What’s the smoothest way to greet?
Posted by ParticularWeb9328@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 118 comments
So I recently moved here and get confused when I greet people and ask “how are you” or how you doing” and the answer is “whats up bro” or something.
In this case, do I just repeat “what’s up”?
I asked chat gpt and it said I should say “Good, and you?” but i couldn’t tell if my chat gpt is lying.
and also, when i say “how are you”at like checkout sometimes peple answers with “How are you” does this work across america? or am i doing something wrong?
I would also really appreciate if you tell me ur go-to approach for greetings
DuelJ@reddit
Once you've given two generic greeting like that, you can move on to asking/saying what you want.
hey, how's it going?
going alright
That's good to hear, did you that basketball game last night?
Euphoric_Ease4554@reddit
Just say. Hey.
Innuendo64_@reddit
Responding to a "how are you" with another "how are you" or something equivalent is normal. It's more of a greeting than an actual question so most people aren't even expecting a genuine answer
SparklyLeo_@reddit
I mean sure but it’s “good, how are you” not just “how are you”.
JackYoMeme@reddit
I respond to "how ya doin" with "how ya doin" all the time.
Mean-Concentrate-257@reddit
I do this. "How you doing" basically means hi. If no one is giving a real answer anyway, and everyone's polite, it really doesn't sound weird to respond that way and then move into the actual conversation.
SparklyLeo_@reddit
I’ve never heard anybody say that and it sounds very awkward like the person below said as well but if that’s how you respond, that how you respond.
JackYoMeme@reddit
I'm not the biggest fan of small talk
youmeanNOOkyuhler@reddit
Thank you for saying this!! It's going to sound a little awkward otherwise. OP:
"Hey, what's up?"
"Not much! And you?"
Or
"How are you?"
"I'm good! And you?"
Memorize these two replies and you really can't go wrong
djfilms@reddit
“So far so good. you?”
enemydarksock@reddit
“How’s it going?” “Hey what’s up?” With no actual response to how anyone is doing is like the standard greeting amongst my friends. As someone who struggles with social cues I usually say I’m good anyways (because it feels rude/dismissive to ignore the question?) and ask something similar back lol
ParticularWeb9328@reddit (OP)
Interesting. So after the “how are you” greeting ends?
PurrfectlyNerdy@reddit
Sometimes depending on the flow, yes it can effectively end if you both ask each ‘how are you’.
My personal style of communication is always to respond though with a quick “I’m good”. Sometimes if I feel like they want to continue the introduction/small talk I’ll ask ‘how are you back to them’.
Instead of simply saying ‘hi’ or ‘hello’, how are you is treated as a greeting. The AI was a little overly formal saying to respond ‘and you’ from my perspective but that’s not wrong.
If you have an obvious accent/not from the US most people will be willing to communicate with you regardless of the greeting you choose.
EntrepreneurNo4138@reddit
After they say just say “I’m fine today thank you.” Usually you will encounter this a lot just doing daily things from people being polite.
Innuendo64_@reddit
Usually yeah. If someone wants to know how you're doing for real, they'll ask it after the greeting and when the conversation has been established; theyll say something more like "how have things been for you lately"?
SplitOpenAndMelt420@reddit
Yah this exactly
smorones@reddit
First step: don’t use ChatGPT
Carnelianrubberduck@reddit
Good and you is a fine response, or i’m doing well, how about you
ParticularWeb9328@reddit (OP)
so is it gonna go like “how are you?” and they say “whats up bro” and im like “ good and you?” and they are like “good? Tbh i find greeting the most difficult part in english 😂
Sassifrassically@reddit
When they say “what’s up” the answer can vary… “the sky” is a solid response,, “The ceiling” can also work. Personally i like to take a glance up and Taylor my response to what’s actually above me.
JackYoMeme@reddit
In this situation "how are you" with the response "what's up bro" doesn't really need a response or at least not a small talk response. The greeting can end right then and there. If you want to continue the conversation, cut to the chase and tell them what is up. If the conversation started "what's up bro" a typical response can be "not much, what's up with you". Responding "good" to "what's up" doesn't really make sense. But, especially with a person with an accent, it works. "What's up" ..."good, you" it's awkward, but to most people who have met a non English speaker before, you both just effectively greeted each other.
EntrepreneurNo4138@reddit
What’s up bro is less formal. You could say “not much man” and leave it at that.
RightYouAreKen1@reddit
The correct response to "what's up bro?" is "sup dawg".
Fire_Mission@reddit
Or just "hey"
Outrageous-Pin-4664@reddit
Or just "It's all right." (Pronounced: "s'a'ight.")
In a very informal context he could also say, "Same shit, different day, man.")
G00dSh0tJans0n@reddit
Or "the price of gas" is a good response too
Special-Reindeer-178@reddit
The most important thing to understand, is that the person asking in passing doesnt actually want to know whats up, or care about how you are. You say "nothing much" or "im good, you?"
Even if its a lie
Tommy_Wisseau_burner@reddit
Just say “what’s poppin”
jackaroo1344@reddit
You don't have to re-ask them how they are, in that context 'good and you' would be kinda awkward and repetitive. It's also pretty formal, so I wouldn't use it with people I am close to. Maybe with my boss's boss, or a stranger.
In your example you already asked them how they are, so just respond to 'what's up' with an answer. Like, I usually say 'I'm doing alright' and then some comment that makes small talk (assuming you want the conversation to continue and you aren't just greeting eachother in passing). 'I'm doing alright, how have your classes been going', 'I'm ok, I have a huge final exam this week that's killing me though'. This moves the conversation forward.
If they greet you first with 'what's up', it's not repetitive to ask them back how they are. Just say 'I'm awesome bro, what's up with you', 'I'm great, how've you been', etc
viola1356@reddit
As a native English speaker, I went through an awkward teen phase where I responded to what's up with whatever was literally above us (the sky, the ceiling). I do not recommend this, it's pretty cringe, just wanted to share so you know that greetings can be kind of weird and uncomfortable. I consciously think about my greetings most interactions, they just don't flow naturally.
SaltMarshGoblin@reddit
"East cross North in vector addition!"
VirtualTotal8468@reddit
“A preposition” is another painful joke response I’ve heard a lot and occasionally used myself.
officerboba@reddit
It’s fine most people know that if the vibe ain’t vibing then you can’t force it
DharmaCub@reddit
You wouldn't ask how they are twice. If you say how are you and they say whatsup, that's the end of the greeting. It's a call and response.
If they initiate with how are you, then good and you? is an adequate response.
If they say what's up, the answer is either not much, you? Or just return the whatsup.
MomThinksImHandsome@reddit
Pretty much. The standard answer to "what's up bro" is "not much, you?"
This is assuming mostly casual acquaintances. It's less of a real question and just a casual greeting. The more you know somebody the more it might be an actual question
wheninrome5000@reddit
I the confusion is this (I had it to). You are allowed to answer a question with another Q and just leave it there
eg :
A: Hey what's up
B: How's it going?
A: So hey I was wondering what you [normal.conversatiom starts]
Weekly_March@reddit
Sup
JackYoMeme@reddit
Even though it doesn't make sense a decent response to "how are ya" can be "hi". They might not actually care how you are doing. If you don't care how they are doing, they probably don't care how you're doing. If you do care though, respond "fine how are you" or if you want to be more honest, "kinda tired honestly" or "I'm hungry". Don't respond with deeper feelings like lonely, homesick or depressed. Also don't respond with overly good news like "awesome, I just had sex" or "awesome I was just promoted at work.
HyperXanadu@reddit
"I'm doing great today, what about yourself?" The 'what' throws people for a LOOP because it sounds like you are really curious. Makes people happier, I've noticed.
brokensharts@reddit
"Whats up negro"
jigokubi@reddit
This is obviously the correct answer, but if you want to mix it up a little, throw on an English accent and say, "You alright, mate?"
EntrepreneurNo4138@reddit
Stop it! 🤦♀️🤣
brokensharts@reddit
Not a single minority on the jobiste either 😁
EntrepreneurNo4138@reddit
Do NOT USE THIS. You might offend them OP.
jigokubi@reddit
Whatever you do, don't go with, "What's the good word?"
OldRaj@reddit
I say, “Greetings!” and it always gets a pleasant response.
milliemargo@reddit
Depends on the context. If I'm walking past someone on the street and they say "how are you" i might just say "hey how's it going" and nobody ever stops walking haha
If someone asks me like a cashier I'll say "pretty good, how bout you?"
If it's an acquaintance I might be a bit more honest and just say some kind of anecdote. "Doing alright, (traffic/weather,) how are you?"
If it's a good friend I'll just be honest. "Man I've been doing pretty good, (a few things that I've been doing,) what have you been up to?"
devnullopinions@reddit
It’s worth recognizing that Americans are generally expecting you to pretty much always say something like “I am well, how are you?” regardless of how you actually are.
If you did answer in a different way or went into details it wouldn’t be violating any cultural norm but it’s not the expected response. Basically, I wouldn’t worry too much about it because other than ignoring the person greeting you there’s little you could do to fuck up the greeting.
Impulse2915@reddit
This doesn't make sense to me.
If someone says "How are you?", "What's up, bro" isn't the correct response. Correct response is something like, "Fine," "Ok," "Good," with a reciprocal, "How are you?"
Additionally, for most of the time it isn't really an invitation to actually tell them how you are doing/feeling. People are asking because it is polite, but it is equally polite to not give them a lengthy answer in response.
"What's up, bro?" Is an informal way of asking "how are you" but has different rules because it can take the place of the initial greeting. Correct response in this case would be "Not much, you?" or "Hey, what's up?"
sean8877@reddit
Just keep saying "what's up" to each other back and forth until someone gets sick of it and walks away.
Sufficient_Cod1948@reddit
Say "Heeeey! What's crack-a-lackin?"
You can add finger guns you're feeling spicy.
ParticularWeb9328@reddit (OP)
Sounds like a fun way to spice it up lol but how do uou respond to that?😂
Bluemonogi@reddit
Just say I’m fine or good or something like that and ask how they are. People aren’t really listening. It is just a greeting ritual.
No_Entertainment1931@reddit
The most appropriate way is to answer in a complete and full manner ignoring any considerations for brevity or decorum.
Yes, tell them all your troubles.
Welcome to the us.
Bn- do the opposite of the above and you’ll get along fine.
Lucky_Ad2801@reddit
I don't ask "how are you?" unless I actually want to know how someone is.. It's not it's something i would use with strangers or cashiers. Is perfectly fine to just greet someone with "hi", "hey".
Intelligent_Pop1173@reddit
They’re just greetings with usually no real expectation of an answer. I’ve mistakenly answered “good” after someone really loudly surprised me with “WHAT’S GOING ON?!!!” because it just caught me really off guard.
Tea_Eighteen@reddit
In response to “how are you@ You can never answer with a negative.
“Great” = actually going well but you may be asked to elaborate cause a response of great is rare and might invoke curiosity.
“Good” = can be actually good or bad
“Fine” = the catch all. Can be good or terrible. It’s the standard answer
“Alright” = things are super bad but you can’t tell anyone it’s bad cause you’ll bring them down too.
djfilms@reddit
I say “howdy” which is a contraction of “how are you” but in a more fun way.
Grand_Raccoon0923@reddit
Sup
Tommy_Wisseau_burner@reddit
Im good/not much/hey/what’s up (sup)/what’s good… literally anything
pack_merrr@reddit
Yeah you can usually say "good, and you?", that woudnt really be weird. I do think it is worth mentioning "What's up?" can be used a few different ways. It can be a question, similar to asking "How are you?", that's when saying you're good in response would make the most sense, but I think that is probably one of the less common ways you will hear people use it.
Sometimes people say "What's up" as just as a casual greeting or way to say "hello". It might not be an actual question. You might see someone use it as a way to acknowledge someone they know, maybe in a public place or in passing, even if they don't have time to talk. So it can also be normal for someone to say "What's up" and then that's the end of the conversation.
I think another relatively common way it gets used is as an acknowledgement that someone is asking you a question, saying "What's up" in that way can be like saying "Hey, what did you need from me?". If you approach an employee at a store with a question, they might say "What's up" once you get their attention for example.
You'll obviously need to read the context to understand exactly what it means, I haven't thought about that a whole lot but I can see how it might get confusing if English wasn't your first language. If you just want a general rule though, I think it's probably best to just think of it as a casual greeting and that'll probably work 99% of the time, you're usually not obligated to tell someone what is actually "up" lol. Other languages do that too I think. It kind of reminds me of how "Nǐ chī fàn le ma" (literally "have you eaten?"), is used in Chinese as a kind of friendly greeting rather than a genuine question about food(but also kind of different, since you'd usually wanna respond saying something like "I have eaten, you?" in Chinese even though it's not really about food. I'm sure someone with a better understanding of Chinese could probably explain that better but that's probably for a different sub lol)
Clean-Turnip5971@reddit
"Not much" or "Hanging in there".
Wilahelm_Wulfreyn@reddit
"Fair to middling"
Clean-Turnip5971@reddit
"Finer'n frog hair." But I'm rarely doing that good.
river-running@reddit
"The horrors persist, but so do I".
ThePickleConnoisseur@reddit
Or “Living the Dream”
Warm-Spare-5800@reddit
Also “same ole shit different day”
MyWorserJudgement@reddit
Or "same old, same old"
Or "Living the, um, recurring dream" ;)
PresentationFluffy24@reddit
I'm still breathing. It's a good day to be alive.
Responsible-Care-388@reddit
Or “another day in paradise”
LetterheadClassic306@reddit
i ran into this when i first moved regions in the us too. when someone says 'whats up bro' back to you, they're just returning the greeting not actually answering. just say 'whats up' back or nod and say 'hey'. at checkout, 'how are you' from the cashier is automatic - they don't expect an answer. just say 'good, you?' and keep moving. chatgpt was actually right on that one. my go to is 'hey how's it going' which gets a 'good, you?' back. don't overthink it, americans are forgiving with greetings
66NickS@reddit
Hi-how-are-ya, what’s up bro, sup, how-ya-doin, and more are all basically just variations of hi/hello/etc. You can respond with most any greeting. If someone wants to continue the conversation they may ask something more specific. The below would be a normal interaction at a store checkout, starting with the cashier: - Hey how are ya? - Hello, how ya doin? - Fine, thanks. Did you find everything you needed? - Yup, got it all. Thanks. - Your total is $40. (Handles money) Thanks for coming in. - Thank you, have a good day.
Sooner70@reddit
I generally respond to “How are you?”with “That’s a complicated question!” It throws people for a loop (NOT what they were expecting) and generally results in a laugh and “I hear ya” or similar.
Not standard, but it’s how I respond.
Certain-Monitor5304@reddit
Hey coolio.
Little_Duck90@reddit
It's basically an extension of hello. We say it for basic pleasantries. Answers should be kept brief if you are acquaintances. A simple:
"Hi, how are you?" "I'm doing well, thank you, and you?"
This is the standard greeting between people, such as colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances, where you aren't really asking for a person's life story, but are asking as a general check, and exchanging of pleasantries.
If, however, you aren't doing well, it still should be kept brief if you are colleagues or acquaintances.
"Hi, how are you?" "Not so good, my allergies are killing me, but I'll survive. How are you?"
Simple, brief, and to the point, without over sharing.
If you are friends, then they actually care and are asking for more info than basic pleasantries, and you are welcome to go into more detail.
"Hi, how are you?" "Man, work sucked today, and I'm exhausted!" "Me too! I'm worn out! Let's go check out that new restaurant to get our mind off it."
VirtualTotal8468@reddit
Sounds like you’re doing great. A lot of people don’t treat greeting questions as real / sincere questions to be answered, just as things said to acknowledge another person and potentially precede a lengthier exchange.
If you greet with a question and get a question back you can answer with a “good” or “fine”, or you can just consider the greeting portion of the interaction completed.
For most situations you can swap to opening with a non-question greeting like “Hi” “Hello” “Hey” “‘morning” (short for good morning), etc. and then if they reply with a “hi, how are you / how’s it going / what’s up” you can answer accordingly before moving on into conversation, request, or whatever else the situation / interaction calls for.
I usually start with one of the more declarative greetings and then go from there. “Hello” is a good one, and delivery/tone can give it a lot of flexibility across circumstances. “Hey” is another more casual go-to, though I don’t typically use it with anyone who’s “on the clock” (cashiers, receptionists, other staff at an establisment).
Of course individualized greetings for people you know well are their own thing.
SnowblindAlbino@reddit
The smoothest way is to just say "Hey," and give a little upward nod of the head.
If you want more, "I'm doing _____, how about you?" If these are people you don't know well, everyone will say "Fine, thanks." If they are people you do know you could get anything from "Fine" to a 15-minute diatribe about something that happened at work the day before.
Or just say "Hey" and be done with it.
schoolydee@reddit
put out your hand and say gimme five and when they do slap them in the face and say keep the change
Cinisajoy2@reddit
Hi.
Cerulean_IsFancyBlue@reddit
There are probably some combinations of greeting noises that would make people wonder what’s going on, but most of them are fungible. You can just swap them around.
I think with a little bit of analysis, you can see which ones sound weird together. The good news is, because we say some of these things so reflexively, even native speakers will sometimes blurt out a non-sequitor.
“What’s up bro?”
“Good, and you?”
Just remember that it’s all greeting noises until you get specific. Then you can start treating it like a conversation.
“How’s it going?” - greeting
“Hey how’s your knee?” - conversation
“What’s up?” - greeting
“What’s up with those Seahawks?” - conversation.
Nofanta@reddit
Tilt your head back and say sup.
officerboba@reddit
I’m doing pretty well (you can insert something quick here like about weather or sports or work), how about yourself?
It’s a conversation starter
can-full-of-worms@reddit
Don’t worry I’m an American and I also never know if people are you using “how are you” as a hello or a question. I hate this quirk in our dialect
Phoenix_Court@reddit
"how are you" and "what's up" are greetings. It's normal to respond to a greeting with another greeting.
There is no need to respond to the second greeting.
"Hi, how are you"
"What's up bro"
End of conversation
Patrizio_Argento@reddit
Just greet people with, "sup?"
chodeobaggins@reddit
"what's up wid it, vanilla face?"
SockSock81219@reddit
Depends on the context, but for strangers, it's usually just a Hi! or Hello! or Good morning!
If someone hits you with a "Hey how's it going?" you can give a super upbeat "doing great, how're you?" a neutral "ah, fine, how're you?" or you can give them some cute wordplay like "it's going" or some regionally nuanced sarcasm/understatement like "can't complain" or "been worse" or "livin' the dream."
Best way to find out is to listen to how others greet each other and how they greet you. You'll pick it up.
RodneyBarringtonIII@reddit
I find that "whassup whassup whassup with the low-down on the skinny of the 4-1-1?" is a good general purpose greeting for formal situations.
For informal situations, pronounce the word skinny as "skin-nay."
EntrepreneurNo4138@reddit
Omg let’s walk before we run.🤣
1Negative_Person@reddit
The proper and polite way to respond to “How are you?” is “How are you?”. No one will really think twice if you actual give an answer like “I’m well” or “good”, but you are meant to just return the greeting.
bigfudge_drshokkka@reddit
If it’s a stranger, “good morning/afternoon/evening” is a pretty solid go to.
If it’s someone I know “hey good to see you” works well.
If I’m tight with the person, it’s something along the lines of “What’s goin on mama/papa duck? Still out here shreddin the gnar? Lookin good. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up, you golden ray of sunshine.”
I guess the point I’m making is that you don’t have to treat the pleasantry as a question if you don’t want to.
moonchic333@reddit
The phrase “how are you” can be interpreted as basically “hello” to many people. If you greet someone by saying “hi how are you” and they just say “what’s up” then you say nothing else unless you genuinely want to start a conversation. They just think you’re saying hi.
If you’re at a check out and the cashier asks “hey how are you” a pretty standard comeback would be “good, and you?”
EntrepreneurNo4138@reddit
This one ☝️OP. Stops the confusion and ends the conversation usually.
atxlonghorn23@reddit
It’s pretty common for people to not answer your “how are you?” directly (by telling you how they are actually doing).
When you say “how are you?” some people may immediately respond to you with “oh hey, how are you?”
So someone answering your question with a question is not unusual. You aren’t doing anything wrong.
When someone responds to your “how are you?” with “what’s up, bro?” you could say “not much. what’s up with you?”
It’s also pretty common to not answer the question “what’s up?” either. So a greeting might be “what’s up, bro?” and the response “oh hey, what’s up?”.
PureOrangeJuche@reddit
Not much bro just pounding hole and getting swole. Been dosing ket and acid every other day. Really opened my mind, brother. The unity of all things touches us all.
finethanksandyou@reddit
This is like not an actual question. The standard “good and you” just functions as a way to enter a conversation, a softener, if you will. It avoids to possibility of just walking up to someone and blurting out the point of your approach immediately.
tenehemia@reddit
My standard response to "how are you?" or "how's it going?" is "very well, thanks (or thank you)"
jessipowers@reddit
Sometimes people get on autopilot and just repeat their own standard greeting. Thats likely what’s happening when they respond to “how are you” with “what’s up.”
My standard greetings are sometimes, “hi, it’s nice to see/meet you!” Or more often, “hi, how are you?” “I’m good, you?” “I’m good, thanks”
Miles_Everhart@reddit
“Hey, how’s it goin”
lonelygayPhD@reddit
"I'm fine. And you?" is kind of the default, which is why I hate the question. I never respond honestly. "My mom just died, so I'm kind of miserable," or "I fear I might have throat cancer, but I'm surviving. Nice weather though."
Responsible_Tax_998@reddit
"What's up?"
"Everything that should be"
missdui@reddit
"how are you?" "what's up bro" "fine and you?" "chillin"
Many say "how are you" and "what's up" as greetings, not as actual questions
GBreezy@reddit
I always say "fine as wine" which i ironically said after listening to a Frank Sinatra cover of Mrs Robinson but now just do for real
CriticalSuit1336@reddit
My go to is "Well enough, you?"
DOMSdeluise@reddit
"doing just fine how about you?" or something like that. It's small talk, it's a formality, you are not expected to be honest about how your day is going.
snoweel@reddit
The standard polite, but brief response to "How are you?" is "Fine, how are you?" and you are not really expected to answer beyond "good" or "fine", assuming it is a stranger or casual acquaintance. If they answer "What's up, bro?" I'd say they are just answering you (informally) and not expecting any further response.
alcoholicmovielover@reddit
If someone asks me "what's up?" I often respond with "not much, you?"
Responsible-Care-388@reddit
I respond with “chicken butt”
droobles1337@reddit
Greeting: “what’s good”
My go to response: “I’m alive”
carnalcouple5280@reddit
Just say hello if anything at all..
FunImprovement166@reddit
Has my reputation preceded me, or have I gotten too quick for it??
btwrenn@reddit
As a response, my go-to is, I'm doing well, and I hope you are. It casually ends the interaction.
Self-Comprehensive@reddit
"How are you?" Good and you?
"What's up bro?" Not much sup with you?
terrovek3@reddit
"Whats up?" Is a good standard greeting, the appropriate response to which will vary based on familiarity with your target. If newly acquainted or upon first meeting, your response is to deny anything being "up", and to inquire in kind so as to ascertain thay nothing is also up with your interlocutor.
Q - "Hey, what's up?"
A - "Not much, what's up with you?"
Similarly to asking about what is up, you can also inquire as to the general wellbeing of your conversational partner. Similarly to when you ask about what is up, the response is that you are good/well, u less you are somewhat familiar with your subject. When you are more familiar, you may respond with more detailed/truthful status updates.
quietlywatching6@reddit
So if your English isn't very great maybe you're missing the first part of the response. Because the social script is.
How are you? Good. How are you?/what's up?/How's life? Etc And then you were supposed to respond good unless you guys are close enough in which you can express the actual truth about your feeling. You will also tend to get the Whats up? How can I help you? By people whose job is to help you. After they say good.
SplitOpenAndMelt420@reddit
Nope. The greeting is over at this point
We mostly don't respond to "how are you?" like an actual question. It commonly means the same thing as "what's up bro"
Round-Lab73@reddit
All those are valid. I usually answer something like "good, how are you?," but it's not necessarily a real question and "hey" can be just as fine a response
FitHoneydew9286@reddit
I think it’s people mishearing you or not filling registering what you’ve said. It happens. I’ve done it both directions. You can just say “Hey!” and then pause a beat before asking how they are. The Hey first lets a person know you’re taking to them