ULPT Request: Ideas to avoid a 2 day work convention

Covid. New strain. don't use any photos of tests from the internet, figure out how to fix a real test, photos have secondary data on when they were taken, and sometimes where. sick AF. Stay home, drink and watch netflix, do NOT GO OUT

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nausteus@reddit

If you just didn't try to explain why they shouldn't use a picture from the internet, I would agree with your post almost wholeheartedly. Metadata is laughably easy to remove and I would be surprised if its existence is news to anyone. The option to not capture it or automatically erase it is part of the basic settings, not even advanced settings, in camera and gallery apps now. Reverse image searches are easy though.

That being said, putting a random picture from the internet through photoshop or AI would still be easier than doctoring a real test, but I haven't had a job ask for a picture of a test since 2020 and I've used covid as an excuse at least 8 times now, including last week lol

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vanchica@reddit

Judge me by my explanation, then reduce that by 65% for someone who can't even explain that.

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nausteus@reddit

So says the person who didn't know the word "metadata".

Go check your camera settings and gallery settings.

Here's the basics on Apple to turn off the recording of metadata *and verify that I'm right after you take a picture to test it.

You seem like an iOS user, but if my judgement is actually wrong this time, you can google the relwvant steps for an Android phone now that I taught you a new word lmao

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vanchica@reddit

The process of explaining in a simplified fashion for a broader audience of recipients at risk reduces the chance of risky errors, buffalo breath.

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nausteus@reddit

Sorry, I assumed that you know how to use google. I won't overestimate you again.

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Real-Objective-1426@reddit

Photos don’t have secondary data if you screenshot the photo

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peanutismint@reddit

I have a genuine question: why do you need to lie for an excuse? They’re asking you to go somewhere that’s not your typical place of work for a multi day trip? Can’t you say “no, I don’t want to do that“? Sounds like a full sentence to me.

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TomatoOdd7716@reddit (OP)

They say it’s required for the job, but they didn’t let me know till months after I was hired. It’s a yearly thing twice a year and it sucks.

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peanutismint@reddit

Lots of jobs try and get away with this tactic. Let me ask you this: are you good at your job? Are you well liked and/or in demand? If so, just tell them respectfully you’re not going to go, and then let them decide whether a small thing like this is worth losing a good employee over.

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Law_hacker_1000@reddit

have a friend take a full swing at your leg with a wooden baseball bat.

bonus points if you have corporate insurance.

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Camperthedog@reddit

Get diarrhea, no one can prove you don’t have it. Better yet eat a piss disc, your guaranteed to not feel good after

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PizzaSlingr@reddit

Pinkeye

Don't post any pictures while you would have been to the convention.

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pay_the_cheese_tax@reddit

If you're allergic to a food, eat it and go to the hospital. You'll get a shot, maybe have to throw up, and a nice doctor's note letting you off the hook.

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MangeurDeCowan@reddit

Are you allergic to cheese? and if so, is this what you mean by "pay the cheese tax"?

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pay_the_cheese_tax@reddit

lol no, it's this video

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Atlandios000@reddit

Nah man that's fucking dangerous.

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GoodMilk_GoneBad@reddit

Family or dental emergency.

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AirQuotes18@reddit

Or death of a triplet. You can use that one twice.

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mseuro@reddit

send me instead

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Afraid_Baseball_3962@reddit

If you do claim to be sick like many have suggested (not a bad idea), don't be stupid and post pictures of yourself out partying on social media or anything like that.

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mseuro@reddit

everyone from work should be blocked and your shit should be private and don't list your employer on your socials or use the same profile pic or email

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mseuro@reddit

darn my wallet was stolen

darn my luggage was stored the fertilizer they thought i had a bomb missed my flight

darn my toilet flooded my house gta be here for the insurance guy and plumber and water remediation

darn thought my appendix burst it was a severe uti

darn my uber got pulled over and arrested for a warrant missed the flight

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ironicmirror@reddit

Is your grandmother dead yet? Perhaps now is the time to go to the funeral?

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mseuro@reddit

call me i'll be the dead grandma

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lo-lux@reddit

Space them out a bit. They don't check.

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lucky1pierre@reddit

Unless you're Stephen Ireland.

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UmphreysMcGee@reddit

Tell them that you have a kidney stone. Nobody will ask anymore questions.

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UOfasho@reddit

Measles exposure

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AgreeableAspect7470@reddit

Really unethical, no one should bother you: you had a miscarriage. Or your significant other did and you need to be there for them.

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CBarkleysGolfSwing@reddit

Viral gastroenteritis

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HardCoreNorthShore@reddit

Norovirus. You've got it coming out of both ends and can't leave the bathroom. The more graphic you are in your description, the less questions they'll ask.

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Hockey-Gym@reddit

“Hey boss, I went out last night and brought this girl home and now my dick is on fire. I really don’t want to bring it up to HR but don’t think I can make the show this week.”

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not_thrilled@reddit

Can you say you went and then...just not go? I'm just thinking, the last time I went to a convention, other than the coworker I was there with, no one would've been the wiser if I'd just been elsewhere in Seattle instead of listening to Microsoft sell themselves.

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Positive-Respect-189@reddit

Scabies

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Novel-Structure-2359@reddit

The day before the convention drink a whole bunch of prune juice. Turn the work bathroom into a crime scene. Nobody will want to risk you at the convention.

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EbolaNinja@reddit

You're an adult, just say that you're sick, why do you need anything beyond that?

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Better-Lunch670@reddit

When my job wanted to send me to a 4 day convention in Omaha, I just told them I had other obligations.

Of course overnight trips were never part of the agreement. It was a M-F 7-4 gig.

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FordMaleEscort@reddit

Yeah, just man up and lie like a real adult.

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DuckSleazzy@reddit

sadly not everyone at work is an adult

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Responsible-Cow5828@reddit

Tell your work, you are on a no fly list.

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BiscuitWizardz@reddit

“I can’t stop pooping and puking”

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roflpotato@reddit

quit, no notice. fuck em

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PickleRickPickleDic@reddit

Diarrhea. No one asks anything else beyond that.

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Plenty-Green186@reddit

You have a preplanned sleep study that if rescheduled would take six more months to have completed

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ShoddyJuggernaut975@reddit

Slip a piss disc under the door of the convention center?

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MeanSecurity@reddit

Blow up something “critical” at work, so you have to stay back and fix it.

I had a coworker legitimately need an emergency appendectomy to get out of a work trip. You could just fake an emergency surgery (gall bladder works too). That’ll get you about a week off in total.

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HairyPotter1983@reddit

Say that some of the other attendees have taken out a restraining order.

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pra_com001@reddit

Jury Duty. IRS Audit. Got Arrested.

Take your pick.

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PomeloPepper@reddit

How important is it to avoid it? * Life & Death? * Don't feel healthy? * Extra expense for kid or pet care? * I just don't wanna go?

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Embarrassed_Flan_869@reddit

Im not saying this will work but worth the $$ to try.

Supposedly, drinks with high acidity can cause a false positive.