My dad makes almost 70k a year, but we live paycheck to paycheck. Is that normal?

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Namaste_Life@reddit

Are you American? ("Paycheck," "mom")

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Namaste_Life@reddit

I would imagine after allegedly being homeless, having a roof over your head would be something to be grateful for, but what do I know?

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resident_queerdo@reddit

I would imagine being a parent, you're responsible for contributing to your child's welfare, but what do I know?

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Namaste_Life@reddit

If it's a true story, which it may be.

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resident_queerdo@reddit

If you go on Reddit to question that, you might as well not get out of bed in the morning.

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imokaytho@reddit

OP was 18 20-days ago and 17 6-days ago according to his post history.. he's either aging backwards or a bot

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Rubberfootman@reddit

“Expensive health conditions” too.

(Yes, I know there are exceptions, but it is very rarely in a Brit’s top 5 financial concerns)

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NotoriousP_U_G@reddit

Not usually, but it depends upon expenses which we don’t have here

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TheOrchidsAreAlright@reddit

I live on much less than that in East London and have savings, travel abroad regularly, eat out often.

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neukStari@reddit

And thats not enough for you. Go take care of a friend for two months see how far your salary goes.

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TheOrchidsAreAlright@reddit

I am not saying it's not enough for me. I literally offered a point of reference because someone mentioned that they live in East London.

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NotoriousP_U_G@reddit

You may live in a shed. They may have 3 kids and live in a 4 bedroom house.

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TheOrchidsAreAlright@reddit

It literally says there are two of them.

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NotoriousP_U_G@reddit

It doesn’t, it says there is his dad and him, but doesn’t exclude there being children from other relationships he is supporting

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DangersVengeance@reddit

All of them. We have literally nothing to go on here except a claimed gross income.

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TowJamnEarl@reddit

There was a guy on ask brits earlier asking about whether the top financial burden is mortgage/rent the UK.

The top comment at time was someone with 2200 quid a month mortgage...that seems wild to me but it's possible that OP's Dad has made such a wild decision.

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NotoriousP_U_G@reddit

Rent/mortgage, childcare, child maintenance, commute, gas, electric, water, and about 199 other expenses.

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Upstairs-Balance9846@reddit

tell your dad he needs to support you. nobody makes it without support from parents until they are about 30, except in exceptional cases.

Everybody needs support. Your parents probably lacked support and thats a burden they have to carry but no need to pass it on.

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MashtapEhad@reddit

Nope, you do not ask your parents to support you till you are 30. That is NOT normal.

If you are going through some sort of meaningful uni degree then maybe...

Any other case, you are on your own... get a job, move out to a shared house, take responsibility.

Uk is full of grown up kids in their 30s its pathetic

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Upstairs-Balance9846@reddit

Meanwhile the truth about the effect of parental support and buying your first home

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10888-023-09563-z

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Legitimate-Leg-4720@reddit

Uh, 30? Is that really normal? I didn't get any financial support from parents after I moved out for uni at 18 (albeit I never asked for it)

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Theres no right or wrong answer, life is different for everyone but personally I watched my nana still slip my dad money everytime we'd visit even though he didnt need it, he had a great job, right up until she died at 93. He would talk endlessly of how much she taught him and helped him through life and as I say, he did quite well for himself. Now, as an adult raising children without my parents around i can tell you, I definitely plan to support my children, even well beyond theyre 30s because I dont want them to just survive like i am, I want them to thrive. I brought them into this world so I owe it to them to give them as much of it as I can.

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Kind-Enthusiasm-7799@reddit

You will be told that is normal I suspect. It isn’t, and I don’t agree a parent should be financially responsible for any child over the age of 18.

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DeliciousAd3894@reddit

Your dad does pay a lot in child support if he is on 70k. It is calculated off gross earnings. Also he might have expenses or be saving for something like retirement. We can't know without you knowing all his bills

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Crafty_Parfait_6508@reddit

Child maintenance is the most under collected benefit in the UK

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DeliciousAd3894@reddit

That might be false as if there is an agreement between parties, they do not have to tell CMS.

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

Your dad does pay a lot in child support if he is on 70k. It is calculated off gross earnings

Only if court mandated. In almost half of separated families, there is not child maintenance agreement in place. Many of those with agreements are personal agreements, which might be significantly lower than what the court would require.

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DeliciousAd3894@reddit

Op specifically said his dad pays child support. This means that the child maintenance is involved. It doesn't have to be court mandated. CMS have powers now to declare a payment and if not adhered to, can collect directly from your paycheck.

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TheKnightsRider@reddit

Is it gross or net? Doesn't seem fair to do it off gross and pay it from net.

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

It's gross to prevent deadbeat parents from trying to salary sacrifice their way out of it.

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ProfessorYaffle1@reddit

It's calculated on gross less pension contributions, but the % was set based on what the net would be, when they revisdd the formula a few years ago and closed various loopholes. IIRC it makes it harder for people to try get out of paying, and means that the recieving parent isn't disadvantaged if the payer coses to have an expensive company car, or to run personal expenses through their business, or stuff like that.

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Horror-Sink-227@reddit (OP)

Thank you this makes sense I feel bad for seeming like I'm judging my dad which I'm not but I feel like we as a family should be living better

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ProfessorYaffle1@reddit

There are too many unknowns, but probably not. However, if he bought a house when he and your mother split, he may have an expensive mortgage - if they were married, then if he was the higher earner, she may have ended up with a bigger share of the available assets, which could mean a smaller mortgage. If your mum is on a low income, and rents, she may get help with the rent.

It's possible that he has or had a lot of debt - some people are really bad with money.

It's more expensive to be single than half of a couple, so if he separated but didn't change his spending habits he could very easily end up in difficulties.

That said, it's also possible ghat he's putting a bigger than average proportion of his jncome into a pension or other savjngs, because he's making up for lost time, or wants to retire early,

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AlarmedAlarm626@reddit

“I live in London”

There’s your answer. Living in London is incredibly expensive. I live in Manchester and it costs us 18k to pay the bills for the household for the full year. If we had 70k coming in me and my family would be living like Roman Emperors.

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RecentTwo544@reddit

me and my family would be living like Roman Emperors.

I was going to make a risque joke there but I remembered "taking things very literally" is a symptom for a lot of Redditors.

You're right though. Zone 4 ain't cheap and 70k as a single income isn't much.

I suspect there's a lot more complexity to this situation than OP is letting on too.

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Horror-Sink-227@reddit (OP)

Probably is to be honest, I don't know very much of the situation thank you for the honesty

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AlarmedAlarm626@reddit

Well ok then I’d be living a life of luxury having an extra 50k coming in. I could finally afford mini eggs and McDonald’s! haha

Going back to OPs post. You’re right something sounds off.. I don’t think the father is telling the truth about how much he’s spending..

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oscarx-ray@reddit

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Own-Pen3465@reddit

😆😆

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So_Gawjus@reddit

Op talks like an American. Am confused. I have never heard a fellow Brit use the term ‘expensive health conditions’ or ‘pay check’ in my life haha

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Horror-Sink-227@reddit (OP)

I am British 100%

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So_Gawjus@reddit

Being shattered makes you speak American? Wild.

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Horror-Sink-227@reddit (OP)

Apparently

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Horror-Sink-227@reddit (OP)

I literally just have no idea about life lol that's the only reason I'm asking anything of this

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Brilliant-Figure-149@reddit

... or "kinda". Very confusing.

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So_Gawjus@reddit

Oh kinda is not that telling for me fwiw, my 12 year old streamer obsessed nephew uses it all the time 🙄

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Brave_Assumption6@reddit

I mean when you have 20k a year working class people on benefits in some places living more relaxed than what Reddit thinks then yes I don't think your situation is normal.

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MaleFeministActuary@reddit

Redditeurs don't understand how a person's expenses also scale up with earnings. 70k sounds like a solid salary, but supporting a family in zone 4 on 70k is more challenging than if you were to get 20k worth of cash in hand benefits and your living expenses other than food paid for.

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matomo23@reddit

BS. Why aren’t more of you picking up on this? Paycheck, No £ sign, mom, health conditions.

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Brilliant-Figure-149@reddit

Because we have to be nice to Americans here, and not be a dick. (I've had short bans for less.)

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BusyBeeBridgette@reddit

on 70k? That's not normal to live pay check to pay check.

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Lazy-Kaleidoscope179@reddit

In London it is. If you live alone.

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Boring-Equivalent315@reddit

Paycheck?

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Electronic-Fennel828@reddit

I don’t live in London so I guess the rules are different but that does seem kind of batty. I grew up in a backwards small town in Lincolnshire but my dad earned decently as well, at least towards the end of my childhood.

Having said that he was absolutely awful with money. He would come home with the most ridiculous shit like £80 Parker pens and a new car with its arse falling out that he was going to “fix up” (never did) or a caravan that he was going to use all the time, which we never took a single trip in. He also used to drink pretty heavy and spent an eye watering amount on the lottery every month. So his earnings got better but our lifestyle didn’t. My mum was still making stews and stretching them a few days, less and less meat each time. I was still walking everywhere because I couldn’t afford the bus. Taking a packed lunch when I went out with friends because I couldn’t afford to eat out with them. Genuinely, my mums wages kept us alive and she’s a teaching assistant so she never made a lot of money.

It sounds like even if it’s not obvious stuff like it was with my dad, there is something pretty substantial eating at your dad’s earnings. Whether it’s pure greed and he’s stashing for his retirement or he has another secret family or something or whatever, there’s a sinkhole somewhere.

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bsnimunf@reddit

One of the infuriating things about being poor as a child was when me mum would just buy random shit and by the end of the week there was no food for us to eat. I know we were poor but we could have afforded some milk, cereal, eggs, bread etc. But no you had to impulse buy a rattan sofa or some other shopping channel shit. Once I got older I did resent her a little over it.

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BellendBuilder@reddit

How much is your mam rinsing your dad for until you’re 18

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pocahontasjane@reddit

Username most definitely checks out.

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BellendBuilder@reddit

Happily married man with 4 babies and wife who want for nothing. My username is indicative of my career and the stereotype associated with it.

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BalthazarOfTheOrions@reddit

Magic Mike?

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BellendBuilder@reddit

I wish pal. It ain’t big but it works 😂

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macayos@reddit

Did the dad not know how babies are made? Rinsing, really?

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BellendBuilder@reddit

Take your indignation elsewhere. Just say you’re a child, don’t realise how CS works in real terms and carry on with life

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PsychologyFancy2743@reddit

I can smell shit

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TechnicalAccountant2@reddit

Debt

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ExpectedDickbuttGotD@reddit

this is exactly what I was going to say

a lot of money is going somewhere, and debt's my best guess

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DonSneck@reddit

The more you earn the bigger your outgoings are gonna be!

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sparkline1234567@reddit

Gambling or drug addiction?

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HawkwardGames@reddit

Yeah, it can be fairly normal to feel a bit skint even on 70k now, especially in London. That is not the kind of salary it used to be, and as people earn more their outgoings often grow with it too. But at the same time, if someone is on 70k and is still constantly paycheck to paycheck while living in a rough area, not really travelling, and driving an old Honda, that usually means money is going somewhere else. Could be rent, debts, loans, helping other people out, or just bad spending habits, but there is probably more to it than just 70k not being loads anymore.

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