Japanese moving to American landlord’s house. I don’t know how to read this. ??
Posted by ComprehensiveCat9137@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 63 comments
English is not my first language, so please understand if you find mistakes.
I messaged to my landlord “I will arrive around 11pm. If you hear sound, please ignore and just have your time thanks”
He messaged back “I need to wake up at 7:30am, so be mindful of making noise”
What does that mean? He wants me to come next day afternoon or giving warning of eviction if I make noise? I don’t know how to respond honestly. When I get no info of what time he would leave home, have no idea when I have to head to.
The_Motherlord@reddit
He just wants you to be aware that he may have already gone to bed by then and would like you to be conscious not to make excessive noise upon entering. No slamming doors, etc. If you trip in the dark and make a loud noise he will not call the police but he will be annoyed by the disturbance if it wakes him.
You should reply thanking him for letting you know and that you will be aware to be as quiet as possible.
mythicalwolf00@reddit
I understand English is not your first language but I feel this is like... Incredibly straight forward if a message.
ComprehensiveCat9137@reddit (OP)
My original text is “ I am so sorry if I can’t say thank you when I arrive. It must around 11pm. I wish I could know more about that area. If I make any noise please be generous to forgive my rudeness…blah blah” (I meant it is you who said ok anytime any date is ok)
OrphanAxis@reddit
He's just letting you know he has to get up early, so he'd appreciate if you're quiet and don't disturb him later in the day.
If you're not playing loud music/TV, moving heavy furniture late, not having loud company over, and not literally stomping around the house all night, you're probably doing more than he expects. It's not at at all uncommon for people moving in to do that, especially a lot of younger people who will have friends help them move in their furniture in exchange for some drinks and food, which can sometimes turn into a small party.
Relationships with landlords can vary on a large spectrum of basically never seeing them, to being friendly with them. I'd assume because you are renting in the same house or complex as him, you'll likely see him often, but just be friendly when you do. Introduce yourself when you run into him coming or or going, or when he's obviously not busy, and keep things relatively brief by talking about work and any basic questions about the living situation. Most landlords don't do much more than that and whatever repairs and upkeep they're expected to from your contract and state or local laws, anything else is them choosing to go above and beyond, and it's not a healthy business relationship to be close enough that you're being an actual friend and doing personal favors often.
If they're generally interested in helping you learn the area or whatever else, wait for them to offer more than advice on directions, recommendations for finding things locally, and basic questions. Once you make some actual new friends and acquaintances through work, social areas (local bars, hobby communities, church if that's your thing, etcetera), they'll likely be far more willing to help you out. You may even be able to find other immigrants around to help you navigate the transition, depending on where you are.
For example, I'm in New Jersey a bit outside New York City. We have immigrants from just about everywhere, and they often help each other a lot even when they're from totally different cultures and speak very little English. Larger cities or nearby suburbs probably have a lot more people like that, and the locals are far more accustomed and willing to help people like yourself.
Americans have a very different understanding of being polite. Making small talk and asking people about their day, complimenting them casually, and very little thought about age difference or hierarchy outside of more formal work environments. Even then, bosses at places like big law firms and corporations may insist on you calling them by their first name and talk to you about more personal things. If you're ever lost about what you should do, just be honest and say the cultural differences are confusing, and they'll probably help explain it to you.
My best advice is to use reddit and other platforms to ask questions to people local and possibly make friends. Or feel free to message me. I used to be a bit of an otaku as a teenager, am still a huge fan of Mobile Suit Gundam, and that led me to taking an interest in getting a better understanding on actually Japanese culture, though I'm no expert. But if I can help at all, I'm happy to.
First little tip is to try and be brief with messages and don't be too formal or apologetic. Even as an American I struggle with this sometimes, it's just my nature to be polite and thorough)."Thank you. I'll be there at 11pm. I'll be as quiet as possible. I look forward to meeting you in person when you get the chance." You'll better be able to discuss your situation or concerns with him in person.
mythicalwolf00@reddit
Okay but my point still stands. His reply was wildly straight forward. 11pm is very late especially when someone needs to wake up early. So he's telling you to keep quiet. There's nothing really confusing about that tbh
ComprehensiveCat9137@reddit (OP)
What I concern is he must know nobody makes terrible noise at 11pm (police police..) and maybe one light trash bags filled with clothing will be the only thing I will carry with me. It’s not possible to make zero sound, car parking and door opening and maybe flushing toilets. When he sent that messages, I am a little nervous. I don’t know what his intention behind is.
dotdedo@reddit
You’d be surprised. When my parents would wake up in the middle of the night I would hear it all the way upstairs. People don’t normally call police for noise complaints unless it’s a reoccurring problem as it’s not necessarily dangerous, just annoying. People don’t want to call the cops for every little thing so sometimes noise ordinances go unnoticed as no one cares enough to report it but people can be loud.
When I was growing up our neighbor wasn’t allowed to practice the tuba inside his house for the sake of his parents ears so he would do it. Outside. At 10. Every night. My parents didn’t let me complain to police because “that would be rude of me” (note they didn’t even like these people either)
mythicalwolf00@reddit
You must not have spent much time in the US if you think people aren't loud at 11pm.
There is no intention behind it. It means exactly as it says, stop reading more into it or being so paranoid. Be mindful to other people as you do your thing in the middle of the night, that's literally all it said and all it meant.
MrShake4@reddit
Americans are much more direct than the culture you’re used to it seems.
He says to be mindful about making too much noise, he’s asking you to be mindful about making too much noise. There is no subtext
DharmaCub@reddit
Dude he's just asking you to be as quiet as you can late at night. You're reading WAY too much into it.
observant_hobo@reddit
You are overthinking things. Americans are a low context culture and can be pretty straigthforward. He is not being rude, just making you aware of a fact. The correct response is to acknowledge you have seen and understood his message and will act appropriately. Something like "I understand, and will take care to be quiet."
Giddyup_1998@reddit
Do you have a key to enter the house?
ComprehensiveCat9137@reddit (OP)
Yes. All room is already set. I just need to park a car and open the door.
Giddyup_1998@reddit
You will be fine. Good luck with your new adventure.
AndreaTwerk@reddit
To clarify, are you moving furniture in at 11 pm? Or are you just arriving and going to sleep around then?
ComprehensiveCat9137@reddit (OP)
No just some trash bags filled with my clothings. And I don’t carry them at night of course. I can drag them next morning. Already moved what I need right now.
AndreaTwerk@reddit
Then don't worry about it.
He said that because your phrasing made it sound like you were expecting to make noise.
CatnipCricket-329@reddit
You will be fine. Sadly, some Americans can be selfish. The selfish people might arrive at 11 pm, turn on the TV, talk on the phone, discipline their children, and move belongings inside while opening and closing the door loudly before going to sleep.
Raving_Lunatic69@reddit
Just don't slam the door, lol. That's all.
fakesaucisse@reddit
When you come in, close the door gently (hold onto the door handle as it closes to prevent it from slamming shut). Take off your shoes and walk softly. Try to go straight to bed or sit somewhere and don't walk around a lot to limit any sounds of walking/pacing. Don't turn on the TV or play music unless you have headphones. Don't take a shower late at night or cook anything that creates a lot of noise.
That's basically what he's expecting. This is just general common courtesy that Americans expect when living in an apartment building or shared house.
RunJumpSleep@reddit
Are you moving into the same house as the landlord or a unit next to the landlord? It makes a difference.
Pretty_Hold5454@reddit
He gave you a very straightforward answer which is very typical in the US. Walk in quietly and don't make noise.
GotMeAMuleToRide@reddit
I wish I got as much sleep as your landlord.
DharmaCub@reddit
Just go to bed earlier?
GotMeAMuleToRide@reddit
Not possible at the moment.
Rob_LeMatic@reddit
There is no secret subtle message.
He said, "Ok. That is fine. Don't wake me up."
V-DaySniper@reddit
静かにしてください。朝の7時半に起きなければなりません。
manokpsa@reddit
I would say, "No problem, I'll be mindful and keep the noise to a minimum." And then when you get there, try to put your things away gently, only unpack what you need for the night, and don't unpack the rest or move furniture or anything until the next morning.
Buhos_En_Pantelones@reddit
I like how somebody answers the question and everybody's like "I wanna answer too!"
Rob_LeMatic@reddit
I don't like that. It's my third least favorite thing about reddit.
Should I put a "not sarcasm" tag at the end of this, to let everyone know I'm being sincere?
jennyluvsbagels@reddit
I mean this is Reddit
seifd@reddit
He is going to be sleeping because he must wake up early. Please enter the house quietly and do not wake him.
Grindar1986@reddit
He's just saying "I have to get up early so please try not to wake me up".
Living_Fig_6386@reddit
He is telling you that he will be sleeping, and asks that you be quiet so that you do not wake him. There is no threat or anger implied. He recognizes your message as polite, and asks that you also be polite in trying not to make noise that might wake him because he needs the rest so he can attend to something early in the morning.
kritter4life@reddit
It means be as quiet as possible.
MadLib777@reddit
You have the right answers here. He's just asking you to respect quiet hours, as he'll be trying to sleep. (Generally, in the US, 10pm-6am are considered quiet hours, but not everyone works a traditional schedule.)
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SakanaToDoubutsu@reddit
私は7時半に起きて、騒がなくてください。
Saltwater_Heart@reddit
He’s asking you to stay quiet that late at night because he has to be up early
wittyrepartees@reddit
You'll be fine. He's saying "I'm sorry if my 11pm arrival disturbs you, and please don't make too much noise so that I can sleep well at night."
American communication is pretty direct, this is an example of that- there's no extra message. You can respond with "Ok! Can do!" (which essentially means- happy to do what you ask). You could also say "I'm very quiet, but please tell me if you're ever disturbed by noise from the apartment".
American noise expectations are much louder than Japanese ones, I can't imagine you'll ever have a problem.
machagogo@reddit
He is just asking that you keep the noise to a minimum as they will be asleep. Don't blast music, slam doors, or cause a general rucus.
Basically to just be considerate of others at that late hour.
Mindfulness is a common trait in Japanese folks in my experience, so you likely don't need to alter your behavior at all.
RandiCandy@reddit
He's ok with you arriving at 11pm. Just be as quiet as possible when you get there so you dont disrupt his sleep
DOMSdeluise@reddit
“I need to wake up at 7:30am, so be mindful of making noise” = I have to wake up early, please don't make too much noise when you come in
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
He's literally just asking you to be mindful so that you're not noisy, because he needs sleep.
I think reading anything else into that is rather dramatic.
Just an "ok, will do!" would suffice here.
ushouldbe_working@reddit
He's just saying that after 11pm he comes home and you will likely hear him through the floors or walls. The other message is politely asking you to avoid making loud noise before 730am. These aren't enforceable. He is just letting you know that is his schedule so that you can make an informed decision about whether he will bother you or you will bother him. It's a courtesy.
For instance, If you like to drink smoothies in the morning for breakfast and you eat at 600am, then you will wake him up at 6am. Or, if you are a light sleeper and someone coming home at 11pm after you have gone to bed at 9pm would wake you up, this might not work for you.
nope-its@reddit
Just be quiet. Walk quietly that night and don’t slam doors or cabinets.
Mountain_Economist_8@reddit
if you’re moving in objects, suitcases, furniture etc. it might be nice to let him know what you’re bringing in in case that necessarily makes noise.
Landlords here can feel overly entitled and not feel like they owe you anything as their tenant. be polite but firm with things that are necessary.
LostInChrome@reddit
It means that your landlord will be asleep around 11pm. You may still come in at that time, but you should be quiet.
Tinkerfan57912@reddit
You are arriving in the middle of the night. He doesn’t want noise complaints. Be a quiet as you can when you come in.
lwsquared@reddit
I agree with all the above commenters. In English, "be mindful" in this context means to be respectful or considerate about your noise level. It doesn't mean you need to arrive the next day.
dotdedo@reddit
He wants you to not basically throw a party at night. Just don't slam the door, don't stomp around the house, don't start meal prepping and slaming cabinet doors.
Hes basically just saying "Understood, but please just be quiet when you arrive tonight as I will be asleep"
CeeCee123456789@reddit
It means don't do anything super loud like turn on loud music or run a loud blender or something when you arrive.
You can still come as planned, just be mindful of a shared space.
ChaosTorpedo@reddit
He’s asking you to be mindful of the amount of noise you may make, and keep the noise to a minimum. He needs to wake up early in the morning, so he will be asleep when you arrive at 11pm.
BaakCoi@reddit
He just wants you to be as quiet as possible. He told you when he will be waking up so you understand that he will probably be asleep when you arrive
BigPapaJava@reddit
I think it simply means that he’ll already be in bed when you arrive because he has to be up early in the morning, so he’s asking you to please try to be quiet.
blessedbymortarion@reddit
He’s asking you to be quiet because he is waking up early.
If you are loud when you arrive he will probably be annoyed.
“Okay, sounds good. I will mindful to not make noise” or something like that would be a fine response.
No_Report_4781@reddit
He is asking you to not make much noise when you arrive, because he has to wake up at 7:30 in the morning
Master_Spinach_2294@reddit
Your landlord is concerned you will disrupt his sleep with noise when you return. Just assure him you will be mindful of being quiet.
Zealousideal_Cod5214@reddit
He's just telling you to not make too much noise.
CalmRip@reddit
That means "Please take care to be as quiet as possible when you arrive."
Sarollas@reddit
He is just asking you to attempt to keep the noise to a minimum as he will be attempting to sleep when you arrive.
OneNerdyLesbian@reddit
He's asking you to be quiet because he'll be asleep when you arrive.
emmasdad01@reddit
He just asking you to keep relatively quiet.