Dating.
Posted by PotentialPlum4945@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 371 comments
I’m newly single again. I just got out of a relationship with a woman I dated years ago. All in we had about 2.5 years together. We both ended it amicably. I’m 44. I’m educated. I have a healthy BMI. I dread the dating scene if this is who I’m stuck with according to algorithms. Jesus fucking Christ.
Fenrirs-Fang@reddit
48M, divorced two years ago after 22 years of marriage. I’m balding and overweight, but decent looking as well as friendly and emotionally available. I was shocked at how much attention I got from women after the divorce. I didn’t have this much appeal when I was in my 20s. Women in their 40s or 50s know what they want and aren’t shy about it. When you are ready, give dating a shot, you may be surprised. Good luck!
Remote_Reaction_4085@reddit
Haha similarities here but I went the other way with it. Homeruns with the 20 and 30 somethings.
Aint life grand.
fluffypinkblonde@reddit
ew
Remote_Reaction_4085@reddit
Lots of cat mums hate this one cool trick!
aburningcaldera@reddit
Take a break. I’m 43. I have had some interests and flings for the past year away from a relationship. Mostly someone has to meet my standards (which are basically breathe and maintain yourself) and I’ve been around the block long enough to know what a red flag looks like now - unfortunately in my younger days I did not.
Breathe. Enjoy being free and you might just consider what I am is that there may not be a forever partner… just tossing it out there in my opinion
Fallen_Muppet@reddit
Im a 48 yo female. I was married to a woman for 17 years (I'm bi). All I wanted was someone nice, kind. He is 29, turns 30 in June. I got exactly what I asked for. Kindest person I've ever met. There is hope 💛.
HedyHarlowe@reddit
45f. The apps are terrible. I don’t have the patience or the time to trawl through ‘hey’ ‘good wbu’ and ‘undecided/maybe wants kids’ and the dude is 50. I’m rolling the old fashioned way meaning focusing on doing what I love and meeting people that way.
scifithighs@reddit
If they're over 40 and their profile says "may want kids someday," it means they want to date much younger.
HedyHarlowe@reddit
As I suspected :)
gooddaysir@reddit
Hey man, don’t be judgy. I’m only 47 1/2 and undecided/maybe wants kids, ok?!
lurkylurkeroo@reddit
43F checking in. My thoughts on ever dating again:
Agonoized@reddit
42M here. Haha this is accurate and how I’ve felt for many years. I’ve checked out the apps a couple of times and then promptly uninstalled. It’s a dumpster fire out there.
Ok_Repair684@reddit
I found a neurodivergent dating app that I was curious about- trying to finish my degree during my divorce made that ADHD diagnosis I never paid attention to suddenly incredibly relevant (unnecessary overshare: ✅)- but I can’t get past the part where I gotta do a selfie photo shoot. My phone’s camera is for remembering where I parked or the shit I need at Trader Joe’s, not finding the algorithmically preferred angle and trying to look smoldery.
Agonoized@reddit
I’m nero-spicy as well, an app for similar folks to find each other sounds like a good idea! I totally get what you mean about selfies, I’ve never been one to take them. Haha I agree, my camera is also for practical uses, and dog pictures!
Ok_Repair684@reddit
the app was called Hiki. I never made it past registration and the realization that my son is in every picture of me since covid, but I was able to find a few reviews. Most of them were negative, citing predictable money-grubbing practices you'd expect from dating apps. I also recall someone pointing to low membership numbers making it useless unless in densely populated areas.
Agonoized@reddit
Yeah low membership numbers appears to be a common issue with a lot of niche dating apps. There was a childfree dating app I was looking at, but it had the same problem and just felt like a cash grab. Great ideas in theory. Just brings us back to the fact that dating sucks now 🤪
IslandGrover@reddit
Get out in the real world. I ended up meeting my now wife in-person through mutual friends I was in a class with. The apps are fun for a little practice, but ultimately pretty discouraging.
Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit
I agree. Very few of my friends met their long term partners online. Seems like a cespool.
imnottheoneipromise@reddit
I met my husband on match.com… but that was 15 years ago. Things have changed a lot since then. I am so glad I don’t have to play the dating game.
AstuteStoat@reddit
I think statistically nost women are leaving the apps too. It feels like it's mostly just toxic people looking to stroke their ego and cheat who are on apps these days.
saison257@reddit
I got divorced 2 years ago and never even joined the apps bc I heard from other girlfriends (and a couple guy friends) how toxic it is on them. No thanks. If I meet someone, it'll be while I'm out somewhere, the way we used to have to do it in the olden days of 20 years ago. 👵 But it's slim pickins out in the wild these days, too.
Basic-Pair8908@reddit
Ive met my ex through friends, ive never forgiven them
KhajiitHasSkooma@reddit
The real world?
I met my wife playing Elder Scrolls Online. But hey, at the end of the day it’s what works that counts.
burlimonster@reddit
That’s awesome! You in a guild? Long time player getting back into it. Would love to be part of a good community.
Av33na@reddit
Long time player getting back into it also!! Really enjoyed the Hero’s Welcome quests, it really helped jog my memory on things. God I’m old 🤣
MommaOfManyCats@reddit
A friend left her husband last year, and I told her that I didn't envy her at all. I have zero percent interest in dating again. She met a guy pretty fast, they got into a full on relationship, and then she found out he had a wife and two kids. Even if my partner and I ended our ridiculously long relationship tomorrow, I think I'd rather just live the rest of my life with my cats lol.
imnottheoneipromise@reddit
Been with my husband for over 15 years. If something happens and we are no longer together, I would not even consider dating. I have zero sex drive and no desire to have a sex drive. I have no use for a man. We are building a house behind my parents and they are all I need for companionship if my husband was gone.
For the record though, I adore my husband and would not want to do life without him or any other way than he and I are doing it, but sometimes shit happens. If it did I would not at all be interested in trying to find someone else. He’s irreplaceable
DarkAngela12@reddit
Yeah, my ex got mad and told me I was going to die alone with my cats. And I was like.... so? That sounds pretty damn good.
Terpey_Walrus420@reddit
Welcome to being single for the rest of your life. I'm right there with ya. No one's looking for a partner anymore
throwsplasticattrees@reddit
It's all about your perspective. If you like meeting people and enjoy small talk that occasionally leads to a romantic connection, dating is a lot of fun. If you are an optimist and hold out hope that you will meet someone or maybe even a few someone's, dating if fun.
But, if you go into with dread and dismay, that will project on your dates and it won't be much fun.
I enjoy it. It's a process, using the apps can feel hopeless, but if you put in the time, keep a positive attitude the rewards can be quite enjoyable.
IdioticPrototype@reddit
I'm a straight man and I'm almost willing to enter into a domestic partnership with another dude just for financial stability.
It's hard out there.
At_the_Roundhouse@reddit
I'm fully embracing that I may end up living the Golden Girls life. Which... honestly sounds great.
saison257@reddit
I've honestly had this conversation with a couple of my girlfriends. We have a few years to go before we get there, lol, but it is not outside the realm of possibility.
grandma-activities@reddit
Goals, actually. I've told my two closest friends that they are 100% welcome to move in with me after we're all retired. My mom is here too, so it'll really be a Golden Girls situation.
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
All I can think of is this scene from married with children
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uuQF7QQ8htw
Northie_78753@reddit
I have friends of different genders do this! It's worked and not worked like everything else. Why not? I like being alone, but maybe one day, share a lot with two tiny homes with a close, reliable bud. Good luck!
Basic-Pair8908@reddit
Bert looking for Ernie
MossyJoke@reddit
It’s hard out there…
turntabletennis@reddit
IdioticPrototype@reddit
Shut up, dumbass! 🤣
Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit
Some of my friends and I are thinking about going in on a mansion together. Starting a little home share/cult/commune... thing.
It's cheap!
sarcasmo818@reddit
Where you located??
IdioticPrototype@reddit
Central Florida! The weather is fantastic but literally everything else is fucking questionable.
Imaginary-Pain9598@reddit
Don’t invite people here are you crazy
bh4th@reddit
I agree that it’s an objectively crazy thing to do… while also asserting that this sub has struck me as unusually well-adjusted. Probably a better chance than some rando off the street.
IdioticPrototype@reddit
I've been accused of worse. 😏
Shinespark7@reddit
Think of all the Halo/GoldenEye couch sessions.
proxminesincomplex@reddit
You rang?
Ok-Criticism6874@reddit
Srslywhyumadbro@reddit
Honestly not a terrible plan.
Hetero life partners.
ponchoacademy@reddit
Oh great...now Im not going to be able to get The Odd Couple theme song out of my head...
Wak3upHicks@reddit
I gave up years ago, not worth the headache
1101base2@reddit
i tried for about a year and a half four years after my divorce, this is the correct answer IMO
Still-Minimum-7212@reddit
Being alone means no one can tell me I'm too old to be playing Playstation.
S_A_R_K@reddit
You're too old to be playing PlayStation (they have ps5 now)
proxminesincomplex@reddit
What if they’re using an emulator
MunkyDawg@reddit
Then they'd be "playing PC", right? Makes sense to me anyways.
proxminesincomplex@reddit
This is actually kind of an interesting foray into semantics; anytime I’ve used an emulator, I supposed I’ve stated that I’m playing the game, and then specified via emulation. Can you still run emulators on the Microsoft products? (I feel like I’m showing my age here)
Wak3upHicks@reddit
You can run an emulator on a toaster if you're feeling froggy enough
proxminesincomplex@reddit
I don’t need my appliances talking to each other; the robots will kill us
S_A_R_K@reddit
You just reminded me of the excellent movie Runaway starring Tom Selleck and Gene Simmons
proxminesincomplex@reddit
If this removes an hour and half of living from my life like when I was convinced to watch Over The Top I will hack all of your appliances
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
Or drive us insane with inane chatter about their obsession with cooked bread products
Example of the hell that awaits us
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLm6oTCFcxQ
AJ14847414@reddit
The last time I did that…..
Kumba42@reddit
You can. It's been a long few years, but I definitely remember playing some old SNES games under ZSNES (still maintained) within the past decade ( think it might've been ChronoTrigger). There's also Snes9x, but ZSNES was always my go to for some reason.
the__ghola__hayt@reddit
Pause your Nintendo and help get the groceries.
Ok_Repair684@reddit
You ARE too old to be playing PlayStation. Take the money you’d be flushing buying drinks for randos and however much first date dinners costs and buy yourself a PC.
Got myself a rig with cool lights in tower after my divorce settlement came through. Does that count as a glow-up?
Still-Minimum-7212@reddit
Relax pal I've been a PC gamer for over 2 decades. Playstation was just a word I used instead of Video Games. And yes I have a PS5 as well.
Ok_Repair684@reddit
sorry chief, I think we may have a case of misinterpreted humor. Still working on when and how to best use emojis.
I agree with your initial assesment, and commiserate. May your various options provide you endless gratification.
Still-Minimum-7212@reddit
Oh haha I meant no offence and none was taken by me. I was just having fun with the comment.
Ok_Repair684@reddit
<3
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
Someone did a sketch of ideal male living area and it was an empty square with a bathroom walled off in a corner, a tiny kitchen space, a bed against the wall and lazy boy in front of a big screen TV.
My wife tells me her mom once rented out her house (she was living with her bf at his place at the time) to a single guy and literally his furniture was a bed and a SIM racing setup and that was it...
Key-Shift5076@reddit
This is the sole reason I have a television over 80 inches..so that when those men suggest going back to their place and intimate I’ll find their screen size impressive, I can shut that shit down real fast.
Played FFXI online with my ex-husband.
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
"oh I always found that guys with big TVs are just compensating for "failings" in other areas wink "
Maleficent-Box4114@reddit
I’m female and I really only need a washing machine added to that. If I don’t have to go outside for anything that’s a bonus.
WarpTroll@reddit
Can I add a dryer or a 2-in-one?
Maleficent-Box4114@reddit
There’s a 2-in-1?! I could have been saving myself this whole time??
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
Washer dryers - sorta commonish in small places in the UK, however drying performance takes longer than a regular drier and i found the one I had left clothes creased due to smaller drum than a dryer would have.
Moist warm air went down the drain hose.
So when it developed a fault under warranty and the manufacturer gave me a return number to give to the retailer for an exchange, I asked the retailer if I could return it and pay the difference on separates - yeah no worries and those 2 did 8+ years.
However I heart my heat pump dryer, even has an ultra cool temp "swimsuits and bikinis" programme
WarpTroll@reddit
Apparently. Ive just leared about them myself last month. Dont know how well they work and I see they are very expensive but yes a washer/dryer combo!
Kumba42@reddit
My parents had a combo washer/dryer that, I think, used the principles behind a heat pump to dry clothing after a wash cycle. It was really slow, though, with a full cycle taking ~3hrs, and even then, some items still needed to be hung out to dry some more. It did not use a heating element, so you couldn't just turn the dryer mode back on for ~20mins. They eventually got rid of it and went back to a split washer/dryer combo.
xnef1025@reddit
Most of us are simple creatures.
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
It is possible to find a partner who is also into playing Playstation.
DrewBaron80@reddit
Some of us play Playstation WITH our significant other.
SoCalFelipe@reddit
No one should be saying that anyway. No one is too old to play video games.
Eastern-Ride-4673@reddit
Don’t give up, GTA six is just about to come out
Final_Comparison9727@reddit
Footage of Xennials playing GTA 6 on release day.
Gorkymalorki@reddit
Same, after two divorces and then my fiance passing away from COVID complications, I am done. Just the thought of trying to start a new relationship mentally exhausts me.
Newaway567@reddit
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't blame you for retiring from the streets
Gonna_do_this_again@reddit
Yup same. I'm not trying to have kids so fuck it.
zandertwoism@reddit
Godspeed, my friend. It is absolutely horrendous out here.
Red_Car_Singer@reddit
If all the sane ones lived where you are, they would all be taken by asshole men. Personally, I'm getting the frack outta this town, but I know that's not an option for everyone.
absentlyric@reddit
Believe it or not, I randomly asked out the cashier at my grocery store for a drink (I've been going there for years and would always joke with her and get her to laugh when checking out) and she said yes.
We're still together going on 4 years now.
Put yourself out there and take the risks, the worst that happens is they say no and you have to use the self checkout lane from now on.
GXP_2009@reddit
I'm 47. Been with my GF for 11 years. If I was ever single again, I would just stay single.
GrandPipe4@reddit
46F and I've given up also. Life is more peaceful without the incessant texting.
FeistyChampion82@reddit
Same here. I know this is a very unpopular opinion here on reddit, but the all-day-every-day texting is exhausting. I'm not a good multi tasker, so I end up doing nothing but just sitting around texting. If that's what modern dating requires, I'm out.
scifithighs@reddit
Totally agree! I may be wrong, but there seems to be an expectation attached to hanging out in person? Once, after a long and pleasant text conversation, I asked a guy to meet me for a daytime coffee, and he told me that was "moving too fast." Dude, it's not code, I literally want to have a cup of coffee in public and see if we click in person. I've spent so much time texting people for weeks at a time, only to finally meet up to discover they have weird vibes, they can't speak half as well as they write (that's ok, but you still have to make some kind of effort), they smell weird, they look nothing like their photos, or any number of incompatibilities.
GrandPipe4@reddit
Same - it saves a lot of time doing it this way, so I support you
SaltyBeanCounter@reddit
Agreed. With our first cell phones it cost money to send each text. I think that stayed us.
Comprehensive-Use375@reddit
Same here. I know this is a very unpopular opinion here on reddit, but the all-day-every-day texting is exhausting. I'm not a good multi tasker, so I end up doing nothing but just sitting around texting. If that's what modern dating requires, I'm out.
TheGillos@reddit
> incessant texting
This seems like a Seinfeld-level super-specific non-issue that Jerry or George would use as an excuse to break up with someone.
"She's a bit of a textaholic"
"She's addicted to the texting..."
"Exactly, it's like one text isn't enough, she has to have more."
"She gives you textahol poisoning."
"She's poisoned the relationship with texts!"
SlapHappyDude@reddit
Just find someone who is a "bad texter"!
Kidding. Kind of.
CarmenxXxWaldo@reddit
When i was dating my now wife she complained that I didn't text much. She thought I had "bitches" over. I explained I was drinking a bunch and didn't text when I drank lol. Turns out a little mystery goes a long way, even if its for a bad reason.
niseynisey@reddit
I made everyone painfully aware that i am single and made sure they knew I am only taking referrals. I requested pre approved best friends, brothers, cousins, uncles, & even grandpas. 😆
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
I like this idea. Any luck so far?
niseynisey@reddit
3rd one has been the charm so far! 🤞🏽
LKayRB@reddit
Hey grandpas can easily be in our range, my bff was a grandma at 36!
niseynisey@reddit
So true!!!
Slow_Ad3662@reddit
I read something that said if good dating partners are fresh drinking water, men are in a desert, and women are in a swamp.
S_A_R_K@reddit
I'm divorced, unemployed and taking care of my elderly parents. So don't feel so bad
boundlesschagrin@reddit
If you're taking care of your elderly parents, you're not unemployed. A lot of countries pay stipends or a certain category of aid benefits to caregivers b/c an elder citizen getting in-home 24/7 assistance from family is significant for budgets & outcomes.
The US doesn't do so, but nevertheless caregiving is valuable & it's very squarely WORK. It often really takes a toll on the carer's health & self-image, which is another part of why I'm not letting you get away with calling yourself unemployed.❤️
S_A_R_K@reddit
While I appreciate the thought, in regards to OP's concerns about dating, I can assure you that if 100 women were surveyed about things they are NOT looking for in a partner, no income, lives with parents and former addict would most definitely be top answers on the board.
Korben_Reynolds@reddit
If it helps, I have never married, am employed full-time, and am taking care of my live-in mother with dementia. It also sucks pretty hard.
jmac11281@reddit
I am a divorced 44 year old man. I have been single for over a year. I am somewhere in between terrified and apathetic about getting into dating.
TSquaredRecovers@reddit
Divorced 46 year-old woman, and I feel the same way.
proxminesincomplex@reddit
Good luck my friend. From a 42F with no luck.
Broken-Sarcasm-Meter@reddit
Maybe you should go on a date with OP
proxminesincomplex@reddit
Tbf I’m just looking to find someone who can tolerate me, ha!
But seriously, the apps are ass.
drewbaccaAWD@reddit
OKC was bad enough after Match took it over and destroyed everything of value it once had. But now it's so full of bots that I think I see more fake accounts than real ones! The people who do match me are usually two hours away... it's bleak.
There are a few local-ish real people with potential if I just wanted a roommate but, I'm weird and not a great match for vanilla basic rah rah go local sports teams and oh by the way I like fishing type ladies.
Kumba42@reddit
I remember this time around ~2003 when Match had this "free messaging weekend", where I think you could message someone and maybe trade several messages for ~48hrs before having to pay up. I recall joining the site and messaging a few people, but got no responses. I also recall going to delete my account a few days later after being disappointed at not receiving any replies, and right at the "are you sure?" screen to confirm my delete request, my inbox showed a message had arrived. But because it was outside of their free weekend, to even see who sent it and read it, I would've had to pay up.
I made the immediate assumption it was a trick of some kind, something designed to get me to not only stay, but also subscribe for even a short period just to see who sent me something. So I clicked "Yes" and deleted my account and swore I would never join another Match-owned website ever again.
I then watched over the years as they went and bought out virtually every other dating site and promptly destroyed what made any of those sites useful or even fun. E.g., OkCupid was enjoyable for just the myriad of quizzes you could do, and the whole site ran on this kind of slapstick, tongue-in-cheek humor. Match promptly annihilated that when they took the site over and turned it into another landing page to their horror show of services, like Unicron eating robot planet after robot planet.
I hope private equity eventually buys them out and burns them to the ground. It'd be appropriate karma for them.
ferretherapy@reddit
i’m so sad to hear this about OK Cupid. I used to love using it during and for all those little tests and quizzes. I ended up participating online dating basically by accident through taking the fun tests. But I met a lot of cool people through that website and was going to look into it again. Sad to hear that it’s all different now. :(
Kumba42@reddit
Yup! I once designed a quiz on OkC to see what kind of "evil overlord" a person was, based on the infamous The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord, by Peter Anspach. Based on quiz answers, I rigged the logic to match people up to one of twenty-seven different evil overlords, from Rita Repulsa to Sauron. Was a lot of fun designing it, and their quiz editor was really neat, for late-2000's-era HTML technology. But that's all gone now, like tears in rain, thanks to Match Group.
melodic-abalone-69@reddit
Found an overwhelming number of married men saying they're single on the apps.
Sounds kinda cringe, but I've found matches I made in hotel bars to better.
proxminesincomplex@reddit
My favorite is the number of men in ENM situations. And it’s like dude, no.
MunkyDawg@reddit
I'm assuming this doesn't mean Electronic Nonce Music, but I'm also assuming I don't want it in my search algorithm.
proxminesincomplex@reddit
“Ethical Non-Monogamy” which is I think some sort of polyamorous situation, but rather than forming a “polycule,” they’re honestly just hooking up with people outside of their primary partner. Supposedly all on the up and up.
I am waaaaaaay more interested in the concept of Electronic Nonce Music.
ferretherapy@reddit
Just saying that ENM is a legit thing. Whether or not that's what those dudes on the apps mean, I can't tell you. The liars ruin it for everyone else who is actually being ethical and communicative with partners.
bh4th@reddit
“Ethical non-monogamy.”
CalmTheAngryVoice@reddit
Better than unethical non-monogamy I guess
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
Though I do know of women who are the instigators of those type of situations, where like Collen on Futurama, no one man can be everything at once.
Except in this case without colleens polycule, instead it's more akin to owning a dependable paid off and solid F-150 but hiring a Ferrari/Porsche/transit/trabant/Silverado/Miata/motorcycle for the day/weekend, where you don't want to give up your F-150, you just want a small taste of what something else is like.
I do think people need to be better at communicating their interests with each other. Imagine a dating app "chick with supermodel looks who has always fantasised about hooking up with an ugly fat bald dude", "just divorced guy looking to meet up with adventurous, educated women", "desperate singleton willing to hook up with anyone of any gender"
pogulup@reddit
As someone in a dead bedroom situation, I am starting to understand why.
seche314@reddit
They love to conceal that until the first date too
Eli-fant@reddit
I also have had better luck in the wild than on apps!
Striking-Win-3239@reddit
Ha! My last date ended up me having to leave midway because the man disclosed he was married and asked how I felt about that…
PotentialPlum4945@reddit (OP)
Yes, they are fucking horrible. As for dating someone off Reddit? Seriously, dumber shit has happened.
Stop_Already@reddit
I met my husband playing World of Warcraft. :) Stranger things have happened. Ha.
Hips-Often-Lie@reddit
Same, friend. We were introduced by mutual IRL friends through the game. He sent me a random, blue world drop ❤️
Stop_Already@reddit
I met mine through my guild. He was the hunter that pulled MC and Ony. We were just acquaintances/raid friends til WotLK when he made a pally and I was a durid. We ran a Kara group together too and it blossomed from there.
He made me a mix CD a few months after we got serious. Very retro and very sweet. <3
Hips-Often-Lie@reddit
He was the MT and I was a Druid tree. We’re still together (with three kids) nearly twenty years later.
Polymox@reddit
EverQuest for us.
Upvoteexpert@reddit
Same for us! We also played WoW together before we started dating.
Steel1000@reddit
Now we are talking!
Where are my Ultima Online wedding peeps at?
Don’t act like you never went to one!!!
InMyHagPhase@reddit
Damnit played UO too. I never went to a wedding in UO, lots and lots in FFXIV. I do remember being chased relentlessly by some asshole on UO through vast amounts of cities and forests before he killed me.
Steel1000@reddit
Brit graveyard at server reset life.
Polymox@reddit
I played it way back when. A friend shared his account with me, I was too poor.
Euphoric_Evidence414@reddit
My roommate and I played EQ and that’s how he met his wife. We don’t talk anymore but last I heard they were still happily married
Stop_Already@reddit
I played that w/ my ex!
TiredNurse111@reddit
Met my ex husband on FFXI. :-)
Yagoua81@reddit
Ffxi was amazing! Great community and fun but seriously how did I ever have the 5+ hours nightly to play the game.
InMyHagPhase@reddit
I never thought I'd see this many people in the below comments on a r/Xennial post talk about FFXI lmao
Maybe we should all get together just for fun.
RDM/WHM lfg
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tryingisbetter@reddit
Met an ex on aim in high school, lol. Some random person messaged me asking if I was someone else. I said no, we talked for a while, she said that she was in the next town over in college. Ended up meeting her at her dorm.
Individual-Schemes@reddit
And theeeennnn???!
vajrasana@reddit
Fuck yeah! I miss FFXI…
meowrawr@reddit
Me too…
a_RadicalDreamer@reddit
My husband and I play on a private server, forever at level 75 cap. It’s fun!
ChiefSampson@reddit
Ramuh server NA Ps2 release <----- Elvaans > all
sevalle13@reddit
Met my best friend on XI...still friends to this day and take vacations together.
hotpotato2442@reddit
I met my husband on World Of Warcraft too
Stop_Already@reddit
Woot!
My guild actually had a few couples that had met online. Hah.
hotpotato2442@reddit
My guild had a wedding for us in Stormwind cathedral
radiobottom@reddit
I also met your husband on world of warcraft
Stop_Already@reddit
Probably. :)
Were you on Tichondrius from ‘04-‘10?
radiobottom@reddit
Close. I almost rolled horde on Tich with some guys i knew. Swerved last second and played alliance... somewhere?
Stop_Already@reddit
For the horde!
(You chose wrong! Kek!) 😉
WalmartGreder@reddit
Michelle?!?
If you are not Michelle, then I know someone else who met their husband on WoW.
Stop_Already@reddit
Nope. Not me!
HalfFrozenSpeedos@reddit
I have a relation who met his ex wife on world of warcraft, he caught her cheating on him with another woman and doing all sorts of shit on cam for her AFTER she gave up work and he was sole breadwinner.
Before he filed suit for divorce she coached her kid from a previous marriage to accuse him of SA, didn't matter that he was at work or elsewhere when the alleged offences took place,
I told his folks to get him a lawyer BEFORE the trial, they didn't listen, his public defender told him to admit guilt and take a plea deal to avoid 15+ years in jail. Cue getting sent down for 3-5 Vs zero had his folks sorted a decent lawyer before the trial.
His folks finally sort him a lawyer after he is sent to jail, who looks over the case, notes the public defender didn't bother doing anything and fucked the whole thing up and was BSing him at an industrial level (I noticed that BEFORE the trial and pointed out the public defender was failing to do even basic work like enquire at his former workplace about his schedule and attendance during the dates in question (place loaded with CCTV also), also whereabouts of said step daughter also at the times of the alleged offences, but neither he nor his folks would listen to me....), lawyer files appeal and tries to get the whole lot dismissed, judge says no, best that can be done is change of plea to no contest and a year in jail.
He loses his phone as the police destroyed it as they refused to mail it to anyone even at his expense. Ex wife ordered by court to recompense him for the value of his property she destroyed and sold, she never bothered paying it though and for whatever reason he didn't bother notifying the court of this, seeming it too much hassle ( I can see why but personally I wouldnt have let that drop and I would have sicced a private investigator on her to see what could be dug up to prove she was lying and had coached her daughter to make false accusations also)
Messy situation, he was husband #5, 2 or 3 of the previous 4 moved multiple states away (Inc one to the other end of the lower 48 states (!!!) - hmmm yet he didn't see this as a warning sign?????)
Ginger_Snaps_Back@reddit
Met my best friends on WoW. ❤️
KellyAnn3106@reddit
I hired someone off Reddit once. She was actually one of the better hires I ever made for my company. Connect where you can.
S_A_R_K@reddit
I thought you were talking about call girls
KellyAnn3106@reddit
Heavens no! It was for an accounting job at a big company.
Puzzleheaded_Race_90@reddit
MLDaffy@reddit
You call your penis the "big company"? I feel ya. High-five
pina_koala@reddit
Same. Hired a young guy who was looking to volunteer time for a non-profit like mine, initially for a few weeks and he ended up working with us for several years until he basically ran out of work to do.
proxminesincomplex@reddit
I mean, you would at least be talking to another nerd.
Secure_Bed_9110@reddit
Omgomg are we watching a love story unfold in real time??
trumpsmellslikcheese@reddit
Dude if they go on a date we need an update post. I have nothing else going on. I need this.
CalmTheAngryVoice@reddit
I have too much else going on. I could use something positive to take my mind off it.
Northie_78753@reddit
Tell me about it, brother!
odin_the_wiggler@reddit
Alexa, cue Pony by Genuwine
webweaver2@reddit
Enough already
DeuceOfDiamonds@reddit
~~We~~ They did it, Reddit!
S_A_R_K@reddit
Grouchy-Substance190@reddit
Northie_78753@reddit
My friends that married last year met off Reddit. He started a men's only book club, but the wording said all are invited. She had dated basically every elegible bachelor off the apps looking for her long term partner to no avail. She 1,000 percent was looking for her need and did.
Me 48 if. It's a dark world out here. I haven't even been dating since 4 years ago. Met a totally "normal" seeming man off an app who didn't grill me about my income and education and said drinking was something he did occasionally--turned out to be a massively verbally violent alcoholic. It scared the bejesus out of me.
The other two folks I "dated" the years after him, I met through friends. Those didn't turn out to be serious, either. By serious I mean serious about building a real emotional, psychological, intellectual, and physical partnership.
Good luck to us all!
savingeverybody@reddit
They're designed to keep you in the app, not to connect you to someone you might actually like. Sucking is a feature, not a bug.
Pattison320@reddit
You are their product, they're not giving that up.
herzmaedchen@reddit
NOW KITH!
Inevitable_Pride1925@reddit
Baggage at this age we all have it and for many of us finding someone who has baggage we can tolerate but doesn’t mind the baggage we bring to the table is a tall order.
I’m hoping it gets a little easier in my 50’s once most people’s kids are adults, mine included.
MLDaffy@reddit
I voe for this
SweetDLovesHerJob@reddit
41F and same 😄
tattoojew@reddit
I was just thinking this too lol
80s_angel@reddit
43F and same.
Sufficient_Focus4174@reddit
Sorry, he’s already taken
80s_angel@reddit
😂
Country_Gravy420@reddit
Unrated comment. Seriously hilarious.
Sorry_Im_Trying@reddit
Ditto from 46f It's just easier to not do that
Nemercy@reddit
Is your flair from Perfect Dark?
thepisceanqueen@reddit
It’s a rough go out here in the dating world. Can confirm. Wishing you lots of luck. 🍀
flipnitch@reddit
There’s hope yet…I was on hinge for a few months last summer, ended up meeting someone that feels like the love of my life…like I’m not even sure I was using the word love correctly earlier in life the feeling is so intense with her.
ferretherapy@reddit
41F, same. Never been married, starting to try the apps and oh lordy, it's slim pickings at this age.
WritingNerdy@reddit
I’m sorry. I’m awesome but I don’t want to mess with dating anymore and I imagine a lot of awesome women our age also agree with me. I have my best friend, he’s like the boy version of me so it’s great, we like all the same stuff lol
bmxdudebmx@reddit
WritingNerdy@reddit
That’s extra funny because we met on a dating site but we didn’t work out as a couple. So unfortunately now he’s stuck with me for the rest of our natural lives lol
bmxdudebmx@reddit
Just for the chuckle.
And_go@reddit
I need one of these! I do not want to date because it’s an effing headache but I would love a boy version of me just to bullshit with and hang out with. No weird pressure to date or have sex, just chill. You are living the dream! Lol
Necessary-Duty-7952@reddit
It's rough out there. Plenty of wonderful people that you may not have any connection with. And plenty of seemingly lovely people that are hiding some deep, deep issues and aren't getting the help they need. In my late 40s and my divorced friends are all similarly struggling.
That being said, there is hope. I ended up finding a wonderful, wonderful partner. Not on the apps, though. The old fashioned way - in person! She's sweet, she's got her shit together, and even her trainer tells her she's jealous of her because of how incredible shape she's in. Don't give up hope, just buckle up for the bumpy ride.
MardelMare@reddit
“There’s other fish in the sea!”
The sea:
Stardustquarks@reddit
And the fish in it…
1ndomitablespirit@reddit
I'm not wearing my glasses. That's the chick from the bar in Total Recall, right?
djsynrgy@reddit
I just watched that again last night!
Indigo2015@reddit
BalrogRuthenburg11@reddit
Quaid, start the reactor…
Perfect-Resist5478@reddit
That was the first rated R movie I’ve ever seen. That lady and the big fans are the only things I remember. I was 8
Impetuous_Llama@reddit
Random fun fact, my dad took me to see that when it came out. We get home and my mom asks about the movie. My reply “There was a girl with three boobs!”
Guess I was always a breast man.
Obvious-Ad-3500@reddit
Wish I had three lens
macklin_sob@reddit
KDneverleft@reddit
39F and I have given up. It's liberating to admit I don't care how anyone's day is going. I go out a lot and it is nice to not have to explain that to anyone. I do what I want when I want.
Magica78@reddit
This thread is now my dating app.
And_go@reddit
A/S/L? lol
thejunkmanadv@reddit
lol
No_Custard_6481@reddit
Do not go on apps. Women don’t really like them bc some of you men suck. No offense op.
Get outside. Join a hiking group, a runners club, go to a gardening place. There are so many single women that kinda give up bc they don’t do the apps. They want a relationship but think all men want the girls on the apps.
goat_penis_souffle@reddit
The flip side to that is that there are people who join those groups for the hiking/running/gardening/etc with zero interest in dating and don’t take kindly to those using the club as a meet market.
As much as the apps are absolute shit shows, you can at least be sure that the users want dates/hookups/relationships, otherwise they wouldn’t be on them.
No_Custard_6481@reddit
That is not exactly true. Like if you dress up like Rico Swavee trying to impress the women or men when they are doing something they pay for, you are right.
If you go and are consistent, are approachable, smell good, the single ladies will flock to you on their own.
scifithighs@reddit
Off topic, but thank you for reminding me of Rico Suave and how that name became a saying unto itself!
thejunkmanadv@reddit
:D
No_Custard_6481@reddit
Your welcome. 😂
Kumba42@reddit
And then there's those of us agoraphobes who don't like outdoor activities, especially in warm weather. Mainly because of being an introvert and also having read way too much about ticks, horseflies, deer flies, and most species of social wasps. My favorite time to go outside is during Winter, when everything is dead...and that's precisely when everyone else wants to be indoors. Though, I've been thinking of wondering out to the mountains at some point and visiting some of the underground cavern exhibits, where it stays cool while the above ground burns.
In any event, those stuck in the single life forever, come and join us over on r/LivingAlone. Cool crowd there that'll help take the edge off of being alone all the time.
AstuteStoat@reddit
Right, choose something you're really interested in, focus on the hobby, then take an interest in making friends. Keep a small nugget of hope for finding a partner but don't force it.
VisiblePlatform6704@reddit
This. Ive got younger (mid 20s/30s) woman friends who are single and "normal". Most of them dont use dating apps.
robertgarthtx@reddit
Honest question: what are you interested in (sports, art, activities, etc)?
Might be controversial but I suggest avoid the apps (unless), watch the documentary "Join or Die", and then invest in in-person (not online) social groups for thing that interest you. It will usually produce a couple buddies and give you an honest idea of what sort of people you are currently attracting (you can either embrace that info or work to change it).
OpiumPhrogg@reddit
Ya know, there is that cliche that the moment you decide to stop trying to find love, or a partner or whatever you call it these days, that it ends up unexpectedly happening out of nowhere.
So maybe just don't fret about dating apps and all that right now - go off and do you, whatever that is for a while, and who knows - you might meet your soulmate in that dingy underground karoke bar..
SweetCosmicPope@reddit
Glad to be married to somebody I adore. If my wife left me tomorrow, I'd spend the rest of my days alone before I'd get involved in all of that nonsense.
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
Same. I am grateful that for all of the bad stuff that has happened to me in life, I found a partner years ago who I'm really well suited to, and vice versa. Having gotten through some real challenges the past few years (deaths etc.), having matured together in positive ways, and being past the age where either may have wondered what else was out there, our marriage is super solid right now. It feels like an oasis from the world. And we put a lot of effort into preserving that oasis.
Sufficient_Turn_9209@reddit
Top comment right here. Husband and I have had this conversation many times. If something happens between us lonely is better than jumping into that pool. People are just exhausting right now.
clergymen19@reddit
I'd just get another dog. Maybe two.
Blue_Eyed_Devi@reddit
I was just thinking the same thing. I’ve been with my husband since 2001 and I love him more each day, and I’m so happy not to have to deal with modern dating
RaluT00@reddit
Same! We've been together since we were 17. I could not be bothered to have a new relationship if something were to happen to us...
TragicHedgehog@reddit
My wife and I have been together since I was 15 and she was 16. 32 years this fall. I’d NEVER try to date if suddenly wasn’t with me. I wouldn’t have a CLUE how to…
adjust_your_set@reddit
Same.
Next-Honeydew4130@reddit
Good luck! I was newly single at 44 too and….. absolutely not. I’m just staying single. Sorry but I’m not cute enough anymore and neither is anyone else lol
Bird_Herder@reddit
Single for 45 years. The positives of a relationship just never seemed like they would outweigh the negatives.
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
I'm sorry you've had that perception. That has not been my experience.
fromthedarqwaves@reddit
And so you herd birds.
Bird_Herder@reddit
I'd say birds won't break your heart, but they do sometimes.
heymustbethebunny@reddit
I'd hug you but I heard you smell like a herd of birds.
Korben_Reynolds@reddit
I have heard that a herd of birds smells absurd.
proxminesincomplex@reddit
Did you hear bird is the word?
AshDogBucket@reddit
If you haven't yet, try being in a band. That's how I got my husband!
ShakeItUpNowSugaree@reddit
Sadly, I have no musical ability. At this point though, I've dated a drummer, a guitarist, and currently seeing a bassist. Not sure if I'm starting a band or collecting musicians like Pokemon.
ShakeItUpNowSugaree@reddit
Widowed at 40. Have an almost-teenager now, so I do have the ability to go out every once in awhile, but there's so few people I meet that I actually want to spend time with. Had a couple of dates with someone recently and feeling hopeful about it, but at this point I think that I just want someone to hang out with like three times a week for the rest of my life.
Model_Modelo@reddit
Single 47f here. Gave up on the apps years ago. It will just make you depressed. Try going old-school and meeting people in person.
Clionora@reddit
43F. It’s such a crap shoot. And I can’t even flatter myself as being a good catch. I’m neurotic with fluctuations in stability of nearly every kind. And don’t want kids which limits the dating pool.
I admit I’ve had some fun with some guys I met that turned into relationships, but there’s still the fallout after it ends. I am mostly concerned with getting myself financially solvent while trying to accept the things I can’t control. I sort of see life as a series of rejections and any sort of requited like or love is a mini miracle. I appreciate them (obviously, and so much) but I don’t expect them to happen much more. Being a naturally romantic person is at odds with reality.
Northie_78753@reddit
We are most definitely related
Clionora@reddit
At least I’m not totally alone over here!
aweedl@reddit
I’m the same age, recently divorced after more than a decade and a half. I’m not letting it bother me. If I end up with someone, lovely. If I don’t, more free time to hang out with my kids/dog/friends. Win-win.
I’m definitely not going to use a dating app, though. I was married for so long that I have zero experience using any of them, so I figure if I can’t meet someone in person, I’m fine being single. The apps feel very… daunting. And I’m pretty sure I’d be an easy target for scammers due to my inexperience with them.
RainbowBriteGlasses@reddit
A dude complaining about dating.
Good Lord. Tell me you are privileged without telling me you are privileged. It's tough out here, but I mean for women dealing with guys.
I wish you luck I guess.
ammodramussavannarum@reddit
I’m newly single after 21 yrs married, age 48 and I’m bald and grey. I wish you all the luck I never expect to have.
albauer2@reddit
I will not use the apps. Hard pass.
Nikkianne617@reddit
Not fair! I’m 44 and single and I take my meds.
No-Count3834@reddit
As someone that’s 43m, it can be pretty bad out there. Everyone uses dating apps and that’s a barrier in itself with pay walls. Going out you can meet people still, but will depend on your area. I have a good job, still look 30s and meet maybe a few people a year. Still haven’t really found much. I had a long relationship from 2012-2020, Covid hit and then got back into dating. By then it changed so much it was a bit shocking.
A lot of people are just looking to kill time, fish for compliments and just not really follow through much I find with the apps. For me finding a local scene like music, hobbies or even the grocery store I’ve had better results.
Dating in the city has more people, but a lot of flakey people. Dating in a small town it seemed like everyone was looking for a relationship since not much to do, but the pool of potentials is smaller with every year you age. These days I find it’s just really up to chance and getting back into a social scene…it’s a lot harder in your 40s if you can’t stay out past 9/10pm most nights. I like to do day stuff in a big night entertainment city. So it’s rough man
Northie_78753@reddit
48F. Resonates
Coco_Cokie_Cookie@reddit
Haven’t dated in years. It’s been peaceful.
witblacktype@reddit
I’m 42 here. I spent 2025 dating again after healing from my last disaster of a relationship — I really can pick em. I deleted my OLD profile before the end of 2025. Maybe I meet a nice woman with whom I have some things in common with one day, but I’m confident it won’t happen through OLD.
Northie_78753@reddit
48F. Agree
KinkMountainMoney@reddit
I’m about your same age. I can offer you the benefit of my recent experience with the dating pool. My most recent ex was 24 when the relationship started. I thought she was 30 when I hit on her and we met at work. Didn’t find out the age difference until a couple of weeks after we got together. Relationship was a roller coaster of drama. Because of the difference in age/maturity.
Fast forward about a year and a 59 year old coworker expresses interest. We’ve been together since August and it’s soooo much better than the previous relationship. So much more chill and accepting. She understands family commitments and doesn’t impinge on them. She knows what she wants and doesn’t cause drama for drama’s sake.
I strongly advise you to look to our age or older women. Young girls in my experience sucked all the air out of the room and demanded to be prioritized above my family.
Good luck, brother.
Northie_78753@reddit
From your lips to God's ears. 48F.
Ishvale@reddit
44? Healthy BMI? How you doing economically? I'm not asking for shallow reasons, but being set does give confidence. Or do you have good confidence regardless? My guy, you're set to get bites out of the dating pool like you wouldn't believe. Shit, I'm thinking of flirting you up, and I'm a dude. What's up?
PotentialPlum4945@reddit (OP)
My retirement plan is suicide. Fuck the boomers.
Ishvale@reddit
Women love a sense of fiduciary responsibility!
Northie_78753@reddit
Literally a sense of responsibility period. Accountability for fuck ups, owning one's shit. Being actually, really reliable and present - like a true friend.
click-monster@reddit
Personally I love a booty thicker than the bible, so first of all I recommend eating your feelings (hey this is Reddit I'm allowed to give unhealthy advice)
SeaSkimmer2@reddit
Don’t. Enjoy life, the peace, no stress, and excess salary.
Northie_78753@reddit
My life is really hard right now, but the thought of being involved right now makes me feel grateful I'm not.
To have some loving support and an extra set of hands and brain would be a gift, but the reality for me has been that that's hard to find. Most folks are more trouble than they are worth.
Primary-Strawberry-5@reddit
I’m on marriage number 3. If this one fails: it’s me. (Hint, it almost fell apart a few years ago. It was me)
WasabiAficianado@reddit
Years ago or 2.5 years ago? What does that mean?
MuttDawg509@reddit
Dating in your 40’s is like picking the nicest shirt at goodwill.
I’m suffering through it too my friend. About to throw in the towel.
notsosecretshipper@reddit
Good luck! I've seen my friends struggle, I know it's rough out there.
I decided a long time ago that if something happens to my husband, I'm never dating again.
melodic-abalone-69@reddit
It can be rough out here in r/datingoverforty
DownrightDrewski@reddit
I'm focusing on getting in better shape before trying to date again, but, I'm scared of the idea of even trying if I'm honest.
_jjkase@reddit
I thought that was where I was until I saw a couple comments about being happily married.
be_loved_freak@reddit
Sorry, I prefer an uneducated man with a high bmi.
Key-Shift5076@reddit
Clocked the tone too and meh’d ouuut.
fauxshoyall@reddit
For real. Shout out to kindness.
OutkastAtliens@reddit
The most important thing you can do is not listen to all the hatters and naysayers. Focus on positivity about the future and things will land as they land. Yes may people have bad experiences. Daring is harder as you get older you are less willing to motion the effort and energy. Remember when you were young and you would put all your time and energy into getting a date? Well you don’t have to do that; but you have to get your weeks turning and believe in it. It’s hard to compromise as we get older, but we can do it.
ContributionNo6042@reddit
44 M, master's degree, 6 figure job... yet, Joe Exotic (Tiger King) has two husbands while in federal prison. I'm 4 years single in October.
ShrewSkellyton@reddit
The apps might actually work in your case
ContributionNo6042@reddit
They haven't thus far.
turntabletennis@reddit
I am dating myself now.
TopOutside8828@reddit
DatingBloomly is perfect when you want casual dating without overcomplicating it. Matched this girl who was direct, met up fast and the hookup was laid-back and satisfying.
Automatic_Beat5808@reddit
If I end up single again, I'm not going to bother.
rockstar1083@reddit
It's a lonely existence. I try to stay hopeful.
90s_kids_only@reddit
Try Hinge, worked for me.
Remote_Reaction_4085@reddit
Words of advice:
Don't limit yourself from an age perspective. Similar boat here and can tell you that 20 somethings are very fair game and give plus odds.
Quantity over quality irl brings results.
Online, limit yourself to just a few new outreach a week and put a little effort into it.
Work on yourself.
The dating scene has changed and ymmv, but I have never done better and that's despite being destroyed in a f-a divorcer@epe.
Good luck 👍🏻
nanneryeeter@reddit
Ditch the apps, get out there.
dhof1980@reddit
I feel you man, 45M here. Almost 7 years and it ended. It’s rough
HighGlutenTolerance@reddit
Every time I think about divorcing my spouse, I remember that means being single and ready to mingle again and that usually fixes my attitude. None of my unmarried friends are dating anymore at all.
MysteryMolecule@reddit
I’m 44, divorced and actually loving the dating scene. Sure, you have to wade through people as always, but there are plenty of single people in their 40s, some who are looking for their next big love and some who just want something simple and easy because they’ve just come out of huge failed marriages/divorces. I’m meeting lots of interesting people, I think it depends what you put into it.
GreekGoddessOfNight@reddit
The dating pool for sure has piss in it.
donapepa@reddit
46F, widowed with children. It will be two years soon. I don’t want a relationship per se. I hate the apps. I am enjoying my independence and alone time after a 20-yr marriage of lots of compromising. Open to dating, but who? How? It seems daunting. I miss sex a couple of times a month. But not enough to go waste my time trying to find a decent enough man 🤷🏻♀️
marcos_MN@reddit
As someone who was in a similar situation, I 100% recommend taking some solo time. Best thing I ever did. Took romance out of the equation entirely for a while, grew a lot, and now am a better version of myself.
Still_Detail_4285@reddit
Go young brother.
unbalancedcentrifuge@reddit
I hear you...I am too ugly to attract someone good and too smart to want to attract someone bad.
timshel_turtle@reddit
🙌
orangepaperlantern@reddit
42f and single since two years ago after a 10+ year long relationship. I’m kind of scared to try again, for many reasons, but also because most of the attributes that I’m ideally looking makes for a very specific kind of guy that I don’t know if I’ll be able to find.
thatpunkyrat@reddit
Would you be open to dating younger? My husband found me when I was 25 and he was 45. We've been married almost 2 years.
senorbuzz@reddit
But your tag says you’re a millennial
thatpunkyrat@reddit
I'm actually Gen Z but I didn't see an option for Zillennial 🤷🏻♀️
Hot-Ad930@reddit
cries in unhealthy BMI
jadedbeats@reddit
Get off the apps. I've never been on them, but anyone I talk to that 1) has or 2) currently is hates them and complains about them for various reasons. Just get out there in the real world and maybe one day it'll happen and maybe it won't. Gotta be okay with that possibility...
Fantastic_Net_4308@reddit
I met my husband playing video games. K$lled him a few times (in the game). Told him his shirt was made of 'boyfriend material'. He told me he needed a check up (I was in med school at the time). Dx him with hyper-reflexia (he got PT and is now more stable). We now have two kids. And I still take him out (in video games).
Nerds rule
Unfadable1@reddit
It’s not that hard, tbh.
Ask for the date right away, chat on the date not in the apps.
Treat it like an adventure and you’ll be fine.
If you’re looking for a pot of gold, you’re doing it wrong, imo.
You’ll have 2-5 dates a week if you want em. (As long as you’re not living in the middle of nowhere, of course.)
flowbkwrds@reddit
You never know, just gotta get there and talk to people. I know some couples over 40, one met on a yoga retreat in Costa Rica, one went on a camping trip together after commenting on their Instagram post. I DM'd mine on Facebook after seeing him in a video posted by a food truck I follow. If you find a decent one, hang on to them.
Historical-Piglet-86@reddit
Honestly, I’ve given up at this point.
The saying goes…..
Men die of thirst in the dessert. Women die of thirst in the ocean.
JamesMattDillon@reddit
Do it the old way, go out and meet someone.
PhoneJazz@reddit
44F, newly single too, are all of us single Xennials doomed to be alone for the rest of our lives? Kill me now.
al_rey503@reddit
Dating is hard regardless, it’s not so much the dating part, it’s the meeting women part. Got out of a 20 year relationship a couple years ago, I’m 46 now. It was tough at first, the game has changed and it took me a little while to get used to. My biggest surprise was the amount of younger women who would approach and flirt with me. When dating my peers I don’t go to dating sites, I approach in the wild at normal places. Just strike up conversations if I notice maybe we’re giving eyes to each other and go from there. I just don’t take it serious until it’s serious.
JessBx05@reddit
Good luck. 44f here and no luck. The apps seem to be filled with people who can't string a sentence together. Or who are, in their words, "still figuring it out". Or who just want a sexy picture. Ugh.
NW_Forester@reddit
Go to continuing education classes at your local community college. Take an art or language class.
GlitteringCobbler987@reddit
If we all agree that the apps suck and we're all on the apps that means we are making the apps suck 😭
ArchSchnitz@reddit
I was talking about this with a friend the other day. She's facing down her husband's alcoholism and being unwilling to stand aside while he drinks himself to death.
She was lamenting that if she becomes single all the guys our age are kinda crap. I told her that all the single guys I know deserve it.
mousee3176@reddit
It is certainly brutal out there. Try and meet people out doing group stuff. Join a team. Do art. Loiter in bookstores.
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
"You deserve to be loved, and to feel loved, just for being you." --Mr Rogers mashup with my meditation teacher
That does NOT mean anyone is obliged to endanger themselves or otherwise subject themselves to less than equitable treatment in order to give love to or receive love from others.
And never forget, if you don't want to be alone, there's always somebody else.
TestDZnutz@reddit
Ask what they're listening too if you're music nut. After all the "what's your favorite color" conversations, that's what cut thru bs for me anyway.
ellecamille@reddit
I’m at peace with being single. If I meet someone then cool. But I’m not making an effort to do so.
aravarth@reddit
So, I'm happily married (going on 18 years together), and I have zero intentions of ever dating again.
HOWEVER, if my wife died or upped and left me, and I wanted to be in a relationship again after I put back the pieces of my shattered and broken life, I absolutely would consult a matchmaker.
illilli111@reddit
The fact that the only things you wrote about yourself were that you’re “educated” and “have a healthy BMI” is a choice
Sufficient_Turn_9209@reddit
He's ruining the curve for the other guys or there for sure. 🤡
illilli111@reddit
So after I made that comment, I peaked at his post and comment history. There is a greater than zero chance that I actually dated this guy. Obviously I don’t know for sure, but if it’s the same guy, let me tell you, he’s definitely ruining the curve for anybody.
Sufficient_Turn_9209@reddit
Oh that's wild!
Dusty-Staccato@reddit
Well, if their username is anything to go off, they may potentially be a plum as well
proxminesincomplex@reddit
Look, based off of the men I was shown on the apps, this is quality.
Naive-Cow-631@reddit
It's tough. 46F here. I married young and after 19 years of marriage, I am enjoying my quiet. I dabbled in the apps a year or so after my divorce and it was interesting. My happily married non introvert siblings all say join clubs and meet people. It's the loneliness that sometimes gets me, but otherwise it's refreshing being single.
PrestigiousMaize2368@reddit
I will say that there is no two different types of people in this world than a heterosexual man and a heterosexual women, yet we continually try to force ourselves onto each other in a domestic partnership. Relationships can be beautiful and rewarding and also not
Fickle_Wrangler_7439@reddit
Honestly as a bisexual married to another bisexual... true. It's a hetero marriage but the vibe is very different.
Straight people often confuse me. The men and women really don't seem like they like each other very much.
nellieshovett@reddit
48F. TBH I've actually been debating if a lavender marriage would be the best option at this point
ShrewSkellyton@reddit
Same, but I'm convinced the combined diva energy would be lethal
FallingBackTogether@reddit
45F, I gave up on the apps. I found there were more bots and scammers than legitimate men looking to date.
nartimus@reddit
In person 100x better than apps. Look if there at any speed dating events in your city. Been to a couple this year and both were good experiences. If anything, I met some new friends.
LineImpossible3958@reddit
Good luck to you
ClockworkJim@reddit
Why don't you show us your tinder profile? Note about how you focus on your education and your BMI does not bode well.
Lululemonparty_@reddit
Try being divorced and a single dad. That's doing it on hard mode. Not to mention the choices are less than ideal out there.
cashews_clay15@reddit
Been single for 7 years, much more peaceful this way.
SignificantApricot69@reddit
OK, hear me out: the way to do it is still to meet people irl, but you are competing with the apps and some of the irl market has been removed by those who now see dating as strictly an “app matchmaking” thing. So, everyone loses because a lot of people who could be doing well irl and actually meeting people and making organic connections are shutting that part of life completely out.
So the ideal situation is meeting other people who also think the apps suck and are open to real life connections.
AbbreviationsNo3918@reddit
I was single until age 34. Went on very few dates, nothing amounted to anything. (I’m gay and came out late, so there were layers to the situation which may not be relatable.) I had a therapy session and talked about how I had a Tinder date afterwards and how much I was dreading it. Forced myself to go. We clicked like I had never experienced before, hung out again a few days later, then took a rode trip (only like 2 hours) that next weekend. Have now been together for 7 years and married for 4 this September. It does happen. But goddammit did I hate the process.
cyberdude419@reddit
Get a dog for an instant companion, go to the dog park and meet like minded people. Or try dating apps, it’s rough out here! I’m exactly where you are and it’s so lame but I’m determined to not be alone, good luck dude
worksnake@reddit
A healthy BMI, he says. Oh very nice. And us down here in depression body BMI land? How do you think we feel?
Ohboycats@reddit
God speed from a 79’er in a sitautionship
detectiveriggsboson@reddit
If something happens to my wife, I'm remaining single forever.
MotherDepartment1111@reddit
47F single forever if this is the dating pool
Bytowneboy2@reddit
THEY’RE NOT A FATTY.
Bytowneboy2@reddit
I entertain myself and I love that for me.
Jupitersd2017@reddit
Date a little younger, I know so many single amazing women in their early-mid 30’s, although at that age many of them want kids etc.. I think some of the dating sites work for people or you just have to find some hobbies that you like doing and hope there are some single ladies in there. I wish you luck 🍀
fromthedarqwaves@reddit
Hammerhandle@reddit
Fuck that, I'm a little over a year out from my divorce after 14 years in an unhappy marriage and I'm NEVER going back. I'll die single and happy!
Roy_G_Biv_87@reddit
45F here…3 years post divorce and I am scared af of what’s out there. But I will say I have delusional and unfettered hope that the love of my life is out there and nothing and no one can convince me otherwise!
nmixxenjoyer@reddit
Haven't used a dating app in 7 years. The worst of the worst are on them shits everyday, both men and women. I can only imagine its worse now because of the companies trying to take all your time in endlessly swiping. I'd rather join a book club and read smut if it means I get to meet women that I share a hobby in reading with.
PhysicsStock2247@reddit
Meetup groups. You don’t even need to go in with the intention of finding a romantic partner. It’s just a good way to extend the social sphere and everything that entails. I’ve had a several relationships initiate from social acquaintances asking if I’d like to go on a date with a friend of theirs. Kinda like how things used to be before the current algorithm hellscape.
i-was-doing-stuff@reddit
46f, attorney, normal BMI, I work out and run 20-25 miles a week. I don’t have time for dating, I’m too busy working out, working and commuting an hour each way to and from the office.
Brent_L@reddit
My wife says I annoy the shit out of her. I keep telling her if I’m not annoying you then we have a problem. If this were to end I would def not remarry and spend some time alone. I think it would be pretty difficult to navigate dating these days. I can’t even sell something on FB marketplace imagine trying to date someone?
HockeyandTrauma@reddit
Im 44, divorced last year, did the app thing for about 6 months, and have given up since february. I made some cool friends, but im just focusing inwards. Gonna lose weight, enjoy my life, and climb out of the debt hole the divorce gave me. If something comes along, well see. But I just have no desire currently.
sarcasmo818@reddit
Designer-Bid-3155@reddit
Love my tribe. 🤘 no lack of partners in my circle.
kristosnikos@reddit
I was married at 22 and divorced at 30. I was on the apps and wasn’t trying to find anything serious. I just had fun with it.
Then after 2 years, I got bored with it and swore off casual hookups. Within weeks I started a job where I would meet my now husband. We’ve been together 10 years now.
OP, my advice is to try and meet someone the old fashioned way. Join groups, take an adult class, go to a bar, or maybe you’ll get lucky at work.
But for now, just enjoy being single and try and have fun with it.
CMarlowe@reddit
Honestly, I just think I would stay single for however much time I have left on this planet if my wife and I ever split up.
Going out and talking to girl and flirting a little... all that used to be fun. I can't even imagine doing that. And the apps? Just no. And I'd have to be realistic. At our age, yeah, many, if not most, single people are going to have kids and that's another thing I don't want to deal with.
Good luck, man. It's tough.
knosmo78@reddit
My husband left recently and honestly... I mean, I'm lonely, and I've been kind of lonely for a while, but I don't know if I can manage this again. And like, when the heck am I supposed to date? I have a teenager and am therefore now a part-time, unpaid chauffeur.
AJ14847414@reddit
I went on two dates which was just enough for me to say the hell with it, I’d rather be single.