What is the process for being signed off by your GP?

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Natsumi_Kokoro@reddit

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I just wanted to say have you tried getting a stool for the shower. Like a plastic step stool. Sit and just give this a go for days when you need to bathe in some way. It's fine to be gentle on yourself. As well as getting signed off see if the GP can tweak or change your meds. Rest. Recuperate. These hard days will pass.

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Strong_Presence_2408@reddit

I've been where you are. I'd recommend buying some books specifically related to CBT techniques. Depression/anxiety is often driven by learned incorrect thinking styles. One thing that I found GPs never tell you is - to unlearn the negative thought patterns, we have embedded in our psyche, you must take a long term commitment to training your brain daily. Rewire it at source. The Social Anxiety Institute has some incredible learning resources structured for the repetitive training you can do from home to retrain Automatic Negative Thoughts specifically for anxiety and depression. Worth getting the resources if you can. Best of luck!

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bunnyswan@reddit

You know how to get signed off. Now does your work have an rap so you can get some mental health support?

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Buddy-Matt@reddit

2.5 days off in 12 months?

I hope you mean 2.5 days sick leave, and not 2.5 days total??

2.5 days sick leave is fine, nothing to sweat. But if you've literally only had 2.5 off including annual leave, that's horrifically illegal. Even if you're the sort of person who never wants to use holiday, and ive met many of them, your employer has a duty of care to ensure you take your statutory leave. Non wonder you're burnt out.

Self certify for 5 days. If your employer fires you over it youve got reasonable grounds to fight, even under the 2 year rule, as retaliatory firings are considered automatically unfair.

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slothliketendencies@reddit

Trust me if you've been working whilst not showering for 9 days they know something is wrong and probably smell you before they see you. Before you trigger some sort of welfare check at work, go to the gp and say 'i need signing off' that's it.

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Lightworker_2024@reddit

Could be b12 deficiency. Look into it x

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crooked_magpie@reddit

Yeah and normally GPs are pretty good. Especially younger ones aka millennial and under. Found they’re more compassionate. I got signed off when pregnant as work kept increasing the pressure.

And she just said no, not having it. They should be respectful, I’ll sign you off a week, if you want longer, phone up and I’ll put a new note on saying you’re not better yet. She didn’t actually write stress down as the reason for me as I had another illness at the time. So just put that down.

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

I have diagnosed depression and I’m on anti depressants. It was really upsetting Monday actually bc I’ve done this whole thing about struggling and telling a GP so many times and it feels all I do is get kicked around the cycle of medication alterations and therapy. It’s not their fault though I understand the system is stretched

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Routine-Wear-8894@reddit

This is great you’re getting your bloods done. Some symptoms to me also sound like undiagnosed ADHD, which may be something to look into

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loves-science@reddit

Sadly the queue in my area is 5 years for a diagnosis- mad. I hope your area is better.

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greennylon@reddit

That's exactly what I was thinking

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Dutch_Slim@reddit

Turn your location off.

Self-cert a week of sick leave, you can have 7 days without needing a fit note from your doctor

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Baynonymous@reddit

People have answered about being signed off but I'd just like to add how unusual it is for your parents to have your location when you're an adult and moved out. Especially as you think they'll know you're off work which means they check on it, and it's not just there for emergencies. Are they controlling of you in other ways too?

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

They check it a lot. They mean well but yes id say they are a bit controlling.

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Mr2277@reddit

Turn off location sharing. You are an adult, take control of your own life brother.

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ealwhale@reddit

Therapy to address this might also be a good idea. A therapist will be able to help you with the pressure you’re under and boundaries

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Nishwishes@reddit

I just want to add to this incase OP is still reading or for anyone else who might need this kind of insight - please don't be afraid to 'shop' for the right therapist.

Firstly, people who aren't used to seeking that kind of help can sink far too much time into a therapist they don't mesh with or who is harmful because they think seeking one who responds 'right' is manipulative. But most importantly a LOT of counsellors and therapists are really bad at treating parents with complex family dynamics. Many of them will tell you to just endure outright, even physical and violent abuse, because you 'only have one mum and dad', 'deep down, they love you' etc. It's really harmful. They'd tell you to get out and contact the police if it was a friend and partner, but the societal view on family still sways a lot of therapists. I've experienced this for myself. My family counseller basically made the abuse worse long term.

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Current_Fly9337@reddit

I couldn’t even imagine dealing with that on top of anxiety/depression. You really do need to put your foot down and advise your parents that you are not a child and you do not have to declare where you are.

I’ve been signed off for stress related anxiety before, I’m now medicated and coping a lot better. Don’t put more pressure on yourself worrying about work, you don’t need a sick note for a week off work (assuming you work a 5 day week). Just take it off, rest and see how you feel towards the end of the week and judge if you need more time.

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anomalous_cowherd@reddit

I don't think super controlling parents are on top of the anxiety/depression, I'd suspect they are a large part of the cause of it.

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Current_Fly9337@reddit

Yeah good point. It’s bad enough feeling the judgement of time of from colleagues but to get it from your parents too must be very stressful

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Paul-Ramsden@reddit

You need to take back control and stop then from being able to track you.

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Ganondaddydorf@reddit

This. That will likely be a contributing factor, even if they do mean well. Hard boundaries are necessary with controlling people.

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crutlefish@reddit

It's a lot controlling, and it isn't normal.

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Interesting-Tie6783@reddit

Your parents are part of the problem, sorry dude. You need to set healthy boundaries with them. As an adult your parents should definitely not be regularly checking your location, or frankly even slightly involved in your professional life (unless you’re genuinely sabotaging yourself, which you’re not).

You’re doing the right thing by seeking help, but it’s time to be an adult and tell your parents to politely back off.

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Hypohamish@reddit

Then the first improvement for your mental health is to cut this off. They don't need to know your location at all times.

There are plenty of services you can enable on your phone that mean it can send your location IF there is an emergency, not 24/7 tracking you.

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Squeak_Stormborn@reddit

This is not good for your mental health. You need freedom and autonomy as an adult.

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Veenkoira00@reddit

More than a bit ! This is not healthy and the pressure experienced by you may contribute to your illness. To regain health, you need treatment and support – not control. Do start with the GP.

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meltymcface@reddit

This is not OK. You’re an adult and entitled to some peace and privacy.

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frozzyfroz0404@reddit

Firstly you need to try and place some boundaries as soon as u can - this will help in the long run. If they do question your whereabouts just tell them you’ve taken annual leave but aren’t going abroad. Or make something up about your boss being nice and giving everyone time off - it’s clear them being controlling is affecting you!!

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isabelleisback@reddit

It's obvious why they maintain this position in their life.

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

They’ve been like this before I had mental health issues. My eating disorder is linked to years of my parents being controlling about my weight and food I ate, as said by more than a few therapists when I’ve had CBT. I understand your point but it’s not like this is new

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Baynonymous@reddit

Is it? Assuming you're suggesting it's because of OP's mental health, then the parents aren't aware of the challenges. And I'd argue the control would exacerbate it. I mean, OP is already worried about taking time off work to recover because their parents will know.

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Weird_Fun1493@reddit

Your health is the most important but instead of calling in sick what about annual leave for a week because it could be burnout working too much

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BritishPistol@reddit

I had a phone appointment with my GP, explained I was stressed out of my mind for x y z reason in my personal life, but that work was also contributing and they straight up offered to sign me off work.

The key is to take that time to get your life in order and de-stress and not let it roll on for weeks and then months.

Also, only 2.5 days off in 12 months! Could you book some annual leave?

Good luck!

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

Sorry I mean off sick. I’ve booked annual leave (I book it in advance - I have family holidays and other commitments later this year). I’ve got 16 days left but I’m just worried about using it as it needs to last till next May

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Tattycakes@reddit

Do you know what your company sick policy is? It might be reassuring to get a copy and see what their trigger points are, number of absences and number of days in total, you sound like you’re way under the radar to me with just 3 days!

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Sweet-Economics-5553@reddit

Using 4 days of holiday per year to have a 'mental health day' every 3 months works really well at my organisation.

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BritishPistol@reddit

That makes more sense, phew. You can absolutely book a couple of days here or there to rest and recover btw.

Does your company allow you to buy extra annual leave days? It might be worth looking into for the next year so you can keep a couple extra days you know are just for you to relax.

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fergie_89@reddit

Call them, basic answer to reception say "urgent and private will not discuss"

Usually gets you either seen asap or called when they're on their admin break. I got signed off in 2023 and didn't see them just called, got a call back and a sick note was provided. I do have mental health history though. My friend recently got signed off for 2 weeks (they ask the length of time or did) so this is still relevant to our area.

Without history likely need to go in but do please call your doc.

For the showering, can you try a bath? Hot water, relaxing, some bubbles in there. It really helped me.

My husband washes every day and I do now too but I have a long shower or a relaxing bath then necessity shower. I am a woman with long AF hair.

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

I’m just worried as I saw them Monday and nothing was done. They are aware of my mental health history - it’s documented going back almost 10 years. Sorry I know it’s probably silly but I get really anxious about it all and being seen as not trying hard enough to get through it yknow?

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fergie_89@reddit

Fellow chronic anxiety person here Did you ask?

Ask to be signed off for a month (or two weeks), depending on your workplace. Mine gives me 6 months paid but it was my last role I signed off sick from and theirs was a month.

Don't worry about it. I overthink and over question too.

Go back to them and ask to be signed off. You need the break you have a very demanding job mate so kudos to you.

Work will go on and once you go back refreshed so will you.

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

I didn’t ask to be signed off - stupid but mainly because I spoke to my parents before the appointment and they said it would be the worst thing possible to be signed off etc. I just also didn’t want the GP thinking I was trying to be lazy. I know it’s stupid.

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theinadequategatsby@reddit

You need to ask, lovely. I got signed off when my depression got so bad I ended up sobbing to my GP talking about killing myself, and he even asked whether I needed a 'less mental health reason' in case work was going to get on my case. It's not the worst thing, it is slightly awkward to have the conversation, but it actually ended up making my working conditions better in the end afterwards. Good luck x

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fergie_89@reddit

Nothing is stupid. People are but that's about it.

Speak to your gp and get signed off. You clearly and really need A BREAK.

I don't have parents anymore and I'm only early 30s but even my husband would support. MH break if I needed one, so would our cat.

Call up, ask for GP or call back and get that note. You're burnt out and need a break mate. Your work will support It.

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slippery-pineapple@reddit

You can self cert for 7 days, you can obviously also take AL which is sort of designed to stop you burning out in the first place, but obviously sometimes sick leave is more appropriate.

Either way, I think you should ring your GP and say everything you have here, you need some help more than just a week off work

I've recently been through it and the GP was very understanding. Most GPs you can now type out your medical issues on their website if talking to the receptionist is too much right now, the GP will probably want to call you back and talk through some options - they might ask you to come in but in my experience they would rather do it over the phone if they can

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

I went to my GP Monday and explained how tired and stuff I was, but she basically said I don’t meet the threshold for immediate risk and therefore nothing can be done. I didn’t mention about being signed off as I didn’t want her to think that’s what I was angling for (I just want to feel better in general, I’m so tired of feeling like shit). The services here are pretty terrible, I’ve been through the hoops for so long and I am just so tired and defeated by it

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Intelligent-SoupGS88@reddit

Did you just tell the GP you are tired all the time? Did you discuss the mental health side you mentioned in your post?

It's incredibly hard to open up sometimes, especially when you aren't feeling great, but you need to stress the impact this is having on your life and you need a break to get back on track.

I'd suggest self certify for 7 days and if it's still not helped lift your mood, go back to the GP and explicitly state you'd like to be signed off for 2 weeks.

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Scottish_Santa@reddit

Quite! Tell the GP what you want, it can be very hard to make yourself clear when your mental health is in the toilet, best to be explicit. I took nearly 5 months off with work-related stress, burnout and depression (toxic job). Left the job and life got better. Take care of yourself 🤗

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

I did and she said she’d take my bloods. I’d told her my lack of self care and eating disorder relapse but she still wasn’t very helpful. She was sympathetic but the services are so stretched which makes me feel even more like I’m just being lazy if that makes any sense?

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slippery-pineapple@reddit

That's ridiculous with a history and being medicated for it. I'd ask to speak to another GP

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

I will. She offered me talking therapy (I’ve had it about 7/8 times before and it doesn’t work for me) which I’ll take but they didn’t mention about reviewing my medication or anything. I mentioned I’d also relapsed on my eating disorder but that was brushed aside.

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Forward_Dingo8867@reddit

NHS GP for mental healthy anything currently is really bad. Some areas have self referral talking therapy, and depending on wait list, you could discuss all of this with a therapist (tbh I don't think they're always great on these services) and ask if they wouldn't mind writing a letter referencing it for your GP, professionals tend to take other professionals more seriously. Also, if you do a self referral, be really honest on the form. In the event they say they can't accept you on the service due to severity (they'll probably email this), then show that to the GP. I'd also suggest seeing if you can speak to another GP too instead of the one you currently have.

Prior to any GP appointment, I like to write out the main points clearly and concisely. I also consider what I want done, and say. So in your case, if it's a change/review of medicine due to its effectiveness changing, be very specific and say "my medications used to work better, now they don't feel effective at all. I'd like to review this and other medication options". The gp guidance is now largely based on patients coming in and asking or telling. It's very frustrating, I've experienced it myself, but I've found in recent years if I say I've had x y z symptoms, they're less active then when I say "I'm dizzy and pale, can I have an iron blood test", even though I'm not a Dr and I dunno.

Otherwise, I advice you contact citizens advice. Ask them to explain to you your rights when it comes to sick leave (it sounded like you had a lot of anxiety about how your employer would react), it can be kind of reassuring, but mainly ask them about what your options are with taking longer periods off, benefits, the likes. They can also talk you through your medical care if you feel a Dr has not provided the right care, and advise how to get second opinions and make complaints if they've not fulfilled their duty of care.

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reeblebeeble@reddit

It's OK to ask to be signed off work. You don't have to hide it or worry about angling. You can say you're really burned out and need time to rest and would like to be signed off work. It's OK to ask for what you want, really it is. She can say no if she isn't comfortable, but in your situation it's more than reasonable.

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Sweet-Economics-5553@reddit

Have you had your thyroid checked?

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

I’m having bloods taken next week

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No_Camp_7@reddit

If you say you haven’t showered in 9 days, that should tell the doctor you are struggling much more than your words let on. It’s hard to be straightforward sometimes, but I think you should go back and be as upfront as you’ve been in your post.

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mysteriousmistress66@reddit

Please go back and request to speak to a different GP. Show them this post. Tell them that you're really struggling to cope, and while you may not be an immediate risk to yourself (obviously this may not be true, I don't want to assume either way that you are or are not an immediate risk to yourself), you need support before it gets to that point.

And if you have any friends to talk to, reach out to them. And if you don't feel comfortable talking to friends, then you can always message me because I know how you feel, and I'm a stranger and sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers

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Samuraisheep@reddit

Did you really ham up how much you're struggling? Sometimes you've got to exaggerate a bit! Especially if you're female (don't know if you are or not).

You can also see another GP if you have a few in the same practice.

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Bifanarama@reddit

You say you sleep a lot, but is it good quality sleep? Eg, could you have sleep apnoea? Quickest and cheapest way to find out is to buy a pulse oximeter. Not the normal one that just shows your current blood oxygen level, but one that also records the data continually for a few hours. Wear it while sleeping and see what is the lowest figure it records.

In my case it was 71. So I went for a proper sleep study because my GP insisted those little devices are nowhere near as good as a proper sleep study. 71 again.

Also, get a complete set of blood tests. You may be low on something key, like iron.

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tillydeeee@reddit

When do you get your blood results? Low iron can make you feel totally shite and wiped out. More likely if you're female.

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

I get my bloods taken next week so I’m assuming a week after that? Not sure how it works

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murrayflew@reddit

I haven’t read through all the comments here to check if this has already been said, so apologies if I’m repeating myself.

I used to be a GP receptionist and it’s super easy to get signed off. Contact your GP and request to speak to someone, first and foremost, it really sounds like you need some support and well done for being in a place to consider prioritising yourself like this. Advise the GP that you need some time off work, and they will write you a sicknote - you can discuss with them the initial period before you need to have the note reviewed. The sicknote can start from whatever day you need it to, so can start retroactively.

Inform your work you are signing yourself off and that a sicknote will be provided, but as others have said you can self certify for the first 7 days anyway. If your work try and fob you off and say they need a sicknote first, this is untrue. When that sicknote reaches them, it will go from whatever day you need it to, and they cannot argue.

Feel free to ask any specific questions and I’ll answer if I can, I was a receptionist for a long while and sicknotes were one of the things I dealt with most commonly. Goodluck, you’ve got this!!

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TingsInMaSocks@reddit

There's already some good advice regarding your GP and the controlling parents.

It might be helpful to let your manager know that you're struggling.

Just getting it out in the open and not having to hide it or feel ashamed will take a massive weight off your shoulders.

I have some personal experience with burnout. I have health issues that were making it difficult to work, I pushed through as hard as I could to stay in my job. In my thoughts I was so scared about what was going to happen if I had to take a long time off work, how I was going to pay my rent, is this going to be a reoccurring thing? how can I move forward in my life?.. so I just kept pushing, for years. In the end my body completely crashed, couldn't walk in a straight line, dizziness, heart palpitations, high BP, high blood sugar, constant feeling of adrenaline stress. I went off work sick thinking I would just need a week, it ended up taking more than 6 months to recover from burnout that severe.

The main thing is, this is just a job, if it doesn't work out you'll find one that does. Your parents might be angry, but fuck them, it's your life and you need to do what's best for you.

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g0_west@reddit

I’ve taken 2.5 days off in the last 12 months so I’m worried about my absence score too. I only need a week or so

Assuming this is 1 day + 1.5 days + 1 week, most places will log this as 3 sick periods as they log each absence period as 1 chunk rather than that actual total days.

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ScaredPractice4967@reddit

Speak to your GP. They should go through your options.

Also good luck to you buddy. Depression is a shitty black hole at times but it can and does get better. Im a 20 year veteran of depression and my really bad days are few and far between these days.

DM me if you want to.

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Amylou789@reddit

My husband went through something similar for being bullied at work, to the point that he was drinking a lot. Our GP was really helpful so I would say try again with a different GP.

We went to the GP together as he found it hard to say what he needed - because he was already in a bad state of mind. Have you got someone that can do that for you? If not, write down what is wrong and what help you want on a paper and physically give it to the GP in the appointment - you can say the last appointment wasn't helpful as the GP didn't really address your problems so the not is to help make sure it's clear.

Focus on the impact that it is having on your everyday life - not showering and the relapse of the eating disorder. Say it is impacting your physical health. Say that's not normal for you and you want help to get back to normal. Say the parts of work which are causing the stress. For us, this helped the GP make a plan with us for an amount of time off and what we would do in that time so that we would be in a better place at the end.

And if you want help with medication, say that explicitly and ask what the GP thinks will help.

At the end of the appointment ask the GP to summarise/go through what they said so you understand it all - that helps avoid any lingering questions when you leave the room.

As people have said, first 7 days you do yourself. Then the GP gives you a sick note if they agree time off will be helpful. Asking your GP for help is not wrong, and I'm sorry your first GP wasn't helpful.

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PuzzleheadedFrame441@reddit

My GP practice allows you to request a sick note online even! You don’t even have to see the doctor. Quite mad really.

OP - speaking as someone who has taken long term sick due to mental health - now is the time to take action. You should not be discriminated against. The best thing you can do for yourself is take time off to rest, recover, and get stuck into more therapy. CBT was life changing for me and I would recommend this if you have the means. A good therapist will change the world. If you carry on as you are, you will only sink deeper to the point it becomes more difficult to recover from. Do not be ashamed, we all go through struggles and nobody is untouchable. You may find that become a solicitor is not the right path for you, and that’s ok too. It doesn’t reflect on your value as a person. Health is the number 1 priority. Wishing you all the best, signed a person who changed their career after mental health struggles in a demanding field. Xox

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izit--@reddit

Op I’m going through something similar but am a bit further along the process. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way but hit me up if you’d like to talk. 37 f.

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Successful-Cut-5772@reddit

Your health is the priority here, and a GP can absolutely help you get the time you need to recover without it affecting your job.

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Old_Zucchini_4406@reddit

Docs take mental health VERY seriously Advise them you've already self-certed for a week (they won't always give a note if you haven't) as your docs are well aware of the problems your having, they'll sign you off for a minimum of 3 weeks

I had similar issues almost 2 years ago & they signed me off for 3 weeks straight away, did my bloods etc and really helped me

I was off for 8 weeks and felt so much better Work cannot let you go for needing to be off especially when mental health is concerned

Take the time you need and have that re-fresh your brain needs

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Clear-Student-9607@reddit

Your health is the foundation of your career, and taking this step to prioritize it is the opposite of letting anyone down.

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lavender_cookie_@reddit

Do you have to explain to work it's mental health related? Couldn't you just say it's physical health from insomnia or something, you're having bloods checked, hope it'll be resolved quickly, apologise and get the note from the doctor?

PS - turn your location off with your parents as well that's controlling and adding another layer of stress 🫂

Furthermore, if your parents care about you enough to track your location, I'd like to think they would be understanding if your health isn't as good and you need a bit of rest.

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Big_Turnover7420@reddit

Hello - I work for a private gp practice based in Hull I’m not sure if that’s local to you but we could still help with a phone consultation and do the paperwork digitally- there would be a cost associated. If you DM me I can give you more details.

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Proud-Ad-6887@reddit

Take a week to rest and reset, then take the second week to reevaluate your happiness in your work/life.

Maybe a change of career? It’s your life, live it in a way that makes you happiest. If that’s a career change, travelling or just putting in boundaries for work and your folks. Do it ❤️

I’d also recommend just getting out daily for daylight walk. I know for me the less I do the less energy I have. All the best, you’ve got this!

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Quirky_Impact@reddit

You get 28 days holiday annually, why have you only taken 2.5 days? You sound like you have burnout, which is not a quick week recovery. :(

You need help with your work life balance, you won't survive in any career at this pace with no breaks

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IntrusiveUK@reddit

Firstly, completely forget about how your parents will feel about you making your own choices, you don’t even live with them anymore. You’re too old to worry about shit like that.

Secondly, this feeling you have is real and I have been in the same boat as you. I’ve spent days unshowered laying in bed in the dark, ordering bad food and drinking beers. Honestly the only way out is to start walking. Any form of exercise but walking is easiest, just go out and walk for 30 mins everyday in the morning and you will feel a ton better, shower when you get back and eat the right food, no ordering takeout.

I know it’s tough, and sometimes you just need a few days to shut yourself away, rest and lay in bed. But no one is coming to save you, the doctors don’t have a magic cure.

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everyoneis_gay@reddit

People have answered this but I just wanted to check you don't have any kind of health insurance built in with your job that might allow you to access private medical/therapy support? Because if you do you should 100% take advantage of it (and if you don't you should consider which places do offer it when planning your next career step)

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dingalinglans@reddit

As someone who suffered burnout a few years ago, don't limit to a week. Take the time you need to get yourself correct. Better for absenteeism/Bradford score bullshit too if it's one long continuous absence rather than fractured.

Wishing you the best x

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Sloth_Broth@reddit

If you broke your leg you wouldn't be ashamed of not walking on it. It's okay that you're struggling and need help. Go and speak to your GP and be honest with them. They will provide a sick note and it is illegal for your work place to fire or discriminate against you based on this. The equality act protects mental health too and tbh I think more professional working people than you realise would resonate with you and have been through similar. We are all human.

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cameragirl17@reddit

If you’ve only taken 2.5 days leave in 12 months, book at least two weeks off before you lose it.

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

Sorry those are sick days not annual leave

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Familiar-Woodpecker5@reddit

You’re an adult and you need to put yourself and your well being first. Call in and self certify for a week. Please do not worry about your absence record. What did the GP say? Do you need to go back? Have you changed medication?

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hollygolightly7490@reddit

Could you also take some annual leave? 2.5 days in 12 months is no time off

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

That’s time off sick. I’ve taken some annual leave and booked some already for family holidays/pre arranged events. I only have 16 days left to book until May so I’m just nervous about using it

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ph0nxe@reddit

If you are an adult there is no reason your parents should be able to track your location against your will. It is clearly causing you a degree of anxiety that is making your mental health worse.

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Funny_Professor3578@reddit

Turn off location tracking, that's a boundary you definitely need to enforce.

I think you need therapy tbh to learn to hold boundaries with your parents. When my daughter was young I went to the doctors about anxiety and they signed me off for 3 months and then a further 3 months and I definitely needed it. I was a bit scared at the time.

I assume you have the type of parents that made you go to school even when you were really ill and that's why you're struggling with it now. It's ok to have time off if you're ill. Mental health good really important.

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Hot-Sign-249@reddit

Also to add if you do go off sick/get signed off then your workplace will be breaking the law if they contact you. Even asking if you are okay is wrong. They also cannot get rid of you or sack you while you are signed off sick.(from experience of having ALOT of time signed off with MH issues)

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Ok_Wheel316@reddit

I’ve taken 2.5 days off in the last 12 months so I’m worried about my absence score too.

Unpopular opinion somehow but I just don’t agree with the whole absence score. It’s crazy to me that only taking 2.5 days off in a whole year is seen as already too much. We’re human beings, shit happens and flus and illness go around multiple times a year. Only having 2.5 days off a year is impressive to me. I think the absence score thing is a joke and more corporate bullshit to make us feel worse about something we already can’t control

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kittykat7931@reddit

I’m sure you know this but depression is a chemical imbalance, not just feeling sad. A change to your medication might be required but as someone else said thyroid would also be a good call - I feel constantly exhausted and my body hurts which I am sure is thyroid but battling with my GP who says it is within the normal ranges and it’s just hormonal.

Take the week self certified, get signed off for a couple of weeks beyond that. Take the time and give yourself small, achievable goals - a shower, clean sheets, wash your hair. One small step every day.

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lizzie_knits@reddit

I was feeling like you, and was going through some rough times. My GP took a ton of bloods because I was sleeping all the time, and depressed too. I had a vitamin b deficiency anaemia and was prescribed vitamins. Took a couple of months to work, but I started coming back to myself.

You need to take time off . Phone in sick, tell them you’re sick and waiting on test results. Don’t ignore this, or you will end up worse and ending up in hospital.

Explain all of this to your parents, if they’re not sympathetic just say your GP insists, and your employer agrees.

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jesussays51@reddit

My wife had something similar, got signed off for two months in the end so she could look for a new job. Once she had the new job she pretty quickly came off the meds as well. Only downside was her life insurance was £3 a month more than mine when we bought our house.

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MontyDaisy95@reddit

As other commenters have said, call in sick to work then arrange a gp appointment as soon as possible to get yourself signed off. I went through a very similar thing a few years ago with depression, sleeping all the time and not eating because I wasn't hungry, looking back it was bad anxiety and depression that had manifested. If your gp has brushed your concerns off in the past, you can complain to the practice manager. (This happened to me, when I got told I didn't have anything to be depressed about because I didn't have kids, and I should do breathing exercises instead!)

Make sure to be honest to your gp about how your feeling. You mentioned you are on medication, this medication may not be working for you. Sometimes it can take a while to find medication that works for you (it took me just under a year) but once you do, I have found that it really helped me and now I won't look back. If your gp tries to brush you off, please advocate for yourself, maybe bring a friend you trust to the appointment to help.

When sending your sick note to work, you don't have to write anything more than "Dear ..., As you know I have been off work due to sickness. I have been to the gp about this and they have recommended that I am to be signed off work. Please find fitness to work note attached". Your manager may call you to keep in contact with you while your off, it's important to take these calls. They may ask for an occupational health referral, you should do this as they may help you in terms of getting help to get back to work when you're ready i.e. reduced hours when you start to go back.

I hope you manage to get back on your feet OP. Not sure what area you are in but if you google mental health charities in your area, maybe get in touch with them too, they can help with job advice or further therapy if you feel you may benefit from it.

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Professional_Bug7135@reddit

Hello, senior lawyer here. Firstly, please don’t worry about your job; poor mental health is not rare in our profession. You can reach out to LawCare, which is free and confidential-they have both phone and email support, whichever is best for you. Your firm, depending on size, will also have some form of resource-can you speak with Grad Recruitment or HR? Both should be able to signpost you. A chat with your supervisor, should they be approachable would likely help, if not, someone recently qualified or even just a little ahead of you in the programme is likely to have some ideas as to what is on offer. Your final port of call is the Law Society, but they’re likely to point you to LawCare. Please take care of yourself

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Al_Snows_Head@reddit

To add to what people have said I would talk to your supervisor at work also. Companies are much more aware of their duties to employees nowadays, and will likely be understanding of your situation. By not telling them, you’re never giving them the chance to understand what’s going on and to support you. There are also legal protections about firing an employee due to being off work for medical reasons, which is another reason to bring it to their attention.

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bow_lolly@reddit

If it helps, I’ve had literally 8 weeks off total spread over four separate occasions this calendar year and it still hasn’t triggered any absence meetings/made my absence score too high. Granted it’s not been for mental health (tonsillitis, covid, miscarriage, ectopic) but still, the reason doesn’t matter legally. Tell your boss you are unwell and will be self certifying yourself as off sick for 5 working days. You don’t need to tell them why. Don’t tell them “I’ll see how I feel tomorrow and let you know” - try and be firm that you will be off for 5 days so they don’t keep contacting you. Then if you don’t feel better after 5 days, talk to your GP and you can get signed off for a week or 2 weeks, and then review with the GP if you need longer.

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summerloco@reddit

When I spoke to my GP about it recently he said to me that the first step is to work with the employer. Tell your manager exactly what you’ve said here. Then ask for accommodations such as a reduced working week maybe 4 days a week. If they can’t work with you after you’ve suggested things, then my GP said the stress / signed off route is an option to explore further. I guess every GP is different but what he said makes sense to me broadly. Have you tried speaking to your manager yet?

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jaxinabox1@reddit

Please go to your GP and have some time off. You’re in no fit state to work and shouldn’t be trying to. Prioritise your wellbeing now and you can go back when you’re more able to and smash it. Listen to what your body tells you x

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Alice_Da_Cat@reddit

OP. Please be kind to yourself, no one would be mad with you, they'd want to help you and see you get yourself right, your family 100% - A job is just a job, if you lost it, you could get another 🧡

You need to go to the doctors and be raw, be honest, if you need to cry don't hold it back, tell them you are worried about losing your job, explain the extent of it, how bad it's got and how much you are struggling, they will know the best course of action, I had many sick notes, tried many medications, even nearly sectioned once, thankfully my family and partner stepped in to keep watch over me in turns to ensure I was never alone and my partner took charge of my medications so I wasn't left alone with them.

My dad always told m "god only helps them who help themselves" - Make that doctors appointment and whatever they ultimately decide is best, do it, you've got nothing to loose from trying.

Sending you love, light & hope OP 🧡

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MightyDevOps@reddit

Are you sure its not CPTSD ?

Sleeping your day away is telltale sign of Freeze response.

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Alive_Forever_9541@reddit

Firstly, well done for opening up and asking. That's not easy.

What part of the country are you in? Do a search and see if there's a local Mind.org.uk branch. I'd recommend you speak to them in terms of getting some advice, and guidance. And it's just really good to be able to talk to people who know how you're feeling.

You've mentioned medication and eating disorder, and also parental stuff. Don't want to know all the details, but this suggests a history. And if you're feeling bad at the moment you need to have this all reviewed. If you're getting no practical help from your GP, again the Mind organisation will be able to give practical help.

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GreybridgeLeopard@reddit

This is the bit where you discover that ‘people are not [your firm’s] greatest asset’ and that HR really, really isn’t on your side. Your experience is in line with that which happened to a contact who is an employed solicitor and was being run ragged by her firm.

More practically, given that they are not looking after you, speak to another firm about constructive unfair dismissal.

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Linguistin229@reddit

Hi OP,

I’d post in r/uklaw as you’ll get some more tailored answers. Being a trainee solicitor is a very different environment from most jobs, and unless you’ve been through it most people won’t understand just how intense and horrible it can be.

If you’re already not in great mental shape and then start a traineeship it’s going to be insanely hard.

The fear of taking time off, even if entitled, when a trainee is real. It often feels like any tiny thing you do that isn’t showing 100% commitment to the job means you won’t get an NQ role. The pressure is a lot.

I think you’ll get (or should get!) a lot of helpful replies in the UK law sub - everyone there has either been through it or are going through it.

As a start though I would self-cert for 7 days. I’d look at your HR policy on whether you need to disclose in terms of illness.

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Logical-Kick-3901@reddit

Came to say this. There are some profession-specific services that will help much better than general advice. Solicitors (and even more so, barristers) work in a very odd professional environment. You need to to dig into those services and advice providers.

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Cleffah@reddit

You need therapy and to be open and honest about the relationship you have with your parents (with the medical professional). You seem to be putting a lot of pressure on yourself... for other people?

Your parents having your location at all times (especially as a grown adult) is not normal and you appear extremely stressed about what others, more so your parents will think of you.

Please do not be afraid to take even ONE sick day where you can make yourself shower and just get in bed so you can feel better and rest. Ot starts with the little things. You need to consider wether your career path is right for you, its a very high pressure and high stress job. Did you want this? Or was it pushed on you?

I wish you the best of luck, I saw you said you have an ED too. None of this is a good mix, the job, the parents, lack of sleep, the ED. This won't end well unless you reach out and you're 100% honest. You deserve better and you deserve to be yourself, careers can be built back up and families can be cut off or repaired. What matters is YOU and YOUR health and wellbeing, put that first and try your best to forget about the "consequences" because that can be dealt with when you're better and they're not life ruining.

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Curious-Term9483@reddit

Make yourself an appointment (if there's an online system you can probably c&p pretty much what you've said here).

You can show the doctor this Reddit post if you find it hard articulating how you feel. The doctor can only sign you off for 2 weeks initially but that gives you a bit of breathing space. You probably can't get a doctor's appointment today but call in sick - you don't need a doctor's certificate to cover your first week off sick anyway.

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Curious-Term9483@reddit

Covering your other points - In terms of absence score, the things which flag on those are lots of separate short absences (or some kind of pattern where you are off sick the first Monday after payday because you've been boozing all weekend and are hungover). 2.5 days isn't excessive.

And I can't comment on your parents without knowing the relationship you have with them. I know in my family if I was off sick they would be worried about me not angry with me, so I hope you are overthinking this bit. I do wonder if changing your phone settings so they can't see your location any more would be healthier? Maybe not something to tackle today if switching it off will cause drama, but if them having that visibility is impacting your mental health it might be one to revisit when you are ready.

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Curious-Term9483@reddit

But well done for recognising you need to take some action and get some help. I really hope some breathing space and a chat with the GP can help get you back on track to feeling a bit more like yourself.

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Jimmyboro@reddit

The first three days don't require a fitness to work certificate. For the first 1-7 days you can provide a 'self certified fitnote' which covers you for the week.

Any longer time will require a fitness to work but all you have to do is say to the doc 'this is the problem, can I have a sick note?'

Nowadays a digital copy is emailed of sent to your phone, just give it to your boss, they are all registered now so you can always get another copy.

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swallowyoursadness@reddit

If you're honest with work about what's going on, have the time off that you need, and get back to feeling more yourself and capable again, that's far better for them that you just grinding on getting worse. Not to mention the fact that it sounds clear that you need time off for the sake of your mental health.

You don't have to go into any detail with work, have a statement prepared 'I've been experiencing exhaustion/anxiety/depression recently and it's got to the point where I will need to take sick leave in order to recover. I'll be in touch again once I've spoken with my GP'. If they put any pressure on you to go into detail 'I'd rather not discuss details at the moment if that's OK'

Go to you GP and tell them how long you need to be signed off for. It can feel a bit awkward, but just say you really feel you need a break for the sake of your mental health. You're saying you just need a week but I'd give yourself two.

Send your doctors nite into work, you don't need to call them.

Once you start to feel better, get in touch and let them know and start the process of getting back to it. If you feel you need more time off than the first doctors note covers, try to give them plenty of notice that you'll be doing that and go back to the doctor and say you need more time.

Very best of luck with everything. Do not feel guilty or worried about taking sick leave for this. If they're a good employer, they will want yo support you.

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VacantlyContent@reddit

Firstly, please don't be embarrassed. Many of us have been there, and the fact that you're reaching out rather than suffering in silence is amazing.

As others have already said, you can self-certify for the first seven days off work. After that, you'll need a fit note from your GP.

When I was going through a really difficult period with my mental health last year, I called my GP and they were incredibly supportive. They offered to sign me off without me even having to ask. I also accessed group therapy and reviewed my medication.

Hope you take the time you need. Take care of yourself.

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emj90@reddit

Self cert for 7 days and then get signed off by the GP if you need to. I've been signed off by a GP twice this year already and have had no issues getting a sick note. You just ask them and generally they are happy to do so.

In terms of your job, there will be a sickness policy and protocols they are required to do to support you in terms of ill health/sickness.

You and your health and wellbeing come before work. Look after yourself 😊

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tricky12121st@reddit

Does your work provide healthcare and / or support ? Make sure you get help, you're not the only one to suffer. You're much better managing healthcare issues with your employer, rather than waiting until it triggers a performance issue.

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Gold-Tea1520@reddit

You sign yourself off the first week, then see the GP if you need more time or treatment

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Lopsided_Snower@reddit

You can go on your first day off from work and be signed off, too. In my experience, this is less anxiety inducing with work - you let work know you’re not well and that you’re trying to get a doctors appointment asap and will update them once you get one. You then drop them an email telling them when the appointment is, then email them after the appointment with a letter from the docs signing you off for the agreed period. You might need to ask to the doc for a letter but they should be happy to provide one. Hope you’re feeling better soon, OP. Good luck.

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conduit_for_nonsense@reddit

Book a GP appointment, let them know you're struggling, ask to be signed off from work. Very simple.

You can self certify for one week. But, if you feel like you need one week, you should probably take at least two for a proper reset. If your GP suggests more, I'd take that too.

Score = Instances² × Days

So you can see that taking more instances is worse than taking more days. Best for a longer period of time and a proper rest, than lots of one week sicknesses.

Use the time to see friends and family, spend time outside, get back into good routines.

My solicitor friend took 3 months off, and work pro ratad her billables.

You've got this

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karlosfandangoIII@reddit

I know it’s hard if you are suffering from anxiety but I’d have a chat with your boss if they’re the sensible type. You’re clearly not wanting to let them down reading your post - get that across, tell them you’re struggling with fatigue and feel that it affecting both your ability to do your work and “to a degree” your wellbeing. Explain that you’re going to the docs for tests and whatnot, explain you need to take a little time and if you feel it will help, offer to take some leave if it helps the business.

If anyone is annoyed with that approach, then I’d suggest the job itself is not right

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Klutzy_Ad_8886@reddit

Hey op. I have been in your position. You can have a 7 day absence and signed off with your GP from there onwards. Explain how you feel to them. They might advise counselling ect which works for some people. You just need time. I had depression and anxiety as well as undiagnosed coeliac which is why I had absolutely no energy and had hypersomnia. I went 17 hours of dead sleep and missed a whole Saturday because of it. A bit confusing when you assumed it's only been 2/3 hours... Don't forget, medication can take a little while to get you better but try not to stay in bed all day. Kick your own butt out, even if it's just sitting on the sofa. Best of luck op, it may not seem like it but it does get better x

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Prestigious_Humor763@reddit

Your health is more important than anything else. Look at your work contract, you will know how many paid sick day you can take a year… 2 in a year is an extremely small… your entitled to those days, just like annual leave. Take them now. If you need longer then go to GP for a sick note.

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OneCrispyCritter95@reddit

How long have you been at your current place of work?

Best thing to do is review your current absence policy, as well as your probation terms if still on probation.

Was the 2.5 days a single occurrence? Or multiple?

Generally most companies will let go one or two instances of absence but if you’ve been at your current job less than 2 years, or are still in your probationary period, they can let you go for any reason at all and just cite “performance” as the reason.

Considering all the above, it may be best to have an honest conversation with your line manager and/or HR.

As for getting a sick note, just call your GP and ask for an appointment. When you get there, just lay it out as you have done here and you can request to be signed off if you need to.

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Linguistin229@reddit

Just to say this doesn’t really work for traineeships - it’s very difficult to fire a trainee, you need something like gross misconduct to be fired as a trainee.

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Majestic-Win-7826@reddit (OP)

A year almost, not on probation anymore. 3 occurrences - 2 full days and one half day (I went in and then felt very unwell/boss recommended I go home)

I’m just not sure how to approach it, I know that seems silly

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Forsaken_Visual_8639@reddit

Can you request a week of annual leave to rest and recharge? It’s what it’s there for.

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idk7643@reddit

Before even having to go to the GP I'd use your legally required holidays? You only taking 2.5 days in 12 months is illegal and given your employer should know the laws I'm surprised they didn't force you to take time off.

Go get 3 weeks of holidays

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CellistNarrow5069@reddit

Can you just take a holiday, say you are going abroad, then do something different with your life. Get a new haircut, tattoo, book a hotel somehere and stay there for a night, meet new people, get drunk and smoke a cigarette, start a fight with someone online, buy an xbox

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weallcomefromaway3@reddit

Tell your GP what you've written down here and they will discuss being signed off work with you. If it's any reassurance, I'm a GP myself and I don't know any colleague who would not be empathetic. We are also patients too and given the high rates of stress, burnout, mh difficulties in our profession I imagine a lot of us will have had to take time off work for that reason or another before. I had to be signed off by my GP after my dad died for a few weeks before I felt ready to go back.

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garlic_everything@reddit

Firstly you can self-certify for up to 7 calendar days so you don’t need a GP fit note for this.

Secondly, it sounds like you do need to go back to the GP for further support, particularly if you’re not feeling better after a week of rest, and to help prevent these feelings recurring.

If you’re genuinely concerned about absence triggers then perhaps you could use annual leave however most companies should only use absence trigger meetings to understand what’s impacting your ill health and explore ways they can support your wellbeing (especially if the absence levels aren’t particularly significant).

Put yourself and your health first. You’re a grown up with a job, what your parents think isn’t important here.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

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xxxJoolsxxx@reddit

Give this post to your GP and go from there. There are a lot of reasons that could be maki g you feel this way and you need to get the tests done and find out how you move forward. Good luck 😉

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Character_Layer_5938@reddit

Without commenting on your specific case fortunately for you nearly 70% of GPs have never declined a single case

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c20lew24kngo

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