Anon questions | TheaterFire

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mipsisdifficult@reddit

>Supreme leader is named Hitler
>Second in command is named Himmler

Who writes this shit?

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Reading_username@reddit

Luigi and Waluigi

Mario and Wario

Hitler and Himmler

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You know, I'm strongly tempted to paint a lovely picture of Luigi wearing a green-accented SS uniform watching over a concentration camp full of Nintendo gamers with Switch 2s in response to that question.

If I were to do so, however, Nintendo would find it and correctly interpret it as an incisive commentary on their tyrannical business practices. They would then proceed to sue me into a state of non-existence - as they do whenever they realize that someone understands the perverse darkness behind their family-friendly IP recycling.

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Michal_999@reddit

Kittler

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

Und wir sagen, dass der Krieg nicht so enden wird, wie die Juden es sich vorstellen, nämlich mit der Vertreibung der Arier, sondern dass das Ergebnis dieses Krieges die VÖLLIGE VERNICHTUNG DER JUDEN SEIN WIRD!!!

Jeez.... someone's all grumpy today. Here's a nice saucer of warm milk, some Fancy Feast and.... all the ear scritchies you can handle!

*fusses, growls, then purrs*
Perhaps..... perhaps there can be peace in Europe once again.....

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Poundweed@reddit

Man named Kalashnikov creates an assault rifle

Man named Balashnikov makes a gun based on it

Deadass, dude who made Galil was named at birth as Yisrael Balashnikov, who writes this shit

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ForumsDwelling@reddit

Yisrael

Am I noticing???

gif

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moverwhomovesthings@reddit

There is no noticing, the Galil is an isreali rifle.

Oh wait, well noticed, the rifle made in israel has been developed by a one (((((((them)))))))))™, good job and such, very smart, much thinking.

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Ok_Two_2604@reddit

They should have been brave and just rotated the first letter Luigi like they did was Wario

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vjmdhzgr@reddit

In Japanese walui means evil. So Waluigi is a really good version of like, Eviluigi where instead of just sharing one letter it's half of each word.

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blueponies1@reddit

Have general named Franz Halder

Dont use him to hold France

Fucking idiot

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FrenchAmericanNugget@reddit

head of british forces in france: John French

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DickviperAU@reddit

Tolkien does

Saruman = Sauron man

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Snazzysnaj@reddit

>Leader named Vladimir > Is at war with Volodymyr

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That-Grim-Reaper@reddit

Leader named Obama Archnemesis called Osama

Cheap

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afrikatheboldone@reddit

It's like poetry, it rhymes.

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Able_Supermarket8236@reddit

>Called Trump

>uhhh

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kyoko_the_eevee@reddit

Called Trump

Known for being rich

First VP named Pence

There ya go!

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Haganu@reddit

First VP named Pence

Need VP again

Second VP named Vance

Can't make shit up

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BigBootyBuff@reddit

That's some Lance Vance Vice City shit.

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Able_Supermarket8236@reddit

That sucks. Mine already sucks, but yours sucks more.

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

You didn't actually make one - you just invited other people to try

You don't get to throw shade until you show your work, mate

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Able_Supermarket8236@reddit

Allow me to show my work to help you understand my genius joke:

Given joke format: [name of world leader] does [name as verb]

Chosen world leader: Trump

Definition of Trump as verb: "to get the better of"

Thought process:

This world leader is highly praised by his followers and "wins too much".
He is also highly denigrated by much of the world for many actions that are seen as complete failures.
The obvious joke is that "Trump trumps", and anyone who has ever heard that word before will make the connection right away. However, given the controversial actions, whether Trump actually trumps is the subject of much debate.
I don't want to make the obvious joke or have people arguing in my comments.
Set up obvious joke, then set up the swing-and-miss.

Result: Multiple people miss the joke and think I need help. They offer objectively poor substitutions, not realizing that the answer is right in front of them.

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kyoko_the_eevee@reddit

Maybe I’m just too autistic, but that wasn’t really obvious in your initial comment.

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Able_Supermarket8236@reddit

You probably are too something then. It's simple pattern recognition with vocab. If you see "Stalin stalls" and "Hitler hits", and then see "Trump", how can you not immediately think "Trump trumps"? I challenge you to find a better world leader name for this format.

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kyoko_the_eevee@reddit

Trump also “trumps” in the sense of a trumpet: he’s very vocal about his achievements throughout his life, just like one would “trumpet around”. One might even argue that he’s trumped up his achievements.

And frankly, I still think my joke wasn’t too bad.

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Able_Supermarket8236@reddit

Those options are much better than your initial offering, and they actually fit the format. Good job.

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

B+ SHOWS IMPROVEMENT!

Nigga, where the fuck is that grading rubric at!?

Motherfucker I need DETAILS

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kyoko_the_eevee@reddit

Thanks?

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kyoko_the_eevee@reddit

:(

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HailToTheKingslayer@reddit

In the UK, trump means fart

He shits himself constantly

Hmmm

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Able_Supermarket8236@reddit

Love it

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

> gets shot
> doesn't go by 'stump' even for a little while

Is he stupid?

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Able_Supermarket8236@reddit

Not good

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LukeJaywalker0@reddit

Nominative determinism

Thats why my son will be named Guywho Fuxalot Ovwomen

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zdy132@reddit

/r/NominativeDeterminism

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SilliusS0ddus@reddit

Why not Fux onewoman olot

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achfiat@reddit (OP)

Deshalb heisst mein Sohn Derfickt Vielerweiber

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Mistr_MADness@reddit

der kleine derfi

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eutectic_h8r@reddit

But what if he takes his husband's name: O'Dudes?

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

Everyone has heard of the 'self-fulfilling prophecy' literary device, but I think with that name you just invented the world's first 'self-defeating prophecy'

Bravo - don't have children.

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Shrekromancer@reddit

Named Vladimir Rival is named Volodymyr

Creative writing is dead

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nubbinfun101@reddit

The meaning of the name Vladimir is "Ruler of Peace". So proceeds murder nearby innocent country who was previously an ally. Can't make this shit up

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zenderlen@reddit

like, that's literally the exact same name, just with a minor linguistic difference between related languages

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Reading_username@reddit

Called "Mao" Ze Dong

decides to kill every bird in the country

Fiction can't be stranger than this

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

I think it was specifically sparrows, but considering his plan was basically to weaponize peasants by having them make noise where birds like to sleep until they die of exhaustion, I think target discipline was likely not a priority.

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MakimaMyBeloved@reddit

But why though? Did a sparrow kill his father or what

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Umak30@reddit

China wanted to exterminate the 4 common "Pests". Rats, flies, mosquitos and sparrows. All "pests" were known to spread diseases and eat grain. The idea was simple, if you removed these animals, surely people would have more food and would be less sick...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Pests_campaign

Problem was, especially with the sparrows, that they ate far more bugs ( who primarily eat grain ) than they ate grain. So the result was a massive population boom of bugs, locusts,

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JPowTheDayTrader@reddit

It's mind boggling how far China has gone after bullshit like this

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Faust_the_Faustinian@reddit

I mean, Chinese history is full of dumb stuff happening most of the time.

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SpecialistAddendum6@reddit

He thought that they were destroying the crops. However, killing sparrows meant more locusts, which destroyed crops

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Multibuff@reddit

And peasants building stone ovens in the field to make “steel” during a famine. The blueprint was in the newspaper

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MarionetteScans@reddit

Meow Ze Dong?

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qoheletal@reddit

Called Chairman

Doesn't have any chair-related superpower

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_spec_tre@reddit

Funnily enough in cantonese mao literally means cat

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southwest_barfight@reddit

Lazy writing tbh

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INCUMBENTLAWYER@reddit

Brilliant work as always, Mr Kojima

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toomuchradiation@reddit

That's been russian war doctrine ever since mongols. Expand, create buffer zones. In case of invasion fall back and starve enemy forces, good luck surviving in winter far off your logistic lines.

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BlackIronSorceress@reddit

Called Winston Churchill

Military strategy involves a 400 pound gorilla with a tesla cannon

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SpecialistAddendum6@reddit

Rule of thumb: everything Winston Churchill ever did was horrible and racist, except for the things that were related to World War II

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

Considering his attitude on Indians I'm kind of surprised he hasn't been turned into an anime girl and made the mascot of /int/ by now.

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bantabot@reddit

The shit he did to the Bengalis was largely justified

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Neomataza@reddit

Similar for Charles De Gaulle. He was a close minded anti-semite before the war, and ended up marching into paris with a cops of jewish resistance soldiers. On the other hand, the collaborators of Vichy France were the progressive open minded ones before the war.

Kind of ironic.

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prettyfuckingfarfrom@reddit

Learn to separate the art and the artist

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soiboi64@reddit

Unfathomably based

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Professional-City901@reddit

Pretty lazy writing by God it seems

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The-White-Dot@reddit

Winston Churchill, literally gave away the ending with the beginning of his name. Smh, and people say this was a classic.

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Fyrefanboy@reddit

I'll never forgive them for turning France into jobbers just to hype up the Nazi

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soiboi64@reddit

called Putin

poos himself and on things

can't make this shit up

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findMyNudesSomewhere@reddit

Called Putin

Putin his Army in enemy territory

Really can't make this up

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Alokir@reddit

> called Vladimir Put in

> Dracula is based on Vlad the Impaler

> author must have been a Dracula fanboy

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Biolume_Eater@reddit

-Assumes office while military is using thermobaric weapons on civilians in Grozny

-A group takes hostages, he releases fentanyl gas in the theatre and doesnt tell first responders about it, basically killing everyone

-Human wave attacks against Ukraine, Slav on Slav violence for 5 years and counting

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Pretty-Researcher404@reddit

wait really...?

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

If you were the most individually powerful man your country had ever seen, with everyone of your nationality across the fucking world afraid to so much as breath in a way that displeases you... wouldn't you pop a log on someone, just to see how it feels?

I don't think we need public confirmation or evidence on this one - Putin shits on people, end of story.

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davisao11@reddit

The pope poops on people confirmed by u/Slide-Maleficent

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Slide-Maleficent@reddit

Pffft - the pope wishes he had 'shitting on people' juice

Honestly, I'd be surprised if modern popes could even get a cardinal to suck their cock. Lord knows they had no problems with that back in the renaissance. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

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AbortionBulld0zer@reddit

shitting briefcase is the thing

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ThrowawayITA_@reddit

Called Putin

Divorced

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AshernStoryTime@reddit

Called Trump Incredibly self-centered and vocally egotistical ("trumpeting his own horn")

We live in a clown world

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Rakki97@reddit

Called Trump. Military strategy stock pump. Who writes this shit?

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Ardalev@reddit

I did naught Hit-ler, I did naught!

Oh hi Mark!

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DennisDEX@reddit

You would be surprised to know his name was not actually Hitler and he was not German.

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Alokir@reddit

> look at a map

> Nigeria and Niger, Iran and Iraq, Slovenia and Slovakia next to each other

> a bunch of countries with names like Guyana or Guinea

> United Kingdom spawn United States

> a ton of rain in the UK, a country named Ukraine

Lazy writing

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> the brawn is literally named Bronn

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Punguin456@reddit

Hitler: Has a General who's name means France Holder.

Also Hitler: Doesn't use said General to Hold France.

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Called Diocletian

Splits the Roman Empire in two

Likes it so much he splits the two parts in two again

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Magnus_Helgisson@reddit

Called Hitler

Immediately starts a holocaust

Who would expect that?

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RedDragons8@reddit

Lou Gehrig, gets Lou Gehrig disease, dies

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Marci_1992@reddit

named Tommy John

first person ever to get Tommy John surgery

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Fyrefanboy@reddit

MFW the heroic leader of the french resistance is named Charles De GAULLE.

What's next, John of Albion lead the english to victory ? Or will it be Karl German ?

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Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Oh finally a character that isn't just what he does in the name

Looks at lore

He's a close relative of a previously very popular character that got killed off screen a few years before.

You expect me to believe that two cousins can just independently be elected President?

Oh and he's just like the greatest President ever and has like four terms and everybody loves him and he stays in office until he dies and he fighrs both Hitler and Stalin while sick with a deadly disease. Uh huh.

Marries and fucks his other cousin

Jfc fucking author self insert Mary Sue bullshit

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Brief-Luck-6254@reddit

Called Franklin D. Roosvelt.

Uhhhh I guess he was Frank?

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Sarkii_@reddit

Named Franklin D Roosevelt

Does D Day

How do you not see this

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called Hirohito

became a hero when his military hit Oahu in a preemptive strike

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MuppetFucker2077@reddit

gif