore likely be influenced by the message of the church (subsequently reinforced at school). If you’re not religious why would you want that for your child? And, what? At home you’re going to say “oh no, we don’t really believe in all that”? Do you really want to imply to your child that it’s OK to lie to others to get ahead in life?
escapingfromelba@reddit
They don't need to be baptised for CofE.
MillyHughes@reddit
I agree with the wife too. I think joining a church for this reason is a pretty gross thing to do.
Full-Suggestion-1320@reddit
My sister and husband did this as their nearest primary school was over subscribed and had a CofE emphasis, which if they joined the church gave their child an extra priority to get in the school.
I don't see it as cheating, I see it as using the resources available to you to help your child.
They attended services once a month and got involved in the more practical side, church grounds maintenance, helping with church fetes and events. Even though they don't particularly subscribe to the religious aspect, they have enjoyed the community aspect and continued after their child left the school.
No-Taro-6953@reddit
I am CofE. I was christened as a kid, married in CofE. I don't attend services super regularly, but every now and again.
I see it as pretty offensive and lacking in integrity to be honest. It's disrespectful to those that see churches as spiritual places. Against the whole ethos of what is taught at church. Helping with the grounds maintenance doesn't negate that.
It's setting a terrible example to children, that hypocrisy is ok to get ahead. That lying is fine if there's tangible benefits.
conustextile@reddit
Lots of people do this - a family friend did with her kids, and the oldest daughter converted and ended up genuinely believing! So be prepared for that potential outcome.
Fuzzy_Cantaloupe6353@reddit
Loads of people do it. Especially for religious private schools.
Just joining the church is not enough though you have to actually attend the events and be seen and keep it up for the next 6 years or whatever.
It's time consuming and yeah dishonest.
VeterinarianVast197@reddit
Send your kid to the local school and work on how you can help ‘make it better’ - volunteer, join the PTA etc
TelephoneOrnery1394@reddit
Our local school is 74% immigrants from one part of the world that often speak their own language and the parents don’t speak English. There is one school that all white British people send there children to (it’s still only 50% white) which I find nice and diverse.
escapingfromelba@reddit
That's not how a school actually works. Even the most dedicated parent volunteer can only tinker around the margins, your post is in effect a fantasy.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
I don't see how does the PTA make a school better?
They have 0 interactions with parents outside of fundraising. Maybe you could join the school board but even then it is hard.
I can't volunteer in school I work full-time and so does my wife.
SlowRaspberry4723@reddit
This is what I would do as well
FluffyOwl89@reddit
I think plenty of people do this. My SIL’s family are doing it for my niece. Personally, I’m a strong atheist and didn’t want my son to go to a religious school, so not something I’d remotely consider doing.
Have you looked into the other schools in the area? I understand it makes it easier for childcare for you, but it does tie you to that school and the commute. What if your wife changes job? It would be annoying to have the 20 minute drive still when she’s not working there. All their friends will live over near school too, rather than in your more immediate area.
littletorreira@reddit
It's a good argument for banning church run schools or at least stopping them from using religion as a selection criteria.
Revolutionary-Rub231@reddit
We wanted our 3 children to go to a catholic school as it was easily the best school in the area. My husband is catholic anyway but never goes to church. We attended bible classes for a few weeks purely so we could have all 3 of them baptised so they got into that school. If its the school u want for your child then u do what u have to, to get them a place.
Scottish_squirrel@reddit
Surely if you send your child to a school connected to the church, they'd have to take part in the church as part of their schooling? So if you don't want them being part of a church why would you enroll them in the school?
Either-Blackberry-46@reddit
I went to a cofe school which some pupils out of catchment had joined because of there connection to the church.
However there was very little interaction with the church, holidays Christmas and Easter we would go to church one morning and once a month we would have an assembly which a vicar would talk to us.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
I don't have a strong opinion either way. As I said in my post I went to a Catholic school but my parents aren't religious ( my dad was a science professor).
I was told that god was just a feeling of goodness and the bible was fables and not some supernatural creator. When I was very little I didn't question it and by the time I was old enough it was very clear that most people even in church were there for the community not god.
Feisty_Baseball_6566@reddit
Yes - wont make a difference - generally the (local authority) choose based on "as the crow flys" for the catchment area - not the schools.
They give zero f*s around your personal circumstances - priority is based on where you live and what is the closest school in the catchment, you can put that one down as your first if you wish but you are likely to get a closer one first.
I would change your mindset on this. I would be looking at the schools closest to your house and working out which one of those you would accept but which you wouldnt. If you pursue the current mindset you'll end up with a school thats closest and you didnt want.
This is coming from somebody who went through the appeals process and won the case 8 months later - by which point child had settled to some degree (less so than the upheaval anyway)
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
This is a parish school. It's 100% gives priority to children who are part of their parish. My wife was previously on the board and we understand the rules well.
Feisty_Baseball_6566@reddit
Then you'll also know that while priority is on faith, sibling links and then proximity if there are other parish schools in the area this is not a guarantee.
Just because the church you want them to attend is 20 minutes away so you can get into that school that's 20 minutes away will not give you priority - proximity will go to the catchment area first, if all those places fill up you will be offered a place then at a school that offers the same faith but in your catchment area.
There are 11 parish schools in my area - only 1 of those is within the catchment area while there are other non parish schools in the catchment, Applying for a school outside of catchment in another parish would have risked potentially your equivalent of 20mins in the other direction.
My ExWife was of faith since before the birth of our Son in 2012 - he was baptised in said parish church as well - i am not of faith, never have been - my ExWife was, I sat there knowing we've increased the congregation for the sole benefit of your child going to parish school (to me anyway) seemed "dishonest" in itself. My Son (13) has not attended church since leaving CofE school.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
I've copied from the website and then put through AI to take out the school names ect to not dox myself.
Standard Admission Priority Criteria
In the event that applications exceed the Published Admission Number (PAN) of 30 places per year group, the following over-subscription criteria are typically applied in order:
Priority 1: Looked After Children (LAC) Children currently in the care of a local authority or those who were previously in care but have since been adopted or placed under a residency/special guardianship order.
Priority 2: Exceptional Medical or Social Needs Children with a specific, demonstrated need to attend the school. This requires professional supporting evidence (e.g., from a doctor or social worker) explaining why this specific setting is uniquely suited to the child’s requirements.
Priority 3: Sibling Connection Applicants who have a brother or sister (including half, step, or foster siblings living at the same address) already enrolled at the school at the time of the new student's admission.
Priority 4: Religious Affiliation For faith-based schools, priority is given to children whose families are regular, practicing members of the associated church or another recognized Christian denomination. This usually requires the submission of a Supplementary Information Form (SIF) signed by a minister.
Priority 5: Geographic Proximity Remaining places are allocated based on the distance from the child’s primary home address to the school gates, usually measured in a straight line ("as the crow flies").
Altruistic_Cress_700@reddit
Normally I'd say no. But if the OPs wife works there, then the transport is not a consideration, especially if the job is likely to last until the child leaves for secondary.
Having parent working at the school will be a big practical advantage.
So to the main topic, there's also a concept of cultural Christianity. The OP was a Catholic and might enjoy going to church. The child will also end up being involved with the church through the school. So attending church is not bizarre.
So I'd say that the OP should consider it. The mum can be passive, so long as she doesn't seriously object. Church of England will happily take a lapsed Catholic.
And get the child baptised sooner rather than later.
The mai reason for my comment is that by the mum working there, it's a much more sensible option for the child to go to the same school.
burnafterreading90@reddit
Our priest refuses to sign anything - he’s aware of those who are actual regulars and those who only do it for school places.
It’s very dishonest and I wouldn’t attend church solely for this reason tbh.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
That's why we are discussing it now instead of when my daughter is 3. If we want to it's something we would have to do now for this exact reason.
My wife has on occasion already independently gone to church for "school" related activities and goes regularly with school, so us going as a family wouldn't be a stretch and look dishonest.
burnafterreading90@reddit
It might still look like she’s going for the school as it’s mostly with the school.
Each church will be different for example - mine you have to have been going to church for christenings etc and have been going to church regularly since christening.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
My daughter is not christen yet and is about the right age... I think.
I don't know the rules but we would obviously follow them. I'm not sure if people bring newborns to church normally seems disruptive.
burnafterreading90@reddit
Plenty of people take newborns to church
Pyjama365@reddit
I agree with your wife, the system itself is completely immoral in my mind, and it's immoral that religious groups know it encourages significant numbers of people to lie to get admission to 'better' schools, but they don't really care because the the opportunity to influence children is more important to them than objecting to the lying.
However, I'd add that this absurd system continues to exists because councils can say they "have enough places" to meet local need, regardless of whether local parents want religious influence on their school admissions or teaching, and ignoring that the majority of people in the UK have no religion (BSAS 2020).
Given the child is only 1 (and also your wife might change jobs before they age out of primary in 10 years), you might benefit from seeing what Humanists UK say about parents' rights in this regard, and supporting their work on the issue generally where you're able to:
https://humanists.uk/campaigns/current-campaigns/religious-schools/
escapingfromelba@reddit
This system "exists" because church schools save the taxpayer a lot of money. They have to raise part of their own funding for example, and if they are an old school then benefactors paid for the land and buildings.
IamlostlikeZoroIs@reddit
I’m sure people do this all the time and it’s not really dishonest, it’s just business. That’s all a church is so might as well use it like one.
LemmysCodPiece@reddit
I wouldn't. Whilst I am not a believer, respect to anyone that is, you would be making a mockery of a religion.
yolo_snail@reddit
Honestly, a Christian school would put me off in the first place!
Free-Progress-7288@reddit
I was in a similar position to you and took our eldest to mass to get her into a great Catholic school. I’d class myself as a cultural Catholic. I went to Catholic school and there’s a lot more to it than just going to mass and believing and I wanted my kids to have the same great education and upbringing I did. I’d 100% do the same again. And to those who say it’s dishonest or whatever, I think the way to look at it is at least you are making some effort - if you didn’t the place would simply go to a local child that has been christened but who’s parents haven’t bothered to go at all.
TSC-99@reddit
I agree with your wife. If you want them to be in the same school because of wrap around care, maybe she should get a job in the school your child should go to instead.
BigFaithlessness618@reddit (OP)
I think that's harder and she likes where she works.
TransatlanticMadame@reddit
The town I live in is entirely geared up for people to fake religion in order to get in to a school. Once the kids are in, they stop going to church.
twentiethcenturyduck@reddit
My parents did this.
Didn’t like the school as none of my friends went there and we, as a family, didn’t do religion so didn’t have any common ground with the other families.
My education suffered as I was miserable.
And the school itself wasn’t representative of the rest world.
PrincessPK475@reddit
I did.
Got her baptised for it and everything. I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools myself and did still go periodically to church to assuage my guilt over it.... But would hardly call myself religious or practicing, I see value in attending and being part of that community though still without being indoctrinated.
I was in a pretty dire financial situation and living in an area that would have seen her go to the worst schools in the city as a feeder area otherwise.
I wasn't sure how my life would progress but I'd do and say anything to do right by her and give her the best chance of success.
So yep, I did it as a fail safe to get her into a better school if my situation didn't change.
Then I worked my arse off to not rely solely on that, did manage to change my situation and moved to a better area in time for admissions.
The interview I had to have with the priest was absolutely painful
Would do it again in a heartbeat. I don't expect anyone to make apology for exploiting whatever they can in this life for their children when you have little other options.... It's dog eat dog out there.
Doing it when you don't need to though and have other options available to you is questionable though.
BillyJoeDubuluw@reddit
I do agree with your wife, she’s ultimately right.
I am admittedly a cultural Catholic as opposed to a regularly practicing Catholic, but I do hold a degree of observation albeit arguably culturally.
If you’re quite strongly geared towards atheism that’s perfectly fine but don’t take up a place in a faith school purely for “the perk box” or “the goodies”… While you would get away with it I just think it’s bad form.
With that said, the Church of England is its own kettle of fish and I don’t believe you have to be a practising Christian… A very good friend of mine is quite vocally atheist and her daughter attends the local C of E school without any “false faith”… I think you should just apply on your own merit and you either get accepted or you don’t…
tetlee@reddit
My mum worked at a C of E school that screened like this. When the school first opened the church realised people were turning up at the start of the service and signing the attendance book then immediately leaving. They changed it so they only put out the attendance book at the end. So yes, people 100% go to church to get their kids into a school.
Repulsive-Echidna-74@reddit
Do it. You can always ask for forgiveness
TadpoleNational6988@reddit
Isn’t this why they say “pay or pray”?😂
SnooHamsters5480@reddit
It is kind of dishonest, but if the school is worth it, I would do it.
Beginning-Poet-2991@reddit
I agree with your wife although I know it’s common for people to fake it. I personally couldn’t. Surely there is another nice school nearby?
BeardedBaldMan@reddit
I agree with her, but that wouldn't stop me doing it. You'd probably meet some other parents in a similar situation to you and you can bond over that. Then once you've got everything sorted you can decide what to do.
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