ULPT how to win a childish internet argument/argument in general

Posted by Huge_Athlete7488@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 55 comments

I like my fair share of debates, but only if they’re formal, focused on actual discussion rather than insults or needing to just use the “last word”, despite this, this usually is never the case and the other person is always toxic in some way or another, thing is, when people get like that, I also get childish.

What’s a way you can always get the last word and/or have them block you? Basically, how do you rage bait them until you “win”?

And honestly this goes for even everyday arguments in real life, though much less common than online, people still have the habit of doing this in real life.

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bngFXG3MDuau@reddit

Don't bother, your mental health will improve and you'll save so much time.

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Blackwatch007@reddit

This ☝️

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foreverand2025@reddit

Have you heard of pigeon chess?

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BloopBlip90@reddit

Keep asking them to define their terms/words. "how do you define X thing".

Most people don't actually know the answer, and you're not making a statement they can argue with. Just keep asking questions. they will stop responding.

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miraculum_one@reddit

The best way to win is to not care

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jarrucho@reddit

I just say “ok bud” or similar until they stop answering. You gotta commit though.

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exkingzog@reddit

I’m not your buddy, friend.

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MyNameIsBhex@reddit

I'm not your friend, pal

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DEADFLY6@reddit

"I didn't hear you?" "Yes you did." Pulp Fiction

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Cuneus-Maximus@reddit

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Shamino79@reddit

Ok Slugger.

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Quirky-Invite7664@reddit

Ok Kiddo

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Cuneus-Maximus@reddit

Ok boomer

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el_capistan@reddit

Also a simple "lol" works

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jarrucho@reddit

lol

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el_capistan@reddit

lol

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scissorsgrinder@reddit

Yep this one is a classic. Or depending on the situation make them uncomfortable with something like Okay sweetie 😘

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BoxNo5564@reddit

Sure champ.

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tilldeathdoiparty@reddit

Most of the time, the one who tips their fedora towards the other first, is the winner.

No one wins an argument, especially online, so stop wasting time and effort doing so.

Grow the fuck up and stop arguing online or stupid shit, no one actually cares about your anonymous opinion.

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RileyGein@reddit

Says the anonymous person giving their opinion

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FormidableMistress@reddit

It depends. If it's a woman call her sweetie or tell her to calm down. If it's a man you can say something like:

That's a bold statement considering your hairline.

You're just doing that for the male gaze.

Ok but have you tried really thinking about it?

That's not going to make you your father love you.

Imagine if you put all of this effort into fixing your personality.

Weird take for someone of your stature.

Ok Lord Neckbeard.

I will seduce your mother and have you written out of the will.

You always were your mother's child, no wonder your father was so disappointed.

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RileyGein@reddit

Ok sweetie, that’s not going to make your father love you.

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PeterPook@reddit

Bring up Hitler and the Nazis as soon as possible - it's sure proof that you can win the argument...

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PoolMotosBowling@reddit

Don't forget Boomer, redditers love to age discriminate when they're losing our argument.

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ThatRocketSurgeon@reddit

Sound like something Hitler would do, Nazi.

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Deadbreeze@reddit

You accept that they will never change your mind, nor will you change theirs. Then you stop responding. If the need to have the last word bothers you that much, reevaluate your own principles. Because it doesn't fucking matter.

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PoolMotosBowling@reddit

It's almost like they're describing themselves... Haha

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robinsnestbakery@reddit

🤏

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rabid_cheese_enjoyer@reddit

if you block them then they can't reply to you anymore. it can be very funny

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BeebleBoxn@reddit

Failure is the greatest teacher and everyone has learned so much by watching you.

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Queasy-Flan2229@reddit

Allllllllll rightey then, buh-bye now (with Ace Ventura smirk)

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Jourbonne@reddit

If you ask, “what facts if true would get you to come over to my side?” And they say “nothing,” you could say, “so we are arguing just for fun?”

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Jourbonne@reddit

If you ask, “what facts if true would get you to come over to my side?” And they say “nothing,” you could say, “so we are arguing just for fun?”

Edit: forgot the sub… Piss Discs

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Angry-_-Crow@reddit

Minimalist answers, and don't listen to any urges to "refute" everything they say. As it's an internet argument, your goal is to make them emotionally overcommit, and, if they're spending more time & energy on their responses than you are, that goes a major way toward "winning" the dirt eating contest

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PomeloPepper@reddit

If it makes you feel better to think that, then go right ahead.

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Lil_Shanties@reddit

gif

Give them a helpful link to this gent and walk away never to return.

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ACynicalOptomist@reddit

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BluBeams@reddit

I don't have time to rage bait and play games or even have the last word. I don't care that much. If I find myself talking to an idiot that won't STFU, I'll either ignore them, or tell them, "You know what? You're absolutely right. You win. I lose." That usually shuts them up.

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tmanowen@reddit

Yea I often go this route as well but even shorter. Just agree with them no matter what they say to or about you. Their purpose is to try to argue. But when you agree with them, they can’t argue and stop replying

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GeoHog713@reddit

Goatse.cx

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TheBovineWoodchuck@reddit

Make a thorough, well-reasoned point and if they can't stop being a dick, just say, "I refer the good gentleman (or lady) to my comments from some moments previous." I heard that used in the British parliment (I'm from USA) and started using in face-to-face discussions when the other person just couldn't let something go. If they continue to respond, I just say the same thing again. They usually give up fairly quickly.

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Konilos@reddit

It's a waste of time to argue with strangers. What benefit could changing the mind of a stranger possibly have for you unless you care a whole lot about their opinion?

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Gogglesed@reddit

What if you could convince a white nationalist that his immigrant parents make him essentially the same as any other children of immigrants?

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

If that could be effectively done over the internet, we wouldn't be on a collision course with annihilation.

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Konilos@reddit

His opinion isn't worth anything to me so I find no point in trying to change it. I say this as a child of immigrants.

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Gogglesed@reddit

His opinion might be valued by others. If you can change it for the better, you never know who will benefit in the future.

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Future-Excuse6167@reddit

You haven't picked up that the vibe of this sub is me, me, me?

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scissorsgrinder@reddit

I play it as an occasional online game. I'm curious to see what happens if I say X, will they say Y etc. I learn about people from this. Most do not find this interesting, I do.

If my emotions do get involved, it's time to walk away. I will get strategic with my final comment if it's political and it matters, but otherwise just leave because yeah, if I'm getting mad and it's not a productive conversation there's no point.

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Dougally@reddit

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

childish internet argument

"An strange game. The only winning move is not to play."\ --W.O.P.R.

Personally, if a discussion has clearly gone this route, I'll either just ignore it, mute the comments I made and delete the replies from my inbox, or maybe edit to add some references and then mute.

The latter item isn't for the respondent or a gotcha, but for any other reader who may like to learn more. It closes out my thoughts on the subject without it pestering me further. Since it's not a reply, it doesn't notify the other party, so it doesn't trouble them further either. In some rare cases it has inflamed someone much further, resulting in comment stalking. This last group just gets reported and blocked. Those accounts usually don't live long.

At the end of the day, high-conflict people — be they trolls, anger mis-managed, just unwilling to accept nuance, or something else — are energized by any attention you give them. Continuing to engage only gives them exactly what they seek.

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scissorsgrinder@reddit

Keep repeating Nah I'd win.

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False_Grape1326@reddit

I like to drop my last cutting point and then right after drop something like “Let me guess, you will respond to this with a ridiculous snark about XYZ and your big swinging dick- like always so I will save you the trouble and let you have the last word before you drop your prophetic compassion and healthy advice” you get the drift

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