Somehow you find yourself in an overnight lock-in at a garden centre. What are you doing overnight until normal opening hours?

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hippiehappos@reddit

Screaming because it means I’ve been locked in at work

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retailface@reddit

Eating the cake, sniffing the candles and using all the hand creams.

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Amonette2012@reddit

I will be asleep on a large sofa with all of the blankets.

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Beartato4772@reddit

The garden centres near me have great cafes and sell books and comfy garden furniture.

I’ll be just fine thanks.

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mynameisjodie@reddit

I want a cushion swinging chair the long ones that you sit and it swings

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Tattycakes@reddit

Ah, to sit and read a book on one of the fancy sun loungers with a cake and cider from the food section, you’d have to wrestle me out of there

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Beartato4772@reddit

Right? This is an ultimate non problem!

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Jenpot@reddit

Is it one with the cafe selling homemade cakes? If it is then I'll clearly be sitting on a deck chair, eating cake.

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PrinceBert@reddit

Right now the idea of having an all nighter reading a book locked in a garden center with access to their cake sounds amazing.

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Hambatz@reddit

And ridiculous priced local wines and spirits

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You could make a really cozy fort, with all the blankets and slippers they sell in the gift shop. Get some scented candles on the go, a book and some tea and cake. It would be ace. Bonus if there's some chickens and goats to visit, and have a laugh at the hideous garden ornaments.

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PrinceBert@reddit

Oh man the blanket/garden furniture fort you could make........ This could be amazing.

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90210fred@reddit

And a nice fry up for first thing? Although if have to turn off the TVs with the annoying adverts

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ChipCob1@reddit

Don't forget the dusty lemon sweets in tins.

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No_Anything4115@reddit

Mine have a good section with instant ramen bowls. I guess I'll probably grab some snacks and pay back in the morning

What else are you really going to be doing otherwise

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weatherwaxs_broom@reddit

Can I book this lock in as a proper break? It sounds amazing. Even a nice breakfast in the morning if it has a village shop attached.

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LaurenNotABot@reddit

Definitely raiding the cafe but then sticking my fingers into all the Oasis .. (not the band 🫠)

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Top-Cat-a@reddit

Something involving planting a lot of marijuana seeds in all the potted plants and then waiting to see what frivolity happens when everyone whose bought a plant gets free weed.

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socialoph@reddit

Frolicking

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BlueFungus458@reddit

Making myself a pot of tea and a cheese toastie.

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stupre1972@reddit

Weed killer Watering can A gentle wander amongst the lavender bushes - in bloody hate lavender

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rewindanddeny@reddit

What's your beef with lavender?

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stupre1972@reddit

Smell makes me feel sick

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CthulhusEvilTwin@reddit

Rearranging the pansies and using two different colours to spell BOOBS in the display

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MrsPuffStoleSnellie@reddit

WE CUM TIT VILLAGE

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Mammoth-Passion-413@reddit

You beat me by 1 hour

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chez2202@reddit

This is excellent.

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ServerLost@reddit

Feel like a garden centre contains all the tools required to escape a garden centre. Ladders mainly

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uttertosser@reddit

Go over to the food section fill up on biscuits and jam, couple of garden centres near us sell ales with novelty names … sink a few of those. Look around for the garden games section play big Jenga or Swingball I cant afford those big tree palms so can i lift over the fence into the field alongside the garden centre so i can come back tomorrow.

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Eskoala@reddit

Hide and seek.

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lalajia@reddit

Need answer fast?

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cowbutt6@reddit

Having a midnight snack from the café.

It does have a café, right?!?

Otherwise, guerrilla gardening.

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rewindanddeny@reddit

Nice. I'd go for guerilla cafe-ing.

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msully89@reddit

3 tabs of LSD and talk to the plants

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TobblyWobbly@reddit

Finding seeds for the most intensely orange flowers in the place, and writing Janey Godley's best-known phrase all over the rock garden.

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BeneficialMatter6523@reddit

Deadheading.

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PrincessPK475@reddit

This guy gardens.

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Sharp_Budget_4416@reddit

Rearranging all the little plant tags so every plant is labelled as its most dramatic possible name. "Corpse Bride Petunia." "Regretful Hydrangea."

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Thunderoussshart@reddit

My local one is fairly small and unexciting but they do have a cafe and a cat. So I'd probably get comfy with the cat, the two of us raiding whatever food is left in the cafe

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Minimum_Possibility6@reddit

Go the cafe eat some food, go to the expensive sweets section get some of those

Then go the craft section and make one of the wooden diorama house things. Then go sleep on a comfy lounger and wrapped up in a blanket from the Edinburgh wool mill and some warm socks from the outdoor section

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Kittygrizzle1@reddit

Eating all the scones.

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connectfourvsrisk@reddit

My local has some of the best gluten free scones around. As a gluten free person you get very picky!

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insertitherenow@reddit

Changing barcodes on expensive plants and coming back later to buy them cheaper.

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Enough-Ad3818@reddit

"We don't sell giant blooming hydrangeas for 25p"

"That's what the barcode said it was"

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Ned-Nedley@reddit

I'd just probably leave, not like they're fort knox.

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arabidopsis@reddit

Is this the standard haunted centre or the rarer inhabited by nocturnal cannibalistic gnomes?

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Snoo_23014@reddit

Just chill with the gnomes

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Dabbles-In-Irony@reddit

Chillin’ with my gnomies

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Snoo_23014@reddit

Please. Help yourself to my upvote.

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Truewit_@reddit

So this lock in, was it intentional and is there booze?

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BG3restart@reddit

My local garden centre has a huge drinks section, wines, spirits and craft beers and delicious snacks to go with them. I may never want rescuing.

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DollySheep32@reddit

Probably lots of those tiny single-serve wines in the café, local flavoures gins and micro brews in the random gift shop they all have by the tills.

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Truewit_@reddit

Aye that’ll do. Drunk lawnmower race it is

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Even_Passenger_3685@reddit

No, drunk lawn mower JOUSTING!

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Lopsided_Snower@reddit

In

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BigWork2739@reddit

Only miniature bottles of flavoured gin. No mixer.

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ICreditReddit@reddit

Wanking on a cactus.

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clickyclicky456@reddit

I love how this whole post is basically 50/50 between "eating all the food" and "shitting"... except you, apparently.

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Crochetqueenextra@reddit

I'll be snacking on the super expensive crackers and pickles whilst drinking overpriced beer all on super expensive china. Then I'll check if the hot tubs are hot. I'll be bedding down on some super nice garden cushions.

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TapeDeckSlick@reddit

Slapping compost

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clickyclicky456@reddit

I daren't look that up on urban dictionary 😬

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nintendofan2_0@reddit

Praying they have left food in the café kitchen

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chez2202@reddit

My local garden centre has won many awards over the years and is listed as one of the top ten in the UK.

It has cafes, alcohol, plants, a very nice deli counter and patio furniture, including swing seats and hammocks.

So if someone was stupid enough to lock me in there overnight I would water the plants, cook something nice, have a bottle of wine, rearrange the rockery plants into the shape of a cock and balls, then grab a nice blanket from one of the textile areas and get some sleep in a display hammock until someone arrived the next day to let me out.

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DollySheep32@reddit

Raiding the gift shop bit for all the fancy booze in the overpriced hampers then settling down on the also overpriced garden furniture to scroll reddit on my phone.

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yaboicrackers@reddit

Hopefully it’s one of dose fancy garden centres that sells artisanal gin or some such piss and we can have a proper lock-in

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Different_Fall1391@reddit

Take a leaf (pardon the pun) out of my Nans book and fill a bag with cuttings of every plant I like to propogate at home.

Then eat cake on those comfy garden sofas.

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MoominMai@reddit

Making myself sick on pastries and cappuccinos whilst I stagger about smelling all the different flowers lol

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JoniDeadpool@reddit

Shitting in some weird places

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Physical-Crow-2154@reddit

Finding the kitchen and toilet

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Cool_Doubt2152@reddit

Eating all the nice cheeses, chocolate brownies and wine out of the gift hampers

Maybe lounging on the £5000 garden furniture

Light one of the mega barbecues so it sets the fire alarm off and then go home?

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