If you know things because of the job you do and the information you have access to how do you deal with conversations where people demand a source?

Posted by iffyClyro@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 25 comments

I worked in a bit of a secret squirrel job for quite a long time but I’ve also worked in domestic abuse investigation units, human trafficking intervention and other stuff. Prior I worked in community learning across a few areas.

Anyway sometimes you just know a lot of stuff or certain figures stick in your mind but these aren’t always a matter of public record.

I feel people only really demand sources when their perceptions are challenged.

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Skanedog@reddit

Not quite to the same scale, but I work in HR and my company isn't huge - I know a lot of people's personal circumstances, dirty secrets, medical details, salaries etc.

You have tomlearn to be honest about people with what you know about them, prove to them that you can keep confidentiality, and understand that you aren't lying to people by not sharing information.

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Adorable_Orange_195@reddit

I generally point people to the legal frameworks or policy backing my opinion. If further info is sought I suggest they look for peer reviewed sources on the topic as many are available.

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Temporary-Zebra97@reddit

Nod and smile, do not engage, information shared is advantage lost etc

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Not_Wrong_Tho@reddit

This is reddit. I have absolutely no personal investment in actually convincing anyone here of anything.

With that said, i feel like theres two types of 'source' requests, "That sounds interesting / I've never heard about that, could you provide a source?" and "How dare you disagree with the unsourced claim i made, provide your source NOW!"

The former I'll make an effort for, the latter just isn't worth it.

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ClimbsNFlysThings@reddit

Don't engage in conversations where this is a hazard.

I'm now quite good at either, referring precisely to open source information OR ignoring the topic altogether

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donalmacc@reddit

This is the only way. Don’t ever allude to the fact that you know more, or let your personal feelings on the situation take over.

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ARobertNotABob@reddit

you know more, or let your personal feelings

Very much the problem.
Firstly in that people do think they know more, and secondly in becoming emotionally bound to their acquired perspectives.

This is why some become defensive and then hostile when their understanding is challenged, because their emotions are invested in the defence of their understanding, they construe it as attack on themselves, on all that they are ... and then the blinkers really come down.

It doesn't take much to step back and challenge your own thoughts, or conclusions you have reached on a topic. It's just not popular to do.

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dobber72@reddit

Don't have conversations with people where you would need to provide a source when you can't provide a source.

Unfortunately the whole "trust me bro" thing is part and parcel of podcast culture which appears to be taking over. You don't want to be bundled in with that group.

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evenifihateit@reddit

Don't have conversations that are going to lead to people asking for a source you can't identify.

I work in mental health. A few years ago there was a hugely publicised case involving a patient I had been part of the care team for. I had to just not read the conversations on this site and others about it after a while, because people were spouting absolute bullshit and it was infuriating but I could not counter it without breaching law, policy, professional ethics etc.

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donalmacc@reddit

Remember that when you read another topic. The people who are discussing it authoritatively know as much about that topic as they did about your topic.

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Kvark33@reddit

I say that I have a chartership and have over 10 years experience in my field. If it is a difficult case where there are not really any statistics and it's more just down to experience and knowledge, I will give a vague explanation of how I have come to my conclusion without giving away any figures/statistics.

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budgrummur@reddit

It it's a close friend or family, they'll trust my professional expertise. If it's anyone else, whose opinion I couldn't care less about, I leave it be.

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L-0-T-H-0-S@reddit

You don't. When people ask you for a source, other than it pertaining to public domain, it's a trick question.

Wherever you got your information from is classified. That's all you need to remember.

You relay whatever intelligence you can relay and/or is useful to be disseminated - but you protect its source. exactly no different from how a journalist operates.

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Electronic-Fennel828@reddit

Im a data manager. If im including stats in an email or whatnot I will always either include a source or show my working if the data was produced in house. It just cuts the argument off before it starts.

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crispycat40@reddit

Similar ‘knowing’ but I don’t need sources.

I work as a specialist teacher with children with complex needs.

It means I’m very adept at scanning the room, reading body language and also spotting neurodiverse behaviour traits.

It has a lot of benefits for my job, but not so many positives when it comes to socialising.

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psychopathic_shark@reddit

Same, keep my mouth shut. Allow them to air their own opinions and not get dragged into that topic of conversation I know I cannot get involved in. Regardless of how crazy some of their opinions and thoughts are. Chances are if they don't know what I do as I line of work then it's very likely I have never trusted them in the first place with this information so there is no point in participating in that path of conversation. Just change the subject and move on. Even the people that know what I do are aware there are boundaries they do not cross. They might ask me about something and I tell them I am not able to discuss it and they just move on.

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tell them that it's my expertise and ask where their knowledge is coming from (This only works if they are there for a genuine discussion, not just to take their built up anger out on me)
If they still don't believe me, then I walk away/block and move on with my life because they aren't going to ever change their mind, they want you to listen to their feelings, not discuss reality.

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