Those who are childfree by choice, do you ever feel sad or regret your decision?

Posted by bigpussystance@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 136 comments

I’m only 27 (F) about to be 28 and I’ve kind of decided children aren’t for me mainly due to I guess paranoia about how my own health would affect being a mother.

I’ve had severe depression for over 15 years and hurt myself in the past and have been suicidal before. Thankfully I don’t harm myself anymore or have thoughts of ending it, but I still get periods of intense depression, emptiness and sadness that I can barely function and I feel it would be unfair to project that onto a kid when I project it sometimes onto friends or family unintentionally and it’s hard to sometimes deal with the aftermath.

I guess I recognise I am inherently selfish because I value the freedom of doing what I need to do to deal with these dark days or moods without having to factor a kid into the mix I think ultimately being a mum would most likely worsen my state because even with medication, I can’t even live alone like I used to because the intense loneliness left me depressed for years on end. I’m just now recovering from this 3 year depressive mood which forced me to move back in with family and even if I get better and can find my own place again, I couldn’t imagine having a kid in the mix.

I think it’s for the best if I never had a child because I do not want my kid to ever be subjected to how I feel as it is a dark and lonely place. Whilst I’ve made this decision, I do feel a little bit of sadness about it and wonder if I will regret 20-30 years down the line and I guess I’m wondering if anyone else feels the same.