Could one person eat a whole Colin the Caterpillar?

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BeaumarchaisApu@reddit

Over a few days?! I was ready to say 'yes' for one sitting.

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DanielReddit26@reddit

Right?!

Like when you someone say "could someone really eat a whole medium pizza?!?"

Cmon OP, where is your lack of self-control!

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Some time in the past couple of years I lost the ability to eat a whole medium pizza to myself in one sitting. I'm a 6'2 mid 30s male. I do tend to get deep pan so there is a lot of bread. I could probably do a thin crust.

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funfun151@reddit

Here are some tips. Never stop eating the pizza. If you’re having a polite conversation while eating it, shut that shit down and get focused on that pizza. Be economical with your bites, don’t want to get tired - 3 bites a slice max at peak performance. It is merely a pizza. You are a pizza disposal unit. Act accordingly.

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ema_l_b@reddit

Or just fold it like a calzone

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MooMorris@reddit

Hey dude, you can still do it, just need to believe in yourself. We're all rooting for you.

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Wind-and-Waystones@reddit

I keep trying. I get to about 4/6 slices and I'm just done. I do eat the last couple of slices about 3 or 4 hours later so it isn't wasted.

My pizza of choice, from my local place, at the minute is: Double Pepperoni Red onion Sweet and spicy peppers Fresh tomato Anchovies

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InternationalRide5@reddit

I'd go easier on the peppers if I were you.

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LibraryOfFoxes@reddit

My partner and I were reminiscing about how we used to eat a full pizza each on a Saturday night when we first moved in together, and we were trying to remember when we stopped doing that. We share a thin one now with a bit of salad and it feels like plenty.

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ListenFalse6689@reddit

Same apart from the 6'2 mid 30s and male. The worst part is that when I was a stone and a half lighter I could eat and eat and eat and nothing happened. Now I just get full so quickly but put weight on even though I'm eating way less than I used to. I swear I could have been a competitive eater in my youth.

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franki-pinks@reddit

That really annoys me. I bought a fish and chips last Friday at work on our lunch break and someone said “are you really going to eat all that?” The only reason I didn’t have two battered sausages and a potato fritter with it is because I didn’t want to wait for them.

For the record I am a 9 stone woman but can eat like a horse.

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ChateauLaFeet@reddit

It really annoys me that someone said that to you!

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LambonaHam@reddit

Ah yes, horses. Famous for their love of haddock and tartar sauce

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franki-pinks@reddit

Cod and mushy peas actually. I’m not posh.

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LibraryOfFoxes@reddit

Cod is the posh fish here (north east Scotland) it's haddock you're getting if you order a fish supper.

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Suspicious_Tax8577@reddit

THIS. "You'll never eat all that!" I can, when the mood take me, demolish a 10 inch pizza, portion of chips, and still go "I'm still hungry, what's for pudding?"

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terryjuicelawson@reddit

Fish and chips portion sizes can be mad though, I didn't appreciate it until we got it home and put it on our normal dinner plates. The chips literally filled the entire thing in a mountain. The fish had to be balanced on top, with sauce and peas just on the side. Like if I was making that with oven chips and cod it would be less than a quarter of the size I reckon.

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notanadultyadult@reddit

You put it on a plate? Oooo la de da, how fancy.

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franki-pinks@reddit

Yeah this was massive but I sure wasn’t wasting it. Put me in a food coma for the afternoon but that’s the perks of being the boss lol

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Long-Woodpecker-1980@reddit

Same. I thought they were gonna ask if they could eat it on the train to London.

As long as the journey lasts more than 15 minutes, I could do it

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AnswersQuestioned@reddit

15 minutes?! What are you, a mouse? I wouldn’t have even made it off the platform

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h00dman@reddit

Platform?! I'd have devoured it off the shelf, still in it's packaging, save for the barcode strip which I'd hand to the cashier, and then eat that after I've paid.

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miked999b@reddit

Shelf? I'd have eaten it in the factory, before it's even been packaged, then eaten the packaging anyway.

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Queasy_Difference_96@reddit

You’re all rookies. I’d just eat the ingredients before it’s even been baked!

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DiscussionOk1098@reddit

I think you will find your the rookie, I would just eat the ingredients before they are decided as ingredients.. I understand the risk; the reward was worth its

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Sumpner@reddit

These Rookies, I ate a real Caterpillar, none of this fake stuff

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getstabbed@reddit

As long as it's called Colin I'll allow it.

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DiscussionOk1098@reddit

Sorry you lose, the caterpillar you ate was called Clive 🤷🏼‍♂️

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Then_Care@reddit

Clive is a cheeky bastard, he nearly fooled me into eating him but his cousin Clyde shouted out his name before I did. I never did find a Colin, had to make do with the cake 😔

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GeekerJ@reddit

M&S will sue you for that.

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tinkerballer@reddit

It’s good of you to wait until after you’ve paid to eat the cashier

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Imaginary-Giraffe301@reddit

Shitting out that cellophane would be a nightmare though.

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KeyHuckleberry2560@reddit

No room left for the cashier?

Lightweight.

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sampapsi@reddit

In the store?! I'm going straight to the source and letting the conveyor belt feed it straight into my mouth...

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ErmahgerdPerngwens@reddit

I’m getting such a laugh out of imagining a morning I get on the train and someone is devouring a Colin. Envious, but amused.

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DiscussionOk1098@reddit

Similar but not so similar, one of the stores I worked at. I was outside having a break.. and a bloke had gone in brought a trifle, got outside and just started laying into using a debit card as a spoon 😂😂😂

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No-Scientist-9049@reddit

I've eaten jelly on public transport like this.

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Creepy-Albatross-588@reddit

If it’s got a foil lid you can make a rudimentary spoon with it

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DiscussionOk1098@reddit

I applaud you

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Ok_Young1709@reddit

Honestly after a bad day at work, that could seriously be me 😂

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DiscussionOk1098@reddit

That could be me at work, after a bad minute after clocking in

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OccidentalTouriste@reddit

A refined gentleman.

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No-Extension-2378@reddit

I'm making it my mission to eat a Colin cake next time I'm on a train.

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LambonaHam@reddit

I'm now thinking about taking a train just for this. Which route is the most scenic when eating Colin's Caterpillar.

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DiscussionOk1098@reddit

Your looking for the ‘FakeTrain’ 🤷🏼‍♂️

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lottiereddit@reddit

i used to work with a guy who would eat a whole packet of penguins at lunchtime. mad respect.

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mhoulden@reddit

Your challenge is to finish one on the Tube between Leicester Square and Covent Garden.

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EveryChemistry9163@reddit

Colin x Mornington Crescent

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Even_Passenger_3685@reddit

Like a chocolate bar too, just chomping into it whole

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GarethGore@reddit

A few days? Fucking amateur hour with you people.

Also yes, assuming you like chocolate, do it

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thebigchil73@reddit

Just push it in yer cakehole, one and done.

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AcanthaceaeNew9639@reddit

😹😹😹

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MassiveApples@reddit

A-hem * in instance, it's surely yer Colin-hole?

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Bigluce@reddit

I wish we could unhinge our jaws like snakes do. I could just lay on my bed and inhale a Colin and then doze in glorious gluttony

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fozziwoo@reddit

was gonna say yes, but not the face, over a few days?! man, i'd even eat the face

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LambonaHam@reddit

Right? Over a few days I could go through the entire caterpillar family...

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feralwest@reddit

Give me 10 minutes and maybe a napkin.

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tobotic@reddit

What about one bite?

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miked999b@reddit

Surely you're not going to deepthroat Colin? 😱

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Phantom_Crush@reddit

I thought they were asking if they could eat it in one train journey lol. I could 😒

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tomahawk66mtb@reddit

Nah, not possible over a few days. I haven't got the willpower to stop myself from finishing in 15 mins.

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godoflemmings@reddit

There used to be a rectangular Flake cake which was something like 30 cm x 10 x 10, I did one of those in one sitting once and I'm pretty sure Colin's smaller than that. Easy clap.

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BigWhole3650@reddit

The bar has been set very low here

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baconlove5000@reddit

You can get mini Colins which are pretty similar to the big cake experience.

But otherwise yes. In one sitting. With regrets.

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delpigeon@reddit

They are similar but the big cake is superior in terms of texture ratios. So if you want the real deal, I'd get the full Colin.

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Chickenhugga@reddit

I mean sure, but maybe just offer it out to people on a train or hotel staff?

I could polish one off but in a fatboy

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Daewoo40@reddit

Are you taking some cake off some random tourist with a knife and a Colin the caterpillar cake?

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Bla0705@reddit

My head knows the answer to this but in practice I feel the answer would absolutely be yes

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Chickenhugga@reddit

Ok. The knife thing would be sus

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dedido@reddit

Free cake!

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bee-sting@reddit

if they were on my table seat on the train you better believe i'm saying yes

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Silly-Industry1527@reddit

What kind of person hands out cake on a train you absolute lunatic?!

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Choice-Lemon4500@reddit

To be fair I used to do beer tastings and was doing a beer tasting on the train from London to Edinburgh for my mate's birthday. I had some extra so got a few other travellers involved as well. Was pretty popular! Most people have never had champagne beer either.

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ShihtzuMum39@reddit

Now, this is a question brits can get enthusiastic about 🙂🤣 Enjoy, Colin is a great cake 🎂

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Littleleicesterfoxy@reddit

Thank you for this question, op. The answers are a delight.

Yes, I’m not a big eater but even I could down a Colin over a few days (not that I’d get the chance in my house). Other superiors tier cakes include the chocolate Fiona Cairns cupcakes at Waitrose if you see one.

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Accomplished-Salt797@reddit

I probably would, wouldn't even think twice about it 👀

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dmllbit@reddit

Gonna be downvoted so much for this.

M&S just brought out a gluten free version, so I had my first Colin recently. My husband was raving about how similar the gluten free version was to the gluten containing one. Not having been blown away, I asked my husband what it was that he loved about a Colin: “It tastes like nostalgia”.

Adjust expectations accordingly.

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LittleSadRufus@reddit

It's cheap, shelf stable cake for children's parties. Absolutely nostalgia is the main selling point for adults.

That and the dream that one day you might get the slice with the face.

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PartyPoison98@reddit

I'd add to this that Colin recently ranked quite poorly compared to all the pseudo-Colins from other shops. I believe Waitrose has the best.

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Adorable_Past9114@reddit

Of course if OP could share journey details we could all meet on the train and eat Colin the caterpillar cakes.

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llynglas@reddit

Is this even a question?

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OldLondon@reddit

Dedicated? I could do it for breakfast. Also you don’t have to eat it all, also they do mini ones and no not in the fridge

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Mushroom-Important@reddit (OP)

There’s minis?!! This is the best news I’ve received all week

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OldLondon@reddit

Yep you can buy a little pack of 6

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soundguyjon@reddit

I’d argue it’s definitely not the same as having a slice of a proper one though.

If you really wanted to go full Colin the Caterpillar mad get up to the factory in Oldham and go to the factory shop. You can pick up a slightly wonky one for next to nothing, a bag of his feet and faces, it’s the Colin The Caterpillar Mecca.

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nonsense6@reddit

A bag of feet and faces is a disturbing thought

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batteryforlife@reddit

”Assorted Colin parts”

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ASpookyBitch@reddit

Catapillar bits

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DolphinRapeCave@reddit

I read it as faeces, so it could be worse.

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Dazzling-Wanderer@reddit

Adds this to list :-)

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Round_Grand_4716@reddit

Is cheap cake worth going to Oldham for?

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FPRorNothing@reddit

Thank you for this life changing information

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tinymoominmama@reddit

This is very important information.

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Fit-Vanilla-3405@reddit

You can pick up a slightly wonky one at Aldi too.

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Long-Woodpecker-1980@reddit

Fun fact, the persom who runs the packing department of that factory is called the Mecca Pakka.

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LucyThought@reddit

I thought it was five but I’m open to correction

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nonsense6@reddit

The minis aren't as good though because the proportion of cake to chocolate is all off. For the authentic Colin experience you need to go full size.

Also if you have access to a microwave I can recommend heating it for about 10 seconds so the chocolate filling goes a bit gooey.

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OldLondon@reddit

What if you ate all 6 in one go?

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Pick_Up_Autist@reddit

I fear you don't understand what proportions or ratios are.

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OldLondon@reddit

Not when I’m stuffing my face with chocolate it’s the ratio of chocolate and my face that counts

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Pick_Up_Autist@reddit

You've gotta utilise the nostrils for maximum ratios.

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OldLondon@reddit

Oh eyeholes… misread that

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Pick_Up_Autist@reddit

We're sticking to the face for now. Advanced lessons available for a fee.

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thechosengobbo@reddit

Are you sure this isn't an elaborate ad for your onlyfans?

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Scorpiodancer123@reddit

There is life changing information in this Q+A. Microwaving for gooey chocolate and a factory of feet and faces.

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tmr89@reddit

5, not 6

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runrunrudolf@reddit

Minis are okay but not the same. The chocolate coating to sponge ratio is off.

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Pepsi_E@reddit

at my local BP they also sell them single

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snarkycrumpet@reddit

you can buy a single colin in a package usually in front of the sandwich section at M&S. this is my standard "bring with me on my flight for a snack" treat when leaving Heathrow. terminals 2 and 3 at Heathrow have mini M&S foods on lower level arrivals, hit it up.

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palpatineforever@reddit

not the same though...

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LongBeakedSnipe@reddit

Also, let's be honest, Colin isn't what it used to be.

The reason it became so popular apart from being extremely cute, was it was made using the same chocolate as in their Swiss chocolate extremely chocolately Swiss rolls or whatever they were called. It was an incredible cake.

The recipe was changed multiple times over the years, and the chocolate is much much worse than it used to be—I find the frequent taste of sugar crystals in the chocolate particularly unpleasant.

I still would eat it, it's still a great breakfast cake, it's just not what it once was.

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ThisShouldBeAGif@reddit

The Waitrose one is now the best actual cake, but it doesn’t look at great as Colin and hasn’t got as thick a chocolate layer. The extremely chocolate mini rolls and biscuits are still brilliant though

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Juuudes@reddit

Waitrose's Cecil beat Colin in a cake-off. https://www.theguardian.com/business/2026/apr/02/m-and-s-colin-the-caterpillar-loses-which-cake-taste-test-waitrose-cecil-best-buy?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

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Ok-Ostrich44@reddit

I was going to say don't get the Waitrose one, too dry...

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InternationalRide5@reddit

a great breakfast cake

You should go on Dragons' Den with that ...

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Miss-Hell@reddit

It’s just not the same. If you are going to do it, do it properly! Eat the whole thing and report back!

Make sure you get the original from m&s as well:

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Mango_Flummery@reddit

The minis win. Get the minis!

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LetMeReadPlease@reddit

If you have a dog they do dog toys too

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vcockle@reddit

The sponge to chocolate ratio isn't the same.

What you should do is smash in a regular one during your visit then take a pack of the smaller ones home. For scientific purposes, obviously!

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AcanthaceaeNew9639@reddit

minis are moister too

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Scorpiodancer123@reddit

I prefer the minis personally, they're the perfect balance of cake and chocolate for me.

But as a scientist, you need to decide for yourself using all available evidence. Therefore I recommend you try both. It's the only way.

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Chippiewall@reddit

The minis really aren't the same thing. Get a pack to take home and share with friends and family, but still try a proper one.

If you're getting a "proper" M&S Caterpillar cake (rather than a knock off from a different supermarket) they do sometimes do special ones at different times of year that are smaller but aren't mini (the Valentines ones are half sized for example).

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ZanzibarGuy@reddit

Surely the Valentines special edition should be... lengthier or.. uh.. girthier? A half-Colin feels a little bit like, "Soz babes, today I only love you half as much".

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Choice-Lemon4500@reddit

The big one is much better though.

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blackcurrant84@reddit

You can buy them as a single as well. But treat yourself and do the whole thing. If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. Challenge yourself!

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Educational_Ad2737@reddit

You can literally put them as part of lunch meal deal at most BP M&S gas stations

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potatan@reddit

Peter the Pupa

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nahnahnahthatsnotme@reddit

the ratio is way off for the minis - don’t be fooled.

only way is buy a full size and slice.

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Fit-Vanilla-3405@reddit

I’m so jealous someone else got to tell you.

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LegolasleChat@reddit

Mini ones are two, maybe three mouthfuls. You'll be left wanting so much more.

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Willing-Job8685@reddit

You can buy half a Colin at least in larger M&S stores. You could eat this easy over 2-3 days

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No_Doughnut3257@reddit

Buy the big one, coward

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Mimicking-hiccuping@reddit

Oh, I'd need at least a litre of milk to wash that down. Or two cups of tea.

Cakes to dry without a cup of tea.

And tea is to wet without a biscuit or cake.

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KawaiiBunBun097@reddit

It's better than a breakfast cereal or toast.

Colin gives you carbs and fibre from the flour. Protein from the milk, eggs, and butter. Sounds pretty nutritious to me. Cake should be a breakfast item.

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MaxximumB@reddit

No refrigeration needed. I doubt you could finish one in a single sitting without feeling sick. But it's an easy task in 3+ days.

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Additional-End-7688@reddit

I’ve done it, many many times 💪

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ema_l_b@reddit

This is the most British thing I've read so far this week, and i love it.

You know the head tilt that cats and dogs do when they hear something, and they're not sure what it was?

That's how I picture people from other countries when they stumble across this sub 😂😂

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endurance-animal@reddit

I am heading to the UK in a few weeks for a running race, and I am now SOOOO excited to eat myself a whole Colin the Caterpillar afterwards.

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ema_l_b@reddit

🙌

Depending on how much you like it, you could get a Colin the Caterpillar soft toy as a keepsake

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SparkleWitch525@reddit

100% getting one of these now!! Thank you for sharing!!

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OwnStruggle9260@reddit

There's a lady on Instagram who has been trying different foods as running fuel and for her birthday she took a pack of mini Colin's and actually praised them as an excellent running food (she's also tried Gregg's sausage rolls, creme eggs etc.)

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Lion_tattoo_1973@reddit

I’d have a damn good try!

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NeilPatrickWarburton@reddit

I did this once over a week.

Was left unsatisfied finally knowing the answer to whether “I could” and just replaced it with whether “I should”.

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mantequilla69420@reddit

Can confess, it's possible in 2 sittings

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annaand@reddit

As an aside. Colin isn't necessarily the best choice as per this article.

Colin may be the OG but all the supermarkets have their own version, despite M&S's best efforts.

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Defiant-Tackle-0728@reddit

I once saw a group of Commuters celebrating with Caterpillar cake, on the train from Gatwick to brighton.....

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MemoryKeepAV@reddit

Could they? Yes. Should they? No.

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Wobblycogs@reddit

Days, easy. I thought you meant in one go. In one go would be a push, but by god, I'd give it a good go.

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Solid_Contact6529@reddit

Am I the only Brit who has never even been tempted to eat a Colin the Caterpillar?

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Mc_and_SP@reddit

You underestimate my power if you don't think I could manage this...

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AffectionateRoof5939@reddit

Easy

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FunGuyHan@reddit

Yes. They could. Not hard at all.

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Stopfordian-gal@reddit

A child could eat a whole Colin the caterpillar .🐛

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NeitherDance6795@reddit

Don’t threaten me with a good time

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Organic_Sampler@reddit

What even is this question? Its a basic sponge. light work.

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Tall_Relief_9914@reddit

Do people usually share them..?

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sharpecads@reddit

I have done so. In about 20 minutes. I was proud.

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E420CDI@reddit

In one sitting? Definitely.

My ME will happily guzzle through the glucose and sugar in an instant (then I'll be fatigued and exhausted again)

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Hazz3r@reddit

Yes, I have one for my birthday every year and usually eat it in the space of 2-3 days.

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Millietree@reddit

Yes, absolutely I can eat a whole Colin the caterpillar. In fact I can eat the whole pack!! 😂

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franki-pinks@reddit

I came home drunk once and with a pint of milk and a post kebab sweet tooth I ate a whole Colin the caterpillar apart from his face which I put in my handbag for some reason and was a not so pleasant surprise later the next day.

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ohscorchio@reddit

Reading this comment and getting to the word "handbag" reminded me of the first time I saw the video for Smack My Bitch Up.

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franki-pinks@reddit

Standard night out for me that video is

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AdLower3335@reddit

Love this.

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franki-pinks@reddit

I’m a classy lady lol

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Shellrant42day@reddit

😆😆

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saint1997@reddit

How on earth did you drink a pint of milk whilst drunk?

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franki-pinks@reddit

The question isn’t how I drunk it but how I held it down! The next day I went out on my horse and my stomach did not feel good lol

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NorseRider420@reddit

Standard horse girl behaviour (from a fellow horse girl)

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franki-pinks@reddit

Haha nothing stops a nice Sunday trot through the woods. Even a bellyful of wine, kebab, milk and Colin.

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melonysnicketts@reddit

That’s what I used to refer to all my Saturday night dalliances as too, Colin

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Chidoribraindev@reddit

We only have Colins around when birthdays are coming up soon. Did you eat someone's birthday Colin the Caterpillar?

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franki-pinks@reddit

I bought it for my nephews birthday as my husband was going to make him a cake but got ill. Luckily my sister bought him another cake so we had a spare Colin. I was thinking about it all night “I’m gonna fucking demolish Colin when I get home”

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EvaM87@reddit

My hero!

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franki-pinks@reddit

Thank you 🙏

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DanIsASavage@reddit

Yes - Next

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Caddy666@reddit

for you, and your pitiful appetite.

https://www.ocado.com/products/m-s-mini-colin-the-caterpillar-cakes/511060011

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Robynsxx@reddit

I mean duh.

And no, doesn’t need to be refrigerated.

I think you’ll be a bit disappointed though, it truly isn’t anything special.

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wtafis-this@reddit

I love that this is the only question you have about travelling to London - awesome! Get the big Colin and enjoy!!!

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AdDependent5136@reddit

Can and have, m8

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Adventurous_Deal2788@reddit

They do miniature ones I'm sure

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EternallySickened@reddit

I once ate a whole walls Venetta, in one sitting without a spoon. I reckon I could make a fair run at a Colin.

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absolutebuoy@reddit

They actually make you eat a whole one before they’ll let you through passport control.

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PARFT@reddit

they do small ones

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IsopodCommercial8299@reddit

I once got a Colin cake for my sister and my mum was super pissed I'd bought such a "cheap" cake so she went off to buy a fancy one. While she was gone I ate the entire fucking thing in anger. She came back empty handed saying all the cakes had sold out and mine would "have to do" wherein I presented CRUMBS. 10/10 would do it again.

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notouttolunch@reddit

Colin or any one of his identical brothers would be a tiny snack. They're not exactly large. It's only courtesy and politeness that would stop me from eating one from head to tail in one go.

I do also hold the office record for eating 29 Cadbury cream eggs in 1 hour with only one cup of tea. But even so, I don't consider the cake challenge to be remotely difficult. If anyone can't do it, it's because they won't do it.

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MaleFeministActuary@reddit

yes, they're not that big

Why would you want to? Vanilla tray bake is much nicer.

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Interesting_Space110@reddit

Not OPs answer

But today I found out they do MEGA COLINS on the M&S website which serve 40 people. Now this, I would struggle to eat in one sitting. Give me 24 hours and that guy is history.

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KarenJoanneO@reddit

You can get ‘baby Colin’ cakes, 6 in a pack!

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

Get the Cecil from Waitrose, it's better
Yes of course one can eat it in a single evening
It's cake, it doesn't need refrigerating

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ChateauLaFeet@reddit

News I can use, thanks!

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elegantideas@reddit

are there mini cecils as well?

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Luckyduckyfu@reddit

Yes there is a pack of 5 mini Cecils

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alexterm@reddit

Yes! Colin is actually one of the worst versions of caterpillar cake. The Cecil is amazing.

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CartoonistNo9@reddit

How big do you think it is? It’s just a big Swiss roll.

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The__Groke@reddit

Yes, yes I could

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Haunted_Duck721@reddit

Why are there no photos of Colin the Caterpillar??

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hengehanger@reddit

Yes, of course.

[-]

LittleUglyBug@reddit

Probably but would definitely not be a good idea.

[-]

Just-Standard-992@reddit

I mean, can you do it? Definitely. Should you do it? Realistically maybe not.

[-]

Forward-Article7035@reddit

Trust yourself, something you can easily do!

[-]

hellyfrosty@reddit

THIS! Is exactly what this subreddit should be used for! Take my poor person award OP 🏆

[-]

HeyKillerBootsMan@reddit

I could, quite easily. Though afterwards I may not feel so great, mentally and physically

[-]

Longjumping_Pilot840@reddit

Of course! You can do one in 10 mins with a good mug of tea…apparently ;-)

[-]

Naive_Reach2007@reddit

They do a pack of six mini ones

[-]

spinners_888@reddit

I used to eat roulades all to myself in one sitting every other day for a few weeks. Used to work in a Tesco warehouse and one Christmas there used to be pallettes of overstocked roulades to take home. This was in my early 20s and could get away with eating crap and burn the calories picking at a warehouse. Even as a keen runner mid-40s now I wouldn't be able to get away with it.

[-]

Plane_Shoe_166@reddit

You can buy mini ones, damn. No need for this drama 😂😂😂

[-]

Anxious-Ad-5780@reddit

The topic header alone on this one cracked me up. Proper Reddit question this. Brilliant.

[-]

mcnutty96@reddit

Unless they give you a madeline moment and take you back to your childhood parties, they really arnt great

[-]

roblawton@reddit

Yes. Bruce Bogtrotter.

[-]

hhfugrr3@reddit

Over a few days??? Give me 10 minutes and I'll give you a clean plate!!

[-]

bennythefish@reddit

You can buy the small ones . Same size as the mini rolls

[-]

motific@reddit

Prepare to be... underwhelmed.

> I’m traveling solo so in theory could one, dedicated individual polish one off on their own over the course of a few days?

A dedicated person could polish one off while waiting for the train to London from most places.

> Also does it need to be refrigerated?

No, the amount of chemical preservatives in one mean you have nothing to worry about unless you let it get warm enough to melt the chocolate.

[-]

rex500andone@reddit

It only weighs 625g with 2,825 calories and m&s say it serves 12 people so that's easy for one person in one sitting assuming they have a mouth.

In conclusion, if you're here for a few days you're going to need multiple Colin the Caterpillar cakes.

[-]

Boudicat@reddit

You won't a) need a fridge, or b) regret your purchase (apart from some post-binge shame, potentially.

[-]

Warren_Tarbiat@reddit

I can eat one of those cakes in two sittings, give me nice whipped cream and give me a good long The Exploring Series YT video to watch.

[-]

AdmiralPellaeon@reddit

Over a few days no problem!! But If you can’t handle a big one, they do a cute mini version. They are more like a chocolate Swiss roll though

[-]

a-liquid-sky@reddit

Over a couple of days? Absolutely.

[-]

Lt_Muffintoes@reddit

A couple of hours? Easy

A couple of minutes? Possible

A couple of seconds? Now we're talking

[-]

Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit

Dislocate the lower mandible, like a python, and just shove it down the cake-hole in one piece.

[-]

Lt_Muffintoes@reddit

As nature intended

[-]

Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit

You know the Colin the Caterpillar cake isn't exclusive to London? Every supermarket in the UK has some variant of it. It's not a local delicacy 😂

[-]

rainbow-songbird@reddit

Today I learnt I am the only one who refrigerated leftover cake.

[-]

SceneDifferent1041@reddit

Check YouTube for an English chap called "Beard Meats Food"......

Your question should be can anyone eat 30.

[-]

SignificantCricket@reddit

Just in case you are quite small and can’t physically make yourself eat a lot of high cal food at once, and that is why you are asking, I am around 8 stone and petite and I have eaten one over about 24h: grazing through the afternoon and evening, and then finished the end of it by midday the next day. (Without anything else except drinks and maybe small amount of fruit)

[-]

stumblingthrough1ife@reddit

Ok, so once, as a uni student, I realised I could eat birthday cake whenever I want, not just birthdays and bought a Colin the Caterpillar cake. I lived off it for a few days. Is it something I’d do again? Probably not. Do I regret it? Hell no!

[-]

Glittering_Place_355@reddit

I’m so here for this reply

[-]

CoffeeandaTwix@reddit

Yes, they could do it in one sitting if the humour was on them but you may also like to know that you can buy miniature individual ones so you can try a reasonable portion.

[-]

Persona_Insomnia@reddit

Man was made to climb mountains. Go for it.

[-]

Raisinsandfairywings@reddit

I have now given birth close to my own birthday twice, and I absolutely ate almost a whole caterpillar cake both times (I only say “almost” because of course I had to save a sliver for my partner).

[-]

YouSayWotNow@reddit

I mean some of us could polish it off in a single sitting? Over a few days, easily. Not even a question!!!

It doesn't need refrigerating.

[-]

PKblaze@reddit

Less a question of could, and more a question of if you should.

[-]

Helena_Handcart1@reddit

Refrigerated? No. Air-tight containerr?… would be a good idea.

[-]

dragonfarter@reddit

Im loving the fact this question was marked "serious replies only"

[-]

chiefpeaeater@reddit

This reminds me of my colleague who would would eat 1 finger of a 4 finger chocolate kitkat then re-wrap it and eat another finger in the afternoon or the next day. Anna, is this you?

[-]

Green_Lychee8221@reddit

Yes. - takes about 30 minutes.

[-]

superduperbongodrums@reddit

Yes I tried the other day funnily enough, I have a very sweet tooth but even I failed

[-]

addietahlia@reddit

This is exactly what I came to reddit for 🤗 sure u could!! Take one for the team dude

[-]

Pixielized@reddit

brother, I once realised that as an adult I can just buy and eat cake and had an entire chocolate cake for breakfast in one sitting. You can eat a whole colin the caterpillar. You can eat as many as you like.

[-]

JakeGreyjoy@reddit

This is an amateur level challenge. Colin would be history

[-]

Perfect_Consequence9@reddit

Take your time it can be rich in taste.

[-]

Leifang666@reddit

Yes, if you had a generous portion after lunch and dinner, it'll be easily done.

[-]

Lonely-Job484@reddit

This might be a boring answer, but they do do small ones in at least the bigger stores.

[-]

excitablegibben@reddit

I once ate a collin on a train ride home from the cannabis cup and I'm a skinny dude.

[-]

Altruistic-Basil@reddit

Yes but if you're really concerned they also do mini versions.

[-]

Calm-Homework3161@reddit

No, no, no. I wouldn't even try. The dog ate most of it, I swear

[-]

prankishink@reddit

Mini Colin cakes are perfect for one. I had one as my birthday cake

[-]

Outrageous_Bar6729@reddit

That depends on the person, on a good day I could polish one off in a single day (probably not one sitting but a day easy).

My wife, probably not in 3-4 days.

My best mate who is 6"4 and built like a tank could probably finish it in one sitting, one of my other mates would probably mange 1/3 of the cake over a 3 day period.

[-]

David_Richardson@reddit

The things people need help with. It’s a cake.

[-]

1mp-possible@reddit

Slowly unwraps the top of a subway roll, only to reveal Colin’s face - begins to devour to a mixture of disapproval and envy from fellow travellers

[-]

Sharks_and_Bones@reddit

Controversial opinion: Colin the caterpillar is a shit cake.

[-]

g00gleb00gle@reddit

They also do smaller since mini rolls ones

[-]

noramiao11@reddit

Having recently had a gluten free Colin, I would say yes it is possible. But you would need lots of cups of tea to help wash it down and probably need a midway pause to reflect on your life choices.

[-]

Mother-Market-4056@reddit

You wouldn't need to be that dedicated. If you put out a sliced up Colin the Caterpillar in my house I'd end up eating it all.

[-]

Successful-Tune2225@reddit

It's overrated. Get some treats from the M&S bakery and eat them over a few days instead!

[-]

Alzdeejay2@reddit

There's better cakes than that your going to be disappointed 🤣🤣

[-]

Shannoonuns@reddit

You could, it is big though.

You can get mini colins too.

[-]

Competitive_Test6697@reddit

You'd manage Clyde and Cecil. Colin is a tough task. Possibly Cuthbert would be a shout.

Charlie, Chris and Clive are no's.

[-]

TriedToaster@reddit

What about good old Wiggles?

[-]

Chidoribraindev@reddit

The line between the real and fake caterpillars here is so faded. I don't know what reality is anymore.

[-]

EyeAware3519@reddit

Don't do Charlie first it'll ruin your appetite.

[-]

bethelns@reddit

Yes you can although theyre generally dry af and not a good cake.

[-]

OneSufficientFace@reddit

With ease... Id be more concerned about how my arse would be following all that diabetes material

[-]

TriedToaster@reddit

You could do it in one sitting also try it flambéed

[-]

mrspillins@reddit

Everyday for me is just a constant struggle to not eat things like Colin the Caterpillar in one go.

[-]

Nuo_Vibro@reddit

Just one?

[-]

Azuras-Becky@reddit

Qui Gon could!

[-]

topher2604@reddit

I could definitely eat a whole one in one sitting. I wouldn't enjoy doing it, but it's absolutely possible.

[-]

TheLadyHelena@reddit

Has anyone else got an advert for Army Jobs in the middle of this thread?

Like 'eat a whole Colin? This is a job for the army!' 🤣

Personally, I wouldn't bother - they're a cute gimmick but the cake isn't actually very nice.

[-]

g0_west@reddit

If you can eat a mini roll, you can eat a whole Colin the Caterpillar cake. If you can eat a Colin the Caterpillar cake, you can eat a standard issue MRE ration pack while pinned down in the mountains outside Tehran. British Army. Be the best.

[-]

mrstickles@reddit

I agree, they’re way overhyped 🫣 for a kids birthday or nostalgia, absolutely fine. But the UK has so many fantastic desserts and compared to those Colin can get in the bin

[-]

firefly232@reddit

I've got a "Community Fibre" ad right next to a comment about starting from the bum end...

[-]

TheLadyHelena@reddit

😂

[-]

Jonny_Segment@reddit

‘If you can eat a Cadbury’s mini roll, you can eat a chocolate Swiss roll…’

(I know that's a Royal Navy advert.)

[-]

mhoulden@reddit

A while ago Jim'll Paint It did Colin battling Aldi's Cuthbert in Kaiju style while a couple of British squaddies try to keep them separate.

[-]

TheLadyHelena@reddit

I love Jim 😍

[-]

TytoCwtch@reddit

My adverts for joining the gym which seems slightly more apt!

[-]

ceelo_purple@reddit

I'm on old.reddit.com which doesn't have ads.

[-]

YoungGazz@reddit

Me too

[-]

StrangelyBrown@reddit

"Have you 'got what it takes'?"

[-]

PUSH_AX@reddit

Have you got what it takes to gobble up the cakes

[-]

Etheria_system@reddit

Mine is for a fancy hotel. Reddit wants me to eat my gluten free Colin in peace and privacy

[-]

misimalu@reddit

Happy to confess that I have concluded many a drunken night out in London by demolishing a Colin the Caterpillar on the last train home from Waterloo to Guildford

[-]

Thisoneissfwihope@reddit

Mate, I ate 1/2 a Costco chocolate cake over a few days. Colin is a fucking amuse bouche.

[-]

Long_Huckleberry1751@reddit

Kudos to you. Those are hard going, although I guess there's not much chewing required.

[-]

notanadultyadult@reddit

You can get mini ones. Not quite the same but it’s essentially not much different tbh.

But yes, one person could eat a Colin if they enjoy chocolate and cake and happiness.

[-]

-Rhymenocerous-@reddit

Yes. Ive done it before.

Did i feel awful after? Yes.

Do i regret it? No

Would i do it again? Most likely

[-]

g0_west@reddit

I watched someone eat a whole pizza separately (as in a big ball of raw dough, a whole bag of mozzerella, a whole bag of pepperoni, and washed down with a whole jar of sauce) on instagram the other day. You can eat whatever you want really

[-]

One-Price680@reddit

In one sittin / over a few days. same difference

[-]

Active_Arugula_7079@reddit

‘And what is the purpose of your visit sir?’

[-]

ReviewEnvironmental2@reddit

Tips to enjoy your Colin the Caterpillar experience:

Always start at the bum end. The face is always eaten last. This should be in the UK Citizenship test.

Don’t try to cut through the chocolate feet or decorations. Pull the decorations off the top, and plan your slicing around the feet if you can. You can carefully remove the feet if it helps.

The same goes for the face. Don’t try eating it with a normal sized slice of cake attached. For one, it’s difficult to eat, also the chocolate is quite sweet and the face on its own is probably enough for one portion. Slice off the face from the final slice to eat it, usually with a little bit of cake stuck to it which makes it even yummier.

If you end up sharing, plan out the sharing of the choccy bits and who gets the face. The face is thin enough that it can be cut using a sharp knife on a sturdy chopping board if need be.

I’ve always found he tastes best served on a nice plate with a cake fork and a cup of tea.

If you want him to last a few days you can keep him fresh by wrapping the cut end in cling film.

Also you can get packs of mini Colins, his face and a bag of mini faces from M&S too. Handy for train journeys.

Enjoy!

I’m hungry now.

[-]

Bombadombaway@reddit

This person is a seasoned Colineater.

[-]

UnacceptableUse@reddit

I thought a colineater was one of those things you use to strain pasta

[-]

Sir-Craven@reddit

How many Colins do you estimate you have consumed in your time?

[-]

ReviewEnvironmental2@reddit

3-4 a year. Typically Christmas, Easter, and birthdays.

Which, incidentally, is also a perfect description of my sex life.

[-]

KittyGrewAMoustache@reddit

This makes it sound as though the way you eat Colin is what gets your other half going.

[-]

fairysdad@reddit

Colin gets eaten, I get eaten. Score.

[-]

DolphinRapeCave@reddit

That's probably because you're starting with the bum.

[-]

Sir-Craven@reddit

Thats your CPA what is the age factor to give you total lifetime consumption?

[-]

BasisOk4268@reddit

The idea of eating Colin from the back is news to me

[-]

Sister_Ray_@reddit

a colinoscopy, if you will

[-]

ReviewEnvironmental2@reddit

Brilliant

[-]

bsnimunf@reddit

Kids argue over the face. I prefer milk chocolate to white so I'm a butt man.

[-]

Azigol@reddit

Colin's a slut

[-]

AvocadosAtLaw95@reddit

I’d also like to add (although not really relevant in this case) is that if it’s used as a birthday cake, whoever’s birthday it is gets the face 😁 - at least that’s the etiquette in my family!

[-]

ReviewEnvironmental2@reddit

Ooh yes that goes without saying!

[-]

Arbaces@reddit

Always start at the bum end.

You never know where in life you're going to find such succinctly profound life tips.

[-]

buttnuggetmaster@reddit

The Messi of eating Colin the caterpillars right here.

[-]

FrostySquirrel820@reddit

I just can’t imagine Colin surviving more than a single day if it’s anywhere near me.

I might need a pint of milk to eat it in a single sitting though.

[-]

GreenMist1980@reddit

This is possibly one of the easier cakes to bogtrotter

[-]

wintsykia@reddit

Yes. Just make sure you start with the face so he’s not watching you do it.

[-]

Fujimagicblog@reddit

This is the best Reddit thread I have read!

[-]

luala@reddit

They do mini ones.

[-]

uniguy31@reddit

On my last day of work in an old job, I did it in 59 minutes and 30 seconds. Colleagues and I had a bet I could do it. Was early sick though

[-]

Alyssa9876@reddit

My daughter loves the mini Colin rolls they do as a snack. Like baby Colin’s lol

[-]

old_witness_987@reddit

go into soho , there are a few epic cake shops there.

[-]

IrishBA@reddit

why would one not eat a full Colin, that's the real question

[-]

miowiamagrapegod@reddit

I have done

[-]

jaBroniest@reddit

I've done it in work whilst I was depressed, 😂😭

[-]

MassiveApples@reddit

Soooo, I've been having a whale of a time in the comments and feeling oddly BRITISH for probably the first time in my life, but one question still haunts me;

OP? How big do you think a Colin The Caterpillar Cake IS?

[-]

stowgood@reddit

Easily, not sure you'd want to eat the whole thing but it would be easily done.

[-]

patchworkcat12@reddit

Looking at your history you are in the US, they are not big in comparison to US food sizes if my knowledge serves me right.

[-]

brit_parent@reddit

I mean, over a few days? Absolutely. If I only had an hour? A pack of the mini ones would be easier. They could disappear nicely with a cup of coffee.

(Personally, I find them a bit dry so I like it with a drink.)

[-]

TrackNinetyOne@reddit

I've done it in a few hours and I'll happily do it again

I prefer it out of the fridge personally as the sponge and smarties are softer, but I do like the crack you get from the chocolate shell refrigerated

[-]

Amazing-Visual-2919@reddit

It's a lot of cake. I'm sure you could finish it but it's probably going to be a chore by the end.

I'd get these instead.

5 Mini Colin the Caterpillar Cakes https://www.marksandspencer.com/food/5-mini-colin-the-caterpillar-cakes/p/fdp21030209

[-]

aliaaenor@reddit

Yes. But they also do mini ones.

[-]

BlendinMediaCorp@reddit

As a foreigner, in a foreign land that I now call home, I can attest that a Colin is a small cake by party standards. If you’re familiar with the Cheesecake Factory cakes, I’d say it’s about 2 of those slices (mid 2000s sizing, I don’t know what shrinkflation’s done post Covid).

So, doable over a week for sure, especially if you have a night out and come home after a lot of pints and decide to down half a Colin in one go. Not the healthiest choice obviously but hey, travel is broadening in many ways.

[-]

Difficult_Tea6136@reddit

Doable over a week? Its doable over a few cups of tea and something decent to watch. I'd easily polish one off but would I enjoy it all? No.

[-]

BlendinMediaCorp@reddit

But would you feel proud that you did it? Also no 😂

[-]

MassiveApples@reddit

EASY!!!! Have a couple of cups of tea as you go and he'll slip down a treat!

[-]

Braylien@reddit

Is this conversation for real?

[-]

bee-sting@reddit

i know people who'd complain they were full after a handful of grapes. so yes unfortunately i think it's real

[-]

Braylien@reddit

Hahaha, that’s actually not what I’m surprised at. The whole conversation just seems a bit surreal.

[-]

cybertonto72@reddit

A pot of tea and that things gone in 15mins

[-]

Dull_Hawk9416@reddit

Never keep cake or any bread in the fridge. Dries it out. You’re welcome

[-]

Chidoribraindev@reddit

This must be what Japanese people feel like when we make videos about eating train station Bento.

OP, you can eat a whole cake but if don't run a 10k after

[-]

Leather-Shoulder-674@reddit

In park cakes bakery Oldham they have a shop that sells the fuck ups and you can get two Collins for about 2 quid or a massive bag of mini Collins for a similar price

[-]

easyjet@reddit

The gluten free one from M&S is the best of the lot. The Tesco ones etc I find are too dry.

[-]

catzrob89@reddit

I can tell you for sure that it can be eaten at a sitting. Not without regrets but it can be done.

[-]

Fruitbat100@reddit

M and S have brought out mini colins in their meal deal section! Maybe give one of them a go to see if you like it first :)

[-]

zephyrmox@reddit

Surprised to find out the whole thing is only 2800kcal. If I'd done a 30k run or something I imagine I could get through it that day.

[-]

CarpetPedals@reddit

The answer is yes, but more importantly, the Co-Op version of the Colin the Caterpillar is the much better cake.

[-]

uggyy@reddit

One sitting I could.

Not proud but sadly I would make it

[-]

Possible_Chipmunk_95@reddit

I'm pretty sure you can get packs of small ones

[-]

ross-dirext-words137@reddit

I mean there is a wide range of sizes of this cake

[-]

Mean-Construction207@reddit

They do mini roll versions as well which are a bit more bite-sized.

Even at 300lbs I never managed to eat a whole one, it's super rich and chocolatey.

Having said that, if it's on your bucket list there's no reason not to try. I believe in you.

[-]

UniquePotato@reddit

I wouldn’t bother, its just cake.

[-]

SwordTaster@reddit

Easily. I have done so before. I used to get them as my birthday cake until teaco started adding weird fruity gummy things and changed his face from chocolate to fondant. Dad didn't like chocolate cake like that and mum never wanted to share with me, so I'd eat him solo over the course of a week because I was forced to limit myself somewhat

[-]

Violet351@reddit

There’s a scene in the last season of Slow horses where Gary Oldman is seen eating a Colin the caterpillar cake. He ate 1.5 of them and then had a bit of a funny turn due to all that sugar (Gary Oldman thought is was pep food which has less sugar)

[-]

ManIsready@reddit

Give me a good gram or two of good Weed and that's easy

[-]

Haunting_Cell_8876@reddit

Challenge accepted.

[-]

ImpressionOdd4801@reddit

I’ll take the face

[-]

lavender_cookie_@reddit

You can get the mini ones, might be a bit easier and less faff? 🤭

[-]

Wooks81@reddit

Thus says a lot about me I thought pint of double cream a long day no bother…..

A few days….mate you’re fine!! 😂😂

[-]

bambatigerlilly@reddit

In today’s world of war, conflict and division - this is the perfect question! Thank you made me smile…and I am not sure, I’ve certainly tried my best!

[-]

burudoragon@reddit

The answer is yes, in 1 day. Source: me

[-]

Elegant_Law_6463@reddit

I hate to say but Colin was last in the taste testing that was recently done. At the top was Cecil from Waitrose. Charlie from the co-op was next then I think it was sainsburys and Aldi, I can't remember the other.

I bought Cecil for my son's birthday and it was lovely, everyone enjoyed it.

[-]

b3an3r1998@reddit

Could eat whole one right now

[-]

noggerthefriendo@reddit

It’s not a could question it’s a should question

[-]

Crazy_Breakfast_6327@reddit

I have done it over a couple of hours but it was a bit sickly.

[-]

Educational_Try_6105@reddit

eat it on the train

[-]

yearsofpractice@reddit

This is clearly the beginning of a supervillain origin story.

Fellow train passengers watched in interest, then awe, then horror as a mysterious passenger demolished an entire Colin The Caterpillar during a journey from Stoke On Trent to Basingstoke. Onlookers describe an increasingly maniacal look in the passenger’s eye as he began addressing himself as “Colin, Destroyer Of Cakes”

[-]

Majestic_Swordfish83@reddit

It is physically possible, but I used to have a mate that would come to dinner pudding once a week and always brought a colin cake...

Can't even look at them now I'm so colined out.

[-]

Ok-Recognition-3832@reddit

Don’t temp me to a good time

[-]

Klakson_95@reddit

They also do mini ones!

[-]

CJ_waytoomanyas_y@reddit

Absolutely not, that shit cake is so dry that you'd fatally dehydrate!

[-]

Conveth@reddit

If you buy it at the M&S in Edinburgh, get the LNER or lumo train to London and wash it down with 4 lagers then I'd assume you'd be able to trough the lot by Peterborough...I could, but I'd need a rest afterwards!

[-]

MxJamesC@reddit

I could eat 1.4

[-]

DownrightDrewski@reddit

Yes, a very fat/greedy person could - normal people no.

I don't think I could manage it and I'm both fat and greedy.

[-]

CJBill@reddit

Who are you calling fat?!

[-]

robwadd@reddit

And greedy

[-]

CJBill@reddit

I'll take that one on the chins

[-]

heyitsed2@reddit

Greed is relative!

[-]

-info-sec-@reddit

Gotta eat the face and feet first.. the rest is just sponge... You've got this

[-]

AwkwardTie9427@reddit

Eat him quick, before he becomes a butterfly!

[-]

Queefmaster69000@reddit

You, out in the big city, smashing in a full Colin the Caterpillar on your own?

You've hit the big time and I'm happy for you.

It could be done in in one day, for some of us, so 2 or 3 days is fine. Keep it covered up so it's not dry by day 3.

[-]

SeaIntelligent4504@reddit

Yes, but if you are travelling solo, take the opportunity to make friends by sharing it with people you meet.

[-]

Prestigious_Key_7801@reddit

I could do that over the course ofxa couple of hours. I have a sweet tooth particularly for cake and now im an adult have to stop myself from buying cakes all the time.

[-]

pachyderm66@reddit

Yes, it is possible: "Slow Horses", Series 5 Episode 1 - Jackson Lamb does this very thing. Beware imposters - There are many copies; the original can only be found at Marks&Spencer shops...

[-]

EnglishWolverine@reddit

Easily. I’ve done it before.

Probably part of the reason I’m now diabetic…. But it can be done.

[-]

CptDerpDerp@reddit

Oooo time to tell my family’s Walls Vienetta story…

So, in the 80s my uncle used to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was a renowned bodybuilding competitor, and ate like it. One day in the 90s at a family barbecue there was a Walls Viennetta for dessert. My uncle jokes ‘that one is for me, is it?’ And it so happens there was a second one in the freezer because they were on offer. So my dad decides it would be funny to watch, so let’s uncle eat the first one whilst about 6 other people share the other.

Once he finishes the first to everyone’s astonishment, uncle proudly proclaims he could eat a second just as easily. My dad scrambles some change together and runs down to the off license, coming home with another. Uncle proudly eats it. He’s already had his usual 4 hot dogs and 3 burgers before all this by the way.

Having an extremely competitive streak combined with being the class clown, uncle proclaims he could keep going. Dad remembers there were originally two in the freezer at the off license, so he runs back and buys the other. Mr Pathak is now thoroughly confused at this sweaty man running into his shop in a Walls Viennetta emergency.

Uncle eats a the third one. Visibly struggling, he proclaims he could keep going if he had to, but alas, the entire postcode is now out of Walls Vienetta.

So a Colin the caterpillar? If you told a gym bro it had protein in, they’d probably have 3 in a sitting.

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KittyGrewAMoustache@reddit

Does a Vienetta have much protein? Anyway this was a great story thanks. I hope your uncle didn’t vomit after!

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raccoon-overlord@reddit

I'm not going to say that I know from experience but yes you can

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No_Art_1977@reddit

They do mini ones

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CallumJenkins184@reddit

Had a £5 bet with a mate in uni that I could eat an entire one in under 25 minutes.

Did it, but not worth it

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peppermint_aero@reddit

You can if you believe in yourself

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Lunaspoona@reddit

Takes a few days. If you don't want a whole one, I highly recommend the cupcake versions! Not the minis - the cake ratio is off, but the cupcakes are amazing.

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whooptheretis@reddit

You can get them all across the UK in your local M&S, it's not just speciic to London.

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tobotic@reddit

My assumption is that OP is travelling to London from abroad, so doesn't have a local M&S.

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Albertenberger@reddit

Dont forget to eat the face last so that you consume its soul and absorb its power.

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tobotic@reddit

Dont forget to eat the face last so that you consume its soul and absorb its power.

Wouldn't you want to absorb the power right at the start so you can use Colin's own power to consume the rest of him?

(I read a book once that proved caterpillars have a huge appetite.)

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anoamas321@reddit

I could(in one go), doesnt mean I should......

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cockatilla87@reddit

You can buy little Colin's.

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Boring_Swing_4750@reddit

I mean ive trained for this over many years. ..yes i can eat a whole on in a day if i put my mind to it. And the face is MINE lol

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uncertain_expert@reddit

The question isn’t whether it is possible, the question is, which end do you start from? Do you start with his smily face or leave that till last?

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KittyGrewAMoustache@reddit

You start with the feet so he can’t run away.

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ParticularSuite@reddit

"if it's your birthday, you get the head"

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TheMonkeyInCharge@reddit

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ParticularSuite@reddit

https://www.tiktok.com/@forth1official/video/7623503053144083745

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DanS1993@reddit

Depends do you want to give him a quick execution or do you prefer your prey to suffer…

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Either_Custard_7438@reddit

Yes! Definitely doable as a sit down meal! Might need a glass of Cherryade to help wash down the icing

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OldLondon@reddit

Tizer for the win

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oneletter2shor@reddit

Christ you must be as old as me. I mentioned tizer the other day and my niece (20+ years younger) looked at me blank.

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TwiggyPom@reddit

Can't you still get Tizer?

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Outraged_Chihuahua@reddit

In B&M you can! Results may vary depending on your B&M, but mine has it semi-regularly.

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OldLondon@reddit

No way… brb

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Either_Custard_7438@reddit

B&M is a bloody gem of a store!

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Outraged_Chihuahua@reddit

I live in a city with a lot of them, they can be very hit and miss I've found. The couple near me are great, but the ones by where I used to live are shocking. In my experience, they're usually better if they have a garden centre.

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Either_Custard_7438@reddit

Yeah agree, the garden centre one near me is awesome. Some of the random tinned food is epic!

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CelebrationSimilar11@reddit

My corner store sells Tizer but other than that I haven't seen it sold anywhere else in a while.

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TheRegularBelt@reddit

Haven’t seen one in ages.

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thedudeabides-12@reddit

Lilt..

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dannyboomhead@reddit

Quattro

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CelebrationSimilar11@reddit

I’d hate to be your dentist.

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LahmiaTheVampire@reddit

You think he has a dentist?

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TheMonkeyInCharge@reddit

You think they have teeth?!

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Bounci3@reddit

You think shes a he?

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HoraceorDoris@reddit

I’d LOVE to be their dentist! 🤑💰💰💰

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RepublicWarm2383@reddit

I believe the half-life of a Colin is about 50 years so no need for refrigeration

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namegame62@reddit

... buy a mini one.

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vipros42@reddit

Some friends left one on a shelf after a party, uncovered, unrefrigerated for months and months and it remained entirely unchanged over that time.

Do yourself a favour and try some actual good food instead.

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en91n33r@reddit

How boring

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PyroDragn@reddit

If you did it over the course of a week I think you'd be pretty okay. It'd just be a slice of cake after dinner - not a big deal.

Shorter timeframes just increases the cake-per-day a bit. 5 days or more is manageable (a bit too much cake, but not sickening).

4 days or fewer you get into 'make yourself sick of cake'. Depends on your personal habits/tastes.

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BiscuitKid87@reddit

Happy to say I have successfully eaten a whole Colin The Caterpillar before just minus the feet and face as I don't like white chocolate, yes I'm a greedy guy haha

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HalfAgony-HalfHope@reddit

Yeah, but I mean, they're fine. Good for parties but its a novelty and British staple. But fair warning though, they're not amazing cakes. Just a standard bit of sponge.

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Kizzieuk@reddit

Are they only sold in London? I thought you could get them anywhere.

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orangecloud_0@reddit

Limits are only what you set yourself 🙏🏻

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ForwardImagination71@reddit

Anyone can eat anything once...

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Jollyramb1er@reddit

It's doable over a few days. But they also do mini versions of the same thing in packs of 6. Make sure you get the Marks and Spencer one. They also do Colin cookies and Colin smashed cake jars. All are phenomenal. See if you can extend your visit, I think is what I'm saying.

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Khaleesix87@reddit

I do think they do smaller mini roll sized ones as well I don’t think you have to get a big one if you don’t want to

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Desmo_UK@reddit

A few days? I could do one in one sitting if I had to.

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Wise-Independence487@reddit

Absolutely but m&s do a whole range now so you can get individuals

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Evening-Situation-38@reddit

How old are you?

While it can be done if you are no longer young you might find yourself becoming incredibly regretful of your decision when the acid reflux and nausea hit.

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NetRelative3930@reddit

In theory yes However it’s more sensible to buy the packs of 6 small individual Colin’s and or Connie’s then you can snack as you go around the city etc

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BaBaFiCo@reddit

One Colin is 3000 calories. You could eat that easily.

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SpamJavelin00@reddit

With a brew to wash it down, it’s a snack !!

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SpamJavelin00@reddit

It’s only a chocolate cake with some smartie declarations !! Don’t expect a taste sensation . PS go to aldi their is just as good and half the price . I could eat one whole , I’ve had to stop gluttony as I was getting chubby , but as a challenge - yes easily

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spinningdice@reddit

I mean, easily. Whether you should is probably another thing.

Apparently Colin's came out among the worst of the various Colin-clones out there though.

Larva lamped: Colin the Caterpillar loses to eight lookalikes in cake taste test | Food & drink industry | The Guardian

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Additional-Help-1750@reddit

What, like it's hard?

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FantasticVast01@reddit

My son's "friend" , aged 11, ate one all by himself in about 20 mins.

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Capable-Detective-69@reddit

so did my "friend"

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Final_Flounder9849@reddit

There are three sizes, mini, standard and massive. The mini ones you could easily polish off a whole pack in one sitting. The standard might need a break for a cuppa but is just about doable solo I’d say. The massive one I doubt you could finish by yourself but I’d applaud your trying.

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Alert_Mine7067@reddit

That's how they're supposed to be eaten, although the NHS covers diabetes and cardiac conditions, so maybe the reality is a bit skewed.

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Yorkshirerows@reddit

in theory could one, dedicated individual polish

Polish, German, Lithuanian. I don't think nationality matters, as long as you believe in yourself and don't have diabetes!

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Wires1996@reddit

Who is stopping you from achieving your goals. You eat what ever amount you want. And I would recommend putting it in the fridge

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ImFamousYoghurt@reddit

Yea you could if dedicated and it didn’t need to go in the fridge, however you could just get the mini version instead

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broadarrow39@reddit

Apparently Gary Oldman demolished an entire Tesco slinky caterpillar cake while filming a scene for season 5 of Slow Horses

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BriefStrange6452@reddit

Of course, but it wouldn't be good for you.

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Banes_Addiction@reddit

It'd be worse for Colin.

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BriefStrange6452@reddit

Very true!

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Palealedad@reddit

I could.

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dmginc@reddit

Yes but you might forget your lines like Gary Oldman did

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hussar9t1@reddit

Do it, for science.

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signol_@reddit

You need to go to all of the major supermarkets (starting with M&S, and Aldi) and compare all of the caterpillar cakes..

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filbert94@reddit

Haha mate I think the entire population of the UK could smash one in an afternoon. Maybe 30 mins if it's their birthday.

Or their kid's birthday. Much too good for children.

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LemmysCodPiece@reddit

They do mini ones.

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Orsenfelt@reddit

Pretty sure I could scran one out the box like a baguette on the walk from M&S to the train.

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MattHatter1337@reddit

The real questions.

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cuccir@reddit

It's just shy of 3000 calories. So for an average man on active day, it's all your daily intake in one sitting. It's a big amount, but not crazy.

Have a small breakfast, plan a lot of walking or a morning run, and then sit down over lunch and you can probably polish it off without wanting to eat again for the rest of the day.

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SavageRabbitX@reddit

Yes i have done. I didn't feel great afterwards

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limelee666@reddit

Yes, do refrigerate though.

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extreme-ironing888@reddit

The greatest question ever asked on Reddit!

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DrWkk@reddit

It doesn’t need to be refrigerated but it does need stable low temperature, so in a kitchen cupboard is fine. But in and out of a car and on and off a sunny kitchen bench would be asking for trouble. All foods spoil over time.

I think you could easily eat half one day and half the next. I can have quite a sweet tooth but I don’t think I could eat it in one sitting.

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Electrical_Business2@reddit

A dedicated individual, easy😁 where are you travelling from? Colin is great and all but we have much better😁

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Purrtymeow04@reddit

Buy a cake from an independent coffee shop, tastes way better than commercialized grocery shop cakes with full of preservatives

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Purrtymeow04@reddit

You will be disappointed lol

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AdvanceAlive2103@reddit

Never change, England…never change

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frankensteinsmaster@reddit

Share it on the train/plane/boat!

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Horror-Back6203@reddit

It can be eaten in one sitting

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hokkuhokku@reddit

Over a few days? Absolutely! In one sitting? Only if you do so at the gates of Buckingham Palace and salute the nearest guard upon completion.

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Bombadombaway@reddit

Cecil cake is where it’s at if you want the best version of the caterpillar cake. (Waitrose)

Colin is very dry and disappointing, save for the chocolate!

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Smoothest-of-Gooches@reddit

I can confirm it’s possible during 1 Super Bowl viewing

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dcute69@reddit

I could eat a whole one in one sitting. I can't imagine anyone couldn't do it over a few days

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Old_Shake3789@reddit

You couldn't pay me to touch one you should see the state of the place their made!

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Ok_Requirement_7489@reddit

Are you the sort of person who could eat an entire chocolate cake yourself? If so yes! If not no! I absolutely could not and would be violently ill but my partner probably could! You can also get mini ones which are fairly similar.

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Gauntlets28@reddit

I think you'd probably feel quite sick by the end of it. You can get mini versions of Colin from M&S, so you'd probably be a lot better off getting those!

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PrinceFan72@reddit

So occupied to see if you could, hasn't stopped to think if you should. Wise words from Jeff, there.

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saffy126@reddit

Face and ass, leave the rest.

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Hopeful_chap@reddit

But what about the caterpillar cakr?

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ukrepman@reddit

Somebody has done something similar

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dinkidoo7693@reddit

Totally do able.

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courage_the_dog@reddit

Eat a hole colin caterpillar believe it or not straight to jail

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Cloudinthesilver@reddit

Yes you can.

But there’s minis. And then a whole range of Colin and Percy sweets.

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CrimsonKaiserRyu@reddit

They make chocolate bar sized Colins too. However one person could definitely manage an entire full sized Colin with a wee bowl of ice cream and jelly on the side.

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BrieflyVerbose@reddit

A few days?

Rookie.

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No_Chemist2922@reddit

Lol thanks for the post OP, never heard of Colin the caterpillar till now

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palpatineforever@reddit

yes, standard colin cake feeds 10 people, but that is normal sized servings, you can easily make 5 double sized, also if you had it as two snacks a day 3 or 4 days is easy, that said you dont "have" to completely finish it, but you could get a good way through in a few days enough that you got your moneys worth.
Nop they do not need refrigerating, in fact it will dry out more if you do.

Personally I think they are awful, but go for it!

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sleepyprojectionist@reddit

Colin is so full of preservatives that I’m pretty sure that you could leave him at room temperature and he would still be edible come the heat death of the universe.

If you are open to exploring many different caterpillars there was a Which! Magazine poll just this month ranking Colin against his many copycats. Unfortunately Colin came flat last. Apparently Cecil the Waitrose caterpillar fares the best. Here’s an article about it.

If you believe in yourself I think you could eat a Colin in one sitting. Over a few days shouldn’t be an issue.

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PaleConference406@reddit

Sure. Probably. Maybe. In any case, it won't be the worst case the coroner will see that day.

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Specialeyes9000@reddit

I think I did the whole thing except the face once

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PM_ME_BEEF_CURTAINS@reddit

I have, and I'd do it again

Also, there's a place that deep fries them if you want to level up your Colin consumption

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mizcello@reddit

They sometimes have half colins for like valentines/easter etc, so depending if theres a theme in store, they might have a smaller one. But yes, totally do-able.

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LaidBackLeopard@reddit

2800 calories. Over a few days? Easy.

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malak1000@reddit

I don’t think you could get it to last a few days, no.

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yellowsapphire88@reddit

Over the course of a few days, definitely.

(Prepare to probably do it in one sitting though 👀)

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Front_Pepper_360@reddit

You can get mini ones. Game changer

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PlatypusFragrant2692@reddit

You can buy a pack of 6 mini Colin’s , finishing a full size is doable … more as a meal than a snack

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Swansboy@reddit

Yes but not in one day.

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Mickleborough@reddit

The comments are most interesting! Now to look for a Colin the Caterpillar cake.

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Old_Quit_851@reddit

The real question is could you eat two?

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Pedantichrist@reddit

Very easily.

I do not want to, but it would not be a difficult challenge.

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