Need advice as a Dallas homeowner
Posted by ezvictor@reddit | Dallas | View on Reddit | 50 comments
Hi! I need some advice I bought a house recently in the Oak Cliff area and overall it’s a nice neighborhood can’t complain too much, but the house itself seems to have come with a visitor. There is a lady in the neighborhood that has been coming up and taking my mail and also delivering me other peoples mail (I have called police and postal inspector on this and they haven’t been much help) during the day. She will also occasionally come by at night and talk to herself on the porch, like last night she came up for a second talking about how she was headed to Wichita Falls before my security system asked her to identify herself and she ran off. I’ve been told by police they know who she is and it’s a mental issue and that she does have an address in the neighborhood but I would like her to stop. I feel bad that the system is clearly working against her and she isn’t getting what she needs but I’m also concerned about my safety as I’m not sure what her mental state is. What would you do to deter her from coming onto your property? Currently I have surveillance signs up, a security system and a beware of dog sign.
Poodle-214@reddit
Get an actual DOG!
vwscienceandart@reddit
Ok, so this is typically stated way too often as a glib and dramatic response, but I would say this is a LEGITIMATE case for motion activated sprinklers. I think in nearly any mental state, if you get surprise-pelted with freezing cold water enough times, you’ll stop coming around.
civil_beast@reddit
Once it gets to summer heat, he’ll likely have me running into his yard
Wide-Dark-2187@reddit
Running to his yard like a boy looking for milkshakes.
soggyballsack@reddit
With motion activated sprinklers? Fuck yeah I'm in. "Oops, I accidentally frolicked on your yard"
civil_beast@reddit
Username checks out
Liberteabelle1@reddit
Brilliant
9bikes@reddit
I deal with the homeless more days than not. I know you said she isn't homeless, but still there's mental illness going on.
What has worked best for me is to be firm and repetitive. "You cannot come onto this porch or mess with the mailbox.". Don't be mean to her. Don't be nice to her. Just firm.
You'll likely have to confront her over and over. Eventually, you'll make progress. Don't lose your cool and yell at or curse her. Don't offer any compromise. Just be the iceman. Just deliver the facts. "You cannot come onto this porch or mess with the mailbox.".
kellun133@reddit
Yeah unfortunately this has to be the course of action if there is no support or anything being done by any authorities or support systems. Maybe she used to have a friend at that address and is used to heading over there? You never know.
9bikes@reddit
>Maybe she used to have a friend at that address and is used to heading over there? You never know.
It absolutely could be.
We bought the old house we use as an office/workshop from a very sweet elderly lady. She would give them water, let them do work for a little cash, and such. We had a lot of problems until it was firmly established that we weren't going to do any of that.
We have land that's outside our fence and regularly have to tell them "you can't camp here". Almost all of them have been polite and cooperative. Most even thank us for "being nice about it". We aren't particularly nice; we just don't yell, curse or threaten them.
luna2152@reddit
I was homeless for awhile years and years ago, living in my car. It was sometimes difficult to find a safe place to park, so I got told to move pretty regularly. From personal experience, the way you're handling that is very much "being nice" from their perspective. People can be absolutely cruel to homeless people, just because.
9bikes@reddit
>the way you're handling that is very much "being nice" from their perspective
I know that there are people who are very mean to the homeless. I don't see how they can justify mistreating another human being, but I do understand their frustration.
On a day-to-day basis, the biggest problem with their encampments in the trash they so often leave behind. We pay a part-timer to help on the property. About half his time is picking up trash they've left. We've had them drag furniture there that we have had to haul to the dump and pay dump fees to dispose of.
We can't ignore their trash. My neighbor tried that and the city fined him $600.
We can't fence all the way to our property line as the creek bisects our land and DART has an easement where we have to allow them 24/7 access.
It is our land outside the fence where we often have to say "Sorry, you can't camp here.".
The overwhelming majority of times I had to tell them, they have been polite and done as I've asked. There have been only a handful of crazy encounters.
I had one go off on a racist tirade and call me all the slurs for my race. The funny thing is he's the same race I am! However, he said all this as he was moving his stuff, just like I asked.
One introduced himself to me, "They call me 'Stabby', but I only stabbed one person and I did my time for that.". Nice to meet you, Stabby! If this skinny, old man ever stabbed anyone, it was probably 50 years ago. He moved his stuff just like I asked.
I watched a woman dump our trashcan in the street and try to light our trash on fire. I went out and told her "Ma'am, don't start fires. They could get out of hand and hurt someone.". She said "I didn't start a fire", then added "I am usually able to ignore what the voices tell me to do.".
The danger of the homeless is vastly exaggerated. Once in a while, you'll get some crazy talk out of them but that's usually the extent of it. Of course, violent encounters do happen but they're rare enough that they are newsworthy.
civil_beast@reddit
Right- as one would expect to do if it were a child.
Honestly, this is the correct approach.
DeathByGoldfish@reddit
Perfect. I will add to this that getting a locking mailbox will help with the mail issue.
liquidnight247@reddit
And get a lockable mail box
ApprehensiveAnswer5@reddit
This would be my input as well.
Don’t overcomplicate by trying to ask questions or find out their why, just be direct about what you want their action to be.
What the above person posted is perfect- “you cannot come onto this porch or mess with this mailbox”.
And just repeat that every time. Same line.
Eventually, it will sink in. And your house will become “I cannot go onto that porch or mess with that mailbox”.
If there isn’t anyone that’s a caregiver or guardian for her that you can intervene with, then that’s your realistic option.
StrawberryHour7102@reddit
Had a situation on my street where a man, that did live in the neighborhood, would walk the streets talking to himself and yelling at people when he saw them. He would also go stare in your windows if the shades were open. Police called several times as he was just watching children in a house. One day he disappeared and I have no idea what happened to him.
Liberteabelle1@reddit
Many many years ago, we had a guy like that, probably 16-17. Then it stepped up… I had to be up at night nursing my newborn, and he smashed his face against my window to freak me out, which it did. He came back several times, one night I heard noise at the window above my headboard, and when I pulled back the curtain to peek, there was a hand there. Fortunately I was married and my husband went out and chased him off. But he was making the rounds around my little quadplex, and made my single neighbor nervous… since we shared a wall with our bedrooms, I told her to bang on the wall if he came. He did and we heard hysterical banging on the wall and chased him off. A scary time, but he was a juvenile and was not being prosecuted. But eventually he was imprisoned for rape.
StrawberryHour7102@reddit
Omg! That’s scary and your single neighbor definitely had cause for concern!
Bookssportsandwine@reddit
I know you’ve tried the police but could you call adult protective services?
ezvictor@reddit (OP)
Haven’t thought of that I’ll call and see what they say!
Liberteabelle1@reddit
Consider renting a post office box.
Onemorechick89@reddit
We had a similar issue at my parents house in Austin. We put up cameras. When we found out where he lived we notified the cops and they sent an “ambassador” to talk to his family to keep him under control. This was to prevent charges of vandalism, trespassing. The postal inspector was not interested at all about damages to our mailbox or mail disappearing. Also because the family were renters we told the cops to make it clear we would pursue complaints to the landlord and any further damages could lead to eviction. He stopped.
Liberteabelle1@reddit
I feel sorry for the family
hototter35@reddit
wouldn't this be a case for uspis?
ezvictor@reddit (OP)
You would think 6 case numbers and counting lol
huvanile@reddit
"but the house itself seems to have come with a visitor"... i thought you were going to say haunted. :(
Level-Creme-3379@reddit
Call Adult Protective Services, they’ll be able to connect her with resources.
TransportationEng@reddit
Get a locking mailbox.
ezvictor@reddit (OP)
Did that. Now that’s why I’m getting other people mail lol
cilantro88@reddit
Electrify the mailbox after the mail gets delivered. A few shocks should do the trick.
cilantro88@reddit
WOOOW!!! So I just got a reddit warning for threatening violence related to a very obvious JOKE I was making around the use of electricity. Insane!!
TransportationEng@reddit
It's a good chance to meet your neighbors!
assholy_than_thou@reddit
I’d let her be;
Standard-Tennis-6214@reddit
🤡
D3adaH3adofU@reddit
I would suggest speaking with your neighbors about the situation before taking any action. Having grown up in and around this area, I can assure you that even though the area has for the most part been gentrified, there still remains an strong undercurrent which you don't want to get caught up in. This would also be a good way for you to get to know your neighbors a little better. Just my 2 cents!
Itchy_Lab6034@reddit
She on your property? Walk outside gun in hand. She will get the message real quick
Pangolinger@reddit
I think in that situation, the postmaster general would be a good place to start. What a weird situation! I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that.
ezvictor@reddit (OP)
The thing is I’ve tried already and it looked like it was getting some traction and then nothing 😕 which is a bummer because she’s delivering me other peoples mail in the neighborhood sometimes
Big_Seaworthiness948@reddit
Maybe you could start a campaign for the whole block (or more) to get locking mailboxes.
ohkokokay@reddit
Have you talked to your neighbors? This would give me so much anxiety, I’d have to introduce myself and ask if they know any history. You’ve done a lot already, maybe they’ve got some suggestions?
ezvictor@reddit (OP)
Yeah my neighbors said she only started coming around when the house went vacant while it was for sale. Was hoping that somebody obviously living in it would make her stop but sadly not yet lol. My neighbor actually did confront her and told her to get off the property the other day when he was on his porch and saw her heading to go take my mail. She yelled back at him about how she lives here and then left.
civil_beast@reddit
Spooky
Pecan_Artist@reddit
I was recently suckered punched by a homeless man (I am a woman) for no reason in Lower Greenville. After I called the police for a report I found out he was arrested after sucker punching another woman. Now I am hyper aware and take no chances. They guy just snapped and lunged at me out of nowhere. Be safe.
gr0uchyMofo@reddit
Locking mailbox and an app controlled water sprinkler.
atomicgoat@reddit
Replace the mailbox with a lock box.
tracelt@reddit
Motion activated sprinklers
patowan@reddit
You might have better luck with the non emergency police line, 2147444444. Then go to 311 and report it. 311 is actually quite efficient and would get her the help she needs. The non emergency is pretty much for documentation. I had an issue in my neighborhood which finally got resolved through above steps.
ezvictor@reddit (OP)
Thank you!! I’ll try that
Corgisarethebest123@reddit
You should pay her some money to go to another house.