How difficult will it be to get a will written without my husband’s knowledge?
Posted by ExternalAstronomer17@reddit | AskABrit | View on Reddit | 109 comments
I’d like to get all my affairs in order but I’m not really sure how it works. I’ve tried Googling but it’s all a bit above what I understand and I think I’d just like some first hand experience stories. I don’t want my husband to know I’ve done it. Is this possible? How does it work with witnesses etc.? I just want everything to be in order so that it will make life easier for him.
Has anyone used one of those charity things to get it done for free? Was it complicated?
I’m in England.
Historical_Heron4801@reddit
OP is everything ok? I feel like you're preparing for something you expect to happen sooner rather than later, which leads me to two possible conclusions. Both of which make me want to ask you to please talk to someone. Anyone, ideally a professional but literally anyone please. A doctor, a friend, the number for the Samaritans is 116123, you can DM me if you want, but please, someone.
If I've got the wrong end of the stick, I'm sorry, but I'm also not sorry in case I'm right.
Historical_Heron4801@reddit
OP, I saw the comment you deleted. I'm so sorry whatever helps you tried before didn't work for you. PLEASE try again. I speak from experience when I say that, however easy you try to make this for your husband, he will never get over it. He will always wonder what he could have done. He will always blame himself. He will never trust that someone he loves is safe in his hands, so don't kid yourself that hell just move on. Please give him the chance to save both of you.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Thank you. I’ve already tried to get help. But I appreciate you reaching out.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Thank you. I appreciate you checking in. ❤️
hodzibaer@reddit
Could you feasibly pay for a lawyer to help you write it?
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I could. But it just makes it more difficult to keep a secret.
weedywet@reddit
If your reasons for secrecy include the possibility that your husband might contest the will then you should definitely have a professional draw it up.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
No, it’s not that. He won’t contest it. I just need to know he’s protected when I’m gone and everything will be straightforward for him.
Tylia_x@reddit
I think the most protective thing you can do for your husband is to talk to him and to look after the person he loves (you).
Nothing is straightforward when you're grieving. Especially not a spouse. Nothing will ever be straightforward for him again.
Feels like you need to hear that far more than you need legal advice.
auntie_eggma@reddit
This. It sounds like she is planning to absolutely devastate this poor man she supposed loves, with no warning.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
You have no idea what you’re talking about.
SleepyDeluxe@reddit
No, it's true. I've seen the impact suicide has on a spouse and their family. It's devastating, and they never quite recover from it because they think they could have saved you.
Even if you go out of your way to make sure no one can stop you, this was the case with my friends husband but 10 years later she still thinks it's her fault and she's a shell of who she was. It's like his depression got transferred to her after he died.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I was contesting the “poor man she supposedly loves” part. She knows nothing about my situation.
SleepyDeluxe@reddit
That's usually said when people are planning on doing something selfish or something that will really hurt other someone they should care about.
Hopefully your husband does love you. Although if you follow through with this it might be better if he doesn't, because it won't traumatise him or haunt him when he keeps trying to figure out if there were signs or he could have stopped it.
I'll be honest the only reason I never went through with anything like this was because I saw how devastating it was for someone else's family.
I ended up moving and distancing myself from everyone. And it basically ended up being a new start, where I could still be miserable but I knew it was all me and no one else. Honestly, I'd consider this. Or pretend you've already done it and live like a different version of yourself. If you're usually making yourself small to keep others happy, be selfish and obnoxious following the date you want to reinvent yourself.
I used to go out and try on different personalities by exaggerating parts of myself.
I still gravitate towards being negative, but I know it's habit and it's easier to be negative than it is to be happy.
auntie_eggma@reddit
Ok then why can't he know you're making a will?
TheMediaBear@reddit
You've deleted your other comment in response to mine, so I can't reply to that, but I've been where you are, I still am sometimes, but I have a wife, and kids, and I will not pass this on to them. I did find some help from GP's, you will get support although you may have self-refer for some of it. Don't give up, you do not know what the future holds and it could be glorious!
My dad tried it, my friends dad did it when she was a young child, a school friend did it on GCSE results day back in 1997 (he got all A's an A*'s, but his older brother had also ended himself) and I've watched the damage it's done to my extended family when my cousin ended it a few years ago.
My pain stops with me.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I felt like you did. For years. Holding on and carrying it, pushing through for the sake of everyone else. There comes a point where you actually can’t.
TheMediaBear@reddit
well, i'm currently 44, and it's been this way for a good 25 years so far, with it peaking around 30, which is when i got help. I also have an autoimmune disease, BPD, Anxiety, PTSD and cPTSD. I'm still not passing it on. This pain can go fuck itself, I'm taking it with me!
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
You’re a better person than me.
Melodic-Buddy8349@reddit
Seems strange to keep it a secret then??
Fabulous-Part-1125@reddit
OP wants it kept a secret so her husband doesn’t know she’s planning a self induced exit from life.
auntie_eggma@reddit
He's not going to thank you for leaving him like you're planning.
TheMediaBear@reddit
even with a Will, nothing is straight forward when someone loses a partner.
If others suspicions are correct and you're thinking about checking out early, just know, that pain you feel, you will be passing that on to him
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I can’t carry this any more though
LaidBackLeopard@reddit
Really sorry to hear that. Please know that as bad as things might feel right now, there are ways through it. Please reach out - your GP is a good starting point. Be honest with them about how you are feeling.
Legitimate-Fruit-609@reddit
I managed to do this via zoom with a lovely will specialist. Draft sent via email to read through. Final copy in post for signing. Friends witnessed it.
There's a will safe company that holds the will for small fee and I have details of that in my top desk drawer. My friends know about it so can inform my husband as well.
hodzibaer@reddit
You could use a different lawyer to your normal one.
The lawyer just has to confirm that the will represents your own free will.
Final_Flounder9849@reddit
If you’re looking to write a will that means your husband won’t inherit then you need to have legal advice. It will not be a standard will and will writing services won’t be able to help. You need to ensure that the wording is correct and you need to specifically leave him something and make it clear in the will that you intended him to only receive that and nothing else.
This is assuming that’s the reason why you don’t want your husband to know you’re writing a will of course. Without one then he’ll automatically inherit the entirety of your estate upon your death just like you would upon his.
You really do need legal advice though. Could you walk into a solicitors office when you’re out by yourself perhaps and set up an appointment Abe ask them the questions or maybe post in the LegalUK subreddit.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
No, it’s not anything like that. He won’t contest it.
I just need to know he’s protected when I’m gone and everything will be as easy for him as possible.
Would it be just as straightforward not to have a will then? I always thought things were more complicated without one.
Boleyn01@reddit
Why can’t you just tell him you are doing it then? I wrote my first age 28 then replaced it with a joint one with my husband at 37 years old, and both of us healthy. It’s just a sensible thing to do. It doesn’t have to mean anything and if you are leaving to your husband then there’s no secret there.
What is the reason he can’t know?
auntie_eggma@reddit
She's going to destroy him by killing herself.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Why are you so nasty? I’ve been trying to ignore your snidey little comments but My husband has been abusive and this is my escape. I’m trying to make sure everything is in order so there are no issues for him, despite what he’s put me through. So you can fuck off with your shitty little uninformed opinions.
ayeayefitlike@reddit
Because OP is planning her exit, it seems from the comments.
Final_Flounder9849@reddit
The best thing to do is to obviously have a conversation with your husband about wills and do it together but failing that at least read the section on the Which? website about them. It’s simple to understand and covers most things that you need to know.
https://www.which.co.uk/money/wills-and-probate
Hertfordgal@reddit
Is his will a secret too? Do you have a good marriage?
General_Knowledge881@reddit
Seems like getting affairs in order prior to a self induced exit
Hertfordgal@reddit
It’s a shame when there is no trust
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
What do you mean?
General_Knowledge881@reddit
The OP is planning on killing themselves and is getting their affairs in order. I have seen too many friends absolutely shattered by suicide. The pain of the person that killed themselves is shared around 10 fold by everyone that loved them. Even one friend who was no contact with her father due to no fault of her own was severely impacted when he took his own life. It messed her up for years, if someone had asked him if anyone would have cared if he died he would 100% have said no, but I saw the repercussions. It was awful.
Optimal_Fish_7029@reddit
No trust??? Do you even understand what they said
LaidBackLeopard@reddit
Bear in mind that you'll need to tell someone close to you that you've written it, otherwise no one will know to implement it come the day.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Oh, really?
Is that just a mention it down the pub thing? Or an actual legal thing?
Boleyn01@reddit
It’s not a legal thing but if you don’t how will anyone know to look for one when you die?
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I assumed there was just a database that was checked upon death. 🤦♀️Told you I don’t know anything about this stuff!
floofienewfie@reddit
No, no general database for wills.
I am not a lawyer. The following is practical advice. If you’re planning on leaving your estate to other relatives and/or friends, you can give them copies of your will. Make sure the original is with the attorney who drew up the will or the executor. Specify that you are leaving nothing to your spouse. Otherwise, he may have room to contest the will.
According_Arm1956@reddit
There is the National Wills Register https://www.nationalwillregister.co.uk/
(See the "Looking for copies of a will after someone dies" section of this page https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/wills/ )
floofienewfie@reddit
I stand corrected. I was thinking of wills drawn up prior to the person’s death. Anyone could have one written and stick it in a drawer somewhere. No one would know about it until someone went through the decedent’s belongings.
Royal_Community_9626@reddit
If you’re in Scotland you can also not write your children out your will no matter what they’ve done.
The_Blonde1@reddit
My best friend has done this. She’s made a legal will, and has told only me and her other best friend. Her other bestie is also her executor.
We also have log in details and passwords to her financial accounts.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I don’t have any friends. And don’t really want to talk to my family about it. Someone else said I can get it witnessed at a solicitor’s office so maybe that’s going to be my best option.
DIY_at_the_Griffs@reddit
Please don’t do anything silly. If you have a husband and family then you’re more loved than perhaps you realise. It’s better to have some difficult conversations than it is to be dealing with someone’s affairs after they’ve passed away.
Reading between the lines you should sit them down and talk through any problems or regrets.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I’ve already tried.
The_Blonde1@reddit
Yes, you can. My OH and I made our wills together at our solicitor’s office and staff witnessed them.
But as you want to make yours without telling your husband, I told you what a friend of mine did in case it would be helpful to you.
As other people have said, someone will have to know your will exists, otherwise how can it be executed?
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Sorry, I see what you mean! Thank you.
LaidBackLeopard@reddit
The will will nominate someone as an executor to carry out your wishes (do you have someone in mind?). When you die, they are going to have to intervene asap and tell your husband about the will, as he will be assuming that he is inheriting everything (I'm assuming that you don't have a previous will) and will act accordingly.
I'm kind of curious as to your intention here...
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Ah okay. I didn’t realise that. No, I don’t have anyone in mind and don’t really want to tell anyone about the will. I’m guessing there’s no way round that?
If I want everything to go straight to my husband anyway, are things just as straightforward without a will? I always heard that things are a nightmare without one?
julemeister@reddit
I did this three years ago for my mother, her husband died, and it was straight forward. As the spouse you are first in line then your children. Doing probate was easy for larger value things. I did it all myself. Your will will come in handy though if he dies and then you die surely after. You would get the benefit and then it would be divided equally between your kids but there may be in fighting, which a will prevents. If you have more than one child you should have an executor and a 2nd just in case.
I_will_never_reply@reddit
If youre married, thats the default. Everything will go to your spouse, no will required but it makes it clear at least
Rowmyownboat@reddit
If you die first, by default, things go to your husband because you own things together.
The_Blonde1@reddit
If your husband is going to get everything anyway, why don’t you want to tell him?
MirandaPoth@reddit
You have to have an executor. Usually people put their children or other family member that they trust, or the lawyer who is drawing up the will for them, as they can be trusted to execute everything properly.
I’m also wondering why the secrecy. If no-one knows about your will then how will they know to look for it when you die. It’s not a great idea to assume you will definitely die before your husband - what if you don’t? That could be a nightmare for sure. When/if you do talk to a lawyer they will make you think about all the ifs and buts situations that you haven’t even dreamt of. Usually couples make their wills together, we did.
LaidBackLeopard@reddit
The admin is easier with a will. Also, you should consider the scenarios where you die at the same time, or he dies first.
Why not just tell him?
QuinnCampbell@reddit
Please seek help as others have advised.
This is advice for anyone, not just OP: It is worthwhile checking the deeds to any property you may own - you need to be Joint Tenants for your partner to have right of survivorship, allowing them to automatically become the sole owner of the property upon your death.
If you are Tenants in Common, you may need to wait some time for probate to go through before anything can be done with the property (e.g. sell it, if keeping/maintaining it is not something you can do anymore).
ayeayefitlike@reddit
OP, are you getting your affairs in order so you can kill yourself?
I’ve been suicidal, and I know what a dark, horrible place it is. There are no options visible at all. And once you’ve made the decision it seems like a straight, easy, and importantly short road to travel. But I now look at the twenty years I’ve had since and am so glad I didn’t.
My very close friend lost her husband four years ago. She has been so devastated. If he had made the choice to leave her rather than being taken, I don’t think she’d have made it through. I think you must know how desperately scared your husband would be if he knew your plans, or you wouldn’t be keeping the will a secret from him.
Please give him, or anyone - a Samaritan (116 123), CALM (0800 58 58 58), SOS ( 0808 115 1505 ), text SHOUT to 85258, call NHS 111, or I’ll send you a DM with my number if you’d speak to me (I am a qualified mental health first aider) - a chance to talk to you about this. At the end of the day, killing yourself is an endgame move, and if you are totally certain then speaking to someone is only a short delay, but you can then honestly tell your husband that you tried.
So please speak to someone. You can continue to sort your will in the meantime, but please speak to someone.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I feel like I’ve already talked, already tried. I have reached out. I have spoken to someone. But I’m beyond help.
I appreciate your message. I really do. But it doesn’t offer anything I haven’t tried. Please don’t think I’m being rude or difficult. It’s just that I’m already past the ‘talk to someone’ bit.
ayeayefitlike@reddit
Thanks for replying OP - that really genuinely means a lot. I appreciate you maybe feel really exhausted with this so thanks for engaging with me especially when it sounds like you’ve been trying previously.
I do have a question for you if you don’t mind - please feel free to reply by DM if you prefer or not at all.
When you spoke to someone, did they try to help connect you to actual services? Because you’re right, when you get to a point, just talking often isnt enough and doesn’t actually help with how you feel and how you’re experiencing life. But there are multiple types of services that can help find ways to relieve how you’re feeling. Finding the right ones can be hit and miss, and without support can be exhausting and feel insurmountable, but finding the right one is literally life saving, for your loved ones as well as you.
If even a little part of you wants to try something else, please drop me a DM, or contact one of the services I’ve linked above. You can keep this quiet from your husband if it makes you more comfortable - it doesn’t have to stop any plans you’re making, just maybe delay them slightly whilst you see whether there are any other options for you.
From a psychological perspective, once you start making plans for suicide, it’s common to ‘lock in’ and view that putting your affairs in order prior to suicide is the only route forward. But it’s not mutually exclusive. We can talk about other options without it tying you to changing your plans.
auntie_eggma@reddit
You aren't. You just believe you are.
Spookalooney@reddit
You are never beyond help, please trust that.
You are valued and loved by the people in your life.
When you are in this hole it is very hard to see over the edge, to see any future.
I have been there, it's awful, but you can get through it.
Please consider talking to someone again, literally anyone. I have had conversations with complete strangers, close friends and everyone in between and they all helped in different ways.
Please PM me if you want to, I'm listening
Jumpy-Jello-@reddit
OP, please go check out a face to face SOBS meeting before, uh, _checking out._ It might be enough to show you the trail of destruction you'll leave behind if you do this instead of getting help. The resources in other comments are also very helpful.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I’ve already tried to get help.
Jumpy-Jello-@reddit
What have you tried?
Y_ddraig_gwyn@reddit
what’s rarely discussed is that suicide is an immensely selfish act. People usually reduce their cognitive burden with comments like ‘no one will miss me’ and ‘they’ll be better off without me’. What happens In fact is that all the pain and sadness held by the subject is simply passed to the family, worsened by guilt and sadness of their own. It may ‘solve’ the issue for one person, but by ruining the lives of others. There is a place for assisted suicide - contrary to the unethical timewasting by the opponents to the recent bill - but these are managed in a collegiate manner and are not planned and undertaken in secret. Suicide offers a toxic legacy that swamps and diminishes any attempt at estate planning.
Glittering-Round7082@reddit
It's easy to make a will without your husband knowing.
Just go to a solicitors and ask them to write it and hold them. They can act as witnesses too.
Co-Op do a fairly good will writing and holding service although I would avoid them for Probate.
The problem for you is going to be who is going to act as executor?
Someone needs to make sure that the will is enacted in the event of your death. If no one knows the will exists how can this happen?
The solicitors can do this as well for a fee, it's called probate.
In short you are going to have to tell someone so they can do this and retrieve the will when the time comes.
And someone is going to need to tell the executor you have passed and where the will is so they can start the process off.
Also point to note if you own a property as joint tenants with your husband then ownership of the house passes to him after you pass, it's can't be given to anyone else unless you own the house as tenants in common.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
I’ve already checked the house situation and we are joint tenants, not tenants in common. So that’s all good.
Another commenter just said that the Co-op can provide an executor too.
Glittering-Round7082@reddit
They can do probate. But they aren't very good at it. A huge backlog after the hacking incident and extremely over worked staff.
I used to work for them and wouldn't recommend them for probate.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Sorry, I’m really thick. What does probate actually mean?
CrumpledStar@reddit
No you're not. It's the legal process others must go through when somebody dies. For example, sorting out money with banks etc., sorting out assets e.g. house(s), dealing with specifics in the will.
Pretty miserable process as the last thing people want to when they lose a loved one is lots of paperwork.
Take care of yourself OP.
Glittering-Round7082@reddit
It's the process of sorting out your affairs, it's called probate because the executor has to apply to the court for a deed of probate. Once they have this they can legally deal with your assets, IE pay any bills, collect in all the assets, pay off any debts or taxes that need paying, then divide them as per the will.
sid351@reddit
If you're looking to get a will written, behind your spouse's back, that will also stand up to scrutiny, do not use a free will writing service.
Regardless of that, a will can be written in complete isolation. Your spouse doesn't need to know you have one.
Why you would do this behind their back is a nonsensical mystery, but you can, and it's easy to do.
Royal_Community_9626@reddit
What evidence do you have that a free will writing service won’t stand up to scrutiny? Sounds like you’re talking about stuff you know absolutely nothing about.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
It won’t need to stand up to scrutiny, particularly. I just want to make sure he gets everything as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Plastic-Collar5721@reddit
I hope you’re ok. I used co-op legal, they talk you through everything and can provide an executor. Cost about £150.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Oh, they can? So it doesn’t need anyone you know to know?
Plastic-Collar5721@reddit
I’m not sure, I imagine someone would have to know that you have a will and where it is stored but maybe not? Check with them, I know they keep a copy
Aggressive_Menu7271@reddit
The big question is why dont you want him to know? You can get a solicitor to write a will gir free if you do it through a charity. October is usually free will writing month. We did ours and left a sum of money to the charity ( once the time comes)
auntie_eggma@reddit
Why are you trying to hide this important life thing from your life partner?
packthesuitcases@reddit
OP, I went through some truly awful stuff in the last few years. I genuinely couldn't bear another minute of it at some points. I forced myself to keep going day by day, and this year things have miraculously got better in ways I could never have imagined. I feel like a different person. The saying 'this too shall pass' is right. Please speak to your GP and your husband. Xx
Feeling-Bluebird8413@reddit
You aren’t thinking of ending your life are you? The way you are talking in the comments is a little concerning. You want to know he will be looked after when you are gone, but you don’t want him to know you’ve written a will? That seems very strange.
Tylia_x@reddit
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
shelleypiper@reddit
And if you have a life insurance policy, this won't pay out to your husband for suicide, so that's an additional reason, on top of many many others, why you should protect yourself to protect your husband.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
They do after 2 years.
Boleyn01@reddit
You are of much more value to your husband and loved ones than any life insurance.
exit_to_the_left@reddit
I was think exactly that as well
LJ161@reddit
Op, please consider speaking to heath care professionals and MIND. What you're planning is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. You being gone will not make anything easier for anyone I promise you this.
Chelz91@reddit
OP just to echo what’s already been said. There is so much life to live. Reading through your posts you still have a young family and I’m sure they would be devastated to loose you. My DMs are open if you want to chat to another lady and just let it out… there are many support services available to you and I’m sure you are very loved
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Oh, they can? So it doesn’t need anyone you know to know?.
Psychological-Key189@reddit
Huh! I can answer this one! I wanted to get a divorce but as I have a disabled daughter I wanted to protect her interests just incase something unexpected happened. Previously we’d had mirror Wills.
I went to a new solicitor, who deals with Wills, explained my situation and she drafted me up a new Will which was signed and witnessed and lodged with her firm but not registered. As I am dealing with my divorce at the same solicitors they are aware of my existence and hear from me regularly, therefore if anything happens they will know. My daughter knows the name of the new solicitor. I’m planning on changing my Will again once the divorce is settled, then I will register it.
shpdoinkle@reddit
I created my own will a couple of years ago, “just in case”, before having major surgery.
I used https://www.freewills.co.uk, and it cost me nothing. The website will guide you.
I had a couple of friends do the witnessing, and I was not obliged to tell any other parties that I didn’t want to know.
The process for me was really easy, but my affairs are very straightforward. If there are any complications at all, you’d want to consult a professional. Again, though, I don’t imagine any reason why your other half would need to know if you don’t want him to.
TheMediaBear@reddit
yeah, check the small print in that Will, they are often made the executors of the will and charge a fee for doing so.
Also, they aren't free, they use your data to see if they can sell you something else.
I used to work for the parent company of them.
shpdoinkle@reddit
Thanks for the heads up. I read it through at the time and didn’t see anything to concern me. I named my sister as executor, didn’t part with any money at all, and the will was signed off by their people.
I accept that “free” refers only to the lack of money changing hands at the time, but any efforts to sell me other products have fallen, and will continue to fall, on deaf ears.
As with anything that has legal ramifications, individuals should do their own due diligence when engaging such services.
I just needed a quick and cheap solution at the time, in case I died on the operating table.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
That’s brilliant. Thank you so much. Exactly what I was looking for.
Princes_Slayer@reddit
https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/death-and-bereavement/diy-wills-what-you-need-to-know#:~:text=The%20main%20risk%20of%20writing,look%20into%20using%20a%20solicitor.
ExternalAstronomer17@reddit (OP)
Thank you.
TheMediaBear@reddit
As someone that used to work in the estate planning industry, it's extremely easy.
You can literally write it up in notepad/word/any writer software, print it off, then sign it and date it in front of 2 independent witnesses.
They need to be adults, but they cannot be named in the Will, as in they can't be receiving anything from your Will.
They will also need to sign/date it. This is to show you did so of your own free will and not under duress. Best to put their mobile/emails on it as well so they can be contacted.
Free online or charity wills can be done, however, they usually aren't free. There will be something in there that makes them the executor or something that leaves them a donation.
However, legally, even without a Will, if you are married, it all goes to him anyway unless otherwise specified, and even with a Will, other people can contest it.
General_Knowledge881@reddit
This website might help: https://reasonstostay.co.uk/
danmingothemandingo@reddit
Are you OK? Forgive me for the blunt question, but have you had any thoughts about killing yourself?
Princes_Slayer@reddit
Contact any solicitor that offers Will writing service. Explain to them what you are doing and that you prefer nothing be posted to home so email or you’ll collect papers from their office. They might ask why but it sounds like you want to do this with an element of good intention as you mention wanting to make things easier for him if you die before him. They will have someone in the office act as a witness, and register it
Monday0987@reddit
You need legal advice
qualityvote2@reddit
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