What’s your favourite mondegreen in any song?

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Holska@reddit

Soulja Boy’s Kiss Me Thru The Phone - “i just wanna kiss you, selling the Big Issue”. I heard it like that the first time I heard the song, and now I can’t think of anything else

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Icy-Hippopotenuse@reddit

Grim poodle basher on the 45… (Brimful if Asher)

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roysustang@reddit (OP)

this was one of those songs where i listened religiously to it as a kid and knew literally none of the lyrics. didn’t have the slightest clue what it was about for years

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alanaisalive@reddit

For me it's a tie between "Dancing Queen, peel the beef from the tangerine," and "It's not fair to deny me, of this cross-eyed bear that you gave to me."

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RiClious@reddit

My ABBA one was the start of 'Take A Chance On Me'.

To me it will always be 'Sticky Chairs'.

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GeordieAl@reddit

Take a chance on me is my ABBA one too… I used to think she was singing about a car.

If you change your mind. I’m the first in line. And the Austin’s free. Take a chance on me.

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RiClious@reddit

And the Austin’s free.

Sticky chairs on me.

;-)

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Responsible-Link5739@reddit

And then there's ABBA's "Take your teeth out,, tell me the truth...."

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RoseTintedDiatribe@reddit

HA you reminded me, my dad used to sing 'take your teeth out show me your guuuums'

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thekittysays@reddit

"Chicken Tikka tell me the truuuth" is my ABBA one

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Royal_Philosophy7767@reddit

🎶 Chicken tikka tell me what’s wroooong 🎵

French and Saunders had the same idea

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borednowflay@reddit

Mine is from super trouper - "when I called you last night from Tesco"

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ButteredReality@reddit

Not me, but an old housemate of mine thought "Chiquitita" was "Chicken tea, duck?".

She thought it was written from the perspective of a person from Yorkshire offering an oddly specific meal to someone else.

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Moomoocaboob@reddit

Flabbergasted it’s not a cross eyed bear!!

So I guess other than that one I can’t help “spaceman always wanted you to turn into a spaceman, intergalactic guy”

My daughter sang along to OutKast - Ms Jackson “I’m stuck in a taxi - ooo, I am for real”

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DW_555@reddit

My niece used to sing "dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth"

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IhaveaDoberman@reddit

"I have to celebrate you baby, I have to praise you like a shoe" Fat boy slim.

That's how I've heard it since I was five.

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Dodgely@reddit

"The lift goes up when we get on" - Where we belong by Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes

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LordBananaPants@reddit

Starman, wasted in the sky! He's like the common Jesus!

Starman, David Bowie.

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Auzurabla@reddit

Taylor Swift: "Starbucks lovers" instead of "list of ex-lovers" from blank space.

I had to look up the real lyrics to post here, apparently it's not uncommon!

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At middle school one year we did a carnival float. I don’t recall the theme but they had it pumping out Bohemian Rhapsody constantly, which I hadn’t heard before and was naturally terribly distorted by the PA. I was fascinated by the lyrics but couldn’t really hear them properly, and had to wait for parts to come back around again next playthrough. All this led me to guess that it included the line “Beelzebub has the devil for a sideboard, eeeee, oooh-eeeeee”, which I haven’t been able to unhear since.

I forgot about it pretty quickly once we arrived at the carnival route, however, where I had to focus on my attention on using my bucket to deflect the 2p pieces hurled at top speed towards my face by every child we passed.

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looooopedin@reddit

I'm a little man, and I'm also evil, I'm also into cats, I'm also into cats!

This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race

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Glittered_Fingers@reddit

This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race

A GODDAMN ARSE-FACE!

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LordBananaPants@reddit

I dye grass

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allgone79@reddit

Golden brown, texture like sun, lays me down with my mancheerums.

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HenryFromYorkshire@reddit

My love has got no money, he's got his trombolise.

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Salt_Specific_740@reddit

I too spent many years, into my adulthood, wondering about the trombolise.

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riotlady@reddit

Weirdly I never wondered about the trombolise, apparently my brain just decided it’s a tiny trombone and never considered it again

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badonkadonked@reddit

I assumed it was something similar, and him having no money wasn’t an issue because he could go busking with his trombolise

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Ok-Spell-8053@reddit

I always thought it was some sort of tambourine but I think your on to something with the trombone, its got to be that one! ..oh hang on now, never mind, Ive remembered hes not actually a musician.

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Kichai_C@reddit

I feel so validated right now!

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Total_Inflation_7898@reddit

I've been meaning to look up the meaning of strombolise, this thread has saved me a puzzling time on the internet.

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kiradax@reddit

What's the real lyric??

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SnooLobsters8265@reddit

He’s got his trampoline is the real lyric.

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HenryFromYorkshire@reddit

He's got his strong beliefs. It was quite a well known misheard lyric at the time. I can't remember the singer but I think the title was Freed From Desire. I assumed a trombolise was some sort of little trombone.

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FarneticoToro@reddit

Gala.

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whirler_girl@reddit

I thought it was "dungarees" for the longest time 😂

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heartpassenger@reddit

I worked at a company that only ever called this tune “Strombolise” when it was played on nights out. So they’d be posting insta stories with just “strombolise” as the caption, or asking “strombolise?” In group chats to mean “anyone want a drink?”. Bizarre.

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OkPsychology8161@reddit

concrete jungle wet dream tomato, there’s nothing you can’t do, new yooork ✨

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Krags@reddit

"I am human and I need to be ~~wrong~~, just like everybody else does"

How Soon Is Now? by The Smiths

It's actually loved instead of wrong afaik, but I like wrong there too.

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emimagique@reddit

I am the sun and the air...

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danjimian@reddit

The Police - "My poo hole aches, with every breath you take"

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Stephlington@reddit

Must be the reason why I’m king of my castle, must be the reason why I’m freeing my trestle.

Just assumed it was referencing a trestle table.

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emimagique@reddit

I don't know how well known The Pipettes are but in their song "pull shapes" I had to look up the lyrics because I couldn't hear anything but "there's a hot floppy forest just for you and me". Apparently it's really "there's a whole floor before us"

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Pedantichrist@reddit

I don’t know why a kid needs a knife, Got a feeling that something ain’t right, Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right.

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EllaSingsJazz@reddit

The Stranglers - Golden Brown, ‘Lays me down with my manchiron’ I sang that so confidently for years!

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spittingparasite@reddit

Can you describe a manchiron for us?

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SpaTowner@reddit

I dunno but Gordon Brown’s got one.

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schemmenti@reddit

Hamster, a dentist, hard porn, Steven seagull

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cubesnack@reddit

The fish master!

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catjellycat@reddit

I’ve written once but I have another which isn’t mine. I always remember the person who replied to one of these threads about really loving a Prodigy track to the point where they and their friends would run on the dance floor and have a great time miming ‘Take my picture!’ With their fingers clicking away on their imaginary cameras.

Yeah, someone eventually told them it was actually ‘Smack my bitch up’

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SpaTowner@reddit

Where they a their friends perhaps singing ‘Snap my picture’?

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Rhubarb-Eater@reddit

My husband doesn’t have English as a first language and growing up, they sang ABBA as ‘gimme gimme gimme, a ladder for Christmas’ - he still insists that’s what it says!

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SpaTowner@reddit

I hope that at some stage you have indeed given him a ladder for Christmas. If you haven’t, that’s next year sorted.

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Ambitious-Muscle-249@reddit

“The cross eyed bear that you gave to me, you, you oughta know”

Alanis Morissette

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SpaTowner@reddit

What’s the bear called Gladly?

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rhyithan@reddit

When i was a kid i used to hear “feed the world” as “beaver world”. So thats what my family sings whenever it pops up

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Simbooptendo@reddit

I hear "Feeeverrr, wooooah!"

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Historical_Heron4801@reddit

Hot dog, jump and fuck, I love cookies

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roysustang@reddit (OP)

I remember being so pissed off when I looked up the lyrics to this and it actually WAS hot dog… I thought surely I was mishearing it. On a side note, Prefab Sprout was a band that I absolutely refused to believe existed for a while, because my dad used to make up so many band names that I assumed that this couldn’t possibly be anything other than another one that he’d invented when he mentioned it to us. Great song though!

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hyper-casual@reddit

Before my ADHD meds kick in and after they wear off I'll have the worst songs stuck in my head for no reason.

It was this song for about a week recently and I was singing it and my partner refused to believe it was the real lyrics.

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Simbooptendo@reddit

She's So Lovely / Shit all over Lee

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BlackJackKetchum@reddit

A friend’s uncle thought ‘Ghostbusters’ was ‘Those Bastards’, and as such would not suffer it to be played in his house.

As a small, the only sense I could make of ‘Kumbaya’ was ‘comb my arm, my lord’.

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BigDsLittleD@reddit

Hurt - NIN and/or Johnny Cash.

Always wondered about his Swedish Friend.

And an Oldie, Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers.

I always, always hear it as "Secret Asian Man"

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cheandbis@reddit

"I can't believe you kiss your carving knife" - That Don't Impress Me Much, Shania Twain

I worked with a guy who thought the song "Come on Eileen" was about Muhammad Ali and it was "Come on Ali".

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jdsuperman@reddit

"I can't believe you kiss your carving knife" - That Don't Impress Me Much, Shania Twain

I take it you've heard Peter Kay's version of that line?

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soozdreamz@reddit

I have, and it made me genuinely wet myself laughing because that’s what I ACTUALLY thought it was when I first heard it! I was 13 when the song came out and was flabbergasted that they played it at the school disco because of the “rude lyrics”!

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Kangaroo197@reddit

I can't hear it any other way now.

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spittingparasite@reddit

You in that dress My thoughts I confess Verge on dirty

I can totally see why anyone would think it was about Muhammad Ali.

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GeggingIn@reddit

🎵Snookerydoo, snookerydoo, snookerydoo tonight. Big break. 🎵

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DivePotato@reddit

Snookering you, snookering you tonight. Big Break.

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bnliz@reddit

That Jason Waterfalls needs to be careful

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horrible_goose_@reddit

"Every night they'd be dressed to kill, down at Dino's bar in Rhyl"

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AtebYngNghymraeg@reddit

"but you'll never ever fight a whale" - Nik Kershaw, the Riddle.

It's actually "but he'll never, ever fight over you".

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spittingparasite@reddit

Do you think it was because of the Vitalite advert?

Wake up in the morning wanting some breakfast What am I gonna spread on my toast?

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EruditeKetchup@reddit

Oh, Oh oh oh

Me ears are alight

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roysustang@reddit (OP)

God I love The Riddle. I used to purposefully mishear it because I was obsessed with it when I was about 14 at the same point I was obsessed with a show involving a character called Aren…. so it was an old man of Aren for me. Completely nonsensical lyrics but the tune is so good it makes up for it.

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Embarrassed-Return86@reddit

*we'll

But that's fair, though, it's not like the lyrics to The Riddle make any sense anyway

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Kitty-Gecko@reddit

Thought cotton eye Joe was cockney Joe. I mean what even is a cotton eye??

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No_Medium_648@reddit

'we' re having meatballs'- big fun by inner city.

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spittingparasite@reddit

Rocking, rolling Roo Rocking, rolling Roo They don't mean a thing when I compare them next to you

I thought Meatloaf was singing about an exciting time in Australia.

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Tight-Principle-743@reddit

From NY state of mind - Into New York,Concrete Jungle with tinned tomatoes.

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darkotics@reddit

We always go for concrete jungle wet dream tomato, haha.

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No_Application_8698@reddit

My husband’s version is ‘concrete jungle, wet dreams, and makeup’

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Sad_Cardiologist5388@reddit

I am the lord of the dance settee.

Its a settee just for dancing

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upsidedowncreature@reddit

Are you Richard Herring?

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Necro_Badger@reddit

"I'm gonna hit the highway like a battery hen on a silver black phantom bike" - Meatloaf, Bat out of Hell

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catjellycat@reddit

Ann Marie had a song where I was certain she was saying “Shower the horse- I’m done!”

Believing it to be a powerful metaphor about a horse race (a love affair) being finished and the horse despite trying his best and getting sweaty had lost and just needed to be showered off, I merrily sang along.

Turns out it was ‘Ciao, adios, I’m done’ which maybe makes more sense but is less poetic.

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jesuseatsbees@reddit

Shower the horse is my favourite one! My kids refuse to believe it doesn’t say that.

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QueenSashimi@reddit

"I'm blue and I believe I will die in Aberdeen, I will die in Aberdeen, I will die"

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jdsuperman@reddit

I met someone who thought it was "I'm blue, if I were green I would die"

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fingertipnipples@reddit

That's what I thought it was as a kid and it made perfect sense to me.

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jdsuperman@reddit

I suppose it does make sense, although it's a bit drastic

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kiradax@reddit

Felt that fr ☠️

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ScaredMight712@reddit

"Another turnip, on a fork stuck in the road"

-Good Riddance, Green Day

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bife_de_lomo@reddit

In Placebo's Every You Every Me:

"No other bauxite shoes for you"

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riotlady@reddit

Mine was “words like are werewolves, they wound sometimes” in Turn Back Time. Made perfect sense to 6 year old me!

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takesthebiscuit@reddit

Money for nothing and your cheques for free made no sense to me at like 5 years old

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JeffSergeant@reddit

Alf Garnett is an internet classic, and still my favourite.

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spinningdice@reddit

My mum sold plants and flowers so I had "Gimme the Fuschia" by meatloaf.

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flowersfromjupiter@reddit

If you like making love at midnight In the gloom of a cave

From the Pina colada song. It's actually in the dunes of the cape, which I'm not sure actually makes any more sense.

And for years and years I thought the line 'objection overruled' in All Rise by Blue was 'objection on the roof'.

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ButteredReality@reddit

Probably an obscure one (that everyone will have either never heard of, or have completely forgotten about for 20 years), but "Powerless (say what you want)" by Nelly Furtado:

"Paint my face in your magazines, make it look wider than it seems"

The actual lyric:

"Paint my face in your magazines, make it look whiter than it seems"

Which seems really fucking obvious in hindsight.

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marsarefromspiders@reddit

I'm Just a poor boy boy, nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family, Spare him his life from his pork sausages

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stevenjameshyde@reddit

Near, far, wherever you are / I believe that the hot dogs go on

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Glittered_Fingers@reddit

"Hold me close, I'm trying to dance here" in a song that is actually called Tiny Dancer.

Big up all my fellow elder millennials, who, like me, had to guess at some lyrics and just roll with the mondegreens!

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EruditeKetchup@reddit

Here in the States it's more common to hear "hold me closer, Tony Danza"

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Glittered_Fingers@reddit

Hello from England! I used to wonder for YEARS what your 'Danserly light' was. I figured an American kind of street lamp :)

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mothaducka@reddit

You're gonna go far kid by the offspring. Always hear "Clever alibis, lord of the flies" as "Clever alibis, load up on pies" 😆

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Visby@reddit

"There'll be days like this, my marmoset" (marmoset, marmoset) 🎶

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NortonBurns@reddit

Stone Roses - I Wanna be a Dog.

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holytriplem@reddit

I don't have to smell your hole

It's already in me

I don't have to smell your hole

It's already in me

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holytriplem@reddit

I wanna be a DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR

You're a door, mate

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be a door

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SequinSquirrel@reddit

Maroon 5 - Sugar. "When I'm without you, I'm soaked in wee (something weak)"

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Fabulous_Knowledge10@reddit

I asked my dad what "by the donzerley light" meant after hearing the American national anthem.

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bodelia@reddit

“I wanna die” for “oh what a night!”

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mcglash@reddit

Poppadom bridge

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Rich6-0-6@reddit

I'd rather take a bath with Ainsley Harriot

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jdsuperman@reddit

Fuck me... that is extraordinarily good. I've been a Toto fan for a long time, so I've heard that song many many times... and now I'll never be able to unhear that line.

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hairychris88@reddit

I always thought that Annie Lennox was talking to a ninja.

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hrtlssromantic@reddit

Does Miss Selfridge eat perfume. - Placebo, Nancy Boy.

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slimboyslim9@reddit

Placebo songs are full of them! I had no idea what he was singing or how rude it was as a teenager.

Got them using my hands, she’s universal?

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Mundane_Pea4296@reddit

"Irelands industry, that is what we are"

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Johnnyfootwrinkle@reddit

Grandads Going To Hell - Guns N' Roses. It's actually 'Right Next Door To Hel'l but ever since a freind misheard it I can't not hear it.

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Jervis_Mantlepiece@reddit

Apologies to Spanish people here, but for literal decades I was convinced that Madonna sang 'last night I dreamt of some dago...'

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cayosonia@reddit

If you're fond of sand dunes and salty air, quaint little piglets here and there - Groove Armada

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MrHlk2020@reddit

The Eurythmics. "I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for pumpkins".

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username_not_clear@reddit

I love the audio clip kicking around the internet of a phone call to a request show on Brazilian (?) Radio where the chap asked for "reebok or the nike", when he meant "rhythm of the night". Kudos to the DJ for knowing what he meant!

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roysustang@reddit (OP)

¡Esos son Reebok o son Nike! One of my favourite videos on the internet, makes me laugh every time.

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EruditeKetchup@reddit

"hola, pingüino Rodríguez" = Hold on, think we're gonna make it (Christopher Cross)

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calpolqween@reddit

Wiley - balls in a heatwave

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FiveYardFaded@reddit

Excuse me, while I kiss this guy!

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Wanita_1972@reddit

Following that episode of 8 out of 10 Cats I can’t listen to Song 2 by Blur without feeling like a fig roll. RIP Sean Lock.

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kateykatey@reddit

“Feed the World” was “beano world” - everyone just got really excited about comics at Christmas time, made sense to me 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

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upadownpipe@reddit

Drink and Jack-off by myself There's Jews in texas, I can tell

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jilljd38@reddit

Gary the douche for Carry the news , all the young dudes , my son has sang is at that since he was little , also one hump black Betty, instead of whoaa black betty , he's 25 now still can't sing the right words

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MelodicAd2213@reddit

Excuse me while I kiss this guy - purple haze

Because you’ve got to make this like Liverpool - Black Celebration

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kiradax@reddit

Stone roses. I wanna be a dog. Every time <3

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Austen_Tasseltine@reddit

I’m gonna hit the highway like a battering ram, on a Cilla Black phantom bike.

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EllaSingsJazz@reddit

Same!

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two_beards@reddit

Don't go Jason Waterfalls.

Have you ever seen Lorraine?

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grae3333@reddit

Release my wee da was popular in glasgow at Christmas there

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Competitive_Pen7192@reddit

For years I thought the Clash sung I fought the LORD and the LORD won. I assumed they were a religious band...

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Embarrassed-Return86@reddit

"Ah, Hell with thinner walls"

(Rush, 2112 - actual lyrics are the much crapper "are held within our walls" but I like my version better)

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chez2202@reddit

This one doesn’t really fit the question but I had to throw it in here anyway.

A radio presenter working here in the UK was about to play Mystify by INXS and announced it as My Stiffy.

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gothicmango@reddit

Dirty deeds

Done with sheep!

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Fancy-Licker-66UK@reddit

Obviously everyone knows Desmond Decker’s The ears are alight!🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿😎

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ThePineappleSeahorse@reddit

I have so many as I have a tendency to mishear lyrics due to an auditory processing problem but one that I struggle to hear the real lyrics is Neil Diamond singing about The Reverend Blue Jeans.

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migrainedujour@reddit

When I was a student in the 1990s, I heard the Rolling Stones’ ‘Heartbreaker (Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo)’ and was convinced that somehow Mick Jagger in the ‘70s was singing about the global mobile telecoms provider when he sand, “You heartbreaker, with your Vodafone - I’m gonna tear your world apart.’

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FatTabby@reddit

My mum heard Russian hedgehog instead of rushing headlong when listening to Headlong by Queen. It's been well over twenty years and my brain refuses to process it any other way.

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Doc_Dish@reddit

Purple Haze, by Jimi Hendrix: "'scuse me while I kiss this guy"

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Violet351@reddit

The one about the trombolese

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UKTonyK@reddit

Making Love in a Femidom - We are Family - Sister Sledge

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Ok-Statement-2578@reddit

Metallica cover of Die, die my darling. I always hear "no fried tomatoes baby" instead of "don't cry to me of baby"

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stinkyswife@reddit

You're the best, for now

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roysustang@reddit (OP)

It’s an absolute earworm from when I was little. Even funnier with the whole context of the lyrics as talking about some big sort of achievement…. ‘to injure swans, that would be enough’.

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callum__h28@reddit

A Rubber Mexican Monkey every time Get Lucky - Daft Punk comes on within a mile radius of me

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3_box@reddit

It's raining again by supertramp.... When it gets to "come on you little fighter" as a kid I swore blind it said "come on you little spider"

It was and will always be the spider song 🤣

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possibly_sentient@reddit

If I only could, I'd make a deal with God

To get into small hard places

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