GenX Parents and youth sporting events
Posted by cricket_bacon@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 275 comments
As GenXers, there was no serious expectation for our parents to show up to our athletic events as we grew up. Little League, soccer, Pop Warner football, etc. Often we would ride our bikes to these events... sometimes our parents would come... but there was no expectation for parents to constantly show up for youth sporting events. Honestly, we didn't need the validation of a parent's attendance - we were usually doing sports because either we enjoyed it or our friends were doing it so we did it as well.
That dynamic certainly seems to have changed.
Not only is it the norm for parents to attend all of their kids' sporting events, apparently it is also a necessity to have parents in the crowd to constantly yell at players and referees.
I want to hope that those loud parents are Millennials... that a GenX parent understands how utterly ridiculous and childish it is to rant as a spectator at a youth sporting event.
Am I right? Are these just Millennials or do we actually have some GenX parents who forgot what it was like to let kids enjoy sports for the sake of sports?
Pretend-Ad8634@reddit
I went to all my kid's soccer and local cross country meets up to high school graduation and one cross country meet in college. I was happy to go.. I'm the youngest of four, so my parents were sick of all that by the time my turn came around.
Pristine_Frame_2066@reddit
I only yelled at a ref who did not notice a kid collapsed from an asthma attack on the field and many kids were still playing while said kid was trying her best to crawl to the edge of the field and her teammates were taking a knee.
No_Today_4903@reddit
I went/go to my kids games and matches most of the time. I have one still in school and he starts high school this fall. If he does a sport I’ll go as time allows. I’m hoping to be employed so we will see. My older two acted as if it was a crime against actual humanity if I had to miss something lmao and they played the same sport at the same time. My son was a senior when my daughter was a freshman and often played on opposite sides of the venue. I’d watch my son since it was his last year and if my husband wasn’t at work he’d watch our daughter. Oh my godddd. Sometimes he’d stand and watch our son too! She’d be so pissed that we didn’t watch her. We didn’t love her, we favored him. The drama. I’m like please stop this.
I played sports and my parents came occasionally and I was in colorguard and my parents came to like one show a season because it was the same thing every week. Tbf? I didn’t want them there. Lol I wanted to do and say what I wanted and not have them see me. My kids wanted/want me around constantly. I usually am and do what I can but to me it’s weird. Every kid has every parent, aunt, uncle, sibling, grandparent, cousin, anyone they’ve ever met there. Stresses me out. We have no family near us so it’s us and siblings when we can.
kayne_21@reddit
I didn't play any sports. Well, I ran track for a year just to get out of having to take PE, but I didn't really care about it.
I was in all the bands though. Literally all the bands available at my school. Competition marching band (2nd place national drumline my junior year, 12th place national band as a whole), concert band, pep band, jazz band, pit band for the theatre department, when the orchestra needed it, I played percussion for them as well.
My mom literally never showed up to any of my performances. I wanted to major in music performance (glad I didn't, I'd be more broke now). I don't really begrudge her, single parent trying to keep food on our table, but it still kind of sucked. I put a lot of work into it.
IDunnoReallyIDont@reddit
It’s an entire extended family event these days. Spring and winter concerts too. It’s crazy.
pochoproud@reddit
I tried to go to as many of my kids events as possible, but they understood that I had to work. I was obnoxiously loud cheering for my kids, but I was never the parent who was obnoxious to the officials or the opposition.
gumercindo1959@reddit
I played sports growing up and my folks caught a bunch of my games when I was a kid. But that changed when I got to MS and especially HS. They rarely went and yeah, it bothered me a bit but I was okay mostly bc I knew they were working and we didn’t have a lot of money growing up.
Fast forward to now - I try to catch my HS games as much as possible but some times I just don’t. There have been many games where it’s been drop off and pick up kind of thing. I’m just stretched too thin to having always been there. Do I wish I had all the time in the world to do so? Of course.
Sintered_Monkey@reddit
This is something that I actually bring up in therapy. My parents basically told me that I did everything wrong, and that was their idea of encouragement. I was terrible at sports as a child. My father only showed up once to soccer practice because he was forced to pick me up against his will. He told me that I sucked at it, and that was the extent of his support. So after that, I took up distance running, which I actually got to be pretty good at (ended up #12 in my state for cross country,) but I genuinely didn't want him there. My mother wanted to show up to watch me run, but we just were not the sort of family that did anything together, so I found that concept to be terribly, terribly awkward and uncomfortable. Dad had golf. Mom had her dinner parties and social life. I had running, which I had done for myself by myself, not for them. I did not want any of those circles to overlap. I asked my mother not to come because I was so uncomfortable with the idea, to the point where I would have quit the team if she had insisted.
For the rest of my adult life, she held that over my head. "You wouldn't even let your own mother come watch you run! How could you do that?" She never once asked me what she had done to make me so uncomfortable with her being there.
BethiePage42@reddit
There are parents who sit through every practice! I'm a drop and wave sort of gal, but one day I wanted to finish my audio book, so I thought I'd stay and enjoy an hour of peace...only to discover the other parents had all been staying and waiting in the hallways. How do they ever get anything done?
davdev@reddit
I go to all my kids games because I remember looking into the stands and hoping to see one of them and I rarely did.
I am at almost all of my kids games and I have coached them for many seasons as well. When I am the stands I am near silent and never question an official or coach (well, I do in my head, but it stays there).
AlsatianLadyNYC@reddit
Nope- Ran track. Never had a single parent watch my meets
velociraptoraccident@reddit
Mine didn't show up because there weren't any expectations. Mine didn't show up because they didn't want to. I played basketball from junior high through college and they showed up for one game.
Hefty_Debt_638@reddit
I played competitive sports growing up. I also have kids who played competitive sports. Today’s sports are next level bullshit. Kids training at 3 years old and it is their LIFE. Parents make it unbearable.
bigring@reddit
I ran cross country in HS. My parents never once watched me cross a finish line. As for parents now? No idea, I don’t have any kids. Wait a minute…
Candleforce-9728@reddit
My folks went to every activity we had. Games, plays, award ceremonies. They also come to all our kids’ stuff to this day. #notallBoomers I guess
Equivalent_Win8966@reddit
My dad was a single parent. Once I got to high school he did not go to anything because all of our games were right after school and he was working. I honestly never gave much thought to it. There were a lot of kids on the teams who didn’t have parents at games. I don’t remember parents ever being at any practices. My son has played sports off and on. When he was young, I went to everything. Now that he is in high school I go to as much as I can around my work schedule. I do remember parents getting kicked out of games when I was playing sports in grammar and high school.
vhalember@reddit
I don't attribute poorly behaving parents to a specified generation.
But yes, it's is an annoying problem.
Mundane_Professor596@reddit
I’m a GenX person raised like a millennial. My parents were obsessed with me. They came to every event for me and my brother and cheered loudly. Luckily they were well behaved. But it could be embarrassing
Single_Morning_3200@reddit
I stay quiet now, and then smile like a possum eating shit after my kids team Molly whops a team with obnoxious, yelling parents with noise makers.
wehavenamesdamnit@reddit
GenX parent here. When my kids played sports it was pretty much expected for parents to be at all the games unless something else very important was going on. And a lot of the parents/grandparents were pretty vocal and not in a good way.
Future_History_9434@reddit
My favorite team to coach was my son’s 4yo soccer team. The shouts were mostly “put your clothes back on, honey” variety. One game two kids started holding hands, running around together. Then more of them started holding hands, eventually all the players were holding hands, even with the opposing team. Don’t remember who won. I know I did.
Whatisthisnonsense22@reddit
I grew up on a farm. I normally had my mom at sporting events because living 7 miles from town was a little much on a bike, or out of town games could be 30-40 miles.
I went to every sporting/scouting event my kids had if I wasn't at work, kinda specifically because my dad went to about 3 or 4 my entire childhood due to his job and farm work.
Timely-Youth-9074@reddit
My GenX bro and sil go to Everything their kids do, even every single night of school plays. I don’t think they yell at coaches, though.
sippykup@reddit
I'm coaching at these events. When the kids were younger, some of the parents were kind of ridiculous, but the older the kids get, the more chill the parents seem to be. But I have probably missed like 5 out of like 600 games. I don't go because it's "the norm". I go because it's a blast.
Tastyfishsticks@reddit
Agreed I enjoy it and coach when possible.
Freespirit7979@reddit
Story time! Daughter played rec softball when she was younger. Think 8u maybe 10. Anyway, there was a girl on the opposing team that was a lot bigger than the rest of the girls. I mean this poor thing was roughly 10 and damn near 6ft. Now, as well all know, submitting a birth certificate is part of the registration process. We'll come to the game and PARENTS are questioning this young ladies age. Saying some damn offensive crap while she could hear. I had to stick up for this kid! In a nutshell, I told all of those parents they were shameful people. That little girl already knows her size and grown ass people should know better! It was eye opening at what people will say to a CHILD. Some of these sports parent are unhinged. Also watched and heard a dad berate his daughter every game saying some mean stuff. I went to all of my kids games. Cheered when appropriate, then we went home. It's astounding how many parents think they're raising the next super star. No Sharon, your kid is average too. Accept it and move on! ~sorry for my rant. This kind of thing is just getting so old...
TattedAngel711@reddit
I danced growing up. My Dad was at EVERY recital cheering the loudest!! My mom was too. Classes were always drop offs, but recitals and shows they were there.
My kids played ball. We were there for every game and practice. Because they had to be driven there. I didnt grow up where my parents weren't there. And I sure as shit was there for my kids.
ZetaWMo4@reddit
It’s for sure some Gen Xers acting a fool at these games. I had a Gen X man throw a brick through my husband’s window because our 8 year old’s team beat his 8 year old’s team in basketball. And this was in 2009. I’m a former baseball mom(kid graduated in 2023) and some of those moms were feral and mean.
gravely_serious@reddit
I'm a coach. Boys soccer. I'm tail end of GenX. Half the parents are older than me, and half are younger. Both shout unsolicited messages at their kids, other kids, me, and the refs. Some parents try to coach.
Individual_Corgi_576@reddit
As a kid at least one parent came to games or meets. They were also responsible for my transportation.
In high school I preferred they stay away.
I go to my kids stuff (also pre-high school) both because I’m their ride and because I enjoy it.
My wife and I have friends we made by meeting parents of other kids on the team. We still see them even though the kids are out of school.
When we’re at the games, most parents are generally pretty good about just cheering and saying positive stuff to the kids.
I have seen some parents who are trying to relive their glory days through their kids. Mostly I just roll my eyes.
At a soccer game a while back (the kids were 7 or 8 years old maybe) a couple of dads were really on their kids and yelling instructions to their kids. The coaches were on the field with the kids so their input was totally unnecessary. They were a few feet from me and I’d had enough, so I yelled to the kids too. I yelled “Hey guys, good job! Remember it’s just a game!” The dads shut up and left. My wife was annoyed that I interjected.
I routinely remind people that none of the kids are competing for scholarships to middle school.
Washjurist@reddit
My dad was always deployed to some third world shit show or DC. My mother was the type A+ personality, lawyer turned real estate developer builder.
Not only did she not have time to attend events, she didn’t have time to write notes if we were out sick or need out early for something. Her secretary or some else that worked for her would type the note and use her signature stamp.
My siblings and I took full advantage of this in Jr. and high school.
I know she sounds like a cold hearted bitch, but she wasn’t.
She adopted me out of foster care, basically because I had become friends with my baby brother.j. Mom found I was the only other kid that checked out a book on Buddhism when she went to pay for it after my brother lost the book. The library gave her my name and she determined to track me down.
Ironically my brother’s babysitter is the one that told her who I was. She told mom that’s the kid Joe has been riding bikes with all summer.
She met with my placement and social worker and a speed the weekend turned into to spend the week. Hey do you want to live here and I didn’t go back to care.
One thing she did sign was my adoption papers. Apparently my dad did too, but he was in the middle of a war zone. He got off the plane and asked can I meet my new son now? She at least told him or possibly sent him a memo.
I didn’t find out until mom’s funeral, that she would attend the first PTA meeting of the year and ask each group of room mothers what the cost of the planned activities was for the room each of us was in. She then wrote a check to cover the whole year’s cost with a little extra for every kid in the classroom with one of us.
The woman told this story apparently called my mother about helping decorating something for a spring party. My mother thanked her but said something along the lines ‘Honey thank you for the offer but I don’t do the creative crap. I make money, do you need help that way?’
For every team we play on she covered uniforms, team dinners every year we played.
I think my mom knew what she was good at and focused on that. There is an age gap between my sisters and Joe and me. I think part of my adoption was so Joe would have a brother just as nerdy as he was, so it was efficient and effective just like mother always was.
ManintheMT@reddit
Your mother sounds like a great person.
Washjurist@reddit
She really was.
foilrat@reddit
I must be different.
My mom made every single one of my high school soccer games.
She went to my brother's as well.
Both parents were involved in the theater department as well. Mom did costumes and Dad helped with sets.
Mom sure didn't yell at anyone, however.
gvarsity@reddit
I generally like going to my kids events but don’t prioritize it over everything else. Still I go to most of their sports and most of their performances. Mostly chat with like minded parents and chill. Can’t handle the ones aggressively invested in the outcomes.
mspuffins@reddit
my parents never attended a game or paid for lessons. they just didn’t care. my dad golfed a lot, never taught me or took me to a range. i would have loved it. i was truly the stereotype gen x kid that got locked outside all day and drank from the hose.
so as a parent i made sure my kids had every piece of equipment and we attended everything. probably overkill but we loved doing it and the whole environment around sports.
mspuffins@reddit
lol. you made it a full round.
my grandmother lived on a really nice course on an island in the south. he took me out to hit balls one night and screamed at me so loud that i never asked again hr was also a tennis player and supposedly a great skier. never took me or taught me anything. he had no use for a girl, and i was the only child. it was all about him. i don’t think it’s a generational issue, he was/is a self centered man. he always would brag about his friends kids tennis or horse riding skills. he was too cheap /stingy to invest in me.
so my kids played every sport they had any interest in. trainers clubs travel, skiing at age 4. 1 played college lacrosse, i guess that’s my therapy and probably live through them.
i hope i get to do the same with grandkids.
mutnik@reddit
The way my dad taught me to golf was to take me along one day to play 18 holes with him. I never swung a club before and we borrowed some clubs from the country club. He then got really frustrated with me because I kept missing the fairways. His only advice was to ask me why I wasn't aiming for the fairways. The only good part was at a par 3 over water he just looked at me and said "I don't know, just hit the ball." And he walked off to sit in the cart. It was the best shot I hit all day. It sailed over the water and landed 3 feet from the pin. I tapped it in for a birdie. Rest of the round was a disaster but at least I have that memory.
Wahoo-Is-To-A-Fish@reddit
GenX parent here. When I was kid, I am pretty sure my single parent had no idea what sports I was even in, much less came to any games / meets.
As a parent, I went to every game I possibly could for mine, but it was because I genuinely enjoyed them! Most of the sports were school-affiliated walk-on middle school stuff, and no one took it that seriously - we all were just proud of our kids for getting out there. In High School, it was more serious, but the parents were incredibly chill and respectful, but very enthusiastic for our team. One of mine only did 1 club sport, and I made sure I knew the parents and coach to ensure that no one took it all that seriously. That said, I know that all of this is a unique experience. I was eternally thankful always that the other parents had a very balanced supportive, yet not too serious, take on the whole thing. Then again, it's not like any of our kids were prodigies destined for greatness LOL. Maybe that would be different!
While at the High School or club games though, it was HORRIFYING hearing other parents and coaches (!!!!) talk to students the way they did. Sometimes it was trash talking us (the other team), but sometimes berrating their own kids !!
I kept having flashbacks to Breakfast Club and Andrew Clark talking about his father LOL.
lando-hockey@reddit
I see some of the most boorish behavior from millennial travel soccer parents. Those parents are the worst. They’ve never played usually either. I go to the corner flag and don’t say anything. It’s embarrassing. No wonder it’s hard to find refs these days.
cricket_bacon@reddit (OP)
This should be the basis for a Netflix series.
Why is this not already a Netflix series?
lando-hockey@reddit
Because Will Farrell did the movie…
Due-Active-1741@reddit
This is true.
music-fan-2025@reddit
I think Gen X oveecorrected for neglect. I prefer attending some but not all games. Dont people.have jobs or ever want alone or couple time?
Initial_Kitchen7869@reddit
Seriously. And some of the couples I know who were so wrapped up in their kids’s sports and activities non-stop don’t really have a good relationship with their spouse. Never did anything together without kids.
Ribeye_steak_1987@reddit
Yes my parents hardly ever showed up to sports or even those school programs. It was on me to get myself to practice.
As for the loud parents, I have witnessed a fellow Gen X er be an ass to their kid at sporting events, but it’s not the norm. And you’re right, it’s the younger ones yelling at their kid, the ref, or other parents. I hadn’t really noticed the age range of the loud mouths, but it all tracks with what you say.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Hell, my mother wouldn't even let me sign up for lessons for things I was interested in because she was too lazy to drive me.
I took ballet and tap for a year or so when I was 7, but that was only because my older sister was also taking classes there that were more intermediate/advanced, and the neighbor was switching off driving us. I would sit around watching their class before mine.
By the time I was in Jr high, once she discouraged anything I wanted to do, especially acting. Once she had her car in the garage, she was done for the day and acted likenit was a major effort to get it out again.
One time she told the school nurse to let me walk home from school with a 102 fever because she already put the car in the garage, but she ended up having to take me to the ER anyway because I was screaming in pain from an inner ear infection.
AriadneThread@reddit
Wow. Parent of the year there.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Indeed, thank you. I do not miss her.
AriadneThread@reddit
I agree so much. 4 years of swim team and can't recall a single meet that either parent attended. Not that I'm hurt about it, just wasn't done. Found my own rides. At away meets, arranged for own housing.
I do recall the coach warning us that we'd get kicked off the team if we were caught drinking 😆. Supervision complete.
nakedreader_ga@reddit
These posts are so weird. Maybe your parents didn't go to your events, by mine went to my events and my brothers. I had to sit through every high school football game that my brother was playing in the band at the halftime show. Soccer games for my other brother. And they all went to my dance recitals. I have a 15 yo girl who wrestles. I am there taking photos and screaming when she wins and consoling her when she loses.
Accurate_Doubt3426@reddit
only well-off people can afford to take the time off work for stuff though. My dad had his own business and my mom was a housewife so they could make it to most things, especially the important stuff. I can't imagine doing that on poverty wages in the US especially with the cost of living in most cities.
nakedreader_ga@reddit
And that's why these posts are stupid. Not everyone's experience was the same.
WelshRarebit2025@reddit
It’s not stupid to share experiences.
blindside1@reddit
My parents showed up to my events, my friend's parents showed up to theirs. So your base experience is very different than mine.
It has continued to be the norm of parents to attend their kid's games, we certainly do it for our kids. And unfortunately obnoxious parents are not some Millenial surprise, obnoxious parents have been a thing for as long as I can remember.
Champsterdam@reddit
My son is seven and he goes to his practices at the park alone and then comes home. This is what he wants and I agree, it’s his time to flex his independence. If it’s a big game or something special the parents can go support, but we need to be giving our kids their space for some things and now hovering.
TheCenterOfEnnui@reddit
That was not my experience. Parents came to my youth sports when I was a kid. Every game, one parent was responsible for having cokes for post-game. My mom got Chek cola, that stuff was awesome. Orange Chek. yep.
Melodic_Caramel1777@reddit
My parents rarely attended school events I was involved in. That was fine with me.
My husband and I made every effort to be at every game our daughter cheered at. Away games were the exception, as was cross country. No kids parents went to cross country meets.
The only time a parent got loud and nasty shouting at a ref was at a basketball game my daughter was cheering at. I can’t recall if she was with our school or the visiting school, but I absolutely wanted the floor to open and swallow me from second-hand embarrassment. The mom was finally told if she didn’t shut up, she’d be escorted out of the building. So awful - I felt bad for her son, too. This was over 15 years ago, I don’t know how old she was but she was definitely older than me. Could’ve been GenX Elder or late Boomer. Definitely not millennial.
DonegalBrooklyn@reddit
The games I can see. But every practice should be drop off. The sport is for the child. The parents whose whole identity is wrapped up in their kid's team are pathetic. The behavior of children in the god forsaken suburb I live in is so bad that parents have to attend practices (and cub scout meetings!). I used to have to keep my practice schedule and get myself back and forth. It made the sport FOR ME.
A_Tom_McWedgie@reddit
I coached my daughters in house league hockey - so I had to be at the early morning practices.
I’d look through the glass to the “warm room” of the arena, and there would be at least one parent for every kid there.
At tournaments, I would always ask them why they wouldn’t carpool - FFS, most of you are neighbours. They would always say they wanted to show their kids support.
The kids didn’t care, and none of the parents actually watched the practices.
You want to watch every game? Terrific.
Every practice? You are wasting your time and your gas. You are all driving SUVs - make use of the space.
Accomplished-Beat779@reddit
My mom never watched me play anything once. My dad sat in the car . We went to every possible game for my 3 boys
Caribgirl2@reddit
Did that bother you growing up? Were other parents always there?
Accomplished-Beat779@reddit
It didnt bother me as much at the time as when it was all over by the time I was 16. Then I wondered why my mom couldn't be bothered. But my wife played hockey as kid and her parents never went to see her once. Their loss I guess
ManintheMT@reddit
Kids are only kids once. I took advantage of every opportunity to watch my kids compete. I stayed out of way but was there for support. My son is graduating, when I attend the first high school football game next fall it just won't be the same.
MaddSkillzPosse70@reddit
My parents also never came to anything. But to be fair…I sucked. I wouldn’t want to watch that either.
Accomplished-Beat779@reddit
I sucked too but it would have been nice for my mom to go to one thing
vistaculo@reddit
Pretty sure that my dad sat in the car so that he wouldn’t get in a fight.
Accomplished-Beat779@reddit
Lmao yes
EmbarrassedAge7612@reddit
I was asked to assistant coach a friend’s softball team. I had previously coached my kids and won league championships with those teams.
The number of parents that came up to me and questioned why their kid was playing X position or lower in the batting order. I felt like I was coaching parents. I realized that was why I was asked to help. I was parent control.
We had lost a couple games in a row so we had a team meeting. We invited all the parents with the condition that they would listen to what the kids had to say. About ten minutes in one of the kids finally let loose and brought up what a distraction it is to have their mom and dad screaming the entire game. The kids all agreed that the parents needed to trust the coaches and just let them play.
We won every game after that meeting and ended up losing the in championship game.
I see a lot of GenX qualities in those kids and it gives me hope that they will be the generation that picks up the torch for us.
drsfmd@reddit
Nonsense. A parent not coming to a game was pretty rare. I'm pretty sure the first time one or both of my parents weren't at a game I was playing away games in D1 football.
I never missed one of my kids games until my daughter left for college. She's hours away playing D1 softball. I still follow every one of those games if they are streaming.
Your comment about parents yelling at players (other than cheering on their own kid) and umps is also strange to me. I've VERY rarely seen that happen, and it usually ends immediately with the parent being ejected.
Reasonable-Record494@reddit
My sister (elder millennial, 1983) has a kid who plays in a soccer league where parents are not allowed to coach or criticize from the sidelines. They can only clap and say "good try!" or "great run!" We laugh because my Boomer dad would not have survived this league. He kept up a steady stream of sideline commentary that started my first year of organized sports in 1983 and continued until my sister graduated high school in 2001.
WatermelonMachete43@reddit
My dad never came to any of my activities because he had no interest in them. My mom came to some as time allowed, but as I was the oldest of 5...it wasn't often.
I was thrilled to attend my kids' events and support their teams. I dont scream at refs or micromanage my kids, but do call out encouragement (to them and their teammates).
I talked to an older teammate of my second daughter one day and she asked me why I came to watch when my kid was obviously terrible at the sport (lol). "My parents never come," she said, "even when I made States." I tried to do the soothing, "I'm sure they wanted to be there but timing didn't work out with their schedules..." the girl laughed harshly, which surprised me and sge said, "my mom doesn't work. My event would have interfered with her TV show."
Showing up matters. They notice, just like I noticed when my parents didn't show up. Did I survive just fine without them showing up? Yes, sure. It would have been nice to have the perk of a parent interested in what I did. Maybe it's just me.
HighSeasArchivist@reddit
This does not track in any way to my experiences. Parents have always been a major part of sports from tee ball on up. No idea where you grew up, but even though we roamed the hills like everyone else, when it came to sports our parents were too involved sometimes.
Rude_End_3078@reddit
When I was in school my parents only ever once attended a sporting event. That was a swimming event and it was planned months in advance that parents would attend. Other than that NEVER.
With football you climbed into the school minibus and went to the field to play an opposing school. It was your team, your coach and the opposing team and their coach. You played and one or another team won and if your team won it got mentioned in assembly the following week. That was it. Hardly any show or a dance over it. Oh and they gave you orange slices during 1/2 time.
I mean in general my parents hardly ever went to any of the PTA meetings or anything like that. As far as my parents were concerned you went to school and did your thing and they went to work and did their thing and as long as you did OK and didn't get into any major trouble -> Aces.
Also help with homework? Ha - you have to be joking.
WelshRarebit2025@reddit
Yeah very similar to me
WelshRarebit2025@reddit
I’m older gen x. My mother would drive me but not stick around to watch a practice m. Later on my dad would drive me to skiing races on the weekend but then go skiing by himself for the day. When I was older I went to the soccer by myself on my bike. I hated the one or two rare occasions when my father came to watch. I think because he would be shouting at me to run faster. It didn’t feel like encouragement.
Even-Net7997@reddit
I think it’s weird when parents today attend every last practice and game of all of their children. No time or interest in adult things. It’s impossible to be friends with those types.
gcboyd1@reddit
My kid (who’s now almost 30) played soccer for a couple of years back in the day. It was definitely expected that at least one parent attended games, and while most people knew how to behave, there was one lady who yelled, “CONTEND,” all the time! Like, ALL the time! I made sure to not sit near her.
Also, I was mostly happy to get to go to his games? Like, my parents didn’t give a shit, but I liked seeing my kid and his friends play? It was nice?
OverlordBluebook@reddit
The loud parents were always there but there are just so many more sports now and more leagues etc then there ever was back in 70s 80s 90s. But yes I agree I do see parents hanging out during practice eyeballs on kids entire thing. Now I think it's fine when they are very young you have to be around but once they get to like 11 on up not necessary.
Rockonthrulife@reddit
My parents went to every single sporting event I participated in. Most parents did. I would question. Your parents values.
cricket_bacon@reddit (OP)
Question our parents' values? Are you new to the GenX subreddit?
Rockonthrulife@reddit
Parents who don’t want to watch their kids in activities or don’t support them are not parents. End of story.
kittyshakedown@reddit
Ummm. I think this has always been a thing. I’m a Gen X mom with Gen Alpha kids. They play lots of sports and usually my husband and I are there if not both then one of us. Both sets of our parents come too. Almost to every game.
But I don’t stick around for practices and always defer to the coach and refs because I’m not volunteering to take over.
It’s kind of like that for all the families on the teams.
Mostly it’s well behaved but there have been times people are asked to leave the game. And a few have been banned from attending. I guess people just get worked up because they are so invested but it’s really uncalled for…it’s not going to change anything.
My parents never wanted me to sign up for anything. They didn’t want to drive me all over. Lol and they got home late. So I feel like parents now are involved in a way they’ve never been before. My opinion anyways. Or my perception.
StinkieBritches@reddit
You might not have needed your parents there, but I was always so envious of my teammates that had parents attend their games. My parents never came to one single game and that really said a lot to 11 year old me.
Subject-Stuff-2829@reddit
As cool as gen X was, we invented some really dumb shit. Like helicopter parenting. Never letting out kids out of our sight. Being a taxi service. School pick up and drip off. Attending every single even they ever had such as practices, games, parties everything. Those perfect precious darling may never be left along. Its complete crap.
That and franchised mega churches (cults) we did that too. We should be ashamed.
AlleyCat0810@reddit
It hurts, but I agree with you. I’m ashamed of Gen X sometimes.
notevenapro@reddit
Not as nad as whoever invented gender reveal....
Subject-Stuff-2829@reddit
Yeh. We invented and rocked to some really cool stuff. AIC. Nirvana etc. Aaaaaaaaaand then Life Church. Whatever.
TheRave1972@reddit
TBH, I get why there's been the over-correction/over-compensation by Gen-Xers when they become parents. For all the romanticizing there is about us being free-range and/or latch-key kids, for some the experience was a negative. They became independent and self-reliant because they didn't get that care and support growing up - so being the chaperone, chauffeur, present parent to their kids is their rebellion against how they grew up.
I played little league baseball (badly) for three years. While I did practice in the backyard with my dad, my parents were otherwise hands-off, no pressure. I took myself to games since the fields were either at my elementary school at the end of the block, or across the street from it. They probably attended the first and last games of the season, and one or two in between. When it wasn't fun anymore, I stopped playing.
But for me I never begrudged my parents for not coming to my games or for letting/making me and my sibs (born between 1964 and 1975) take care of ourselves/each other because they both worked, a LOT, to build a home for our family.
Subject-Stuff-2829@reddit
100% I played soccer, basketball, music in highschool. Sure, my parents came to most games and shows. But otherwise I was pure Gen X. Free range. Independent. I have had a very very difficult time as a parent dealing with the incredible pressure to be at EVERYTHING for THE ENTIRE TIME for my kids. I absolutely love them and support them. But I do not get my own generations obsession with child worship. Its pathological.
spintool1995@reddit
My dad coached my little league team for two years and soccer for one, so obviously he was there. The years he didn't coach my parents would come to Saturday games and that was it.
I coached my older son's soccer team for two years. I had changed jobs and my schedule wasn't flexible enough to do the same for my younger son. I went to their games I wasn't coaching when time permitted. My wife usually went to the others but not always.
WaltonGogginsTeeth@reddit
I didn't want my parents to come.
Melodic-Movie-3968@reddit
My parents came to very few of my athletic or school events. My brother realized this and came to everything. I am Gen X and never yelled at kids at events. I was there as a cheerleader/silent observer. I can't stand parents who do that.
EstimateAgitated224@reddit
My mom went to all of my games, so I cannot relate there. But when my own kids played, I took a chair and sat away from the bleachers and anyone who wants to chit chat.
Crossfit46@reddit
My parents never went to any of my games. Most of the time one of the coaches had to pick me up. I go to all my kids games or events when I can.
Charming_Mud_9209@reddit
Honestly, I played youth sports in the 80s and 90s and I wish my parents hadn't come to nearly as many events as they did. I was a stereotypical Gen X kid, on my own most days until the street lights came on, spent most nights in my room listening to music and doing homework, etc etc. But the sports were almost more for them than for me. I ended up giving up sports for the most part in college, and only went back to them when I was out of college and on my own.
Now with my own kids, we go to most events, but we make a concerted effort to stress that the kids pick activities and do them because THEY want to, and we're just there to get them there on time and support them as needed. We don't harass them during games, don't talk about anything on the car rides home unless they initiate it. We're there to watch, enjoy, and get them what they need to be at their best with whatever they do.
Hedonistic_Yinzer@reddit
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but this phenomenon lies clearly at the feet of Gen x. We created this overbearing sports debacle.
Back in the 1990s I coached, then umpired baseball. T-ball all the way up to adult softball. This Insanity was happening back then, and the millennials were on the field, not in the stands. That was all us. T-ball parents were the worst, teenage boys. Baseball and girls softball were the best because I think by then parents had learned their place, then adult softball was atrocious too.
We go watch the grandkids play soccer, even though the older one isn't really interested and the younger one is too young. Their parents force them into it and we tried to go to a game or two a year. The field where they play has a large sign that says, " no college scholarship hinges on the games on this field" I find that brilliant.
Silent-Art4378@reddit
Same here, worst was basketball; I still remember one game when my son was 5 (1999), where the dad of the "star" player (remember 5 years old, meaning he knew which basket to head towards, which was more than the rest of the team), screamed at his kid, screamed at the ref, and at one point - I kid you not- ripped off his tear away sweats and tried to jump on the court "to coach". Fellow GenX parents were generally like "get a life " about the situation.
glasspheasant@reddit
My parents came to pretty much all my athletic events. I’d do the same if I had kids.
StillC5sdad@reddit
I'm still waiting for my dad to pick me up from hockey practice.
DramaticErraticism@reddit
lol, I remember many times biking back home in the rain after waiting around hoping they remembered to come get me.
Ok_Command_9808@reddit
I’ll ride my bike over bro, we can ride home together
StillC5sdad@reddit
I have an extra Fred Lynn baseball card and clothes pin if you need
cricket_bacon@reddit (OP)
Can't find a payphone?
StillC5sdad@reddit
The line's busy
healthywenis@reddit
I attended all my kids events because I'm an involved parent and I want to be there for my kids. Yes, I rode my bike and even took city transit to baseball practices and games when I was 10 years old, but that doesn't mean I didn't wish my parents were more involved in my life. I sincerely wish they were. It would have been nice to have them at games supporting me.
Parents yelling at coaches/refs is a separate issue and I can assure you "generation" has nothing to do with it, there are assholes in every generation, including ours.
fosterhamster@reddit
I am solidly gen-x and the reason I showed up for my kids was because I spent my childhood wishing my folks would show up for me.
It's cool that you didn't need that validation but generally, children want and need parental validation. It's sort of a cornerstone.
Ray_The_Engineer@reddit
My daughters (now grown) have made it a point to tell us that they appreciated us being there for events that they were involved with.
Potential-Pool-5125@reddit
I didn't have children by choice.
But I did everything in my power to ensure my employees could attend each and every one of their kids events, sporting or otherwise, because my parents couldn't have been bothered. I think it's important for parents to be there for their kids.
GardenBunnyBaseball@reddit
Thank you for this. Definitely a boss I would work my best for. 🫶
ContributionOk4015@reddit
My parents attended, or coached, all of my games/activities.
Zamphyr-@reddit
Likewise. And somewhere, they still have 40 yr old vcr tapes as proof.
iftheygivinitaway@reddit
We need a subreddit for those videos.
bavindicator@reddit
We GenX went from totally feral kids to the most overprotective, smothering, helicopter parents in existence. We swung the pedulum so hard in the other direction we tried to raise our kids an a Nerf world. Source, im a parent of a Millenial and a Gen Z kid both in their late 20s early 30s.
Ray_The_Engineer@reddit
My experience has been that if the kids have 2 GenX parents, one is often more "smothering" than the other. In our case, my wife was terrified to let the kids ride their bikes around the neighborhood, out of eyeshot from us, when they were 10 or so years old. I was like "They're fine." She said "Ok", and away they went.
GardenBunnyBaseball@reddit
I hate to admit you’re right but you’re right.
jay-2014@reddit
My daughter reffed flag and HS football. Parents have followed her to the lot to show videos! Then I found out they have to carry insurance of refs because parents are such A Holes. Refs get injured and knifed tires!! Parents doing this are all ages and their actions embarrassed and horrified the kids. Like just stop people. Sit down, clap and yell woohoo. Everything else … just stop.
hurricanePopsicles@reddit
I was assaulted as a hockey referee and found out assaulting a sports official before, during or after a sports game is a felony, at least in CA
TemporaryOdd8052@reddit
From my experience I noticed that both gen x and millennials behave similarly, could be that millennials influenced them perhaps...I also think that when it's your kid out there we all can get competitive.
PompousClock@reddit
Maybe it’s a regional thing? My Gen X husband and I have attended all of our Zoomer’s events, and I haven’t witnessed any overbearing parent at anything.
TXbergamot@reddit
I’m 50 and my son is graduating high school in May—I was thrilled to delete all the sports apps off my phone because so many of the parents were just obnoxious. Please know, I live in small town Texas and sports rule but ain’t nobody coming to recruit you 5’4 145 pound son.
His little league years were the worst.
Too many parents have pinned their retirements on their athlete children.
WindhamEarl22@reddit
I’m on the email list for scheduling and events. I’ll be damned if I ever get on the text threads or apps. I don’t need that BS. I’ll see if I wanna talk to you at the game, then I’ll get your number. Nope, no apps for me.
LedFoo2@reddit
My parents were at every sporting event until I reached HS sports. Even then, my dad would try and make those. It would take a lot, but I remember him yelling at the refs too. Not for me individually, but for overall bad calls. And he is the Silent Generation.
stvie0073@reddit
Agree. GenX and millennials have become a lot of things we dislike. Youth sports for one. Not only do parents now helicopter those events (which isn't a bad thing to have a parent attend kids events) but they are obnoxious and more meddling than ever. Kids often are now in multiple different leagues or sports per season. Summer? Forget it. More leagues that are often useless money grabs costing thousands of dollars. They are living vicariously through their kids and view them as a ticket to riches.
micstatic80@reddit
I'm at the young side of gen x. But my parents went to pretty much all my games. I go to pretty much all my kids games. I'm happy they came and I hope my kids are happy I come to theirs.
passesopenwindows@reddit
I’m on the old end of Gen X. My parents came to all of my brother’s baseball, basketball and football games. My dad coached them in Little League and my mom volunteered in the food stand.
sotiredwontquit@reddit
I’m solidly GenX. My parents were divorced but my mom was at all my games and all my bro’s. Most of the practices too, because it was a PITA to drive there and back twice. Where we grew up, sprawl was already a problem so everyone drove to anything that wasn’t their immediate subdivision. All the fields were town owned and not in the neighborhood subdivisions. At games, all the parents were there every week. There was a rotating “snack patent” every week.
LadySiren@reddit
Some of our helicoptering is for safety's sake. My youngest was obsessed with cheerleading when she was younger. School cheer, rec cheer, all-star cheer, we did it all, some of it simultaneously.
There's no way I would've allowed her to attend any kind of cheer-related event without me there, mostly because cheer is a wildly dangerous sport. My daughter was kicked in the head (accidentally) multiple times, almost broke an ankle, blew out her knee, and got so many bumps, bruises, and sprains that I was afraid that people would think we were beating her. It simply goes with the territory.
Had I not attended all of her comps and practices, there's a good chance some other parent would've had to take on emergency healthcare for my kid.
jaxbravesfan@reddit
I usually had at least one of my parents in attendance for my games. It really depending on their schedules. Once I hit junior high and started playing school sports, one or both of them would usually make it to a home game. It was rare for them to come to a road game. I played football, baseball, and basketball, and it was funny how my dad’s schedule interfered with him attending a lot of basketball games (he hated basketball) and my mom seemed to be busy a lot during baseball games (she finds baseball boring).
With our kids, only our oldest daughter played sports, and she played just about all of them from five years old through high school. Soccer, softball, volleyball, travel club volleyball, and she did martial arts. I wasn’t one of those parents who stayed and watched practices before she could drive, but I never missed a single game she played in. I was also never one of the yell at the players, coaches, or refs people. My wife, who is not a sports fan, attended her games when she was little, but once she hit school and club sports age, she’d come to the home school and club volleyball games, and her martial arts belt testings. Sometimes she’d travel to an out-of-town club volleyball tournament, but more often than not, she’d stay home with our youngest, who is six years younger than her sister. Our youngest was more into music and theatre, and we never missed a recital or concert. I just wanted them to know that they had a dad who will always support them in whatever they chose to do.
Intrepid_Card8858@reddit
My youngest was deep into martial arts and Highland dance competitions for quite a few years. I was there, yes, but I let the instructors handle everything and honestly, they were not accustomed to that. When the dance teacher especially kept pushing me to me a dance mom, I had to very firmly but politely insist that I was not going to do that. I would help backstage when someone was struggling with a costume or hair or something but I did not insinuate myself into that world as other parents did. I made sure my kid had everything they needed to succeed and then let them get to it. These were their sports interests, not mine.
It was interesting to see how it was almost an expectation that I would be heavily involved in every detail. Why, though? I was physically there and supportive but it's not my job to give notes, for example, on improvements etc. I'm just the parent!
Mikethemechanic00@reddit
Gen X with Alpha kids. I think it’s disgusting competition sports. We have friends who put kids in these sports at the age of 6 and up. Every weekend they travel to games and have practice all week long. They bad about scholarships and how good their kids are. I have told them the money they spend on sports would pay for college. These poor kids don’t get a break. One friend was going to go camping with my wife and kids for July 4th. They cancelled and told us they had a game. We told them they are not good friends after that day. My kids have tae kwon do twice a week. And one volleyball in addition. Every weekend is free from them. These kids don’t have a childhood. My kids are 13. We go on trips all of the time. We do family things. These sports nuts brag they spend family time and travel. That’s not the same thing. Sure my boomer parents never went to my track events. I was pissed. This did not make me want to put my kids in sports 24/7 and go to every game. Lots of us Gen X with Alpha kids are parenting Gen X 2.0.
Head_Trick_9932@reddit
Yep. My area is the same with travel teams. Parents have lost their homes paying for their kids sports.🤦♀️ One in particular at least got a college scholarship out of losing the home. Some take out a second mortgage. One got their car repo’d at a game lol. Organized sports in my area are a joke and I refused to go in debt for them. My son did do over a decade in taekwondo and is a 4th degree black belt. That wasn’t cheap but much cheaper than traveling teams.
Mikethemechanic00@reddit
Awesome parent
MrsSnuffleupagus764@reddit
There is a toddler soccer league at the complex where my kids had rugby training. 2 year olds who can barely walk. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. There are uniforms and teams. It's not just a soccer themed playgroup.
Burto72@reddit
My parents rarely came to my sporting events, and I never really expected them to.
shawncollins512@reddit
My dad frequently coached my teams and was at all of my games through the end of high school. I did the same for my kids, but I wasn’t shouting from the stands.
CommunicationNew3745@reddit
Today, the shouting from the stands is everywhere - not worth going. I can only imagine how the kids playing feel.
shawncollins512@reddit
The worst is that the people shouting are the ones who know the least about sports. When my son was playing soccer in high school, some people would just be shouting "Boot it" and "Kick it" the whole damn game.
cricket_bacon@reddit (OP)
Regardless of your knowledge level... just sit down, watch, and keep your comments to yourself (... or write them in your own substack).
ihaventgotany@reddit
Older GenX, born '68. My Boomer parents made me play baseball and football every year. They were never at a single practice or game. I think I could count on one hand the number of times my dad ever played catch with me, with any kind of ball. He bought me a pitchback so he could just tell me to go play by myself. They would keep me out of practices for whatever reason, so then I would be sitting on the bench for games because I didn't show up at practice. There were always parents in the stands or on the sidelines at games. I don't know if it was all the kids' parents, but I know it was never my parents. They made me play up until it reached a point where they'd have to pay up for better gear. Then they stopped forcing me to play. I hated those fucking games, so as soon as I could I never played again.
My kids are older Gen Z, or maybe Zillenials depending how you count it. I let them choose whether they wanted sports, or music, or dance, whatever. They both tried a few different things. And I showed up for them. They both centered on music, so I went to everything I could, every performance, every concert, every solo competition. I did whatever I could to help them to be better at the things they were interested in, but I never yelled, ranted, or otherwise tried to force them to do any of it. But plenty of the people I saw ranting away or pushing too hard were clearly GenX as much as anyone else.
Sorry, I'm probably off topic. This just brought up unpleasant memories for me.
cricket_bacon@reddit (OP)
Yes. Every time I hear that Harry Chapin song "Cat's in the Cradle" it reminded me to try and be a better dad than the dad I had. Sometimes I succeeded but have never been perfect.
Bucks2174@reddit
I rode my bike a mile and half to and from practices and games for years as a kid. Dad rarely came to a game because of work, Mom did some. I always played harder when Dad was there.
I helped coach my son’s baseball team up to high school and helped coach my daughter’s softball team serval years as well. Son also played football and daughter played soccer and ran track. I went to every practice and game in every sport I could make. Why? Because I rode my bike a mile and a half and back on my own and most of the time no one came to watch me. Why wouldn’t I want to watch my kids play? I played sports my whole life and never had more fun than watching my kids do the same.
jaharmes@reddit
As a GenXer, I was embarrassed when my parents showed up for any event. My father coached my softball team in the summer but it felt awkward when he showed up at my high school games (before you say that he was being an attentive father, he only showed up for softball because half our summer team played for the high school, he never showed up for field hockey, lacrosse, or basketball which I was fine with)
I just don’t understand the mandatory attendance for today’s parents but that’s what they choose to do, then have a good time. I think our parents saw our activities as a window of time when they could get things done either for fun or chores around the house, it was a break from us.
overarmur@reddit
I should be allowed to murder parents that bring a cowbell to any kids activity.
SirMellencamp@reddit
Funny you mention this. My kids played CYO sports for 15 years. I missed one game in that time.
RudyBega1@reddit
I'm an old genX with young kids (11 and 13). At their soccer games, the coaches have banded together to tell the parents, "cheer them on as much as you want. Leave the 'telling them how to play' to us please."
I couldn't agree more.
cricket_bacon@reddit (OP)
Those parents will quickly forget that guidance once their kids start playing in high school.
ShutYourDumbUglyFace@reddit
I went to all my first kid's volleyball games. I never yelled at a ref or a coach, but I did leave her last tournament ever early because her coach was a hateful, vengeful person and terrible coach, and I was tired of it. I told her we were leaving so my kid wouldn't be there for the last game, and I got chastised by the club owner for "yelling at the coach." I did not, in any way, raise my voice. My child has never played volleyball again after that season. The coach destroyed her love of the sport. Even if I had yelled, it would have been deserved.
I haven't been to my younger kid's sporting events as they have been entirely inconvenient for me.
atreyukun@reddit
My dad was a baseball coach. I was forced to play. I didn’t hate it, but I probably wouldn’t have done it without being forced.
WordleFan88@reddit
I don't know how to put this when it comes to the level of disconnect that there was between my life and my parents but only one of them showed up at my high school graduation. It's not like the other was out of town on business or Anything, they just couldn't be bothered, I suppose. Neither showed up for my college graduation, but that was fine, I paid all of that myself. Every damn penny. Same for my wedding. It was kind of like I was the invisible, unwelcome member of the family. So after I left and family asks me why I don't visit I honestly say I'm surprised they notice I'm not there at all. Do they want me there because it's easier to ignore me when I'm closer?
HearingDue2119@reddit
Where are the kids that just want to play baseball once or twice a week and not travel to Hell and back to do so?
cricket_bacon@reddit (OP)
They've been convinced they need to pay thousands of dollars and be on a traveling elite club team.
Secret-Function-2972@reddit
When the small town I grew up in started a park district soccer program, my parents helped get the program on its feet and coached my team and my sister's team. They had zero idea what soccer was about.
They also rarely ever missed one of my basketball or football games in grade or high school. Dad often watched them through the lens of his video camera even when I told him he didn't have to.
True, they weren't yellers or screamers.
We very rarely miss (missed) any of our kids' games. We're a sports-oriented family and want to support our kids whether they play much or not. I'm also not a yeller.
My oldest daughter played one year of travel basketball and my youngest did 2 years. We thought it might be helpful with them transitioning from a tiny grade school to a small but very competitive high school. Maybe it helped? I'd probably rather have my money and summers back as even as rising freshmen and sophomores travel hoops was already geared towards finding college basketball scholarships, which was not at all the point of them playing.
worrymon@reddit
As someone who hates sports, the lack of sporting events is a side bonus to not having kids.
LayerNo3634@reddit
It's not the expectation from society it's parents nowadays don't allow kids to be out of sight. They think they need to supervise every practice and game.
DarkSad4202@reddit
My dad went to all of my games. My mom went to one or two. I never really cared. I went not all of my daughters games, never yelled or cared enough to yell. It was kids sports, who cares that much?
SugarMag1976@reddit
My parents showed up for everything; we show up for everything. No one yells. That's weird along with the expectation that kids' sports are that important (and your kid probably isn't going to play professionally, so don't ruin it for them).
No-Profession422@reddit
I'll say that as a former youth coach in multiple sports, Boomer and GenX, parents drove me out of it. The verbal abuse and threats just got old. Even when we won, I'd get verbal abuse because i didn't have future superstars (in their parents' mind), little Johnny or Jane play the entire game. Football and basketball parents were by far the worst. Many times, I felt sorry for their kids.
CommunicationNew3745@reddit
This! They screaming and yelling from PARENTS watching from the sidelines as if their grade schoolers are most definitely future superstars just waiting to break big is insane.
CommunicationNew3745@reddit
This. Played soccer as a kid - it was a FUN all inclusive group sport/game - sure, we learned the rules of the game, were coached on how to get better at the game, but it was fun, no 'pressure' hanging over your head - everyone looked forward to our time w/each other out on the field playing. Fast forward to today - a couple yrs ago, I took a friend's son 6 yr old son to his flag football and basketball practices, staying w/him until his parents got off work/arrived, and boy, did I get a rude awakening. The little ones - SIX yrs old, mind you, start off, running around, fumbling w/the ball(s) for a while, then the coaches step in to get everyone 'aligned' . . . instead of coaching them, offering instruction, they are yelling directions, SHOUTING at these kids like they are seasoned adult players & their futures depend on the GAME they're there to learn to play. Worse yet were the parents on the sidelines, screaming and yelling along w/the coaches at the kids, while coached comfortably in lawn chairs they've brought along to squat in, smh. Most of the kids looked like deer in the headlights, not knowing what to do or where to go - all I could think was when in the hell did this start?
Born_Joke@reddit
My dad coached my soccer team until I was at an age/level when that wasn't feasible any more. My mom coached my basketball team. I also took dance (ballet, modern, jazz) and made the jr professional program. My brother played hockey. At least one of them, if not both, showed up for everything, coaching or not.
WindhamEarl22@reddit
I go, yeah I played sports because I wanted to, but I genuinely wanted my parents there to see me play and was disappointed when they wouldnt make it, so I go as much as I can. I try and be what I would have liked my parents to be. I don’t holler at the officials or my kid for making a bad play, but I go and cheer, (I whisper to my wife about why my kid is doing what they’re doing, and why they haven’t pulled they’re head out of their ass 😂). I just want to make sure they have fun and feel supported, instead of neglected and relentlessly criticized.
Fantastic-Archer-864@reddit
GenX here, You are not right. Have seen plenty of GenX parents losing their minds yelling at kid sporting events sadly.
Far-Ad5796@reddit
I did a non-school sport to a very high level (think travelling to away competitions every other week, eight months out of the year, travelling nationally, junior olympics, that kind of thing). I competed from the age of 10 (and continued competing into adulthood, though not at as high a level). My parents have seen me compete a grand total of 5 times in 40 years. And three of those are because a family member was visiting and wanted to go. They had zero interest, and frankly kept hoping I'd want to stop as it had a definite degree of danger (and I was injured a few times). They did the most important thing, they paid for it, but if I wanted to do something (competition, training opportunity, etc.) I was expected to figure out all the logistics on my own (entries, transportation, lodging, etc.) It was MY thing. They'd write the check/hand me the cash, give me kiss and tell me to have fun and be careful. Obviously, I had coaches that were very involved and happy to be in charge of me (and others). Looking back through the lens of SafeSport, a lot of what we and they did for and with us would not be allowed now (but to be clear, my coaches were awesome and nothing untoward ever happened).
I'm now a parent, and my kiddo does a school sport and I attend pretty much every competition I can. Even when it is mind-numbingly boring. He's started driving and I'll admit I'm grateful because it means I don't have to stay for the ENTIRE thing. I can cheer him on, and then go home when his event is over. Though, in general the sport he does seems to thankfully have very respectful families and participants. I've yet to see bad behavior from parents. When he was in 7th grade he did a season of flag football and holy crap that was terrifying. Parents and coaches who were absolutely out of their minds. So glad he hated it too, LOL.
I'm conflicted over how I was/wasn't supported by my parents. On the one hand, it would have been nice for them to see me more, understand and appreciate the work I was putting in, and share in the triumphs, when there were some. On the other, it absolutely made me self-reliant and organized and made sure that I was doing this because it was what I wanted, rather than any external pressure.
So with my own kiddo I'm trying to thread the needle. We go to as many of his competitions as we can, and we cheer and support, but I also leave him alone on the day, let him interact with his teammates and coaches, and I expect him to be in charge of his schedule, practices, etc. I tell him, if he needs something from me he needs to ask, and I will always help him, but I'm not going to do it for him.
I will say, I've seen all generations of parents acting a fool, but what sets them off seems to be a bit more varied by generation. X-ers tend to be tough on their own kids (or teammates they think aren't holding up their part), Millennials tend to be more aggressive with officials they think aren't being fair to their precious munchkin. Just my two cents.
Everyday_everyway@reddit
This.
Feisty-Lifeguard-550@reddit
I grew up in a sporting family. My boomer father was a football ⚽️ manager and my brother played under him , my parents were there. I was in the netball team and done athletics and my parents showed up. We were all very sporty , still are.
Illustrious_Truck623@reddit
I go to as many of my kids events as I can, but that was something my parents did for me. I know I was lucky in that regard, even when I was young.
Ranting at coaches and refs/umps is wild to me, they’re literal volunteers or being paid a pittance to give up their free time and you want to scream and yell about kids sports. Give me a fucking break.
I tell my son he’s blessed, and cursed, that his mom is GenX 😂
charlybell@reddit
Yep, i absolutely my bike to practice and parents were never there. It took me a bit to realise i was supposed to go to my kids things.
LePetitNeep@reddit
Referee here, I assure you GenX parents show up and rant and scream at the refs.
I thought a dad was going to assault me because I made his daughter cry. She was a teenager. She was fine. Teen girls can simultaneously be fine and crying (source: I used to be one).
lando-hockey@reddit
Sounds about right. I’ve had to tell parents at a hockey game, “No. That wasn’t a penalty.” I get the perplexed stare, and then have to point out that it’s a contact sport.
LePetitNeep@reddit
This one was the opposite; daughter had committed a particularly bad foul, and was getting removed from the game. I get that it’s upsetting but it’s still all part of the sport, daughter can play again next game.
Responsible_Side8131@reddit
I’m Gen X (born 1967). My parents (and grandparents) always attended all our sports games. And I always did for my children.
But none of us (myself and my spouse, my parents and my grandparents) would have EVER dreamed to yell at an umpire or coach. Ever.
skeeterbmark@reddit
I had at least one parent at most of my events. Maybe not track meets, but baseball and football for sure.
And I’ve seen plenty of Gen X parents acting like complete dick heads at my kids’ games. There was a dad who used to bang on the bleachers with his fist and scream non-stop at his daughter during basketball games, a mom who yelled at EVERYONE - coaches, players, refs- during soccer games. And I’ve seen way too many Gen X coaches be absolute abusive assholes to kid refs at baseball/softball games. It’s embarrassing. So this is not a generational thing (as usual) but rather just being an emotional child prick or not.
LetThem_1972@reddit
nailed it
Brownie-0109@reddit
Parents always came to school events, baseball games etc when their schedule allowed. I’d often have to get to my baseball games on my own because my mom worked, but she’d be there at some point. Great memories
Street_Barracuda1657@reddit
Grew up playing baseball. Very little parent involvement, but my mom did most of it. Both Silent Generation, mom did the shuttling but I don’t remember how many games she may have been at. My Dad played in the minor leagues but never got much involved and only saw a couple games over the years.
I have two girls I now coach in soccer. They’ve played basketball, volleyball, track etc. Now my youngest is in Theatre. I’ve rarely missed a game or meet and I support them anyway I can. I’m not loud or rude but I’ve seen plenty of bad behavior. Age doesn’t seem to matter.
Guardsred70@reddit
Well, youth sports are just out of control in general.
I think we GenXers see it more clearly just because we're old enough to have seen that all this time/money invested doesn't lead to college scholarships.
Our sports just weren't nearly as organized and competitive. We mostly played YMCA sports that were like $10/season and came with a free t-shirt. Nothing like kids have now with travel ball. I mean......all three of my kids legit took planes at times for competition. It's so insane: 14YOs flying to a tournament to face off with other 14YOs.
I honestly don't see an end in sight. These youth sports clubs have found that if they dangle a little bit of "Your kid is really gifted....." in front of "us", we'll write the check. Telling parents about their special children is a good business to be in. And the pernicious thing is these kids usually go to college, try to keep playing sports (because that's all they grew up knowing), so they then try to find a job in sports.......so they end up telling the next generation of parents that they have special children who would benefit from the $150 skills camp happening next week.
It's all basically grifting. :)
And I low-key blame some of this on Mom on Mom crime. With our Boomer and Silent Generation parents, a lot of our Moms didn't work. But then a few of the Moms did start having successful careers working as attorneys, accountants, high-end nursing, etc. That caused the SAHMs to compensate by making sure the school projects were BETTER and their kids had MORE activities.......because they were actually there for their children......not putting them in daycare like the working Moms were. And the working Moms stirred the pot by implying the SAHMs were lazy and eating bon-bons and watching soaps all day. I think it's led to a world where all Moms feel like they're not doing enough and never feel very relaxed and always judged......despite the fact that they're objective a LOT more involved than our Moms were. And some of that carries on into sports and Moms cheering loudly. Also doesn't help matters that a lot of middle aged marriages are sagging badly.......so if you don't enjoy your spouse's company anymore, maybe go live thru the children??
Ok-Cranberry-5582@reddit
I'm on the older end of Gen X, my daughter is millennial. She loved a certain sport, played through high school, dreams of playing in college. At the end of her senior year, she didn't want to play anymore. That was before travel clubs so usually her school team would play in tourneys a few hours from home but nothing over the top like now. I'm glad that I didn't spend tens of thousands of dollars for her to not want to play in college.
Her daughter is into a different sport. They joined a small travel club and it was ok but my daughter wanted her in a better club, her daughter wants to play in college also. It is so hard to tell her how stupid it is and it could be a huge waste of money but I keep my mouth shut and support the best I can.
There is never any family time and if we try and plan something, it has to be at least 2 months in advance, that could change at anytime if a tourney comes up.
Guardsred70@reddit
It's really hard on families. My wife and I are second-marriage people, so we spent our middle-aged years watching all these "happily married" 38YOs turn into divorced 45YOs.
The whole playing in college thing is insane too. For one thing, there's so little realism about it......but also nobody even bothers to be educated about it. Like.....if you have a boy soccer player, he will 99.9% not get a soccer scholarship......but a girl might. Because colleges have to offset the men's football team under Title IX. So the major Power 4 universities that even bother to have a men's soccer team aren't messing around with 18 year old.......they sign 21 year olds and international players. So if an American boy wants to play for a D1 team, he probably has to play junior college first......and a lot of those JUCOs aren't great academically. And that JUCO will be on their resume forever! And they're usually paying tuition and room and board.
And then there is a whole raft of D3 universities that aren't great. To be clear, there are some awesome universities at the D3 level like University of Chicago, but there is also a LOT of shit......and those schools were facing extinction because kids and parents were realizing that paying $60k/year for a degree from a mediocre college that nobody has heard of is a waste of money. But then they realized they could get those kids to keep paying tuition by calling them soccer players or volleyball players. Some of them, like 95% of the student body is an "athlete", but I really don't see how that's any different that intramural sports in the 80s/90s.
And the way it ruins summers is awful.
onemorebutfaster_74@reddit
Played baseball as a kid and later rowed crew. Parents always came to games or meets. My dad even kept score at baseball games even though he's not a huge baseball fan. One of the things my wife talks about from her childhood is how her parents never came to her soccer and field hockey games and how that really bothered her - and still does. As a parent, when my son played baseball and soccer we were at every game. He plays tennis now and we go to matches, even though watching him play is for some reason super stressful.
Reasonable-Record494@reddit
I hear Gen Xers say this and maybe I just grew up in a strange neighborhood, but every parent went to every game (this was early 1980s through early 90s). It was especially fun in high school because we'd all been playing club ball together for years and our parents all knew each other and our dads stood as close to the field as they could and yelled at us.
I'm gonna say that again: our Boomer parents yelled at us. Many of the dads remembered their Greatest Generation folks regularly attending their basketball/football/baseball games (my granddad never missed my dad's games, and my mom's dad drove her to swim practice at 5 am every morning and sat by the pool and timed her laps--this was like 1958.) Being invested in kids' sports is not new and didn't start with millennials.
drwtw12@reddit
This was similar to my experience during the same time period. Almost all parents went to games. We didn’t live in an area where it was easy for most kids to walk or ride their bikes to the field/gym. I don’t remember parents watching practices.
Travel sports wasn’t a thing in my area until high school, but we all played rec starting about 1st-2nd grade. I remember some parents and coaches yelling at their kids in grade school. My Dad was usually calm, but I recall him yelling a lot at a ref when a high school basketball game got out of hand. He thought someone was going to get hurt. We had one coach who thought he was the next Bobby Knight with his sideline behavior. It’s not new behavior.
Reasonable-Record494@reddit
Thank God, I was starting to question my Gen-X credentials. I don’t remember parents staying for practice either unless it was easier than driving home just to turn around and drive back (my mom would sometimes read in the car), especially when you’re smaller and practice is only an hour.
But yeah they all showed up to games. And there have always been yellers.
bizzy816@reddit
I'm an older GenX, my parents were at every basketball game they could make. Mom more than Dad because he worked away from home, but he was at every one he could be. As far as parents yelling, my parents didn't, but when my nephew played little league there were plenty of GenX parents yelling like the Millennial parents do now. I think it has a lot more to do with personality than age.
Fluid_Anywhere_7015@reddit
The only "sports" that my daughter enjoyed were martial arts. She tried a bunch of team sports and hated them all. We showed up to games to cheer her on, but we were very enthusiastic supporters during her belt tests and combat tournaments. She graduated with a degree in Psychology and black belts in both karate and aikido. She's now embarked on studying judo and tae-kwan-do.
My wife and I played team sports during elementary school, but also despised them. We quit when we hit high school and instead got into activities like debate, forensics, theatre, etc.
We decided to let the kid chart her own path, and she's done a pretty fair job with it.
Fringelunaticman@reddit
For me and all my friends, the only people who showed up were the moms unless the dad's were coaching.
Dad's were to busy working.
Funny thing though, I was talking to my dad about his life regrets and he said his biggest regret was not watching us play youth sports growing up. I told him it was no big deal to us kids because we knew he was working. However, I didn't understand what he meant when he said that. Now I do.
And maybe thats why more parents are at those events
excitabledude@reddit
Haha I was just talking with my parents about this a couple of days ago. Was visiting them and we walked by the baseball field where I played 3rd and 4th grade baseball. I brought up a game we played in super cold weather with driving rain (WA state) where the coach wouldn’t let us wear our jackets in the chain link, no roof dug out. My mom ended up bringing me a thermos of soup as our house was very close. My mom contributed this gem: “ your dad didn’t want me to bring you the soup as he didn’t want to coddle you”
I love both my parents very much, and I’m honestly grateful for what that style of upbringing gave me (drove, resilience), but I’m also in therapy for what else it gave me. Everything has duality
HawkingzWheelchair@reddit
I remember reading an article in the 80s about toxic patents ruining sports for their children. Patents have been attending and making it about themselves, even back then.
lando-hockey@reddit
…I live in Denver. I’m shocked having grown up in Minnesota that all the ice rinks here have bars. Parents can’t get through a kids hockey game without drinking 2-3 beers. It’s absurd. They are all Millennials who then exhibit about the worst behavior imaginable. I fee so bad for their kids.
The other GenX dads calmly watch the games and then have a couple beers at a bar AFTER the game.
penguinwasteland1414@reddit
GenX here. If my parents didn't show up for my games I would have been gutted. They always came.
RoofAway1331@reddit
As a Gen X parent of a 13yr old in school sports, this is spot on. My wife and I bring lawn chairs and sit far away from the younger parents.
MamaPajamaMama@reddit
I'm GenX and my parents showed up for everything, to the point where when I did track and they hadn't been to any meets I had a meltdown at the dinner table. They didn't realize it was important to me that they be there like they'd been for the softball and volleyball games. It wasn't validation, it was wanting their support.
For my own kids, it was often the grandparents who were the problem. My son's flag football team's coach had to send out an email about being respectful at games because of one rude ass Boomer grandfather.
krneki534@reddit
my sweet summer child ... you live in a society
Gen7Malibu@reddit
I have coached baseball and flag football as a head coach and assistant.
I have found more parents yell and complain at baseball games. It is directed at coaches and umpires and seems to cross generation boundaries. Mostly coaches about playing time. We told a kid last year he was going to pitch in the second inning. Well kid who pitched in the first only threw 7 pitches so we let him go out again. Mom told us it was unfair to make that change during a game. We let her son down by lying to him.
I am taking the summer off from coaching and looking forward to being a spectator. However I will likely be back next year for both baseball and football.
400dollarsofrawmilk@reddit
My parents showed up for all my brother’s games/events. Mine? Not so much. I show up for as many of my kids things as I can.
Dirtbagdownhill@reddit
As a 42 year old I remember screaming parents at my youth sporting events so this is clearly not new. And how many kids movies had "busy parent missing a sporting event" as a trope? You may have just had a different experience than most
elphaba00@reddit
My Boomer parents showed up for everything. They came to every cross country and track meet, sometimes showing up at the away meets. They showed up for all my Little League softball games, as painful as that was. They came to every band concert and pep band. My mom was a chaperone on one of my band trips. They came to all my Scholastic Bowl meets.
It was their parents (Greatest Generation and Silent Generation) who would struggle to show up. My paternal grandma would make an effort (even scoring Little League baseball games), but my paternal grandpa wouldn't show up for anything. My dad would look out in the stands and see his uncle cheering them all on. My mom said her mom would make an attempt, but after a while, she just couldn't because my grandpa was unstable and there were too many other kids at home to watch.
Logical_Magician_824@reddit
Gen x here ~ 2 boys , went to all the games & the day they graduated I was so happy to be done with all sports . I got judged so harshly by other parents for just showing up for the games all through little league ,middle & high school but I felt like the fees I paid covered everything else so that’s all I did unless I was asked specifically to do something . It was all I could do , I was a single parent with a job . Decades later , they told me they were so glad I didn’t scream & yell like the other parents & that all they wanted was to see me at the games . Lots of screamers at these games , lots of Dads living vicariously through their boys .
Witty-Atmosphere-211@reddit
I’m a Generation X parent. We went to everything our kids did from grade school to high school. I also chaperoned all the field trips and did senior lock-in for both.
trashthegoondocks@reddit
Same. My parents dropped me off until I got rides. They came to a handful of my football games and that was it.
splorp_evilbastard@reddit
My dad, a new car salesman, showed up to as many of my cross country and track meets as he could. He also showed up to my baby sister's (9 years younger) cross country and track meets, as well as her softball games. He got thrown in as a third base coach a few times when her team was shortstaffed.
Cold_Mission101@reddit
You're right, they must be Millennial parents. The only yelling I did at my son's games was to cheer for my kid.
I grew up in a midwestern city in the 70s and 80s, played softball and volleyball from ages 11 through 18. In all those years, my mom showed up for only one softball game and my dad showed up for one volleyball game, and both times it threw me off a little because I wasn't used to having a supporter watching me play.
Robviously-duh@reddit
back in the 1970's when I played soccer... my parents never saw me play... spring & fall leagues for 7 years.. never... only mandatory parent thing my son did was scouting.. Pack & Troop demanded parents stay.. we are not babysitters...
throttledog@reddit
Same. After 14 they never saw another game but i played 1-2 sports through 11th grade. Probably saw most games up to 10, then they were like “too noisy, good luck, bye by!” I actually enjoyed the time away to just be me with my friends. What kid wants a helicopter parent hovering everywhere they go?
No_Variety9420@reddit
My parents wouldn't drive me to practice and never asked how games went .
I walked , rode my bike , or got rides from other teammates parents.
Head_Trick_9932@reddit
Oh there are definitely Gen X screaming in my area. So embarrassing! My boomer dad is kind of like that too and I’ve had to tell him tone it down when he comes to our kids sporting events. At 77 he still loves watching youth sports (he umpired 40 years as well). I do feel fortunate that my dad was around and involved when we were teens though. He was a single dad of 5 and he’d make an effort any chance he got. We do remember that effort so I try to make an effort for my kids. The everyone must volunteer thing gets annoying when it’s us same ones every time but I’m ok if I have the time. There is more expectation and money involved these days.
cambangst@reddit
Agree. The idiot parents loudly coaching/officiating from the sideline don't seem to be limited to any given generation.
PubKirbo@reddit
I'm GenX with GenZ kids. I think it might be regional. We raised our kids in a rural area and if parents weren't working, it was customary for them to go to their kids' events and games. Not once did I see a parent yelling at coaches. I don't think that would have stood.
BosPatriot71@reddit
Coached multiple sports until my kids aged out. The kids were mostly amazing. The parents were mostly terrible.
Helicopters and bulldozers everywhere.
Internal_Author_7067@reddit
This! The parents absolutely drove me out of coaching. I like parents who are there cheering for and supporting their kids…but leave the coaches and refs alone!
Full_Mission7183@reddit
We would have a little league game and one parent would drive like 5 of us and seldom see our parents in the stands.
I always throw out this caveat when it comes to parents and sporting events. The younger and less experienced your child is, the closer your emotions are to the surface. 9-10 year old kid pitch, the parents are at a fever pitch, the Varsity squad the parents have built their callouses, have seen more craziness as part of the game.
Parents frequently mellow as they gain the fan experience.
ChetTheVirus@reddit
i'm a genx re that coached all the way through from 4 -18 and i can confidently say that youth sports is something that our generation screwed up pretty bad.
just2commenthere@reddit
My parents attended every sporting event of my brother and I. Sometimes they would go to practice even. Drove me nuts but my husband had an experience akin to yours. I show up to all my kids events, I think it’s important to support them. 1970 here
kapshus@reddit
Same. My dad coached my youth baseball team, so he was always there. Mom and sometimes even extended family showed at games.
As I progressed to HS sports they still attended most home games, but never a road game.
Ray_The_Engineer@reddit
My kids weren't terribly into team sports; one ran cross country, the other ice skated, and they both rode in horse shows. We showed up for all of it, and you'll get no apology from me for it. Daughters need for Dad to show up.
dis690640450cc@reddit
I’m a youth soccer coach. I don’t put up with that shit. Referees are very important to the sport and shit behavior from players and parents are driving them out of the sport. Most leagues have strong policies forbidding harassment of referees, however when it comes time for enforcement they are often very passive and lenient. The culture at the pro level has become increasingly ridiculous which doesn’t help.
To the question of validation, as young children I think that is a healthy expectation. I know when I was a kid my parents divorced and my dad would not come to my games very much. I lived with my mom and she would be there most of the time because we would need to drive to get to games. I was definitely felt hurt they my dad wouldn’t show up. Once I was in JR High School it became in-cool to have your parents come so my mom would respect my wishes and not come to games. For young kids that support can actually increase their confidence. I was a latch key kid and though it taught me to problem solve and be self sufficient I would be lying to say that there weren’t times I was alone and wish I had a parent there with me. There were down sides to how we were raised.
Mjhjane77@reddit
I don’t think that’s a millennial thing. I’ve known both boomers and GenXers who do this. Also, my parents never attended my sport or non sport activities. However, most of my friends’ parents did. It’s not a reflection on generation parenting. It’s a reflection of either selfish parents or parents who had to work to provide for their families. My selfish parents couldn’t parent their way out of a wet paper sack.
SciFiFan24@reddit
I coached my kids’ teams in various sports for many years. There was an old joke going around, something like “What is a coaches favorite team to coach? A team of orphans”.
I’ve had to deal with some doozies of parents over the years.
Marigold1976@reddit
Yes! As a teen the last place I wanted my parents to be was at all of my high school track meets. We had a great relationship, but that was my time with my friends. As a bonus I can remember the times they did come and those times hold a special place in my heart. I hear what you are saying though. We live by a ball field and not only do parents show up for every game, they come to lots of practices too. These same people probably complain about how busy they are and how bad traffic and parking is, without connecting the dots that they are the traffic, etc. Family time is great, but I can only imagine there must be a ton of peer pressure making everyone think they need to be so hyper engaged with their kids all of the time.
GlumAd@reddit
My parents never ever came to a game. As a parent myself, I made sure to go the every game my kids participated in. It actually improved my relationship I have with them. One thing i’ll never do is shout or scream at them during the game. The game analysis is done on our way home from the game, and only when they feel like it
Necessary_Echo_8177@reddit
My parents went to my brother’s sporting events all the time. I was also expected to go. There were definitely shouting parents there, so that was a boomer thing to start with.
Sadly they were less likely to come to my events because I didn’t play the sports they liked. Sometimes I had to beg. (I live far away now and show interest in my children’s activities even if they aren’t my cup of tea).
SouthOrlandoFather@reddit
The biggest thing I have noticed is baseball played by kids 12 and under. In our day we swung at everything. Nobody was trying to get a walk. It was see ball, hit ball and start running.
Now parents are so concerned with winning a 9 year old game that they have players taking pitches. I have seen games with basically no hitting for 5 innings. Bunch of walks. Everyone on the girls is delusional as they aren’t helping anyone get better. It is so sad to see.
carrie90210@reddit
My son's coach is always saying "don't be afraid to swing" because they all are
teddymoon22@reddit
My dad always hated hearing that "walk is as good as a hit" shit. He'd say to swing the bat, drive in some runs.
Drives me crazy seeing so many major league players now strike out looking.
Accurate_Doubt3426@reddit
My parents attended everything because there wasn't any event I could attend that I could get to by myself...and if I could they wouldn't let me because "stranger danger".
nakedreader_ga@reddit
Right? How was I going to get to a dance recital at 10 without my parents taking me there. Possibly an older brother, but he had band things to do. These posts about how independent GenXers were are bizarre to me.
Accurate_Doubt3426@reddit
I rode my bike 1/2 a mile from the house, got a flat and had to walk back so I was gone longer than I should have been. My dad came looking for me and I was in trouble for being so far away from home! Hell, I didn't even really get to ride a bike until my parents "white flighted" to the suburbs. It was the first time I had any real sort of freedom (\~1985).
Sometimesunaware@reddit
There have always been obnoxious parents at youth sports, it's not a recent phenomenon.
Defiant_Employee6681@reddit
Sporting events? My parents stopped coming to my parent/teacher evenings. Their view was, “he’s probably going ok”. I mean, I was, but still….
carrie90210@reddit
Love this!
SleepyOne123@reddit
lol. This tracks!
Grand_Taste_8737@reddit
I've tried to attend all my kids' sporting events.
Chipmunk_4168@reddit
I'm a Jones Generation Boomer. My parents never showed up for anything I participated in. It really hurt when you see everyone elses' parent there supporting them. So, I made sure to show up for my daughter and support her. Of course, I didn't act like a fool. We always enjoyed those trips and I was the mom who took everyone home, got to know her friends.
bigredthesnorer@reddit
My kids are older now and years out of youth sports. They were in both local youth programs and in high level club sports with college aspirations. I also coached at the younger levels. I think its great that parents are attending all the games as mine never did (and my own father was a HS football coach). So I made sure to attend all my kids' games, even skipping out on work for afternoon HS games.
Some behaviors are the same now as 50 years ago - daddy-ball coaches putting their kids in certain positions, or naming their little progidy to the local all star team, or pushing league evaluators to put their kid into the A level and not B, or they won't coach. In the 90s I complained to my MIL about it and she laughed and said it's no different than when we were kids in the 70s.
But parent bahavior has changed. They are much more involved in all facets of sports and are really entitled. If I were to point a finger, its at the millenial parents who are the trophy generation. Their kids deserve to play regardless of their talent or ability. They deserve to be on the A team. In HS softball, we had a millenial parent threaten to pull their kids out of the HS programs if their darling wasn't named starting pitcher. HS hockey and basketball had similar problems if a kid was not a starter. In the club programs, the coaches and program directors repeatedly told parents to never ever talk to college coaches and push for their kids because too many parents were causing problems.
I've seen parents get HS coaches replaced because they didnt like the coaching style. And that brings up another issue - kids today have to be coached much differently than in the old days. Yell at a player? Yank their facemask? Tell them to shut up and sit down? Tell them to follow instructions? That'll get you replaced or fired.
PintoOct24@reddit
As a rule, people are people. Of COURSE there are GenX parents that act like absolute maniacs at their kid’s functions. I’m GenX ‘74, I know and have seen plenty of GenXers act like complete fucking assholes when it comes to their kids. They have the same entitlement, blinders and lack of accountability that any other asshole parent has, regardless of age. I also think certain activities have more loud, obnoxious parents in general than others.
VeryLowIQIndividual@reddit
I got dropped off for everything but sports.
I remember tons of parents and family at ballgames. A little too involved at times but didn’t feel like the hovering that today parents do when they show up. They want everything catered to them and their child.
Hell, they were kids and never got to play back then.
Technical_Mood_9279@reddit
I'm a coach and an official and I hate to break it to you, but some of these parents (including my sisters) are Gen Xers. It makes me crazy especially given your point that our parents DID NOT do this and we DID NOT expect them to. In fact, if my parents acted like some of the parents today, I would have been mortified!
Tactful_Squash@reddit
Maybe it is a rural thing but parents were at our sport stuff. They socialized on the sidelined.
briarch@reddit
She came to every soccer game and practice when I was little but mostly stayed in her car, grading papers.
But once I was in high school, she didn’t really participate. I was in marching band and had several competitions per year plus every football game. She’d come to one game a year and didn’t see a single competition in four years, even when I was the drum major.
gt0163c@reddit
My mom made every one of my high school soccer games. She was often the only parent on the sidelines (from either team) and she didn't know half the names of the kids. But she was there and she cheered for the team. My dad made games when he could, usually the rare Saturday game. He's not a cheerer so it was rare to hear him say anything. But I always appreciated when he was there.
Now, it's like the whole family goes out to kids' games. I've gone to big games for kids at my church. I know the family and the kids (usually members of my small group) but I'm in no way related. But I have friends who go to their grandkid's and niece's and nephew's games. This seems to be the norm, even for just random city/i9/whatever other youth league games.
shotsallover@reddit
Jesus. Who has that kind of time?
No-Inspector449@reddit
I got dropped off for games, movies, the pool, the mall. Basically “dropped off “ for life
Caliopebookworm@reddit
It seems there were more community sponsored programs when we were younger. The places that our activities took place were accessible by bike. Our parents were able to go to the local high school and register us in swimming or gymnastics or softball for a low fee and usually we were able to use equipment from the high school - so no one was buying equipment. Not only are activities super expensive but they take place in these out of the way places. My great-niece plays t-ball 40 minutes from where she lives because that's where t-ball for her age group takes place. Kids in our day MAYBE got a jersey - they have a whole uniform.
Dry_Ad7529@reddit
Yes Gen X parents (I’m 52) - our son is 13, we go to everygame, training and practice (typically sit in the car during). We don’t yell at refs but we do root on the team and I have definitely loudly complained about bad calls
These-Analysis-6115@reddit
My parents are/were silent gens, so they didn't attend all of my sporting events, but my Mom always came to my music concerts and plays when I got into high school. I honestly didn't want my Dad attending sports events because he was so critical of me that it took the fun out of it. I attended my son's, but I also wasn't a psycho about it. When he lived with his dad for a few years in high school, he forced him to play sports, and my son hated it and resented him for it. Parents these days seem to act like every kid is going to be a pro athlete. 🙄
jjschoon@reddit
My dad coached every season. At least 1 team between me and my two siblings. My parents were at everything. My wife on the other hand was only allowed to play the same sports that her next door neighbor played so that her parents didn't have to take her to practices or games.
SubatomicGoblin@reddit
I think this is a bit of a broad brush. I played baseball and basketball as a kid, and my parents went to virtually all of my games, even out of town games. This was the norm where I grew up. The only reason a parent didn't attend was if they had to work.
natedogjulian@reddit
Exactly. Some childhoods were just better than others. No different today.
allaboutaphie@reddit
I so agree with this my parents usually did not show up to any of my track, basketball etc events. I showed up for my sons band, robotics anything whenever wherever event he had. I even think of when I graduated from basics in the Army didnt even think of inviting my parents, but when my son graduated AF basics, he was begging me to be there (yes literally begging) and of course I was (and he had many other family members show up too). Who are the fools arguing about games, Im sure all gens and just fools.
kbchucker@reddit
GenX referee here.
Parents and Private Equity have destroyed what youth sports was supposed to be about.
99% of kids will never play any sport professionally. But many will play multiple sports recreationally and on a pickup level well into adulthood. A smaller percentage will play JV/Varsity through High School.
Parents now are paying $3k-$5k or more for a “elite travel club” to then chase their kids 9-10 months out of the year on a single sport. They feel entitled to scream horrible things at Referees, opposing players, and Coaches. Things that would get them arrested, fired or punched out if they said it in other settings. 99% of the time they have no idea what they’re saying and are blatantly wrong about [insert “bad” call here].
They often reserve their worst, most offensive and terribly wrong things to say for their own kids. I worked a tournament a few years ago and had a father standing behind the goal screaming profanities at his own kid (the goalie). Dude was 400 bills, looked like a heart attack waiting to happen, and thought he was entitled to shout this shit at his kid. The kid was crying. Legit crying. I felt bad for him. He finally turned around and screamed “dad, shut the fuck up!” Threw down his gear and walked off the field. The Coach walked him back and asked me what happened. I told him. We both told fat fuck to go to the stands. He started yelling at us and physically threatened us. I just laughed and told him I bet a cheeseburger he wouldn’t make it to me without having a heart attack. We had to get a cop to escort him out of the tournament.
We’re teaching our kids to hate sports, not learn the value of teamwork and brotherhood.
Fuck you, GenX entitled parents. You and your B-School fuckups have destroyed what used to be a fun way to spend time with friends.
Signed,
Disillusioned GenX parent and Referee
grumpynetgeekintexas@reddit
I was happy when my dad or mom remembered to pick me up from practice or a game.
badpuffthaikitty@reddit
My dad would drop me off at the arena. He would give me 4 quarters. 3 to spend on myself and the other coin to call the Legion and ask my dad to pick me up.
earinsound@reddit
i remember my parents coming to my Little League games. but i think the level of parental involvement now is off the charts. my friends’ kid was in several sports until they became injured multiple times. they complained how their lives revolved around taking them to matches etc. i always thought then why let them sign up for everything??
Own-Fox-7792@reddit
Parents showing up is a huge improvement. Parents showing up and yelling at players and referees deserve to have their tires slashed.
cybaz@reddit
I never really wanted my Parents at sports. When I was young, my Dad came to all my baseball games, but I was terrible at baseball. When I was in High School Track, it was uncool to be seen with your parents, so I wouldn't have wanted them there.
bmat71@reddit
Oh man, you guys got to do organized sports? It was just me and my skateboard, and various road rashes, busted lips and banged up knees. I gave myself a permanent knee injury skating a drainage ditch, walked with a limp for months after, parents said nothing, never saw a doctor, still have a giant lump on my right knee
CommodorDLoveless@reddit
I really wanted to play sports but if there was even the tiniest expectations of parental involvement it just wasnt going to happen in my house.
sad_girl_77@reddit
I would have been mortified if either of my parents went to watch anything.
RealityDependency@reddit
Exactly. I might have considered quitting whatever the activity was.
VincentVan_Dough@reddit
My boomer parents didn’t attend practice but they sure as hell made it to the big events and cheered their heart out. I wasn’t even an elite sportsperson or anything but I did win a few bronzes and a silver. My parents acted like as if I was a gold Olympian 😂 Felt really nice.
natedogjulian@reddit
I’m sorry to hear that. My parents showed up to all my sporting events and were loud and proud as fuck. Not only my parents, but grandparents too. I still cherish those moments.
Worth-Magazine348@reddit
It's great if you can swing it, but this new standard of 100% parent participation in youth sports is really difficult if you are trying to cover a lot of other bases. No way did my parents go to all of my or my siblings sporting events, but it sure seems to be expected now.
ONROSREPUS@reddit
Unfortunately I have seen plenty of GenXers also being utterly ridiculous and childish at kids sporting events. I even seen a whole family kicked out. This is mostly at hockey games since that is where I spend most of my time.
JJQuantum@reddit
Crappy parents don’t go to sporting events to support their kids. Crappy parents also rant at sporting events when they go to “support” their kids. Good parents go to events to support their kids l, cheer in a nice way and practice fair play. It doesn’t matter the generation.
acecoffeeco@reddit
My daughter sailed. If she had been into a sport stuck in a gym or sweating on a sports field I wouldn’t have gone to many games. Cruising along in a coach or safety boat is a great way to spend an afternoon.
Elegant-Pineapple-56@reddit
My mom never stayed for anything I was involved in, Dad would show up occasionally.
I stayed with my kids at their sports, etc. All my kids did band in high school and one time my ex said "you don't have to go to every performance!" So I turned to my son and asked him how he felt about it. He mumbled that he liked it when I was there watching or helping out. So I kept on, as much as I could.
Which also meant I got to know their friends, other parents, and had a sense of what was going on in their lives, especially at a time when they don't tend to open up too much to parents. Definitely worth it, at least for me.
Imjusttryin84@reddit
Sit down and let your children play, FFS! You are embarrassing yourself and your child!
ONROSREPUS@reddit
Sensitive_Diamond328@reddit
When my son played hockey, we were on the younger end of the parents (we're Xennials) and the other parents were SOOOOO obnoxious. Now my daughter plays soccer and we're on the older end of the parents and the other parents are somehow even worse LOL.
LMAO though because I swam varsity all 4 years of high school, and even made it to States my junior and senior years, and my parents probably attended less than 5 meets throughout. My mother's quote: "I'm not sitting in a chlorinated bubble all day to watch your 30 seconds of glory." Ahhhhh nothing quite like Boomer love.
MrJohnnyDangerously@reddit
I yell to my kids on the lacrosse field.
tireworld@reddit
Funny you bring this up. I used to be a LL/travel baseball coach for 10+ years. you name it, I've seen it. Anywho, my 6yo grandson now plays coach pitch. I usually sit in the outfield to get away from all the noise and etc.. But just his last game(monday), there was a parent yelling the kids just 10 ft away from me. After a few minutes, I snapped.. I told the dude, they're 5 just let them play. Of course, he said some shit under his breath and walked off.. At that age, yelling is only going to make the kid quit.. Save it for when they are in HS and it gets really competitive!
Dagobahbodega@reddit
Ok when my kiddo was in little league, during the championship playoffs, the team they were playing had the loudest, most obnoxious coach. When we played the same team again the following day, me and the fellow parents all became obnoxiously loud ourselves to block off the incessant yelling coming from their coach. No this wasn't my normal behavior for myself or any of the other variously aged parents, but we all stepped up to meet the yelling coach and over-yell her. It was awesome actually.
Throwaway7219017@reddit
I played high school sports, and my parents came to only 1 game in 5 years. It was very normal for no one’s parents to attend. We played to impress the girls, anyways, lol.
AZPeakBagger@reddit
In my entire high school and college athletic career between cross country, track and then bicycle racing my parents showed up once in high school and twice in college. At one point I was in a bike race that literally went past my parents bedroom window and the field let me pop off the front of the pack for 20 seconds so that they could see me. All they had to do was sit up in bed and pull back the curtain. Yet they never did.
With my kids I did whatever I could to see them, but they did cross country as well and those parents seemed to be pretty chill. You'd cheer, but there is no referee to yell at. Your kid placed entirely based on their skill level.
-Granby-@reddit
I mean my son is 30 not but when he was in youth sports my wife or I were always there. Not to yell and cheer or to be obnoxious but because he was a kid and i was his parent so I needed to be there. I'm not hip to leaving my kid places without me. Coaches or no coaches. Parents or no parents.