In honor of tax day, what sucked about our childhood
Posted by ProfessorOfLies@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 229 comments
I generally love how positive this sub usually is about our shared experience. But complaining can be fun too, possibly cathartic. So let me ask you all: what sucked about time in the 80's and 90's?
My first thought is how hard it was as a kid yo do any kind of research on my own. While teaching myself to program I had to literally ride my bike miles to a Barnes and Noble to read through C++ books to learn how to program my first graphical video game. I remember going back in one day because I would forget specifics and had to go back.(We were allowed to read the books at B&N without buying at the time. No idea if this is still true)
whiskeytown79@reddit
Cars with metal seat belt buckles that got as hot as a branding iron when you left your car in the sun. I think I still have a GM logo on my skin somewhere.
wisdomseeker42@reddit
And no air conditioning so it was windows down and your hair whipping around smacking your face unless you had it in a pony tail!
whiskeytown79@reddit
At least the family car we had at the time had those triangle windows you could use as air scoops if you opened them more than 90 degrees.
enters_and_leaves@reddit
I can still recall the smell of my first third-degree burn.
misskellycupcake@reddit
Fun fact: the foil surrounding a Hershey's kiss will short out the fuse for the cigarette lighter if one falls down there
2gecko1983@reddit
So will a coin.
unethicalposter@reddit
Core memory unlocked, I recall burning my finger playing with the cigarette lighter, then my mom or dad yelled at me while I was crying about it to close the car door (we were stopped and no one in the car) then I slammed the same finger I burned in the car door...
Weekly_Library9883@reddit
Metal seat buckles and cigarette lighters built character!
caramelpupcorn@reddit
Those seat belts combined with those vinyl (or whatever faux leather material) car seats on a hot day! I swear I'm the only kid who liked those; the heat instantly made me relaxed and fall asleep.
whiskeytown79@reddit
And combined with those short shorts that were the norm in the 1980s... a recipe for burned legs, then sweating, then being stuck to the seat.
FullPrice4LatePizza@reddit
Smoking sections in restaurants. I do not miss those one bit.
lawduckfan21@reddit
I don’t miss it.
Also, I kind of miss it 😂
TheTemplarSaint@reddit
I don’t miss it in enclosed spaces. I DO miss whifs of it at specific places. Like sporting events/stadiums, fairs, stuff like that.
That smellscape is part of the “experience” for me. It seems more “bland” now without it.
lawduckfan21@reddit
Yes, I guess that's what I'm referring to. Definitely don't miss actual plumes of smoke I have to walk through; more like that kind of "lived-in" experience that made some places almost feel more cozy.
TheTemplarSaint@reddit
Yep! Part of the ambiance. I don’t really notice it missing, but when it is there it’s like my brain lights up and the experience is in vibrant full color all of a sudden
supergooduser@reddit
In 2016 I visited my uncle in oklahoma and they had one. I had lived in NYC where smoking had been banned for like 10 years. I still smoked at the time and was like "lemme enjoy the novelty" it was SO fucking gross.
catsoncrack420@reddit
I think all of the women and my gfs of NYC and surrounding areas were so happy of the ban, cause of the hair complaints. And going out to smoke outside of winters was a comraderie thing sorta. The group , hey you got a light, yeah band's good tonight, blah blah.
tres-vip@reddit
In the 1980s, I was on an international flight from California to England that had SMOKING ON BOARD.
MartialBob@reddit
If you want a nice little time capsule of that watch the opening scene from the first Mission Impossible movie where the message self destructing was covered up with John Voight smoking on a commercial plane.
dcgrey@reddit
When the greeter would say “We’re full in non, is smoking okay?” and your family would just no problem instead of “If we wanted smoking, we would have eaten at grandma’s.”
Constant-Industry262@reddit
Going to a club to see a band and having to take a shower afterwards to get the cigarette smell out of my hair, definitely don't miss that.
Max_W_@reddit
I had a mini-conference at an Elks Lodge last week. It was so odd to have that faintly familiar smell of stale lingering cigarette smoke.
OrganicAverage1@reddit
The bullying I endured scarred me for life.
airportspongebath@reddit
I’m with you. We made it. That whole “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” thing can go kick rocks as far as I’m concerned. Sometimes whatever doesn’t kill you just hurts a lot and sucks. Glad you got through it, scars and all.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
Whatever doesn't kill us should teach us to fix it so no one else has to go through it again
RaphaelSolo@reddit
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" what a load of crap. Too many of us didn't make it out of the 90s alive because of this.
Dreamingofapastlife@reddit
It’s taken me 20 years of therapy to realize understand that I am a worthwhile human being, no matter what. And dammit, people like me!
Adrasteia-One@reddit
I'm so sorry. From a fellow former bullied kid, you have my sympathy. I've been trying to practice the recommended idea of forgiveness of everyone who has ever wronged me. Not to absolve them of what they did, but to release the hurt from myself.
discountErasmus@reddit
Yeah, and just the violence in general. I had to fight a decent amount and I'm not really a violent guy at all. I got mugged, I knew people who got shot, shit was unreasonable.
Gwendolyn-NB@reddit
Right here with you. My RSD is insane, always cranked to 11 or 12.
Bubbly_Wave_4049@reddit
I'm so sorry. 🫂💙
AshDogBucket@reddit
Not being able to understand my queer identity. Getting made fun of for kissing girls and being ashamed of it. Having no frame of reference for what bisexual even meant. Never meeting anyone who shares that identity. Watching how the world treated people who were in same gender relationships and internalizing that there must be something really wrong with that.
Ok_Marketing_476@reddit
I'm glad that young people today also learn about Asexuality.
It was hell when I was in middle school and high school ages and trying to figure out who it was acceptable to have a crush on to simulate what all the other girls were doing all while thinking there was something wrong with me.
I knew I wasn't gay because I didn't feel like that about girls either.
It sucked.
Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit
I was really lucky in that one of my best friends in high school was a no f*cks given flamboyant gay man. Really helped me see through all the bs.
We're still friends. He's happily married to nice guy with a house in the 'burbs. Happy endings all around, thank the stars.
AshDogBucket@reddit
Awesome. I went to Christian high school. I had a closeted gay uncle but did not get the benefit of having other queer folks who were out and proud. In my circles, being gay meant being kicked out or leaving.
Fangerguns@reddit
Homophobia was so common in the 80's and 90's it was hell growing up even a little queer or different. It was very difficult to ever be yourself if you have been conditioned to fear being beaten up or bullied because someone might think you are gay.
2gecko1983@reddit
One of my best friends in late elementary school had two family members who were gay, and the “resident” bullies of our grade gave her absolute hell for it when they found out. It was my first ever exposure to homophobia.
I moved cities shortly after this happened, and teachers at my new school were quite “concerned” about why I had such empathy for gay people. It got worse when I wouldn’t explain why out of loyalty to my friend.
AshDogBucket@reddit
Not to mention going to hell.
Adrasteia-One@reddit
Being shamed by the teacher in front of the class for making a mistake. Still makes my blood boil that they thought that was the appropriate way to address it.
Ok_Marketing_476@reddit
I was in KINDERGARTEN and there was an assignment where we were supposed to paste a slip of paper with our home address onto a coloring sheet with a mailbox on it. The teacher made the two of us who didn't know our addresses stand at the front of the class as a punishment for not knowing.
Fuck you Mrs. O. if you're still alive, I hope you have bad gas today.
ClockworkJim@reddit
I had one teacher do this to me.
If I can find her grave I would take a shit upon it.
airportspongebath@reddit
I still remember the guy’s name and I’d probably piss on his ashes if he was cremated.
animus218@reddit
My teacher who did this was an old, bitter, alcoholic, divorcee. Still wrong, but as an adult the context makes you really realize that kid you didn't do anything wrong and it was just a badly behaved pretend adult.
Adrasteia-One@reddit
Good point. I wonder how many of them had shitty personal lives and took out their bitterness on kids. A-holes.
airportspongebath@reddit
In retrospect, as an adult who’s known SO many deeply, deeply flawed people who ended up in education… it’s an astonishing percentage of them.
No_Custard_6481@reddit
Yes!! Being called dumber than the floor tile bc I was not good in math. Told by my other teacher I would be working in the field (as in a slave) instead of being able to wear an antebellum dress in front of the whole class.
Adrasteia-One@reddit
Whoa, that was just low. Many of them had no shame back then!
whoisbill@reddit
Went to Catholic school. In grade3 we did the multiplication tables. Each student had to go up to the teachers desk and rattle off an entire table, by memory. If you got 1 wrong. Just 1. You had to stay for detention. Talk about pressure and also learning the wrong way.
cellrdoor2@reddit
I’m pretty sure that I have dyscalculia and of course didn’t do well in math. My first grade teacher hauled me up in front of the class and told everyone not to play with me unless I could answer math questions correctly. The kid next to me had a problem with obesity and she told no one to play with him until he learned how to skip. WTAF?
whoisbill@reddit
Insane
caramelpupcorn@reddit
I remember referencing a food item that is common in my native culture and not in American culture and a teacher just stopping the lesson and calling me out for my absurd answer because "nobody would have that in their house." Listen ya miserable lady...!
_bibliofille@reddit
The refusal of teachers to allow kids to go to the bathroom, and only getting a tiny sip of water twice a day aside from the half pint of milk we got at lunch. Now kids have water bottles and I assume parents raise more hell when they find out their kid pissed or nearly pissed their pants because they weren't allowed to go.
Elevenyearstoomany@reddit
I got detention because I started bleeding through my pad during Spanish in the late 90’s. I explained to my FEMALE teacher what had happened and still had detention because the social studies/foreign language department policy was no bathroom breaks. Cool, we had 90 minute classes.
downhereforyoursoul@reddit
Ugh, I pissed myself in kindergarten because a teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom at lunch. It was humiliating.
_bibliofille@reddit
Fourth grade here. I begged. She sent me to the front of the class to read a paper. I tried so hard but couldn't hold it. She lied to everyone and told them I did it for attention so I had to go to the guidance counselor. Shitass teacher.
downhereforyoursoul@reddit
That’s fucking sadistic.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
You would be surprised how the war on kids going to the bathroom is still raging on
_bibliofille@reddit
My parents ended up raising absolute HELL and got me a doctor's note that I was to be allowed to go when I asked. The stupid thing was my elementary school's classrooms had bathrooms in them and I never abused the privilege. I went and came right back out and was in no way a problem student.
Derrick_Mur@reddit
Adults (at least the ones in my orbit) didn’t seem to give a shit about bullying until I was in high school. Elementary school and middle school, as you might guess, sucked as result of that apathy
Elevenyearstoomany@reddit
I especially enjoyed them making about how YOU had to change to stop someone from bullying you. s/
airportspongebath@reddit
Jesus, how many times does a kid have to come home from school in fucking tears before you start taking it seriously?
Derrick_Mur@reddit
Mom cared, but initially dad said to grow a thicker skin. The teachers, by contrast, were aware and ignored everything. A couple of the bullies were a teacher’s kids, so that may have been a factor as well
CheesaLouisa@reddit
I still can’t wrap my head around teachers just ignoring it, even when it was happening in front of them.
airportspongebath@reddit
Half the time it was the fucking teachers doing it too…
StaceyPfan@reddit
Flashbacks to my 5th grade English teacher.
Gian_Luck_Pickerd@reddit
I'm 99 percent sure one of my teachers was straight up anti-Semitic towards me but I could never prove it. And I'm not even Jewish
FlySecure5609@reddit
My teachers said I deserved it. 🤷♀️
airportspongebath@reddit
Same. When I was in elementary school they said it was because I could spell. God, I wish I was making that up.
FlySecure5609@reddit
I was an odd kid and my teachers really didn’t feel like dealing with me 99% of the time.
80s_angel@reddit
I had a similar experience. My mom also seemed disappointed by my inability to “fit in”.
FoppyRETURNS@reddit
"What did you do to start it!"
airportspongebath@reddit
“I got shoulder checked into a locker out of nowhere. I guess I should have been teleporting between classes, my bad…”
OllieFromCairo@reddit
Oh I can. My experience was pretty much the same.
Derrick_Mur@reddit
“Boys will be boys”
DBE113301@reddit
I purposely hid the bullying I received at school from my parents because I knew that, if they made a complaint to the school, it would only get worse. When I was in the second grade, my mother found out that a kid six years older than me had been bullying me on the bus. She called the school and complained. The kid was given a warning, and then the bullying got worse. The teachers didn't care. The bus drivers couldn't care less. After that, I just kept everything to myself.
Constant-Industry262@reddit
Ugh. The only time the school bus drivers cared about what was going on was when they thought the kids were getting too loud or if you weren't at your stop on time in the morning. I got bullied and assaulted, but there was no point in saying anything.
airportspongebath@reddit
Oh the dreaded “warnings.” AKA “paint a bigger target on their back.”
junglegroove@reddit
I spent my entire 6th grade in bathroom crying and was forced to see A psychologist to go to HS/middle school.
The psychologist just played games with me and realized that it was just a lack of friends.
junglegroove@reddit
Sticks and stones with break you bones and fuck all the way off with that noise
Northern_Lights_2@reddit
We got beat up on the bus every day, hit, pushed out of seats, made fun of, backpacks taken. My sister and I were the only two kids on the bus from our school. All the buses gathered at this bigger school and then a bus took maybe the 10-15 kids that went to ours on to our small school. My parents said it would just make us stronger. It just made me feel really, really angry and helpless.
Derrick_Mur@reddit
Dad was a “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” type of parent. “You need to grow a thicker skin” was a common refrain too
PMmeHappyStraponPics@reddit
I beat up so many bullies...
Like, I was fed up for being picked on because I liked math, I had a good belt in karate and a short fuse, and I wasn't afraid to take a punch from a 9-year-old, so I throttled a lot of kids in third grade.
But I still tried to have restraint. I didn't pick fights.
My principal didn't care. We had the new age zero tolerance -- any fight meant that both kids were punished equally.
As soon as I learned that, the gloves came off.
Ackapus@reddit
Oh, I LOVED that "zero tolerance" policy.
Right, like, bullying was glossed over and ignored until someone blew their stack and fought back.
At that point, the bullies didn't care if you were capable of fighting, because the instant overt violence became a thing the teachers would break up everything and yeah, everyone got punished, so now you got to spend detention WITH the bully or have your parents ground you for getting suspended.
Great idea. Something something "good intentions", right?
FoppyRETURNS@reddit
We were the last generation to get hazed. Yet, we weren't assholes ourselves, didn't torture those younger than us, and now every minor thing is a huge fucking problem!!
cmojess@reddit
One school I went to treated me as the problem for “not fitting in” and some of the teachers also bullied me. I remember one day I had to stay late at school running laps because I was physically incapable of serving a volleyball over the net on a regulation court. I was 10 and had broken both arms just months before. They were bright red from all my failed attempts, and every failure added two laps.
flamingknifepenis@reddit
Fucking hell, man. This.
I was bullied mercilessly from fifth grade through all of seventh grade. Mocked, pushed, hit, had my stuff stolen, etc. Mom would just tell me it was my fault for “not trying to make friends” with the bullies and get mad when my jeans got ripped. Teachers wouldn’t do anything, school district just shrugged.
End of sixth grade I realized I was on my own, so I started doing martial arts. Last week of seventh grade my main bully hit me in the head with a textbook and the teacher ignored it, so it was time to throw down.
Apparently three years of documented abuse isn’t worth school district intervention, but the abused putting the bully in an arm lock and dropping him on his face **is.**
On the plus side, while I can’t say my former bully and I were friends after that, he was remarkably friendly in a way that bordered on respect.
OkBaconBurger@reddit
The Satanic Panic.
Nerdy kid here and the religious fear and guilt over things I liked was crazy.
StaceyPfan@reddit
The teen program at my church showed a video in the middle 90s that pretended Satanism was a real thing.
OkBaconBurger@reddit
“And never ever just give away kittens or puppies. Always sell them. Satanists don’t like to spend money and that way they can’t use your pets for blood sacrifices.”
2gecko1983@reddit
“You can’t root for the red team! Red is the color of the Devil!”
Dude, please just let me watch Nick Arcade in peace.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
Yeah and then in the 90's it resurfaced.over magic the gathering
thewalruscandyman@reddit
Being a nerd wasn't cool yet.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
But we sure showed them
thewalruscandyman@reddit
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ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
Awwww RIP
StaceyPfan@reddit
Didn't know he died. He was part of the Carradine acting family.
thewalruscandyman@reddit
He died on my bday this year, actually.
Lindenismean@reddit
Just missing the big mental healthcare push that came around in the second half of the 90s.
username24583@reddit
The lacking of any mental health concept from depression to mania and ADHD.
Can't focus in school? You get to have a cardboard box put around your desk so you cant be distracted or go work in the principals office, getting spanked, or having to go to a transitional grade because you cant work fast enough to keep up.
whiskeytown79@reddit
A lot of things were treated with benzodiazepine class drugs, which later research showed had such an addiction and abuse potential that it often did more harm than good. But they were seen as a miracle pill at the time.
Oddly, pop culture and popular belief often demonized the people for taking these drugs. People who were finally gaining some ability to navigate their own lives instead of having crippling depression or anxiety.
Lindenismean@reddit
I’m not sure it gets talked about much, but in the late 90s, early 00s we had stuff like The Sopranos come along that really helped normalize therapy. Like here’s this big beefy mean guy going to therapy, I guess that makes it ok. It was a massive turning point.
drainbamage1011@reddit
"Are you ok?? Just cheer up." Thanks Mom, you cured my depression.
airportspongebath@reddit
“You’ll be okay.”
I wasn’t. I’m not.
DiaDeLosMuebles@reddit
Definitely doing research for a paper. Having to spend hours reading through books looking for source material to cite by literally going page by page.
Other things sucked but feel endearing now. Like "we weren't always connected" yeah that sounds cool, but when my ass got separated from my family at Universal Studios, I was wandering the park for hours all by myself.
Delivering pizzas without GPS was not the easiest.
Drslappybags@reddit
Honestly, I loved research papers. I feel like that's what I really went to college for.
StaceyPfan@reddit
I hated writing papers. One reason I didn't go to college.
geekgirlwww@reddit
I worked at a pizza place through college one guy there could do directions over the phone to other drivers by memory he’d been delivering pizzas so long.
Sodamyte@reddit
This was my job as a kid. Whenever we were taking a road trip I was supposed to memorize the directions so my parents wouldn't get lost
VaselineHabits@reddit
I was also the "navigator" during road trips by the time I was a teen. Before that, I'd read my parents my grandma's thoughtful, descriptive, handwritten directions.
Speaking of, I kind of miss reading cursive and I feel like a scientist having to "decipher" it for the "kids" (20 somethings) now.
Apricitic_Alleycat@reddit
Air pollution laws weren't as strict as they are now, so the air quality was bad. The sky would sometimes look hazy brown. My lungs would hurt when I breathed after playing outside for the day after breathing all that air in.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
I remember seeing smog clouds over LA and Manhattan
Apricitic_Alleycat@reddit
Yes, I lived/ still live in L.A. county.
momofwon@reddit
The casual, everyday sexual harassment and misogyny that people engaged in without consequences. Things are still not great, but they’re miles better than they were when I was a young kid and teenager.
nuskit@reddit
Ooh yes. The unwanted groping bu strange men started happening around age 9, just as I was starting puberty. It only increased through the years, hitting peak catcalls and touching from 11-19. But, you know, "boys will be boys" and "he only hits you because he likes you" and "stop being dramatic, there's no way someone that old is messing with you."
I know there can be a lot of mistrust of men nowadays, that makes decent men afraid to even talk to a woman, but there's a reason women choose the bear -- we all have a lifetime of being harassed, assaulted and told who/what we should be.
yellow_pomelo_jello@reddit
Seriously. The attitude was that if you thought a man was being creepy, your mind was just in the gutter.
downhereforyoursoul@reddit
Currently, two of my favorite podcasts are doing series on Jimmy Savile, and well… The very worst people can be doing the most vile and disgusting things in plain view, and while everyone knows, it’s like either they don’t let it rise to the level of awareness that would mean they’d have to deal with it in some way or they were complicit.
I’m not so sure anymore that things have gotten much better.
SquirrelEnthusiast@reddit
In sixth grade (91) my classmate sat down on a bench in home ec next to me and other girls, spread his legs in gym shorts and said "hey ladies, I'm open!"
It shook me and wondered why at the time. I feel like now, I would have known to tell an adult. This kind of shit was normal.
Constant-Industry262@reddit
Lack of acceptance and understanding about neurodivergence and gender fluidity. I have a couple of Xennial friends who came out as non-binary once that became more widely known and I know a lot of people who were diagnosed as either autistic or ADHD when they were middle aged; I've thought about getting tested as well.
PatchworkGirl82@reddit
I liked my house, but I hated living in a neighborhood that was too dangerous for pedestrians. No sidewalks, too many hills and corners. I wanted to live in a suburb like on the Adventures of Pete and Pete.
MyKidsArentOnReddit@reddit
Unfortunately, not much has changed there.
Gwendolyn-NB@reddit
The daily bullying because I was "poor" in relation to my all my classmates. No one gave two shits back then; even when I took my own life (and lived to tell), it was just another day.... and then I became bullied because I was the kid who couldn't even kill themselves properly.
Theres a reason I've only ever been back to my home state/town less than a dozen times in the 28 years since I left.
MyKidsArentOnReddit@reddit
I only hope you're doing better now.
No_Custard_6481@reddit
Hugs!!
Working5daysaWeek@reddit
The shaming of mental health. My sibling still feels shame in needing anti-depressants and/or anti-anxiety medication. My Mom denies that her anxiety is a problem. When I went on anti-depressants and spoke with my cousins about it, I was told I should never tell people. The fear that it would somehow "end up in my permanent file" was instilled in me over and over again.
Thirty years later, I tell everyone I know (and some I don't!) about how a daily anti-anxiety medication has changed my life. No shame.
2gecko1983@reddit
I was shamed so badly for crying that eventually the shame & anger at myself that I felt for crying would just make me cry 10x more. It was a vicious cycle that, unfortunately, I still struggle with.
cellrdoor2@reddit
That grown ups didn’t really listen to kids about important things. I had a friend who was sexually abused and no one would believe her for years. Also, when I was in middle school I narrowly missed being abducted, pulled into a car by some random sketchy 40+ guys. We told our parents and counselors at the school and no one did anything. We were told that we must be exaggerating. Years later it turns out that there were massive sex trafficking operations in that area. Scary stuff. I remember being so scared and upset about it and swore I would never do that to my kids.
a_solid_6@reddit
I guess that's why we watched so many videos and presentations about "stranger danger"-- they planned to do fuck all if anything actually happened to us, so we better not get snatched.
Wendy-Windbag@reddit
They made it our problem.
"Here watch this video, kid. My work here is done!"
a_solid_6@reddit
Lol pretty much!
Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit
That's the thing about helicopter parenting people forget.
Are parents being overprotective these days? Yes, but also nearly everyone from our generation has a very real stranger danger story.
Allureme@reddit
Took a long to get over it, then a few years ago found out my sister was telling people in our family about it. None of my cousins have said anything, so of course I wonder if I was the only one.
____AMOK____@reddit
They still don’t. I was just going to take it to the grave I was abused by the babysitters sons, but gave in and told my parents recently. My mom got mad I told her???????
cellrdoor2@reddit
Same. I’ve done some therapy and there is a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents that was very helpful. It both made me feel seen and helped me to understand more where my parent’s reactions were coming from.
airportspongebath@reddit
That’s fucking awful. Hey, I know it’s just anonymous strangers on the internet, but we hear you, if nothing else.
No_Custard_6481@reddit
My mom was mad too! I’m sorry you were treated that way also!
____AMOK____@reddit
Ugh seriously? Sending hugs
Bubbly_Wave_4049@reddit
Hugs to you and I'm so sorry that happened to you and sorry your mom reacted that way, that's awful. 🫂
airportspongebath@reddit
I almost got pulled into a van when I was a kid. Described the van and the person driving it to my folks and they did NOTHING. Our next door neighbor was a sheriff. This was, like, around the corner from our house. Nothing happened. Literally nothing.
I’ll never forget breaking down in tears telling my mom about the first time I almost offed myself in the bathroom one night the next morning (I was 13). She listened and cried and that was it. I never saw a counselor or therapist and we never talked about it again. Notice I said “first” time. That was just the only time I bothered bringing it up after that.
The craziest part is I had what passed for “good” parents, considering the fucking standards of the time. And, y’know, in most ways, they really were. They just… no one listened to them about anything growing up so how would they know how to do that with me? That’s what I tell myself, anyway.
Filbertine@reddit
No health insurance—not supposed to get sick or hurt because it would be too expensive
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
I didn't have insurance till I was in college. Didn't have dental till 25. Its sheer luck I am still here
Filbertine@reddit
Same here—except no dental till I got my first full-time job six years ago lol. An angel has been watching over us 😂
misskellycupcake@reddit
Being a latchkey kid and forgetting your key.
The idea that girls couldn't have ADHD.
The last of the parents who hit their kids.
babaganoosh30@reddit
That our age group was a giant guinea pig for food additives that gave us majoir health problems later in life.
misskellycupcake@reddit
Rip trans fats
Verbull710@reddit
They're Generally Recognized As Safe
By experts 👍
FoppyRETURNS@reddit
FDA approved
MyKidsArentOnReddit@reddit
If you were gay, weird, autistic, adhd, nerdy, or in some way different you had no support group and no community. You were alone in a world where mistreating people who were different was not only tolerated, but encouraged to a certain extent.
giraffemoo@reddit
What sucks about childhood is that if your parents suck, you can't get away from them.
As an adult if you end up in a shitty relationship, you can just leave them. Of course, it's not always so easy, but at least the law is in your favor and you don't have to fight for emancipation. You can't emancipate yourself from parents that just "suck", but you can totally dump a boyfriend that sucks.
I knew my parents sucked from a young age. They favored my older sister, because she was quieter, cleaner, and better at school than I was. It is soul crushing to live with parents who are always trying to force you into this box that you will NEVER fit in. My sister was textbook "type a" and I think that's great for her, but that's never going to be me and it wasn't fair that my parents held her up as an image of perfection that I was meant to emulate.
I was an apple, my sister was an orange. It just wasn't fair that I was being asked to be something that I couldn't be. No matter how hard you try you can't get an apple to taste like an orange.
Anyway, you don't have to put up with that bullshit as an adult. Not even from your own family. As a kid you are forced to endure it as long as it is not provable abuse.
JackBlackBowserSlaps@reddit
Being taught to just tough it out in any scenario, hide our feelings, and be a man. No mental health awareness, and being neglected because we were quiet and didn’t cause problems.
DailyShowerCry@reddit
Fear of quicksand, wedges, the old man from Poltergesit 2, and not getting to try out for double dare
Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit
I'm still pissed that I haved been attacked by ninjas at any point in my life.
Hollywood promised me ninja attacks.
Lou_Skunnt69@reddit
Stuff wasn’t nearly as cheap or as easily accessible. My folks would lose their ever loving shit over a broken dish or glass.
Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit
Yeah... doing research...
Also my mom died from brain cancer when I was 7. That one's pretty high up there.
You were never encouraged to read a book at the B&N and not buy it, they just took away the armchairs to discourage it even more.
Fortunately the B&N Cafe exists.
airportspongebath@reddit
(In response to your edit) Yeah, this got unintentionally heavy. Came here to talk about dialup modem noises and I guess the floodgates opened for some of us. But we survived this long, no reason we can’t keep going.
I got a silly one: “shoe envy” being like, a REAL thing. People actually gave a shit if you wore “Pumps” or Jordans or freaking soccer shoes or British Knights or whatever. I know shoe culture was and is still a thing but we were just showing up in whatever our parents felt like buying us. Status symbols they were NOT.
dsp_pepsi@reddit
Missing episodes of a TV show was the worst. You had to wait months for a rerun, or hope one of your friends recorded it on VHS.
Yellow_Curry@reddit
Omg I still remember setting the VCR to record a season finale of Macgyver, and of course SOMETHING happened and it didn’t end up recoding. And yea it was years until I finally saw that episode.
Lopsided_Orange_2177@reddit
I hated how you had to go outside and move the TV antenna around all the time when you wanted to change channels.
dsp_pepsi@reddit
We had a fancy motorized directional antenna that could be rotated by a dial next to the TV. I almost knocked my dad off the roof when he was cleaning gutters.
TrixieBastard@reddit
Okay there, Richie Rich! 😜
dsp_pepsi@reddit
lol nope. It came with the house and my parents resisted cable for 5 years after we moved in because it was too expensive.
_bibliofille@reddit
I can still hear ours.
Flat-Philosopher8447@reddit
Focus on the Family, Quiverfull…there was (and now really is) some deep seated and damaging dogma in evangelical circles that was just starting to gain traction
More_Bluejay9938@reddit
All that damn milk
TrixieBastard@reddit
Getting the belt, even though it wasn't forceful. I doubt my skin even turned red except for maybe the first time. The psychological part, though? The fear? That was bad enough.
Food stamps being those huge, colorful, and totally conspicuous slips of paper, rather than the nice, discreet card system they have today
Smoking indoors being allowed literally anywhere, including the hospital
Getting stuck with a parachute Donatello when you wanted a parachute Raphael
A complete stranger walking past your front yard and telling you that your parachute Donatello is a boys' toy 😒
sweat-it-all-out@reddit
B&N? I guess that's an option when there isn't a library nearby. Try struggling through some Funk & Wagnalls at home.
FoppyRETURNS@reddit
Being poor. Then when I got a career during the recession, people hated on me for having money.
Dickrubin14094@reddit
Maybe all the bullying most of us endured is why we’re looking out for the next generation. But damn, why in the F couldn’t teachers see it or intervene? Not only did they not see it, they would most of the time shower praise on the ones doing the bullying.
Example: Simone would violently get shoved out of their seat during class. Yes, sometimes it was me and sometimes it was someone else. Each and every time we would get yelled at for making a disturbance! Not the shover. Ugh.
jackfaire@reddit
Trying to write to actors you liked. I've had genuine conversations online with actors as an adult.
When I was a kid trying to send a fan letter telling someone how much their work meant to you felt near impossible because there wasn't really a good "here's where you can send a letter" address for most actors.
missed_sla@reddit
The shame attached to getting reduced lunch. Bringing out the punch card. I'm so glad my state does universal free lunch.
MillenniEnby@reddit
Also back when I was in elementary school (and I think middle school?) the free lunch option was either a peanut butter & jelly sandwich or a peanut butter & marshmallow fluff sandwich. Full/reduced lunch kids got a typical hot (well, warm) cafeteria meal.
plantverdant@reddit
While he was doing our taxes, it dawned on me that my dad would never know my birthday because he asked me every time. He laughed when I replied that I couldn't remember what I was doing that day but what's your excuse old man.
smokeshack@reddit
The rampant homophobia was not so great.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
How much it was just part of how everyone talked is disgusting. Using "gay" as a catch all for something bad can stay in the past
Foothills83@reddit
Yah. We played "smear the queer" often. I didn't even really know what the name meant until later. Adult me is fucking horrified.
moonbunnychan@reddit
Child abuse was so normalized that nobody really did anything about it. Even I thought getting hit by my parents was just totally normal. My spankings weren't just a pop on the butt, they were being hit with a wooden board. So hard that more then once it got broken on my body.
tres-vip@reddit
Bullying, parentification, left to fend for myself, racism (am non-White)
mattinglys-moustache@reddit
In the 80’s/90’s if you didn’t get along with or didn’t fit in with the kids at your school or who lived right by you, there weren’t many other options.
mondomiketron@reddit
Dad was in the army, after I turned four, we moved every two years. I kept this up until adulthood until my son was born. Now I've been in the same house for 16 years.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
I wasn't a military kid but my dad moved a lot (poor). But at the same time I had some stability staying mostly with my aunt. My adult life has been a TON of moving due to life milestones and a messy divorce. Finally after 45 years I have what I hope is my permanent home. Moving sucks
King_of_Lunch223@reddit
This whole fucking thread is triggering...
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
Yeah, my heart it breaking for many of our siblings. I originally thought this would be about just like walkman skipping, but damn. I hope this is at least cathartic for people sharing truly tragic events that they have lived through.
Dr-Alec-Holland@reddit
Losing your save on a huge paper or project. Happened to me once when lightning hit the library I was working in and power flickered. Lost the best 8 pages I’ve ever written. The rewrite was not the same.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
OMG yes this. Especially in high school when I had papers I wrote saved on floppy disk. I took me about 3 corrupt disks and lost papers before I realized that my calculator had a magnet in it that was ruining the magnetic disk and even after explaining this to the teacher they didn't understand what I was even talking about.
wayoverpaid@reddit
https://youtu.be/c72d4-LpilM?si=ojXqvCGgkuyx1UeR
A problem universal enough to get an ad
mesosuchus@reddit
I had a library card and access to both city and university libraries
she-dont-use-jellyyy@reddit
And that was a thing that sucked?
mesosuchus@reddit
I don't understand their expression of suckitude. The 80s and 90s are pre-anti library culture war BS. Books be flowing
she-dont-use-jellyyy@reddit
OP clearly didn't have the same kind of access that you did. I didn't even live in a place that had a public library, much less a university or a bookstore.
ProfessorOfLies@reddit (OP)
My barnes and noble was like 5 miles away. My library was about 35 minutes by car away. It also didn't have books on programming
mesosuchus@reddit
If you are in a market large enough for a a B&N you had public libraries
she-dont-use-jellyyy@reddit
I wasn't in either. :) I'm not sure what your point is. OP made a post about things that sucked for them and you bragged about how much access you had to libraries? Ok.
mesosuchus@reddit
There is a lot wrong with you statement
HighSeasArchivist@reddit
Writing research papers. They are the one thing that would keep me away from the red pill.
SnooEpiphanies2931@reddit
Right this second I could get in MY car, go to the store, and use MY money to buy MYSELF an entire chocolate cake and eat the ENTIRE thing.
Would I hate myself? Sure. But I could do it. Couldn’t do that when I was a kid.
Drew5830@reddit
There was a lot of casual racism. For example I was strongly encouraged not to play with anyone with any melanin in their skin by pretty much everyone and it wasn't until I was an adult that I realized why.
Demetan2016@reddit
Adults, a large minority of them. Selfish, narcissists, misogynists homophobic racists. Born in 1980 here and my kids have their own generational troubles but things got better when us xennials and millenials became adults. Most of the adults when I was a kid were alcoholics that treated kids like shit, told racist jokes, were uncivilized, loud screamers that scared the living crap out of me.
locomuerto@reddit
Dehydration to toughen you up
Same-Manufacturer773@reddit
I moved around a lot. If I lost a phone number or address of a friend, I lost them forever. Social media helped me find a dear friend after 20 years of searching. Turns out he was looking for me too.
Budgiejen@reddit
I was autistic and obviously not diagnosed. Female to boot.
My mom thought everything was my fault. The lack of sleep cycle, me being “weird,” I was doing all of it intentionally. I was in trouble a lot.
Accadius@reddit
Everybody has ADHD except the rich kids.
Budgiejen@reddit
Chronic bronchitis. I had it every winter thanks to indoor smoking.
Thamnophis660@reddit
I think as a society we swung too far in the opposite direction in certain ways, but school could be fucking rough. Bullying only became a concern when I was about to graduate, teachers often turned a blind eye to it, would sometimes blame the victim and certainly some of them got away with playing favorites. A lot of them did. Real dick moves for educators to take. That doesn't mean though that they're entirely to blame when a kid doesn't do well in class, that's what I mean by swinging too far in the wrong direction.
I also remember being far more propagandized and taking some shady unexplained cognitive tests while in school.
IndomitableAnyBeth@reddit
When Tennessee revamped their child protection laws in the 70s, they intended to allow carers to be able to explicitly allow other adults to physically discipline children in their care by signing a simple contract. But there was an errant negation and some person in charge of making sure legislation made sense carried it throughout, so the exception got written backwards. And the first judge upheld it, foolishly counting on the legislature to quickly fix its mistake. Guess what didn't happen?
Till the mid-90s, in Tennessee, the only way an unrelated non-felon without sexual intent could be legally prevented from striking a supervised child in a way that didn't result in hospitalization was if a carer got them to sign a contract or there was an incident justifying a restraining order.
When I was very small, a crazy lady got obsessed with me and did several illegal acts but since I was older than 2 and younger than 12, assault and battery weren't among them since we had no legal contract requiring her specifically not to do that since my mother was with me, not even though she distracted her by purse-snatching. An ADA informed us of the state of affairs and suggested if we wanted such an incident to be chargeable for anyone new, consider not putting me in a shopping cart but having me run away, that that was a case she could prosecute. Utterly insane. Informed the rest of my childhood.
OhWhatever_Nevermind@reddit
Invalidation of my thoughts and feelings. Being told to go to my room when I was upset. “If you’re going to act that way, go to your room.”
psycho7d8@reddit
Asking an adult a question and you taking it in as fact because Aunt Jenny went to college, so she must be smart. Then you carrying that knowledge around and spewing it out as fact for decades until someone corrects you or you googling later only to know that your Aunt Jenny was trolling you.
F@#% you, Aunt Jenny
AnotherRaveWeirdo@reddit
Adults being assholes to kids.
Sodamyte@reddit
That adults, and it didn't matter who, were allowed to just hit you anytime they felt like it and our parents let them as if we deserved it.
psycho7d8@reddit
100% this
ShowMeYourHappyTrail@reddit
My stepmom clearly favoring her biological children. Also, getting grounded from anything fun for getting a C on my report card. So, in four years of high school there are 16 graded quarters. If I got even one C I was grounded from anything fun until the next report card. If I got a C on the last quarter before summer break I was grounded all summer. I'm pretty sure my entire high school career the only time I wasn't grounded was that first quarter of the year when the stakes reset for the school year. I get the C up in the class I had it in only to let some other grade slip trying to do that. I graduated with an academic honors diploma and a 3.7GPA, but that wasn't good enough.
Skipper0463@reddit
If you missed an episode of a show you probably wouldn’t see it for months. Movie trailers showed up as commercials so you’d have to watch hours of tv to catch a 10 second clip. If you wanted to know something and your parents didn’t k ow and it wasn’t in an encyclopedia you just had to live with not knowing. A lot of cars didn’t have air conditioning. Not knowing where your friends were if they weren’t at home because cell phones weren’t wide spread. Getting a crush on a girl that lived in a different area code so you couldn’t call her because it would be long distance. Paychecks were printed and you’d have to deposit them at the bank. Being bored with no internet.
Weekly_Library9883@reddit
I honestly can’t think of anything major…at least compared to what kids these days go through, I think we had it fairly easy. Some of these things, like bullying and mental health, haven’t actually improved.
timmytoads@reddit
Sketchy people all throughout the Catholic Church (to say the least)
Dry_Inspection_4583@reddit
I remember when you could record programs off the radio.
I wasn't into computers, didn't own one, but I remember listening thinking, that's weird.
AshDogBucket@reddit
Lack of common knowledge about basic obvious indicators of child sexual abuse and mental health issues.
BritOnTheRocks@reddit
I loved learning from this book, and I bring it up every chance I get because it was my bible for years. Looking back, I can’t believe my small town library carried it. I probably owe my career to it.
What did suck was waiting 20 minutes for games to load on casette tape. But then that probably motivated me to learn how to code.
reillan@reddit
I'm autistic and was a chubby kid, and was badly bullied for both. It still shapes how I approach the world today.
Konnorwolf@reddit
Nothing really bad, just annoying. Moving a dozen times within seven years and some places were not great. Money had a lot of up and downs.
edasto42@reddit
Being emotionally neglected by my family really was a kick in the dick. That sucked.
brittanytobiason@reddit
Slamming fingers in car doors.
ivegotmrcracker@reddit
How selfish our parents were/are.
TacoNomad@reddit
Sharing What sucked about my childhood would really spoil the mid here, ya know?
Grammarhead-Shark@reddit
To extend on the research thing - I literally could only use books in the school or public library and rely on what they had!
I remember doing an big school project in Year 7 (circa 1992) on our first Prime Minister and I was limited too literally two books that I could dig up information about him!
Kids these days and the internet don't know how lucky they have it *waves fist at clouds*
a_solid_6@reddit
The way people could just hit us when they felt like it. Like a teacher giving licks to the whole class because things got unruly when she left the room but she didn't know exactly who it was. In second grade I had a teacher who literally picked a boy up by his neck.
I_AM_DEATH-INCARNATE@reddit
I took a programming class in high school.
The classroom didn't have computers in it.
Amazing_Recording_31@reddit
Sucked when cds skipped and when batteries on the diskman ran out
BillyDMountain@reddit
Being bullied and my dad playing talk radio in the car for the most part. He listened to both right and left wing talk radio. Most of it bored me to death except some of CBC's Saturday morning programming which was often more comedy oriented and less political.
whiskeytown79@reddit
It's hard to think of anything that isn't colored by hindsight. I can't remember much that I remember thinking "this sucks" at the time. The 1980s was a pretty optimistic decade for kids in general I think.
piscian19@reddit
Sometimes Id come and theres no food or parents.
Huge-Gear3704@reddit
My parents and teachers