What does "make yourself at home" and "take what you like from the fridge" mean?
Posted by wheninrome5000@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 342 comments
Some Americans when hosting take a very open generous approach saying "make yourself at home" and "help yourself to anything in the fridge"
That is sort of an unfamiliar concept to me -- more used to having things set out.
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As for the Fridge: does it just mean "take a can of coke," or is it meant to license prowling around for snacks (say, making yourself a sandwich?) What about alcohol?
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what are the implied limits on "make yourself at home?" Can you turn on the TV, for example? Play video games?
I admire the spirit of generousity and hospitality that this conveys. But what are the unspoken limits here and how to avoid breaking them?
DuxofOregon@reddit
I love this question so much. Lol. I’m used to making these statements and hearing these statements, but I never really thought about how they might seem to an outsider. Like I’m picturing telling somebody to make themselves at home and take what they want from the fridge and the person stripping down naked and throwing every single item from my refrigerator into their car. Lol.
Euphoric_Ease4554@reddit
To us, making yourself at home means grab a seat and feel free to use the bathroom. The fridge remark? Drinks in individual cans or bottles. Okay, and a piece of cheese if you must.
Bulocoo@reddit
MYAH - Generally means sit where you want, use the bathroom without asking. Turn on tv.
Probably doesn't mean take your pants off and walk around naked.
Raid the fridge to me means snacks and beverages. I probably wouldn't be making sandwiches. OTOH if I overnighted I would have no qualms making coffee in the morning - I get up at 5am and do social and eMail in the am.
It is ambiguous for sure. How cliae you are to host plays in as well frim siblings (very at home) to acquaintances (pretty tight rules)
allaboutaphie@reddit
When I say it. It means Im not serving you, so if you are thirsty or hungry, please help yourself. Meaning food, beverages, using the bathroom (im not wioing your butt). And it is usually told to my sons friends, my family does if I say it or not.
Lereas@reddit
To me "make yourself at home" sorta matters on if I'm talking to a single person who is visiting, or I'm saying it to each of the guests for a larger party as they come in.
In the former, I do probably mean it...feel free to watch TV or whatever. In the latter it probably is more shorthand for "make yourself comfortable, chill in any room"
"Anything in the fridge" I probably mean snacks and drinks, but I usually literally says "snacks and drinks are in the fridge". I'd be a little weirded out if a guest started cooking without at least asking if it was cool.
WindSong001@reddit
It means I will not be serving you everything so if you want something to drink get up and have it if you’d like something to eat please have it if I’m eating something I’m gonna make it for you
KillBologna@reddit
Its exactly what the idiom sounds like but ask first if you want something.
MukadeYada@reddit
"Make yourself at home" doesn't really mean anything specific. It just means "I'd like you to be comfortable."
"Take what you like from the fridge" means exactly that: take anything you want from the fridge. Well, don't take the shelves out of the fridge, of course. But yes, you can have food, drinks, alcohol, anything in the fridge.
Reader124-Logan@reddit
If you see something that might be special - uncut cake, unopened wine, the last of a brand of beer - it’s best to ask.
StrengthFew9197@reddit
We once had a house-sitter we told to make themselves at home and they drank 4 bottles of somewhat rare port in 3 days. lol Totally our fault…we figured the hang over must have been brutal and didn’t say anything. After that though we did put some stuff away the next time.
Excusemytootie@reddit
4 bottles of Port, JHC.
Outside_Narwhal3784@reddit
That’s hilarious! And I had no idea what I had years ago was a port. Just waaaaay too sweet for my liking! Drinking three of those is crazy to me!
Mattturley@reddit
And the hangover from that much sugar. Oof.
spencer_hood@reddit
A son of a family friend of mine took "make yourself at home" so seriously when house sitting for us, that he put something like 400 miles on my truck and took a girl on a date in it cause it was so much nicer than his ride he thought it would impress her.
National-Pressure202@reddit
That’s wild! I will say I was dog sitting for a couple once and they specifically said I could borrow their sports car (idk what it was anymore) if I wanted. There’s no way I’d borrow someone’s car… exemption being if there was an emergency and my own car wasn’t working.
spencer_hood@reddit
The kid had a complicated home life and was just getting to know his dad which is how I knew the kid in the first place. And he just got entirely too comfortable around all of us. He was socially awkward and didnt really understand boundaries like when it's appropriate to borrow someone's vehicle.
kng-harvest@reddit
Were they a teenager that didn't have a lot of access to booze? That's just... a lot of commitment to a very syrupy liquid.
StrengthFew9197@reddit
He was in his early 20s, but yes, he said he’d hadn’t tried port before. My husband and I were exactly like you…like what the fuck? How? lol but he seemed to really enjoy it.
BrotherNatureNOLA@reddit
I'm not much of a wine person, but I could guzzle some port.
Bradadonasaurus@reddit
I bought an expensive bottle of port from a winery once, and cracked it open with a friend. It went very quickly. Maybe he had a lady friend he was trying to impress.
Reader124-Logan@reddit
My friends had a friend stay with them while she did all their interior painting. They found that she had consumed all their good bourbon and replaced it with stuff like Jack Daniel’s.
donuttrackme@reddit
That's fucked up.
WilcoHistBuff@reddit
LOL.
We used to live in a converted barn that was great for large parties and every Christmas season we threw a huge caroling party with a piano player that ran until 2 in the morning. Lots of food and drink. Carol singing could sound more like rugby songs after three pints than Christmas carols.
On one of these occasions our piano player saw a bottle Chivas Regal on a counter in the kitchen we had not put out on the open bar (because I hate the brand) and I said, “Well help yourself! I’ll leave it in this cabinet for your personal use.”
About two hours into the party she was drunk, and she was an angry drunk and started hurling rather raunchy insults at guests (who were more amused than insulted) but it got pretty wild.
She was also a fallen nun, who normally came across as a nun, but hearing the string of obscenities out of her mouth that night given her demeanor added to the inherent humor and horror of the whole thing.
She was not invited back the following year though.
jigglypuffcreative@reddit
Wow. lol
OmightyOmo@reddit
GREAT story! The fallen nun bit is chefs kiss! 💋
No_Salad_8766@reddit
Next time you could also specify, except for X thing.
arah91@reddit
For OPs example if someone really started making a sandwich I might think it was a little odd, but wouldn't care.
I think its more like an invitation to anything that is readily consumable, or a short microwave, not necessarily to start cooking.
esotericbatinthevine@reddit
I'd be laughing so hard I could barely breathe if someone started making a sandwich. And then be all the more glad they are in my life. I haven't had friends get that comfortable since uni. It's like some shift happens and being that at home at a friend's place is no longer acceptable once you hit mid twenties or something, and I hate it.
InannasPocket@reddit
I've got a few friends still (I'm 42) who we're like this with and it's great. We have been roommates before, we have seen each other at less than our best, we have seen each other naked, you can just forage in my kitchen if hungry.
Traditional-Goose-60@reddit
Bull! Im 42 and still have friends come crash at my place for a couple days at a time. We dont even drink anymore. We just hang out and have bonfires or grill and just hang out. Might ne a few gigglesticks involved since everyone has there card now but nothing serious.
esotericbatinthevine@reddit
We still crash at each other's places and do weekends together, but no one raids my fridge and makes a sandwich or the like anymore. The most is grabbing snacks/drinks or making themselves tea. Anything more substantial is a discussion about what "we" want for food.
In highschool and undergrad, we'd wander into each other's places whenever and had no qualms about making a sandwich or scarfing leftovers. Heck, I once came home from walking my dog and my friend, who did not live with me, was making a pasta dish. We were all conscientious about not being a leach and made sure not to do so when someone was stalking up before a busy time. Idk, I was just different. I rarely even have friends show up uninvited these days, I almost always at least get a text first.
dontforgettowriteme@reddit
Same - I used to live with one of my best friends. Came home from work and told her the necklace she was wearing looked really nice with her outfit. It went so well with her outfit that I didn't even notice that it was mine! lol I thought it was so funny. But I also felt really glad that she felt so comfortable with me that she could borrow it for her own outfit for the day without asking because she knew I'd be cool with it.
No-Agent-1611@reddit
Yeah, if you’re visiting for a few hours, it’s better to ask “hey would you mind if I made a sandwich”. If you are there for a week you can make sandwiches but should ask “hey do you mind if I cook this roast and add some potatoes” lol.
Equivalent-Cicada165@reddit
In highschool a friend just opened the fridge and made herself a quesadilla
I was shocked because I would never have done that without asking, but my parents just offered some salsa for her to eat with it. That moment probably taught me to roll with things more than anything else
arcteryx17@reddit
Also depends on the event. A party, means drinks, snacks and such. A guest for the weekend or long period of time basically means, I don't want to be your servant. Drink or make what you want if your hungry or thirsty.
StirlingS@reddit
For a longer stay it could also mean I have a proven track record of forgetting to feed and water my guests. I will give it my best, but I don't want you to die silently like all the houseplants I've ever owned.
Rough-Trainer-8833@reddit
LOL, I loved this reply
arcteryx17@reddit
Lmao at "water my guests"
This is now my way of saying providing beverages. Thank you
Stan_Deviant@reddit
Oh this is old industry. At restaurants I've worked we definitely offer other servers to "water your table" while they catch up.
pawsplay36@reddit
See? Good etiquette is not dead. Unlike those poor plants...
pizzaanarchy@reddit
A party is over night, a guest is a week, after that, they are on their own when I say make themselves at home, I mean exactly that: Eat, drink and be merry, but replenish, clean and feed yourself. At that point, you are a roommate, not a guest.
Super_Direction498@reddit
I wouldn't bat an eye if a guest made a sandwich. I say "help yourself to the fridge" quite literally.
Traditional-Goose-60@reddit
As do I. My friends know to check the vake stand as I usually have fresh cake or pie. They also know all leftovers in the fridge are fair game and they know where the plates and everything are. They even make a pot of coffee if the want should arise. Lol.
tvdoomas@reddit
Through is you do start cooking it is polite to ask the host if they would also like a sandwich or to just default make enough for the guest and host.
NoodleyP@reddit
The latter is my preference because if the host refuses it’s more for me :)
pawsplay36@reddit
Pots don't live in the fridge, definitely ask before you start using pots.
YoshiandAims@reddit
Yes! I would be so confused and shocked I wouldn't know what to do.
Like, snacks, prepared foods, drinks... You're making yourself my porkchops and a baked potato with a side salad??
I mean... I guess I did say...
dachjaw@reddit
Yeah, I would consider meat to be off limits without asking specifically.
Loves_octopus@reddit
I would be 100% fine with the sandwich making as long as they offered to make me one.
catscatscaaaats@reddit
This.. I would take it to mean have a pop, take some cheese sticks or a yogurt, maybe make a frozen pizza. But probably not cook an actual meal with ingredients that the host might have plans for later.
jh789-2@reddit
But for a houseguest I would expect them to make a sandwich or salad or whatever they want
Fragrant-Inside221@reddit
Idk man if a guest wants to start cooking a nice meal I wouldn’t be opposed as long as they share.
notonrexmanningday@reddit
But only take what you will consume in your host's home. Don't load your pockets with their beers to take with you.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
But I spilled a coke on that shelf.
YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO@reddit
The second part usually excludes alcohol unless specified in my experience
wheninrome5000@reddit (OP)
That is extraordinary !
raobuntu@reddit
The intensity of what to take is very much dependent on context. If I'm at my old friend's house, I'll help myself to anything without asking and even fix myself leftovers. If I'm at a new friend or an acquaintance's house, I'll limit myself to a water or maybe a beer if it's that kind of hangout.
FataMorganaForReal@reddit
Yes. Very much. You could make a sandwich or heat up leftovers at a new friend or acquaintances house, just don't expect to ever get invited back. lol
samandtoast@reddit
No one that tells a guest to help themselves to anything in the fridge would care if they did that. It’s not something you say if you don’t mean it.
jackfaire@reddit
That's why unwritten rules suck. Because some do have a mental limitations on it
JumpingJacks1234@reddit
No
FataMorganaForReal@reddit
I guess I'm just silly like that. I'll say "well I'll be damned" and so far, not yet. If I call someone a MFer, it doesn't mean I really think they incestuously banging their mom. Someone asks "how are you?", "hanging in there" does not mean I'm physically hanging.
Are you always so literal?
FataMorganaForReal@reddit
Because most people have manners, and those that don't wouldn't be invited in.
Eubank31@reddit
Are you just now learning that sometimes people say things they don't fully mean when in polite company
JumpingJacks1234@reddit
You can be polite and hospitable without saying that by offering refreshments in a different way.
Ill-Woodpecker1857@reddit
Doesnt make it any less stupid. When I say, "help yourself", I literally mean that.
babassu_seeds@reddit
No, if I say that, I mean it. I would LOVE for a new acquaintance to make a full-on sandwich. It would prob instantly upgrade him/her to friend
pawsplay36@reddit
What?
FataMorganaForReal@reddit
What??
Significant-Dance-43@reddit
What???
bass679@reddit
So American politeness is a lot more complex than people realize. It's not a one sided thing and both parties have expectations and social norms.
If there are any imposed limits your host will tell you, for example, "help yourself to anything in the fridge but the chocolate milk is my kid's" means you have free reign but this particular item is set aside for a particular person. You host will tell you this because if they don't then you might take something you shouldn't and that would embarrass and make them a bad host for allowing that to happen.
On the OTHER hand. as the guest it's your job to not abuse your host's generosity. So let's say you grab a soda from the fridge, sure no problem. But if you were to take ALL the sodas and chug them, that would be abusing the charity of your host. They'd let you almost certainly but you may not be invited back.
On a lesser note, perhaps there's only 1 cold soda. Of course you can take it, but maybe you grab something different to not take the last one, or you could tell your host, "Ohh there's only 1 cold drink left, where are the warm ones and I'll fill the fridge." You're ensuring that you aren't being too much of a burden on their generosity
thatlookslikemydog@reddit
I’d stay away from like eating a whole gallon of ice cream or cracking open the most expensive wine they’ve got (without asking).
Substantial-Peak6624@reddit
Yeah, we need to talk more about the wine!
toad_stomp@reddit
lol, if I have wine, you have wine
Substantial-Peak6624@reddit
Really? You want your guests to be happy! My guest very rarely leave without something!
BigPapaJava@reddit
I will add that the person doing the taking also needs to have basic common sense and respect their host.
They shouldn’t be completely emptying the fridge of all food to fake home for their own meals or pulling out the Thanksgiving turkey the night before the holiday.
But yeah… it’s telling your guest they can get a coke, snack, whatever reasonable thing they may want.
notimeforniceties@reddit
I think the main thing to take away from a comment like that is the host won't be serving you anything, but you are able to take what you like from what they have available.
PsychologicalFox8839@reddit
Yeah, if there was something specific out of bounds in the fridge I'd let the person know, otherwise, it would be free reign if that's what I said. Like "The cupcakes are Jane's party tomorrow, but other than that, help yourself." or "John is taking those leftovers on the second shelf to work in the morning, but you're welcome to anything else."
Significant-Dance-43@reddit
You may open the lid to that giant Hidden Valley Ranch dispenser and empty it into your stomach as you so desire! (Or anything else in the refrigerator, but that’s less dramatic.)
nilmot81@reddit
Make yourself at home usually means enjoy the living spaces but stay out of the bedrooms, unless explicitly told otherwise. TV and consoles are fair game.
MukadeYada@reddit
Having someone flip on the PS4 would be really weird. Like "Ummm I guess that's allowed, but I invited you over here to socialize, not to watch you play Ghost of Tsushima."
donuttrackme@reddit
You can definitely socialize over a game of Ghost of Tsushima if that's how your friendship works. But I understand the main point of what you're trying to say.
nilmot81@reddit
lol for sure, context definitely applies
thewineyourewith@reddit
“Make yourself at home” doesn’t mean, like, feel free to wander around naked if that’s what you do at home. It just means please be comfortable.
“Help yourself” means within reason. Wasn’t there a famous post a while ago about a guy who would ALL of the food clearly meant for everyone - like the entire sandwich tray, multiple pizzas. So no do not eat everything in the fridge so there’s nothing left.
tandem_kayak@reddit
Lol, one time I had a teenage boy pet sitting for me, and I told him to help himself to anything in the fridge and he wiped me out! I was unprepared for how much teenage boys eat!
BigOil88@reddit
We could relate to that. Ours are grown now. Yes we had to make sure we had sufficient provisions when several hungry teenagers showed up. They’re not terribly picky at least the male versions for the most part.
Ergo , they don’t need the alfalfa, sprout organic mushroom, Joe’s frozen pizza. But will 100% eat it if you don’t think ahead…
But make darn sure you got several Great Value from Walmart or house brand pies in there. A big ass bag of Cheetos or equivalent, some kind of chip and a gallon bucket of some kind of chloric lightly seasoned base sour cream, condiment…
ImAlsoNotOlivia@reddit
EXCEPT the last Pepsi! I go to the fridge to find NO PEPSI? Heads are gonna roll!
Outrageous_Chart_35@reddit
This is why I don't think I've ever said "help yourself to anything in the fridge" to a guest. I've got things in there I'm saving for special occasions. I usually ask if anyone wants something to eat or drink, then give them a general rundown of options if they're interested.
If I was hosting close friends or family more often, I might put special things in one location and tell folks to take anything but them.
t-poke@reddit
I could be mis-remembering, but I feel like this was a Curb episode. A guest took too much from Larry's fridge or something.
Larry was probably right but an asshole about it.
dontforgettowriteme@reddit
Yes - I'd say employ some common sense around making yourself at home and it should be fine. I don't mean try on my clothes and rifle through my underwear drawer but yeah, you can take off your shoes and sit back on the couch and whatnot.
asphid_jackal@reddit
Well, eXcUsE mE for thinking we were friends
dontforgettowriteme@reddit
We've been over this!
IKnowItCanSeeMe@reddit
Just read the room, if you're just over for dinner, don't immediately go for the booze and get trashed.
GenericAccount13579@reddit
Heck, take a shelf. Why? I don’t know and I will question it, but I can’t definitively say that I would stop you
Saruster@reddit
Growing up we always had two fridges (big family) so the “garage fridge” was for guests. My mom kept that thing epically stocked ❤️ Not only snacks, sodas and sandwich making materials but that’s also where she put leftovers she had no specific plan for. Try to imagine how much food four teenaged boys and their friends could go through after school. This was the era of mini pizza bagels and the like so often one of my brothers and a gaggle of boys would come in, drop their book bags, then turn on the oven to preheat on the way to the garage before they even decided what they wanted. We also had two microwaves to cut down on traffic jams.
Comedeorologist@reddit
I would assume that if a host told me this, there would be a clear demarcation within the fridge of stuff meant for the guest(s). Neat rows of beer or soda. Stacks of vegetables and dips. Bread, meat, or condiments.
Otherwise, they would lay options out on a surface, or give specific guidance. They may ask if I'd like something to drink, and if I say yes, they tell me what's available in the fridge. But it's all fair game.
pawsplay36@reddit
No. The essence of hosting is not to embarrass your guests, and if there is any possible ambiguity at all, you should erase it. If there is stuff in the fridge that is not for guests, then you should not invite guests to take anything in the fridge.
Comedeorologist@reddit
So a half eaten jar of tapenade and the heel of a sourdough loaf with a slice of roasted bell pepper using a paring knife from a drawer is fair game?
I don't envy whoever does your dishes.
pawsplay36@reddit
I can't even detect what I'm supposed to find objectionable about your example.
Comedeorologist@reddit
Do my dishes afterwards, and I wouldn't object either.
pawsplay36@reddit
*shrug*
Rare_Pea610@reddit
Well said.
Ki-to-Life-5054@reddit
You can always announce what you'd like, "Ok if I make a sandwich?" Or, "ok if I take a can of Pepsi?" Just to be polite. Afa the TV, "will it bother you if I watch XYZ show?"
pawsplay36@reddit
I would never ask that, because that puts your host in the potential dilemma of either saying no, or gritting their teeth because they are giving away something they didn't intend to.
RickLovin1@reddit
I never thought of that, one of my crisper drawers is cracked, so if they say I can take what I like from the fridge, I'm gonna swipe the drawer!
gdubh@reddit
And the latter comes with a healthy side of “I ain’t serving you so get it yourself”.
Maronita2025@reddit
You can do all those things as long as you are NOT bagging it for later.
Excusemytootie@reddit
Generally I ask all guests in home if they would care for a beverage. Of If I say “make yourself at home” I do mean that I hope they feel comfortable in my home and relaxed. If they want to take something from the fridge, I’m okay with that, but usually people will still ask first.
Grouchy-Macaron-1780@reddit
I learned the hard way that make yourself at home doesn't give full rights and privileges. I had a friend who I was house/pet sitting for who let me stay at their house for a month, with a stocked refrigerator, who said Make yourself at home.
Well, I didnt like the furniture lay out or the paint color of the house. I rearranged the furniture, but it still wasn't right.
I knocked out a wall, and redid the sheetrock walls with a natural stone and tile, and bought new furniture with a credit card I had found in a drawer.
I also had a contractor enlarge the house, which, unfortunately we did without proper permits, and we didnt realize we had built the extension over the property line, and into the neighbor's yard.
The city got involved, lawsuits occurred, and I was threatened with lawsuits by the neighbor If I didnt tear down the extension.
I got so totally stressed, that I contacted a hit man and had the neighbor "eliminated" and in the ensuing police investigation, I made a comment that it "Might have been (my friend) who killed him", you know, the guy whose house I was staying at.
Since I didnt know where he was, the investigation took a long time. And I figured it would be a good idea to leave town. Since I was told to "Make myself at home" i contacted a realtor and decided to sell "My home".
I listed the price really low, so it sold quickly, and when we got to closing, I signed the papers, and was given a check.
I took that money, flew to a small unknown pacific Island in the Atolls, and have lived here ever since.
I called my friend once, but he was so mad that he really didnt make any sense. He was just seething and ranting something about ruining his life.
I dont know, maybe I ate too much of his food?
Anyway, be careful when someone says "Make yourself at home". It's a good idea to clarify what they mean.
Trust me on that.
PriorSecurity9784@reddit
Hosts are able to be generous with an offer because there’s also an implicit understanding that a polite guest won’t overly take advantage of it
I think if they have beer or soda, and you’re drinking, it’s fine to get one without asking.
Usually if they’re supplying food for guests you’d put it out.
I think if you’re really going to dig through there, it’s worth an extra comment.
Like “oh thank you for offering. I wouldn’t normally do that, but I actually had to skip lunch for this meeting, so I’m really hungry. Would you mind if I opened these chips, or had some of that leftover pizza I saw in there, or is that for something else?”
That gives them a chance to say “yeah, of course you can have some pizza, just leave me two slices for lunch tomorrow” or something like that.
Unless it’s someone you’re really close with, I think it would be a little impolite to start digging
Multidream@reddit
I guess Im a little more restrictive but…
1 - Make yourself at home means feel free to lie as you like on the furniture. Turning on the TV is generally not ok unless the event will eventually require the tv to be on. Generally speaking, video games are an entirely separate discussion you need to have first with the host. I lean toward this being disrespectful, unless the host specifically has invited you to play video games with them before.
The general rule is that you are there to hang out with the host. You may be proactive in setting up whatever games or entertainment, but you are expected not to wander off and do your own thing most of the time. Obviously large gatherings and family or well known friends can be exceptions.
2 - Take what you like from the fridge means you can take things that would be considered “not scarce” or “normal drinks”. That’s most soda, milk, juices and beers. You may not finish anything. Wine is not okay. Most food is actually not okay. Usually anything prepackaged and in multiples is okay. Fruit is usually okay. Vegtables, meats n Cheese are not. Ice cream, cakes sweets, anything unique is a huge no no.
goblin_hipster@reddit
If I got stuff out, or easily available, and I tell you to make yourself at home, you are free to do so! Now, within reason. For example, I rarely wear pants at home, but I'm not gonna do that at a friend's house lol.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
So you will or won't wear pants at the friend's house.
goblin_hipster@reddit
I will wear pants.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
Well you said you rarely wore pants at home. So had to ask whether you wore pants outside the house.
Also today here is a no pants day so call before coming over.
Tom__mm@reddit
It’s a medium-high-context situation, sociologically speaking. There are unspoken rules understood by both host and guest, and breaking them marks you as a thoughtless person or worse. Americans are generally quite generous with food and drink, though, partly because these are understood to be relatively trivial items, economically.
leeloocal@reddit
When I say it, it means “raid my fridge,” do what you want. Except take your shoes off.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
Would it be ok to bring strictly inside shoes for those that can't go barefoot?
leeloocal@reddit
Just as long as they don’t put their shoes on couches and bed, I don’t really mind it. But I’d prefer shoes off.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
So someone that can't risk getting a cut on their foot should not wear house shoes in your house. Your floor is more important than the potential of losing a foot. Note, these shoes have never been outside.
leeloocal@reddit
I literally didn’t say that. I said that if they wanted to keep them on, it’s fine, but I’d prefer no shoes. But also, I know quite a few people who can’t go barefoot, and they bring house shoes that have structure in them with them when they visit people.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
Why I very specifically said HOUSE SHOES. To which you responded you prefer barefoot. So could someone change into inside shoes or would you want them barefoot?
I think I would keep my socks on.
leeloocal@reddit
Okay.
LastOfTheAsparagus@reddit
Some people feel hosting should be formal/stuffy. Make yourself at home to me is don’t expect much from me feel free to take your shoes off, raid the fridge, put your feet up, take a nap
Cinisajoy2@reddit
In my house, please leave your shoes on or risk stickers.
Clementinecutie13@reddit
Make yourself at home = have a seat, be comfortable, take your shoes off, etc. without being a total menace to the household
"Take what you'd like from the fridge" = there are plenty of snakes and drinks, fuel yourself. We don't want anyone going hungry or being parched here, but do it within reason
Drewcifer13@reddit
If I open someone’s fridge and there’s snakes in there, I’m out lol
_awk_girl_ward_@reddit
I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking fridge!
Thelonius16@reddit
They're cold-blooded, so it's probably asleep or something.
Clementinecutie13@reddit
Oh goddammit 🤦🏻♀️ I'm burning the house down if I see this
keener_lightnings@reddit
A friend of mine has pet snakes--if you rummage around in their freezer, there's a nonzero chance of finding snake-snacks (i.e., mice) 😬
Traditional-Goose-60@reddit
Like, I know what you meant (snacks), but if there's snakes in my fridge, feel free to take them all.....
MrMathamagician@reddit
There is an implied ‘don’t be an asshole’ meaning don’t eat or drink an unreasonable amount of stuff. If you want food offer to make the other person whatever you are making. If it’s alcohol ask what options are available and they will mention some items an exclude items they don’t want to open or share.
Diamond123682@reddit
To summarize the comments here: when in doubt, just ask.
xnatlywouldx@reddit
A lot of people are saying "take anything you want from the fridge" shouldn't mean making yourself an entire meal, but I am southern, and literally, I do not mind if you make yourself an entire meal from my fridge. I might balk if you decide to start roasting a whole chicken you found in there, but if you make yourself a sandwich and a side - yeah, fine with me, I told you to and I welcome you to do that.
wheninrome5000@reddit (OP)
What sides do you have in there to go with sandwich?
xnatlywouldx@reddit
Pickles, fruit, anything you might want to make a salad with, dips ... and tho not in the fridge, I mean, sure, grab a handful of tortilla chips or something if you want.
wheninrome5000@reddit (OP)
Sounds like a great place to be a guest
Traditional-Goose-60@reddit
Of i dont have leftovers, ill cook a meal for everyone that I have over. I am 42/m that was raised bt my VERY SOUTHERN great grandmother. There is something to be said for old school southern hospitality. Like she even taught me about place settings and how to tell what courses were to be expected based on the setting pieces. Even taught me what a finger bowl was for at the beginning if a meal. Never once has any of that knowledge came im handy for me. 🤣
SureWhyNot5182@reddit
Grandma from the north, but exact same story lol
Traditional-Goose-60@reddit
That is HILARIOUS. Gotta love them old folk.
pawsplay36@reddit
As a Southerner, I would literally let someone eat my anniversary wedding cake before I would admit that I misspoke when I said "anything." Hospitality is very important, and I would never, ever embarrass a well-meaning guest.
iamgladtohearit@reddit
Funnily enough that happened to my husband and I. We got married, put leftover cake in our fridge so we could make our anniversary slice and freeze it the next day. Had my brother and best friend over and told them to help themselves to the fridge. They ate the wedding cake except for a tiny mushed bit on the tray (I assume either they had post-cake clarity and realized they shouldn't have eaten all of the cake right before they finished, or they were pulling the "Im leaving 1mm of milk in the carton so I don't have to throw it away" move).
We were kinda upset because we thought it was just common sense that that was a huge dick move, but we never said anything and we froze our tiny shitty morsel and laughed when we unwrapped it in all it's glory the next year.
xnatlywouldx@reddit
Yeah, I can't think of much I'd say no to. Or much that would upset me if they ate it from my fridge, either.
the-quibbler@reddit
The former means to be as at ease as you would in your own residence.
The latter is interesting. It means you should feel free to eat or drink anything they have, but I council caution. Most likely expect you to take only things that might otherwise classify as a "snack". If you grab a coke, that's expected. If you grab a beer (unless everyone is clearly drinking), you'll get strange looks. If you take out a ribeye and start the stove, you'll definitely get questioned.
GizmoCaCa-78@reddit
It means get it yourself and dont be shy.
WhyAmILikeThis777@reddit
I’ve always assumed (and told others) that you can have anything to drink or snack on. Making a meal would be weird to me. But my friends come over and I tell them to raid the cupboards/ fridge (popcorn, granola bars, soda, alcohol, juice, fruit, etc)
CheesE4Every1@reddit
Be comfortable in my place
GABigBear@reddit
It means I’m being polite. Don’t touch my shit.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
If you are staying longer, please use the shower, extra toiletries are on the shelf above the toilet. Help yourself to anything in that basket. Also, I will give you your own laundry hamper. And use of the washer and dryer. Just please put up your beds when you see the hosts come in the living room.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
Ok don't drink the waters on the right side of the fridge. They are our refills. Bottles on the left are fine. If you want put your initials on one or two and keep refilling them out of the blue jugs. Anything else is fine out of the little refrigerator. If you want tea, coffee or hot chocolate, use the water in the blue jugs. Is it summer, let me know if you want ice because 10 cubes takes about 10 minutes. Again, water in the blue jugs. Let us know if you empty one.
madelmire@reddit
When taking from someone's fridge:
However...
DO NOT EAT ALL OF THE FOOD. It is disrespectful to be gluttonous and eat all of the food that they have. Even if you pay for some of it to be replaced, You're still forcing them to go out and get it or remake it. If you're going to eat some food then have a reasonable amount and don't force them to make grocery runs to compensate.
Avoid the restaurant leftovers, because that's probably from someone's specific personal meal. Instead go for making yourself new food (eggs, a sandwich, veggies, etc), or taking from general leftovers from a group meal that everyone had.
If something in the fridge looks particularly unique or expensive (like a small personalized cake), then ask before you eat it because they might have forgotten they had something special there.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
Or if you are staying a few days, find a grocery store and replace some items. Don't be a total mooch.
AdamOnFirst@reddit
It means what it sounds like. Act like it’s your house, go grab any meal or drink from the fridge, etc. You’re probably not going to crack open a bottle of wine or start drinking if your hosts aren’t, but if you’re all drinking then yeah go grab whatever.
As a kid, after you went to a friend’s house a few times and you knew you’d be there a lot, there was often this funny moment where the mom would get tired of getting you stuff and give you “the tour” and show you “here is where all the snacks are,” “here is where the water glasses are,” “here is where the extra whatever are downstairs” and you’d just act like you’re at home at get whatever you want.
1EMurph1@reddit
Usually it means sit on the couch, turn on the tv or grab a bottle of water. But it does give me permission to lay on the couch naked with my muddy shoes on
Cinisajoy2@reddit
I think you missed a word unless your host likes you naked with only muddy boots on.
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
I say that and I mean it, but if it's like at a party? Making a sandwich would be weird. If you like an overnight house guest? Sure. Eat what you want.
Also my dog sitter. He was so funny. He was like 12 and I'd be in Mexico getting messages like "how do you like to cook these Spring rolls?" or "what kind of cheese would you put on the frozen meatballs?". He drank out of my fanciest wine glasses which makes me laugh.
pawsplay36@reddit
Why would making a sandwich be weird? That's neither a carrot stick, nor a fancy dinner. That is the very essence of "anything in the fridge."
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
If you come over to my home for a party, I will be providing meals.
So if you randomly opened the fridge and took ingredients out?
But, I have cocktails and beer and wine in the fridge and mixers.
At a party there is an expectation of food-likely well planned and specific food - it would be weird, without a discussion to just bust out cold cuts and and stuff and make a sandwich.
pawsplay36@reddit
Your comment seems weird, because the context is the host saying, "Take what you like from the fridge." You are describing an entirely different setting. If I want you to eat carrot sticks and not make a sandwich, I would put the carrot sticks on a tray, and NOT say "take what you like from the fridge."
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
Listen, if you come into someone's kitchen and everyone is standing around drinking cocktails and eating Hors d'oeuvres - and we say grab what you want from the fridge - and and you start making a ham sandwich, we are all going to assume you are neurodivergent and will be fine with it.
pawsplay36@reddit
If the only thing in the fridge is sandwich makings, why would that be weird? Presumably the hors s'oevres are plated, and not piled up in the fridge. Why would I direct someone to take "anything" from the fridge if there is no reason for them to go there? If the drinks are in the fridge, you could say, "Drinks are in the fridge." But if you are hosting, the correct thing to do is to put someone in charge of taking drinks out of the fridge. Inviting someone to go into the fridge, on an unclear mission, isn't hosting, that's barbarism.
YourDadsFansly@reddit
Anticipation and semantics. I gave you food and drink. There is more food out, but cold drinks stayed in the fridge. I did not anticipate you wanting more/different food than I was already offering when I made gesture.
Your apartment is being fumigated. You come stay with me. I say, "stay as long as you like." I anticipated a weekend. Please check in before staying 5 years because it was "offered." Anticipation and semantics.
FunkySalamander1@reddit
Do you say that to people at a party if you don’t want them to do that? It might be clearer to say they can help themselves to whatever drinks are in the fridge. I just feel it’s better to be precise rather than open the door to potential awkwardness.
Castronautik@reddit
The make yourself at home, also I'd would say would be to mean don't ask permission to get something or expect the host to do it.
For example if the guest wanted a glass of water, I would say that's code for just get the glass out yourself and get the water, you don't need to ask the host to do it. You are also free to use the bathroom without asking.
On the fridge part I would say if there is beer or any other canned liquor that those would be free game for the guest to take.
Some of this could also be time based, is it a guest over for just a couple hours? or are they staying a few days?
If multiple days I'd say any food or snacks in the house would be ok to take. But if its just for a couple hours maybe don't eat their left overs.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
Or ask if the leftovers look really good.
MyUsername2459@reddit
Yes, it would generally include getting some food from the refrigerator. Technically it would include alcohol, but it would still be polite just to casually ask before fixing a drink. More than a light snack or maybe a simple sandwich would be weird. If someone started fixing themselves multiple cocktails while cooking themselves a full dinner. . .well, that might lead into other topics of discussion, out of friendly concern for their level of drinking and availability of food.
Both turning on the TV, or turning on a video game console would be fine. Just don't overwrite anyone's saved games or change any settings on the TV.
pawsplay36@reddit
"Mind of I finish off this Boone's Strawberry Hill?" is a fair question. Unopened good liquor, I would not even acknowledge that it exists unless the host offers.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
Actual question I got asked years ago, "where is the liquor cabinet and can I have a coke? Ok so you know the booze is dad's and the cokes are mine. My question was do you want me to make you a drink? It was 7am.
Chronic_Iconic_Lady@reddit
As someone from a region of guess culture and a family that specialized in never being direct about anything. Note that this is for low level friends, friend's family, or strangers houses.
Make yourself at home - Follow rules about shoes in house or not. Take any seat on the couch that doesn't have something already on it. Feel free to move the couch cushions around as needed, but don't take a cushion that is on a seat with something on it. Do not sit on the recliners unless invited. Do not sit on the floor unless someone else is already on the floor or there are no other seats available.
Help yourself to the fridge - Take a can/bottle of soda or water but not the last one. You can eat the foodand drink the alcohol but always ask first. You may be told something like "help yourself to the fridge, there are cookies on the counter" then take a cookie unless you are allergic. Turning down food is offensive if you can eat it.
wheninrome5000@reddit (OP)
These are the kind of implied limits I was thinking of.
Didn't know that the recliner is off limits will remember that in future.
LittleWhiteGirl@reddit
I think the recliner rule is really only true if an older man lives in the house.
that-Sarah-girl@reddit
The recliner is not always off limits. But you don't want to take Dad or Grandma's favorite seat. The recliner is likely to be someone else's favorite seat.
benkatejackwin@reddit
I wouldn't say this is a universal rule. It certainly not a rule in my house.
Chronic_Iconic_Lady@reddit
There is a reason for the recliner, even though it sounds crazy. My family for example, the recliners were always used exclusively by the men who work physical labor jobs or the disabled/elderly. This is because the recliner they selected and used was the only place they could sit in the house without being in pain. I have a recliner I specifically picked out that I can sit on all day without hurting, but if I needed to sit on the couch, I could do maybe 30 minutes before having to go lay down.
So taking the person's recliner is like saying "my comfort matters more than yours".
You may be offered to "check out my new recliner" at which point you should sit down, lay back in it, and make appropriate "oh this is so comfortable" comments, then get back up and offer the recliner to its owner and sit elsewhere.
elphaba00@reddit
Even at my parents' house, I have to ask if I can have something alcoholic out of the fridge. And the answer is usually no. They're not teetotalers, but they do not share that.
Also, if I'm sitting in my dad's chair and he shows up, that's my cue to move.
LittleWhiteGirl@reddit
This is so interesting. If we have a particular bottle of something we don’t want opened we just stash it while company is over. So when I say take anything from the fridge I mean it. The whiskey we’re saving for our anniversary is in a closet, no worries, take anything that looks good.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
There are two seats in our house that are reserved. My husband's desk chair and my corner of the sofa. Anywhere else is fair game.
Chezzabella29@reddit
Get comfy, eat drink whatever you want or ill procure whatever items you'd like. You wanna shower? Lemme grab some towels, you wanna nap, lemme get you a warm blanket. I was raised in the Midwest, and my hospitality is a reflection of me, and I enjoy people feeling at home :)
Bubbly_Following7930@reddit
I don't know because I've never said that to anyone.
weirdcunning@reddit
"Make yourself at home" is like "how are you?" It should be considered a friendly expression and not taken literally. How you act at someone else's place depends on how well you know them. Polite for people you don't know as well and more casual and relaxed for close friends or family. It's a diverse country and allows for individual expression, so you aren't going to necessarily know the boundaries someone has about their personal space until you know them better.
Most people who've said the fridge thing, I've known them well or they usually mean drinks.
CyanCitrine@reddit
Make yourself at home means feel free to sit on the couch or whatever. If they tell you to take what you want from the fridge, means you can get a drink or food from it. Pretty straightforward. Don't be greedy or weird about it though.
jrb637@reddit
I'd stay out of the bedroom, but everything you mentioned sounds fine
TsundereLoliDragon@reddit
Yeah mostly, although making yourself an entire meal would be weird as hell.
Morrison4113@reddit
That would be really freaking funny.
Morrison4113@reddit
Starts whipping eggs in a bowl. “Hey dude, I’m baking a cake for myself. You want anything?”
ToBePacific@reddit
If I’m staying at someone’s house for a couple days and they explicitly say “help yourself to anything in the fridge” I am not going to second guess whether I am allowed to fix myself a meal. They offered.
confettiqueen@reddit
Yeah the context depends here - if you were staying for an afternoon, snacks and drinks would be normal to snag from the fridge. If you’re staying overnight, it’d be normal to make breakfast or whatever with that permission.
Big exception would be like… using foods that may be saved for something else. Best courtesy would be to ask before using anything impactful - I.e. “hey I’m making breakfast, OK if I use the bacon in the fridge?”
vegasnative@reddit
Yes this is so important- the length of the visit matters. If you’re staying for the weekend, making yourself at home would include making yourself a meal or a heavy snack. If you’re there for a couple hours, you can grab a beverage or a light snack typically.
ticktack@reddit
I disagree and I will give you a clear and common example: kids. If I’m hosting other kids they absolutely are welcome to make themselves some ramen, nachos, a sandwich or whatever. I think this is pretty expected, in fact. I’d also expect them to do the dishes and clean up afterwards. It saves me from cooking for a bunch of others!
TheOfficialKramer@reddit
No way man, if a guest wants to cook, I'll invite them back every day.
rhino369@reddit
A meal would be sorta weird.
vulkoriscoming@reddit
IDK depends on context. I definitely have cooked breakfast for a friend at their house and have had friends cook lunch or dinner at mine.
LangokiAgain@reddit
This. i will make meals, but snacking is on you.
PvtDipwad@reddit
I've had friends come over with food and ask to use my stove and pans lol, I really don't mind as long as they know I expect them to be tidy.
gard3nwitch@reddit
I think it depends on the context - if you're having a friend or family member stay over for a few days, then it might really mean "please make yourself lunch while I'm at work". But if you have some friends over to watch a movie, then a whole meal would be too much.
revdon@reddit
Generally: have a beverage and a snack.
It’s NOT an invitation to consume anything expensive, or to start cooking, or rummage through everything.
shawnalee07@reddit
It's not that deep, but the unspoken part is that you are free to look in the fridge or cabinets for something to eat or drink, but if you find something you want you should ask if you can have it. Same with "make yourself at home" - you are free to look around the house, use the bathroom, sit wherever you'd like, poke around, but if you find something you'd like to do or use then just ask the host first if it is okay.
Upstairs_Highlight25@reddit
You can take anything you like as long as you are not being wasteful or intentionally rude about what you take (don't take something that is obviously for a specific meal or event).
This one really depends but in general as long as you aren't making a huge mess or causing damage it is all good.
This-Reindeer6063@reddit
Make yourself at home just means, go ahead get comfy sit wherever. Get some drinks if you're thirsty. Yeah, turn on the TV is fine. But generally, especially in a new atmosphere, the guest still asks if they can do things. Like 'do you mind if I turn on the tv'. It's usually not a free for all and more of a everyone's trying to be polite.
It can also be different for different people. Some might say that and just mean sit down get comfy, but they don't want them going wherever. Some could mean it literally. Like, I don't care do whatever. It's really based on context
Chaseoliver@reddit
You can take anyone from the fridge but personally I would not actually do it. Like I would never actually take anything more than a can of soda, but the offer is nice
CH11DW@reddit
You should probably keep your pants on.
FilthyMindz69@reddit
When you’re at my house you can have/use anything except my bedroom and the things in it.
When I say make yourself at home, I mean it. When I say help yourself to food, bath products, alcohol, my favorite chair, that’s what it means. Mine is yours.
Senzualdip@reddit
Depends on who you are to me. Friends and family, feel free to eat pretty much anything you find, same with drink. Lounge on the couch, watch tv, go play video games, etc. Not family or close friend, feel free to do the above but ask first.
Biggest thing is bedrooms are pretty much off limits to everybody, man cave is 100% off limits unless I specifically bring you in there (too much money in guns and hunting gear to let people into it at random), and don’t dare go into my master bathroom (there’s two other bathrooms in the house, go stink up one of those).
AyAyAyBamba_462@reddit
"Make yourself at home" is a social grace. It means that a guest doesn't need to put on appearances in your house and they can act as if they lived there while maintaining the customs of that household.
Familiar-Kangaroo298@reddit
Make yourself at home: sit on the couch and make your comfortable
Take what you like: there’s things to drink in the fridge.
AmerikanerinTX@reddit
For me, it genuinely means, behave exactly as you would at your own house, but if you had guests over. You probably wouldn't walk around naked at home if you had company, so probably not a good idea to do it at my house either. You would watch tv at your own house but likely wouldnt fight your grandma for the remote.
As for food, YES! Take whatever you want. I tell all guests they are welcome to anything unless someone has written their name on it. Everything else is fair game. I dont want to wait on you hand and foot, so its best for me if you just get comfortable.
knight1096@reddit
I’m in Wisconsin. We always have “public consumption beer”, water, any of our liquor and packaged snacks in our home bar. Guests are always welcome to the public consumption stuff. If they open something in a big bottle or that is rare, the expectation is that we grab some glasses and we all share. If someone needs something substantive to eat, I’ll throw in a frozen pizza, whip up some snacks or order something. I always have Usingers sausage, cheese and crackers on hand as well as squeaky cheese curds. Since we have two beer fridges and our kitchen fridge (we have a fridge on every floor), there is no reason for anyone to be in my regular food stash but if they wanted to whip something up, I’d have no problem because I can always make a new plan. Guests are also welcome to bring beer or snacks to share. Barbecues are always pot luck but the host is expected to make the main course/meat. If you get too drunk, someone will order you an uber or you just crash in a guest bedroom and we have a hangover kit in the room along with towels and toiletries for a shower if you want it and maybe brunch is in store for you the next day. No one is coming to my house and not getting the red carpet rolled out, I would die of shame. My parents and in laws are the exact same way!
sarrrfarrr@reddit
Depends on how long you’re staying I think. Couple of hours vs couple of days could be very different. I once stayed at someone’s house for a couple of months. They were very kind and generous to let me stay, so I made myself at home by cleaning and cooking for them in return for their hospitality. I will forever be grateful to them.
PossumJenkinsSoles@reddit
I feel like it’s entirely context dependent. A lot of people will say “make yourself at home” but not mean “take off your bra and fire up the ps5” if they’ve, for example, invited you over for a baby shower.
Similarly with “help yourself to the refrigerator” drinks and snacks are probably implied, but don’t go digging into their chicken and broccoli meal prep. Even though they’ve technically given you free reign, most people mean “within reason of this situation”
mleftpeel@reddit
Lol I'm enjoying the image of attending a baby shower and sliding my bra through my arm sleeve, taking off my pants, then laying down on the couch looking at my phone while all the other guests are playing dumb shower games.
Adorable_Dust3799@reddit
Any beverage, and if you see a dessert, veggies, salami, or fruit that looks good, ask as a formality, but assume those are open nibble items
ancientastronaut2@reddit
It just means to make yourself comfortable. No need for formalities. Take your shoes off, sit down, etc. and help yourself to something to drink or a snack.
Thefutureisbrightino@reddit
Exactly what is written. You are not authorized to take anything home.
Mamapalooza@reddit
Total-Improvement535@reddit
“make yourself at home” relax and act like you would if you were in your own home (within decency reason)
“take what you want from the fridge” help yourself to my food and drinks while you’re here (but never eat the last of something without asking)
Eggsbennybb@reddit
Lmao this feels like a Seinfeld bit. As to the fridge thing:
Close family: I can take anything
Friends: Drinks/Snacks/Alcohol if in the evening
Acquaintances: Water/canned soda
TammyInViolet@reddit
Or if you are a housesitter- eat anything in there unless they specify something
SuspiciousZombie788@reddit
Kind of means different things in different situations. I would not use "make yourself at home" with anyone I did not know very well. If I do use it, I also know the person well enough to trust they have enough situational awareness to know what to do/what to take or not take from the fridge. Make yourself at home=have a seat, you know where the bathroom is, grab something to drink if you want.
Weekend BBQ with friends? Sure, grab a beer or soda or something from the fridge. Making a sandwich would be weird since I'm obviously making food to share.
My kids bringing friends over after school? Obviously don't grab a beer, but I would be fine if they grabbed snacks or even heated up a frozen pizza.
donnacus@reddit
If I were the guest I would ask. Oh I see you have slice turkey. Do you mind if I make myself a sandwich?
I would also ask if I was taking the last of something. If for no other reason than they may have more and can restock.
Bluemonogi@reddit
I would understand help yourself to mean that you would not need to ask to get something to drink. If something seems special or expensive you would not take it. If you were staying overnight it might be fine to help yourself to food. If you are only there for a few hours maybe some snack food as long as it is not special, scarce or expensive. You still probably wouldn’t cook a steak you found in the refrigerator without checking.
Make yourself at home might mean use the bathroom, use the tv, take your shoes off, relax. It does not mean feel free to go through drawers, closets, cabinets or use someone’s personal items like clothing without asking. If you are staying overnight or a longer visit it might mean it is fine to use the shower and shampoo or the washing machine as you need. AI’d probably still check on a lot of stuff.
Puzzled-Bench2805@reddit
In reality they don’t mean much. They’re polite gestures which people don’t truly expect you to take literally. They want you to feel relaxed, and they want you to feel free to get your own drinks and snacks. They don’t want you to start eating a meal from the fridge typically nor do they want you to truly be as relaxed as you would be at home in most scenarios.
DaisyCutter312@reddit
"Take what you like from the fridge"
For this, personally, I wouldn't ever take the last of something, open something that was unopened, or attempt to cook something.
PepinoSupremo@reddit
Usually if there’s something specific, like a cake that Mom is saving for the bake sale, alcohol, etc it will be noted. “Help yourself to anything in the fridge - just don’t touch the cake for tomorrow!” Otherwise, yeah eat anything in the fridge/pantry/whatever.
that-Sarah-girl@reddit
Or the reverse. Someone might name the things that you can help yourself to. Drinks and snacks are in the fridge, help yourself. Now you know you can take a beer or a string cheese but don't take the raw ingredients for tomorrow's dinner.
Completely-Lost9@reddit
The fridge, anything is fair game except probably a leftover container. Make yourself at home means literally act like you're at home and get comfortable just don't trash my couch or leave garbage lying around
redditsuckspokey1@reddit
Mi casa, su casa
redjessa@reddit
In my house, it means, relax, be comfortable and "help yourself to anything in the fridge" means exactly that. If I say that, or I would say: "Help yourself to anything in the kitchen," that means they can literally have whatever they want. They can take the last soda, drink the beer, eat the snacks, fix a sandwich, whatever.
XuWiiii@reddit
I pretty much have had sex in every spot of my home. So make yourself at home means?
NeverRarelySometimes@reddit
Don't go into my bedroom closets and drawers. Don't use my toothbrush. Don't sleep in my bed. Do eat and drink and make yourself comfortable. Browse the book case, but do not remove my books from my home. Use my appliances, but clean up after yourself. Ask for things you need.
Random_Reddit99@reddit
If I say, "make yourself at home", it also means, "help yourself to anything in the fridge"...which should be a given.
As with most interactions with people, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". If you're a guest in my home, I expect you to make yourself comfortable...and that includes making yourself a sandwich, turning on the TV, or opening a bottle of wine, using the bathroom, or taking a nap in the guest room if you so desire...
There are of course logical limitations...if I say "help yourself to anything in the fridge" to an early guest or to a friend picking me up to go to a party and there's a dish obviously meant for dinner or dessert, yeah, don't touch that. Don't go through personal documents in my office. Don't go into rooms of other people who haven't given you permission to enter. Other than that, literally make youself at home...ie. do as you would if you were living here. Respect other people's personal space but if it's in the common area, it's fair game.
Butter_mah_bisqits@reddit
Yep, if you come my house, it’s a free for all. You are our guest. You can peruse the fridge and freezer and I will make something for you or leave you to your own devices.
These-Ad5332@reddit
"Make yourself at home" to me means let's drop formalities and relax. Take off your coat/jacket take off your shoes, curl up on the couch instead of sitting grimly.
"Take what you want from the fridge" If you want a drink go get it. Want specific chips I didn't put out? Go get them. Still hungry? Have a snack. See babybel cheese and want one? Have it.
Quack_Mode@reddit
you can make the coffee yourself.
cleverburrito@reddit
I explicitly say what ISN’T up for grabs “Have anything you like except for this particular bottle of balsamic vinegar because…, but literally anything else is all yours. You can have all of anything. Take the least cookie. Whatever you want.”
I do the same thing if someone is staying at my place and I have to leave for whatever period of time “I don’t have secrets in my house. Feel free to search my drawers and look in my medicine cabinet if you get bored”… but I take my journal with me.
z44212@reddit
The only time this backfired was when a guest reconfigured my family room AV setup to play a gaming console they brought, but didn't return it to its regular configuration.
Repeatedly.
I found that annoying.
WhompTrucker@reddit
Take whatever food you'd like but don't eat everything and I always leave the last one. Make yourself comfortable, watch TV or play games. Just don't be a slob
Bastyra2016@reddit
It means what it sounds like and it’s on the host to say: don’t eat the takeout -it’s a week old and I’ve meant to throw it out or it’s for partners lunch tomorrow. They should also explain if the visit involves any planned event. Like help yourself- I’ve got some Swedish meatballs in a crockpot I figured we could munch on as we go over our planned vacation next month.
The only limits on TV,gaming would be what the friendship is based on. I wouldn’t expect a casual work associate who came over to get help with his computer to sit down in the recliner and turn on Fox News. But your best friend who you routinely game with might fire up the Xbox.
trustme1maDR@reddit
It means, if you need a drink or a snack, don't ask permission, just go get it. Sit wherever you want in the living room and get comfortable.
egggoat@reddit
Take whatever you want, especially alcohol! I also have a bowl of thc gummies for anyone to grab from. I want people to be relaxed and happy and if they partake in either of those substances I want them to be able to. I personally don’t drink anymore and i rarely get high but I’m fully stocked for guests to enjoy.
Take your shoes off, put your feet up, get comfortable. Here’s the bathroom. Here’s the kitchen. There’s a guest bed down the hall if you get sleepy.
Truly, make yourself at home and take what you want from the fridge.
spf20214757@reddit
Grab a beer or soda, snacks like chips, etc. sit on the sofa and watch tv or sit on the deck. Stuff like that.
milliemargo@reddit
I live in the midwest and it's kind of a weird dance haha. Being a good host means offering everything, and being a good guest feels means not taking too much. Here's how I conduct myself as a guest in a cookout/dinner/casual get-together:
"Take what you want from the fridge" means that's where the drinks are. Soda and water are always up for grabs. If it's in 2L I'll ask for a cup, and make sure I wash it when I'm done. But usually people have cans or disposable cups when inviting company.
I'll usually not grab alcohol unless it's directly offered or obviously for the guests. But most people follow up with listing their drink options or, if it's a drinking occasion, often will tell you to grab a beer. It's kind of weird to drink if the hosts aren't drinking though.
"Make yourself at home" means be comfortable without being a burden. You should graciously accept amenities, but keep up after your own mess. You use something, put it back. You make trash, you ask where the trash can is and throw it out. You should do this automatically.
When food or drinks are open to everyone, and there's only one of something left, it's good etiquette to ask if anyone else wants it before you take it. "Anyone want the last piece of pizza?" or "Anyone want this last budweiser?" If someone wants it instead, give it to them. But 9/10 times everyone knows you want it and will let you snag it
It's also good etiquette to offer to help in the kitchen or with the dishes after dinner. The host will either give you something to do or tell you to sit down and relax. If they refuse help, ask "are you sure?" one time. Don't be pushy about helping, but just make the offer genuine. Whether they accept it or not, it goes a long way in showing your gratitude.
I'd say being a good host and being a good guest is about mutual respect. Provide to your guests so they want for nothing, and don't be a burden on the host by giving them extra cleaning.
Pizzarocco@reddit
When someone tells you to grab yourself a beer from the fridge, they absolutely do NOT mean grab the lone Pliny the Elder. That was embarrassing
wieldymouse@reddit
Anything reasonable. Not the $500 bottle of alcohol or the last of a special edition soda.
sdduuuude@reddit
If you think you might be overstepping the offer, just ask - "OK if I have one of these beers?"
Or, "Can I fire up the Nintendo ?"
silentsnak3@reddit
Make yourself at home = Take your shoes off and coat (if cold out) and have a seat. Just do not take the best seat unless it is offered. Most of the time you can tell which seating is for guest and which is for the owner. Make yourself at home does not mean go to others bedrooms or just get up and wonder like you would at your house. If you need to use the bathroom, ask politely where it is. If you would like a tour of the home, ask first.
Help yourself to anything in the fridge = This is more of an invitation to look in the fridge. If you want something out of it, ask. So if you see a can of Coke and you want one, just ask. I would not go as far as asking for food unless it is offered though. Also each time you finish a drink and would like another, always ask first. And maybe offer to get the owner a drink while you are in there.
Of course if you become friends and go over to their hose often, these rules do not apply. I have friends that I will go get a beer out of the fridge while never asking. But they can do the same at my home.
Triscuitmeniscus@reddit
One thing I haven’t seen explained yet: often we say this to mean “I’m not going to wait on you hand and foot or actively entertain you right now, so if you want something to eat or drink get it yourself. Don’t ask me if you can sit down or turn on the tv, just do it.”
Not in a mean way, more of a “I trust you not to fuck up my house, just do what you want while I finish getting dressed” way.
thewizardsbaker11@reddit
For the fridge, I’d generally assume that means take anything, but it might be weird for you to start cooking or preparing something elaborate. Also I’d double check before finishing or opening the last of anything. Also if the person lives with roommates I would ask before eating anything they didn’t specify.
Make yourself at home is more specific to the situation but the tv and anything in common areas is generally fair game. I would stay away from things in individual bedrooms, closed closets or drawers unless specified
Devilfish64@reddit
Solid answers here already. Since you specifically mentioned alcohol, I'll add in that single-serving cans or bottles of beer or cider are usually fair game.
Already opened bottles of liquor or wine are also probably fine (this may be a gray area), but definitely ask before opening any unopened bottles.
latin220@reddit
Make yourself feel comfortable. Take off your shoes. Grab something from the fridge. Put something on the tv if nobody’s watching. Ever hear the expression, “Mi casa es su casa.” It means my house is your house. Americans are very welcoming usually providing snacks and food for their guests and it’s seen as offensive if you don’t partake. Even just drinking water will make most guests happy. I know my mom always made my friends happy when she brought out the snacks and insisted they eat! My moms would say, “You’re too skinny and you guys have to eat!” She’d also be telling everyone to relax. I remember one time one my of my friends took a shower at my place cause he came from a game and stank. My mom was like, “shower now!” and got him to wear some of my clothes while she washed his clothes. My mom went above and beyond, but that’s normal for Latin families and American families tend to be similar in their hospitality.
jessper17@reddit
For me it means a person is welcome to anything in the regular fridge, the beer fridge, the snack basket, and the booze cabinet. People don’t usually bother with the tv. If they want to do a blanket fort on the couch, great. Otherwise mostly all I care about is people not going in my office or my bedroom.
StrangerHighways@reddit
This really depends on a lot of factors like the personality of the homeowner, the duration of stay of the guest, and maybe how well the guest knows the homeowner.
I'd say the absolute limits are that you Never go through someone's medicine cabinet or private bedroom spaces like closet, drawers, or laying on their bed.
dougalcampbell@reddit
It means we want you to be at ease. If you want a glass of water, a soda, a snack, or perhaps even a beer or glass of wine, feel free to get them for yourself without asking every time.
But also, use some common sense. If there’s a bottle of wine in the fridge that hasn’t been opened yet, it’s still polite to ask if it’s okay to open it. They could be saving it for dinner or for a special occasion. Likewise for booze/cocktails — ask first, just to be polite. They’ll probably tell you it’s fine. It’s probably a good rule of thumb to always ask before breaking into anything that hasn’t already been opened, if it’s not already packaged at the individual serving level.
Do: feel free to get yourself a soda or glass of orange juice.
Don’t: open up the still-sealed bottle of 25 year scotch.
Do: turn on the television and look for something to watch (if it wont disturb anyone else in the room).
Don’t: walk around nude.
Do: tidy up your sleeping quarters each morning.
Don’t: cook a pot of spaghetti sauce and leave the mess for your hosts to clean up.
drumzandice@reddit
When I say "help yourself to anything" I mean anything....alcohol, food, whatever they need.
beebeesy@reddit
It pretty much means anything. However, if it is the last of something or something more expensive, you ask to be polite. Also depends on the environment and your relationship with the people.
It means just that. Get comfy. Grab a blanket, a comfy seat, watch some TV, play with my dog, etc. Obviously don't be rude or disrespectful though.
Depending on the environment and relationship with the person is where the limit is. Obviously don't go into the kitchen of someone you just met and make a full meal. Like if you came into my house, you could hang out on the couch, check out the fish tanks, grab a bev, play with my cats, etc. I'd offer you food, snacks, whatever too. However, it would be weird if you started really snooping or rearranging things. But if we have been friends for a long time, most rules go out the door.
thebravekingamelia@reddit
Some people are putting down a lot of caveats, so I’ll give mine as simply as possible.
Make yourself at home means you have the rights of a person living there without a bedroom. You may use all of the general living spaces freely.
For the fridge it’s more literal. They can have anything in the fridge. If i have told them to make themselves at home as well, yes, it’s ok for them to start cooking.
The key is to only say it when you mean it.
Common-Parsnip-9682@reddit
In my family we say “you have a hunting license” to help yourself to anything you want to eat or drink. Usually used more for overnight/long term guests so they can feel free to grab a snack or get cereal or whatever out of the cupboard at any time.
Ok_Caterpillar2010@reddit
"Make yourself at home" means don't wait for me to invite you to sit down, and don't feel like you're a formal guest who must ask before touching anything. If you're cold while we're watching TV, pull the throw blanket over yourself without waiting for me to offer, for example. You can take more and more liberties the longer your stay is. For instance, if you're over for an afternoon, do not start cooking dinner because you're hungry. If you're staying for 3 weeks, sure, help yourself to my pots and pans. It does not mean you can examine the contents of my closet no matter how long you're a guest. So don't be nosy, but help yourself to what you need.
"Help yourself to anything in the fridge" means take what you want without asking me. That means prepared foods, snacks, drinks.... It does not mean pull out the chicken I was going to make for dinner and start cooking it, unless, again, you're a long-term guest who's trying to do your share of the work. But you don't have to wait for me to offer you a cold drink or a yogurt or whatever every time you want one. It is polite not to take the last whatever-it-is unless you buy more as a gift for your host.
captainstormy@reddit
The thing about Americans that most other people don't get is that we say what we mean.
When we say help yourself to anything in the fridge, that's what we mean. You want a can of coke? Grab it. You wanna make a sandwich, go for it. You wanna have some of my scotch? Enjoy.
AllPeopleAreStupid@reddit
Growing up our house, policy was literally take anything from the fridge you want. People did.
Facefullofbees@reddit
Make yourself at home to me means get comfortable, no need for formality. Grab a blanket, pet a cat, no need to ask if you need to use the restroom. Take a shower if you want, though maybe ask so I can make sure you have a towel / wash cloth
Take what you want from the fridge means anything you want in there, just don't go grocery shopping. I'm going to be annoyed if I see you taking my eggs and milk home, though I can't imagine anyone would do that
MundaneHuckleberry58@reddit
Make yourself at home means sit where you like, kick your shoes off, ask for anything you need.
Help yourself to the fridge in my house means just that. Make a sandwich or a drink of any kind, you can finish off the chips, whatever I have is free for the taking.
abcedarian@reddit
It's a way of
A. Offering you reasonable accommodation for the situation (make yourself at home does not mean take a bath if you're here for a party, for example- but it would if you were staying multiple days!)
And
B. Gentle notification that you are not likely to be waited on hand and foot while you're here. It's not a formal event where I'll be asking each person what they'd like to drink and bringing it to them.
It's a declaration of informal welcome
FairBaker315@reddit
I usually say something like "help yourself to the drinks in the fridge, the ice cream sandwiches in the freezer and the snacks on the table" to clarify what items are up for grabs.
BasedTaco_69@reddit
1 Grab a coke
2 don’t touch the TV unless you’re asked to.
quitealargeorangecat@reddit
You seriously don’t let guests use your TV?
mazzimar7@reddit
I only say those things when I mean them literally. My friends are basically family and I want them to feel comfortable and unrestricted in my house. They are welcome to anything I have to offer and I dont want them to feel like they need to ask permission for every move they make. I'm also treated the same way in their homes and it just makes us so comfortable with each other and in each other's spaces.
sean8877@reddit
I take "make yourself at home" to mean strip down to your underwear and sprawl out on the couch.
GrimSpirit42@reddit
I can answer the second. I only have one rule in my house concerning food: If there's food in the house, you're welcome to it.
My daughter's new boyfriend (now son-in-law) learned early on. He worked up the courage to ask if he could have a coke.
I replied: "Don't ask. Just open up the fridge and grab what you want."
Took him awhile, but he got used to it. We even stock some of his favorite drinks.
And yes, it does include alcohol, but it's always prudent to ask about that (we're not big drinkers).
ShoddyCobbler@reddit
Make yourself at home means: you can put your stuff aside and not carry everything around (like hang up your jacket and purse, or take off your shoes), choose a seat, feel free to go to the bathroom or kitchen, you can get yourself a drink/snack if you are comfortable with that or you can feel free to ask me for something.
Take what you like from the fridge means: literally get what you want. Feel free to grab a drink or snack. It might be kinda weird to make a full meal unprompted, but if you want to get a snack from the fridge or pantry, go for it
IconoclastExplosive@reddit
Make yourself at home is infuriatingly contextual, in my opinion. I take it more literally than most people, I will raid your kitchen and sleep on your couch and walk your dog and do the dishes and nearly anything else I please. Sometimes people love that I'm so comfortable, sometimes they get mad. As far as I'm concerned, I'm doing what I was told.
Helping yourself to the fridge is literal.
evil_burrito@reddit
Sit where you want and, if you want something to eat or drink, go get it yourself.
Black_Dog_Industries@reddit
Make yourself at home means sit wherever you’d like, take a dump in my bathroom, take a shower if you need to.
Help yourself to anything in the fridge means grab a soda or a beer, make a sandwich, have some frozen food.
Regardless of what the host says, you should ask about expensive stuff or thc drinks and edibles. Like don’t open a new bottle of expensive liquor without asking first.
You should also clean up after yourself.
CommitteeofMountains@reddit
Much like with your own family, free access to the fridge has conditions of within reason. If it looks like a personal treat or tucked away for special occasion/meal, don't grab it for a snack.
Unique_Let_2880@reddit
This is the answer. Anything that your family wouldn’t be annoyed you took. (So nothing obviously expensive or clearly being saved.)
Poupoo42@reddit
I normally have people over to watch a sporting event or movie so when I say "make yourself at home" I pretty much want you to treat this like your house. Raid my pantry, fridge, and liquor cabinet to your hearts content. Sit wherever you want. Only rule I tell people, or more of a warning, is don't spill anything on the couch otherwise you will feel the wrath of my wife lol.
MonteCristo85@reddit
It usually mean grabbing drinks and snacks freely.
Doesnt usually mean make your own meals. And you wouldnt eat something that looks special, or a very small amount of.
theycallmethevault@reddit
Make yourself at home: sit anywhere, cuddle up on the couch with a blanket if you want, need to take a nap-I’ve got a spare room, get comfy.
Take what you want from the fridge: have at it-make yourself a sandwich, take any beverage, have a snack, but let me help you since I know where everything is. I wouldn’t say you can have a go at the fridge or pantry if I didn’t mean it. But since you’re making yourself at home I can just guide you to anything you’re interested in.
rexeditrex@reddit
In Spanish it's "Mi casa es su casa". It's telling someone exactly what you said - make yourself at home, don't think you need to ask to get a drink or something, etc. But, the degree to which you can truly make yourself at home has more to do with familiarity.
timeonmyhandz@reddit
I tell people if you can find it, you can eat it or drink it...
ApprehensiveSkill573@reddit
If I tell someone that, I literally mean "Act like you live here and help yourself to anything I have". But there are only a few select people I'd say that to.
Certain-Monitor5304@reddit
Make yourself comfortable, but don't act like a wild animal.
frickenfantastic@reddit
Depends entirely upon the person making the offer.
I’m much more literal than many of my cohorts, so if I say, make yourself at home, I mean, do whatever you want like my home is your home. If I come in, find you naked on my couch drinking milk directly out of the container that’s on me because I told you to make yourself at home. I wouldn’t be upset at all. However, for other Americans, it likely depends on their cultural expectations.
Personally, I get very frustrated when people have implied cultural expectations as if we all came from the same place
wheninrome5000@reddit (OP)
I feel like this might not be all Americans
Inside-Try-394@reddit
It is intended to be a polite friendly welcome. With it you should feel free to spread out on the couch. If it’s a guy he is probably intending to extend beer drinking privileges. Polite guest rules exist no matter how long or dear you are and that means asking to make sure. “I am starving, would it be ok to make a sandwich and help myself to a beer?”
TheOfficialKramer@reddit
I was told to take anything from the fridge or pantry once. I went and grabbed bins and stocked up! I still go back when I'm out of something. If they are out of it too, I leave a note.
Silkies4life@reddit
Use whatever chair you want, kick your shoes off, flip on the tv if you’re bored. Get what you want from the fridge usually means just grab whatever you want to drink, could be beer, soda, iced tea.
Impossible_Memory_85@reddit
It polite talk for sit down but don’t do anything and by all means if you go into my fridge I will slap you.
pawsplay36@reddit
What is wrong with you? There is no social expectation you have to say "Anything in the fridge." You could just way, "Bottled water is in the fridge." Or say nothing, if you don't want to offer anything. Or ostentatiously pour a pitcher of ice water and set it in the table. If someone does that, I ain't asking for shit.
Legitimate_Team_9959@reddit
Um, no. Why say it if it's not okay with you? I mean it. But generally I offer what I have, " I have xyz or zyx for snacks, do you want anything?"
Impossible_Memory_85@reddit
There’s a difference between offering “hey would you like a xyz” and getting it for them vs actually going into someone’s fridge and free ranging it.
Legitimate_Team_9959@reddit
Yep, but I wouldn't say help yourself, either. If I did I would expect them to rifle through my fridge
One_Recover_673@reddit
Take dump, shave…maybe shower if needed
wheninrome5000@reddit (OP)
seriously?
pawsplay36@reddit
If someone says make yourself at home, and you are there long enough you would require your daily shower, yes. As a guest, I'd probably ask first to make sure I wasn't messing up someone's routine.
One_Recover_673@reddit
No. Although that would be a dream.
Raddatatta@reddit
I mean the limits are generally be respectful and don't go to excessive levels and you can't take anything with you. Most of the time I would also try to bring at least something to contribute. Generally when I get together with friends we will all bring something and everything is open for anyone who wants it. So if I bring beer those are for everyone, but I'm also free to have the food that others brought or visa versa. And you should be good as long as you're polite. I would try not to snoop just because they said make yourself at home that doesn't mean look through their medicine cabinet or bedroom. But something like turn on the TV or play video games that's fine. But I would expect to be participating with the group in general. But if you're spending the night then yeah you can watch TV or play video games.
HotCommission7325@reddit
My personal rule when I’m a guest in this scenario is no alcohol, and nothing that’s still packaged. So I’m not going to bust open a pack of fancy cheese or something. But a can of coke, or some toast with jam, sure shouldn’t be a big deal
bourbonandcheese@reddit
I dunno, if I tell you to make yourself at home and take anything from the fridge I would definitely mean feel free to grab a beer, and I'm probably likely to grab one if I find myself in that situation as well.
HotCommission7325@reddit
Id be totally fine with guests drinking my booze if they’re staying at my home, but I’m always worried about accidentally getting into somebody else’s $300 bottle of bourbon that I didn’t realize was so experience lmao.
But for beer, yeah that’s a good point, it’s not much different than taking a can of coke
doinkest@reddit
One time when I was still living at my parents (as an adult), they had a neighborhood get together. Of course we always say help yourself to anything in the fridge to all guests, but one neighbor drank my entire bottle of Jack Daniels and got belligerently drunk at our chill little “party.” I would say that was out of line and taking the “take anything in the fridge” a step too far. I do think there are implied limitations on the phrase and that it’s social etiquette to not go too far or take advantage of the offer.
pawsplay36@reddit
Take anything doesn't mean take everything, LOL. Wow!
pawsplay36@reddit
If I can't get you to take a beer or help me dispose of leftovers, I'm going to be coming around to encourage you again. :)
Peachtree-1865@reddit
Make yourself at home = do what my family does if my kids run around let your kid join / if I put my feet on the table or couch so can you / you want to sleep or nap or shower go ahead I’ll let you use the good towels
Help yourself to the fridge = take anything thing you want except my family’s cooked meals You can name a sandwich drink the juice eat some cheese have a beer whatever is in there you can have it
Substantial-Peak6624@reddit
Well, you know who you can say that to usually and who to never say that to. They can help themselves, and I Wouldn’t deny them food. The TV is off limits for the most part unless it is agreed by all.
CantCreateUsernames@reddit
"Make yourself at home" is more of an expression to help guests lower their guard and feel more welcome in the home. It is not literal, of course, and all the general rules of etiquette of being polite and respectful in someone else's home still apply. They might say "make yourself at home" when they invite you to sit down in the living room, and you can use that as an opportunity to ask if they have any water, coffee, tea, drinks, etc. I would not read too much into that phrase, because it is used so often.
"Help yourself to anything in the fridge" is a little more complex. I would say how you interpret it depends on how familiar you are with the home and its inhabitants. If it is your first time visiting, I would treat it more like "make yourself at home," as in they are just trying to make you feel more welcome, but they are also indicating that they are willing to provide you with the beverages and food they have on hand. I personally would not look through someone's fridge if I did not already have some familiarity with them, unless they walked over to the fridge with me to show me what was in it. Now, if you are familiar with the people in the home, you can interpret it more literally: you are welcome to walk to the fridge without them present and select a beverage or snack of your choice. However, the expectation is that you take only a limited amount of beverages or food. You generally cannot just take out an entire meal's worth of food and start prepping it yourself in the kitchen. Overall, how you interpret "help yourself to anything in the fridge" depends on the context and your level of familiarity with the homeowners/renters.
FreeStateOfPortland@reddit
I usually say “make yourself at home“ when it’s someone who’s going to stay at my home for a couple of days. And for me that would definitely mean watch TV play video games put your feet up, etc..
“Help yourself to anything in the fridge” means exactly that. Take whatever you want. If there were something I really didn’t want to be eaten I would just tell the person what it was.
Psyko_sissy23@reddit
Depends on the guest/host relationship. For some people, I'd take anything except their expensive(or hard to acquire) alcohol and anything they deemed off limits such as claimed leftovers or something intended for a party coming up. I'd let my close friends and family do the same if I was the host.
For people I knew less and haven't been over to their house much, I'd grab something to drink and something small for a snack unless they offered more.
CurlyDee@reddit
Very context dependent.
When our pet sitter stays overnight with our dogs and cat, we want her to enjoy her stay as much as possible. She can get into the $300 Scotch if she likes. She can sleep in our bed (we put fresh sheets on for her).
When a friend comes over for an afternoon, those words mean, “kick off your shoes, get comfortable, grab something to drink or eat.”
weedgoblin69@reddit
make yourself at home = take your shoes off, put your feet up, move the couch pillows around if you need to, feel free to open the kitchen cupboards and get yourself a glass if you need one. wouldn't be super weird to turn on the tv or a video game console if they've been to your house before.
i don't usually say/hear "help yourself to anything in the fridge" because my friends and i are kinda young and broke and we don't have a lot of extra food around, but "make yourself at home" also means feel free to ask me if i have any snacks or beverages up for grabs
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jessipowers@reddit
Take from the fridge- nothing that requires prepping ingredients or more heat than a microwave. So, anything to drink, any snacks, stuff like that.
Make yourself at home- take your shoes off and get comfortable. Help yourself to food or drinks or ask if you’re uncomfortable. If you’re cold, here’s a blanket.
17Girl4Life@reddit
I only make that offer to close friends who are visiting from out of town and it means they can feel free to find snacks or beverages or whatever while I’m working in my home office. I don’t have off limit items in my fridge. And it’s totally fine for them to turn on the tv.
I host out of town guests very often and I can’t take off work every single time, so I want them to be comfortable, and to feel free to come and go, while I’m occupied. Meals are usually still shared though.
If a local friend is visiting for the afternoon, though, I’m not saying help yourself. Not because I want to limit what they consume, but because I prefer to be an active host when I can. I’d rather serve them than make them fend for themselves.
fakesaucisse@reddit
When I host people I will show them the drink fridge and wine rack and say "help yourself to whatever you'd like." I guess I might point out a specific bottle of wine that is being saved for another occasion but otherwise guests are free to have anything.
I don't really keep snacks around but if I'm serving something where condiments are used I will tell guests to help themselves to any of those in the fridge.
"Make yourself at home" is an invitation to sit wherever you're comfortable, take your shoes off if you'd like, loosen your pants if we just had a big meal, turn on the TV or connect to the wireless speaker for music, etc.
I generally don't invite people into my home unless I know them well enough where I know they won't do something really weird with these offers.
mckenzie_keith@reddit
There is some context here. If the host is still present, then "make yourself at home" really just means sit down and relax. "Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge" probably only applies to beverages.
But if the host is going to be gone, then it is more expansive. "I have to finish up something in the garage. Shouldn't take more than 30 minutes. Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge." In that case, making a sandwich might actually be reasonable. And certainly "make yourself at home" means feel free to turn on the TV or use the toilet, etc.
Also, sometimes you might say something like this to a house sitter or overnight guest. In that case, it means treat this place like it is your home. Take a shower, watch TV, etc. And also in that case, help yourself to whatever is in the fridge really means help yourself to whatever is in the fridge.
TheKiddIncident@reddit
If you're staying for a few days, then "make yourself at home" basically means you don't have to ask to use the bathroom or shower, etc... Normally, if I am in someone's house I am not going to just randomly take a shower. But if I "make myself at home" I would just do my normal morning routine, shave, shower, etc. in the bathroom that they told me to use. No need to ask. On the other hand, I'm not going into their master suite and use their bathroom unless explicitly told that was OK.
"Help yourself to to the fridge" means that I'm not going to ask you every five minutes if you want a snack or something. If you are hungry or thirsty, help yourself. So, grab a coke or some fruit. I don't expect you to suddenly whip up a gourmet meal.
Generally, my rule is that if I am in someone else's house, I will "help myself" to what they are doing. So, if we are having cocktails and they leave all the mixers out, I will make myself one. But if they run out of Vodka, I'm not going to rummage around the cabinets looking for another bottle. I would ask first.
Same with food. If there are bunch of apples in there, I would help myself. If there is only one, I would probably ask first. Etc.
FataMorganaForReal@reddit
Everything within reason. Don't strip down to your undies and pull stuff out of the fridge and start making pancakes or anything crazy. Unless you never want to be invited back.
Grab another couch pillow, or throw blanket if you're cold. Feel free to grab a drink or a snack. Be comfortable, but you're still a guest.
Leather_Rate_9785@reddit
I'm Lenape, when you're in my home, my food is your food, period. It would be extremely rude for me not to offer you something to eat even if your visit is unexpected.
That said, the unspoken rule is not to take advantage of others. It would be quite rude for you to start filling a sack with my groceries, for instance.
I rarely tell people to "make themselves at home", but I think that's because I'm a rather 'attentive' host, perhaps too attentive. I'm unlikely to leave a guest to their own devices long enough to relax because I feel the need to constantly entertain. I think that's just a me thing though, not really cultural.
uvaspina1@reddit
It means: I’m not your server, if you want something to eat or drink go get it yourself.
No_Masterpiece663@reddit
Don’t tell me that or you will have zero beer left.
pawsplay36@reddit
"Take what you like from the fridge" means there is nothing in the fridge that is being reserved for someone else or saved for later. Literally, eat or drink anything you find there.
pawsplay36@reddit
If sandwich makings were off limits, then the drinks would be in a cooler and the salad or fruit tray would be in the table. If all those things are in the fridge, the host intends for you to snack out of the fridge, without hesitation.
thechurchchick@reddit
It means exactly what it says… make yourself at home… act like you would in your own home. You don’t need to ask.
EagleEyezzzzz@reddit
help yourself - feel free to eat anything in the fridge or in the cupboards. Use dishes. Fend for yourself.
make yourself at home - turn on the tv, play video games, lounge on the couch, take a shower, whatever.
Concentrate_Previous@reddit
I've never heard "take anything you like from the fridge" as a statement. This is not a common phrase here.
dangleicious13@reddit
"Make yourself at home": Relax. Feel free to take you shoes/coat off. Find a comfy spot on the couch. Restroom is --> way. Etc.
"Take what you like from the fridge": Take what you like from the fridge/pantry/counter. If something looks super special/expensive, maybe ask first.
killingourbraincells@reddit
Means make yourself at home. Don't be afraid to help yourself to anything you might need! Obviously, there's basic house rules to follow like if the host requests no shoes inside, but wearing shoes inside is normal for you, you follow the hosts rule as it's their home.
Take what you want out of the fridge! However, if it's the last of anything, just give them a reminder or ask if it's ok to have the last beer/coke, or whatever it is. Acts as a "heyyy, you've run out of this item".
pawsplay36@reddit
Yes, if there is only one of something, the host may not have thought of it, or it might belong to someone else who isn't offering it. But if there are two or more of anything in the fridge, "Take anything in the fridge" includes those items.
Perdendosi@reddit
Context matters here.
"I'm running late; make yourself at home" said to a good friend while the homeowner finishes getting ready for them both to go out means do whatever you'd like to be comfortable while waiting. That would include turning on the TV or relaxing in whatever way. But you're not rifling through stuff or napping, etc.
"Make yourself at home" said to a casual acquaintance when they arrive at a cocktail party or dinner party would essentially mean to take advantage of whatever is out in the party--if there's beer available, you can have some and you're not restricted to what you brought.
"Make yourself at home" said to a babysitter would mean that the babysitter would have free reign of anything in the house -- tv, videogames, the kitchen to cook, etc.--while the babysitter is there.
"help yourself to anything in the fridge" again would be context-dependent. If it's at a cocktail party, it's going to be assumed to be drinks only-food for a party will be brought out. If it's your friend waiting for you to get ready, or your best friends coming over to watch a movie, it'll be basically any finger food (but maybe you could ask permission to make a sandwich). If it's the babysitter, it means anything you want, including assembling something or cooking.
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
My parents always said, "The first time, you're a guest. The second time, you're family." That meant:
Help yourself to whatever; you don't need to ask. It might be kind of odd if you raided the freezer and started cooking a roast or something, but nobody ever did that lol.
We're not waiting on you. If you want a drink, you know where the glasses are and the water/juice/other drinks are.
We had a friend stay with us who helped himself to a large slice of homemade pie in the middle of the night. My mom was just happy he liked the pie.
Notyerdaddy@reddit
Make yourself at home means to be comfortable, not just as a guest but as family. Help yourself to the fridge also means that. Grab a coke, make a snack, have a cookie, etc. . Just remember, although we want you to be comfortable, you are still a guest. Indulging your muckbang fantasies at the expense of your hosts, or lounging around messing up the house, putting your shoes on the ofa is a good way to get you disinvited. We want to treat you like family but expect you to behave like a wonderful house guest.
shammy_dammy@reddit
Depends. How long is the visit? If it's short, it means take a can of coke. No prowling for snacks, maybe take a beer if there are beers visible If it's a short visit, then no, you leave the TV alone, you're there to visit, not ignore the host. Longer stays change things, but imply you're either a family member or close friend.
siestarrific@reddit
'Make yourself at home' means 'be comfortable', like taking off your shoes, sitting down wherever, just relaxing. Doesn't give you license to sleep in their bed or use their toothbrush.
'Take what you like from the fridge' means 'take what you like from the fridge but use SOME discretion depending on our relationship and what I have in the fridge'.
PvtDipwad@reddit
Pre packaged items are free game. Beer, snacks, soda, water, etc.. If you want to make something to eat, usually you'd ask but most people wouldn't mind as long as you clean up after yourself. I wouldn't even be mad if you cleaned up but left the dishes for me.
Take your coat, shoes, etc. off and get comfy on the couch or a chair you like. I usually expect to catch up with people coming over so I'd be thrown off by the TV coming on unless we were hanging out to watch something, but wouldn't be offended by it. Playing games same thing, but I'd be slightly offended if it wasn't expected. Like you came over just to play my games dude?
A lot of Americans will tolerate a lot of stuff. Biggest piece of advice would be to just ask when you want to get/do something. We are overpolite because there are so many different customs that it just makes sense to ask what goes for each specific household.
Quirky-Invite7664@reddit
Make yourself at home = take your shoes off, relax on the sofa
juan_humano@reddit
This is, like all things american, regional and not necessarily literal. However, I think its not uncommon across the American spectrum to take the guest/host relationship seriously. Make yourself at home means don't worry too much about decorum, just act like you are here all the time and belong because thats what the host wants. Take anything from the fridge is generally a common sense thing. Dont put the mustard in your purse, dont take that special bottle of wine thats in the back, but anything relatively common and will be consumed immediately is open to you.
jseego@reddit
It's pretty much just what it says, but it's also still considered polite to ask just to make sure.
"Make yourself at home, help yourself to the fridge."
"Thanks, is it cool if I grab a beer and turn on the TV?"
"Sure!"
OneNerdyLesbian@reddit
"Make yourself at home" is telling a guest to make themselves comfortable, as if it's their own home. In reality, the guests shouldn't act exactly like it's their own home. They shouldn't just get up and go sleep in the home owner's bedroom for example, but it's said to be polite and welcoming.
"Help yourself to anything in the fridge" is usually referring to drinks and means you can get something to drink. I would assume it means a non-alcoholic drink unless I was directly offered alcohol. I'd also expect someone to specifically offer food if they wanted guests to have food.
Sometimes people will say "help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen" though, and I would take that to mean that I can take food. That's less common, though, in my experience. The last time I had someone say that to me was probably when I was a teenager and having a sleepover at a friend's house. If someone is going to offer food to guests, it's more common for them to offer something specific instead of letting the guests raid the cabinets/fridge themselves.
Jazzlike_Scientist_7@reddit
Help yourself to anything from the fridge conveys a less formal or longer term visit. If you were coming over for a dinner party or something like that, the norm would be that things would be set out.
jephph_@reddit
It means pretend like you live here. Anything that’s up for grabs in a typical household is up for grabs in this one
Yes, turn on the TV. Grab a snack. Etc
Probably ask before you start cooking up a meal or making cocktails
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
Pretty much what it sounds like. We sometimes have friends over that are like family. They always ask while they are browsing in the fridge to be sure it's okay to have something.
Bigmtnskier91@reddit