ULPT: Looking for petty long term revenge ideas to a very abusive parent
Posted by its_edamame@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 220 comments
I have a BPD mother and she has caused me and my daughter so much trauma. She put me in the hospital multiple times last year because she was abusing me so severely, my brain shut off, complete black out for 3-5 days at a time. My poor daughter would frantically drive me to the hospital (no license) because she was so scared. Before going no contact recently, she keeps taunting me to kill myself, making fun of my horrific suicide attempt from 2014.
Her dad passed away a few weeks ago. I decided to be the bigger person, unblock her, and text her "I'm sorry for your loss". She snapped back with, "Don't ever contact me again. You are DEAD TO ME". Lol, alright then.
Give me things I can do to really fuck with her from long distance. I've always been so upset she can treat my daughter, myself, her husband, and EVERY single person in her life like shit and she has NO consequences.
Gimme your worst! đ
Severe_Airport1426@reddit
She has a mental illness and an unsympathetic daughter. Seems like enough punishment
fermentedelement@reddit
lol get fucked
Severe_Airport1426@reddit
I do often, in all the ways you can imagine
fermentedelement@reddit
lol touchĂŠ
Successful_Line_3064@reddit
Seems like you have a surface level knowledge of BPD.
Severe_Airport1426@reddit
As a health care professional...ok
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Mmmm no. I am not unsympathetic. This has been decades of abuse. I've tried literally everything to help her. Give her ideas how to be happier, when she was in a better space to not flip out. She would always end up flipping tf out by the end of the conversation. Smdhe has said the most hurtful things to me over decades. Who TAUNTS their daughter to go kill themselves?? Who makes fun and laughs at a prior attempt!? I've tried every single possible way to address dealing with her. Everything. Nothing works. She will always be a victim, in reality she's abusing everyone in her life. She's told me she fantasizes about me killing myself, her husband prematurely dying from "unknown causes", so she can have all the money, fantasizes about killing each of their parents because she can't stand old people. She is trash. She hates everyone and will do whatever she possibly can to make someone break down. This isn't a one time thing. This is something that has happened over decades. I've blocked her so many times, she uses someone else's phone to call me and surprise me then ambushes me to "take her back". I've done this countless times. Set up therapy appointments for each of us. Come up with code words for when she's getting hostile and I need to step away from the conversation. I've exhausted EVERYTHING. All of her therapists have dropped her.
fermentedelement@reddit
Just want to say fuck this person in particular, please donât listen to them. They clearly have no idea what the fuck they are talking about.
Severe_Airport1426@reddit
Again, she has a mental illness. Its not a choice its a sickness. But you are making a choice to be hurtful and malicious
avindictiveprinter@reddit
Craigslist post. "Records from 60s-70s-80s-90s, $1 LPs, 50¢ singles. Everything must go! Sale starts 6 a.m."
lynivvinyl@reddit
I approve this message but make it 5:00 a.m. for the early birds.
avindictiveprinter@reddit
Damn, I thought six was early as fuck!
fermentedelement@reddit
Omg not all of these comments telling you to move on. We finally get an evil person deserving of some real ULPTs and we just preach to OP how they should just move on? How many times do you think theyâve heard this before? (Maybe Iâm just projecting, and if so, Iâm sorry OP.)
Ofc I have no real ideas right now but I was also thinking bare minimum some religious sign ups. Iâll come back and reply if I think of some more.
Born_Local_1477@reddit
It's in op's best interest in this case. Bpd people can be very dangerous.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
I'm terrified she will kill her husband and his 105 year old mother. Or someone's pets. She is THAT unhinged. She is dangerous.
Born_Local_1477@reddit
In that case, definitely don't fuck with her. An angry, anxious her who has an unknown tormenter is not what those vulnerable people need. Just walk away from that bitch. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.
fermentedelement@reddit
I have an abusive mother with NPD, so I deeply understand OPâs situation.
lashoboo@reddit
BPD is a mental health condition that literally makes ppl behave like psychos. Idk if we should be encouraging taking revenge on someone for being mentally ill when they could literally just walk away. it sounds like OP inherited some of that mental illness too with this vengeful desire...
PointBlankShot@reddit
Yo, that first sentence is really rude. There are many of us with BPD living healthy, sustainable lives without fucking shit up.
fermentedelement@reddit
Canât tell if youâre a mental health advocate based on this comment or not lol. Plenty of people with BPD lead lives where they are not actively harming people, and yes some of them are abusers â just like there are abusers without mental illness. And yeah, prolonged trauma will give you mental illness too, including PTSD or BPD. Cute that you had to throw in that slight here too.
Itâs totally normal to express anger as a part of a traumatic healing process and Iâm not here to get in the way of OPâs real or imagined revenge. As a fellow survivor of parental abuse, Iâm inclined to root for them whatever they decide.
Heaven forbid the mom get some annoying snail mail, rotten fish smells, or a piss disc in exchange for a lifetime of abuse LOL! Sheâll live. Weâre not encouraging further abuse or violence here.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Y'all I'm not trying to ruin her life or treat her how she treats others. I'm looking for silly things like, signing her up for certain funny mail subscriptions, or signing her up for scientology, or to send FLDS or JW to her house for recruiting.
I just want her to be like, "what on earth is going on?". I don't want to emotionally hurt her.
BearcatInTheBurbs@reddit
Hard agree. OP needs help.
fermentedelement@reddit
I loathe this genre of âyou need helpâ / âseek therapyâ comments. Do you think OP has not sought help? Recovering from this abuse takes lifelong effort and your comment is patronizing.
Not sure if that was intentional or not, but sharing this perspective on the off chance it wasnât.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
She knows her deal. She refuses to be honest in therapy or to her docs. She wants to be victim her entire life and be physically hurt, emotionally hurt, financially hurt until she dies. She has seen so many therapists, especially ones that are AMAZING (mine) and has a deep understanding how to treat these issues. She just lies, contradicts herself every appointment. It went nowhere.
BearcatInTheBurbs@reddit
And it will still never justify UNETHICAL treatment from someone who knows better. Youâre teaching your kid this behavior. Do better.
chickengarbagewater@reddit
*mentally ill person
There is no way that her mother would choose to behave like this if she had the mental capacity
fermentedelement@reddit
According to most recent studies, abuse is not directly tied to mental illness, but rather core personality traits. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-55074-w
Not all abusers have mental illness, not all people with mental illness are abusers đ¤ˇââď¸
Most abusers are fully in control of their actions. Itâs a choice. We donât need to make excuses for them, even if we understand the external factors that impacted who they are today.
Evil was probably a strong word to use, yes, and it may have been inappropriate. But we donât have to infantilize them either.
chickengarbagewater@reddit
It's not an excuse for behavior, but demonizing and further torturing a tortured soul is not going to help anyone.
fermentedelement@reddit
Pranking an abuser â demonizing and torturing
OPâs description of their motherâs abuse = demonizing and torturing
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
And yes she has the personality disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder. Absolutely insane and the most evil being I've ever known. I've even had TWO horrific DV relationships in the past. I got rid of all those relationships over a decade ago, and realizing my mom needs to be another... It really sucks but I choose myself and my kid ANY DAY. We are all mentally ill, sick in some way, addiction isn't rare... All of those things can be treated with a huge variety of tools. She chooses none. She tells me she FANTASIES ABOUT KILLING HER HUSBAND. And in other conversations, she BEGS ME TO KILL MYSELF. After YEARS, SO MANY YEARS, of this, I'm done.
Thank you so much for your input xoxoxo
bughousenut@reddit
BPD is a personality disorder, part of Cluster B, very difficult to treat â they get turned away by therapists
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Thank you so much đ
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Thank you honey. This is 20+ years of abuse. I have cut her off completely soooo many times in the last 15 years. She always reached out, makes me feel bad for her, "sincerely" apologizes to me, makes me believe she's changed. Then nope, dagger to the heart, or bullet to the back of the head. The vicious cycle repeats but I have been the only one experiencing the fallout. I'm sick of that. I'm a good person, an excellent mother, and my emotional intelligence surpasses hers. She's like a child. Gets off on hurting us as much as possible. Time for consequences. Just from afar. No desire to ever speak to her again, but I'm so down for hilarious payback.
fermentedelement@reddit
Sending you all the love in the world đŠľ
Different-While8090@reddit
My wife and I both had fucked up parents that knew exactly how to hurt us because they'd been doing so all our lives. As much as we would have loved revenge, telling them to piss off and then going no contact for good was the only thing that allowed us to actually have some measure of peace, which increased every year we no longer thought about them. I dont think we owe people forgiveness, or any of that, and I wont forgive my parents. Im just satisfied theyre a continent away and being driven crazy that they cant have control anymore.
fermentedelement@reddit
Right, but your move on advice is not what OP is asking for. And Iâm willing to bet theyâve had plenty of people tell them in their life how they should navigate their relationship with their mother. Iâm advocating we donât add to that pile on and let OP decide their own path.
In all likelihood, they wouldnât even act on these suggestions, how often do you think people do? This is just as much of a fantasy subreddit as it as an advice subreddit. Let them have their moment of righteous anger and imagining taking it out on their mother. Connecting with our anger is an important step in moving on from such abuse, at least it was for me.
And hell, if they actually go through with their revenge, I wonât blame them one bit.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Thank you so much.
bumbumboleji@reddit
Can we not understand that someone whoâs mentally ill isnât really evil but probably needs care themselves? Hope so
Can we also understand that yes it can suck for those around them? Hope so
Can you solve this using assorted frozen discs of piss? Hope so.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Lmao I wish I knew about piss disks years ago. Such a great example. And yes, she has mental illness, but basically every single person I know suffers from some form. Its their responsibility to handle it, talk to doctors, being honest with therapists, talking to legit psychiatrists, going on mental health retreats etc. She has known for YEARS what's going on but would rather be a victim the rest of her life and PHYSICALLY, mentally, and emotionally abuse every single person in her life. The closer and supportive someone is for her, she attacks them the worst. We've struggled for decades about ways to hint when conversations or interactions are heading south by her... Never worked. We've worked on a million different ideas or ways to help. She refuses. Its been 20+ years. I'm a big girl but I won't allow my daughter to suffer from this anymore than she has.
fermentedelement@reddit
Now this is a balanced take I can get behind.
NurseKaila@reddit
Iâm currently getting downvoted and reprimanded for wondering the same thing. What happened here? This page is turning into r/MoralLifeAdvice.
qisfortaco@reddit
r/subsifellfor
christmas_920@reddit
Best revenge is forgiveness.
Successful_Line_3064@reddit
No
fermentedelement@reddit
Shut upppp
maxpowerAU@reddit
I know itâs not what you asked but I think you should turn your toward your future rather than look back
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
I hear you. I know that is the high road. That IS the road I have always taken my entire life. Idk though... Something about the most recent behavior has been exponentially tragic and abusive, it's not fair to not have consequences. Like I said, nothing to ruin her life. Just pranks from a distance that can't be traced back to me. I just want her to be annoyed and so confused for awhile. Yeah. I know. That's fucked up and wrong.
Successful_Line_3064@reddit
For someone who took the âhigh roadâ for nearly a decade all it did was make me suffer internally. Now that Iâve learned to push back and set boundaries, I donât get picked on as much. Some people truly deserve to be told to their face how much they suck
maxpowerAU@reddit
I wouldnât think of it as the high road â itâs not you deciding to make the more morally upstanding decision, itâs you deciding where to spend your energy. Itâs not like youâll get the satisfaction of seeing her confused or annoyed
Wojtkie@reddit
Best thing is to move on and not let her live rent free in your head anymore. That'll piss her off more as time goes on.
MelCarmichael@reddit
I feel we have the same mother. Big hugs and I hope someone suggests something really good.
Silly-Concern1736@reddit
I have the same mother too, itâs sad how many of us there are
fermentedelement@reddit
Same 𩵠get checked for CPTSD if you havenât yet, comrades
MelCarmichael@reddit
Already been diagnosed
Puceeffoc@reddit
Is it wrong to think "When my mom dies it will be a relief?" I know it's wrong to say it because I told my wife that once and my wife got super offended. It won't be a sad event for me, it feels like it will be liberating. I don't know how to explain it but that's just how I feel about it.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Nope!!! I tell my therapist this whenever we talk about her. She asks me why I want that, and it's a valid question. It boils down to I'm 38 years old and she's been telling me I am the worst thing that happened to her since I was 14-15. I had a 4.3 gpa in all of my classes. I was a good, excellent, relatively normal teenager.
When she's gone, I will never ever have to worry about how she's going to hurt me next. What kind of things she will do to hurt or kill others. My daughter and I will never ever live in peace until she's gone. Its incredibly unfortunate. She's a major alcoholic since COVID, and since then everything has gotten 100+ times worse. I know one bad day she may drink too much, take too many pills. Idk. I know, as fucked up as it sounds, but I will be soooo relieved when this happens. I love and miss who she used to be one day, but that woman is gone. This is not the same woman.
Love you tons stranger and I hope you know you're not alone â¤ď¸
Puceeffoc@reddit
My mom also started drinking heavily. NEVER drank when we were kids and she was probably a narcissist but in a "my kids are xyz, I'm so important" kind of way. We saw a supportive mother but she used our talents as a way to "be better than everyone else" I went to Iraq and she played it out big time while I was gone. Sure she missed me, but she loved to be the victim of a son being away...
She started drinking heavily before her dad died and then he died (my grandpa) and she drank even harder and started taking sleep pills and getting completely trashed and making a fool of herself and saying awful things and doing awful things.
Then she would get injuries and be "the victim" she started taking pain pills with alcohol. Then she started talking trash about a hospital and would be seen by another hospital for whatever "pain/illness" she had.
I pieced it together pretty quickly that she was pill chasing and once a hospital told her no to pain pills she would find another hospital..
She's just been a real pain since all her children (5) have left and started our own lives. She throws pittt parties and makes holidays absolutely terrible. My siblings all give her an out like "Oh her dad died she's not handling it well." They are all quick to forget she was an alcoholic months before her dad died..
Anyway that's my rant thanks for listening guys.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Wow it totally sounds like I could have written this. My mother is exactly the same.
Puceeffoc@reddit
My brother's 2 year old son died unexpectedly in his sleep. Later they'd discover it was children's pneumonia with no symptoms.
It was the WORST experience. My mother completely hijacked everything she could.
It was absolutely horrible, I spent that whole week+ babysitting my mom, she did most of these things when I wasn't around because she knew I wouldn't let it fly.
The night of the funeral I went into a minivan with my brother's sister-in-law (Michelle) and my sister and we all hotboxed a blunt and vented about my mom's behavior.
The next day I had to go to the funeral home with Michelle. I can't even remember why we needed to go there but we did. My nephew was still in the casket up front and Michelle and I went and said oir goodbyes. Michelle's brother and girlfriend were also there and we all looked at each other and said "We'll never speak of this to anyone." We didn't want my brother and his wife to know that they could have said goodbye to their son one last time. We didn't want them to know we saw him again. Had my mom been there it would have been a whole drama fest of her either calling them to come see their son or her reporting back to them "Hey I saw your son and said goodbye before they cremated him."
Anyway that's my rant about my mom and how she behaved when my brother was living through the worst days of his life.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Firstly I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. This must have been so traumatic for everyone in the family. Your mother made it about her. It was HER loss. She is the one suffering the most. This is my mother 100% . In reality it is your brother and sister in laws tragic loss, they lost their baby. Yes your mom lost a grandchild but her actions were very inappropriate. I can't imagine playing it cool if I was in your brother's shoes. This sounds like a horrible nightmare. I am so sorry for your loss.
Maybe 13 years ago, my stepdad (her husband) was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. I remember that day so vividly. My stepdad was upset and processing but my mom?!? My mom was yelling and screaming at him. Screaming shit like "fuck you!! You just retired and we were supposed to live the retired life. Fuck you for doing this!" She instantly HATED him and hurt him and consistently said he was the problem, it was HIS FAULT he got diagnosed with cancer. She was so mad she couldn't travel or whatever. She STILL holds that against him to this day. He's cancer free, he fought hard and came through. So incredibly grateful, but she still says shit like he should have died, serves him right, she will never be happy until he dies so she can take his money and have fun or whatever the fuck she said. BPD for sure.
Puceeffoc@reddit
Yeah, my sister in law snapped on my mom at one point. They all met at the funeral home and were meeting with the funeral director.
My mom, my brother, his wife, and the sister of his wife. My mom made some suggestions about how she'd like the funeral to go and my brother's sister in law said "We're just here for moral support you and I aren't making plans or suggestions." The sister in law understood what her job was. Then my mom said something like "Fine I'll just sit here then." And then began digging through her purse, making loud sighing sounds and made one more comment. My sister in law (brother's wife) just laid into my mother and chewed her out and said "this is not your son this is our loss, we're planning it if you can't behave then go sit in the lobby." But my sister in law just ket her have it.
My sister in law, 's sister told me all about it in our smoke session after the funeral. To this day my mom still talks trash about "michelle" (sister in law). It's wild because during all that Michelle was just being supportive. Her twin boys (12) were on vacation in Florida at the time and she decided to tell the boys after they returned home. So Michelle had her own problems coming her way the following week to tell her boys who absolutely loved their cousin that he was no longer with us.
Yeah the whole ordeal was pretty bad.
Then I told my wife after the funeral "I give it two weeks before my mom ends up in the hospital with an issue and we all have to watch her play victim. Sure enough she had a "minor stroke" and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance. The only good thing was she stopped drinking for a while and taking her health "serious" for a while after that.
fermentedelement@reddit
People donât understand that even if you go no contact, some abusers will still do everything they can to hurt you and the people you love. It wasnât as simple as cutting off my parents. Iâve had to cut off my whole family, delete social media, change phone numbers and addresses, move across the country⌠and still my mother tries to find ways to hurt me. Years and years later.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Yes! Thank you! So fucking true. Sometimes I get notifications that someone is trying to log into my different accounts (socials, Verizon, other bills). I know she wants to know my physical address, my mailing address, what I'm doing, what is happening in my life. She has gotten into my socials once and aired out the worst possible things about me. I'll be clean for 9 years in July. She loooooves to tell everyone about how that ruined everyone in my family's life. I went to rehab, did outpatient for years, and completely changed my life. I love who I am. I am not ashamed of my past. I am proud of the person I am, despite all the bullshit I've gone through. I still see a therapist every single week, for years! My kid as well. Its been amazing.
WearyConfidence1244@reddit
I've only been able to begin healing since my dad and his enabler (my mom, the 'saint') died in '25. They went out with a bang, though, used their whiteness to their advantage, tried using the police as weapons against my adult son and more. They're despicable. Treated their own children like absolute throw-away rejects who also happen to be the banes of their existence. Go fĂšk yourselves, cowards.
Impatient_Orca@reddit
Have you read Jennette McCurdy's "I'm Glad My Mom Died"? Sometimes people bring joy/relief with their presence and some bring it with their absence.
fermentedelement@reddit
I did, excellent book. But also, mega trigger warning to people who have experienced parental and/or sexual abuse.
Creative-Coach2854@reddit
My father had a stroke recently and I had the biggest wave of relief. Unfortunately a swift recovery followed, but I keep hoping for another
rabid_cheese_enjoyer@reddit
one of my abusers died and it was a huge relief. so I don't think it's wrong
WearyConfidence1244@reddit
Listen, my parents died and it was a huge relief. They were vile.
HardCoreNorthShore@reddit
Mine too. I am so glad they're gone.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Omg you guys, thank you so much. I finally feel seen. Not alone. Don't feel bad. Sometimes we spend YEARS getting toxic friendships or relationships out of our lives for good. Then we do years of therapy. But our parents aren't a break up. Until we go no contact. I'll never feel safe until I know she's not here anymore. I know she will hurt or kill someone close to her, and fast. Elder abuse to her mother in law. DV against her husband. Then they DV me and physically hurt me. Its easier for him to take her side than standing up for what's right. Nope. They're done. I gave them chances for roughly 11+ years. Enough is enough. If I ever see her again I KNOW she will KILL MY DOG. she's said it before because I love him more than anything. She's jealous. Same with her husband. Since he has friends and family who haven't disowned him (my mom's siblings and their kids stay as far away from her as possible), she sees them as threats too. Someone will die. Be it her, her husband, her 104 mother in law, me, my daughter, my dog, my cat. Some people are legit psychopaths, sociopaths, with SEVERE BPD.
bughousenut@reddit
itâs not wrong or even unusual to think that, what you will find out that it will be more complex than that
WearyConfidence1244@reddit
It's sad for what it could have been and even sadder for what it was. I think that's it for me.
rabid_cheese_enjoyer@reddit
why was your wife super offended that you would feel relief once someone who caused you harm couldn't cause you harm anymore?Â
Puceeffoc@reddit
Maybe in the context of it all? She was offended that I'd say such a thing and she was more offended by me possibly telling my siblings or other people we know about my thought of being relieved...
So basically she didn't want me to say that sort of thing to people who might judge me? Idk she has social anxiety and pushes that onto me sometimes. I'm an iraq combat vet I am numb to a lot of things. So maybe it just comes off as cold to people we know? Like they don't already know I'm cold anyway right?
So TLDR: She gor offended on other people's behalf?
fermentedelement@reddit
I think it all the time. đŠľ
Creative-Coach2854@reddit
I just got diagnosed and it's been really validating to have the significance of the abuse and its impact recognized. Makes it a lot easier to deal with the gaslighting.
fermentedelement@reddit
Absolutely, same here.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Just like my above comment said.... I am so sorry you're experiencing this too. We don't deserve this abuse. Its traumatizing, it's abusive, and it really makes you want to do the S word. I love you internet stranger. If you ever need someone to talk who can completely relate to you, hit me up. Xoxo
WearyConfidence1244@reddit
Gabor Mate helped me so much. His videos about trauma oh man. It really helps put it in perspective. I wouldn't be here without him, not bc of that S word but Spirits (alcohol). I'm 3 years and 1 month free. Don't let them take your shine. Sometimes I'm disgusted that I share blood with those people. Now, only my sister is left which is ironic bc she's the WORST. Walked in a ceremony for indigenous people and she knows full well she's 100% white; German nonetheless. She's masquerading and profiting greatly. Proud as can be about her lies. She's that kind of evil.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Ugh that gives me the ick just reading it. The most important thing in this comment is you're CLEAN!!! That takes so much hard work and you should be so proud of yourself!! I'm so proud and happy for you.
bughousenut@reddit
my mother and one of my sisters has BPD
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Are you in no contact?
bughousenut@reddit
I came from an incredibly toxic family. Didnât talk to one sister for 20 years, we talk now. Had two DV protective orders against a brother we donât talk and will never be in contact again. Another brother has gone back and forth between supportive and toxic, we will never talk again. I did not speak to my father for eleven years but we made contact and had a somewhat working relationship before he died. I didnât talk to my mother for five years, she was very difficult but we had a relationship when she died. The one with BPD, Iâm in contact with her, underneath it she is not a bad person just troubled. But she wears me out.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Ahhh I'm so sorry friend. They are awful to us. I always have to remind myself, no matter how personal, or how fucked up the shit she says to me is, it has and always will be about her. Love you internet stranger â¤ď¸
MelCarmichael@reddit
Iâd start with a dead fish wrapped in newspaper in her mailbox - itâll make u feel better. Also fill out the contact form on the website of that religion that Tom cruise likes and explain youve (her) inherited millions and you need spiritual guidance as to what to do with it - give them all her contact details. Theyâll never leave her alone.
MelCarmichael@reddit
Anyone from the mafia will know what the dead fish in newspaper means
skypekiller@reddit
a dead fish in the hood of a car or a vent in the house would be wonderful as well. everyone likes grilled fish, right?
AnxiousWriting@reddit
fish sauce- makes it much harder to find the source
floofienewfie@reddit
Religious materials from Scientology, LDS Church, Jehovahâs Witnesses. Sign her up for home visits, too, from bug spray companies and insurance salespeople.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
EXCELLENT. đđđđ
DuckyDoodleDandy@reddit
Car warranty info, house siding, new windows, new insurance (all types), new roofâŚ.
SalisburyWitch@reddit
Give her info to a Nigerian prince.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
đđđ
ColdSmashedPotatoes4@reddit
In the dryer vent. Gets hot, cools down, big stink
rabid_cheese_enjoyer@reddit
and isn't a federal crime
Cute_Stock582@reddit
Under the back seat
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Omfg I'm laughing so hard. She told me years ago she was jealous of my ex bfs family because they're Jewish and she wanted a community so bad đđ holy shit I'm laughing so hard. Excellent!!!
Twitch-x@reddit
From across the country makes this difficult.
beachbum818@reddit
Sharpie her cell # in the stalls of men's bathrooms at bars, Walmart, or porta potty's "Poop Pics Plz!" She can't stop the pics from being texted bc they are all different phone #s
Sign her up for info from the Army, Navy, Marines, coast guard, Scientology, Latter Day Saints..... they don't take no the first time.
Put Craig's list as or for furniture. Post that you work nights so they can only call 9p-5a.
10S_NE1@reddit
Youâre way too kind on #3. What you do is post âiPad Pro - $25. Never opened, in box. Grandson gave it to me but I already have a computer. Iâm a shift worker so please only call between 2am and 5am.â
bcardin221@reddit
You are a bad, bad man.;)
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Holy shit đđđđđđđ
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Mmmm airports would be incredible too because the area codes will be all over the country!
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Omg this is so unhinged in all the perfect ways!!!!! You are hilarious and fantastic!! Adding to the list
shelf_satisfied@reddit
Don't forget Facebook Marketplace. Lots of unhinged shoppers there.
Simple-Challenge2572@reddit
https://poopsenders.com/
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Oh. My. God. This is absolutely incredible!! đ đđđ How did you even find this site? I love that it's big ass gorilla poop or other large animals. Holy shit, pun intended, this is a great suggestion!
midwestblacklotus@reddit
make friends with older women and post pictures of yourself going on adventures with them and gush about how amazing they are
fermentedelement@reddit
Lmao this is hilarious
midwestblacklotus@reddit
thank you I am to please
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Omg lmao I kinda have done this, just haven't shown her. I've befriended my roommates mother and we talk daily, she gives all the mommy advice. She was soooo jealous when I moved into this house and told me my new mom was the owner/roommate. I told her that woman is my peer, not my mom. I love that I found a new mom. She's everything to me. I wish I didn't block her on SM because I would post photos of her and I
midwestblacklotus@reddit
You could Make a public post because your mom is definitely following you publicly
DCAmalG@reddit
Sheâs bipolar. Your retaliatory harassment may indeed be justified, but unintended consequences are too big of a risk.
fermentedelement@reddit
BPD = borderline personality disorder
BD = bipolar disorder
Booksac777@reddit
Living good is the best revenge, block her and go find your happiness. Fucking with her is stooping to her level, and it will slowly turn you into her.
fermentedelement@reddit
Salting someoneâs lawn will turn you into an abuser? đ¤
Puceeffoc@reddit
This is more of a one time FU, but here are a few bullet points pick one, change it however you see fit:
muckalucks@reddit
To be fair, I think that last one would really hurt anyone, for their spouse to bypass them with any inheritance, narcissistic or nor. That would be akin to a break up text after death after sharing money and resources throughout life as a married couple, don't you think? Sorry, not your point, just got me thinking lol
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Omfg I love this!!! She's said for DECADES all she cares about is inheritance!!
soxyloxy@reddit
As someone with bpd the best thing would be to make a promise of making everything right and good with her only to abandon her. I would not consider myself an abusive bpd but I do have it, and abandonment is the worst for us.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Not trying to offend you in any way at all, truly... Do you have moments where you lash out violently on a daily basis? Scream at the people you love and tell them they should kill themselves? I truly don't mean disrespect to you. I know everybody is different. I never want her in my life ever again. Ever. My daughter refuses to have them know anything about her life going forward. Its heartbreaking, but we have to put boundaries up. I've been begging her to get help for years. She won't. I admire your ability to talk about it freely like this. I can't imagine how hard this must be for anybody. I hope you find peace my Internet stranger xoxo
NoKatyDidnt@reddit
Iâm not great at petty revenge, but I know a guy. Iâll get back to you.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Yasssss dm me
LuementalQueen@reddit
Anchovy juice in the air vents of the car.
Mint bomb her yard.
Throw birdseed on her car at night. Repeatedly.
Get some useless keys, add tags with a random letter and number written on them and "if found call -". Use her number. Scatter them around her city. Or other cities. Hell, padlock keys might even work.
Make a separate instagram. Make your life look picture perfect. Sprinkle in posts about how motherhood is the greatest gift, and how glad you are to have your daughter. Do not mention her at all. That way if she stalks you, all she sees is good stuff, and nothing she can use. Block her if she comments or messages, but leave it public. You're curating it so she thinks she's got you in her sights, but all she sees is you having a good life without her.
Do not engage with her. At all. At least, to her knowledge.
And finally, an oldie from my mother, who always suggests this to me: put poop in a paper bag, put it on her doorstep, and set it on fire. Then knock/ring and run off. Either she tries to stomp it out and gets poop on her shoes, or she has to clean it up at some point.
Also, sparklers scraped into a small container, and placed in a mailbox with one sticking it out and lit does some damage. Ask me how I know.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
đđđ
BearcatInTheBurbs@reddit
You need therapy and to focus on your immediate family. Revenge on your mother will only hurt YOU in the long run. Please do not let this hurt and anger pull you to do subhuman things to a mentally unwell human.
And try to remember: you are also teaching your child how to act in the future. Your child deserves an emotionally stable parent who can model what acceptable behavior looks like.
I also have a BPD mother. It is awful. I understand. đŤś
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Known-Skin3639@reddit
Sign her up with religious stuff all the way down to raunchy porn sites and everything in between. Sign her up for magazine subs as well. They still exist but no customer service so itâs hard to unsubscribe from them. Call a couple real estate companies and say youâre interested in selling. And by a couple I mean all of them in her area. They are as bad as Scientologist.
lun4d0r4@reddit
Pour chicken stock into her grass. It will attract all of the local animals.
thespiritualtree@reddit
alternatively, you can spread powdered milk on a dewy morning and come afternoon she will have a lovely yard of spoiled milk
Pockets174217@reddit
Could also try dehydrated potatoes, maybe theyâll expand into mashed potatoes lawn lol
miserylovescomputers@reddit
Instant mashed potatoes make a phenomenal snowy yard!
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Holy shit I'm laughing so hard
lun4d0r4@reddit
Oh God I can already smell it!
kalixanthippe@reddit
Toss bullion cubes... destroys the grass and attracts animals.
mister-ferguson@reddit
Toss local animals on the grass. Attracts bullion cubes.
kauzige@reddit
Attract local grass. Tosses animals on the boillon cubes.
suicide_blonde94@reddit
Yooooooooo thatâs so beautiful and petty â¨
frederichenrylt@reddit
This is amazing.
Olderbutnotdead619@reddit
Sprinkle dry cat food all around her house and in little spaces. You won't believe what it will attract. Lol If she has a car scatter some under the seats and in the trunk. Put some in her air filter too or into the ac/heat vents. Keep us posted.
DiligentMeat9627@reddit
Send her picture's of you living your best life. Post on something like facebook how much better your life is now that she is out of it.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Idk why this is getting down votes because it's SO true!!!! Before I stopped contact with her, she was soooo jealous of my life without her. She flew off the handle so many times. I wasn't even trying to make her mad. It was me expressing my gratitude and love for my life currently. She hated it. But I've blocked her now because I don't want her knowing anything about me and my daughter's lives.
shelf_satisfied@reddit
Create Instagram and Facebook profiles in her name, using her actual photos plus plenty of AI generated nastiness (basically anything you can think of that she would hate or be embarrassed by).
For added cruelty, add links her to brand new OnlyFans page.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Omg lmfao
CopiousAmountsofJizz@reddit
How much of her financial details do you have access to?
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
I did last year. I'm recently majorly disabled. My partner realizes it was too heavy for him and bounced. I didn't have a job, I had no money, we were on the verge of eviction. She inserted myself in my life by calling me from another family members phone. Yes, I was grateful she came to "help" with food, and all my bills. This only lasted a few months. She took over my lease immediately, then a month in, she said we were all moving out. She took over everything in my life, I didn't ask for any of it, and then she fucked everything up even bigger. I could have downsized to cheaper phones for my kid and I and get something like mint mobile or something. I ended up having to pay 6 months of phone bills because she called and said I stole her credit card. This goes for EVERY single bill for MONTHS. Yes I was grateful having help with groceries, bills and cooking, but it came with severe abuse every single day. The worse I've ever known.
WuT4ngClam@reddit
The best revenge is silence. Don't let them know what they did wrong, if they have to guess then it was the right call as they'll never know or care.
Pockets174217@reddit
List the items on her front porch for sale and tell people to just pick them up without knocking lol
Pockets174217@reddit
If you could get inside the house, stuff raw shrimp in the ends of her curtain rods. No one would look there and itâll smell horrible really fast.
Pockets174217@reddit
You can order various sizes of boxes of live Dubia roaches online shipped direct to their house. Sign their email or phone up for online college interest lists and auto insurance quotes. You could try to catfish her online or lure her into a scam without actually scamming her in the end. You could hire those singing telegrams or a mariachi band to perform for hours at weird times. You could bottle your own piss and mail it to her.
HardCoreNorthShore@reddit
I had a mother like this. I'm so so sorry.
EhMapleMoose@reddit
Sign her up for Scientology
Horror-Pickle583@reddit
NGL, I have doubts about the validity of your story simply because your mother asked you to stop contacting you but you are insisting on harassing her from a distance. Kinda calls your maturity into question. Idk what actually transpired between you and your mom, but if things are that bad then you should actually cut it off and move on. Not pretend to cut it off while obsessing over how to get even.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Check my post history under /raisedbyborderlines (I think that's what it's called). You can see screenshots. You can see all the horrific things she's said to me (definitely not all, hardly less than 1%. But they are basically always carbon copies of the other.
mrsmacdonald22@reddit
Hire someone to beat her ass
Silly-Concern1736@reddit
OP, my mother is the exact same way, and with people like this, silence is the ultimate revenge. She only told you never to reach out again to get under your skin, but for narcissistic mothers, the daughter is the main supply. Sheâs going to do everything under the sun to manipulate you into thinking sheâs changed. She never will. Go no contact forever.
Asleep_Assistant_468@reddit
Yeah for someone with untreated bpd; being literal about the âdead to meâ remark can be torture.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Especially with a previous suicide attempt in almost died from, yeah. And dealing with the most painful condition known to man that is permanent, for the rest of my life. I just everything. I have had SI since 2023 because my life is over. I have no real family except my kid, but I can't and won't expect her to take care of me or handle anything other than her normal teen things like homework and laundry etc.
Eskyzoo@reddit
Sorry for all that you've endured but well done on going no-contact. The best and healthiest thing you can do for you and your daughter really, is re-establish a strict NO CONTACT rule ..... forever.
NurseKaila@reddit
Is that unethical?
fermentedelement@reddit
Giving you an upvote for solidarity
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Thank you, you're making me cry đ (happy, and making me feel seen)
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Nope
gl0ssyy@reddit
weirdo
NurseKaila@reddit
Itâs weird to expect unethical tips on checks notes UnethicalLifeProTips?
Prestigious-Dot-9340@reddit
Sometimes instead of making a funny itâs acceptable to make sure your fellow human is okay. We are all we got in this world
NurseKaila@reddit
Iâm sure there are thousands of other forums dedicated to that. This page isnât. One unethical tip and a bunch of people admonishing me for wondering what the fuck weâre doing here.
Prestigious-Dot-9340@reddit
Weird take Kaila, go touch grass.
UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit
Your comment was removed for violating rule 14: No reason to be a dick. Seriously, get therapy or fuck off.
NurseKaila@reddit
So youâre advocating for others to âmake sure your fellow human is okayâ while defending someone who called me âweirdoâ and are now attempting to berate me? Interesting.
gl0ssyy@reddit
playing reddit police over people offering genuine and advice and support to someone is weirdo behavior.
fermentedelement@reddit
Sorry, coming to offer another perspective: This advice was not asked for. I canât tell you how many unsolicited opinions Iâve gotten on how to handle my relationship with my abusive parents. Itâs condescending most places, but especially in this sub. If we were in a recovery-focused sub it would be more welcome.
Prestigious-Dot-9340@reddit
I didnât see the weirdo comment so I apologize, your point is valid.
GCseedling@reddit
If she put you in the hospital, Iâm assuming you have evidence? Maybe go to the cops with your evidence that you took because these events really happened?
AffectionateMarch394@reddit
Worst and from a distance?
Alright bring it on.
Start mailing her letters from her dad. Push her into full blown crazy but convincing her he's alive and it was all a giant conspiracy coverup.
its_edamame@reddit (OP)
Omfg lmaoooooo. Top notch!!!!
gre8tlakesmermaid@reddit
Sign her up as requesting a visit from a Jehovah Witness. I think you can go online and request a visit. There should be a Kingdom Hall somewhere near her. They won't stop coming.
JulieThinx@reddit
Complete and utter silence
EagleBigMac@reddit
Get her committed and get power of attorney over her and leave her locked in a mental hospital with no ability to check herself out.
tree_beard_8675301@reddit
Have you seen âBetter Call Saul?â Great show, highly recommend. The first thing that comes to mind is disappearing. Take âno contactâ to the next level and move far away and change your names. Or at least move far away and change all your contact info. Bonus points if you move while she is locked up on a 3-day mental health hold for being a threat to herself or others.
green_prepper@reddit
Use a funnel to pour very fine glitter into the air intakes (located below the windshield) of her vehicle. Next time she uses the ac glitter will blow out the vents all over her and the vehicle.
ShitFireSavedMatches@reddit
The best thing you can do that will bother her the most is nothing. People like her thrive on any attention, even negative. Don't feed the troll.
Moving on and living your best life is the best revenge. Get a good therapist for you and your daughter
Kind_Membership33@reddit
My mother has narcissism and BPD, I'm not mentioning that lightly. Yet what really fucked her up was cutting her out of my life. She tried stalking, bribes, and guilt. I had to delete emails and change numbers. I am eventually moving out of state without telling the rest of my family because I know she keeps tabs on me.
They need to feel in control and because they systematically abuse you, you live rent free in their head. Cut that off without warning and they spiral. Don't tell them when you are leaving, abruptly leave. An elaborate revenge plan just reinforces that THEY are the true victim and they were right to abuse you because you were as terrible as they implied (not because you are, but that's how abusive people think).
therealhughjaynis@reddit
Just be happy. Thatâs all it takes for these fucking assholes to implode. My mother HATES me, Iâm doing great and Iâve heard it makes her miserable.
AdoraBelleQueerArt@reddit
Live your best life! They hate it when their victims are happy
RomulaFour@reddit
The very best thing you can do is free yourself from this 'relationship.' Cut off all contact, don't even think of her. By focusing on revenge, you are putting your mother right back into the middle of your life. If you could move elsewhere and hide your new location, that would be best.
OrcishDelight@reddit
Just write her a letter telling her she is old, and will die much sooner than you. When she does, no one will attend her funeral. No one will pay to waste ground for her corpse. Tell her you will get her ashes in an urn, and you look forward to taking a giant shit inside the urn. Tell her that your turds have never landed somewhere so unworthy. Tell her everyone actually hates her, and she wasted all of her family and friends. Make sure she knows she is the common denominator in all of her misery and suffering. Remind her she chose to have you, and thank her, for you took her life force but didn't have to inherit her junk ass brain. Send it in a frame. Send different versions of these letters, all framed. Tell her that if she breaks or destroys them, you still win, because she's a piece of shit who is afraid of her own kid and feels threatened by words on paper. Tell her that besides being the incubator, she only serves as an example of what NOT to do as a parent, and that her abuse ends with you. Tell her you told everyone in your life that your suicide attempt in 2014 was actually her attempting to murder you, and tell her that you told them all that she died, and bo one will ever think of her again. Tell her she is such a bad mother that she was the only reason you ever sought death. Tell her people will cheer at news of her obituary. If she has friends, other family, reveal her antics. No return address. Now, go to one of the real troll sites, share her info, and say "do your worst, nothing criminal" and then forget she ever existed.
Best_Baseball8176@reddit
There's always the old classic; put jumbo shrimp in her curtain rods.
lashoboo@reddit
i mean, you said she's mentally ill, so idk maybe revenge isn't the way vs going no contact...
FrostiePi@reddit
Mail order bed bugs. (Apparently actually a thing.)
Next time you go over, put those tiny little alarm dots in vents/curtain rails. They go off at random periods with little clicky ticks, never the same pace, and not loud enough or often enough generally to be found.
Confetti bomb box of dicks mailed anonymously from time to time.
Sign her number/email/address up to mail from the usual religious groups. Once they start, they rarely stop. And if they do, hey look. Resigned up.
LuementalQueen@reddit
Don't do bed bugs.
Do ladybugs. Non invasive, eat aphids, don't cause issues for the neighbours, but can do property damage inside. Also can be easily mail ordered by the hundreds as a natural pest control.
They'll also be happy to get out once opened. They recommend putting them in the fridge for a few minutes to slow down before putting them on plants.
Just in case you need to put them straight into the box...
lewkir@reddit
What damage can ladybirds do?
LuementalQueen@reddit
A surprising amount.
https://www.agpest.com/ladybug-infestation-helpful-or-harmful/
Mostly cosmetic though. I knew someone who had an infestation once and it took months to clean it all up.
lewkir@reddit
Ah we had a loveliness in our hallway of about 20 or so, I did notice the smell but nothing particularly obnoxious
umanonion@reddit
Today I learned that the collective noun for ladybirds/ladybugs is a loveliness.
Xtay1@reddit
Put her house on the market. Open house viewing.
Academic_Air4284@reddit
Best thing you can do is vigorously pursue your own happiness and healing and your daughterâs too. You choose where your energy goes. She canât control that. If you give her your attention and energy with revenge or hateful thoughts - she is still winning. If you give your energy to yourself and your daughter- youâre winning. Nothing you ever do or say to her will erase the trauma so why waste your precious energy on it?
sirkev71@reddit
If you have access to their yard throwing a bunch of mint seeds in their yard....
nwillard@reddit
Recently something I learned from watching A Clockwork Orange is sometimes it's better to be the bigger person and not put more suffering into the world, because it's liable to come back around on you in some form.
Put some posters up in her neighborhood telling people to watch out for this crazy *. Frame it as a notice from a neighbor. Keep in vague and reference unspecified incidents (you know there must be some) and maybe some crazy shit that didn't happen. Neighbors will get the picture and she'll probably be engaged if she finds one.
QuillDidNothingWrong@reddit
I always suggest mail fraud via sending embarrassing magazines using an email that looks like hers from a library computer with a visa gift card. Or sign her up for in-person Mormon Bible studies.Â
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brainhack3r@reddit
Oh, I have an evil one.
Get pregnant. It's a false pregnancy though. Tell her you're going to name the baby after her, since she was such an amazing mother.
Then, 6 months into the 'pregnancy' tell her the baby died and that you can't have any more children.
Either that or tell her you aborted the baby because you don't want anything to remind you of her.
That's truly evil man.
SnarkIsMyDefault@reddit
toxic parent. block her and sever all contact. not worth petty revenge.
Ok-Discount-4981@reddit
Why the hell is this comment section full fo saints saying "move on" like WHAT THE FK She is pure EVIL and deserves a lot of things......like her house being TP'd, or egged, signing her phone no/email id/address up for lots of promotions or workshops or the duolingo bird, putting influential pamphlets in neighbors mailboxes
Adlo if you have embarrasing photos of her, USE THEM TO THE FULLEST EXTENT
Straight_Ace@reddit
Give her phone number to scammers
green-angel2009@reddit
I'm only suggesting these things bc YOU asked. Warning : if you're not in anyway sneaky, don't try half of these and always be prepared for consequences. And RULE #1, don't involve or tell anyone if you do anything listed by anyone in this thread. That's how you get caught. Take the license plate off her car... it's a complete shit show, ask my ex. getting pulled over, having to go buy another one, going to court for ticket , it was sweet revenge. Just make sure u don't get caught. Also, if u have access to the inside of her home... those damn little machines that sound like cricket got in your house will drive a person MAD. It has a timer on it and goes off and random times Or dump a gallon of diesel in her gas tank, that is a whole situation to get fixed. I accidentally did it to my own truck once đ¤Śââď¸
fluffitude@reddit
"long distance"
mycatisgrumpy@reddit
I know this isn't unethical, but you can't out-crazy crazy. Sometimes the only way to win is not to play. Let your peace be your revenge.Â
DrunkensAndDragons@reddit
Long term. Become rich and dont support them.Â
meanie78@reddit
Schedule an appt with Jehova witness, sign her up for all the newsletters for anything you see. If she works, make multiple accts and leave crazy reviews on her, or call and complain. If you live close enough, you can dump instant mashed potato flakes in her front yard just before it rains and watch the fun begin.
DutchRudderShotgun@reddit
Buddy, how much time ya got?
MNConcerto@reddit
Salt her yard
Hefty_Peanut@reddit
The best revenge is to live a good life. I recently had a day where I realized I hadn't actually thought about my mum for months and that felt so much better than actively going out to annoy her.
Different-While8090@reddit
I've been no contact for ten years, and its like they dont exist anymore except in my old memories. Its a nice way to live.
WheredoesithurtRA@reddit
The best thing you can do is go completely no contact.
willcard@reddit
Long term revenge: donât talk to her ever again. Be happy and let her watch from a distance
Muggins2233@reddit
No contact and live your best life. Never be tempted again to enter her world. Move away if possible. It will bother her more if you do this. It doesnât matter if someday she gets her act together. My mom is dead and still can get in my head but you have to keep pushing her out and be free.