Made a bread thingajamig. Never baked before. Didn't think i should use a recipe
Posted by pawelnougoed@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 69 comments
The recipe for it was
80 grams of vitamin meal shake choco flavor
300ml coconut milk
Unknown amount of flour
Unknown amount of water
Unknown amount of date syrup
2 sachets of yeast
Some amount of stevia from when I was intending it to be a chocolate milk drink
Let it rise by putting in a bowl of hot water next to it ik the oven.
Baked at unknown temperature (left in oven while it was heating up to 200C, then turned it off and used residual heat, twice for the bigger pan)
Next time I'll follow a recipe probably but this was really really fun!
BJntheRV@reddit
How's it taste?
Impossible_Ad4789@reddit
You know even if you dont want to use recipes you should check for ratios of the "active" ingredients, they are usually written on the packaging. Eye balling backing soda or yeast gets harder the more you use and are usually the easiest point to completely fuck up. 2 sachets of yeast would imply around 1kg of flour. \^ \^
pawelnougoed@reddit (OP)
I thought i messed up by adding the yeast directly to the dough so i did it again but first... Activating it?
Waagtod@reddit
Baking is a precise formula, unless you are a master at it, use a recipe. How did it taste, it sounds awful?
pawelnougoed@reddit (OP)
It tasted pretty good. Slightly chocolate flavor. Too dry on its own, but very good with butter.
xiaoalexy@reddit
i can't imagine having this confidence but good for you
De-railled@reddit
Rofl, I tried to do this when I was a kid.
me: Mom, I'm baking a suprise cake for your bday!!
Mom: What recipe are you using.
Me: Recipe?? I just put flour, the small flour (baking powder), eggs and milk into machine and mix....like you do...
Mom: You didn't use a recipe from my book??
Me: ....I can't read yet....
*Mom looks at dad that is "supervising" me *
Dad: She (me) said she knows what she is doing, and I don't know how to bake...I just need to help her with adult stuff like stove and knives.
Me: Yep. stoves hot! knives sharp!
*Mom just leaves*
60 mins later.
Somehow, I ended up with something, not sure how edible it was....but I was proud. lol
Occidentally20@reddit
Did your dad know you were going to obviously mess it up and he just played along, or was he there secretly hoping he'd accidentally raised a prodigal baker that was going to take the world by storm, only to have the dream crushed when the oven door opened?
whisky_biscuit@reddit
Lmao I've seen both so I'd not be surprised.
Honestly I'm not sure why more parents don't help their kids that show interest in cooking how to make something, box cake is incredibly easy to do! I used to also make pudding pie with my stepson.
Unfortunately I've also come to realize so many adults cannot even make a boxed cake mix so the best they can do is supervise while their kid "attempts to bake" lol.
It's too bad because there are also plenty of very easy and informative YouTube shows that even kids can follow along with!
De-railled@reddit
I wish box mixes were a thing when I was growing up.
My mom did a lot of baking for school "bake sales".
Cheap_Papaya_2938@reddit
They have been a thing for decades! When were you born?
De-railled@reddit
Geriatric millennial, dial-up, DOS computers, cellphones.
But it's more about where and circustances.
South Africa, with working class parents.
3rd world and developing so there was limitations on stuff we got imported.
And box mixes were considered more of a luxury thing for "rich women who couldn't bake" back then, plus they weren't even that good back then.
Betty crocker was a thing, but they were very expensive considering the size of the cakes were tiny....and they cost like 5 times the price of the ingredients.
Plus when the afrikaans aunties baked, they REALLY baked!! Like huge cakes and desserts...that box mixes could never compete against. We also had more stahm's back then, so time wasn't an issue.
Box mixes just weren't popular and weren't as available as they are today to the "general working class".
It's changed a lot now, but they weren't really a thing were I was growing up.
Occidentally20@reddit
I don't like kids at all and will never have any, but even I have had the joy of cooking with a child while looking after them.
Gave her a few simple tasks, one or two inconsequential decisions to make and she loved it. We made chicken casserole and halfway through she asked if it was going to turn into pizza soon.
De-railled@reddit
ROFL. I still don't have any idea what either of them was thinking... I would not have let a kid do that.
Maybe they were just letting me experiment and explore.
I will say Mom already taught me the "easy pancake" batter (1:1:1 recipe), so I was stupid confident....cause
"A cake can't be much harder, right?"
"It's the same ingredients, right?"
Plus, my mom baked a lot with me, and I got my dad stubborn genes.
Maybe dad just went along with it cause I was safe and having fun.
It's not like I was 100% clueless, at least I knew the ingredients...lol
Mom, probably just didn't want to deal with it and since it was her bday my dad would handle the cleanup and aftermath.
Occidentally20@reddit
I'm glad they let you get on with it :)
And I agree with your theory - a cake is definitely just a 3D pancake.
Ambzillius@reddit
Me and my friend made cupcakes when we were younger for her family - picked up the wrong flour and they were awful. Bless her family for pretending they tasted good though to spare our feelings š¤£
PSA don't use Gram Flour for cakes - it's meant to be used in savory things like Pakora and Bhajis š¬
thisoneagain@reddit
I shouted gleefully when I got to "the small flour".
Sunshine030209@reddit
Baking powder will forever be "the small flour" in my head, because that is just too darn cute!
Pytheastic@reddit
Good lord this website really is like facebook
YourBlanket@reddit
ruh roh scoobs we have a female! Act calm act calm play hard to get
Checks profile, fires up ChatGPT for a funny one liner.
Sees 12k submissions in 3 years. I canāt fix her, Iām not that guy
whisky_biscuit@reddit
Uhhhhhhhh.....what?
r/lostredditors
empatheticsocialist1@reddit
De-railled@reddit
DW, There are no females on the internet. You are safe.
If you need Chatgpt to try and rizz, you are too young for me anyways.
Nothing to fix here. Just move along, kiddo,
whisky_biscuit@reddit
Lmaooo I'm forever calling baking powder "the small flour" š
xiaoalexy@reddit
your dad had A LOT of faith in kid you lol
De-railled@reddit
Just making sure I don't kill myself or burn the house down. lol.
pawelnougoed@reddit (OP)
And it's a lovely memory!
la_descente@reddit
They should try to build a car next! No need for instructions, just wing it
curseblock@reddit
I know I'm stunned but in an ambivalent way š I can't imagine the creative things OP has done prior to this. I'm sure some of the gambles have paid off well.
scumsynthesizer@reddit
This feels a lot like a slightly more matured version of making potions as a little kid with completely random crap from your backyard or bathroom or something, and honestly? I'm down for it, this does look kinda fun. It's even bubbling over like a witch's cauldron. I'm so curious how the taste and texture of that thing is
pawelnougoed@reddit (OP)
I did it in three different baking sheets. The big one, the one who bubbled over, i did twice. That one feels like a crumbly cookie. The one in the smaller, the circular one, feels like pumpernickel bread. Tastes vaguely of chocolate.
Electronic_House2272@reddit
Baking requires exact measurements and not instict
Yellamine@reddit
It donāt
ObscureEnchantment@reddit
It does thoā¦ itās literal chemistry.
Yellamine@reddit
You can eyeball it bru
ObscureEnchantment@reddit
Iām not going to argue with a troll after this. You need to have knowledge about how each ingredient reacts to make sure the measurements give you the rise and texture you want. If you want to continue making sub-par baked goods then enjoy eyeballing. I prefer to cook things by following ingredient measurements so I can ensure Iām actually eating and enjoying the thing I cooked and not something else.
Electronic_House2272@reddit
That's truek
zoeisboredd@reddit
it do
Yellamine@reddit
Nāt
Electronic_House2272@reddit
It does. Ingredients like yeast, baking powder and baking soda require precise proportions to produce the correct amount of gas for a proper rise. Baking is basically science
Yellamine@reddit
You can eyeball it bru
SparklyLeo_@reddit
I mean sure, but recipes had to start somewhere right? I highly doubt all our baking recipes come from scientists. But also daaaang sheās just having some fun experimenting. Let the girl live. Itās r/Shittyfoodporn after all
Jesters_@reddit
Eh, depends. With a little experience you can eyeball a basic bread/dough or similar. I only measure the water when I make pizza dough so I know I'll have enough per portion but even that I could eyeball
grumdale@reddit
"Didn't think..." k that's enough, sentence can end there.
thejustducky1@reddit
I'm just completely baffled by this logic -- why did you think you shouldn't use a recipe if you've never baked before?
NhylX@reddit
I think you've created a new recipe for artificial cork.
pocketMagician@reddit
Takes a certain kind of person to think they're more clever than a recipe.
SparklyLeo_@reddit
Ffs. She was just having fun.
pocketMagician@reddit
Ffs. So am I on my fun sub about people with cooking problems.
SparklyLeo_@reddit
Um. What?
ColdPorkChop@reddit
Think of baking as a tree and recipes as the branches, leafs and fruits.....Got that image? Good you made none of those Chemistry is the roots and what you got here is the trunk. This here and I mean it in a nice way is the "Concept of a baked good" made physical. I truly applaud your capacity to wing it.
_Nychthemeron@reddit
ā¼ļøOh no. Oh shit. š«£ Ā«sees last pictureĀ» Ohhh shit.
Daddysjuice@reddit
The last photo absolutely sent me.
Honestly great effort for just having a go.
RipePeach@reddit
Lmao that last shot
Traizork@reddit
Bro baked cork. I'd still try it tho, it seems weirdly pleasing to me.
yelgaws@reddit
I thought I was on a gardening sub and this was a puck of coco coir for a second
Wobblepaws@reddit
do you have a waffle iron? it's super fun to experiment with a waffles, you can put pretty much any bready things in there, like cake mix, muffin mix, pizza dough, scrambled eggs with veggies, sausage etc... and you get multiple tries too, if it's weird :)
RaisedSteaks@reddit
Yum, loaf!
Flesh_Trombone@reddit
Op trying to reinvent baking.
chumpy551@reddit
It looks like food
JCarnacki@reddit
Bake it again so it's nice and hard and you have Dwarven Bread.
fullmoonlovergirl@reddit
the pot in the over is hilarious
chocalicorn@reddit
Cooking is art, baking is scienceā¦ granted we learned that science by experimenting and trying things. Keep at it, maybe youāll discover something new entirely
LatterParty182@reddit
i want to try that one
pawelnougoed@reddit (OP)
It's surprisingly good with a little butter on it. Slightly sweet. Already ate one lol.
poweredbynikeair@reddit
Woah
caelum_daemon@reddit
I guess you learned already, but baking is pure chemistry. Everything is in a recipe for a reason hahaha
pawelnougoed@reddit (OP)
For sure! I'm honestly surprised it came out edible at all! But it was loads of fun. I think I'll try making something more serious at some point.
caelum_daemon@reddit
It's hella fun! Keep going, this was an impressive result. Once you have the science of it down the experiments get better