Is it rude to ask neighbour to turn music down even if it’s for 30 minutes a day?
Posted by Eastern_Canary2150@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 30 comments
Pretty much every single day our neighbour likes to play his music really loud , enough for us to hear the bass constantly thudding in our house. Dunno why I can’t let it go but it’s got to a point where I’m on edge waiting to hear it. Every evening when I get home from work I’m super anxious.
Just wondering, do I put my big boy pants on and kindly ask them to turn it down or should I just be thankful it’s not for longer and continue to save up and look to move?
Spicymargx@reddit
They’re either cleaning or working out. If it’s during reasonable hours and it’s half an hour a day, I’d let it go.
Over-Language2599@reddit
I'd do my cleaning during that time. Or whatever.
MustrumRidicully@reddit
One of my sons had something similar when he first moved out. The guy upstairs would play music for a couple of hour after he got home from work and the bass travelled through the concrete ceiling. Both of them were shift workers so my son ended up getting woken up or not being being able to sleep.
My lad had one or two of arguments with him about it with upstairs guy saying it wasn't that loud. Long story short, upstairs guy wasn't playing it that loud, but had his speakers sitting directly on the floor. From his point of view he was playing it at a reasonable volume but didn't realise how much the bass travelled through his floor/my son's ceiling. I wouldn't go so far as to say upstairs guy was mortified, but he didn't have a clue how loud it sounded downstairs and was suitably apologetic. He lifted his speakers off the floor which made a huge difference and everyone was happy.
So my advice would be to have a (friendly) word with your neighbour, explain that the bass is really loud, offer to let him come in and hear it and see if you can both find a way to mitigate it. You never lose anything by asking and you're stuck living next to him for a while so you may as well try and get on with him.
unnaturaldoings@reddit
Are you saying they only play music for 30 minutes? It could be they're doing some exercise and need to get their energy up. I'd casually mention it, but honestly, if its only 30mins I'd put up. there are far worse neighbours out there.
Nuthetes@reddit
I do excercise. I don't need my music that loud that it impacts other people.
If neighbours can hear your music, it's too loud. Turn it down or turn it off.
unnaturaldoings@reddit
You seem like fun! :/
But seriously 30mins of music might be needed for someone to get them pumped to actually workout. And whats loud to someone might not be loud to someone else. My mum is deaf and listens to music loud so she can hear it. You know, humans living together in close proximity. Sometimes people aren't being dicks. 30mins is nothing my neighbours are awful and they're awful for much longer than 30mins a day!
Any_Preference_4147@reddit
Personally, I wouldn't bother saying anything. If it's only 30 minutes it sounds like they're just doing a workout or something. Half hour of noise isn't going to kill anyone.
BellendBuilder@reddit
It is when it’s daily. I’ve had something similar and for months my wife wouldn’t let me react.
Then I did and the issue stopped
Eastern_Canary2150@reddit (OP)
Same here with my wife.
I think it’s a cop out to say ‘something deeper is going on’. I’m allowed to feel anxious and frustrated when it’s every day , trying to watch TV for example and just hearing ‘boom boom’.
BellendBuilder@reddit
You are indeed.
When it was us our kids were toddlers. Then we had a brand new baby and it woke her up screaming crying.
Told my wife..take the baby babe I won’t be long. She knew there’d be no rationalising with me.
I hate this whole “there’s something deeper” awesome so I must have a bad time because this cunt can’t regulate his emotions. Nah.
Few_Food_3705@reddit
I guess it’s how you tell them? I’m putting myself in my teenage self, I loved loud bass and big stereos at home, I’d play it every evening and most weekends. I guess my parents were at work? But my neighbours eventually knocked and didn’t look annoyed and were very calm, they literally just explained they understand I want to let off steam but it’s a bit much sometimes and asked if I wouldn’t mind limiting it a bit. They just suggested that it’s not too long or too late and preferably if the car wasn’t there. I was pretty rebellious but it felt like I had made an unwritten contract with my neighbour and I should respect that. The whole approach wasn’t for me to just turn it down or stop playing it so loud, they seemed to respect I was having fun and just wanted a little consideration.
BellendBuilder@reddit
If you can fight tell him.
If you can’t deal with it.
You don’t know what kind of person he is and have to be ready to defend yourself
Granddukecockwomble@reddit
You do not have a right to silence, they do have a right to play music during reasonable times. Not a leg to stand on...
Questjon@reddit
Go and tell them. It's entirely possible they had no idea it was upsetting you and they'll feel terrible about it. If they're not willing to compromise just put super glue in their locks when they're out.
acrowandababy@reddit
Fuck that. Put superglue in their locks while they're in.
Questjon@reddit
Nah, the glue binds up the pins in the cylinder but they'll still be able to open the door from the inside in most cases and changing a lock is a trivial job if you have access to the property.
Puzzleheaded-Put-154@reddit
Any glue recommendations?
Questjon@reddit
For woodworking, Titebond 3 is the only glue I use, it beats everything else on the market by a huge margin. For locks I don't think you can beat that really thin crap you get from poundland, it flows into all the nooks. For general filling and repairs, I'm a big fan of milliput.
cold_tap_hot_brew@reddit
Gorilla Glue for Guerrilla warfare
PKblaze@reddit
Always worth a convo provided they're decent enough people.
Our neighbours are worse and very hostile so the only way to deal with em is through the council.
notouttolunch@reddit
Ask them to play music you both enjoy. I can hear my neighbours kitchen radio because It's a room with hard floors and hard walls, meaning every noise is amplified a million times. She does, however, now listen to the same radio station as me after I asked her why she was wasting her time on radio 2 after they sacked all the good people.
haggis_catcher-@reddit
If there approachable id defo mention to them to turn it down a bit
Opposite_Funny9958@reddit
I had this with a neighbour - I explained it wasn’t the volume so much as the bass which was reverberating round the building, they were happy I wasn’t bothered by the volume and kept the bass down afterwards- it was much better.
Plugpin@reddit
No harm in asking them about it, it doesn't need to come from a place of hostility, houses these days have walls of paper anyway.
If they then turn it down go back round with a bottle of something to say thanks for being understanding.
Editor-In-Queef@reddit
I was doing this with my music after I got a vinyl player. Told my neighbour, who I'm friendly with, to tell me if it gets too loud. He hadn't said anything for a while, so I assumed they couldn't hear it. Eventually messaged after a few weeks like "Hey hate to be this guy" etc. and told me they could hear every word and it was very distracting.
After that I kept it quieter and we've not had an issue since. I sometimes ask just to check it's not been an issue again and all has been fine. Sometimes people just don't realise how loud they are and will adjust accordingly.
Wormwolf-Prime@reddit
If it's just 30 minutes I'd learn to live with it. He's probably just banging it on while he's in the shower or doing a quick workout. There's a lot worse he could do. You need to not obsess and get out of your head about it. If you can't just go for a walk or make it your podcast listening half hour.
4x6x8@reddit
Depends on what time. 30mins in the afternoon could’ve doing a work out or something. 11:56pm and I’d be hammering on there door.
cheandbis@reddit
Ask them to turn it down or look to move? For me, both. I hate noise and I couldn't live next to someone like that.
They may be OK and turn it down but I'd bet, over time, it'd return.
shak_0508@reddit
Just put on noise cancelling headphones i
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